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A Gathering

of

Angels



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Other NaNoWriMo books byKayla J. W. Marnach

An Appointed Time2005-Winner

Other Published Writings

Come to the Gathering Anthology: The Petal Pushers

A Toad in the Commode

Learning Lyrics: Workbook and cassette

Awards

2006 National Poetry Honorable Mention Thy Child and Mine

2005 National Children’s Story Winner The Adventure Box



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A Gathering

of Angels

by

Kayla J. W. Marnach

© Copyright Kayla J.W. Marnach November 2005

For He will command his angels

concerning you

to guard youin all your ways;

they will lift you up

in their hands,

so that you

will not strike your foot against a stone.

Psalm 91:11-12



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This sequel was conceived before An Appointed Time was even complete. And spin-offs from this book are already planned in my head…am I a glutton for

punishment or what! (and Sam Holland does not have to take any of the blame this year for the 30 day absence from my family, as he did in my first endeavor last year.)

A Gathering of Angels was much easier to write, and being the second novel, I guess that’s to expected. I completed the 50,000 word goal in 17 days. My 50,000th word was God, and yes I finagled it (I just didn’t want it to be “a” or “the” and how more important can you get than the name of our heavenly Father.

My personal goal was to have this book be 75,000+ words…and I did it! WooHoo! The word count ended at 75,557, and yes again, I finagled it so that the number would read the same backward and forward. Because I actually wrote “The End” on the 24th , I was able to print, read and make corrections to the book while our family met for the weekend in Waco with my sister Leasa and her husband

Jack at the Homestead Heritage Craft and Fair. There are still plenty of mistakes,but hopefully a lot less than in An Appointed Time.

I was blessed to be able to call upon others during my research so the story would remain true to reality (except for Peter’s experience – I was under the gun to

finish so I didn’t get actual information, therefore the majority of his experience at the end is just from my head.) Peggy Hutton from Pythian Home in Weatherford was a tremendous source and so gracious in sharing her knowledge regarding creating Guardian Home; Lynne Stamps, dear friend who works at State Farm Insurance

provided some much needed information and Bill Ashbaugh, in-house legal counsel

for AFP provided part of the legal information mentioned, any errors are solely mine.

Again my family fully supported this effort by allowing me long stretches of time behind my closed door. Only once did Kami have to tell me to turn down my music and Kara did roll her eyes as I pumped up my word count. And John, my dream of a husband…what can I say. He never complained that things weren’t

getting done around the house. Any time I said I needed to write – he would smile and kiss me farewell. I could not have completed this without his support. What a

blessing he is in my life. I thank God that He brought us together.When I began writing A Gathering of Angels I had no idea that I would experience a portion of it first hand. On November 11, 2006 at 1:30 p.m. Chloe

Ann Cross, the 17 year old daughter of John and Sherry Cross died. John and I have worked together for many years and had been friends before that. Many a time, John and I sat in my office and talked about our daughters. Kami is nine months younger than Chloe and we laughed and raged together about their antics.Chloe was a vivacious, loving Christian young lady and she will be missed beyond words.

The poem at the end of the book was written as an outpouring of my heart. Life is not fair and God never intended it to be, because if life was just then we would have no need to depend upon God. And it is God who is ever-faithful and

just and will provide all the answers to our questions on…the other side of heaven.



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she had gotten over. And keeping him at arms length had only seemed to intensify his efforts. Maybe I’m finally learning HIS buttons, Claire smiled to herself.

Then Peter popped into her head. Oh, what is it about him? Claire wondered.But she knew the answer immediately. It was his sincerity, his consistency, hisobvious care for her.

Peter was the youth minister at her mother’s church. Lydia had had himover every Tuesday for tea and a treat, usually a piece of one of her world famouspies. They quickly developed a very close relationship; one that Claire had beenenvious of when she had first met him.

Each time Claire would see Peter, she would immediately get defensive andinsecure. She had watched the easy going relationship that he and her mothershared. He had seemed to be able to share a story and make it humorous no matterif it was serious or indeed a funny incident.

When her mother became ill, he had been a constant. He came to the

hospital everyday. He tenderly talked to her mother as she lay in the coma, as Clairesat in the chair working on her laptop. How can such a big guy be so tender? Thememory flooded Claire. I want someone to care for me like that. I want someone to love me like that.

And Peter had come to her, time and again, extending the hand of friendship. He never gave up. Almost every day, she would see him, if not at thehospital, then at her mother’s house. And finally he had worn her down, answering her anger with humor, showing her care when she would act indifferent. When she

would sink into a pit of pity party, he was the one that would call her on it, and

when she would fall into the depths of despair, he was the one that extended a hand,lifting her up out of the of hopelessness.

He had shown her that he was not going anywhere, no matter what she did,nor how she felt he was going to be there for her. And finally his sincerity hadbroken her down to the point where she shared with him how she felt growing upin a home where she felt second place. Claire felt her mother had only wanted thebaby, her sister Lyndee, who had died at three days old, ten years before Claire wasborn. During those ten years her mother had poured herself into developing the

land beside their home into a park and dedicated to Lyndee.Everyday her mother had sat on the porch, drinking her tea, looking intothe park, and Claire believed that time was spent yearning for Lyndee.

She believed that because her father told her. He had said Claire should notdisturb her mother when she sat on that side of the porch. He had told her that hermother was “spending time with Lyndee.”

Oh, Daddy did you really know what you were saying? Did you truly have any idea what you were doing to me? Did you want me so much that you were willing to put a wedge between Mother and me, wedge that I did not know how to overcome? The thought saddened

Claire. She was a daddy’s girl. She would have been, even if he hadn’t put thebarrier between her and her mother. He was and always would be her hero andnow to find out through the diary that her mother had written for her, it becameclear that Lydia had had no idea that that conversation had taken place betweenClaire and her father. Lydia had been as hurt as Claire, that Claire would not come



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to sit with her. Daddy, Claire cried, turning to the pillow, I would have loved you. I could have loved you and Mom both.

So much lost time, Claire thought, so much unnecessary hurt. Oh, Mom, Clairesighed, why couldn’t we have talked? Why couldn’t we have connected? Why couldn’t I have realized that you really did love me?

Thinking of her mother, Claire sent up a little prayer, “Lord, I’m still not good at prayer, but I’m asking you, please help me. Help me to…to…” Claire didn’t know how to finish. “Well, Peter told me you know what we need before we do, Lord, so I’m just asking that you help me to see what I need to do.”

Stretching as she got out of bed, she turned and made the bed. Old habits,she thought. Maybe I am more like my mother than I ever realized. The only time thatClaire could recall her mother’s bed not being made was the morning she had thestroke.

Lydia had been writing in her journal and had gotten out of bed to fix tea,

as was her habit. It was obvious that Lydia fully intended on coming back to bedand to continue writing, for the journal was face down, with the pen beside it.

But Lydia never had the chance to pick it up again. As Claire made her way to the kitchen to put the kettle on for tea, she could

not get over the confusion she felt. What am I going to do? she wondered. Lord, I’m really looking for a sign.

Once the tea was ready, Claire went outside to the porch. Sipping her EarlGrey tea, she began to mull over the changes she had begun to feel for Peter.

Smiling, she shook her head, “Who would ever have believed that I have an

interest in a youth minister?” she said aloud to the morning.Rocking on the porch, much like her mother had before her; Claire found

the view of Lyndee Park a peaceful and comforting place. It had never been thatbefore, especially while her mother was live. No, Claire had held nothing butresentment and pain for the park.

It had been created in honor of her sister by her parents. When Lyndeehad died, Lydia knew she needed to do something special, something to honor herchild and that’s when the idea of a park in her honor came to mind, then it because

an obsession. And finally it had come into fruition.Growing up Claire had always resented the park because it had consumedher mother therefore leaving Claire feeling that she was never good enough ormeasured up to her sister. But you can never measure up to a memory or a dream.

“Good morning,” Peter said breaking Claire’s reverieStartled, Claire turned to see the now familiar hulk of Peter. She always

marveled at how big he was. Standing at 6’4” rather heavy set. He wasn’t over weight really; he was just a big guy with auburn hair, and beautifully deep blue eyes.Not someone to make a girl look twice, but once you got to know him, once you

got to see who he was, then it made you realize just how special he was. And thecloser Claire got, the more handsome he became to her.

“You’re up awfully early aren’t you?” Claire asked with a sly smile, but without greeting him formally.



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“Ah, what a wonderful way you have about you, Claire. So gentle and kindand....”

“Cut it, Peter. If I was all sweet and nice, you’d fall flat on your face.”Peter laughed, “And that’s probably the truth, Claire. I must admit, you

keep me on my toes”

Claire loved the banter they shared, each one always trying to outdo theother and usually ending up laughing, calling it a draw.“Just don’t put on a tutu, ok?” Claire said laughing getting up. “Coffee, tea,

or juice?” she asked“Water,” he replied begrudgingly. “I’m going to get in shape if it’s the last

thing I do!” Peer declared.“Hey, you don’t have to convince me you know.” She laughed, holding up

her hands as she headed into the house. As the kitchen screen door slammed shut Peter began to think about how

things had changed between them. They had gotten off to such a rocky start and it had taken all his patience to

finally get a glimpse of the real Claire, the Claire few people ever saw. The death of her mother had taken its toll and he had been beside her the whole time.

And much to his chagrin so had her ex-husband. It was a situation thatPeter was most upset about, but was powerless to do anything about.

He was afraid that the more he pushed, trying to get Claire to see Tony forthe mooch he was, the more he’d come off as jealous. And maybe he was a little,but Claire had already divorced Tony. He was a lazy, womanizing man that thought

only of himself and what fun he wants to have. He totally lived in the present andexpected others to help him when he got himself in a bind. The stories Claire hadshared with him about her life with Tony had made him wonder why she ever letthe guy back in her life.

Peter couldn’t stand him. The guy was the preverbal tall dark andhandsome guy, but he was only skin deep. And what was deeper was not something pleasant.

“Here ya go,” Claire said as she handed Peter a bottle of cold water.

“Thanks,” he said, taking it from her and drinking half of it down in oneswig.“Guess I’d better get back to it,” he said standing up.Surprised by his sudden departure, Claire questioned him, “Wow, that was

quick, was it something I said? I brushed my teeth before I came out.”Peter gave her a half hearted smile, quickly gulping the last of the water.

Thinking about Claire and her ex had put Peter in a fowl mood and he felt it best if he wasn’t around at the moment.

“I’ve got to get going,” he said. “I have a lot to do today. If you’ll be home

I’ll come by this afternoon.”“Oh, uh,” Claire hesitated, “I’m going to the reading of Mom’s will this

afternoon.”Instantly concerned at the emotional stress it might cause, “Would you like

me to come with you?” Peter asked



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“No,” Claire quickly answered, “that’s okay.”Peter had to ask. “Tony will be with you?”Claire nodded her head.“Okay, I’ll just catch ya later. Thanks for the water.”Peter put the empty bottle on the railing of the porch, turned and headed

down the steps.“Be careful, okay?” he said over his should, not wanting Claire to see thehurt in his eyes.

He was gone before Claire could even come up with a quick cute retort. Watching Peter walk away, Claire thought, Oh, what is it about you Peter that

makes me want to follow you down those steps? But Claire knew the answer. She knew that Peter cared about her, for herself, no strings attached.

As for Tony, Claire had begun to have second doubts about him, again, buthe always seemed to be able to worm his way into the dealings in her life. And the

reading of the will was one of those dealings.He had been with Claire when the call from the attorney had come.

Quizzing her, then aware of her obvious distress, he had stated that he would begoing with her to the reading. No ifs, ands or buts, he was going, case closed.

At first Claire wanted to stand up to him and say no, but old habits die hardand she felt it was better to just give in that create a scene. The only thing hermother would have to give was the home anyway, so what was the harm in himgoing.

And unfortunately Claire let the fact that Tony was out of job and in need

of money slip by her. Vulnerable and blinded by his charm, she never saw what histrue motive and intentions were.



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Chapter 2

“But how do I know, Mrs. P,” Anna Jo sniffed, “how do I know His angels

are around me? How do I really know?”Mrs. Putnam stroked the long brown hair of the sixteen year old girl.

“Sometimes we feel it, and sometimes we just have to take it on faith that we’rebeing guided. But at all times, Anna Jo, when we put our faith and trust in Jesus,He’ll carry us through, whether we see His footsteps beside us or is carrying us, He’sthere. He’s as real as you and me.”

*

Nora sat in her car in front of the Guardian Children’s Home. Looking upat the huge sprawling 3 story home that housed 14 children, 2 sets of dorm parentsand a host of people that ran the place, Nora smiled as she heard sounds of laughterfrom the yard.

“I knew Hetty would make a go of the place,” Nora stated out loud.Nora and Hetty had met at church and Nora’s two children had on

occasion visited the home, performing service projects with their youth group. Twice Nora had joined the group, working in their garden while the youth hadpainted rooms or repaired fences surrounding the home.

What a delight Nora had felt in being at the Guardian Home.Remembering that feeling of calmness and security she had felt, Nora had comehere on her return home.

“Nothing like a new start,” she said to herself. And a new start it was. Nora had just returned from seeing her daughter

and explaining that she was separated from her father. Harold was a controlling man, who lived only for his mother’s approval. And Nora had never measured upto that approval. Even after 24 years of marriage, Nora was still the outsider,

completely under the control of a man who dominated her in every way and underthe mother that dominated him.

When Nora recently told Harold that she was pregnant, he had exploded,telling her she was going to get an abortion. Even her children had supported theidea.

Nora knew that was something she would never do…again. So she hadpacked her bags and had left him, but before she could get out of town, shemiscarried.

It was one of the saddest days of her life, little Ethan David Turner. He

never had a chance at life, a life that Nora so wanted to give him, but it just wasn’tmeant to be.

She had stayed with Darla, her friend from church, for several weeks, thenhad left town. And now she was back. There were too many unfinished things.



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And Nora believed that before she could begin a new life, a life where she could letGod be in control, she knew she would have to face Harold.

Sighing heavily, Nora got out of her car and began the walk up the long staircase to the door. Pretty imposing, she thought to herself. I wonder how a child would

feel walking up these stairs, knowing that soon their parent would be walking down them without

them. Nora opened the big oak door and the smell of lemon polish filled hersenses. Now this is a place I could feel at home, Nora surprised herself thinking. Forsuch a large place, it had a homey feel to it. The tile floor was shiny and the pictureson the wall were a tasteful display of children’s art.

Stuffed animals sat on little benches outside the reception door as if to greetand sooth the little ones who would enter.

Nora smiled as she had the urge to pick one up before entering the officedoor. Resisting the impulse, Nora walked through the open doorway into the

office. The receptionist looked up from her computer as Nora entered.“May I help you?” she asked.“Yes, I was wondering if Hetty Putman was in,” Nora said politely.

The receptionist looked over at the switchboard, “She’s in, but she’s on thephone. Would you care to wait?” she offered.

“Yes, thank you.” Nora replied. The receptionist smiled, “It shouldn’t be too long. Please just have a seat

and I’ll tell her you’re waiting.”

“Thank you,” Nora said as she took a seat on a green and red plaid couch.“My name is Nora, Nora Turner. We go to church together and I’ve been here withour youth group.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the receptionist replied as she walked into Hetty’s office.

*

As Peter held the phone, he leaned back in his chair, feeling challenged.

“So,” he hesitated, “you feel that there should be an organized effort, aprogram of some sort where the children there at the home could help others insome way. And by them helping others, they wouldn’t feel as if they were the only ones in need. Is that about right?”

“Exactly,” replied Mrs. Putnam with a smile in her voice. “There are somany people that help the children here at Guardian Home, and they don’t havemuch of an opportunity to give back. By providing them that opportunity, they willgain a sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

“They need to feel as useful and productive as anyone else, because,”

waiting for just a moment so her words would have an impact, “I refuse to allow any, and I mean ANY of these children to become a welfare case when they leavehere or for them to pity themselves because of unfortunate circumstances.”



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“Oh, I understand, Mrs. Putnam,” Peter agreed. “This is a great idea, I’mjust not sure what you have in mind for them to do, or what kind of a project youthink would be worthwhile.”

“Well, Mr. McAlister,” Hetty answered, “that’s where you come in. You’rea youth minister at our relatively large church. There should be a lot of

opportunities for the youth to serve.”“We have a lot of activities, Mrs. Putnam, and we certainly have serviceprojects that we do, but we don’t have anything that is on going. I mean,” Peterstopped, grasping for words, “what you’re proposing sounds like it’s going to be apretty big operation.”

“It doesn’t have to start off that way, but I have a couple of boys and a girlthat need to be validated beyond what they do here. They need to see that they have a place in society, that they ARE contributing citizens and are valued. We allneed that, but the children who live here, that’s been missing in their life. Surely as a

youth minister Mr. McAlister, you have some idea of what they could do.”Peter rose to the bait, “Of course, Mrs. Putnam, there has to be something,

but right now, you know how stretched we are financially at church. I’m just notsure what’s in the budget for a project of this sort.”

“Well, I have all the confidence in the world in you, Mr. McAlister. I haveheard nothing but praises when your name is mentioned by the members. And I’velistened to you preach when the minister was out of town. You have a heart for thistype of work. You’re a man of God and have a heart for service, so just let meknow what you come up with and we’ll get the necessary arrangements going.”

After an endorsement like that how could he say no? “Yes ma’am,” Peterreplied. “I’ll be in contact soon.”

“Good,” Hetty said quite pleased. “I look forward to hearing from yousoon.”

As Peter clicked the church cordless phone off, he laid it on his desk andlooked at his computer screen. He had 48 unanswered emails, 12 items on his task list and 3 meetings that he had to be at today, and it was only 10:17 in the morning.

Realizing what time it was, Peter jumped out of his chair, grabbed his Bible,

notebook and lesson plan.“Oh, Lord…give me strength, calmness and patience,” Peter quickly prayedas he closed his office door, because right now I feel weak, agitated and in a hurry to get this day over with.

As Peter hurried down the hallway the idea of an ongoing organized youthservice project began to take hold. Hmm he thought a project where the kids could be in control. Maybe they could do something that they would be responsible for, something where they would be held accountable for the results. Maybe they could…

Suddenly he felt an impact like he had hit a wall.

Peter never saw him coming. Without the faintest clue as to whathappened, Peter found himself looking at the floor with his papers fluttering downaround the preacher who was staring up at him with a look on his face that was notfilled with much grace.



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*

As Claire and Tony walked into the attorney’s office, Mr. Mahoney camefrom around his desk.

“Claire,” he began, extending his hand.

As Claire took his hand and smiled, she then turned to Tony. “I don’tknow if you’ve met Tony...Tony Drake,” she said.“No,” replied Mr. Mahoney, “I haven’t. Nice to meet you, Mr. Drake,” the

attorney said quickly ending the handshake, and turning to Claire, “I believe it wouldbe best if you and I met in private.”

“Excuse me?” Claire said taken aback by his bluntness, she wasn’t sure shehad heard him correctly.

“Is there a problem?” Tony asked raising his brows, taking a step ahead of Claire as if she needed protection. “Surely you’re not saying that I can’t come in,”

he said in disbelief.“This is a legal matter, Mr. Drake and it is best if only the parties involved

in the will are present,” the attorney stated, not backing down an inch.“Well,” Claire said confused, “is there a problem?” she asked looking back

and forth between the attorney and Tony.“No, Claire,” he assured her, “there is no problem, but this is a legal

proceeding and not open to the public.”“Uh,” Tony huffed, “I’m not the public, sir. I’m…” Tony looked at Claire

sensing that he needed to choose his words very carefully. “Claire and I divorced

but we’re seeing each other again,” taking her hand he looked into her eyes, “and we’re trying to work things out between us.”

Looking back at the Mr. Mahoney, Tony bent his head down ever soslightly, “so there’s nothing that you can say to Claire, that you can’t say to me.”

Staring at Tony, Claire’s head began to reel, We’re seeing each and other and we’re working things out between us? Is that what we’ve been doing? Is that what he wants? Really?

Mr. Mahoney remained firm, looking at Tony first, then at Claire. “This is a

closed meeting.”“But…” Claire began. She had never expected anything like this and Mr.Mahoney’s firm stance on her coming into the office by herself was a mystery.

“Ms. Drake,” he said, looking directly at Claire, “as your attorney and as theattorney for your parents for many years, I am requesting that you heed my council.”

Feeling pressured with no way to get around his request, Claire turned to Tony, “Look,” she said attempting to appease him, “this won’t take long,” Trying tolighten the mood she smiled and said, “You know how my folks were,” shrugging

her shoulders. “They could be real sticklers and they’ve probably written mesomething that they asked to be read in private or something.”

Tony stood firm, looking at the attorney. He was not leaving withoutclearly being told to get out.



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Mr. Mahoney continued to look at Claire, totally ignoring the man standing beside her.

Then Tony changed tactics and looked at Claire with pleading eyes, begging her not to send him away. He wanted to know what was going on and he wanted toknow everything. He wanted to know what kind of an inheritance she was getting

and if there were any stipulations or reasons that Claire would not be able to get herhands on any money that would be coming to her.Claire closed her eyes and quietly said, “Please, Tony. It won’t be long I’m

sure.”Begrudgingly, Tony looked directly at the attorney and said, “I’m right

outside, Claire. Okay?” Then with an air of defiance, while still looking at the attorney, Tony took

Claire by the shoulders and kissed her cheek. Then he looked at Claire so sheunderstood his meaning, “I’m not going anywhere, Babe. I’ll be right outside.”

Then he turned on his heel and walked out of the paneled office. When Claire heard the door firmly close, she gently shook her head, trying

to grasp the situation and Tony’s attitude. Then she looked at the man standing before her.

“I certainly hope there is a good reason for all this secrecy, Mr. Mahoney,”Claire said.

“Please,” he said gently taking Claire by the elbow, “sit down Claire. In amoment this will all make sense. For now I just need you to trust me and my judgment.”

“Well, you are certainly being very mysterious, but my parents trusted youfor as long as I can remember, Mr. Mahoney, so I see no reason why I shouldn’t.”

“Good,” he said with a firm nod of his head as he ushered her to one of theoverstuffed burgundy leather chairs facing his oversized cherry wood desk.

As the attorney looked at the mass of papers in front of him, he took adeep breath.

Knowing the answer before he even asked it, “Did you and your parentsever discuss their financial position?” he asked thumbing through part of the large

stack of documents in front of him. “Did they ever say anything about theirdealings with money?”“No,” she said told him, “They never said a word. I knew there wasn’t a

problem with money, but they never said anything about it. They weren’t ones totalk about money or anything.”

“Well,” Mr. Mahoney began, “your parents came to me years ago and weset up everything so that in the event of one of their deaths, all monies would go tothe surviving spouse. And at the event of the death of the surviving party, all of it

would in turn go to you. ”

Taking one of the documents, he reviewed it, and then looked at Claire.“At the time of your father’s death, I handled everything. At that time,” he said, “Idid not feel at liberty to divulge their financial status. That was a subject that wasleft up to your mother to discuss with you.”

Looking at Claire he said, “I urged her to talk to you about it then.”



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“Well, she didn’t.” Claire told him.“I gathered that,” he said as he again began to rifle through the pages once

more, “because on subsequent visits when I brought the issue up to your mother,she would always say she was going to talk to you about it…soon. Butobviously…” he left the sentence hanging; he didn’t need to finish it.

Sitting there Claire wondered when all the unsaid things would stop needing to be said.“We didn’t talk much,” she confessed, staring at her hands as she folded

them in her lap. “And when we did, our conversations usually didn’t last very long.So,” Claire sighed heavily, “there really wasn’t much of an opportunity for us toshare much about ourselves. We just didn’t do that.” Oh is there a lot of truth in those words Mother. We really didn’t share did we? That is until you wrote a diary for me. Lost inher regrets, she missed the first of the attorney’s statement.

“Excuse me?” she said looking up at him.

Having found the document he was looking for, Mr. Mahoney slid it acrossthe top of the desk toward Claire.

“Well, I wish she had, but she didn’t,” he stated flatly. “So…Claire,” hesaid folding his hands, laying them on top of his desk, watching to see what her firstreaction would be, “you have just inherited a fortune.”

Claire sat stunned, frozen by his words.“You’re kidding,” she said.“No,” Mr. Mahoney said shaking his head, “I’m quite serious. You are now

a very wealthy woman.”

“What?” she asked not believing what she had just heard.Picking up the document that he slid across his desk toward her and

looking at, she asked again, “What did you say?”“You have inherited a fortune,” he repeated.“How? How could I not have known? I mean,” she faltered, “how can this

be?”“Oh, it’s no mistake, Claire,” the attorney assured her. “Your parent’s

estate is in excess of two million dollars. Just how much over, that I still haven’t

determined. I’m waiting a few more stock values to come in and there is still someadditional information from several brokers that I haven’t received yet, but I feltthat I needed to get this information to you as soon as was feasible.”

Claire continued to shake her head in disbelief.“But since I have received the bulk of the information,” he explained, “well

that’s why I called you and set up this meeting,”“But I had no idea that Daddy was in the stock market. I can’t believe that

Daddy played the stock market,” Claire said more to herself than to the attorney.“And Mother surely never mentioned anything about it,” Claire said trying to wrap

her head around it all. “I thought that the only money she had was the lifeinsurance, Daddy’s retirement and of course the house. But that’s it. Imean…that’s it. How could she not have told me something this important?”

“I’m sorry, Claire,” he said, “I really am. I know this must have come asquite a shock to you.”



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“Well, it certainly has, Mr. Mahoney,” Claire said. “It certainly has.”“Not to speak ill of the dead, but your mother was never one to discuss

uncomfortable subjects. She let your father handle all of the business arrangements,seldom ever coming here. If fact she only came in here when signed documentsneeded to be notarized. After your father’s death, I helped her clear every up. And

I assure you on more than one occasion I asked if she had talked to you about herfinancial status. She promised me she was going to.”Mr. Mahoney had been a family friend for years. And she believed him.

He would never have encouraged her mother to keep this knowledge from her. Sothen why Claire wondered, why hadn’t Mom told me about this? What was she afraid of?

“How could she NOT talk to me about that?” she asked, suddenly feeling angry. She asked the question without truly expecting an answer.

A heavy silence filled the room. At the news of such a windfall, Mr.Mahoney usually endured hoops and hollers about hitting the jackpot, screams and

tears about how the recipients life was now going to perfect.Stunned disbelief followed by grateful, tearful words of thank you he was

use to. But this…this silence saddened him. He had been unsure as to whatClaire’s reaction was going to be. He had pondered many different scenariosregarding her reaction, but this silence was unexpected.

“Claire,” he said softly.He waited for a moment the repeated her name, “Claire?”Claire raised her head, returning to the present.“Do you now understand why, before you sat down, I made it clear that we

should go over this alone?”Claire’s brows drew together. “Are you saying this has something to do

with Tony?” she questioned.“Yes, it certainly does, Claire,” he nodded. “Your mother and father made

it abundantly clear how they felt about your ex-husband. Before your divorce, yourfather and I discussed ways of tying the money up so that Tony would not get any part of what you might inherit, or at least greatly limit it.”

He leaned back in his chair, and looked at Claire carefully. “So, you can

understand my…” trying to choose his words carefully, “my surprise when I saw that he had walked in with you.”“I guess, maybe…” Claire mumbled.“I believe it would be in your best interest and it is my professional opinion

that you should not to say anything to him regarding your present financialposition,” Mr. Mahoney stated. He had made it clear…don’t say a word!

“But he’s out there, waiting for me to walk out,” Claire said. “What am Isupposed to say?” Clearly feeling caught in a situation she did not know how to getout of.

“You don’t owe him an explanation, Claire,” the attorney said. Trying toget his point across he added, “Your father and I had many long discussions aboutyour ex-husband and I can’t tell you how relieved he was when you divorced.”



- 20 -

Claire was stunned. She knew that her parents had not cared for Tony, butnot to this point. Not to the point that they would talk to an attorney about keeping him out of her inheritance.

Great thought Claire thought now he’s out in the lobby pacing, wondering what’s going on. How do I not let him know I’ve just inherited over two million dollars?



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Chapter 3

Anna Jo wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Mrs. Putnam, the

woman that had been her mentor for six years, six of the best and most difficultyears of her young life.

“If God has put His angels around me,” Anna Jo hesitated; she didn’t quiteknow how to phrase her question but took the bold step to ask, yet fearing thatthere wasn’t an answer, “then why has He let so many bad things happen to me?”

As Anna Jo raised her teary brown eyes, Hetty Putnam looked deep intothem. She waited until she knew she had the girl’s undivided attention. This was aquestion she had answered many times to many children when they had asked,“Why me?”

“Because,” Hetty said with a gentle smile, “He has a special plan just foryou that only you can fill. He is strengthening you for His purpose in your life.”

Anna Jo looked at Hetty still confused.“Everything in our life,” Hetty continued softly, “every decision we make,

every step we take, everything that happens in our life, when we’re living in God’s will, His plan for our life will someday become known. And everything thathappens to us, Anna Jo will draw us closer to Him…if we allow it.”

“But why does it have to hurt so much?” Anna Jo asked as her tears beganto fall once more.

*

Man, what are you doing? Peter asked himself as he pulled up to the GuardianHome.

As the afternoon sun reflected off the various pieces of playgroundequipment, Peter turned off the engine and surveyed the setting.

So this is home to kids without parents. All around him were signs of activity.

There were bikes and tricycles parked on or near the racks. Well worn swings stoodready for the next ride to be taken. The merry-go-round paint had long since fadedfrom all the many feet that had stood on the boards, while voices had probably squealed in delight.

Sitting in his car, he continued his examination of the area. From open windows laughter spilled out into onto the lawn, blanketing it with a sweetness of contentment. Blending with the laughter, the smells of the evening meals floatedout, reminding Peter that in his hurry to get things done, he had failed to eat lunch.

Luckily his meetings had been short and sweet. As far as he was concerned,

that was the only way to have a meeting, but sometimes when you get the deaconsand elders together, they could talk a point to death. But today he had beenfortunate. The meetings had been more for finalizing prior plans that had beenmade.



- 22 -

And here’s one more plan that needs to get in the works , Peter thought. Be with me Lord, Peter prayed, help me to just listen and not agree to things that will take an act of Congress to get done.

Walking up the cracked sidewalk, Peter noticed the garden on the side of the house. Brimming with ripe vegetables, the garden looked as if it was begging to

be picked, weeded and generally cleaned up.“Quite the challenge, don’t you think?”Caught off guard, Peter at once turned toward the voice, “Yes, I mean

no…” Peter stammered The two women chuckled, “It’s okay,” replied the lady who had an aura of

authority about her, “it does need work and lucky for us,” she said putting her armaround the woman standing beside her, “we just got us a gardener.”

Peter smiled, and then recognized the lady who had spoken was Mrs.Putnam, the administrator of Guardian Home. He had talked to her once or twice

at church and she was well known at church as a lady who could get things done.Peter extended his hand, “Peter McAlister,” he said.“Hetty Putnam,” she replied, and then turned to her friend.Reaching out her hand, he shook the other lady’s hand.“Nora Turner,” she said. “Pleased to meet you…again Mr. McAlister”Squinting his eyes, he looked at her again. She seemed familiar, but he

couldn’t quite place her.She smiled, deciding she had allowed his puzzled look to go on long

enough. “We met while I was in the hospital, in the room next to Mrs. Lydia

Hamilton. You were nice enough to visit me one night.”Nora hesitated then decided to let the whole meeting be retold. “You

heard me crying and came in to see if there was anything you could do. I had justhad a miscarriage and my marriage was in shambles and I truly felt totally alone.”

