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DAISY JANE C. ORCULLO, Ph.D.DAISY JANE C. ORCULLO, Ph.D.

Senior Lecturer-VisitingSenior Lecturer-Visiting

Universiti Utara MalaysiaUniversiti Utara Malaysia

jane@uum.edu.myjane@uum.edu.my

2828thth May 2012 May 2012

Muslim children of divorce Muslim children of divorce families:families:

Exploring their perceptions Exploring their perceptions and experiencesand experiences

The beginnings, the The beginnings, the demands, and demands, and inspirations of inspirations of undertaking the studyundertaking the study

ObjectivesObjectives

Explore the Muslim children Explore the Muslim children experiences on parental divorceexperiences on parental divorce

Understand the meanings of their Understand the meanings of their experiences experiences

Identify the coping process from Identify the coping process from Islamic practicesIslamic practices

Family Systems Family Systems Theory Theory

Early hours of dawn thoughts Early hours of dawn thoughts flashed into my mind how my flashed into my mind how my father cried for help and father cried for help and suffered the pain because of suffered the pain because of the enlargement of his the enlargement of his prostrate gland. I rushed him prostrate gland. I rushed him to the hospital, and without to the hospital, and without delay approached the delay approached the counter that my father counter that my father needed immediate medical needed immediate medical help, even without a penny help, even without a penny in my pocket as I still have to in my pocket as I still have to wait for my elder sister to wait for my elder sister to arrive. arrive.

My father survived the My father survived the operation, yet he whispered operation, yet he whispered to my mother: “without our to my mother: “without our youngest child, I could have youngest child, I could have been dead, for she was the been dead, for she was the only one who took the only one who took the courage to bring me to the courage to bring me to the hospital.”hospital.”

Attachment TheoryAttachment Theory

FieldworkFieldwork

Individual in-depth interview with Individual in-depth interview with audio recording/ Analytical audio recording/ Analytical reading of interview transcriptsreading of interview transcripts

CodingCoding Phenomenological framesPhenomenological frames

MethodologyMethodology

A qualitative study A qualitative study described the personal described the personal stories and experiences of stories and experiences of seven (7) Muslim children seven (7) Muslim children whose parents are divorce. whose parents are divorce.

Data gathered in this study Data gathered in this study closed the existing space in closed the existing space in the literature where Muslim the literature where Muslim children experiences on children experiences on parental divorce is unheard parental divorce is unheard of.of.

Exploring and understanding Exploring and understanding the lived experiencesthe lived experiences

DATA

Description of Events/Anecdot

es

Internalizing Effects

Mediating effects Externalizing effects

Inciting negative reactions

Continuing effect of divorce

Coping and healing

strategies

Perceptions on family and marriage

Providing risks

Eliciting some positive effects

Analysis of data

1. Initial Reactions: 1. Initial Reactions: Hurt, Disappointment, Hurt, Disappointment, Frustration, and Frustration, and ConfusionConfusion

Father ‘s separation - for sisters Father ‘s separation - for sisters

May & LynMay & Lyn

Mother ‘s separation – Nasheeda Mother ‘s separation – Nasheeda

Intact Parents - KarimaIntact Parents - Karima

2. Heightened 2. Heightened Reactions: Anger, Blame, Reactions: Anger, Blame, Rebellion, and Hatred Rebellion, and Hatred

The Father’s Illicit Affair – The Father’s Illicit Affair – Naims Naims

Parents’ Abandonment – Parents’ Abandonment – Ahmad Ahmad

Irresponsible Father – Irresponsible Father – Rael Rael

33. Continuing Impact . Continuing Impact of Divorceof Divorce

Painful MemoriesPainful Memories

Karima And Her CoachKarima And Her Coach

The Sisters: May & LynThe Sisters: May & Lyn

Naims and her MotherNaims and her Mother

Resentment Resentment

4.Externalizing 4.Externalizing effects of parental effects of parental divorcedivorce

Social DetachmentSocial Detachment

The Island Within LynThe Island Within Lyn

Self Exile from SportsSelf Exile from Sports

“ “I am Unworthy”I am Unworthy”

Poor Academic PerformancePoor Academic Performance

May: the UnderachieverMay: the Underachiever

“ “I Lost my Concentration”I Lost my Concentration”

55. Eliciting Positive . Eliciting Positive EffectsEffects

Maturity and IndependenceMaturity and Independence Karima: The Big SisterKarima: The Big Sister May: The Second MotherMay: The Second Mother RaelRael:: The Big Brother The Big Brother

Reorientation of Self-ImageReorientation of Self-Image Ahmad: The ApprenticeAhmad: The Apprentice Karima: The Unsung HeroineKarima: The Unsung Heroine Hashim: Making a ChoiceHashim: Making a Choice

6. 6. Mediating effects Mediating effects of parental divorceof parental divorce

The Islamic way of life provides The Islamic way of life provides

““the spiritual nourishment needed the spiritual nourishment needed for piety and righteousness, for for piety and righteousness, for safety, and peace” (Hammudah safety, and peace” (Hammudah 1975: 107). 1975: 107).

77. Coping and . Coping and Healing StrategyHealing Strategy

The Islamic PrayerThe Islamic Prayer

Mother: The Light of the Mother: The Light of the FamilyFamily

The Divine WillThe Divine Will

Rael and His FaithRael and His Faith

Naims and KarimaNaims and Karima

Summary/ConclusionsSummary/Conclusions

The descriptive phenomenological The descriptive phenomenological method afforded participants the method afforded participants the opportunity to talk about their opportunity to talk about their experiences on parental divorce. experiences on parental divorce.

Ordinarily, pain is a temporary part of Ordinarily, pain is a temporary part of life, but for most of the participants, the life, but for most of the participants, the suppression of emotional pain worked as suppression of emotional pain worked as childhood survival skill. childhood survival skill.

Coupled with a strong support within the Coupled with a strong support within the family and their individual sense of family and their individual sense of coping, many of them managed to coping, many of them managed to recover from the effects of their parents’ recover from the effects of their parents’ separation and divorce. There are separation and divorce. There are lessons to be learned in any life’s trial lessons to be learned in any life’s trial especially when it involves innocent especially when it involves innocent children. children.

Strengthen the Islamization of Strengthen the Islamization of counseling. A production of an Islamic counseling. A production of an Islamic model of counseling is imperative to model of counseling is imperative to guide Muslim counselors in dealing guide Muslim counselors in dealing with Muslim clients deal with their with Muslim clients deal with their problems, Muslim children for one; problems, Muslim children for one;

Guidance and counseling services of Guidance and counseling services of Islamic schools should be modified. Islamic schools should be modified.

Conduct another study on children of Conduct another study on children of divorce parents, yet those who are divorce parents, yet those who are currently in the situation. A currently in the situation. A comparative study on the intensity on comparative study on the intensity on its impact and effects could be one of its impact and effects could be one of the variables. Moreover, the use of the variables. Moreover, the use of phenomenological approach is likewise phenomenological approach is likewise recommended.recommended.

  

RecommendationsRecommendations

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Thank you very much!Thank you very much!