AAT website -a review of tone of

voice on selected pages

by Waxmans

Presented to Janice GallagherSeptember 2009

The brief and summary of findings

• Your brief was to review a selection of web pages and comment on the tone of voice used

• In auditing the pages, it was impossible to ignore aspects of design and we have also commented on these

• There is relatively little copy on each page, but overall, there is an inconsistency in the quality of the offline and online communications

• When compared with the copy in the printed materials, it appears that less attention to detail has been taken over the website copy – negative observations have been made on every page audited

• Similarly, less care has been taken over typography, consistent use of colour and bullet point style when designing the templates

• In summary, there is a difference between the experience of AAT brochure readers and visitors to the AAT website. Visitors to the site may perceive the AAT as a less professional organisation

• Most issues highlighted can be rectified without any major overhaul to the site

Should we be talking about one or a series of Qualifications? This point is raised elsewhere

As a college…

Tone of voice lacks gravitas

This more relaxed style is suited to radio, but less so to be read

Navigation could be more helpful in directing different audiences

Less important tabs (sitemap, text only) could be relegated to foot of screen

Not easy for specific audiences e.g. Employers, Centres to find their area

Full stop missing

Teach the AAT qualification

Lower case l

Try to avoid ‘widows’ where possible, there are several on this page.

Clumsy. Should be About the AAT

an

Directions

Missing full stop

Lower case l

Lower case r; should be black

Not easy to read results, or know where to click next.

See google for ideal example

Lower case l; should be black

Lower case l; should be black

Clumsy. Should be About the AAT

Lower case a/l; should be black

Lower case l; should be black

Clumsy style: alternative. Avoid use of “AAT’s”

AAT online resources and services are exclusively available to AAT members and business partners

Not AAT’s, should be the AAT…

To do…is poor tone. Should be more like work in OR tackle OR take on…

Route OR Pathway?

Lower case a; should be black

Outline, not outlines

Lower case l; should be black

Clumsy style

Inconsistent bullet point style

Inconsistent bullet point style

Lower case a

Missing full stop

Login one word and lower case l

Lower case l

Why initial caps?

No full stop needed

Lower case l

Is it logical to invite members to join?

No ? needed

Unclear meaning

Needs ? But is inelegant phrasing. Alternative eg Why study for… OR The benefits of…

Why the AAT

Lower case l

Clarity needed throughout on use of singular or plural qualifications?

No full stop needed

!!!

Lower case l; should be black

Inconsistent bullet point style

Headings should be black

Spacing issues

Lower part of this webpage on next slide >

Abrupt, unfriendly tone of voice

Not good English. Should be to

!

Lower case l; should be black

Singular; should be black

Missing full stop

Superfluous commas

Typo

Lower case l; should be black

No full stop needed

LGAC?

Should be black; mixture of colour headings on this page

Should just read AAT; random dots… Lower case a

Lower case l; should be black

Lower part of this webpage on next slide >

Should be black; mixture of colour headings on this page

Acronym is too close to AAT. How widely is AT understood?

Lower case a

?

Mix of colours

End