Recognition began to spread across Peter’s face as he recalled the incident.“My friend Darla Malone came in as you were leaving. We both go to your

church, but usually I sit on the back pew.”Peter smiled, “I remember,” he said recalling the agony of her pain. “It was

a long night.”Nora looked at Peter and smiled, “I don’t think I ever said thank you. Youhave no idea what it meant to me to have someone, who didn’t even know I existed,care about me. You shared with me and listened to me and, well…you made adifference in my life, and I just wanted you to know that.”

“It wasn’t just me, you know? It was Jesus working through me,” Petersaid gently.

Nora smiled, “I know,” she replied. “I know.” Then Nora turned to Hetty, “Well I’d better get going so I can get things

handled.”“Good,” Hetty said firmly.Nora took both of her hands and held Peter’s hand. “Thank you. You’re a

good man.”



- 23 -

Nora turned and walked down the sidewalk to her car. As she opened thedoor she waived to the two of them, got in her car and drove away.

“That,” Hetty said, “is one woman who has been to the depths and hascome up whole.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Peter said watching the car drive off, “that’s the impression I

just got.” As Nora’s car disappeared from sight, Hetty turned to Peter, “So young man, just couldn’t wait to get out here, huh?” she smiled

“Well, I must admit, I am intrigued,” Peter said, “but I’m going to need alot more information before we can even begin to see what we can do.”

“Then come in,” Hetty said heading up the stairs into the house, “let meshow you around our home.”

*

Nora sat in her driveway, once again looking at the house that had been herhome for twelve years. And again she realized that she had never been happy here.It had always been a place where she had no control. Harold her husband had allthe control and she had allowed him that. And in turn, she had given her childrencontrol over her also. She had constantly lived in fear of making Harold mad. And

when he was mad he would make everyone around him miserable. Although he had never laid a hand on her, Nora had often wished he had

because the mental abuse was something she could not stop running through her

head.Even when he wasn’t around, his words would ring in her ears. And no

matter what she did to try and stop them, the words mocked her, taunted her, andin the end she fulfilled their prophecy. She became what he told her she was…auseless, worthless, incompetent, pathetic excuse of a woman who could never doanything right because she was a waste of clean air and all she was doing was taking up space.

Nora smiled to herself and shook her head, Funny how I can remember each and

every negative thing Harold said to me, but I can’t remember anything good. Spending time away from him had done her good. She had been able to geta sliver of a glimpse of what life could be like. She had felt what it would be like to

wake up and not have to walk on eggshells in fear of making the inevitable wrong move. She had been able to take a deep breath of fresh clean air and to feel thatmaybe, just maybe she would be okay, that she did have value.

And what a godsend Hetty had been. Hetty had thrown Nora anunexpected lifeline and she had grabbed it like her life depended on it. And indeedit did. Hetty had offered Nora the position of gardener for the Guardian Home

because their current grounds keeper, Mr. Henley, just couldn’t keep up to all thatneeded doing. Rather than a salary, Nora would have a safe place to live and foodto eat.



- 24 -

Now, knowing that she didn’t have to stay in the house with Harold hademboldened Nora. A confidence that she didn’t know she had, had surfaced and itfelt good. It was a feeling that Nora wanted to have for the rest of her life.

Taking a deep breath, and exhaling slowly, Nora calmed herself. Lord, helpme to get through this. Please don’t let me weaken. Please Lord be with me like you were in the

hospital, and at Darla’s, and then at the park when I let the balloons go in little Ethan’s honor.Please Lord, help me to stay strong. Nora opened the car door and got out. As she headed up the walk, she saw

the curtains move. Harold was in the house.

*

On the drive back to her mother’s house, Claire was filled with a heavy silence. Tony had finally stopped asking questions when he realized that Claire was

not going to answer them. She didn’t know how to answer him. Filled with confusion, Claire just wanted to be left alone to think. But Tony

had other ideas. He had never been one to like silence and this time was nodifferent. But finally after he realized she was not going to talk, he stopped asking her about what had occurred at the attorney’s office and decided on another tactic.He began to ask her where she wanted to go to dinner that night, did she want tosee a movie, or did she want him to stay the night with her?

The last question finally got her attention“No, Tony. I want to be alone,” she said flatly. “I have a lot of things to

think about and I really don’t feel like being around anyone just now. So please,”she looked at him and pleaded, “just drop me off at the house. I’ll call youtomorrow.”

“Claire, I just don’t think now is a good time for you to be alone,” he toldher. “I mean it’s obvious that you’re upset about something. And you need to talk and I want to be that person. I want to know what’s going on. I want to be therefor you.”

Tony reached over and put his hand on her shoulder, “Really babe, I’m

here for you.”Claire just closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. She had heard thisspeech more than once and usually it was because there was something he wanted.He would offer to be there for her…if she’d just do this one thing for him. Why can’t I just tell him to leave? She yelled in her mind.

The old familiar pattern had quickly settled in between her and Tony, butthe words of the attorney droned in her ears, “Your mother and father made itabundantly clear how they felt about Tony. Before your divorce, your father and Idiscussed ways of tying up the money so that Tony would not get any part of what

you might inherit. Your father and I had many long discussions about it and he wasso relieved when you divorced.”

So relieved, huh Dad Claire thought I knew you didn’t like Tony. And that’s one of the reasons I married him. In fact I married him for all the wrong reasons…to get out of the house, to get out of town and to have excitement in my life. I had no idea what real life was like.



- 25 -

Tony pulled into the driveway of Claire’s mother’s house, and turned theengine off. He turned to her and put his fingers under her chin, turning her headtoward him so she had no choice but to look into his beautiful deep blue eyes,“Looks like your home now. All this and more is yours, now. And you know I’mhere to do whatever I can to help.”

Claire closed her eyes and turned away, “I know, Tony and I appreciate it.But I just want some time alone to sort things out.”“I can help you know,” he pushed. “I’m not completely ignorant of money

you know. And if you’re in financial straits now, well…” Tony didn’t finish the sentence. He waited, hoping that Claire would finish

it, giving him a clue as to what had been said in the attorney’s office. Her silencehad indicated there was a problem and he wanted to know just which way the coinshad fallen.

“I’ll call you,” was all Claire said.

Tony leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be waiting Babe.”Claire got out of his car, shut the door and walked up the porch steps,

never turning around.



- 26 -



- 27 -

Chapter 4

Anna Jo hugged Mrs. Putnam, “What would I do without you?”

“Well,” Hetty replied, “Life is full of changes and we just have to take eachchange as it comes and not borrow things that might not happen.”

Hetty smiled down at the girl who had seen far too much in such a shortlife, “Today is our chance to make a difference in our life. It’s truly the only time wehave.”

*

“I just can’t believe you’re doing this!” Harold yelled. “What in the world

will our friends think? Don’t you care what other people think about you? Do you want to be seen as a failure?”

Nora did not speak. They had been sitting at the kitchen table when Noratold him of her plan to move to Guardian Home while they sort things out.

At first Harold tried the tactic of demanding she say, then he changed histone to pleading with her, telling her how much he really needed her and now withthe baby out of the picture, they could go back like they were.

That comment had thrown Nora over the edge. She stood up, shoved herchair back and glared at him.

“THAT is exactly why I’m leaving Harold. You have no idea what thatchild, our son meant to me.”

“Is that why you didn’t tell me for two weeks that you’d miscarried? You wanted me to go crazy trying to figure out what we were going to do. You wantedme to suffer too?”

Nora shook her head, “Harold, I didn’t tell you immediately because I knew your reaction would be relief and I felt only sadness and loss. I would not havebeen able to endure your pathetic words of “well that’s over with,” because I

KNEW that’s how you’d feel.”“That baby meant more to you than me?” Harold raged. “Is that it Nora,

you just wanted another baby?”“Harold…,” Nora started and then she didn’t know what to say. She knew

he’d never change. And she realized that she would never go back to her old way of life, being a doormat to a controlling man who disregarded her in every way. There

was no love here, only a habit of being together.“Harold, what about the money?” she finally asked, bringing up a subject

she’d rather not discuss, but knew it had to be faced.

“Look,” he replied defensively, “what I did with the money was no worsethan you getting pregnant!”

“Oh!” Nora screamed at him, “How dare you even compare those twothings. I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. YOU, on the other hand, lied and hid the



- 28 -

fact that you had taken our life savings and gambled it in the stock market and online poker and you lost it!”

“Your life savings?” Harold snorted, “As I see it, you’ve been a kept woman all your life. I’ve fed and clothed you and kept you in a beautiful home allthese years!”

“And I raised our two children, fed you, cleaned the house and cooked yourmeals, and…”Suddenly Nora stopped. He was right. She had never worked outside the

home. She had never earned money, but she had fulfilled her role and obligations asa stay at home mom, which Harold would undermine the moment he came homethat is when he came home. And over the past several years his business trips hadlasted longer and longer, especially once both children were out of the house.

Seeing all the signs now, Nora realized just how numb and blind she hadbeen in her life. She hadn’t been living, merely existing, and now that was no longer

enough.Silently Nora turned and headed to their bedroom. Harold stood still,

feeling he had her right where he wanted her, beaten down and submissive. Waiting for her to come to her senses and apologize, he continued to sit at the kitchen table.

Only when he heard the front door close, did he realize that Nora hadintended on leaving. Rushing out the front door he ran to her car and confrontedher, “Where are you going, Nora?” He glared at her. “I’m your husband and I havea right to know,” he demanded.”

“I told you before, I’ll be living at the Guardian Home,” Nora calmly

replied as she put her suitcases in the car and closed the passenger side door.“What you are taking with you?” he challenged. “You’re not taking any of

our things out of this house.”“I wouldn’t want anything, Harold. It would remind me too much of all

the pain I have lived through, and I don’t need that.”“I’m not giving you a divorce, Nora. I’ll not have everyone think I’m a

failure,” he yelled. “You’re tied to me and you always will be. I’m never going to letyou go,” he threatened, an absolute fury welling up inside him.

For the first time, fear swept over Nora. Quickly she got into the car,started the engine and put the car in reverse. Harold rushed to her side of the car,put his hands on the window and with a glaring look that reached down into thedepths of her soul making her shake with panic, he calmly, coldly told her, “You’regoing to regret this day, Nora. I’m going to make sure of that.”

Nora put her foot on the gas and screeched out of the driveway, vowing never to come back.

*

Peter strolled along one of the well worn trails in Lyndee Park, taking hisusual path that would lead near to the Hamilton Home, where Claire was staying since her mother’s death.



- 29 -

As he neared the house, he saw the porch was empty and became very disappointed. He hadn’t realized how much he was counting on Claire sitting outthere. But knowing that that side of the porch held so many conflicting emotions,he knew he shouldn’t be disappointed. Should I just go check on her? He wondered.

Peter had been surprised at the turn in their relationship and he was quite

pleased by it. It had taken all his will and strength to get through to Claire that he was not after anything from her, but that he wanted to help her. And finally, finally the wall she had surrounded herself with had shattered and she had spilled years of heartache and brokenness as they sat on her mother’s porch.

Stopping on the trail and looking at the porch, Peter recalled his feelings asClaire had bared her soul. What a waste he recalled feeling if only she and her parents would have talked openly, no one would have had to suffer the consequences of silence and the misinterpretation it represented.

The following day, after Claire had bared her soul, when Peter came by to

check on her, she had immediately tried to put the wall up again, but he was quick to recognize the signs and had called her on it.

“Claire, no,” he had begun, “don’t shut me out. What you told meyesterday will not go any further than just the two of us. Look,” he said taking astep closer to her and taking her hands, “it’s okay. You don’t have to bottle up youremotions any more. There’s no reason to. Your parents didn’t handle the situationthe best way, but they did what they thought was best. They loved you that muchyou know, so just give them some grace and let it go. They’re both gone now andyou don’t have to hold anyone at arms length anymore out of fear of being

rejected.”Peter recalled the look in her eyes. They were full of uncertainty and that

was something he had not seen before. Her bravado and smart mouth had coveredup a multitude of insecurities and he had made it his mission, his goal to break thatbarrier down so she could become who she was truly meant to be. And now that hehad gotten a glimpse of the “new” Claire, he liked what he saw…someone who was

witty, and quick thinking, and vulnerable. Now, Peter thought to himself as he looked at the porch, if I could just keep

her that way…and keep her away from her ex-husband.

*

Inside her mother’s house, Claire sat at the kitchen table with her goodfriend Jess. They had been high school acquaintances, both being on the newspaperand year book staff together, but their friendship didn’t really begin until Jess hadmoved back to town and had gotten reacquainted with Claire’s mother.

Jess was expecting their second child, another girl. Their first daughter had

died the previous year in a car accident and they had moved back to Jess’ hometown in hopes that it would help her reconnect to people. And indeed it had.David, her husband was able to work as a doctor at the local hospital. Finding outthey were expecting so soon after Emily death had been hard. But now, Jess foundit to be a blessing.



- 30 -

Unfortunately Jess and Lydia had not had long together because soon aftertheir initial meeting, when Jess had come to visit Lydia, she found her on thekitchen floor, having suffered a stroke.

Lydia had never regained consciousness and it had been a difficult time. At first Claire was jealous of the quick and close relationship Jess and

shared with her mother, but finally Claire realized Jess wasn’t the problem, it washer. And that had been the start of a solid friendship.Filling their tea cups, Jess sat stunned at what Claire had told her.Resting her hands across her very pregnant body, she asked Claire, “Are

you sure? I mean really, really sure? The attorney wasn’t just teasing you?” Jessasked for the umpteenth time.

“That’s what the man said, Jess. He said that my parents had over twomillion dollars. I can’t believe it.”

“Me either,” Jess agreed. “What are you going to do? Are you going to tell

Tony?” Jess had heard enough about Tony from Lydia, Peter and Claire to know

that he was not the best match for Claire. But being a female and knowing thepower of first love, she also knew Claire was wavering. Tony was familiar, even if he was a scoundrel.

“How can I not, Jess?” Claire said sounding desperate. “He knowssomething is up. I’m just afraid that if I tell him, well, he’s just going to take me forthe money.”

“Well, Claire,” Jess said trying to help her understand, “you don’t owe him

anything. You told me you divorced him because he was a womanizer and how hetreated you. He never kept a job and expected you to support him while he wentand had fun. Do you really want to get back into that?”

“But couldn’t it be different now?” Claire asked wanting her friend to tellher the truth but then also afraid that she would.

Jess reached across the table and took Claire’s hands, “Claire, let me ask youone question, okay?”

Claire looked at Jess, knowing she was just trying to help. “Sure,” Claire

agreed, “Shoot.” Taking a deep breath, Jess asked Claire one question, then that question ledto another and another after that. All Claire had to say was yes, or no. And after a

while it became apparent that Claire knew the truth. She knew Tony for what he was; she just didn’t want to admit it. And after Jess asked each question, in hermind, Claire thought I wouldn’t give the same answer if she asked me this about Peter .

*

Nora cried as she sat in Hetty’s office. “Oh, I don’t know what Iexpected,” she sniffed. “I’ve just never seen that look in Harold’s eyes. He wasbeyond mad. I really believe that if he could have, he would have strangled me,honest.”



- 31 -

Alarmed at what Nora was saying, Hetty said a silent prayer thanking Godfor bringing Nora to the Guardian Home where she would be safe.

“Nora,” Hetty began, “this is serious. You should never ignore threats andbecause of your situation, I think you should file a formal complaint with thepolice.”

“Oh, goodness, Hetty,” Nora wiping her eyes, immediately discounted thenotion, “I can’t do that.”“And just why not?” Hetty demanded. “If anyone ever told me that I

would “live to regret” something, then that’s a threat and it deserves to be treated asone.”

“He’s all talk,” Nora promised.“That’s not how you felt when you rushed into this room earlier. You were

genuinely frightened and you have every right to be, Nora. Don’t let this pass.”“Hetty,” Nora said with a sigh of resignation, “I have no money; I have no

home, I have no family that I can go to for help. My children have turned againstme, and now my husband is telling me I’ll regret that I’ve left him. If I go to thepolice with that, honestly,” Nora shook her head and looked at Hetty, “what arethey going to think except that I’m a vengeful old woman, who is trying to stir uptrouble.”

“You need to make the first move, Nora, before he does anything. At leastthere will then be formal documentation.”

“No,” Nora said firmly, “I just want to forget the whole thing.”“Are you going to file for divorce?” Hetty asked.

“No, I’m not. I have no money and I don’t see that getting a divorce woulddo me any good because I certainly do not have any desire to have anotherrelationship with a man. No, if Harold wants a divorce, then he is going to have tobe the one to file.”

“What about the financial situation. You said that he had gambled and hadlost all the money that had been saved.”

“I don’t want any part of it, anyway,” Nora said with a tired voice. “I’ll justhave to figure something out.”

“Well,” Hetty said as came around the desk toward Nora, “you have ahome here and a job here and can stay as long as you want.” Tears streamed down Nora’s face. “I don’t know what I would have done if

it hadn’t been for you.”

*

At the Friday night youth gathering, Peter told the youth of his plan. “Wehave been presented with an opportunity to help in our community and I’d like as

many of you as can, to come back to church around three o’clock tomorrow afternoon so we can form a Mission Committee.” Instantly a the room broke out inconversations



- 32 -

“And…” Peter said loudly. “And remember,” he said even louder, “I’mnot talking about going to Africa or even Mexico. This is about serving ourcommunity in an organized, regular, on-going fashion.”

Rendon Walker, one of the high school seniors, spoke up, “But what kindof service projects are you talking about?” he asked.

“That’s what we’re going to go over. I’ve got some ideas, but I want inputfrom each of you.” Then a hum of low conversations saturated the room and Peter just let it

go. He wanted some ideas and discussions to take place between the kids before hesaid anything about specific plans. He didn’t want to squelch their creative minds.He smiled to himself and some of these kids are really creative!

“Okay, that’s enough for now,” Peter said after a short while. “You canmeet before you get here and bring ideas with you or just be here at three. But theimportant thing I want you to remember is that there is a place for each and every

one of you and if you don’t step up, well,” Peter paused, “there will be things thatdon’t get done.”

That caused another stir of conversation and it took another ten minutesfor Peter to get the class quieted and for the class to begin.



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Chapter 5

“So you see, Anna Jo,” Mrs. Putnam said to her, “this is an opportunity to

grow, spiritually, physically and emotionally.”“Oh, now that makes it sound like fun,” Anna Jo said with a chuckle,

rolling her eyes.Hetty smiled, “You know what I mean,” she said as she again hugged the

young girl. “You have always met life head on and have been dealt some pretty hard blows.”

“Well,” Anna Jo said, “I sure pity the angel that has to watch over me,because that must be some fulltime job.”

Then Anna Jo thought for a moment. “And if they are protecting me,”

Anna Jo shook her head, “I’d hate to see what my life would be like with out them!”

*

Claire and Jess sat on the porch listing to the sounds of the children in thepark, sipping Earl Grey tea.

“You know,” Claire started, breaking the comfortable silence.“We should probably switch to Green Tea or something.”

Jess began laughing and shaking her head, “I can’t believe you. Here I wasthinking you were enjoying the sounds of the children playing and feeling the lightbreeze on your face, just like I was, and you’re thinking about the tea we’re drinking.Honestly, Claire,” Jess said looking at her, “you’re a piece of work.”

“Well,” Claire said with a smile, “I’ve been told that by better people thanyou.”

“Oh yeah, like who?” Jess asked.“Peter,” Claire responded.“Well, he should know,” Jess agreed.

Silence fell between them again and as they watched the park they saw agroup of teens round the corner on one of the trails that led toward them.

Their antics were hilarious as they pushed and shoved and raced oneanother. The sound of teasing and squeals were easily heard.

Then Claire spotted a familiar body. Much larger than the rest, but having equally as much fun was Peter. She had not often had the opportunity to see him inaction with his youth group. She had heard stories from her mother and Jess and afew others from church. And from the looks of it, they were all correct…he had a

way with the young kids that few could have. He was a mentor, teacher and friend.

“So,” Jess said as she finally recognized Peter, “look who’s coming.”Claire smiled, “I know, I’ve been watching.”

As the group headed their direction, suddenly Peter broke out into a run,surprising the rest of the group and issuing a challenge to see who could make itfirst to the Hamilton Home.



- 34 -

When Claire and Jess realized what was going on they both began to laugh, watching the group jockey for position, and clearly Peter was not going to win.

Four of the senior boys from the track team soon left the rest of the grouptrailing far behind and the competition was on.

As two of the boys vied for first, one boy finally made a dash to the house,

took the steps three at a time and grabbed the post closest to Claire.“Yeah! I won!!!” the boy screamed in a deep voice.Quickly on his heels came the other three, hooting and hollering and the

porch soon became filled with out of breath teenagers, gulping in air and laughter.Surrounded by the teens, Claire stood to see where Peter had gone and as

he walked toward the porch, she gave him an inquisitive look.Peter answered her look with a resounding, booming voice, “But many who

are first will be last, and the last first. Mark 10:31!” he yelled.“Aw, no fair, Peter!” yelled, Cooper, the boy who had come in first. “You

can’t pull scripture on this.”“I can and just did!” Peter challenged as he made his way upon the porch.

“Who can answer my scripture?”“I Corinthians 9:24,” yelled Rendon, “Do you not know that in a race all

the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize,”he responded out of breath.

“Good job, Rendon, that was a surprise,” Peter smiled affectionately hitting him on the arm.”

“Who has an answer to that one?” Peter asked.

Claire and Jess and gone into the house and brought back an armload of bottled waters for the crew.

Peter’s challenge was met with murmurs, but no one spoke up.“Hebrews 12:1,” Peter called out, turning, looking to see if anyone knew it.

When no one answered he continued, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by sucha great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin thatso easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

“No fair,” the kids all said in unison. “You have the Bible memorized.”

Peter laughed and good naturedly patted another youth on the shoulder,“Not quite,” he admitted, “but it’s one of my goals.”“Really?” Claire asked in disbelief. “You want to memorize the whole

Bible?”“Well, I’m about a quarter of the way through the New Testament now, so

we’ll see.”“Hmm,” Claire said, “learn something everyday.”Peter was glad that Claire was at home and even more pleased that he had

surprised her.

“So what’s up?” Jess asked. “It looks as if you’ve got a goal in mind orsomething. Surely this isn’t just a friendly house call,” she teased.

“You’re right,” Peter admitted. “I had hoped that the two of you would behere because I’ve got a proposition for you.”



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“Oh, really,” Claire said with a haughty look and then laughed. “And just what might that be?” she asked.

“We’re heading over to the Guardian Home and wanted both of you tocome with us.”

“Why?” Claire asked unable to get the connection between her, Jess, the

youth group and Guardian Home.“Come with us and I’ll explain it all on the way over,” Peter said.Claire and Jess exchanged looks, and then shrugged their shoulders, “Why

not,” said Claire. “Just let me get my shoes on and we’ll drive over there.”“Uh, no you don’t,” Peter countered. “You’re walking over to the church

with us, and then we’re all going to the home in the church bus.”“Well,” said Claire with a surrendering look to Jess, “it looks like we don’t

have much of a choice, do Jess?”“No, I don’t think so,” Jess agreed. “I guess I can waddle over there with

you,” Jess said smiling and patting her huge belly. “And besides, David is working at the hospital late tonight, so I’m not in a rush to get home.”

As the group made their way across the park, Tony pulled up into Claire’sdriveway, just in time to see the group round the corner and disappear out of sight.He was positive that he had spotted Claire among them. Anger and impatiencebubbled over as he hit his fist against the steering wheel.

*Brushing her hands on her jeans, Nora stood up and then putting her hands

on her back, she stretched, trying to loosen the tighten muscles.I had no idea I was so out of shape, Nora thought to herself as she moved side

to side. There’s more work here than I thought she conceded, surveying the small area shehad just weeded, hoed and raked.

“If it’s too much for you,” Mr. Henley said as he walked up, “then don’t worry about it. I can handle it. I’ve been doing it for years and don’t feel I need allthat much help anyway. So don’t you never you mind if you just want to call itquits.”

So Nora thought to herself, Hetty was right. Mr. Henley is upset and jealous that I’m here taking over what he sees as “his” domain. As kindly as she could, Nora tried to make her position clear. “Thank you

for your concern, Mr. Henley, but I’ll get used to it. I love to garden and this is suchrich, deep soil that it’ll be a pleasure to work in.”

“Well, gardening is hard work and if you’re gonna to grow more than what’s out here already, well,” he hesitated and then stated firmly, “it’s gonna be upto you to do the work. I don’t have time to.”

“Oh I know, Mr. Henley,” Nora assured him. “I’m just here to help with

the gardening and cooking. So you don’t have to worry about me.”“I was gonna get to this bed next week, it’s just that maintaining this place

is more than a full time job but I can handle it. I just don’t have any time to try andtrain somebody on what to do.”



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“Oh, I’m not looking to make your job harder, Mr. Henley. In fact I’m justtrying to make it a little easier.” Suddenly realizing that maybe she had said the

wrong thing and would make him feel that he might be replaced, she quickly added.“No one could have done as much as you have for as long as you’ve done it. That’s

what Mrs. Putnam said.”

At that Mr. Henley’s bristles went down a bit. Nora continued, “In factyou’re the reason I’m here. She doesn’t want to lose you and with so much to do,she said it was important for you to stay doing the big stuff and that I would just dothe garden here.”

“Well,” he agreed, “she’s right. I’ve got more fish to fry than I’d care toadmit, so you just go on about your own business, and I’ll go about mine.”

With that said, Mr. Henley walked off toward the barn and Nora let out abig sigh.

As she turned back to her garden, she heard the singing long before she saw

the bus coming up the driveway.

*

“Now remember,” Peter yelled over the loud engine of the bus as he droveit into the parking lot at Guardian Home. “Be on your best behavior. This is a big deal, okay?” he said trying to stress the importance of this visit. “We’re going to betalking about a way to help others in our community. And if can get it all workedout, if it can work like I think it can, we can change lives.”

Peter parked the bus, turned the engine off and stood up facing the youth who had quieted down as he stood. “Service is the action of helping others, but thebiggest change that occurs is the change that happens in you.”

The bus quieted as everyone began to think about what Peter had just toldthem.

“Service,” Peter continued, “is becoming God’s hands and feet and heart. We’re to be Jesus in action.”

Reaching for the manila envelop he brought with him, Peter handed each

person a laminated card. On one side was the scripture reference 2nd

John 1:6, andon the other side was an acronym he had written:

Seek those in needE very day provides a way to serve our Lord.R ise to the challenge that comes before you

V enture out of your comfort zoneEarnestly pray for God’s will to work through you

After Peter was sure that everyone had read what was written on the cardhe said, “Rendon, will you lead us in a word of prayer?”

When Rendon finished, everyone stood up and headed out the bus doors.Claire was among the first to get off, but she waited for Peter who was the

last to get off.



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“That was good,” she complimented him. “Really,” she smiled, “this is thefirst day I’ve ever been around you when there are kids around and you’re really good with them.”

Peter soaked up her words. He didn’t want to spoil her heartfelt words with smart cracks, so he simply smiled and said, “Thanks, coming from you that

means a lot.”



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Chapter 6

Anna Jo watched as the bus pulled up into the parking lot. She had

expected everyone to spill out immediately, but for some reason, there was noactivity. Weird she thought, they’re probably telling them not to act like they feel sorry for us ,

Anna Jo thought with disdain. I hate it when people come to help. Help the orphans, the poor little orphans, the phrase echoed in her head. Ugh! How frustrating. Who says we need helpanyway? She wondered.

Mrs. Putnam had called all the kids together and had told them that a groupof teens from a local church would be coming by. They were coming because they

were starting a local mission program and wanted to involve Guardian Home. Anna Jo was not pleased. At sixteen and having spent her last six years

here, she had seen most every type of do-gooder come through, and she was notlooking forward to another group.

“Mrs. Putnam?” Anna Jo had asked.“Yes, Anna Jo?” she replied, knowing what the question was going to be

before it was even asked.“Do they really have to come here? I mean, we’re doing okay and it’s

always so awkward when groups come here.”“It is not!” Nine year old Bobby yelled out. “I like it. I like for other kids

to want to be around me.”Mrs. Putnam didn’t need to answer Anna Jo’s question, the other kids had

answered it for her. Anna Jo glared at Bobby. He was one of the newest kids to arrive at

Guardian Home and was eager for any and all attention he could get. Yeah, and they’ll make fun of you when they leave and go back to their perfect homes, behind their perfect walls to their perfect parents. Or worse, Anna Jo thought, remembering an incident thatstill haunted her, they’ll pity you to you face…been there, seen that, didn’t like it, wouldn’t recommend it, saying the riddle in her head Anna Jo believed every word of it. But she

knew better than to say such feelings out loud.Now as Anna Jo watched the group unload, she continued to think of ways

she could avoid having to come in contact with them. But then she thought aboutsome of the younger kids. I don’t want them to get hurt. These people have no idea what it’s like to have people show up once, twice, maybe even three times and just when you start connecting to on of them – they stop coming. They stop caring. And your heart gets ripped to pieces one more time.

Remembering the pain that she had suffered at feeling abandoned by do-gooders because they never lasted, Anna Jo jumped off the bed and quickly ran

down the hall, then down the stairs, she wanted to spare the younger kids the hurtshe had felt. As she reached the last step she stopped.

The kids from the home had already gathered around the group from thebus and everyone was on the front porch, talking and laughing. Mrs. Putnam and



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some man stood off to one side talking, and then he followed Mrs. Putnam to heroffice.

Anna Jo noticed the two women, standing by the columns on the frontporch, but other than that, it was teenagers. Typical group she thought, two women herding kids to try and do good for others.

But much to Anna Jo’s surprise, the women stayed in the background andone of the older boys asked the kids to follow him out into the yard to play gamesand then talk to them about something important.

As all the kids followed the group down the porch steps, the lead boy waited until last. Then he turned and saw Anna Jo still standing inside the house atthe bottom of the stairs. Boldly he came through the doorway and asked, “Aren’tyou coming?”

“No.”“You care to tell me why?” he asked as he slowly walked toward her.

“No.”“So…” Rendon said not sure what he should say next, but felt that he

should encourage her to be a part of the activity, “is there a problem or something?” Anna Jo crossed her arms across her chest, and with a defiant look, curtly

said, “Yes.”“Can you say more than just one word at a time?” he asked hoping to

maybe bring a little humor into their verbal exchange, because it certainly wasn’t aconversation.

“Why?”

Brother Rendon thought to himself, and then said aloud without really meaning to, “What’s your problem?”

“You!” Anna Jo turned on her heal and stomped up the stairs, heading back to bedroom she shared with four other girls.

“Hey,” Rendon called out, quickly making his way to the stairs.“Wait,” he called, taking the stairs two at a time to catch up to her quick

retreat up the stairs. “What do you mean I’m the problem? You don’t even know me.”

Anna Jo wheeled around catching Rendon by surprise. He had expectedher to continue up the stairs so he had a momentum going, but when she stoppedand turned around he ran right into her, knocking her off balance.

Trying to regain his own balance, he grabbed a hold of her and in herpulling back they both tumbled down the stairs.

