ATTACHMENT THEORY AND

IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS

Danielle Cooper, Nicole Fleming, Kirsten Rowland, and Tracey Wright

OVERVIEW I. Overview of Attachment Theory

(Bowlby, 1973, 1980; Feeney & Noller, 1990; Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Fraley, 2004)

II. Attachment Assessment (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)

III. The Four Attachment Styles IV. Role-Play Workshop

ATTACHMENT STYLES Secure Anxious-preoccupied Dismissive-avoidant Fearful-avoidant

SECURE Style A - “It is easy for me to become

emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)

SECURE Low avoidance, low anxiety (Fraley,

2004) Children experienced caregivers who

were nurturing and caring (Egeci, 2006) Shows more initiated levels of self-

disclosure (Egeci, 2006) Has positive views of themselves and

others (Bippus, 2003)

ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS

ANXIOUS-PREOCCUPIED Style C - “I want to be completely

emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don’t value me as much as I value them.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)

ANXIOUS-PREOCCUPIED Low, avoidance, high anxiety (Fraley, 2004) May not feel loved completely; Easily

frustrated  or angered when attachment needs unmet (Fraley, 2004).

Negative childhood experiences (Simpson, Winterheld, Rholes & Orina,2007) More responsive to emotional care-giving(Simpson, Winterheld, Rholes & Orina,2007) Strongly motivated to experience "felt“ security (Simpson, Collins, Tran, Haydon, 2007)

Expressed dependence and desire for commitment in relationships (Feeney & Noller, 1990)

ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS

DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT Style D - “I am comfortable without

close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)

DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT Low anxiety, high avoidance (Fraley,

2004) Children experienced caregivers as

unreliable and unresponsive (Stackert & Bursik, 2002)

Personal insecurities influence how they perceive others (Vicary & Fraley, 2009)

ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS

FEARFUL-AVOIDANT Style B -“I am uncomfortable getting

close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)

FEARFUL-AVOIDANT High anxiety, high avoidance (Fraley,

2004) Children experience caregivers who

were distant or absent (Mallinckrodt, Coble, & Gantt, 1995)

See themselves and others negatively (Woodhouse, Schlosser, Crook, Ligiero, & Gelso, 2003)

Tends to minimize closeness in order to avoid rejection (Woodhouse, Schlosser, Crook, Ligiero, & Gelso, 2003)

ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS

SECURE & INSECURE ATTACHMENT VIDEO EXAMPLES

Couple’s Therapy 45 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F-CCC5Y7yI&feature=PlayList&p=131E06DC6C82CABF&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=46Therapy Session 34 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBM-kDUGs7I&feature=PlayList&p=131E06DC6C82CABF&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=34

DATING STUDYBY WITCHER & KANOY Peace College students: N=113 Completed surveys on relationship

experiences Couples videotaped discussing

conflicting situations Three variables showed a significant

correlation: commitment, violence, and dyadic adjustment

DATING STUDY, CONTINUED Data Set – ANOVA

Commitment F(3,109) = 15.42, p<.001

Violence F(3,109) = 5.79, p<.001

Dyadic Adjustment F(3, 109) = 3.99, p<.01

DATING STUDY TABLECOMMITMENT

Commitment N Mean

Secure 59 7.47

Fearful-Avoidant 9 5.64

Pre-occupied 32 7.50

Dismissive-Avoidant

13 5.66

Total 113 7.13

DATING STUDY TABLEVIOLENCEViolence N Mean

Secure 59 1.45

Fearful-Avoidant 9 3.24

Preoccupied 32 1.86

Dismissive-Avoidant

13 2.02

Total 113 1.78

DATING STUDY TABLEDYADIC ADJUSTMENTDyadic Adjustment

N Mean

Secure 59 2.03

Fearful-Avoidant 9 2.53

Preoccupied 32 2.13

Dismissive-Avoidant

13 2.26

Total 113 2.13

IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS:HEALTH Relationships can contribute to things like

stress, depression, loss of self-esteem or confidence, and even physical illness (Schoebi, 2008)

Partners health can have lasting consequences on their relationship, as well as physical and psychological well-being (Schoebi, 2008)

Married and cohabitating partners will resemble each other in health status, either positive or negatively (Monden, 2007)

When people are in a strong, committed relationship they stop engaging in risky behavior and take better care of their physical and mental health (Monden, 2007)

IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS: COUPLE’S THERAPY Focus one specific aspect leads to greater

changes (Doss, Yeow, Sevier, et. al., 2005). Individual cognitions greatly influence how

emotions and behavioral interactions are expressed within relationships (Carrere, Buehlman, Gottman, et. al., 2000).

Distressed couples are more likely to remember negative events vs. positive events (Carrere, Buehlman, Gottman, et. al., 2000).

Therapists use a unique set of skills to help couples effectively deal with conflict within their relationships (Gottman, 1998, 1999).

IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS: STRESS Some stress is necessary in life Unmanaged chronic stress can have

negative effects on physical and psychological health of an individual (Cohen, Gunthert, Farrehi, & Tolpin, 2006).

Ways to Cope with Stress (Christopher, Christopher, & Shure, 2008) Exercise Yoga Meditation Qigong Mindfulness

IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS: EMOTIONAL STABILITY Simpson, Collins, Tran & Traydon, 2007

Secure Remain confident, responsive, and available Build greater intimacy

Insecure Look for self-affirming strategies Suppress urges to self-regulate or internalize problems

Avoidant Stress-relieving techniques Obtain and maintain interpersonal autonomy and

controlAnxious

Avoid emotion-focused coping strategies Achieve greater “felt” security

IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS Conflict resolution

Positive and Negative strategies Accommodate (I Lose, You Win) Avoid (I Lose, You Lose) Compromise (We Both Lose, We Both Win) Compete (I Win, You Lose) Collaborate (I Win, You Win) Use of “I” statements Communication

REFERENCES Barnes, S. Brown, K. Campbell, W. Krusemark, E. & Rogger R. (2007). The

Role of Mindfulness in Romantic Relationship Satisfaction and Response to relationship stress. Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy. 4(33). 482-500

Berger, Kathleen S. (2007). The Developing Person Through the Lifespan. New York, NY, US: Worth Publishers,192-197.

Bippus, A., Rollin, E. (2003). Attachment Style Differences in Relational Maintenance and Conflict Behaviors: Friends' Perceptions. Communication Reports, 16(2)

Calhoun, L., Cann, A., Norman, A., Welbourne, J. (2008). Attachment Styles, Conflict Styles and Humor Styles: Interrelationships and Associations with Relationship. European Journal of Personality, 22(2), pp. 131-146

Carrere, S., Buehlman, K., Gottman, J., Ruckstuhl, L., & Coan, J. (2000). Predicting Marital Stability and divorce in newlywed couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 14 (1), 42-58.

Christopher, J. Christopher, S. & Shure, M. (2008). Mind-Body Medicine and the Art of Self-Care: Teaching Mindfulness to Counseling Students through Yoga, Meditation, and Qigong. Journal of Counseling & Development. 3(86)

Cohen, L. Gunthert, K. Farrehi, A. & Tolpin, L. (2006). Unique Effects of Depressive Symptoms and Relationship Satisfaction on Exposure and Reactivity to Daily Romantic Relationship Stress. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. 5(25). 565-583  

REFERENCES CONTINUED Doss, B. D., Thum, Y. M., Sevier, M., Atkins, D. C., Christensen, A. (2005).

Improving relationships: Mechanisms of change in couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73 (4), 624-633.

Egeci, S., Gençöz, T.(2006). Factors Associated with Relationship Satisfaction. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 28(3), 383-391

Feeney, J. L. & Noller, P. (1990). Attachment style as a predictor of adult relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58 (2), 281-291.

Fraley, Chris R. (2004). A Brief Overview of Adult Attachment Theory and Research. Retrieved from: http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm

Liem, J. H., & Pressler, E. J., (2005). Addressing relationship concerns in individual psychotherapy. (italicized) Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 15(2), 186-212.

Mallinikrodt, B., Gantt, D., & Coble H. (1995). Attachment patterns in psychotherapy relationship: Development of the client attachment to therapist scale. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 42 (3), 307-317.

Monden, C. (2007). Partners in health? Exploring resemblance in health between partners in married and cohabiting couples. Sociology oh Health & Illness, 29 (3), 391-411.

REFERENCES CONTINUED Overall, N. C., Simpson, J. A., Fletcher G.J., and Sibley, C. G. (2009). Regulating

partners in intimate relationships: The costs and benefits of different communication strategies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96 (3), 620-639.

Schoebi, D. (2008). The coregulation of daily affect in marital relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 22 (3), 595-604.

Simpson, J.A., Collins, W.A., Tran, S. & Haydon, K.C. (2007). Attachment and the experience and expression of emotions in romantic relationships: A developmental perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(2), 355-367.

Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Phillips, D. (1996). Conflict in close relationships: An attachment perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71 (5), 899-914.

Simpson, J.A., Winterheld, H.A., Rholes, W.S. & Orina, M.M. (2007). Working models of attachment and reactions to different forms of caregiving from. romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93(3),466- 477

Stackert, Richelle A., Bursik, Krisanne. (2003). Why am I unsatisfied? Adult attachment style, gendered irrational relationship beliefs, and young adult romantic relationship satisfaction. Personality and Individual Differences, 34, 1419-1429.

Vicary, Amanda M., Fraley, Chris R. (2009). Choose your own adventure: Attachment dynamics in a simulated relationship. Personality Social Psychology Bulletin, 33(9), 1279-1291.

Woodhouse, S., Schlosser, L., Crook, R., Ligiero, D., & Gelso, C. (2003). Client attachment to therapist: Relations to transference and client recollections of parental caregiving. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50 (4), 395-408.