At the sound of the commotion, Peter and Mrs. Putnam ran out of heroffice into the foyer where Rendon and Anna Jo laid in a heap. Quickly reaching the pair, Peter grabbed Rendon, “What’s going on here?”

Trying to get his bearings, Rendon looked at Anna Jo and asked, “Are you

okay?”Rubbing her neck with one hand and her knee with the other she said,

“Yeah, I guess so. What in the heck were you doing anyway?” she said withirritation.



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Peter and Hetty kept silent. Hetty had learned from years of practice withteens that it was better to let them speak first and get whatever they had to say off their chest. Then, she would dialog with them…with her getting the last word in.Fortunately Peter followed her cue and waited for her to ask the next question.Obviously his question was not going to get answered anytime too soon.

“Well, if you hadn’t of stopped, I wouldn’t have run into you,” Rendon saiddefensively.“Well, if you had just gone on about your own business, none of this would

have happened,” Anna Jo retorted.“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have…why was I running up the stairs after

you?” Rendon asked looking up at her. Anna Jo stood up, a little wobbly but with nothing broken, she looked

down at Rendon, “I told you the problem I had was…you!” And with that, Anna Jo turned and walked back up the stairs to her bedroom.

This time no one followed her.

*

“Please try to understand,” Hetty said as she, Peter and Rendon took seatsin her office. “Anna Jo has had a very tough life. And one thing she cannot abide ispity. When she first came here, six years ago, we had several groups that were

visiting the home on a relative consistent basis. Anna Jo got close to one of theyoung girls, but then after several months, the girl never returned. Anna Jo took it

pretty hard and trying to explain to a ten year old that those things happen is pretty hard, but what is even harder is learning to accept it.”

Peter and Rendon looked at each other. “We’re not here because we pity anyone,” Rendon spoke up. “We’re here to enlist their help to help us help others.”

Hetty smiled, “I know that Rendon, and I tried to explain that to Anna Jo,but she’s in a bit of a difficult place right now. I know this would be a greatprogram for her and she’s one of the reasons I called Peter. The kids that comehere are here because they really have no place else to go.”

Rendon let that thought sink in, No place else to go, man, that’s tough he thoughtto himself trying to imagine that feeling.“Children come to us because their guardian, whether it’s a parent or

grandparent, can no longer care for them because of a physical, financial, oremotional need. And we bring these kids in here and give them a stableenvironment, good food at regular meal times, a safe place to sleep and surroundthem with adults who care about them.”

“What’s her story?” Rendon asked.“I’m sorry, that’s private information. If Anna Jo wants you to know her

history, then it’s up to her to tell it.”“No, I’m sorry for asking,” Rendon quickly apologized. “I was just

wondering what made her so…so walled off.”Instantly Peter thought of Claire and how she was walled off. She had had

a secure home, food on the table, both parents around her. But it still wasn’t a



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happy childhood. Her mother obsessed over a child that died and her fathermanipulated her into thinking that only he cared for her, when in reality both of them loved her. They just never gave her what she needed…an unconditional love

with no strings attached.Rendon sat stunned. He knew there were kids that hadn’t had a good

childhood. He had friends who had trouble at home, some with really strict parentsand others whose parents didn’t keep close tabs on them, but at least the parentshadn’t shipped them off someplace.

“Rendon,” Mrs. Putnam said getting his attention, “please don’tmisunderstand. This is the best place that Anna Jo could have come to. We caredeeply for her and our goal is that she will go on to lead a normal healthy happy life.But right now, she still has some issues facing her that she’s dealing with.”

*

Nora watched as the kids all joined together in the yard. Mr. Henley hadmowed and all the kids had helped straighten up the yard, so that it looked its very best before the youth group arrived.

Surprised at recognizing Jess and Claire, Nora made her way over to them.“What a small world,” she said walking up to the pair.“Oh, hi Nora,” Jess said giving her a big hug. “I didn’t know you were

back in town.”“It hasn’t been long,” Nora assured her. Then she turned to Claire. Claire

wasn’t as huggable as Jess, so she extended her hand, and Claire took it relieved nothaving been forced into an awkward embrace.

“How are things at church?” Nora asked.“Good,” jess exclaimed. “That’s why were out here. Peter and several of

the youth brainstormed and came up with a plan to involve the youth here in a jointministry.”

“Oh, yes,” Nora recalled, “Hetty and I talked about that earlier. I justdidn’t realize it was going to take place so soon.”

“Well, Peter is not one to let any grass grow under foot,” Jess said.Claire listened as Jess went on to explain the plan to Nora and what all would be involved. When talking about Peter, she made it sound so intimate, likehe was her best friend, and Claire envied that. She wished she could talk to othersas easily as Jess did, but she just couldn’t, never had and never would, but that didn’tstop her from wanting it.What wouldn’t I give to be able to talk freely with people like Jess, or to have such a giving heart like Peter?

Again Tony popped into her head and she realized that his ability to talk

easily began and ended with women, and she could never remember a time when Tony had done anything remotely considered as altruistic , no that is not Tony. With Tony, it was all about Tony.

“Is that right, Claire?” Jess asked



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“I’m sorry,” Claire said, “I was caught up in my own little world. What didyou ask?”

Before Jess could repeat her question, the youth broke out in acappellasong, ending any conversation, because no one wanted to miss their sweet soundsof harmony.

*

Peter, Rendon and Mrs. Putnam stopped talking when they heard thesinging.

Mrs. Putnam leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and listened as thesound filtered in through the windows.

Peter smiled as he remembered the smells of food coming out of the homejust a few days ago. What a give and take life is Peter thought. Letting that thought

roll around in his head, he missed the first of the conversation between Rendon andHetty.

“Please,” he asked. “I promise I won’t say anything to upset her. I just hateit that she’s up there, when everyone else is down here.”

“I know,” Mrs. Putnam agreed. Praying that maybe a link could be forgedbetween the two, she decided to go talk to Anna Jo and see if she couldn’t get her tocome down for a while. “Give me a moment, okay?” she asked turning to Peter.

“Uh, sure, whatever,” Peter said, not sure what he was agreeing to but itseemed the right thing to say, and looking over at Rendon, he seemed in total

agreement. As Hetty left the room, Peter turned to Rendon and asked, “What’s she

going to do?”



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- 45 -

Chapter 7

Knocking softly on Anna Jo’s bedroom door, Hetty asked, “Anna Jo, may I

come in?” After a brief pause, “Sure,” came the muffled reply. Anna Jo laid face down on her bed by the window, listening to the songs

the kids were singing out in the yard.Mrs. Putnam came and sat on the edge of the bed, putting her hand on

Anna Jo’s back, patting her, and then stroking her long brown hair.“Anna Jo, sweetheart,” Hetty sighed. This was the hardest part. When you

begin to feel again after having closed yourself off for year upon year, every emotionis so raw and open, everything whether good or bad, it is felt to the core. And

finally now that Anna Jo had been making strides of breaking out of her shell, shebegan to want things that she had forgotten she wanted…like a home to call yourown, a mother to love you unconditionally, like a friend that would never leave.

“Rendon is asking for you,” Hetty said softly.“Who?” Anna Jo questioned, not knowing who that could be.“The boy you met on the stairs a bit ago. He’s concerned and has asked if

you’d come back down.”“Why?” Anna Jo asked turning over on her side facing Hetty. “Why should

he care?”“Well, Anna Jo, obviously you’ve made an impression on him.”“Uh, yeah, like where our heads collided.”Mrs. Putnam chuckled, “I think it goes a little beyond that.”“Mrs. P I don’t want to go down there. Really I don’t. There’s nothing I

have to say to him.”“Well, have you thought that maybe he has something to say to you?” she

asked.“Like what?” Anna Jo asked truly unable to fathom why he would want to

see her again, especially after such an awkward beginning.“You’ll never know unless you go down there and ask, will you?”

Anna Jo continued to lay there, unable to make up her mind. She knew that Mrs.P would not force her to go back down. She knew the decision would be left up toher. And it was at times like this she wished the decision would be made for her.

That way she would have no regrets one way or the other. It would be someoneelse’s fault if things went bad. But that’s not how Mrs. P handled things. Everyone

was personally responsible for their decisions. Finally feeling that nothing ventured,

nothing gained Anna Jo relented.“Fine,” she replied without any enthusiasm whatsoever. Sitting up and

grabbing another tissue she informed Mrs. Putnam, “but if he starts off on anything even remotely condescending, I’m out of there.”

Putting her hands up in surrender, “Fair deal,” Mrs. Putnam agreed.



- 46 -

“Wash your face and I’ll tell him you’ll be down in a little bit.”Oh sure, thought Anna Jo, you’ll tell me what to do about stupid stuff like I wouldn’t

do it anyway, but the big stuff, oh no, Mrs. P, your silence reigns

*

Claire, Peter and Jess sat with Nora and Hetty around a table under one of the large oak trees in the yard and listened as the youth from church taught thechildren from the home new songs. Some of them were goofy and had everyonelaughing and then within a moment or two, they would be singing The Old RuggedCross.

“So, Peter,” Hetty had to ask, “how do you think it’s going? Do you think our two groups will be able to join together and create a program for a community outreach service?”

Peter smiled. “I think it’s a definite possibility and I think our timing isperfect.”

“Really?” Claire asked, “Why do you say that?”“Well, I think we have the right mix of kids that can pull it off. I mean, it’s

not going to be a cake walk or anything, but I think there are enough kids with theright attitude that will get this kicked off in the right direction.”

“And who do you see doing that?” Jess asked.Looking at Hetty, Peter replied, “Two of the main ones are in the house

talking right now.”

*

“So, let me get this straight,” Anna Jo said trying to get a grasp of theconcept Rendon had explained. “Between your youth group and the kids that livehere at the home, we’re going to go out into the community and find people thatneed help, and we’re going to help them?”

“Right,” Rendon nodded, “You’ve got it.”

“And we’re going to do things like, drive older folks to the grocery store, orto get their hair fixed. And we’re going to do it on a regular basis, making acommitment to the family or an individual.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Rendon said proudly. “We’re going to commit as a group,so that if someone can’t follow through with an assignment then there will besomeone else to take up the slack.”

“And the younger kids are going to help, too.”“Yeah, they’ll help clean or just talk to the people. For them, it’s not so

much that they have to do a big thorough job of cleaning or anything, but they just

have to be there, talking. Older folks love to talk to kids, and a lot of the time thefeeling is mutual.”

“Do you realize the liability you’re getting the church and the home into?”



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“What do you mean? We’re just providing services for people who don’thave any.” Rendon said, “We’re doing family stuff for people that don’t havefamily.”

“But they’re NOT family, that’s just it. Legally if anything should happento one of them when you’re driving them to the store or something, the church or

even your parents could be sued.”“Oh, they wouldn’t do that,” Rendon scoffed at her exaggeration of thesituation.

“Rendon, your idea is commendable, really, it is. It’s better than what Ithought it was going to be, but,” Anna Jo hesitated, not knowing just how to tellhim with out being rude, “it’s not going to work. Not the way you’ve told me.

There are too many risks involved. Risks that a lot of people are not going to be willing to take.”

Rendon’s head dropped slightly, “Man, you really know how to knock the

wind out from under a guy don’t you?” Anna Jo smiled, “Yeah, maybe, but I know I know how to knock a guy

down the stairs.”Both of them laughed at Anna Jo’s remark then began to put their heads

together, thinking of ways where they could provide services for individuals but where the risk would be minimal.

By the time they saw the group heading up the front steps of GuardianHome, Rendon and Anna Jo had written a plan and a way to start off slow, but onethat could be built onto. It was a solid plan that could grow as the group and

activities grew. And it was the exact type of plan that Peter and Hetty had discussed.

*

Sitting on the porch, drinking hot chocolate, Claire and Peter discuss theevents of the outing to Guardian Home.

“That was fun,” Peter said, rocking slowly beside Claire. Sitting on the

porch was such a comfortable time for him. Since Lydia had died, he didn’t haveregular Tuesday’s here, but he did get back as often as he could, but he was notinvited as often as he would have liked.

Claire nodded. “I’m really surprised.”“About what?” Peter asked.“The kids, I mean they all seemed so eager to get this service thing going.

You’d think they’d want to do things with their friends outside of church.”“Well, usually they bring their friends to church, and then it becomes a

thing for them to do with their friends. We’ve got some of our most active kids

graduating this year and that’s really going to change the dynamics of the group.”Claire looked at Peter, “Why would that happen?”“Well, Rendon, Cooper, Jared, Lindsey and Carol are all seniors and they’ll

be gone next year. I’m really trying to get them to involve the younger ones, to helpthem to step up and take on leadership roles.” Peter told her.



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“But the main problem I have right now is trying to get adults involved insupervising some of these activities. Everyone is so busy with they’re own thing, it’ssometimes hard to get them out of their comfort zone and work with kids.”

Peter continued, “My goal is to get some of the single adults and parentsthat are not normally involved in doing things with us, and I just see this as the

perfect opportunity for all the adults to get closer to the youth.”Claire understood what Peter was wanting from them, but she also couldunderstand their feelings. She knew she would have no idea how to work with thekids and wasn’t sure she wanted to. Give her adults and numbers and she would

work with that, but kids…it just wasn’t her thing.Heavily Peter signed, “But I’m going to stay in the background as much as

possible on this. I really want the youth group to take ownership of it.”“Well, good luck, Peter. That sure sounds like a pretty tall order for kids.”“Hey, these aren’t just kids, they’re our future. And if we don’t get them

involved in something on a local level, how in the world will they be able tomeaningfully contribute to the society at large, serving others and getting into actionbeyond their personal motives?”

“Goodness,” Claire said a bit surprised, “uh, this is sounding like asoapbox.”

Peter shook his head, “Sorry, I just get so tired of hearing people say thingsabout the state we’re in, but they’re not doing one thing about it. At least I’m trying to make a change by helping kids see beyond their own selfish wants.”

“Again I say, good luck Peter, because you’re sure going to need it.”

“Oh, I know. But if I can get some adults involved, I just know it’ll work.”“Yeah, well, it may be an uphill battle,” Claire said.Peter looked at Claire. “Not if I can get people like you and Jess involved.”“Oh brother, I just knew it,” Claire said leaning forward in her rocking

chair. “I just knew you were going to try and get me mixed up in all this.”Shaking her head, “No,” Claire told resolutely, “this is NOT my kind of

thing. I’m not good with kids; much less teenagers and I sure don’t know anything about…”

“Yes you do,” Peter told her, stopping her mid sentence. “We’re in need of organizational skills; someone who can juggle several things at one time and knowshow to keep financial records. We need someone who has the ability to get thingsdone.” Peter smiled, “And I know you’re all of those things.”

“And just how do you know that?” Claire asked.“I can just tell,” Peter nodded. “You just have that “no-nonsense, take

charge, Katie-bar-the-door type of attitude that keeps things in line.”“Uh, thank you for the compliment, I think…but really, I have a job and

I’m quite happy as is.”

“Really?” Peter asked. “Are you really happy, Claire?”He waited and let that sink in before he asked his final question, “Are you

getting the satisfaction and fulfillment that you want out of life? Are you ascontented as you thought you’d be by now?”



- 49 -

Stopping her cold, Claire had no response, no flippant comment, no quick comeback, and that was exactly what Peter had hoped for.

“Think about it, okay?” Peter asked, getting up from his chair, setting themug on the table between them.

“Just think about it.”

Claire watched him walk down the steps and cross into the park and headoff on the trail that led to his apartment beside the church.Contentment, huh? Claire considered his question, fulfillment? No and I’m not

sure I ever have.

*

Lying on her bed in her small bedroom at the Guardian Home, Nora wasglad that she had opened all the windows so the night breeze would fill the room.

“What a wonderful end to a wonderful day,” Nora said aloud. “Thank youLord for putting me here.”

Working with her hands and seeing the progress that was made in thegarden had done Nora’s heart good. Helping the kitchen staff prepare snacks for allthe kids had been fun, for the conversation between them had been light and easy,and the pace had been unhurried and pleasant.

What a wonderfully feeling to feel needed…and wanted. Lord you have provided beyond my wildest dreams. Never would I have believed that I would be feeling so peaceful at this time.You have, in your perfect timing, provided for all my needs.

Listening to the night sounds, Nora smiled. This was a place to call home. Just as she began to drift off to sleep, she heard the approach of a car on

the driveway. Looking at the clock, she wondered who would come here at this latehour.

Then she heard a car door slam, and the slurred words of a femalescreaming, “Annie Jo? Baby? Are ya here, honey? Annie Jo…you answer me, youhear!”



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Chapter 8

Livid would not accurately describe Hetty’s feelings when she heard what

had occurred the previous night. As dorm parents, Jack and Kay, sat on the couch in Hetty’s office, it was

clear that the weariness of the night’s events had taken a toll on them. Sitting between them, Anna Jo was silent.

Keeping herself calm, especially for Anna Jo’s sake Hetty asked, “And whatdid the police say?”

“They said that we needed to come down to file a restraining order. That way if it occurs again, then she would face additional criminal charges.”

“She’s my mother,” Anna Jo whispered. “Maybe if I hadn’t left, she’d be

better.”Kay put her arm around Anna Jo and patted her, “Anna Jo, we’ve been

over and over this, honey.”“But still,” Anna Jo continued looking at her, “she wasn’t this bad when I

was with her. When I took care of her, she did better.” Tears streamed down Anna Jo’s face anew.

“Anna Jo,” Mrs. Putnam said with authority. When Anna Jo looked up, Hetty’s heart broke. Anna’s left cheek was already turning blue, scratches covered both of her

arms, and there were three cuts on her legs. When the police had arrived, Anna Jo’smother had gone berserk and had grabbed Anna Jo, clinging to her, screaming thatshe’d never leave her baby. When the police tried to pull her off, the women beganto lash out at everyone, including her daughter and she hit her, yelling at her,dragging Anna Jo to the ground, as the police wrestled with her. With a totaldisregard for the harm she was causing her child, the woman bit, hit and kickedeverything within her reach.

Anna Jo had borne the brunt of the injuries and now, as Hetty looked at

those cuts and bruises, the brokenness in Hetty’s heart was replaced with rage, rageat a woman who had hurt an innocent child, and continued to hurt her, andprobably always would.

“Anna Jo, we have discussed many times the situation regarding yourmother, haven’t we?”

“Yes ma’am,” came Anna Jo’s quiet response.“Is it apparent that your mother’s drinking is out of control?” Mrs. Putnam

asked.“Yes ma’am,” Anna Jo replied.

Slowly, saying each word carefully, Mrs. Putnam continued, “Does yourmother have a choice what she does in her life?”

“Yes, ma’am.”“Do you have choices in your life?”“Yes ma’am,”



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“Do you have control over your mother’s drinking?” Mrs. Putnam asked,knowing she was nearing the heart of Anna Jo’s fear.

“If only I…” Anna Jo began.“Anna Jo” Mrs. Putnam quickly stopped her, “what are “if onlys”?”

Anna Jo sat silent. She knew the answer Mrs. P was looking for, but she

just couldn’t say it because it hurt too much.No one in the room moved. No one rushed Anna Jo to answer. No oneanswered for her. Mrs. Putnam knew, and so did the dorm parents, that Anna Johad to come to terms with the fact that she had no control over her mother’sactions. And “if only” are yesterday words and we can change nothing aboutyesterday.

Sitting there silently, Hetty knew that Anna Jo knew the words she waslooking for. It was a conversation they had had on a very regular basis throughout

Anna’s time at Guardian Home. And Hetty was equally aware the saying the words

made things more real and concrete, less easy to run from. The words spun around in Hetty’s mind, Hard as it may seem, and as much as

we believe we can help someone, we truly have absolutely no control or power over what another person does…and in the same respect, they have no control over ours. We are each responsible for the actions we make, thereby, whether good or bad, we reap the consequences of what we do with our lives.

Sitting on the couch between her dorm parents, Anna Jo continued to sit insilence, but they all knew that within her a war was raging. Anna Jo went back inher mind to the day she arrived. She recalled every word and gesture in vivid detail

“Now, sweetheart, everything is going to be fine.” Her mother, Mary,said to her. “You’ll see. This is a real nice place and you’ll have kids your own age to play with and it will be lots of fun, I promise. You’re 10 years old now,

so you’re almost grown.” Anna Jo knew how her mother’s promises were and if she was

promising this was going to be good, well, that meant nothing but bad, of that she was certain.

“Mommy, we’ve done okay, haven’t we? Why do you want me to stay here? “Well, honey, you’re getting older now and things are, well…it’s just best.“It’s not best for me Mommy.” “I want what’s best for you and this is the best place I could find.” “How many did you look at?” “Now, Anna Jo, don’t be a smarty. I’ve heard real good things about

Guardian Home and I just know you’ll love it.” “But Mommy, you won’t be here. What am I supposed to do? I want

to stay with you. You need me. Sometimes you need me real bad.”

As the reality of having to stay in the huge house began to sink in, Anna Jo began to get afraid, just like she did when her mother left her alone to go work, or drink – whichever was more important at the time.

“I promise I won’t whine about being hungry or anything, I promise.I’ll be a good girl. I’ll keep our room cleaner, I will, I promise. Please Mommy,



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please don’t leave me.” “Oh, hush up now, Anna Jo,” Mary scolded her. “Come on, let’s go in.” Climbing the stairs up the front porch of the huge house Anna Jo began

to tremble. She was used to uncertainty, but yet she had had her mother with her. Now she was going to be left alone. And knowing her mother like she did, she was

afraid that her mother just might not come back. Anna Jo was used to being alone for a day or two, usually no more than three, but this felt different. Quickly Anna Jo shook her head, trying to shake the fear out of it.Straightening her skirt and blouse, Mary turned to her child and smiled.“Love ya baby.”

Anna Jo knew that should comfort her, but it was a phrase that she said toeveryone. Anna Jo wanted special words just for her. Words that were meant for her and her alone, but they never came.

Putting on her biggest smile, Mary opened the door and walked in.

Anna Jo trailed behind her slowly.Then, sitting on the big couch beside her mother, it seemed to Anna Jo

that the pretty woman behind the desk was more interested in her than in her mother and that was something totally new. Anna Jo was used to being in

places where people just ignored her, or told her to get lost. She remembered the last time someone looked at her with such kind eyes. It was a teacher she had when she was much younger, but it wasn’t long before her mother wanted to move, so she had to leave the kind eyes behind.

When the pretty woman had asked Anna Jo a question it never entered

her mind to not tell the truth, so she became very confused when her mother slapped her leg and told her she was lying.

“I do too, Mommy,” Anna Jo defended herself. “I take care of you.I wash you up when you get sick and…” that was all Anna Jo was able to get out. The pinch she felt on her leg was enough to remind her that you don’t cross her mother…ever or you get hurt. And some hurts were worse than others.

*

“I just don’t understand, Claire, why are you avoiding me?” Tony asked. The tone in his voice made it clear that he was upset with her, but was trying toremain calm.

“I’m not, Tony, really.”“Then why are you not returning my calls? You said you’d call me and I

haven’t seen or heard from you since you left the attorney’s office. What’s going on, Babe?”

Truly at a loss for words, Claire tried to think of something to say, besides

the truth and was coming up blank.“By your silence,” Tony interjected, “I guess this is the brush off?”“No,” Claire quickly said, then regretted it. Maybe it should be, she thought

but dared not say.



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“Look, Babe, I’m coming over. I’ll be there this evening…that’s today,okay? So don’t make any other plans. Let’s go have a nice meal and we can talk,and let’s just see where things go. I’ll be there around seven.”

Without waiting for an answer, Tony hung up, leaving Claire standing by the wall mounted phone, holding the receiver.

“Sure, Tony,” Claire finally said to the buzzing line. “Come on over and I’lltell you, that your ex-wife is a millionaire…and that leaves you holding….nothing!!!”Slamming the phone receiver down, Claire plopped onto the couch.Peter’s question popped into her mind again, fulfillment? She thought, what’s

that?

*

Man, what a night Peter thought to himself. Why did I ever have to ask Claire if

she felt contented or fulfilled? He quizzed himself as he jogged along the trail at LyndeePark. What is it that makes ME feel contented and fulfilled, he asked himself, feeling very restless and frustrated. I know I’m where I’m supposed to be, working with the kids at church and all, and I thought I knew what I wanted in life. I thought I had it all planned out. So what’s changed? What’s the matter with me?

But as soon as the question came up, he knew the answer. And he knew hedidn’t like the answer, because the answer to his discontent was…Claire. And heeven remembered the moment his heart changed.

Jogging along the trail, Peter’s body went on auto-pilot, he didn’t realize

where he was going or see any of the nature that usually filled him with a sense of wonder and awe at God’s perfect creation.

His mind was seeing Claire, as she had been in the parking lot at thehospital. That day she had run from her mother’s room, with her arms full of folders and her computer. Knowing she was upset about something, he had ranafter her, and found her sitting on the parking lot pavement, leaning against her carcrying, with papers and a broken computer scattered all about her.

She had presented herself as a formidable adversary, all because he and her

mother had a friendship. It was obvious from the beginning that Claire had built walls around herself, but seeing her sitting there in the parking lot, shattered withemotion, his heart broke. And slowly from that point forward, kicking andscreaming he had fallen in love with her.

She presented a challenge that kept him on his toes and he realized that heloved it! He loved having to stay one step ahead of her, her sarcasm he took as dry humor, and that really got to her…and he loved it! He had never encounteredanother woman like her. She was sharp and witty and had the cutest, deepestdimples he had ever seen.

But at times she was a walking contradiction – pushing him away with her words, as he saw the plea for help in her eyes. And when he least expected it, she would share the most insightful, intimate feeling about her past, that made him wantto protect her, to fix all the hurts she had endured and to help her make a futurethat was bright and funny and full of security and love. Good grief! Peter stopped,



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bending over and grabbing his sides, catching his breath, he again asked himself Lord, what am I going to do? What am I supposed to do? I just can’t get her out of my mind! Hmmm, he smiled to himself that should be a song or something.

As he rose up and stretched, he took note of where he was in the park and was surprised at far he had come without realizing it. But she’s so special…and then

he thought of her ex-husband…and she’s getting all confused .On more than one occasion, Peter had asked Claire why Tony was hanging around, but she never gave a straight answer. Her ability to evade a question wasfilled with mastery. Obviously she had learned the art of turning a question around

with another question, then suddenly you found yourself off track and going down adifferent conversation path than you expected, but it was her path you were now on.

And it was because of that very ability of quick retorts that he had been ecstatic, when he had asked her if she content and fulfilled. She was silent. The questionhad stopped her in her tracks and that had been his intent.

Peter had learned that Claire, when truly caught off guard, had no defenses.For all of her bravado, she was the most vulnerable person he had ever known, and

when she became bear and open, there was a soul so deep…he felt himself drowning in the honesty of her.

Slowly walking back to his apartment, Peter continued to think of Claireand knew that somehow he had to make her see just how vital she was to him. Hehad to get her to realize how much he loved her. He had to let her know.

If he could get her thinking about what she wanted out of life, then he feltsure that would open the way for them to talk about their goals and dreams. And

then it would be time to share his dream with her.

*

Nora and Hetty sat outside, away from prying ears. Hetty’s office wasprivate enough, but today it was too confining. Too many emotions were flowing for the four walls to contain.

“I appreciate your effort, Nora, but right now…” Hetty began.

“Maybe I don’t understand everything that’s gone on with Anna Jo, but what I do know is I have been to the depths of despair and have come out on theother side. I have questioned God and screamed “Why me?” and I’ve found thatthat question is never answered quickly, if ever. I’ve been rejected, lied to, used, andI’ve learned that you allow yourself to get hurt. It’s a choice you make. No one canhurt you if you don’t allow them to. And now I have a peace I never thought I

would know.”“I heard you helped out last night when Anna Jo’s mother came, before the

police arrived,” Hetty said, as the swing gently rocked the two women.

“I did,” Nora replied regretfully, “but I just wish I could have stopped that woman before she got to Anna Jo.”

Hetty slowly shook her head, “When I talked to Anna Jo and her dormparents earlier, Anna Jo was very quiet, as you might expect. She and I talked alone



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for a little bit, but she closed down, which is unusual because she and I have shareda very special relationship,” Hetty said.

“Yes, but you don’t like her mother and she knows it,” Nora said flatly.“She and I have spoken many times about her mother, and I’ve always…”“Yes but Hetty, Anna Jo knows everyone hates her mother and that’s a

hard thing to take, knowing someone you care about is hated by others.”“We don’t hate…”“Well, that’s the feeling, so I’m not mincing words. You can say dislike or

whatever, but in the end…the feeling is hate.”Hetty let the comment go, “I’ve been administrator here for years and I’ve

had to deal with a lot of situations similar to this, so this isn’t new to me, Nora, butI’d like a fresh perspective. You said you’ve dealt with similar feelings yourself,

what’s your take on Anna Jo.”Nora waited for a moment before responding to Hetty. Her feelings were

raw and her emotions were brimming at the surface. She had worked hard to stuff them down in order to function. Some days were easier than others. But sceneslike last night brought everything back up and all the feelings of worthlessness,helplessness, anger, fear, and a total sense of loss of control surfaced.

In her minds eye she began to relive last night’s events with events in herown life. “I believe,” Nora said softly, “Anna Jo feels she has no control. Shebelieves she could have helped her mother but because she was taken out of thatsituation, she’ll never know.” I always thought I was helping Harold by not making demands of him or the children, but I wasn’t helping them. Oh why couldn’t I have accepted it back then? I

knew it, I just didn’t want to admit to the trouble we were headed for. Nora turned to Hetty, “Deep down, Anna Jo knows that her mother is sick,

that the drinking has taken control of her, but she doesn’t want to admit it.” Harold has become a slave to his gambling and there is nothing I can do to change him. He has to make the decision to get help; I can’t force that on him.

“Anna Jo is in need of a lot of unconditional love,” Nora said.Hetty sat quietly. She knew Nora was speaking from the depths of her soul

and with all her heart, she believe that she could be the one to help Anna Jo through

this dark time. Hetty agreed.Lord, Nora prayed, I am learning to change the things can change and to accept the things I can’t change…and Lord thank you for the wisdom to know the difference.



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Chapter 9

So where are you? Why aren’t you here? Mrs. P said one of you has been assigned to

me…just me. She said it’s in the Bible that we each have a guardian angel and she believes everything in the Bible and I’m trying, but…I don’t see you doing much! My mom needs help.

Are one of you supposed to help her, too? I thought angels were supposed help. But I don’t think you’re doing anything. Are you there? Can you hear me?

*

“So…” began Tony as he looked at Claire across the dinner table. Theevening had been long and drawn out and Claire was at her wits end as to what or

how much she should tell Tony. For someone who is seldom at a loss for words, you’re sure striking out now, Claire thought to herself. Finally, she sent up a little prayer, begging for guidance.

“You’ve been incredible mysteriously silent about what was said at theattorney’s office. What’s up with that, Babe? You know you can tell me anything.I’m here just to help you.”

“Tony,” Claire began, “we hadn’t talked in months and months untilmother got sick. Why didn’t you contact me before that?”

“Whoa…what do you mean? I thought about you all the time. I was justgiving you space. Then I thought I could be of some help, you know, while she wassick.”

Claire was quiet. Finally Tony broke the silence. “Come on Babe, what’sthe matter? What are you not telling me?”

“Look,” Claire said, rubbing the back of her neck. It was all so exhausting,trying to figure out Tony’s motive because she had seen him “work” in the past andhe always had an agenda. Why am I so afraid to just blurt it out, “Are you here for the

possibility of money or are you here because of me ? “It’s just that right now, I’ve got a lot of

things going on and I…”“And that’s why I’m here, to help you out, Babe,” Tony said reaching

across the table for her hand. “I’m here for you…you just say the word.”“Okay,” Claire said taking a deep breath. Knowing the situation needed to

be faced, she felt that it was now or never and just see how he handled the news.“I got some very interesting news from the attorney.”

Winking at Claire, Tony turned and called out “Waiter! We’d like to see thedessert menu.”

*

Anna Jo and Nora sat on the tree swing, listening to the sounds of thenight. “I always love this time of night,” Anna Jo said.

Surprised, Nora turned to her, “Why?”



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“Because it’s peaceful,” she responded. “And you can’t see everything, it’sall soft and shadowy and you can see only what you want. No matter what badthings that have happened during the day, at night, you can close it all out and justcount stars.”

Anna Jo smiled, “You can spend a long time counting stars and that keeps

other thoughts away.”“Yes it does,” Nora agreed. Anna Jo paused, “When I was little the nights were quiet, at least the first

part of them, because Mommy was usually gone and I had, wherever we were living,all to myself. The days were sometimes pretty hard because, I just never knew whatmood Mommy was going to be in. Sometimes she could be really sweet, but thenother times…” her voice trailed off.

“How old were you during those times?” Nora asked“Oh, I don’t know,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “Age doesn’t have a

time frame for me. Mostly it’s where we lived is how I gage things. We moved a lotand I attended school sporadically. It seems that just as I’d get settled in and start toget close to a friend or teacher, we’d move.”

Sighing heavily, “Usually the move would occur right after Mommy had hada bad fight with a boss or boyfriend. And…” Anna Jo turned to Nora, “now, Idon’t want you to get mad at her, okay?”

Nora understood the fear. Anna Jo loved her mother unconditionally simply because she was her mother, and didn’t know how to separate theresponsibility of her mistreatment from love.”

“It’s okay, I’m listening.” Nora replied.“Well, I sometimes had some pretty bad bruises on me. It seems I always

said the wrong thing,” Anna Jo told her.Looking at Nora, Anna Jo continued, “I know now that I wasn’t

responsible for how she treated me. It was the drinking and drugs that made her actthe way she did.”

“Do you believe that?” Nora questioned.“Yes,” Anna Jo answered, “but you know, sometimes old habits die hard.”

Chuckling Nora patted Anna Jo’s knee, “Yes, indeed I do know THATone.” Anna Jo continued, “I know in my head that there’s nothing I can do to

help her, but in my heart…”“That’s the hardest isn’t it?” Nora answered for her.“Yeah,” she agreed feeling the connection between them growing. “When

she was here last night…that was that a bad scene.”“Yes it was, Anna Jo” Nora confirmed, but she couldn’t leave it at that.

“Yes, it was bad, but do you know who Jack and Kay and I and the police officers

were concerned about. Do you know who we wanted to help?” Anna Jo didn’t respond. She waited…she wanted to hear it from Nora.“It was you, Anna Jo. You were the one we wanted to protect, to help.

You were the one who was our main priority. We wanted you out of harms way…”



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“But my mother needs help, too.” Anna Jo pleaded. “Why am I moreimportant than her?”

“It’s not that you’re more important, Anna Jo. Your mother is important,too. But right now we don’t have the ability to help her. Right now she’s notlooking for help, and you truly can’t help someone until they want that help.”

Nora began to realize she was talking to herself as much as she was to Anna Jo. The truths she was sharing was for them both. “God has put you in our care, Anna Jo. He has brought you to us, and I believe he has brought me here, too.”

“Often,” Nora said as she reached out to Anna Jo, “we have to be broughtto our knees, and that’s when God can work with us best. Then we begin to seethat we really aren’t in control. We make choices in our life, but ultimately we needto recognize that God is the only one in control.”

Trying to take in all that Nora was saying, Anna Jo struggled to sort out herfeelings. She felt so raw, so vulnerable and insecure, but she knew in her heart that

Nora was telling her the truth. Nora was attempting to open her eyes, to help hersee beyond her heart, beyond pain, and beyond fear.

Recognizing that Anna Jo was struggling, Nora decided that it would bebest to change the subject again. Maybe bring things onto a better level.

“So,” Nora asked, “what’s you’re earliest memory?”Eager to switch to the new subject, Anna Jo said with a smile in her voice,

“Oh, that’s easy, but,” she hedged just a bit, “I’m really not sure if it’s true or not,but it’s real. I mean,” she struggled trying to say exactly what she meant, “it seemstrue but somehow it just doesn’t fit into the life I had with my mother.” Wanting to

convince Nora as much as herself she continued, “I have several of these memories,so,” she smiled at Nora, “I consider them true.”

Nora smiled, “I believe you,” she prodded her since Anna Jo seemed to want to reminisce.

“I dreamed,” shaking her head, “no, I remember being in my crib, withsomeone patting my back, humming the sweetest tune. Oh and the smell,” she saidclosing her eyes for a moment, “that should make it true, right?”

Intrigued Nora said, “Oh, I would think so. Smell is a very strong memory

factor.” Anna Jo continued satisfied, “It was, oh I don’t know, a flowery smell orsomething. Not too sweet, but, you know, all fresh and everything.” Wrapping herarms about herself, Anna Jo continued, “When I think of that memory, I just feel all

warm and loved and safe.” Anna Jo was quite for a moment then continued, “At night when Mommy

would go out, I’d close my eyes and pretend I was back in that crib.” Turning toNora, Anna Jo cocked her head to the side, “Silly huh?”

Without hesitation, Nora said, “No, not in the least. What a wonderful

memory to have.”“It is wonderful, isn’t it?”Nora and Anna Jo continued to gently swing, with the stars shining down

on the between the branches of the oak tree.



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“You know, when I came here I was really mad. I would have rather of stayed with my mother, never knowing when we would eat next and always being either too cold or too hot. Those first fee weeks I would have traded everything here, just to get back with her.”

“Why?” Nora asked

“She was my mother and I felt I had to take care of her. She needed me.”“You were so young, Anna Jo.”“Yeah, well, I grew up pretty fast. It’s amazing how resourceful a kid can

be.” As the moonlight reflected off Nora’s face, Anna Jo saw her smile.Nora looked at her, “I bet you were one resourceful kid, too.”

Anna Jo laughed, “Yeah, well I pulled some stunts that I’d never do today.Lie, cheat, steal…the name of the game is survival. Mommy made a game out of itand it was fun for a while, but I began to realize it was wrong and then it wasn’t fun

any more.”“I bet that was tough”“Yeah…” Anna Jo paused, “but she kept making me. She said she needed

me to do it for her. That if I loved her, I’d do what she said.”Remembering some of the conversations she had had with Mrs. P, Anna Jo

told Nora, “Mrs. P says I have a guardian angel looking after me,” she saidthoughtfully, “And there were times that I don’t know how we escaped, except by divine intercession.”

“Really?” Nora asked.

“Yeah, toward the last when Mom started getting into some of the harderdrugs, she hung around some pretty shady characters.”

Looking at Nora, Anna Jo quietly said, “That what I always understoodlove to be…if you want to be loved, then you have to do what the person asked youto do. If you didn’t do it…then you wouldn’t be loved.”

After a moment, Nora asked Anna Jo, “Do you still believe that?” Anna Jo continued to rock with Nora in the tree swing, the question kept

repeating in her head over and over and over.

*

Peter pushed back from his desk. “This will work.” He smiled rubbing hisback, then his neck. “It will work!”

Rendon looked over at him. “I knew it would. That Anna Jo is really smart.”

“And cute too, if I don’t miss my guess.”Rendon smiled, “Yeah, she’s cute.” He hesitated before continuing, but

then decided to talk, “You know, she’s the first girl that’s really gotten my attentionin all long time.”

“Really?” said Peter. He knew that Rendon had sworn off dating because ittook too much time and he had plans and goals. He wanted to go into ministry and



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didn’t want anything distracting from that goal, much to the dismay of all the girls atschool and at church.

“What’s different about her?”Rendon thought about the time they had sat and discussed the idea of

helping others. She became so passionate about reaching out those who needed

help. “Well, she’s just so real, you know?”Peter had to laugh, “Uh yeah, I know.”“Hey,” Rendon turned to him, “have you got your eyes on someone?” he

asked.“Let’s just say that I….” Peter didn’t finish. “No, not really.”“Well,” Rendon continued, “You have this plan all laid out and then

suddenly you see these beautiful big brown eyes staring at you.” He stopped for amoment, then almost in a whisper, “it’s really tough when you get caught off guard.”

Peter chuckled, “You can say that again,” he agreed.Looking at the plan they had outlined, Peter felt so good about it, so excited

that the kids had come up with all the initial ideas. He and Rendon had just neededto work the logistics out, and now that had been done, too. Now there wassomeone he wanted to share the good news with.

“Look,” Peter said gathering up the papers, “let’s go show this to Claire.”“That’s a great idea.” Rendon agreed, “but do you think it’s too late?” he

asked looking at his watch.“Maybe, but I’ll tell you what. Let’s just go by there and if the lights are on,

we’ll bombard her with the plan; otherwise I’ll just get with her later.”“Sounds like a winner to me,” Rendon agreed standing up.“Man, I had no idea that we’d been at this for hours,” Rendon said.“Well, good planning takes time,” Peter told him as he put the papers into

an envelope, “and this is going to be such a great help to the people around here.”“I sure hope so. I just hope they’re open to it.”“They will be, Rendon and the fact that there are so many kids involved, no

one will have to shelter the burden of trying to do it all.”

“Yeah, that’s the great part. I mean if the schedule works out like we’replanning, then we’ll have more than enough time to go and find other people whoneed rides to the doctor, or grocery shopping, or help around the house and yard.”

“And it’s done for free. But sometimes when you have the best of intentions, people will use you, and that’s where we’ll have to be really careful. We

want to help people not enable them.”“Yeah, but that’s a fine line sometimes.”“Yes, it is,” Peter said as they walked out of the church building. “But

don’t worry about that. We’re going to create a committee of adults and that type

of decision will be made by them, as to who gets help, when and how often.”Peter locked the door behind him. ”You want to walk?”“Man, what kick are you on now? Running with me three mornings a week

isn’t enough?” Shaking his head, Rendon looked at Peter, “I’ve seen you running or



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walking every day now and you walk everywhere. What’s up with that?” Rendonasked him with a smile.

“Well, I needed to lose some weight and now that we’ve started thatmorning run, it just feels good to be physical. And I’ve really begun to enjoy thetime walking because it gives me time to unwind and think. It really gives me a

chance to gather my thoughts. And just think about things.” As they headed across the park they continued in friendly conversationfrom sports and cars, to school and church, but before too long, Rendon wouldbring up something about Anna Jo.

Peter just shook his head. They were two peas in a pod. Each had fallenfor a girl that was pretty emotionally walled off, but each knew there was something so special about them.

“Do you want to get married, Peter?” Rendon asked.“Sure, someday,” he answered. “But I’m not in any rush.”

“So how do you think you’ll know? Take Ms. Drake, for instance. She’s areal looker and has a great warped sense of humor,” Rendon said. Then looking atPeter with a puzzled look, “But sometimes I just don’t know how to take her. How about you?”

Peter gave Rendon a sly look, “Now why would you bring her up?”“I’ve seen the way you look at her,” Rendon answered looking straight

ahead at the path they were walking.“And just how is that?” Peter asked.“Oh, I’ve seen you all moony eyed….”

“I DO NOT!” Peter said, giving Rendon a bit of a friendly shove.“No, I’m just kidding,” Rendon laughed. “But I’ve seen the way she looks

at YOU!”“Uh yeah right, Rendon,” Peter dismissed the thought.“No really,” Rendon said firmly. “She’ll look at you all confused like, like

she was trying to figure you out or something. I promise,” he said crossing hisheart.

“Well, let’s just say she’s is a very special lady and I do enjoy her company,

but as of this moment we’re not a “Thing.”“But you’d like there to be, right?”“Hey, are you trying to make a match or something?” Peter laughed.“Well, maybe I could help the plan along a little bit if you wanted me to talk

to her or something.”“Uh, okay, and I’ll talk to Anna Jo about the two of you and….,”“No!” Rendon quickly put the though to rest, “uh, we’ll just do our own

things.”“Good idea,” Peter said settling the chance of any meddling that Rendon

thought he might do. As they neared Claire’s house they saw that the lights were on.“Oh good, she’s home.” Rendon spoke first.



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And Peter was more pleased than he had expected to be. It had beenseveral days since he’d seen her and he didn’t like to go too long between their

visits.Peter and Rendon continued their comfortable conversation about the

Community Mission work they planned. But as they got nearer to the house they

heard yelling. Without thinking, Peter took off running to the house.

*

“Tony, stop please,” Claire begged. She knew she had gotten herself into abad situation and she didn’t know how to get herself out.

“Claire, surely, you can see that we should get married again” Tony saidstroking her hair. “We’re meant for each other.”

“No Tony,” she said pushing his hand away. “No, we’re not.”“What are you scared of Babe?”“I’m not scared, Tony. I just want you to leave me alone,” she shouted.“Are you afraid I’ll take your money away? Are you afraid to share it?” He

asked as he followed her from room to room.Suddenly he grabbed her by the wrist, “Do you think you’re too good for

me?” Swinging her around to face him, he looked at her, almost with a snarl, “Now that you have money, you don’t want me? You wanted me once, Babe, remember?

You weren’t too good for me then,” he put his hands on her shoulders, “and you

know we had a lot of fun together.”“No! Tony, please just leave,” she begged.“Claire, why are you being this way?” he hollered at her frustrated that she

continued to pull away from him.“I just want you to go, okay?” she said, finally getting away from his grasp.

Trying to stay away from him she headed into the living room. He followed her soclose she could almost feel his breath on the back of her neck.

Finally getting angry, he again grabbed her shoulder and pushed her down

on the couch. “”How dare you think you’re too good for me! I got you out of thisstinking town and you came running back to it.”Suddenly realizing that this tactic wasn’t working and he was letting his

frustration get the best of him, he softened. “We can leave this place, Babe. Wecan go anywhere we want. WE can do anything now. Don’t you see, Babe? We’rea match made in heaven.”

“Stop it, Tony,” Claire said trying to get in a position so she could get upoff the couch, but he pulled her back down.

“Stop it!” she yelled. “Let me go!”

“Claire you know that there’s no one like me and there never will be,” hesaid as tried to kiss her.

Claire couldn’t believe what was happening, how Tony was acting. It wasall so strange. He had been such an easy going, free spirit when they were togetherand now he was trying to control her.



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Turning her head so he kissed her cheek, he just chuckled.“Right, Babe?” he said in a deep voice, “you know you love me.”“I HATE it when you call me that!” Claire shouted at him, finally becoming

more angry than scared, she pushed him hard, catching him off guard with the forceof it. “You call every girl that and I’ve always hated it!” Finally able to break free,

she pushed herself off the couch.“Well, I’ll call you any thing you want me to,” he said again right behindher. “Just as soon as we’re married we can both change our names and we can calleach other whatever we want to.”

“Get out, Tony. Leave! Do you hear me?” she screamed.He grabbed her again and this time his fingers dug deep into her shoulders.Claire struggled to get away from him and pushed back with all her force

accidentally pushing over a lamp. At the sound of it breaking, Tony let her go, andthen laughed. “Don’t worry about that, Ba...uh…Honey. We’ll buy a hundred of

those, a thousand of them,” he said and laughed loud. Claire had never seen himseem so evil. It was as if he felt full of power and he was going to wield it on her.

She knew that money or the lack of it had been the Bain of his existenceand now that there was within his grasp a seemingly endless amount of it, he wasdrunk with the idea of having all the money he ever wanted.

“There’s nothing we can’t do. We’ve got the world on a string…Honey.”“No Tony, Please just get out!” Claire yelled again“Claire, I’m not going anywhere. My place is with you and I knew it was all

along. I just let you divorce me because I felt you needed to see what it was like

without me and now that you know, we can...,”“Now that I know,” Claire yelled in his face looking him square in the eyes

so he could see she meant business, “I want you out, Tony. I don’t want to bemarried to you, ever again.”

Pressing his fingers deeper into her shoulders he smiled at her and thenpulled her toward him, “You don’t mean that…”

Suddenly there was pounding at the kitchen door.Startled, Tony looked toward the door and then back at Claire, “Are you

expecting someone?” Thinking fast she answered, ‘Yes, now let me go.” Again the pounding came on the kitchen door and then it was quickly

followed by pounding on the front door. Hearing her name called Claireimmediately recognized it was Peter who was outside the kitchen door.

Unfortunately, Tony recognized his voice as well. “Get rid of him Claire,”he said softly with a hiss. “Tell him to leave, do you understand me?”

Seeing the panic in her face, he instantly caught that she must have feelingsfor him.

“Let me go!” she said struggling against him.“If you don’t want him hurt, Claire…get rid of him.”Claire looked at him in disbelief and then with a final jerk, she pulled free

from his grasp. Catching herself, she stumbled into the kitchen, she threw open thedoor.



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Peter had never looked so good to her in all her life.

*

Seeing the relief fill Claire’s panicked face, it was all Peter could do not to

come through the door and grab Tony and beat him unmercifully. But he held histemper, much to his surprise. He didn’t want to make the situation worse for Clairethan it already was.

From the sounds he and Rendon heard, it was clear that Claire wanted Tony gone, but with Tony coming up behind her and standing possessively, Peterdidn’t want Claire to get caught in the middle. He knew he could take him becausesize and height were on his side.

While assessing his next move, Rendon came barreling around the cornertoward Peter, and seeing the door open, he blurted out, “Hey, Claire,” Rendon said

breaking the silence. “Uh, we heard some loud voices.”Claire and Peter’s eyes were locked. She took a deep breath and started to

say something, when Tony spoke up, “Yeah, we were getting pretty loud, weren’t weBabe? We were celebrating in fact. Claire was just saying that she wanted me to gotomorrow and get some things for us.” Putting his hands on her sore shoulders, hecontinued, “Claire and I have decided to remarry. She said she wanted me to leavethe details to her, right Babe?”

Peter looked at Tony with a cold stare. He couldn’t believe what Tony hadjust said. He knew what he heard before he had gotten to the door and from the

look on Claire’s face she was afraid. But she was silent.“Claire?” Peter said softly. “Can we talk?”

With a jerk and then taking a quick deep breath as if in pain, she answered.“No, Peter,” she said unconvincingly, “maybe tomorrow.”

“Oh, remember, Babe,” Tony quickly spoke up, forcing her to turn towardhim, “we’re leaving early tomorrow morning.” Then looking at Peter, he smiled,“Sorry about that. Guess you’ll just have to come see us some other time.”

Peter didn’t move.

“Claire,” he said again in an even tone, “please, I’d just like a moment of your time,” then looking at Tony, “alone.”“No,” Tony said without hesitation. “Good night, Peter.”

As Tony pulled Claire back and began to close the door, Peter shoved hisfoot in the doorway so it couldn’t close.

“I want to hear it from Claire,” Peter said in the same even low tone. Tony protested, “Peter, there’s nothing for her…”“It’s alright, Tony,” Claire said looking up at him. “Just for a minute.”

A battle of wills ensued as neither Tony nor Claire would back down. Peter

took the opportunity to silently move his foot further in and take quickly graspedClaire’s hand.

“Claire, come with me,” Peter tenderly.



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She turned her head and looked at him with searching eyes. Tony still hadhis hands on her shoulders, so she didn’t move. Tony twisted her shoulders andbroke the connection between Claire and Peter.

“Talk to him tomorrow, Claire. Not tonight” Tony commanded.Tomorrow could be another lifetime Claire thought, her mind racing trying to

figure out how she could talk to Peter alone. Lord, help me! Claire prayed. Until now the thought had not crossed her mind to pray, but now that it did, she pleadedrepeating the phrase over and over, Lord, help me! Lord, help me! Lord, help me! Lord,help me!

“OUCH!” Rendon yelled, “What was that?” He said jumping up and downon the porch, yelling and batting at the air, like he was being attacked by a swarm of bees.

The three were startled by all the noise and commotion Rendon continuedto make. He continued to act as if he was being assaulted by something flying…but

there was nothing in sight.Making the most of this opportunity, Peter firmly pulled Claire by the hand

to him. She abruptly pulled away from Tony and wrenched herself from his grasp,keeping a firm hold onto Peter. Confused by disturbance and caught off guard,

Tony was too late to grab Claire back.“CLAIRE!” he yelled, following her out the door.Peter put Claire behind him, and blocked her from Tony. Rendon

immediately stopped his antics, quickly ran up to Claire and put his arm around her,leading her down the stairs out into Lyndee Park.



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Chapter 10

As the morning sun shone through the windows in Hetty’s office, Anna Jo

looked around at all the now familiar things in the office. “ Thank you, Mrs. P,” Anna Jo said jumping up and giving Hetty a big hug. “You really are something,you know that?” she said with a smile and then sat back on the couch.

“And how is that?” Hetty asked.“Well, I just had the best talk with Nora last night,” Anna Jo said sitting

back down and putting her arms around her knees, hugging them tight. “She is sosweet and she has been through a lot, too.”

“Yes, I know,” Hetty agreed.“And I told her all about that we had guardian angels,” Anna Jo continued,

“and how you said they were always with us, because God had put them there tohelp us. And I told her she had them too, and that she was never alone, and she

was pretty surprised about that. She said she had never really known much aboutguardian angels, so I told her everything I could remember.”

“I bet she learned a lot, didn’t she?” Hetty asked. Anna Jo nodded, very pleased with herself, “Yes she did. And she said that

she felt so much better just knowing that. Isn’t that cool? I mean she just really seemed thankful and all. She gave me a hug and said I was a blessing to her. Canyou imagine that? Wow, last night was the best night I’ve had in such a long time.Even talking about some of the bad things I’ve been through, even that wasn’t toohard to share because she said she could understand too,” she said, finally taking abreath.

“I had hoped that the two of you might be able to share with each other,”Hetty said folding her hands and putting them on her desk. “It’s important to beable to talk, Anna Jo.”

“I know, Mrs. P I don’t like talking to anyone but you and now Nora andsometimes Kay,” Anna Jo said. She paused for a moment, then sitting up, putting

her feet down, she said seriously, “but I don’t really like making new friends. And Idon’t know if I ever will, Mrs. P.”

“Well, what about this Community Mission that you and that young man, what was his name?” Hetty asked, knowing what the name was, but wanted to seehow Anna Jo reacted to it.

Anna Jo shyly smiled, instantly remembering the long talk they had andhow quickly they had become at ease with one another, “Rendon. Rendon Wayne

Walker.”“My,” Hetty smiled, “that is quite the name. I bet you can’t say that ten

times without stuttering!” Anna Jo giggled, “I’ve been practicing,” she said putting her head in her

hands shaking her head, “how silly is that?”Hetty laughed to, “Well, not silly at all if you’re going to be saying it a lot.”

At that, Anna Jo’s head popped up, “Really? You don’t think it’s silly?”



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“Not in the least, my dear.” Hetty leaned forward on her desk. “In fact Ithink it’s pretty smart, because I bet there are very few people who can say it andnot get tongue tied.”

Anna Jo thought for a moment. “I bet you’re right,” she nodding her headin agreement. “Good.” Continuing to think about it, Anna Jo again repeated, but

softer this time, more to herself than to Hetty, “Good.” At the sound of a knock on the open door, both turned to see Norastanding in the doorway.

“Morning,” she said to them both. “Am I disturbing something?”“No,” both smiled at each other, and then Anna Jo spoke up, “I’m just

practicing not getting tongue tied.”“Oh,” Nora replied unsure of what else to say. “Good,” she added.

Anna Jo got up from the couch, smiling broadly, “We both think it’s good!”she said as she passed by Nora. Turning toward Hetty, Anna Jo said, “Thanks, Mrs.

P.”“I’m glad you dropped in Anna Jo,” Hetty told her, sincerely meaning it.

As she watched Anna Jo leave the room she realized once again that it was herhearts desire that this young girl find her way in this world and she wanted to doanything she could to help. Put your angels around her Lord, to guide her way this very day and may that walk be straight and true and may it always be right to you.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Nora asked as she sat in the chair in front of Hetty.

“Excuse me?” Hetty said.

“Oh, I thought you said something to me.” Nora said a bit confused.“Oh, no,” Hetty said shaking her head, leaning back in her chair, “I was

saying my little prayer for Anna Jo.”Nora smiled, “You are so thoughtful, Hetty. I don’t know how you do all

that you do.”“Well,” Hetty said, “If the Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll get

done what I can and what I can’t, well it’ll just have to wait I try and be on God’sschedule, not my own.”

“Now THAT’S a goal I need to strive for,” Nora agreed and then the twobegan to discuss the plans for the garden and what should be grown and where and who should help with the maintenance.

Once they had a plan in place, Hetty could tell that Nora had something onher mind. Not one to mince words, she asked Nora straight out what was bothering her.

“I need to go by the house and I just can’t bring myself to do it,” Norafinally said.

“Is it because you’re afraid that Harold will be there?” Hetty asked

concerned. She already had a bad feeling of what he was capable of and she didn’t want Nora in harms way.

“Maybe, but, oh,” Nora said, “I’m sorry. I’m just being silly. I’m sureeverything will be fine.”



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Nora stood up to leave and at the same time Hetty stood up. SurprisedNora looked at her, and then Hetty said, “Your car or mine?”

Letting out a huge sigh, Nora asked, “Are you sure you have time?” sheasked concerned for all that Hetty had to get done.

“Yes,” she said firmly, “I have the time. Remember, I’m on God’s schedule

and I believe He’s made plenty of time for us to go together.”Nora didn’t argue. She had wanted someone to go with her, she just didn’tknow who to ask and she didn’t want to impose on Hetty, but…Hetty was Hetty and when she saw a need, she met it.

*

“Telephone, Anna Jo!” the yell came from down the hall as Anna Jo lay reading on her bed. It was Saturday and she loved lying on her bed by the window,

with the sun coming in warming her comforter. Hearing her name called she really didn’t want to move, but was curious as to who would be calling her. She had few close friends, and rarely did they ever call. It was just the nature of theirrelationship…Anna Jo needed lots of space and time alone.

Hearing her name called again, she rolled off the bed and headed out of herroom and down the hall to see who could be calling her.

“Hello?” Anna Jo said leaning up against the wall“Hey, how’s the head?” the voice on the other end asked.Immediately Anna Jo smiled and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. She

hoped this would not be a short conversation.“Fine, Rendon. How’s yours?” she asked.“Oh swollen, black and blue and the cast is a real pretty hot pink,” he said

laughing.“Man do you have an imagination,” Anna Jo laughed, “or else you’re a real

hypochondriac.”“Well, whatever it takes,” Rendon said, stopping short of saying to get your

attention.

Anna Jo let the comment slid. “So, what’s up?” she asked.“Well,” Rendon started off, “early this afternoon we’re going to work onthe Community Mission project and I’d like you to join us since most of the goodideas have been yours.”

Frozen, Anna Jo didn’t know what to say. Sure she wanted to see him, butshe wasn’t sure she wanted to be on a “planned” date. She just wanted it to sort of happen. Now he was asking her to meet him.

“Uh…is there a problem?” Rendon asked. He didn’t expect silence. Abrush off or a quick okay, he had expected, but not the silent treatment.

What should I say? she wondered. “Who else will be there?” Anna Jo relievedthat she had thought of a question to ask.

“Oh, there will probably be around ten of us. Conner and Jared will bethere and some of the girls that were there when we came out. You’ve met themall,” he told her hoping that that would be enough to cinch the deal.



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“How long would we be going over it?” she asked“I don’t know. Several hours I would think and then maybe we could get

some pizza or something.”“I’m lactose intolerant,” Anna Jo blurted out before thinking.“Uh…okay, then maybe a hamburger. Or…are you a vegetarian or

something?” he asked trying to cover his bases.“I’m more or less something,” Anna Jo said.“What does that mean?” Rendon asked.“Well, what did you mean?” she countered“I didn’t mean anything by it Anna Jo,” he said getting confused and

defensive as to where the conversation was going. “I just meant that we can go wherever you want.”

“By we, do you mean you and me or as in the whole group?” Anna Joasked, knowing that if it was just the two of them it would be out of the question.

She was not ready for that.“Uh, no…all of us. We tend to do things as a group, I mean, if we’re

working on something then we all pretty much just stick together for the day. I justthought you’d like to join us. But if you can’t, I’ll understand.”

“No, I can come. I just need to ask to be sure, but…I’m sure I can,” Anna Jo quickly agreed. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her, with all the questions.But at the thought of being left out, she suddenly very much wanted to go.

“Good,” Rendon said with relief in his voice. Phew…Rendon thought that’s the most confusing acceptance I think I’ve ever had.

“Hold on, okay?” she asked standing up.“I’m not going anywhere,” Rendon told her.“Oh, what adults will be there? I guess Mr. McAlister, but who else?” she

had to ask because she knew that question would come up.“Yeah, he’ll be at the church building, plus Claire Drake and Jess

Sanderson. They came out there with us last time, but they probably won’t behelping us with the planning much. Uh…something came up and they’ve got somestuff they have to go over, but they’ll be there.”

*

“So…” Claire said as she stood up and paced the room. “I’m not sure whatmy next step is,” she confided. “I just never dreamed that I’d be in a position likethis.”

Peter sat on the couch in the church parlor watching her, as she continuedto pace. It had been a long night and he was glad that everyone was still in onepiece today.

Jess cleared her throat and got Claire’s attention, and then she looked overat Peter.

“Look,” Jess started, “can you just catch me up to speed on everything thathappened last night? I mean, when you got to my house, I know you didn’t want to



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talk and that’s fine. I have no problem with that, but this morning, Claire, allthrough breakfast, and then on the way over here, you’ve been absolutely silent.”

Claire put her hands to her head and then brushed her short hair away fromher face, “I know, I know.” Claire agreed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. I’m just soconfused and mad and hurt and I don’t know who to tell what to anymore!” she

said as she hit her palms against her thighs. Jess stood up and walked over to Claire, putting her hand on her shoulder. At the touch, Claire winced, surprising Jess but immediately raising Peter’ssuspicions.

“Claire,” he said, “let Jess take you into the ladies room and let her look atyour shoulders.”

“No!” Claire said pulling away from Jess. “That’s stupid. There’s noreason for that.”

“I think there is, Claire.”

“Oh, so are YOU now going to start bossing me around? Telling me whatto do? I HATE that!” Claire yelled, then instantly dissolved into tears. Jess andPeter tried to make out what Claire was saying as she cried into her hands. Hermuffled voice made it almost impossible for them to understand. Between her sobsthey caught sporadic words, but none of them made sense.

Gently Peter led Claire over to the couch and helped her sit down. Sheleaned on his shoulder and began to cry, heartbreaking, sobs that tore at his heart.

When finally Claire had no more tears, she sniffed and took the tissue Jessoffered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to just let go like that.”

“That’s what friends are for Claire,” Jess said quietly. “But you have to tellus what’s going on if we’re going to help you, Claire. What has happened betweenyou and Tony?”

Claire looked up at Peter as she continued to lean on him, then she turnedto Jess. “Maybe it’s not as bad as I’m…”

“Claire!” Peter said in disbelief, straightening up on the couch, setting herup straight so he could look at her. “How can you say that? That man was holding you against your will last night and…”

“Against her will?” Jess asked, “What do you mean?”Peter looked at Jess not trusting himself to look at Claire. His angerinstantly ignited as he began to relay the night’s events from his perspective.

“Rendon and I were heading over to Claire’s to show her the plans we hadfor the Community Mission and as we got close, we heard the two yelling at oneanother so we ran to see what was up. I went to the back door by the kitchen andRendon went to the front. When Claire answered it,” turning to Claire he looked ather, “she was obviously frightened. I asked her to come out alone and talk with me,but Tony wouldn’t let her. He had a hold of her and wasn’t letting go.”

“Peter, you’re right, I was scared. I had asked him to go and he wouldn’t.”Forgetting about Jess, Peter turned to Claire, “Why did he say that you were

going to get married? What was that all about?”“It’s about the money,” Claire said as if spewing them from her mouth.“What money?” Peter asked, puzzled by her answer.



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“From my parents will,” she told them. Looking at Jess Claire said, “They left me more money than I ever dreamed.”

Turning to Peter she finished. “Tony went to the attorney’s office with me,but the attorney wouldn’t let him in the room. After I came out and we headedback to the house, Tony became suspicious and wanted to know what all the secrecy

was about, so finally last night I broke down and told him.”“So,” Jess said trying to grasp the situation, “you told Tony about themoney and he wants you two to get married again?”

“It’s not just some money Peter,” Claire said.“Okay,” Peter nodded. “But why should Tony think the two of you would

get back together because you inherited money.”“Because,” Claire said taking a deep breath, “it’s over two million dollars.”Stunned into silence, Peter said nothing. Shocked by the amount of money

Claire was inheriting and Tony’s attitude now became clear. He didn’t really want

Claire as much as he wanted the money. Jess went beyond the money issue, and asked, “So when Peter came up and

Tony wouldn’t let you go, Claire, what happened then?” The tenseness in the air was broken by both Claire and Peter, as they

laughed and said, “Rendon,” Peter said first.“What did he say?” Jess asked.Peter then laughed for real, “That guy,” he said shaking his head, “he got

the bright idea…”“Thank goodness,” Claire said smiling at the memory of the gig that

Rendon did.“Yeah, it was really a smart thing to do, but anyway,” Peter picked up the

story again, “Tony had Claire by the shoulders and I had her hand so she was caughtin the middle. And as Tony and I were having a staring match, Rendon startedjumping around.”

Again Peter began to laugh remembering Rendon’s antics, “He washopping and screaming pretending he was getting stung by wasps or bees orsomething. So it caught the three of us off guard. And then when I realized he was

giving me an opportunity to get Claire out of there, I pulled her and she jerked outof Tony’s grasp, so I quickly put her behind me.” Jess smiled, “That must have been some sight. So…what happened next?”Claire spoke up, “After Peter put me behind him Rendon ran up and

grabbed me and took me down the steps and into the park, heading for the church.“While Peter was still facing Tony?” Jess asked.Claire looked at Peter, letting him finish the story. He took a deep breath

and furrowed his brows, “Yeah, I don’t think I have ever been so mad in all my life. Tony was a big man as long as he had Claire in front of him, but as soon as he saw

that Claire was gone, he just made an idiot out of himself.”“How’s that?” Jess had to find out. She had been around Tony enough to

know that he thought he was cool and macho and knew everything. He was full of “one-upmanship” and it drove Jess crazy. So now to hear that Peter had corneredhim, Jess was enjoying every moment of it.



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“He started making threats and accusations and acting all tough andeverything. But at that moment I realized he was pitiful. And since Claire was safeI realized I wasn’t going to dignify any of his comments, which made him evenmadder.”

Peter smiled and looked at Claire, “But I’ll tell you when I stepped through

that doorway, he began to stutter and backed up. I just looked down on him andput one finger on his chest and told him if he ever…ever laid another hand on youor threatened you in any way, he would live to regret it.”

“You said that?” Jess asked sounding impressed.“Yes I did, and I meant every word of it,” Peter said, gently taking Claire’s

hand.

*

As Hetty and Nora stood in Nora’s living room, both were quiet. “I can’tbelieve he did this.” Nora said dazed.

Their footfalls echoed down the natural wood floors as they went fromroom to room finding everything of value gone. Trash littered each room andhallway as if the contents of drawers were dumped out and the furniture wasdragged over it.

Continuing in shocked silence, Hetty let Nora lead the way. In each room,Nora mentioned items that were missing, “…the television and stereo… thegrandfather’s clock…my grandmother’s bed set…our son’s chest of drawers and

television…my computer…my china…all the silver…my jewelry box…ourdaughter’s bedroom suit and computer…,” Nora’s voice trailed off.

Turning to Hetty she said, “You know I had expected the place to be like italways had been – magazine cover ready. That’s the way Harold liked it…nodemanded it,” she corrected herself. “And now, it’s just a shell. It’s all just a shell.”

Hetty remained calm. There was nothing she could say that would bring comfort to her friend. All Hetty had to offer was her presence and strength toendure this affront. Harold had taken every material possession except the car Nora

drove and what few personal items Claire had brought with her to Guardian Home. After they had circled into every room, Nora looked at Hetty and gave a weak smile, “It’s just as well,” she said. “I really don’t have a lot of needs. And aslong as…” breaking down and crying, Hetty went to her and wrapped her armsaround her.

Hetty spoke strong and firm, not with authority but with a strength in tonethat Nora could grab a hold of, hang on to, and be inspired by. “You have a home,Nora,” Hetty told her. “You have a safe place to live with people who care aboutyou.”

Nora sniffed, “I know,” she agreed. “It’s just that…well, that change ishard. There have been times when I thought that maybe I’d come back here, butnow…no…I’ll never come back here.”

Hetty and Nora walked out of the house, side by side and Nora neverlooked back.



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Chapter 11

As the afternoon shadows began to cover the park, Anna Jo wanted to

pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Sitting on the porch at theHamilton house, she contentedly sat in one of the many rockers on the porch andlistened to kids talk and laugh, kidding one another with a friendly camaraderie.

Although shy, they had drawn her in to conversations and her opinion andideas had been readily discussed and accepted. She couldn’t believe how quickly shefelt at ease with the youth group. It was a first…and it was an experience she

wanted repeated.She felt comfortable with the kids at Guardian Home because they had all

been in the same boat…unstable or dysfunctional family, with insufficient means to

be cared for and basically no where else to go. And for most of them GuardianHome was the very best place to be, because they were provided a stableenvironment with safety, security and love.

It was the place she called home, because it was home. And she had noother place she’d rather be, but sitting on the porch, eyes closed, allowing theconversations to be in the background, Anna Jo dreamed about what it would belike to grow up in a home such as this and she began to imagine all the happy times,all the close family times that were probably spent on this porch, or at the nearby park.

Maybe someday, she thought. Ms. Drake is so lucky to have been brought up in a home like this , she thought. I bet she had the perfect life here , Anna Jo fanaticized. I bet her mother fixed her milk and cookies and read her bedtime stories and rocked her to sleep on this very

porch, probably in this very chair, she smiled. Leaning her head back against the woodenslats of the chair, she closed her eyes and dreamed of what it would be like to have amother who knew how to be a mother and to actually know who your father was. I wish I could have had a mother and father that loved me enough to provide a home.

Realizing she was thinking of a past that couldn’t be changed and things

that never could be, she reigned in her thoughts. She didn’t want to spoil her mood.“Penny for your thoughts?” came a voice beside her.

Anna Jo didn’t open her eyes, she just smiled, “Just thoughts,” she said,“just thoughts.”

Rendon looked up at her as he sat on the porch. She is so pretty he thought,why can’t more girls be like her? he wondered. She’s not silly or goofy, or all flirty like most of the girls he continued thinking about her, trying to put his finger on what it was thatmade her so different, then it hit him. She’s so real he finally figured out. What you see is what you get with her. She doesn’t care what you think about her, because she is who she is .

Pleased with himself that he was finally able to figure out her special quality,she opened her eyes and looked down on him, “Penny for your thoughts,” she said.

He smiled back at her, “Just thinking.”

*



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Peter was glad that Claire had suggested all the kids come over to her place,He didn’t like the idea of Claire being there by herself and they had argued off andon all day about it, with Jess finally putting an end to it by saying that Claire couldstay with her and David for a while.

Claire had needed to get a few things from her apartment, so Peter went with her because neither wanted to provide Tony with any opportunity to be withher alone. On the drive over, both had been silent because neither wanted to statethe obvious that Claire was in a bit of a mess and she didn’t know what she wasgoing to do.

As Peter watched her keep the snack trays heaping with goodies and thepitchers filled with cool refreshment, Peter knew he had to try and keep his feelingsout of it, at least for the time being, because he didn’t want to influence Claire whenshe was so unsure of herself. Having never seen her like this, he knew she could

feel that she was being manipulated if he pushed her and that was the last thing he wanted to do to her.

If she had feelings for him, he wanted them to come from her heart, notout of fear or gratitude. These feelings were all so raw and new to Peter that they continued to catch him off guard. Hearing her laugh made him feel so good, and

watching her cry and broken his heart and had made him angry, angry at Tony andat the whole situation.

Once again, at the thought of Tony and the bruises he had put on Claire, hefumed, irritated at himself for not being there sooner, and mad that he had not been

able to see it coming, but I wonder Peter thought once more, if Claire had not come intoso much money, would he be around at all and to that Peter knew the answer was aresounding…NO. So maybe, an idea struck him, if I can find out just what kind of

financial straights he’s in, then that will help Claire realize that it was only her money he was after. Satisfied that he had a plan, Peter let the thought drop, promising himself

that at the first opportunity, he was going to do some digging around on Tony Drake and just find out what the guy was up to.

As the youth group began to sing, Peter joined in with his deep base voice,

completing the harmony.Filling the air with words of praise, Peter thought of Claire’s mother, Lydiaand hoped that she could see from heaven, how her east side porch was still serving as a place of worship. And looking at her daughter…well, as each day passed he feltcloser and closer to her and knew that soon he would have to reveal his feelings forher.

*

Having the youth group over was such a god-send. After leaving the way she did the night before, Claire could not imagine going back into that house

without fear of Tony being there, but somehow with it filled with kids and singing and laughter, yesterday seemed a lifetime away.



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As Claire hustled around, making sure everyone had something to drink and a snack, she knew how her mother must have felt when she had groups over toher house. Everyone had loved coming to her home because her mother was agreat cook, a wonderful hostess and plus they had the park right there where they could play games and just talk.

Looking back on it now, she wished she had been more appreciative of allher parents had done for her. Mom, Dad…Claire thought, almost as a prayer…thank you for all that you gave me. I am so blessed to have had you as parents and I wish that I could tell you now, or hug you. I hope that you knew that I really did love you and…as tears welledup in her eyes, she was afraid that they didn’t know, she was afraid that she hadn’ttold them enough, hadn’t hugged them enough, hadn’t told them how dear they

were to her…Please Lord, let them know now how much I loved them…and love them still. Claire walked around to the front door. As she turned the corner she was

struck with a sense of sadness. This porch she said, again tearing up, holds so many

memories. So much pain and love…how can I separate the two? She questioned herself again. How can I love this place and at the same time, hate it so much!

As the sun began to set, the porch began to darken, but the singing continued. And the louder the youth group sang, the more Claire felt her heartmelting. I’ve hated Lyndee’s park, because I’ve always believed it took Mom away from me.Claire sniffed, sitting down in a rocker near the front porch out of sight of thegroup. I’ve built such a wall around my heart, how am I ever going to let this anger go, shethought to herself becoming frustrated with a past she could not change. Putting her head in her hands, she cried into her palms. Why are things becoming clear, now?

Why…she asked, knowing that she wouldn’t get an answer, and not expecting one,so when she felt the hand upon her shoulder, she knew immediately who it was.

Peter bent down beside her. “I’m here, Claire” he said gently.Much to his surprise and hers, she reached out for his hand. As he took

her wet palm, he kissed it a. “I’m sorry,” he told her, “I’m so sorry for everything…for the pain that you had growing up, for the lack of feeling loved, for the marriage to a man that had noidea what a treasure you are. I’m so sorry, Claire.”

Hearing the words spoken that she had so often wanted to hear, she turned

to him, went to her knees and allowed Peter to comfort her as she had never beencomforted before. He held her firmly, securely. And she clung on to him as if herlife depended on it, for she knew that it did.

She knew that Tony was not out of her life…yet. And because of themoney she was to inherit, she didn’t know how to get rid of him. I used to be so strong,she thought, I used to know exactly what I wanted and I didn’t let people get to me. I was a rock…I was a rock.

“I was a rock,” she said aloud, not even realizing she had spoken.“But Claire, rocks don’t feel, and that’s how you protected yourself. You

just didn’t feel. And that’s not a way to live, Claire. It’s not living at all, it’s merely existing.”

“I know,” she said balling up her fist and began to pounding on Peter’sback, “I used to be in control, I used to be…”



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Peter stopped her, “No Claire,” he pulled her away so he could look intoher eyes. She needed to understand who was in control. “No one is really incontrol, Claire,” he said looking deep into her eyes. “Only God.”

“Then why has God done this to me?” she asked. “Why has He not beenthere for me? Why hasn’t He helped me?” Claire said as she went limp in Peter’s

embrace.“Claire, He has always been with you,” Peter said, slowing, tenderly stroking her short brown hair. “You’ve been surrounded by love and well-meaning people,that maybe didn’t know how to tell you that they loved you, but you’ve never beenalone.” Peter said trying to find the right words.

Feeling her surrender, Peter continued to talk to her, telling her of God’slove for her, sharing with her his faith and some of his trials. And there on theporch, in the place where she had felt so left out all of her life, she finally foundacceptance and opened her heart.

At last Claire pulled away from Peter, looking into his eyes and seeing sucha tender care, that she wanted this moment to never end.

There were so many things she wanted to ask him, but she couldn’t utter asound. The bond they were sharing didn’t need words.

Finally Peter broke the silence with words that Claire took to heart andknew that he was making a commitment, one that he wouldn’t break, “I’ll neverleave you Claire.” He said stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. “I’ll neverleave you.

Claire said nothing. Her eyes told him all he needed to know. Slowly she

leaned forward, closed her eyes, and she and Peter shared their first kiss.



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Chapter 12

Lying in her bed, letting the morning sun warm her, Anna Jo stretched like

a cat, feeling the full range of her body. Feeling the soft sheets beneath her hand,she smiled and began to go over every sweet detail of the previous day.

“Thank you Lord,” at last Anna Jo whispered out loud. Slowing sitting up,she looked around at the other three girls in her room. They were still sleeping.

They were all much younger than she, and she felt a protectiveness fill her. She so wanted these girls to have the security she now had at this place, her home, theirhome.

Quietly getting up, she picked up her clothes and went down the hall to getdressed. Night would always be her favorite time, but being at Guardian Home

Anna Jo had begun to appreciate the mornings, too. As Mrs. P had told her thatmorning is the time when the day is still filled with possibilities and untouched withevents. Anything was possible at the start of the day. That had stuck with Anna Jo,and as she recalled it now, she again knew how blessed she was to be here.

Quietly making her way down to the kitchen, she saw Nora sitting at thebreakfast table alone, head down.

Afraid to break her concentration, Anna Jo tried to make her way across thekitchen as quietly as possible, but Nora’s head came up as she heard the shuffling of

Anna Jo’s feet. With a tender smile, Nora looked at Anna Jo. “Good morning, dear,” she

greeted her, and then asked, “are you hungry?”“No, not yet,” Anna Jo replied. “I just wanted to get some juice before I

went for a walk before church,” she told Nora as she opened the refrigerator.Choosing apple juice she poured herself a large glass. “Would you like some?” sheoffered.

“No, thank you, dear. Coffee’s my preference at this time of day,” she said.Sitting down at the table with Nora, Anna Jo asked, “So, how was your day

yesterday?” Her own had been so good that she wanted to share it with someone, togive them every glorious detail, but to be polite, she wanted Nora to go first. Thenshe would launch into all the wonderful details of what of her day with Rendon hadbeen like.

Nora didn’t want to trouble the young teen with her own personalproblems, so she just responded, “It was a day of lessons I guess you could say,” shesaid with a slight attempt at a smile,

“Oh mine too!” Anna Jo said, oblivious to Nora’s tone.Seeing Anna Jo barely able to contain herself, Nora nodded and asked,

“Really, why don’t you tell me about it.” Anna Jo had discovered what a great guy Rendon was and she wanted to

share it, wanted someone else to know how wonderful he was. What strong character he had and what great plans he had for his future, how motivated to serveothers, how open and sweet his spirit was. Anna Jo wanted the world to know.



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As Anna Jo began to unfold her day, Nora just looked on and smiled. . Anna Jo was in love

*

Nora looked at Anna Jo, letting words wash over her. They didn’t sink in. They didn’t have to; it was all in Anna Jo’s tone and body language.Nora realized how blessed she was to be here, how glad she was that God

had put her in this place. Yesterday she felt her life was falling apart again. Sheknew that things between her and Harold were different, but now she finally felt she

was beginning to accept it. Each time something happened between them sherealized that there was no going back.

And now, with the dawn of a new day, things looked brighter. Her life would be unlike anything she had dreamed about…it would be better. Here she felt

useful, appreciated. She had a purpose. She had been taken for granted by herfamily and she had allowed it. She didn’t know how not to, but now, now all thathad changed.

Looking at the bubbly exuberance of Anna Jo, Nora smiled and wonderedif she herself had been ever been like that. But instantly she knew that she hadn’t.Her childhood had been ripped away from her. It had been torn and shattered,never to be put back together. And she prayed with all her heart that Anna Jo

would never have to face the demons that Nora had.Having been raped at 15 and forced to have an abortion, she knew that was

the end of her innocence. When she met Harold he had never wanted to discussthe past, mainly because he had had a wild one and didn’t want to confess his sins,so he didn’t want to hear about hers.

She always met his expectations, she was afraid not to. But she neverexceeded them. She lived to just get by. He kept her under his thumb and sheknew no difference. She had been a stay at home mom, but Harold ruled the roostand would negate any authority she tried to have. He wanted to be king andmaster…and he had become both.

When she had become pregnant a few months ago, Harold had becomefurious telling her that she had to have an abortion. Finally Nora rebelled.Feeling betrayed and alone, she had told Harold and both of their children,

who were grown, that she intended on having this child. But they had teamed up,and tried to talk her into “doing the right thing,” by having an abortion. A baby now would complicate their lives too much and disrupt the comfortable patternthey had become accustomed to. They had questioned the likelihood of her having a healthy child, and they felt her chances were slim.

Her family, her husband and children had only seen her as weak and finally

after years of insecurity Nora stood up to them. She’d never had the strength orreason to stand up to them just for her sake. But now that she was having a baby,she found within her a reason to not only live, but to thrive. And she finally saw herlife for what it was…an existence that had little meaning and no purpose.



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She became adamant that she was having this child. She felt it was God’s way of giving her a second chance and she was NOT going to mess it up this time.She was going to give her baby life. And this little baby would have the opportunity that her first child had not been given.

Nora had always regretted the abortion she’d had in her teens and had

never been able to get beyond the guilt of it. It was her secret, her deep dark secretthat she shared with no one…until now. And now she had told not only her family,but her friends as well. And it was her friends that took her in, made her feel whole,and helped her to see the reality of her past, and she had found forgiveness.

So in the end, she left Harold, making it clear she would no longer allow him to rule her life. Having been an ineffective parent because she allowed Haroldto have his way with everything concerning the children and the running of thehome, when she told their daughter she was leaving Harold, she was understandably upset, blaming Nora for causing the family problems. But Nora knew that that was

going to have to be her daughter’s problem, not her own. And once that break had occurred she discovered that Harold had

problems beyond her pregnancy. He had gambled away their life savings and wasfranticly trying to figure out his next move. He had kept it secret from her for aslong as he could because he couldn’t admit to himself, much less anyone else that he

was a failure. He needed cash and a lot of it soon, and Nora was just complicating matters with this “unforeseen inconvenience” and her audacity at abandoning himin his time of need.

But…she had miscarried and with the loss of the baby, Nora had felt

confused and abandoned by God. But through the help of friends like Hetty andseveral ladies from the church, she was slowly finding her way back.

The Guardian Home was a place of refuge. And now that Nora was here,she knew that she would survive. She believed that God had plans for her and she

was going to try and stay within His will for her life.Coming out of her reverie, Nora watched Anna Jo’s animated actions. This

girl, Nora thought to herself, this girl has such great potential. Lord, she continued, helpme to do whatever she needs of me. Help me to be there for her because life is not easy and can turn

so quickly, but you God, Nora smiled , You are ever faithful.

*

Running along the trail at Lyndee Park, Peter had a burst of euphoria thathe had seldom ever experienced. As he and Rendon continued on their early morning run before, Peter shot past Rendon, catching him off guard.

“Hey!” Rendon yelled out. Quickly picking up speed and then passing Peter, Rendon taunted, “if this is a race, old man, you’re going to lose!” he said and

with that Rendon burst ahead of Peter, kicking up a trail of wood chips and dust.Peter laughed and promptly slowed down to walk. “Hey!” he yelled out to

Rendon, as he continued to try and catch his breath, “you win!”Peter watched as Rendon turned around and trotted back toward him.



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“What were you trying to proved?” he asked as he fell into step besidePeter.

“Oh, just seeing if you were awake or were daydreaming about Anna Jo.”“Well, I was both!” Rendon confirmed. Smiling broadly he confided to

Peter, “Yesterday was so great. I’ve just never felt this way about someone.”

Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, he then continued. “You know, I have allthese plans, and then she walks into my life, and suddenly the priorities change.”Peter had to smile. He was thinking much the same thing about Claire.

Recalling their very rocky beginning, he would never have believed that the two of them would share a kiss so sweet and tender.

“What’s that smile for?” Rendon asked looking at Peter with curiosity.“Oh,” he said slapping Rendon on the shoulder, “I know what you mean.

It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it?”“Oh…”Rendon said, slowly nodding, “So…you and Ms. Drake have made

a connection, huh?”Peter laughed, “You might say that.” Not wanting the conversation to go

any further for the moment, Peter changed the subject, “So, are you satisfied aboutthe community outreach plans?

“Hmmm,” Rendon said, “changing the subject are we?”Firmly Peter said, “Yes, we are.”Rendon laughed, “I’m just glad to see that old people can fall in love too,”“Hey!” Peter said, this time pushing Rendon off balance, “I am NOT old.”“Okay, whatever you say,” Rendon said regaining his balance but never

loosing his sense of humor, “I believe you. Your right, really you are. You’re notold at all, not at all.”

Peter shook his head and began to trot back to his apartment, with Rendonquickly catching up, this time staying a few steps ahead, just incase Peter decided totry and pull another stunt.

As they reached the entrance to the apartments, Rendon turned to headback to his house which was less than half a mile away, “See ya at church later,”Rendon called out.

“Good,” Peter called out. “Let’s get together this afternoon to go over what needs to be presented to the elders.”“Okay,” Rendon called over his shoulder, turning the corner and was out of

sight. As Peter walked up to his apartment door, he suddenly realized that

someone was coming up behind him. Turning he saw Tony.Stopping dead in his tracks, Peter looked at the man approach that had

caused Claire so much heartbreak and he instantly became angry, but knew that hehad to keep his cool.

Waiting for Tony to break the tense silence, Peter stood there as Tony slowly came nearer.

“Looks like you’ve got eyes for MY Claire,” Tony said as he stopped.“She’s not yours, Tony. She wants to have nothing further to do with you.”



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Tony snorted, “Naw,” he said smiling, shaking his head, “she’s just a bitconfused because you entered the picture.”

“What do you want Tony? Why are you here?” Peter asked coldly. Notrising to the bait that Tony offered.

“I just came by to see you. To let you know that you have not won,

preacher man, and that you’ll not win her.”Peter took a step closer to Tony, “Don’t be so sure,” Peter said menacingly.“Look,” Tony said putting his hands up and taking a step back, “she’s a

complicated woman. I’ve been with her for years and I know how her little mind works. Right now she’s confused like I said, but I thought you should know that…” Tony hesitated, letting the tension build. “I was with her last night.”

“No you weren’t,” Peter said, “I was.”“Well, I watched the two of you on the front porch and I watched as you

went back and joined the group and I watched as everyone left, and I watched you

walk off the porch and through the park.” Tony sneered. “And then I…I went toClaire.”

Stunned, Peter couldn’t believe what he was saying, “I don’t believe you.”“Oh, believe me, alright, preacher man. Claire and I had a long, very long

and intimate talk about everything. And I do mean everything.”Peter stood there dumbfounded. He knew that what he and Claire had

shared was special. He knew he felt her caring for him. He knew that she or at leasthe had led himself to believe, that Claire was falling in love with him.

“Why are you here, Tony?” Peter said, stopping his train of thoughts to face

the present situation.“I just wanted you to know that we’re, that’s Claire and I will be heading

out of town today.”“I don’t believe you.” Peter said flatly. “Why would you come over here

and tell me this? Why wouldn’t you just leave?”“Because preacher man,” he looked up at Peter, sneering, “when I win, I

like my opponents to know it. And I like being the one to tell them. And in thiscase, I’ve won.”

“Not until I talk to Claire myself,” Peter said turning and heading into hisapartment. “Oh, she won’t answer the phone this morning. She’s a bit too busy packing.”

Peter whirled around, closed the space between the two, and landed apunch on Tony’s left jaw that completely caught him off guard. Falling backwardand unable to keep his balance, Tony fell to the cement.

“Get out!” Peter with a tone that left no doubt that he’d hit him again if hedidn’t leave immediately.

“I figured you for a violent guy,” Tony said holding his jaw, assessing if it

was broken. “I told Claire you’d hit me, but she didn’t believe me. She said you weren’t that type of guy. But I knew better,” he said getting up slowly, bracing himself against the side of the apartment wall, “I knew you wouldn’t be able toresist. You were a fighter when you were younger and I know that when you get thetaste of power of beating someone else well, you just never are able to resist it.”



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And with that, Tony turned and walked to his car, still holding his jaw. As heopened the car door, he turned and again gave a smile that said it all. Tony was aman that had never played fair and wouldn’t let anyone stand in his way fromgetting what he wanted.

Peter stood there dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe what had just

happened. He had not hit someone in seven years and couldn’t believe that he hadjust hit Tony.Running his hands through his sweat drenched hair, he screamed in his

head, What’s going on? This can’t be real he repeated over and over in his head, Not after last night. I know she cares about me. How did he get her to go?

Realizing that he had to act fast, he ran, unlocked his apartment, and madea quick call to an elder of the church, telling him that he would not be at churchtoday that something personal had come up and would explain later and hung up.He didn’t have time to answer any questions. And besides, he didn’t know the

answers. All he did know was that he had to get to Clare before they left.

*

Tears covered Claire’s face as Tony drove her over to her apartment.“You’ve been over at your mother’s house too long now, Claire.”

Claire made no response. There was nothing for her to say. When Tony had returned from some errand he said he had to do before they left, he walked intothe house and without a word, he had grabbed her arm and her purse and had

dragged her to the car, leaving her no opportunity to turn off lights or lock the door. Throwing her into the car with the threat of, “I swear, if you move or call

out, you’ll regret it, so just don’t try anything funny, because you can’t win, Claire. You can’t win.”

Claire complied. She was numb, unable to feel anything, except disbelief at what had transpired after Peter had left the night before.

As Tony drove them to her apartment, Claire began to replay the events inher mind, trying to sort the details, to figure out what she could have done

differently, and maybe that would help her figure out what to do now.She had stood on the porch watching the group walk back through the park to the church to take the kids back to Guardian Home on the bus, when she hadsuddenly felt Tony grab her from behind, slapping his hand across her face,muffling any sound or call she might make. She immediately recalled Peter asking her if she would be alright, did she want to go back to Jess’ house to spend the nightand foolishly, oh so stupidly she had said no. The sense of “I’ll be alright, I can takecare of myself,” was such a farce she now realized. Why didn’t I go with them? sheasked herself again and again.

But she couldn’t change that now. She had stayed and by staying there shehad given Tony another opportunity to get to her.

As Tony had one hand on the steering wheel, he reached over and pattedher knee with his other hand, bringing her back to the present. He kindly said,“We’re going to be fine, Claire. Trust me Babe. Oh,” he said in mock surprise, “I



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forgot. You hate it when I call you that don’t you?” Sighing heavily, he said, “Oh well, too bad. I like it and you know how hard it is to break old habits, don’t you?”

Claire said nothing. She had nothing to say and swore to herself that she was not going to say one word to him…not one.

Enduring her silence for as long as he could, Tony couldn’t resist the taunt,

as he rubbed his jaw, “Too bad preacher man hit me you know, Babe,” he said witha smile. “All I have to do is press charges that I was attacked and he can bearrested.” Looking over at Claire, he smiled, “but you don’t want that do you?Babe? I’m talking to you,” he said, digging his fingers into her knee.

Biting her lip, trying to hold off the pain, but unable to endure it any longer,she finally cried out, “What do you want from me Tony? Why are you doing this?”

She knew the answer to it all was surrounded around the money she wasinheriting. Yet in his effort to get to her money, her hate for him was growing by leaps and bounds.

But Tony had thrown a twist in his plans for the two of them. He wantedto make sure that Peter would leave her alone, that he would pose no threat to hisplans, so he had convinced Claire that if she did not go along with him, Peter wouldbe hurt…and it would be all because of her.



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Chapter 13

Sunday afternoon was quiet and peaceful. Anna Jo laid on a blanket out on

the front lawn reading to one of the younger children. She loved helping with them,but sometimes she just needed her own space and as yet had not been able to figureout how to make some of the kids leave her alone for some time to herself. But thisafternoon, she was in a great mood. And she loved everyone and everything aroundher.

She was so glad that her dorm parents had taken her to Rendon’s church. Although different than their own, they had no problem with Anna Jo going thereand they wanted to see what it was like. Hearing all the stories from Anna Jo andothers, they were very pleased that she had made a connection there, because she

had never felt a part of the church where they had gone. Bigger does not alwaysmean better, and the church they went to had three morning services, so it couldpresent a problem if you were shy. And Anna Jo had always been shy.

But now they were seeing her come out of her shell. She was blossoming before their very eyes and it was a wonderful sight. And they wanted to do anything they could to help, so they eagerly took her to the church of her choice.

As they made their way in, Anna Jo had quickly spotted Rendon and hadimmediately left them to fend for themselves. She was going to sit with him and theyouth group; Jack and Kay could sit wherever they wanted.

Anna Jo was beaming all through church and on the way home. Talking non-stop about what she had gotten out of the sermon and about what they haddiscussed in class, she hardly came up for air. Seeing this new side to Anna Jo was arelief and an answered prayer.

“You know,” Anna Jo told Jack and Kay, “I really do believe in guardianangels,” she said.

“And why is that?” Kay asked as they came up the driveway at GuardianHome. “Because I’m here. And I just think that they have to have been looking

out for me.”“Well, I’m sure you’re right,” agreed Kay, turning to look at Anna Jo in the

back seat. Jack looked at Kay, smiled and patted her hand, and nodded. This was the

girl they had been praying for and just hoping that she would find her way. Andtoday was a milestone. It was a day they would all never forget.

*

Peter drove around and around, looking for Tony’s car. He first went tothe house, then drove to the apartment, but found no signs of Claire anywhere.Frantic with worry, he began to drive aimlessly, praying for any sign of her.

Driving past the business where Claire worked, he knew she had taken aleave of absence and had no reason to be there, but he had to check it out. She had



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to be somewhere and as desperation set in he began grasping at straws. Each timehe thought of a new place to go, he thought maybe she’ll be there , but each time he wasmet with emptiness and disappointment. He could find no sign of Claire.

Finally deciding that if she was going to go anywhere it would be back tothe house, so he drove back and parked his car and waiting in front of the house,

lights off, windows down, lifting up prayer after prayer, Lord keep her safe, Lord keepher safe, Lord keep her safe…

*

As the sun began to go down, Anna Jo lay back on the quilt and looked upthrough the trees, quietly starting to hum some of the praise songs the youth grouphad taught her.

Several of the children were on the swing set; a couple more were playing in

the playhouse.“I like that one,” little Elizabeth said as she left the playhouse and walked

over to Anna Jo. “It makes me happy.” Anna Jo turned over onto her stomach, “Me, too,” she said to Elizabeth. As the two carried on a lively conversation about the song and what the

words meant, Anna Jo saw a car driving up to the home. The glare from the setting sun made it difficult to see, but it seemed vaguely familiar, yet she couldn’t quiteplace it until it was close. Sitting up, she held her hand above her eyes to block thesun and when she finally could see who was driving, her heart stopped and breath

caught in her throat. Anna Jo sat up slowly, not wanting to scare the little girl. “Elizabeth,”

Anna Jo said calmly, “please go in the house and tell Papa Jack to come here.”“Why?” Elizabeth protested. “I’m having fun and I don’t want to.”“Elizabeth, please this is important. Please,” she begged. “Look I’ll give

you a treat if you will, okay?” she said hoping the bribe would work quicker thandemanding obedience.

Elizabeth smiled as she stood up, “Chocolate, right?” she asked with wide

eyes. “Yes,” came Anna Jo’s reply, as the car pulled into the parking lot and thedoor opened. “Now run. Run fast, okay?” she pleaded.

“You’ll watch me?” Elizabeth eagerly asked.“Of course” Anna Jo replied and without any hesitation she said in one

breath, “On your mark, get set, go!” And off as swiftly as her little legs could carry her, Elizabeth ran down the sidewalk, up the cement stairs, across the porch, intothe house screaming, “Papa Jack! Papa Jack! Papa Jack!”

Anna Jo smelled her before she could get close. The overly sweet perfume

permeated the air, clinging to the wind like a suffocating sweet scent that made yousick to your stomach. The last encounter she had had with her mother had beenhorrible. Her mother had begged Anna Jo to help her, and then threatened her if she didn’t. And when the police had dragged her off, it had broken Anna Jo’s



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As Claire sat in the restaurant, she tried to figure out what her next stepshould be. They had gone to various places, buying outrageous items, of courseusing her charge card. And with each purchase, Tony had said, “Got the high limits,right Babe?”

Never letting go of her hand, he would kiss her on the forehead, grab the

sack and head out the store.Finally he had said he was hungry and Claire knew that she needed to eat soshe suggested a small place near where the house was.

“Oh come on, Babe,” he had said rather pouting, “surely you can think of abetter place than that.”

“Look,” she said, actually engaging him in conversation, “you’ve beengetting what you want, so can’t we at least go where I want to eat?”

Hoping that maybe she was having a bit of change of heart, he gave in.“Anything for you, Babe,” he said as he closed her car door.

As they drove back to familiar surroundings, Claire franticly searched forPeter’s car. Surely he couldn’t have believed that she’d go with Tony willingly.Surely he would be looking for her. He promised me, she said to herself recalling the

words he had spoken only the night before, he promised he’d never leave me. Please, Peter, please believe that I’d never want to leave you.

Reaching the restaurant, Tony turned his nose up at the small building.“What kind of place is this?” he asked.

Quickly taking the opportunity to get out of the car so he couldn’t easily stuff her back into her seat, she said, “It has wonderful soup and sandwiches and

the best ever desserts.” Jumping out and locking the door swiftly, he caught up to Claire as she

made her way to the front door. As they entered, hand in hand she prayed, Please Lord, bring someone to me that can help me. Please Lord; please put someone in my path that can help.

As they sat down and began going over the menu, Claire’s eyes searched therestaurant for someone familiar. This had been her last desperate idea. She couldn’tbelieve that Tony had actually agreed to come here, but she felt that maybe her not

putting up a fight all day had lulled him into being less cautious.“This is NOT our kind of place, Babe,” Tony said looking around. “When we get everything settled and all the accounts cleared, we’ll blow this pop stand andfind where the real action was. Then it can be just like when we were married thefirst time.”

Smiling at the fond memories of their early married years, Tony recalledhow he had enjoyed having someone support him while he could pursue hishobbies and extra-curricular activities. Since their divorce he had hit upon hardtimes and had gone so heavily into debt that he had been planning on leaving the

state when he had decided to give Claire a call, to see if maybe he could borrow some money from her. Finding that her mother was ill and then quickly dying hadbeen a true stroke of luck. He knew her family had some money, but was blownaway when Claire told him that she had inherited a fortune.



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Laughing to himself, Women always fall for those sweet words, he thought and I am a master. She’s playing hard to get, but she’ll come around, they always do.

Claire continued to survey the restaurant, willing someone that she knew to walk in, but after almost thirty minutes, there were still very few people inside. Astheir meal was served, Claire kept up her ceaseless praying, Please Lord, please put

someone in my path that can help me. Eating as slowly as she dared, she decided to orderdessert. Knowing Tony had a sweet tooth, taking that time would not be aproblem, but Claire was getting desperate.

As the dinner plates were taken, Claire moved her chair back. Immediately Tony grabbed the back of it, “What are you doing? Where do you think you’regoing?” he asked.

“Tony, I need to go to the bathroom,” she answered standing up. “Surely you don’t have a problem with that do you?”

Looking into her eyes, trying to read her mind, he hesitated. Finally after

staring at each other, Tony begrudgingly allowed her to go, but his eyes followedher, never leaving her, until she turned the corner to go down the hall to thebathroom.

Putting her hands on the sink, she first splashed water on her face, and thenshe rested herself upon her arms on the sink. As her prayer continued to circle inher mind, she became aware of someone standing beside her.

Rising up, she looked and there stood Nora. Trying to place one another,Claire knew that this woman was her only hope. “We know one another, right?”Claire spoke first.

Nora smiled and then it dawned on her, “Oh yes. I’m sorry but I’veforgotten your name, but I’m Nora. Nora Turner. We met at Guardian Home theother day when the youth group came.”

“Yes…YES!” Claire said relieved.“I was in the room next to your mother,” Nora continued. “We have

mutual friends I believe…Jess Sanderson and Peter McAlister.”“Yes, please,” she began looking around desperately. “I need help.”

As Claire grabbed Nora’s arm, Hetty came out of one of the stalls and

around the corner. “Oh, Claire…hi,” she said.



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Chapter 14

Finally realizing that sitting in front of Claire’s house was not going to do

him or Claire any good, Peter finally decided to leave. It had been a long day, full of driving and worrying and struggling as to what he should believe. Thoughts andfears had worn him down and he felt drained as he started the car and headedhome.

As he drove up to the apartment building, the outside lights came. Getting out of the car he looked up at the moon and wondered where Claire was, praying that she was safe.

Lord what am I supposed to do? Peter prayed. Unlocking his apartment door,he heard his answering machine beep that a message had been left for him.

In frustration he slammed the front door shut and threw his keys on thekitchen table. Walking over to the phone, he pressed the play button expecting themessage to be from someone at church about something he had left undone orsomething that needed doing. Having not shown up to church for the day, he wassure everyone was wondering what had happened. As grabbed a pencil to writedown the messages, Claire’s, voice came on.

Stunned he leaned forward and listened closely, “Peter, are you there?” shesaid then paused. “Look…,” she began again, “Nora and Hetty have helped me getaway from Tony and whatever he told you, Peter, I promise you, whatever he said, if it was anything about him and me…it was a lie, Peter. You promised me that you’dnever leave me and I’m counting on that Peter. I’m counting on that.”

Again she waited for him to pick up the phone. “I’m at the Concord Hotel,room 372. Please, come get me, Peter.” Then she hung up.

Pounding his fist against the counter, he yelled out in frustration, “What was I thinking!” As the machine beeped again, he listened to the second message.“Peter,” again Claire called out to him. “Where are you?” she pleaded. “Youpromised you wouldn’t leave me, Peter. I’m in room 372 at the Concord Hotel.

Please come get me.” Almost in tears with the helplessness of the situation, he waited for the

third and last message to play. Again it was Claire. Running his hands through hishair he listened, feeling powerless.

“Peter, help me please,” her last message began. Claire’s voice broke,“Where are you? I’ve called and called and you’re not answering. Please come getme at the Concord Hotel, room 372. Hetty dropped me here because we felt that

Tony wouldn’t look for me here. Please Peter, come quickly. Please.” Then theline went dead.

“What was I thinking?” Peter spit out the words as he grabbed his keys,running out the door. “I was sitting outside her house like an idiot when sheneeded me. What an idiot!”

Jumping into his car he started the engine with a roar and squealed out of the parking lot. Knowing where the hotel was, he knew he could take a short cut



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and have only one red light and get there faster, than going on the main roads withall the red lights.

His prayer became his mantra Please Lord, keep her safe; just please keep her safe,Lord . Keeping alert to the traffic around him, he knew that every moment countedand he didn’t want to be careless, but he had to get to her. Please Lord, keep her safe;

just please keep her safe, Lord .Coming up to the red light he prayed, Let it go green, let it go green Lord, let it go green, and as he approached the light turned to green. Stepping on the gas, hehurried to go through the intersection. As he got in the middle of the intersection,instinct told him to look left…then everything began to happen in slow motion. Hesaw the lights coming toward him like a freight train. He floor-boarded the gaspedal, but it wasn’t enough, the car was coming too fast. Throwing his hands up,covering his face, the last thing he heard was the breaking of glass, the sound of hisscream…and his prayer… Please Lord, keep Claire safe.

*

Pacing the floor in her hotel room, Claire continued to check her watchevery few moments. “What’s keeping him?” she said aloud in frustration.

Deciding to call him one more time, she listened as his phone rang againand again and again and then finally going to his recorded message.

“Peter, I need you!” Claire began…

*

Sitting in the kitchen at Guardian Home, Nora and Hetty discussed Claire’ssituation. “Bless her heart,” Nora said, sipping her coffee. “I hope we did the rightthing.”

“Well,” Hetty said, “she didn’t give us much of a choice. I mean we namedoff several places we could have taken her, but she seemed to think the hotel wasthe safest, most public place to go.” Pausing for a moment, Hetty then added with

a smile, “I sure wish I could have seen that man’s face when he realized that Claire wasn’t coming back.”“I know,” Nora agreed. “You’re idea of exchanging blouses was brilliant.

She’s such a tiny thing, I’m glad she had chosen a nondescript t-shirt to wear. Idon’t think I could have fit into a shirt that actually fit her.”

Hetty looked at Nora, “Well, you could fit into it better than I could, that’sfor sure. I’m just glad that it was a bit chilly so that we had sweaters with us,” shesaid shaking her head, “and to have a scarf in your purse…why in the world do youcarry a scarf with you?” Hetty asked. “No one carries a scarf anymore.”

“I know,” Nora replied honestly. “I really don’t remember putting it inthere. My purse is so big, I guess I grabbed it for something one time and I justforgot all about it. But,” she said softly, “when I pulled out my brush to straightenmy hair, there it was. It was as if God had put it there, just waiting for thismoment.”



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“That’s pretty incredible, Nora,” Hetty confirmed, “it’s just so amazing,God’s timing. It’s really humbling to stop and think about the things he puts intomotion and how everything works out.”

“It sure is,” Nora agreed. “I just wish I knew the “end of the story”sometimes so I wouldn’t be so concerned.”

“Well, it’s like I tell the children, God has guardian angels that he putsaround us, and it’s not for us to know the reason why sometimes. We just have toaccept it, but we need to remember that we’re never alone.”

Warmly, the two women continue to talk and the conversation drifted fromone subject to the next.

“Well,” Hetty finally said as she stood up, “I had better get home.” Picking up her purse and then pulling out her keys. As she started to say goodbye to Nora,the house phone rang. She put her purse down and answered it.

“Hello, Guardian Home, Mrs. Putnam speaking,” she answered.

Nora sat back in her chair, thankful that she has been given a friend likeHetty.

“She is,” Hetty responded on the phone. After a short pause, Hetty told the person on the other end of the line, “I’m

the director of this facility and have full authority.” After a long pause, Hetty stood up straight, asking, “When?” Aware of the change in Hetty’s body language, Nora realized something

was wrong. Listening to only have of the conversation, Nora’s curiosity rose as didher concern.

“Yes,” Hetty answered.“And you’re sure?” she asked.“Of course,” she confirmed. “Yes, of course I can.”“No, that won’t be a problem,” she answered. “We’ll be right there. Which

room? Okay, and who do we ask for? Alright, thank you.” Hanging up the phoneHetty turned to Nora, “Anna Jo’s mother is in the hospital, asking for her. Thedoctor said we had better get up there, because he doesn’t think she is going tomake it.”

“What happened?” Nora asked as she stood beside Hetty.“It was a car accident. That’s all he’d say,” Nora told her.“Do you want me to go with you?” Nora asked ready to do whatever would

help.“I’m not sure. Let me go talk with Anna Jo and I’ll let you know,” Hetty

said heading out the kitchen door.Nora sat back down, folded her hands in her lap and began to pray.

*

Nora drove her car to the hospital, while Hetty comforted Anna Jo in theback seat. Soothing tones was all Nora could hear, and every once in awhile, she

would hear Anna Jo sniff.



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Turning in to the emergency entrance, Nora pulled to the curb. “Go aheadand go in here. “I’ll come find you in a moment.”

Hetty patted Nora’s hand as she climbed out of the back seat, “Thanks. I’llcome out into the waiting room as soon as I know something.”

Watching Hetty put her arm around Anna Jo, Nora again was struck with

the awesome ability Hetty had at taking control of a situation and handling it withsuch care and dignity. Even in the bathroom, Hetty had assessed the situation,come up with a plausible plan and it had worked, sneaking Claire out of therestaurant so her ex-husband wouldn’t see her.

Moving into traffic, heading toward the hospital parking lot, Nora smiled,“When I grow up, I want to be like her!”

Finding a parking place had been more difficult than Nora thought it wouldbe. Seeing all the cars, she realized there are always so many needs by so many people. It’s easy to think you know it, but you truly “know it” when you face those

needs head on at a hospital.Finally finding a space, Nora parked and walked in to the emergency

waiting room. Looking for a place to sit, she found there were few seats available.Settling on a chair in the corner by the window, under the television set, Nora beganto look at each person in the room, and began praying for them. Not knowing theneed they came in for, she prayed for them in a general way, that God would be

with them, that they could find comfort, that they would be healed, that they wouldfind there way to Jesus.

Smiling, Nora enjoyed the challenge of her prayer time, knowing she was

doing something much more constructive than reading a magazine or watching thetelevision. After a while, Nora no longer even heard the noise and hubbub in theroom. Her fervent prayer consumed her heart, mind and soul and time had nomeaning.

“NORA!” she heard her name called, startling her, not realizing that Hetty had come up to her.

“Yes, Hetty?” she said jumping to her feet. The concerned look on Hetty’sface made Nora’s stomach catch. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”

“You have to go get Claire. You’ve got to bring her here.”“Why? What’s happened?” Nora responded in reflex, “What’s wrong?”“It’s Peter…he’s been hurt.”

*

Running up to the emergency room reception desk, Claire virtually screamed, “Where is he? Where’s Peter?” she demanded, throwing her hands onthe desk, leaning over as if she was going to grab the receptionist by the throat if she

didn’t answer quick enough.Seeing the panic on her face the nurse quickly took charge of the situation

by coming around her desk, taking Claire by the shoulders and escorting her out of the public view, taking her behind the double swinging doors where everyone’sloved ones were.



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As the receptionist ushered Claire out of the emergency waiting room, Nora walked back over to the chair she had been sitting in before she had left to pick upClaire. Setting her purse on the floor, Nora looked around the room. Some of thefaces had changed, some were still the same. Once again Nora took up her prayer

vigil, but this time…this time it was for Peter alone.

Bringing Claire into a room to the left of the double doors outside theemergency waiting room, the nurse sat her down in a chair in the small office, justinside the door. Firmly the nurse told Claire, “Wait here. I’ll be back in a moment.”

“I can’t believe this!” Claire repeated over and over. “Please God let himbe okay,” she said rocking back and forth.

At the sound of the commotion and Claire’s voice, Hetty opened thecurtains and saw the nurse taking Claire to a room off to the side of the emergency room.

Turning, she told Anna Jo, “I’ll be right back.”

Anna Jo made no response, and Hetty didn’t really expect one.Hetty watched as Anna Jo continued to stare at her mother, listening to her

labored breathing. Hetty patted her shoulder and repeated, “I promise, I’ll be rightback.”

As quietly as possible, Hetty opened the curtains, then turned and broughtthe them together.

Following in the direction of where the nurse had taken Claire, she foundClaire sitting by herself. Walking over to her, Hetty put her hand on Claire’sshoulder and sat down beside her.

Watching Hetty enter the room, Claire asked franticly searching Hetty’seyes for any hint of truth, “Do you know how Peter is?”

Hetty shook her head, “No, I’m sorry. All I know is that he’s in surgery.”Shocked, Claire pulled back, “Surgery? Nora didn’t mention surgery, she

just said he was here,” Claire said putting her hands to her face. “God please lethim be okay.”

Hetty continued, “The details are sketchy but I know he was in the caraccident.”

“He was coming to get me,” Claire cried. “He was coming to get me, I justknow he was. It’s all my fault.”“Claire, don’t start that,” Hetty said forcefully. “That will not do anyone

any good.” Taking a deep breath, she continued, “Accidents happen.”“But why him? What happened? Do you know how it happened?” the

questions fell quickly out of Claire’s mouth as another sob racked her body.“We’re still waiting for the police. When I heard that it was Peter who was

involved…uh…here,” Hetty quickly corrected herself, “I knew you would want tobe here, so that’s when I asked Nora to bring you here.”

Hetty looked down at her shaking hands and tried to figure out the best way to handle the situation. As she sat there, Jess came around the corner andquickly moved to Claire’s side.

Seeing Jess, Claire sobbed, “Jess has David told you anything?”



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Jess sat down, and took one of Claire’s hands. She looked over at Hetty and slightly shook her head. Then she turned her attention to Claire. Taking a deepbreath, she calmly told her what David had said before he had taken Peter intosurgery. “Claire, Peter’s has internal injuries as well as broken bones. They’reoperating on him now and we won’t know anything for several hours.”

“What does that mean?” Claire asked.Hetty listened as Jess told Claire all she knew. With Jess’ husband being thesurgeon working on Peter, Hetty felt better about it. Seeing that there was nothing she could do for Claire, she caught Jess’ attention and told her, “I’m going back tobe with Anna Jo.”

Jess nodded, “Okay, I’ll try to come over in a little while.” As Hetty left the room she knew that it was going to get complicated in the

next few hours and she dreaded what the outcome would be. As she walked toward Anna Jo and her unconscious mother, Hetty prayed, You are sovereign Lord and you are

just, please give me wisdom, God. Please give me wisdom and help me to do Your will.



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Chapter 15

As Hetty sat down beside Anna Jo, she patted her knee. “Can I get you

anything, sweetheart?” she asked tenderly. Anna Jo shook her head. There was nothing anyone could get her, or do

for her. Looking at the battered body that was her mother, she knew that there wasnothing anyone could do for either of them.

Sensing that Anna Jo was at a loss as to what to do, Hetty leaned over and whispered to her. “Why don’t you talk to her? Tell her what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling. Just speak to her, Anna Jo. They say that when people are in a comathey can still hear, so just let it out, honey. Tell her things you’ve always wanted tosay to her but didn’t. Don’t hold back, now, Anna Jo. God’s given you this time,

make the most of it.” Tears began to stream down Anna Jo’s face. Hetty asked, “Would you like

me to leave?”“No,” Anna Jo said quickly. “No, I want you here.” Looking up at Hetty

with tear filled eyes, “I need you Ms. P.”Hetty hugged her, “and I’m here for you, you know that. And that’s why

now I’m asking you…talk to your mother. Tell her everything you’ve ever wantedto say.”

Anna Jo nodded, squeezed Hetty’s hand, then got up from her chair and walked over to her mother’s bedside.

Looking down at her mother lying in the bed, she didn’t look sothreatening. Anna Jo had never been sure of what her mother would do next andnow, she didn’t worry about that. She didn’t worry that her mother would get madand yell at her, or cry and beg her. She just saw her as a woman that looked young,but completely worn out.

Anna Jo began haltingly at first, “I hope you’re not hurting now.” Taking adeep breath, now that the first few words were out and the decision to talk to her

had been made, Anna Jo began to loosen up.“I wish you hadn’t hurt so much in your life, Mom. And I’m sorry that it

hasn’t been a good life for you. But I’m happy now, Mom. I’m happy.” Wiping atear away, she continued. “I’ve got a good dorm mom and dad and I’ve got somefriends. And Mom, I’ve been in the same place for six years and it’s great. It’s greatto have a place to call home. It’s a place I love Mom.”

“And Mrs. P’s been great to me, she really has. I think she’s the kind of mom you’d want to be, if you could have.” Beginning to sob, the words began tocome faster and more full of emotion. “Mommy I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help

you. I tried to help you but I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how, Mommy. I didn’tknow how.”

“I wanted to Mommy, but sometimes you made it so hard. You made meso mad sometimes that I wanted to hate you, but I didn’t Mom. I couldn’t.”



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As Anna Jo talked to her mother, all of the years of pent up anger and hurtbegan to unfurl and she laid her soul bare, not to hurt, but to help herself heal.

“Why couldn’t you be better Mommy?” Anna Jo asked as she finally sat onthe side of the bed, taking her mother’s hand. “Why did you have to…to…make somany bad choices? If I had stayed with you, Mommy, would you be here now?

Would you have made the same choices that kept getting you into trouble? Could Ihave made a difference in your life? Mommy I love you and I…I…I want you tolove me, too.”

Gathering her thoughts and taking another deep breath, Anna Jo continued.“The last time I saw you I was mad at you Mom. You made me mad because yousaid you were going to take me away from the only place that I’ve ever wanted tostay. And I could tell you had been drinking. You always tried to cover up thesmell with your perfume, but it didn’t work. I could still tell.”

“I just wish…” Anna Jo began, but then didn’t really know what she wished

for, for her mother. “Do you know Jesus, Mom?” she asked. “I’ve found Him andMrs. P has told me that we have guardian angels that watch over us and I’ve always

wondered where your angels were. Did God put angels around you?”Listening to Anna Jo, Hetty felt compelled to step in, to try and bring some

peace to the young girl. “Anna Jo?” she said trying to get her attention. Anna Jo looked up at Hetty, waiting expectantly, “God is in control and we

don’t have all the answers, sweetheart. He knows our needs and it’s up to us to ask for His help. And we don’t know if your mother has asked for that help or not. All

we can do is to trust Him and let go.”

Anna Jo turned back to her mother whose breathing had become shallow. Two nurses suddenly appeared. Anna Jo got down off the bed and went to Hetty,as the nurses began checking the machines that surrounded the still figure. Nodding to one another, one left and the other turned to Hetty and said, “It won’t belong…”

“Panicked,” Anna Jo turned to Hetty, “she’s going to die? She’s going todie now?”

Hetty stood up and reached out to Anna Jo as the young girl clung to her.

“I wanted her to love me like a real mother should,” she sobbed. “I love her and Idon’t know why, but I love her.” Anna Jo said turning to her mother. As the nursed stepped back, Anna Jo and Hetty moved up. Anna Jo sat

back down on the edge of the bed and again took her mother’s hand, “It’s okay,Mommy. It’s okay. You won’t hurt anymore and I’ll be just fine. You did good,Mommy, taking me to Guardian Home. You did really good and I love you forthat, I really do. I always loved you,” she cried as she laid her head on her mother’schest. “I’ve always loved you Mommy, and I always will.”

With tears trailing down her cheeks, Hetty looked up at the nurse and the

nurse nodded. Silently the nurse left the curtained area that contained a young girl who loved a mother that didn’t know how to love back and a woman that knew exactly how to love the young girl.

*



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As Hetty and Anna Jo walked out through the double doors into the waiting area of the emergency room, Hetty looked for Nora. Physically spent, sheknew Anna Jo needed the comfort and strength of a friend to help her. Hetty needed a bit of space and time to gather her thoughts for the next situation and she

needed Nora to help.Finding Nora sitting in the corner by the window with her eyes closed,Hetty guided Anna Jo over to her. As they approached, Nora opened her eyes andimmediately stood up, embracing Anna Jo. Exchanging knowing looks Hetty didn’tneed to say anything. Mary had died. Nora understood and in a fraction of amoment knew that Anna Jo was in her care for the moment.

“Let’s sit down for just a minute, okay?” Nora asked Anna Jo without waiting for an answer. Nora led her to a seat next to her own and gently guided herinto the chair. Anna Jo went willingly.

“I’ll be back,” Hetty said with a deep sigh. “Do you know if the hospital was able to reach Peter’s parents?”

Nora nodded, “Yes, I know one of the nurses and she was able to find outthat his parents have been notified and are on their way, but it will be hours beforethey arrive. The preacher is in with Jess and Claire now. I went in there for just amoment, but…well, I was needed more out here than in there.”

Giving Nora a quizzical look, Nora smiled and said, “We’ll talk later.”Hetty shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well, I’m going to see if they need

anything.”

Walking back through the double doors, Hetty watched as the nurse whohad stood by them only moments ago, wheeled a sheet draped body out and downthe hallway, around the corner and out of sight.

Hetty sighed deeply, and turned toward the living.Opening the glass door to the room where Claire and the others sat, Hetty

quietly entered, closed the door and then sat down. Jess looked up as Hetty sat down. Rubbing her stomach, she shook her

head, letting Hetty know that they had no new news. Jess stretched back into the

chair trying to get comfortable. The baby had been kicking like crazy, as if she wasready to come out right now. But she wasn’t due to arrive for another 3 or 4 weeks.“Would you like to go for a walk?” Hetty asked Jess.Looking at Claire and knowing there was nothing she could do or say, and

that there would be no news for at least another hour or so, Jess agreed. “Sure,maybe that will calm the baby down for a while.”

Struggling a bit to gain her balance, Jess grunted as she stood up, “Are youokay?” Claire asked.

“Yeah, it’s just hard for me to sit for long stretches of time.”

“Look,” Claire said, running her hands through her short hair, “if you needto go home, why don’t you? There’s nothing here to do except sit, and there areplenty of us doing that. Really,” Claire encouraged, “go home and rest.”

Then she added, “I may need you more later than I do now.”



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Jess hated to leave Claire, but seeing the wisdom in what she said, she didn’targue. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am,” Claire said, “really.” As Jess and the preacher exchanged parting words, Hetty stood by the

door, waiting for Jess so they could walk out together. Looking at Claire Hetty

wondered, How in the world are we going to tell you? And when we do, how are you going torespond? As Jess and the preacher hugged good-bye, Hetty followed Jess out.

Passing through the waiting room they saw that Anna Jo still had her head onNora’s shoulder and the two were deep in conversation. Jess and Hetty smiled atone another, knowing that Anna Jo was in good hands.

Once outside the room, Jess stretched her arms and back as best she could,

“Oh, those chairs are terrible to have to sit in for any length of time.”Hetty agreed and they began to walk toward the double doors. “So,” Hetty

started off tentatively, “what does Claire know?” Jess rubbed her eyes, shaking her head, “She knows that Peter was in a car

accident, but she doesn’t know what happen.” Looking at Hetty, Jess finished,“Claire has no idea that the car that hit him was Anna Jo’s mother.”

Hetty looked at Jess. “She just died, Jess.”



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Chapter 16

Why doesn’t the world stop? Anna Jo wondered. Don’t they know that my mother

just died? Looking out the window of the emergency waiting room, Anna Jo watched

Jess walked toward the parking lot to her car. She had stopped by and talked with Anna Jo and Nora for just a moment, and then had left. There are no words at a time like this thought Anna Jo, there’s noting anyone can say that can take the pain away. They try…but…there are no words to say.

Anna Jo continued to watch as people rushed in and out the hospital.Some people were hurting and some were talking to one another intently…but all of them were in their own little world. I guess I’m the same way, she figured. I get so

wrapped up in my own little world that I don’t see the pain that is all around me. “What, dear?” asked Nora, patting Anna Jo’s shoulder. “That was such a

heavy sigh. What are you thinking?”“It’s just that my world has changed, but no one notices. Everybody just

goes on their merry way and…and I feel so empty and lost. My mother and Ihaven’t been close in years, so I’m not sure why I feel so lost right now. I mean,I’ve been so hurt by how she’s acted and sometimes she could be so mean, but Ilove her…she’s my mother.”

Waiting for Anna Jo to continue, Nora said nothing to fill the silent space.She just patiently waited.

Just as Anna Jo seemed to have finally gotten her thoughts together and was about to speak, she saw several of the youth from church spill out of a car thathad pulled into the driveway of the emergency entrance. As they ran to thereceptionist, she recognized that Rendon was in the lead and was the one who wasquestioning the receptionist.

Unable to hear what he asked, Anna Jo watched as the receptionistremained professional and calmly talked to him. She watched as the receptionist got

up, motioned for them to sit down and left her desk.Rendon turned around, looking at the weary faces of those who were

waiting for word about their loved ones as well. Suddenly he spotted Anna Jo and without any hesitation, he quickly came over to her, bent down in front of her andtook her hand.

“Hey, Anna Jo, are you okay?” he asked concerned. “Why are you here?”“My mother,” she said, and then bent her head down.

Watching the tears fall from her face onto her lap, Rendon looked at Nora,“Is her mother…okay?” he asked tentatively, not knowing how else to ask.

Nora closed her eyes and shook her head.Rendon mouthed the words silently, “Is she dead?”Nora nodded.“I’m so sorry,” Rendon told Anna Jo as he put his hand over hers. “I’m

really sorry, Anna Jo.”



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“You know…” Anna Jo began without lifting her head, “I…I…when I firstcame to Guardian Home I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be with my mother.But after a while it got so that when she did come to visit, I didn’t want her there. Ididn’t want her to come. I didn’t want to see her because she either made me somad I felt I hated her, or she made me so sad that I just couldn’t stand the thoughts

of her driving off alone. I don’t think I ever felt happy when she came.”Recalling their last exchange of words, Anna Jo continued, “This last time, when she said she was going to take me away from there…I…I just couldn’t standthe thought of it.” Putting her hand up to her face, Anna Jo cried. Rendon satdown on the floor in front of her, saying nothing, just holding her hand.

After a bit, Anna Jo sniffed, wiped her eyes and silence settled in and took over. He and Nora knew that Anna Jo wasn’t really looking for answers. She wasjust speaking her thoughts aloud.

On occasion looking over his shoulder at his friends, Rendon checked to

see if they had gotten any word about Peter.Sitting there in silence, Nora hoped that Anna Jo would begin talking again.

She was glad that Anna Jo had spoken. That’s what she had hoped she would do.She wanted to hear what the girl was thinking, so that if it was necessary she couldintervene if her rationale became faulty.

Looking at Rendon, Ann Jo said, “I wonder if I had told her that I’d go with her, if she would be alive. I wonder if she would still have gotten drunk andran that red light. I wonder if...”

“Anna Jo,” Nora interrupted, “please, don’t do that to yourself.”

Rendon looked up as if struck, straightening up, but still seated in front of Anna Jo he asked, “She was in an accident?” He looked back and forth from Norato Anna Jo and then back at Nora with a questioning look that demanded ananswer, “She was drunk while she was driving and she hit someone?”

Anna Jo looked at Rendon confused as to why he would suddenly ask somany questions. As he spoke, his tone became louder and louder.

Nora gently put her hand under Anna Jo’s chin and lifted her head up sotheir eyes could meet. Then Nora looked over at Rendon, then back at Anna Jo,

saying to them both, “We can sit here and wonder all night about all sorts of thingsthat could have been, but that doesn’t change anything and it won’t change whathappened. Dwelling on the “what if’s” can only bring guilt or anger, and you havenothing to feel guilty for…nothing.”

Making sure that Anna Jo was truly listening to her, Nora waited for amoment before continuing. “Your mother made her choices and what you did ordidn’t do did NOT make her do anything. She chose to drink and drive. She haddone it before and by the grace of God had not had an accident that we know of.”

For the first time, Anna Jo thought about the other car. Until now she had

been so focused on her mother that she had not even thought about the driver of the other car.

Still looking intently at Nora she asked, “Do you know who she hit?”Nora hesitated. She had hoped that Hetty had talked to Anna Jo about

Peter and she didn’t relish the thought of being the one to tell Anna Jo. Rendon sat



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stiffly waiting for Nora’s reply, but in his heart he feared he already knew theanswer.

As Nora wavered, Anna Jo had a sinking feeling, “Was someone else hurt?”she asked. “Was it a family?”

“No, it…it wasn’t a family,” Nora began. “There was just one person in

the other car, a man.”“Oh good,” Anna Jo said relieved, but then quickly asked, “he’s okay isn’the?”

Rendon prepared himself for Nora to say that it was Peter who her motherhad hit, but she didn’t. Looking straight at Rendon, Nora answered truthfully.“He’s still in surgery, as far as I know.”

That was all Nora said. If Anna Jo wasn’t going to press for Peter’sidentity, she certainly wasn’t going to pursue it. She didn’t like evading the truth,but for right now, she felt it was best if Hetty told Anna Jo.

Rendon didn’t say anything. He stood up, looking Nora square in the eyes,his anger began to build. He looked at Anna Jo and his anger began to grow.

Anna Jo looked at Rendon as he rose and she became confused as to thechange in his attitude. Just a moment ago, he had been sympathetic and caring, butnow he seemed angry with her. For some reason he was mad at her. The look inhis eyes was one of condemnation and she was completely bewildered

Rendon, barely able to contain his anger, said curtly, “I’m going to go over with the youth group for a minute, okay?” Rendon asked, but didn’t wait for ananswer. He turned on his heel and walked away.

“Did I say something wrong, Nora?” Anna Jo asked.Nora patted her hand, “No dear. You didn’t do anything,” she said as her

eyes followed Rendon. He sat down with his back to the two of them and Nora’sheart broke for Anna Jo. Please Lord, Nora pleaded; don’t let this attitude follow Anna Joif something happens to Peter. Please Lord.

Giving Nora a questioning look, Anna Jo seemed curious, but didn’t ask any further questions about Rendon.

After a long time of silence, Anna Jo asked, “Do you know where Mrs. P

went?” “Yes,” she answered and offered no further explanation.Nora battled in her head whether she should tell Anna Jo, and then the

option was taken out of her control.

*

Bursting through the double doors, Claire broke free of the emergency room, running out the emergency doors into the night, followed quickly by Hetty.

Once gaining the outside, Claire froze, wrapped her arms around herself and took in big gulps of fresh air. Tears streaming down her face, she shook herhead, saying over and over, “He’s got to live, he just has to. He just has to.”

Hetty stood beside Claire repeating, “He’s in God’s hands, Claire. God isin control.”



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“During the surgery, they had to start Peter’s heart twice…twice!” Clairesaid weeping. “That’s what David said.”

“Yes,” Hetty confirmed, “and he also said that Peter was holding his own atthe moment. That’s what we have to focus on, Claire. David’s a good doctor, andhe’s done the best he can, he’s done all he can. Now we just have to wait and let

God do His work.” Anger and tears spilled out of Claire, “How can they let drunk drivers,especially those who have been convicted before, still drive? How can they dothat?”

“I don’t know, Claire,” Hetty replied. “I don’t know. It’s just a failing of our system.”

“Well, it’s sure failed Peter,” Claire sniffed and wiped her nose. “If thatperson had been arrested and put in jail like he should have been, then this wouldn’thave happened.”

“It wasn’t a man,” Hetty said without emotion.Claire looked at her. “How do you know?”“I…I know who it was.”Rearing back from her as if Hetty had been the one who was driving, Claire

demanded, “Who was it? I want to know? Who was the drunk that hit Peter?” Just as Hetty was about to said the name of the driver, Nora and Anna Jo

walked outside. Anna Jo had no idea why Claire was at the hospital, but since it wasobvious that she had received bad news, she told Nora she wanted to comfort Clairebecause since something bad had happened to her, she felt it would help her to help

someone else.Feeling that Anna Jo was reaching out, Nora didn’t want to do anything

that would squelch that desire. As they walked past the youth group, Anna Jolooked at Rendon, but he kept his head turned so their eyes could not meet. Nora

wanted to go shake him and tell him that Anna Jo had nothing to do with it and she was suffering right now, but she was reaching out. But she kept her silence. Toomuch unchecked anger would be bad for everyone and she didn’t want to add to thesituation.

Nora put her arm around Anna Jo as they walked outside. As they nearedClaire and Hetty, they were just in time to hear Hetty say, “It was a woman.”Clearly not satisfied, Claire demanded, “Who, Hetty? You said you knew

the woman. Who was she? Who was the drunk that hit Peter’s car?” With her back to the door, Hetty did not hear Nora and Anna Jo approach.“It was Mary Anna Carter,” she said.Stunned at hearing her mother’s name mentioned, Anna Jo screamed.

“What?” What did you say?”Hetty wheeled around, wide eyed realizing the truth she had just revealed.

Nora tried to hold onto Anna Jo, but Anna Jo pulled away from her grasp and ranup to Hetty.

“My mother hit Peter, Peter McAlister?” she said in disbelief. “You’resaying that it was my mother and… and that’s why the youth group is in there



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crying? Because my mother…my mother… it was his car she hit? She’s the reasonPeter’s here?”

“Anna Jo…” Hetty said reaching out for her.“No!” Anna Jo said, pushing her arms away. “No!” she screamed, “Why

didn’t you tell me it was the youth pastor she hit? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because Anna Jo, you needed to focus on your mother,” Hetty said trying to explain.“So!” yelled Claire. “Peter’s not important? Some drunk who doesn’t have

a clue as to what she’s done is more important than Peter? Is that what you’resaying?” Claire continued to yell. Putting her hands on her hips, Claire demanded,“I want to see her. I want her to know exactly what she’s done.”

Anna Jo looked at Claire, and Claire stared at her coldly, the samecondemnation she had seen in Rendon’s eyes, daring her to deny her the right toscream her anger at the woman who caused it all.

“She’s dead,” Anna Jo whispered.Claire stood frozen. She had no idea that Anna Jo’s mother was even hurt.

Anna Jo looked at Claire, with Claire’s words still ringing in her ears, Anna Jo turned and took off running. She didn’t know where she was going, she didn’tcare. All she knew was that her mother had not only ruined her own life, but now she had ruined the lives of people Anna Jo cared about.

Hetty took off running after her, but quickly realized she was no match forthe teenager. Suddenly Rendon was running beside Hetty. She grabbed his arm andin short breaths, Hetty pleaded.

“Catch her Rendon. Catch her and bring her back.”Rendon took off running after the darkening figure of Anna Jo and soon

they were lost from the sight of the three women. As Hetty walked back to Claire and Nora, Claire was saying over and over,

“If he dies, it will be her mother who killed him and I don’t know if I can handlethat.” Claire’s anger had been replaced by hurt and a dull knowledge that someonePeter cared about would be linked to this tragedy.

Hetty walked up to Claire and put her hand on the young woman’s

shoulder, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell both of you. And there was justno good way to say it, and I didn’t intend for it to come out the way it did,” Hetty said.

Claire was drained of all emotion. “When did she die?” she asked as shelooked up into the sky.

“About an hour or so ago,” Hetty told her. “Anna Jo was with her.”“Unbelievable,” whispered Claire, “I can’t believe it was her mother.”“I know,” Hetty said. “Anna Jo is having a really tough time because they

were not on the best of terms.”

“I was with my mother when she died…but it was nothing like what Anna Jo is going through.”

Claire looked at Hetty, “What if God takes him?”“Claire,” Hetty said with compassion, “then we’ll just face it and with God’s

strength we will get through it.”



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Standing there in silence, there seemed nothing else to be said, except topray for Peter’s recovery and that Rendon would catch up to Anna Jo before she didanything foolish.

As the three stood outside of the hospital, each lost in their own thoughtsand prayers, David walked out to them.

“He’s resting,” David said to them. “The next 48 hours are the mostcritical.”Looking through the windows into the emergency waiting room, they

watched as the preacher talked to the youth that had gathered.Finally convincing them to leave the group stood together, locked arm in

arm, bowed their heads and said a prayer that was lifted up to heaven.David patted Claire on the shoulder, and then looked at Hetty, “I’m

technically off duty but I’m not ready to leave Peter just yet. I’m going to go give Jess a call and let her know what’s going on. If you’d like,” he offered as he rubbed

his eyes, “follow me to my office,” he told them. “It’s just down the hall from theemergency room. You can wait in there if you want.”

Nora got Hetty’s attention and said, “I’m going to drive around and find Anna Jo and Rendon and I’ll take them home.”

Hetty nodded, “Good idea. Would you give me a call when you gethome?” Hetty asked.

“Of course,” Nora said, giving Claire’s arm a squeeze. “And I’ll keeppraying.”

Claire followed Hetty and David back into the hospital, past the praying

youth group. She was numbed with fear of losing Peter before they had really evengotten together. In such a short time they had begun to connect and it was aconnection that Claire believed was the one that could be for life.

It was more than Claire could take, and she began to cry as she walked.Being emotionally drained and physically exhausted, it was all Hetty could

do to follow David to his office. Wearily she followed him and once they reachedthe sanctity of David’s office, Claire sat down and Hetty gratefully took the chairbeside her, closed her eyes and began offering her own prayer up for Peter’s

recovery. Oh, Lord please…please dear God be with Peter. Heal him of his wounds and restore him to health. And Lord give me the words…please, tell me what to say to Claire and Anna Jo.There is so much hurt. Please give them peace and help us to say the words they need to hear.



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Chapter 17

Spinning her around, Rendon grabbed Anna Jo’s arm and brought her to an

abrupt halt.“That was stupid!” he yelled at her. “You could have been killed running

across a street like that without looking! What were you thinking?”“I wasn’t thinking okay? I don’t care!” Anna Jo screamed back at him,

trying to jerk out of his hold. “I don’t care!” she struggled. “Don’t you understand?My mother was the drunk who hurt one of the best men I have ever met…and youthink I want to live? He could be dying right now! You think I could live withsomething like?”

Trying to catch his breath, Rendon pulled her to the ground. “Just stop it,

okay? Just stop.”“Why?” she asked tormented. “My mother’s dead. Why shouldn’t I die?”“Because, Anna Jo…because I don’t want you to, that’s why,” Rendon said

realizing it was true.“Yeah, right,” she said not believing him, finally pulling free of his hand.

“Like the way you looked at me when we were at the hospital.” Hesitating for amoment, Anna Jo began to cry. “I couldn’t understand why you just got up and

walked away but I do now, Rendon. You realized that Nora was talking about my mother. You put two and two together and realized that my mother was the drunk.My mother was drunk and almost killed Peter…and you blamed me for it, Rendon.

You blamed ME for what my mother did, and so will others.” Sobbing as her heart was breaking, Anna Jo said through her tears, “And I can’t get that look out of my head, Rendon. I’ll never forget how you and Claire looked at me with such anger,like you could kill me. And I hadn’t done anything,” she sobbed. “I hadn’t doneanything. And I…I thought you cared about me,” she sobbed

“I do, Anna Jo,” he told her. “I do care about you,” he said again.“Yeah,” Anna Jo said wiping her eyes against the sleeve of her blouse.

“Well you have a funny way of showing it. Don’t you?”“I’m here aren’t I?” he told her. Rendon realized that if he had not looked

up just as the prayer had been finished he would have missed the exchange of angry words and would never have seen her take off running. She would be gone andhe’d be too late to try and catch her. Seeing her anguish talking to Claire and Mrs.P, it was at that moment he realized he had made a mistake. That it wasn’t her faultand he had been wrong to be upset with her.

“Yeah, but I still don’t understand,” she said. Pulling her knees up to herchest, she repeated, “I don’t understand,” she cried. “I don’t understand why it had

to happen. I don’t understand anything.”Moving over beside her, Rendon put his arm around her shoulder. “I’m

sorry, Anna Jo. Really, I am and you’re right,” he confessed, “I had no right to look at you like that. I don’t know what got into me.”



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“Well, the same thing is going to get “into” everyone else when they realizethat it was my mother who did this to Peter,” she said fearing, but knowing that it

would be true.“Well, then they’ll just have to realize that it’s not your fault.”

Trying to get the point across to her, he stated it again, this time making her

look at him, “It’s not your fault Anna Jo.”“She was my mother. I wanted to love her,” Anna Jo sobbed. “I wanted tolove her and now…how can I? She was a drunk and now she may have killedsomeone. How can I love someone like that?”

Sitting on the grass beside with his arm around her, Rendon was quiet. Hehad no answer to give. Wrestling with his own anger, confusion, fear and hurt, hedidn’t know what to say.

“We’ll just have to try and get through it together, Anna Jo. We’ll just haveto do it together,” he said.

“But how?” she asked. He knew she was looking for an answer, but hedidn’t have one and he wasn’t going to lie to her.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I really don’t know…but,” he said knowing that he was being given an opportunity to put his faith in action, because a verse hehad recited all of his life came to him and he knew that it had to be a sign, a sign forhim and for Anna Jo.

At his silence and waiting for him to finish, Anna Jo lifted her head andlooked at Rendon with searching eyes, “Anna Jo, I just thought of a verse,” he toldher, “and I think it’s the answer we’re looking for.”

“Really?” she said.“Yes, and it’s something like…I can do all things through Christ who

strengthens me,” he said. “We’re just going to have to depend on Jesus…and oneanother.”

*

Nora pulled up to the curb, relieved to have found them. She turned off

the engine and watched as the two teenagers talked. As long as they were talking,she didn’t want to disturb them. Lord, help those two Nora prayed. Help them to find their way, Lord. Help them to find their way.

*

Even though he wasn’t scheduled, David decided to make his rounds so heleft his office to Claire and Hetty. As they talked about Anna Jo, Hetty shared withClaire what a difficult life she had had. Claire began to see her own childhood in a

little different perspective. When the receptionist put Nora’s call through to David’s office, and told

them that Anna Jo and she were home safe, both were relieved.“I didn’t mean to get so mad at her,” Claire admitted. “It just seemed

that…”



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“Well, Anna Jo had no part in her mother’s drinking, and certainly nothing that has occurred regarding this accident,” Hetty said. “I just hope that othersreactions aren’t the same. You can’t blame a child for what the parent has done, nomatter how much you want to blame someone. You can’t take it out on them.”

Claire knew what Hetty was saying was the truth, but still, when she saw

Anna Jo, it was like she was looking at the person who had caused the trouble. Sheknew it wasn’t reasonable, but right now, she wasn’t thinking very reasonably. She wanted to blame someone, to take her hurt and anger out on someone, and Anna Jo was as close as she could get.

“I don’t know, Hetty,” Claire sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her headagainst the wall. “That’s going to be hard. When I see her, I see a personconnected to the reason Peter is fighting for his life and I get so angry.”

“That is not going to do anyone any good, Claire,” Hetty said. “You’re theadult here. Anna Jo is a young girl who has had more than enough trouble. She

needs your help, not your anger and hurt. She has lost her mother and she feelsresponsible for not only her mother but for Peter, too. Can you imagine how shemust be feeling?”

“No,” Claire answered honestly, “I can’t.”“Well, think about it from her perspective and then maybe you can get a

glimpse of her pain.” They both felt they needed the silence. No more words were needed.

Hetty had made it clear that no one was going to blame Anna Jo for this tragedy,and Claire understood that. She even agreed with it, But Lord Claire prayed you’re

going to have to help me. After a while, Claire looked over at Hetty and saw that she was exhausted.

“Go home, Hetty,” Claire urged. “Get some rest because Anna Jo is going to needyou tomorrow.”

Claire added, “Peter’s family should be here tomorrow,” she said a bitanxious. “I’m afraid they’re going to want to take him back with them.”

“Well, he’s not going anywhere until he’s better, so I don’t think you haveto worry about that just yet.”

“You’re right. I know…you’re right. So… go home and get some rest,”Claire repeated“Okay,” Hetty finally agreed, convinced that it would be alright to leave

Claire alone for a little while, until David returned.Once Hetty was gone, Claire rested her head against the wall in David’s

office, trying to keep her eyes open, yet the emotional roller coaster had drained herand she began to doze off and on. When she heard the soft tapping on the window of David’s office, at first she thought it was in her dream, but then when it persisted,she sat up and looked through the glass windows and saw two police officers

standing outside the door. Thinking they had come for David, Claire groggily stood up, opened the

door and told them, “Dr. Sanderson is on his rounds, if…”“Are you Claire Drake?” one of the officers cut in.



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“Yes,” surprised and suddenly awake, she answered cautiously. “Why? What’s the matter?” she asked, afraid that this might have something to do withPeter.

“Do you know Tony Drake?” he asked.Shocked and immediately on guard, she said, “Yes, why?”

The officers exchanged looks and nodded. “What?” she asked.“If you’ll please take a seat,” they said coming into the room. Clearly they were in control now and Claire was clear of nothing.

“I’m Officer Rollins,” said the officer closest to her as she sat back down inher chair.

“And I’m Officer Clark,” the other said then quickly got to the point of their visit. Officer Clark asked, “Do you live at 712 Wisteria Lane?”

Surprised by their question, Claire asked, “Yes, that’s my mother’s house.”“Does she live there now?”

“No,” Claire answered, “she passed away. I’m staying there until I can gether estate settled.”

“So, you’re staying there alone?” he asked.“Yes,” looking from one to the other, “What’s this about?”“When was the last time you saw Tony Drake?” Officer Rollins asked.“Look,” Claire said trying to give herself time to think of what she should

and shouldn’t say, “we’re not on the best of terms.”“Mrs. Drake, we received a 911 call from one of your neighbors. When we

arrived, we found Drake inside.”

“Oh, no,” was all Claire said.“We’ve arrested him for assaulting an office and resisting arrest.”Claire sat there and listened as the police described what had occurred.

“We’d like you to come with us to your house.”“Did he…did he say anything about me?” she asked.“Yes. He said the two of you were getting remarried and that he lived there

with you and that you’re going to sell the place. He also said that…that a PeterMcAlister had been stalking you and that you were going to press charges, but…”

Claire banged her hand on the arm of the her chair, fully awake and filled with anger at the unbelievable gall Tony had, Claire decided to come clean witheverything that Tony had said and done to her since her mother’s death.

Officer Rollins took notes as Claire described everything she couldremember.

As David came back to his office and opened his door, he was surprised tosee the officers with Claire.

“Officers,” he said looking at each of them and then to Claire, “iseverything okay?” he asked still standing by the door.

Claire waited until the officers spoke. She had been talking non-stop and wanted to see how they had interpreted her tirade.

“It’s fine, Doctor Sanderson. We’ve been getting a statement from Ms.Drake. We appreciate the use of your office.”



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“No problem, any time,” David said walking around them to sit down at hisdesk.

“Have you checked on Peter?” Claire asked.“No change,” he told her. Looking at her concerned face, he added,

“That’s good Claire. Holding his own is good.”

Claire nodded to David then turned to the officers, “Shall we go survey thedamage?” she asked. At David’s questioning look, Claire said, “It sounds like Tony was upset

when I snuck out of the restaurant, so he went back to my mother’s house and…”looking at the officers, and then back at David, “trashed the place.”

David looked at the officers, “He did what?” he asked.Officer Rollins stood and said, “We’re taking Ms. Drake there and letting

her assess the damage so we can add to the charges we’re currently holding him on.”“You have him locked up?” David asked.

“Yes,” replied Officer Clark, “assaulting an officer and resisting arrest. Andit looks like we’ll be adding to those charges.”

Claire spoke up, “Like assault and battery, attempted kidnapping, and threat with intent to harm, criminal trespassing, and destruction of private property.”

David shook his head, “Sounds like he’s been a busy guy.”“Seems as if,” replied Officer Clark. Turning to Claire he asked, “Shall we

go?”Claire turned to David, “Will you have Jess call me?” she asked.“No, I’m going to with you, Claire. You can stay with us until this mess

gets cleared up. I don’t think you’re going to want to stay in that house by yourself.”

“Good idea,” said Officer Clark.“I’m going to close up here and I’ll be over in just a little bit.”Looking relieved, Claire smiled at David. “Thank you,” she said, then

turned and walked out of his office.

*

As the sun rose, morning found Anna Jo still sitting by her window. Shehad sat there most of the night or what had been left of it when Nora had broughther home.

Her dorm parents had been kept appraised of Anna Jo’s situation and whathad transpired and they knew that she was in good hands. They had their hands full

with the other seven children in their care, and Guardian Home was all about sharedcare and love. And no one cared for all the children like the adults who lived and

worked at Guardian Home.

Jack and Kay waited up for Nora and Anna Jo, knowing that Hetty wouldgo to her house from the hospital. Finally Nora drove u, and she and Anna Jo gotout of the car and wearily walked up the steps to the house.

Kay hugged Anna Jo tight and Anna Jo felt comforted in her arms. Norapatted Anna Jo’s shoulder and said softly, “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”



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Anna Jo looked at Nora and nodded. No words needed to be said. Thegratitude was evident in Anna Jo’s eyes. She could not have asked for someonebetter to help her through the events of this horrible, long evening.

After Anna Jo had filled Kay and Jack in on all the details, she finally madeher way up to her room. Quietly tiptoeing to her bed, she then silently undressed

and got into bed.Filled with conflicting feelings, Anna Jo didn’t know what to think and by morning she was no closer to understanding her feelings than she had been thenight before. The only comfort she found was in the verse that Rendon had quotedher. She had searched the scriptures during the night, but had been unable to findit. She knew that when Mrs. P came, she would know where it was, so as the sunrose, Anna Jo watched the drive way and waited for Hetty to arrive.

When at last Hetty did arrive, Anna Jo’s head was resting against her armslying against the window sill and she was fast asleep.

*

Nora, as always the early riser, was on the front porch sipping coffee whenHetty drove up. Knowing that Hetty would come early, Nora had brought out thethermos of hot coffee and an extra mug.

Climbing the stairs on the porch, Hetty smiled as she spied the coffee, “Ha,Nora…you’re getting to know me just a little too well, huh?” she said goodnaturedly.

“I had a feeling you would be here early,” she said while pouring her frienda full cup and adding a dash of cream.

“It’s a beautiful morning,” Nora said handing the cup to Hetty. “It makes ithard to believe what tragedy filled yesterday.”

“Well,” Hetty began as she sat in the chair beside Nora. “We have two ways to look at it.”

“Really?” Nora asked in disbelief. “How could yesterday be seen asanything but tragic?”

“Let’s see,” Hetty began. “First, we have Anna Jo here with us and that’s ahuge blessing.”“Yes,” Nora readily agreed.“And Peter came through the surgeries and is still holding his own,” she

said. “I’ve talked to David this morning and he had already checked on him, so thatis a blessing.”

“Okay,” Nora agreed.“And let’s see. It was a blessing that only Peter and Mary were involved in

the accident. It could have been much worse if Mary had hit a family with

children.”“Well, that’s true, but I just hate it that Peter’s hurt.”“I know, I know, but right now, we’re looking for blessings, remember?”“Yes,” Nora agreed.



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“Okay…And poor Mary Anna Carter is at peace. God rest her poor soul, Ihope she isn’t judged to harshly. God is just and she had a tough life, but she diddo two things right.”

Nora looked at her, “And those are?” she asked.“Having Anna Jo and bringing her here.”

Nora conceded, “You’re right, you’re right.” Raising her hands in front of her, “I surrender to you’re list of blessings…you’re right…again!”Hetty laughed and continued, “And, let’s see…we both have our health, so

today we’ll be able to help those we love and hold dear.”Nora smiled, “Yes, life is a view in perspectives.” Looking fondly over at

her dear friend, “and I hope I always have your perspective around me!”“Me, too!” Hetty laughed.“So…how do you see the day?” Nora asked. “Do you know what has to be

done for Mary Carter?”

“This is a first for me, so I’ll be talking to the hospital, the county examinerand I’m sure they’ll let me know what all has to be done.”

“So, we’re assuming responsibility for handling her affairs?” Nora asked.“Of course,” Hetty said. “She is the mother of one of our children and we

do all we can to see to their care and their well being…and sometimes that extendsto the parents as well. The police are trying to track down her parents, but I’mafraid it doesn’t look promising.”

“I know,” Nora said. “Thank goodness you’re in your position rather thanme, because I wouldn’t be nearly as kind as you are.”

“Oh, I think you would be,” Hetty said. “Look how tenderly you’ve beencaring for that garden. You have a lot of compassion to share.” Then smiling a bitmischievously Hetty added, “God just needs to do a little weeding and you’ll beright where He needs you to be.”



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Chapter 18

Waking up stiff, Anna Jo stretched and felt the tightness in her arms and

knees. She pushed herself up against the window sill, trying not to groan and wakeup the other girls. As she extended her arms, trying to get the feeling back in them,she looked out the window and noticed Mrs. P’s car. Quietly she made her way outof her bedroom and down the stairs. As she neared the last step she heard Mrs. Pand Nora talking out on the front porch.

“Morning,” Anna Jo said as she opened the door and joined them on theporch.

“Well, good morning to you,” Hetty greeted her. “How did you sleep lastnight?”

“Not too good,” Anna Jo told her as she sat down on the porch step.Looking up at Hetty, Anna Jo asked, “What’s going to happen to my mother?”

Hetty reached out and touched Anna Jo’s shoulder. “I’ll take care of itdear.”

“I know, but…” Anna Jo hesitated, not sure exactly what she wanted tosay, but knew that she wanted to be included, “don’t leave me out, okay?”

Hetty looked at her, “What is it you’d like to do, Anna Jo?” she said kindly.“I…I want her to have a funeral or something. I mean, we can’t just put

her in the ground without some kind of…something can we?” she asked.“Anna Jo, I’m not sure what all will take place, but this I promise, I will

include you in everything that I can, fair enough?” Anna Jo brought her knees up, wrapped her arms around them and laid her

head on her arms. “Yeah, I guess. I just feel like maybe I should have done moreand since I can’t change the past, I want to have no regrets.” Turning and looking up at Hetty, Anna Jo said with her big brown eyes wide and on the verge of tears, “Idon’t want to have any more regrets.”

*

After David had called to say that Peter was still holding his own, Claire and Jess walked in the morning sunshine over to the house. They walked in silence. Jess wasn’t sure what to say. Lately, with Tony around, she had seemed moredistant and subdued and very unlike the Claire she knew. Some of the fire had goneout of her. But if last night was any indication, Jess felt that Claire was back to herold self…in spades!

When David had brought Claire to their home, she was raving mad. She

was pacing like a caged animal as she recounted every detail of what her mother’shome looked like. And if what Claire said was actually true, then the place wouldhave to be condemned.

“There’s not one inch…not one inch,” Claire said saying each word firmly and louder than the last, “that doesn’t have something broken on it. Not one inch!”



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she had yelled. Jess and David had sat quietly and just let her go. It wouldn’t havedone any good to have tried to stop her anyway. It would have been like a stick trying to stop a freight train…totally completely useless and Jess sure hadn’t wantedthat wrath turned on her, so she just let her go until she ran out of steam.

“The gall of him! Can you imagine?” Claire had said looking at her.

“No…I can’t, Claire” Jess told her.“He went through my mother’s home…MY HOME and brokeeverything… absolutely EVERYTHING he could get his hands on!” In frustration,Claire threw herself onto a chair across from Jess.

“Nothing was left untouched. He went through every cabinet and threw every glass and plate onto the floor. There is glass absolutely everywhere.”

“What about the knife, Claire? David said the police found a knife,” Jessasked feeling that that should be brought up, not just focusing on the destruction,but on the intended threat as well.

“Yeah, I hadn’t expected that. “Turning and looking at Jess, Claire beganto shake her head, “I mean, I should have, I don’t know why I didn’t. He put my photo on the wall and stuck a butcher knife in it. Every other picture or photographthat was on the wall was pulled off and destroyed, except that one photo.”

“And the police said…”“Well, they said that was “circumstantial” evidence of intent to harm, and

they said if I wanted to add it to the charges, they sure wouldn’t stop me.”Claire couldn’t stand seeing what Tony had done to her childhood home

and last night had just confirmed for her that she wanted nothing to do with Tony.

She had told the officers just what he had done to her and she did indeed want topress charges.

Only two good things could be said about the situation. One, theneighbors had called at the sound of the first breakage, so Tony only had time to getto the living room, dining room and kitchen. The things in her room and hermother’s room remained untouched. He had been so focused on destroying that hehad concentrated on each and every thing, so he didn’t have time to get to the otherrooms.

And the second good thing about the situation was that Tony was behindbars. Once she told Officers Rollins and Clark about his actions after he hadlearned of her inheritance, they had strongly encouraged her to come down toheadquarters and fill out formal complaints. The more they could charge him with,the more likely he would be to spend time behind bars.

As Jess and Claire continued walking toward the house, the idea of Tony being behind bars began to make Claire feel safe again. And with that safety, moreconfidence began to build. She wanted him out of her life for good and she wasready to do whatever she had to.

“Why does life have to be so complicated?” Claire asked Jess. Jess smiled as she pushed on her big round stomach, patting the baby and

trying to get her to move away from under her ribcage. “It doesn’t have to beClaire,” she answered. “It is what it is, and life is what you make of it.”



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“Yeah, well,” Claire rolled her eyes. “That’s easy enough to say. But whenthings are thrust upon you that you had no choice in…I’d say life can get realcomplicated real fast.”

“Well…”Jess said, still sticking to her stand, and trying to arrange the baby in her stomach to a more comfortable position, “I still think a lot of it has to do

with attitude.”Claire didn’t answer. She just thought about what Jess said and tried to seeif it applied to her situation

“What is so complicated?” Jess asked finally taking a good deep breath asthe baby moved.

“Life, living, having people in your life, caring for people, being hurt by people, even those that love you,” Claire sighed.

As they walked up the stairs to the house they saw the yellow tape that theofficers had put up the night before. Bending and going underneath it, the two

walked in and Jess gasped. She couldn’t believe all of the damage that had beendone to the house, a house that she had always seen as nothing but neat and tidy.

The place looked as if a tornado had gone through it, and thinking enough damagehadn’t been done, had turned around and gone through it all again.

“I can’t believe that one man in such a short time could do all of this,” Jesssaid walking carefully, not wanting to trip on anything.

“Believe it.” Claire responded.“So where do you go from here?” Jess asked.Claire wheeled around and looked at her. “Why did you ask me that?” she

asked.“I…well…I think it’s a fair question. Why? What’s the matter?” Jess asked

startled at Claire’s attitude.“Peter,” Claire began, “Peter asked me the same question.”“And what did you tell him, Claire?” Jess asked. “Did you ever give him an

answer?”“No,” Claire told her. “No…it was the day before I…Tony and I went to

the attorney’s office and I learned about the money.”

That had seemed like a lifetime ago but it had in fact been only a short time.“So,” Jess asked, “do you have an answer now?”Claire thought about it, so where do I go from here? Where is here? And exactly

what does it mean “to go from”? Couldn’t I be going to? It could be…“No,” Claire answered flatly. “I haven’t the faintest idea of where I’m

going or what I’m doing, or what I want to do.” Looking at Jess, Claire staredstraight at her, “I don’t know anything about anything. The only thing I do know itthat I DON’T know.”

Jess looked at Claire. “Well, it’s a place to start.”

“And how is that?”“Well,” Jess began, “for a while you seemed to have lost your way, rather

like this room.”Claire knew that she felt she had changed but she couldn’t pinpoint it.



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“Mostly,” Claire admitted. “He was the one to always have fun and docrazy things. I followed along, not saying a whole lot. But I realized that I was theone who was supporting us all the time and when I tried to get him to realize it, he’dcall me names, and put me down, and tell me how I knew how to ruin everything,that there were other women out there that were more fun.”

Shaking her head, Claire added, “You could say my self-confidence took abeating during that time.” Taking a deep breath she added, “So when I finally gotout of it, I made a promise to myself that I’d never let that happen again…but whenhe showed up, it was so easy to fall back into that old pattern.”

Claire stopped and thought for a moment, “It was easier to just get along inthe beginning, but I was so torn between him and Peter. Then when he threatenedPeter, I just closed down. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I didn’t want Peter toget hurt and I knew Tony didn’t have a lot of…let’s just say he’d do whatever ittook to get his way.”

“But I don’t understand,” Jess said leaning up against the kitchen wall.“You went away with Tony. What happened to change your mind?”

Claire laughed, “You’re never going to believe this, but we went to arestaurant and I had to go to the bathroom. Hetty and Nora were in there and I justtold them everything and they told me I had to get out of there and they helpedsneak me out.”

“How?” asked Jess, thoroughly engrossed with Claire’s story.“We changed clothes!” Claire laughed again. “We walked out of the

bathroom and out the front door. Thank goodness we didn’t have to pass in front

of our table. After we got outside, Hetty looked back at him and she could see Tony sitting there, drumming his fingers, looking at his watch. And they justhustled me out between them.”

Both of them laughed at the sight it must have been, Claire in Nora’s shirtand scarf and Hetty’s jacket.

“But now…because of this,” Claire said pointing to all of the damage, “I’mpicking up the broken pieces of my life and bit by bit, I’m going to piece together anew one.”

Jess smiled, “Good,” she said to her friend, “so, where do you want tostart?”Claire smiled back at her, “I think I’ll start with the kitchen, because we’re

going to need a lot of coffee.”

*

After Claire and Jess had surveyed all the damage at the house and Clairehad filed the necessary charges against Tony, she walked into the hospital and made

her way to ICU. At the desk she greeted the nurse and asked how Peter was. At the sound of his son’s name, Mr. Will McAlister walked over to Claire.

“You know my boy?” he asked.



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Claire stared at the man’s feet, which were huge and let her eyes travel up.She had thought that Peter was tall. Obviously he had gotten his height from hisfather because he was taller than Peter.

Standing there, smiling slightly, Claire said, “Yes,” she said.“And who are you? Are you Claire?” he asked.

Shocked that he knew her name, she answered, “Yes, I’m Claire. ClaireDrake and you must be Peter’s father. I’m glad to meet you,” she said extending herhand, “although I wish it was under circumstances.”

“Yes, I agree,” he said as he took her small hand and completely envelopedit with his own large one. Without letting go of it he said, “Come on and meet

Judith.”Being given no choice, Claire followed her arm, over to a woman who was

concentrating on the conversation she was having on her cell phone. Severalmembers of Peter’s church around her. Claire smiled at them and nodded,

recognizing some faces but unable to put any names to them.Pointing to his wife, Mr. McAlister explained, “Kids at home. I guess

Peter’s told you about the family…seven kids…four boys, three girls…two olderthan Peter, four younger and three of them at home.”

“Yes,” Claire lied. Peter had told her a little about his family, but family hadnever been the main focus of their conversations. She hoped that Mr. McAlister

wouldn’t expect her to remember the kids and their names because she knew she would never be able to keep it all straight. Claire and Peter had mostly talked abouthis work at the church and what he wanted for the future and she mostly talked

about her work and what she wanted for the future. The past was something seldom brought up, although now she wished they had at least discussed it a little.

Their relationship had moved slowly and only recently had it turned a corner intosomething more than friendship.

Still holding her hand, Mr. McAlister let his wife continue talking and he satdown beside her, pulling Claire down next to him.

Totally ignoring the others around them, he looked sternly at her. “Now,sorry to be so blunt, but I’d like to know what exactly happened, from what you’ve

been told. Several from the church have told us what they know but I’d like to hearit from you. What do you know? How did it happen?”Shocked by his forward nature and completely ill at ease, Claire was totally

caught off guard, yet she wasn’t going to back down. As Claire opened her mouth they heard Mr. McAlister’s name called.Recognizing David’s voice, Claire turned toward him, said a quick silent

prayer relieved at the rescue he provided. Mr. McAlister stood up, towering overDavid and said, “Yes, Doctor. What’s the latest with my boy?”

David acknowledged Claire with eye contact and a small nod of his head.

Turning his attention to the father, David began telling them the extent of Peter’sinjuries.

As David explained about the body cast, and the degree of the internal damage,Claire was glad she was still sitting. She knew Peter’s heart had stopped during surgery, but she didn’t know how broken up he was.



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“Peter is a relatively fit, strong young man,” David continued.“And that means exactly what Doctor?” Peter’s father asked.“He is holding his own and right now that is what we want. The next

twenty-four hours will be the most critical.”“But he’s going to be alright, right?” Mr. McAlister asked nodding his head,

wanting David to tell him what he so wanted to hear.Seeing the doctor come up, Judith finished her conversation, closed hercell phone and quickly walked over to her husband, linking her arm in his. Severalmembers of the church followed also.

“Right now,” David said, “I’m not going beyond that because that is my only focus… giving him a chance to live, doing everything in my power to keep himbreathing.”

Having just caught the end of David’s words, Mrs. McAlister was stunnedand began to wobble, clearly on the verge of fainting. Will grabbed hold of her arm

and David quickly reached out for her. Together they prevented her from falling,and backed her up to the chair that her husband had just vacated.

“Judith?” Will said, bending down in front of her. “Judith, are you okay?’he asked clearly concerned.

Nodding and looking intently into her husband’s eyes, she asked, “Will,could he still die?”

Mr. McAlister turned his attention to David, he asked, “Doctor?”David repeated what he had already said. Holding out hope and wanting to

be upbeat but truthful, David looked at the two of them, “I know this is hard, and

waiting is extremely difficult, but we’re doing everything we can. Time is what Peterneeds now and that’s something that can’t be rushed.” Then looking directly atPeter’s father, he said, “I’m a praying man, Mr. McAlister and I know Peter is too.So I say some petitions are in order.” Putting his hand on the father’s shoulderDavid smiled. “And I know He hears.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Will said appreciatively. As Judith caught her breath and became calmer she turned her attention to

Claire, “I’m Judith, Peter’s mother.”

“I’m Claire.”Smiling, still a little shaken, Mrs. McAlister looked at her and said, “I know.I can tell by the way Peter describe you.”



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Chapter 19

Nora and Kay sat in chairs along with Anna Jo on the front porch of Guardian Home. The house was silent because all the children had gone to school.

“Are you hungry?” Kay asked.“No, thank you,” Anna Jo replied.“Can I get you anything to drink?” she tried again.“No. I’m fine, thanks,” Anna Jo told her.

Again the silence filled the air, each lost in their own thoughts.Nora looked at Anna Jo and wished there was something she could do for

the young woman. Lord, what can I do for her? Nora prayed. And when no responsecame, she felt that what she could do was all that she could do…and that was to justbe there. No words were needed. There was nothing to say.

Hetty was dealing with where Mary had lived and worked last, trying toglean any helpful information as to where her parents lived. She had talked to thecounty examiner and was trying to figure out the best way to handle the burial incase no other relatives could be found. And until that was known, there wasnothing they could do, but sit and wait, and think, and pray.

Anna Jo knew that Mrs. P. was carrying a big burden, dealing with all of thearrangements for her mother, when she knew that Mrs. P didn’t like her mother.She had never said a bad word against her mother, but had never dodged the trutheither. Mrs. P was doing it all for Anna Jo’s sake and Anna Jo knew it.

Anna Jo was glad that her mother would be taken care of properly, but thenagain she felt guilty that Mrs. P and everyone had to go through it at all.

Quiet tears began to slip down Anna Jo’s cheek and she made no effort to wipe them off. She wanted to feel the channel they’d make and when dry she wanted to feel the path that was left. Kay reached over and put a tissue in Anna Jo’shand, but Anna Jo made no attempt at using it. These were tears that she wanted tofeel, because for so long in her life she had been numb. She didn’t want to lead anumbed life anymore.

Soon the streamed dried and Anna Jo felt better. Looking down, sherealized that she was holding Nora’s hand. She had no idea when they had touched,or when Kay had gone back into the house, but now, feeling the comfort of the

warm hand, she was glad for it. Glad that she had someone who understood thatsometimes a touch is all you need because there are no words to be spoken.

Sitting there in their comfortable silence, Anna Jo looked up at the sound of a car and noticed an unfamiliar car pull up the driveway, but from the suddenpressure of Nora’s hand, it seems obvious that she knew who it was.

“Anna Jo,” Nora said calmly. “Would you mind please going inside? I

need to talk in private.”“Sure,” Anna Jo said rising up out of her chair, glad that Nora treated her

like an adult by telling her the truth and not making up some silly excuse for her togo inside.



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“I’ll be in Mrs. P’s office if you need me, okay?” Anna Jo said turning to gointo the house.

“Okay?” she repeated to Nora as she heard the car door open, and thenslam shut.

“Yes, dear, thank you.” Nora responded not taking her eyes off the man

who was walking toward them. Anna Jo went directly into Mrs. P’s office and told her that Nora had a visitor and she didn’t think it made her very happy.

*

“When are you coming home?” Harold asked as he determinedly walked upthe porch steps.

“Come home to what, Harold? You sold everything in there.” Nora

responded.“I’ll get it back,” he said as he looked around. “When were you in there,

anyway?” he asked trying to turn questions back on Nora.Shaking her head, Nora said oddly calm, “Harold, it doesn’t matter. I’m

not coming back.” She had feared this moment and now that it had arrived, she feltnumb.

Looking at him, she didn’t recognize him, really. He looked different. It was obvious that he wasn’t getting enough sleep and she was sure that he wasn’teating right either. But the most important thing that concerned her was his

drinking. She looked at him closely, trying to discern if he had been drinking.Guardian Home was in the middle of a major tragedy because of alcohol.

Anna Jo’s mother was dead because she had been drinking and driving, and Peter, adear and wonderful man was fighting for his life because of it. Nora couldn’t standthe thoughts of anyone else getting hurt because of alcohol.

Finally after studying him closely she was able to tell that at least for themoment, Harold was sober.

Sighing heavily Nora asked calmly, “Harold, what do you want?”

“I want you home where you belong,” he said stiffly.“I’ve already told you, I’m not coming home. That place hasn’t been ahome to me for a long time, Harold, it’s just a house and there’s nothing for methere now. There’s nothing there but four walls with sad memories.”

Getting up in her face, he said, “It looks bad with you gone, Nora. I wantyou home.”

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Nora stood very still but answered,“That is your problem not mine, Harold.”

“No!” he yelled at her, his hot breath blowing her hair away from her face.

“It’s ours and I’m not going to have my wife living in an orphanage like some pooridiot that had no where else to go.”

Nora stood up, forcing him to take a step back. Looking him square in theeyes, with an even tone but with emphasis, “This place is the ONLY home I have,”she told him and as she talked, she walked forward, forcing him to move backwards,



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“and it is the ONLY home that I want to have and it is the ONLY place that I willstay,” she continued. Finally he had reached the edge of the top stair, and shestopped moving, but lost nothing in her intensity, “because it is the ONLY place

where I have received love and care and concern for me!”Shocked at her stern tone, Harold took one more step back, stumbling

down a couple of stairs. Quickly he caught himself and walked back up on theporch. Trying another tactic, quickly understanding that he had better leave thesubject of the Guardian Home alone, he told her, “You are not going to divorce meNora; I’ll not give you one.”

“Harold, I’m not asking for one,” she said surprising him. “We’re marriedand I have no desire to be married again, so I have no desire for a divorce. What Ido have a desire for is peace. And that is what I have found here. A peace that Ihad dreamed about, and had heard talked of, but never knew it existed and I foundit, Harold. I found it here.”

“But Nora,” Harold looked at her sternly, “your place is with me and I wantyou home.”

Realizing the conversation was going nowhere, because they were notdiscussing the real issues, Nora decided the subject could not be avoided. “Harold,you have problems.”

“I know that!” Harold yelled. “Don’t you think I know that?”Surprised at his confession, Nora continued in an even tone, “Then Harold

you need to get help.”“And I know that, too! I’m not stupid, you know,” he spat out at her, but

then admitted, “but I don’t know where to begin,” he said as he turned away fromher.

“I’ll help you find someone to talk to if you like Harold,” Nora offered. Whirling around, “Good, good,” he quickly said, “then we’ll go and we’ll

get counseling and we’ll…”“No.” Nora said firmly, quickly cutting off his train of thought. “This is

something you will have to do on your own, Harold. I will not go with you.”“But if you…”

“No, Harold. No.” Nora repeated.“Then what good is it if I get help and you don’t?” he asked.“I’ve taken care of my problem, Harold. You haven’t,” she told him.“And just what does that mean? As I see it you tucked your tail between

your legs and ran away.”“I didn’t run, Harold. I boldly walked. I took the steps I needed to and I

got out of a situation that was bad.” Taking a deep breath, Nora went on. “Now,you need to do the same. You’ve created a bad situation and you need to work itout yourself.”

Nora knew they were finally talking about problems they had had for yearsand it was like opening a wound to fresh air. It felt good to get it out in the open.

“This is a situation you created, Harold. You have a gambling problemand a drinking problem. It is your responsibility to get yourself help, not mine. Youhave to do that on your own.”



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Harold looked at his wife. He couldn’t believe that she was standing up tohim like this. His mother had told him to bring her back. His mother had said thatshe would help them, but Nora wasn’t cooperating and he was at a loss as to how toget her to agree.

This was a woman who he didn’t know how to deal with. At a loss as to

what he should say next, he continued to stand, trying to think of something to gether to change her mind, but he was at a total loss. For the first time he was not ableto come up with a quick retort and fast answer. The bottle had given him those and

without it, he was lost.Nora realized that Harold was stuck. She knew him well enough to know

he was struggling with his next move.Finally she had pity on him and broke the silence. “I’m not going anywhere

but here because I will not leave this place,” she said. “If you can’t find someone totalk to, Harold, I’ll help you find someone, but you’ll have to make the call

yourself.”“But when I change you’ll come home, right?” he asked.“Talk to someone Harold. Talk to them.”

Waiting for him to say something, Nora continued to stand by her chair.She couldn’t believe she had stood up to him. But she had. And now she felt arenewed strength that she could do whatever it took for her to lead the life that God

wanted her to. She was not going to close any doors, but she knew also that she would not travel back into a place that was a prison. Now that she had been freed,there was no way she was going to allow the walls of circumstances to hold her ever

again. Now the wounds of their marriage had at last been exposed to the light of day and now the healing could begin.

*

This doesn’t make sense, Peter thought, I don’t understand. Where’s Claire? I thought I picked her up? I thought…No…I was going to have lunch with Mrs. Hamilton, it’s Tuesday and I always have lunch with her on Tuesday

Why can’t I move? Why can’t I move? “Peter…it’s okay. Be still,” said the nurse, holding onto his shoulder trying to hold him still.

“Who are you?” Peter asked trying to clear his eyes.“You’re in the hospital Peter, there was an…”

As quickly as he had awakened, he fell back into unconsciousness.Luckily David had just entered ICU and heard the commotion. Quickly he

went to see what had happened, “Is he awake?” he asked.“He was,” the nurse told him, “but he’s unconscious again.”

The nurse shook her head, “It’s a miracle that he’s alive,” she said checking the monitors around him.

“I know,” David said, picking up the chart that hung on the end of the bed.“I haven’t had the heart to tell the family that he won’t be able to walk again.”

“Well, there is always hope,” said the nurse as she walked out of the room.



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“I’m afraid not in this case,” David said under his breath, “but prayers havebeen answered before. I just pray that he makes it through the next 12 hours.”

David looked at the still body of Peter, knowing that the road to recovery was going to be incredibly long if he made it through. With having a crushed pelvisand both legs shattered, he knew that surgery and medicine wouldn’t be enough to

make him whole again. That work was going to have to come from God.Peter moaned, resisting the restraints of the body cast, but quickly settleddown again.

David walked to the head of the bed and put his hand on Peter’s shoulder.“Peter,” David said in soft tone, “I know you can hear me. You have to

fight, Peter. You have to fight for your life. If you want to live, Peter, you’re going to have to fight for it because if you don’t, you’ll slip away and there will be nothing

we can do for you.”David began to talk louder and firmer, “Peter, you’re going to have to have

the will to live, buddy. This is one battle that is between you and the Lord. Thereare a lot of prayers being offered up on your behalf, but Peter, you have to do yourpart.”

Walking out into the waiting room, David walked over to Peter’s parents who were talking to the preacher and several other adults. Claire was beside them,but she was not participating in the conversation.

Poor girl, David thought, first she loses her mother and from what Jess says, she and Peter were just beginning to connect, and then her house is destroyed by her ex-husband. Lord she sure is being tried. Just let us know what we can do to help her Lord, just let us know.

Mr. McAlister was the first to see David approaching, so he grabbed his wife’s hand as David said, “Excuse me.”

Everyone turned and gave David their full attention. “Mr. and Mrs.McAlister, I just wanted to let you know that I have raised the restriction on

visitation, so you can visit Peter if you’d like, but only for 10 minutes.”“That’s it?” Mrs. McAlister said on the verge of objecting.

Will took Judith’s arm and they both stood up, “At least we can see him,come on.” Turning to David, “We can go now, right?”

“Yes,” David said as he walked beside them toward ICU.Once they were out of hearing range of everyone, David put his hand on Judith’s arm. Both Judith and Will stopped and looked at David.

“I want to prepare you, if I can,” David began. “Peter doesn’t look like yousaw him last. His face is swollen and bruised. He…it’s not a pretty sight, but I feelthat if you will talk to him, encourage him it will help. We have learned that peoplein a coma or are unconscious can still hear. They remember sounds andconversations that were around them, so it is very important that you be upbeat, notfalse, but…he needs to know you’re here.”

Judith nodded, as tears streamed down her face. Will held a stoic face andconfirmed to the doctor, “We can do that. We’ll do anything Peter. You just needto let us know.”

David nodded. “Good. I knew you would.” Turning he led them toPeter’s bed. Allowing them to walk in front of him, he waited for their first



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reactions, which were as he expected…a gasp, a cry, hands to the mouth muffling further moans, white knuckles, a deep breath, then the words he was waiting for…astrong, firm, “Son, your mother and I are here, Peter. We’re here for you and weknow you can hear us.”

“I love you, sweetheart,” Judith said through her tears, in a quivering voice,

as she made her way to her son’s bedside. “You’re going to make it through thisand we’re going to do everything we can to help you, sweetheart. We’re here foryou.”

Peter was motionless.“Son, we’re going to do everything we can to help you,” Will repeated.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he continued, “and you’re going to be okay son. You are. You’re strong and I know you’ll get through this. You’ve just got to putyour mind to it Peter. You have to.”

Trying to think of anything to say, he began to recall things when Peter was

young. “When you were younger,” he began, “and you wanted to play basketball.Do you remember, son? You couldn’t make a bucket for anything, but you

wouldn’t give up, would you? You spent so many hours throwing that basketballand practicing and finally, Peter, finally you got it. It became a part of you and youmade the team. You need that same determination, Peter. You’ve got to set yourmind on the goal, son,” Will said with tears spilling down his face. “This is the mostimportant game you’ll ever be in because it’s your life, son. You have got to play.

You just have to.”David patted Will’s shoulder, “It’s time Mr. McAlister.”

Will nodded. “We’ll be back, son, just as soon as we can. We’re nevergoing to leave you boy. We’ll always be here.”

Judith bent over and looked for a place on Peter’s face that wasn’t bruisedor swollen. Finally deciding to just kiss the end of his nose, she bent over and toldhim. “Peter, I love you son and I’m kissing the end of your nose because that’s thebest place to kiss you right now.”

As the two walked out, arm in arm, David watched as they gave strength toone another, knowing that the two of them had faced many good times and bad and

that together they would get through this as well.Once they were out of ICU, Judith turned and asked, “When can we seePeter again?”

“In an hour,” David answered. “That’s the rules, one visit for 10 minutesonce an hour.”

“Thank you,” Judith said as she looked at David. “You look tired, Dr.Sanderson.”

“Well, I am Mrs. McAlister. Doctoring is a hard job sometimes, but withpeople like you…well, it makes my job a whole lot easier.”

Smiling, Judith patted his arm. “Thank you, Doctor.” Smiling she added,“You’re a good man.”

David nodded and turned and walked back toward his office, to try andbegin to catch up on the massive amount of paperwork that needed to be done for



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his patients. But tonight, he promised himself, tonight I’m going to get home early to Jess soshe and I can have a quiet evening together.



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Chapter 20

Hetty was at her desk when Jack, Kay and Anna Jo walked into her office.

“Oh, good,” she said looking up from the paperwork that covered her desk like a blanket. “Come in, come in,” she said scooting a pile of papers together. “It’samazing just how much paperwork there is to running this place,” she said infriendly chatter, trying to keep the mood from being too somber.

“I’m sure it does,” Kay agreed as she and Anna Jo sat on the couch and Jack in a chair across from Hetty.

“Well,” Hetty said as she finally had a clear spot on her desk for her foldedhands to lie.

Kay sensed she was ready to talk so she started the conversation, “You

mentioned that you had some news regarding Anna Jo’s mother,” she stated.“Yes, I’ve heard back from the police department and social services,”

Hetty told them, then looked at Anna Jo.“The police went to the address listed on your mother’s driver’s license, but

it was the home a person who had not seen her in a long time and he was surprisedthat she had even used that address.” Hetty continued slowly, not rushing orleaving anything out.

“The police were able to track down the last place she had worked, but shehad only been there for a very short time, so the manager really didn’t know muchabout her.” Looking at Anna Jo, Hetty wanted to try and explain her mother’sbehavior, to help her understand her mother but she feared it was beyond any of them. “It seems,” Hetty added, “she had changed jobs a lot.”

Hetty paused wanting to give Anna Jo every opportunity to break in andask questions or if inclined, she wanted Anna Jo to talk. Her biggest fear was that

Anna Jo would close up; cutting herself off from them and that was one thing Hetty intended to prevent.

“They were able to locate a friend of hers, a lady named Rhonda Bailey and

from what I understand they had known each other for quite a while,” Hetty saidand then asked, “did your mother ever mention her, Anna Jo?”

Anna Jo shook her head. She remembered several of her mother’s friends,but they were not someone who Anna Jo felt comfortable with. Usually they wereloud and not very friendly, and it had been years since she had been around any of them.

Hetty continued, “They worked at the same bar and had just rented a placetogether.”

“Here in town?” Anna Jo finally spoke.

“No, dear,” Hetty told her, “it was in the next town over. It seems thatyour mother had borrowed the car she was driving without getting the permissionof the owner, who was a mutual acquaintance.”

“She stole it?” Jack asked shaking his head.



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Anna Jo covered her face with her hands as Kay put her arm around hertrying to comfort her.

“Well, there are conflicting statements on that,” Hetty said not wanting toassign any blame.

Taking a deep breath, Hetty continued, “The police are continuing to try

and locate your grandparents, but as of yet, they have been unsuccessful.”“It seems,” Hetty said tenderly, “that the only person who can provide any information is Rhonda, and right now, she’s not talking.”

“Why?” asked Kay. “Why wouldn’t she want to help Anna Jo find hergrandparents?”

“I’m not sure,” Hetty said, “I have asked if I could talk to her, but it seemsthat she wants to stay out of the picture,” she sighed. “So, I am waiting until I hearback from the police as to our next step.”

“And then what will happen?” Anna Jo asked.

“Well,” Hetty hesitated, “if they are unable to make contact with any relatives, then the county will pay for your mother’s burial, but…” Hetty waited fora moment, “I have spoken to the preacher at church and he said we could hold thefuneral at the church.”

Surprised, the three looked up at Hetty, “He’ll do that?” Anna Jo asked. Jack and Kay were too stunned to speak. They had hoped that it would just be agrave side service and then allow Anna Jo to begin a new life.

“Yes,” Hetty replied. “Closure is important, Anna Jo. Your mother was adaughter to your grandparents, and I believe she deserves a decent burial.”

Anna Jo wasn’t sure how to ask, but wanted to know, “But what is Mothergoing to wear?”

Hetty assured her, “I’ll be getting her things from the apartment and if youlike,” she offered, “you can help me pick something out.”

Anna Jo nodded, but remained silent.“For now, that’s all I know but if I hear anything else, I’ll let you know.”

Anna Jo was silent and made no attempt at getting up to leave. She hadhoped that there would be some clue as to where her grandparents were, but it

looked like that was not going to happen.Sitting on the couch and listening to what Mrs. P had to say, Anna Jo felt soblessed that she was surrounded by people who cared about her. She doubted hermother had ever had that.

When she had heard the conversation between the officers and Mrs. P thatnight at the hospital, Anna Jo’s esteem for Mrs. P grew by leaps and bounds. Withdignity and composure Mrs. P had handled the whole situation with a grace thatmade Anna Jo want to weep. Thinking back on it now, Anna Jo realized that here

was a woman who was giving another woman the dignity in death that she never

received in life. And Anna Jo knew it was all because of her.On several occasions Anna Jo had watched as Mrs. P had diplomatically

ushered her mother off of the property, either because she had been drinking or wassober and abusive.



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Too clearly Anna Jo called the early years and how her mother had treatedher. At the time it was just normal. But often when her mother’s temper flared,

Anna Jo would cringe and want to hide because the angry words were, more oftenthan not, followed by slaps and hits…but not with Mrs. P around. Once Anna Jocame to Guardian Home Anna Jo had never been hit again.

Yet through it all or in spite of it all, she loved her mother. And God andMrs. P had shown her how to love. Without them in her life, she knew she couldhave turned out just like her mother, but God’s grace had been given to her. Andher mother had brought her to Guardian Home.

*

“There!” Claire said, very satisfied with herself. Surveying the dining room,finally everything had been picked up, swept up, thrown out and patched. She

looked at the youth from Peter’s church that had come over to help.“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said wiping the sweat from her

brow.“Well,” Cooper said, “we’re here to serve. And since we’re starting that

service project, Community Mission, we thought that it was only fair that we helpyou.”

Claire smiled at Jess, “These are good kids,” she said.“We’ve been telling you that, Claire,” Jess said as she pulled up a chair to sit

down on. “And this is what they want to do…to help those in need, regardless of

what that need is.”“Yeah, experiencing it first hand is sure different than just talking about

what they can do.” Smiling at each one of them, “And they are great, and I bet,”she said smiling, “hungry, too. Am I right?”

“Hey, we can always eat,” Rendon said, speaking for the other workers.“Well, then I say it’s pizza in the park tonight. What do you think?” she saidlaughing.

Hoots and hollers followed and they began yelling out what the favorites

were. “Okay, okay!” Claire yelled throwing her hands up in surrender, “let me write it all down. I’ll call the order in and have them here, let’s say…around 6:30?”

One of the girls spoke up, “The girls usually bring desserts, Ms. Drake, andthe boys…” moans were heard all around, “the boys bring the drinks.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Claire said with a big grin. “So go get cleanedup and I’ll see you then.”

As the kids left the house, yelling “goodbye” and “don’t forget my favorite,” Jess started to laugh, “Are you sure you know what you got yourself into

here?” she asked Claire.“Well,” Claire said thoughtfully watching the last teenager get in their car,

“it’s something that Peter would do, and…” with her voice trailing off a bit, “sincehe’s not here it’s the least I can do.”



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“It’s really great that you’re stepping up, Claire,” Jess said as they walkedout to the porch.

“How can I not?” Claire answered. “I mean, he’s the one that broughtthese kids into my life. I can’t just walk away because he’s not here. I’ve got to helpkeep things going until he’s back” She didn’t even want to consider that he might

not come back.Shaking her head, stopping the flow of thoughts, Claire changed thesubject, “I’m going to take a quick shower then I’m heading to the hospital. Do you

want to come with me?” Claire offered to Jess.“No,” Jess sighed heavily as she waddled down the steps. “I’m going to go

lie down for a while.”“Well, come back tonight for pizza, okay?” Claire asked.“We’ll see,” Jess said over her shoulder, “if I can take the indigestion or

not!” she laughed.

*

Sitting on the front porch Anna Jo waited for Rendon’s car to come downthe drive. She had been so pleased that he had called and invited her to go over toMs. Drake’s, especially since her dorm parents Jack and Kay had agreed that shecould go. It would be the first time that she had allowed to go in a car alone with aguy.”

Kay had talked to her and they had discussed, or rather Kay had told

her…again…and then once more what the perimeters were for dating, embarrassing Anna Jo to no end. Enduring the talk and rolling her eyes only three times, Anna Johad let out a huge sigh when Kay had asked if Anna Jo had any questions.

“No, no…no questions at all,” Anna Jo had said quickly.Chuckling, Kay patted Anna Jo on the shoulder, “Good. Well, if you ever

need to talk, you know I’m always here.” Anna Jo hugged her and said, “I know, I know,” then ran down the stairs to

wait for him on the porch.

Hearing Rendon’s car honk, Anna Jo quickly jumped up out of her chairand started to run down the steps, but suddenly, as if Jack had been waiting just likeshe had, he walked out the porch door. Anna Jo froze at the sound of the frontopening. She turned and saw Jack as he smiled at her and began walking down thestairs with her.

*

Jess shook her head and laughed at the piles of pizza boxes Claire had

ordered for the group. “I sure hope you don’t expect to be fed by the other peopleyou help.”

Cooper looked at Jess and then with a big smile turned to Claire, “Naw,she’s one of us, Mrs. Sanderson…right Ms. Drake?”



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Claire was silent for a moment. Peter had tried to get her to come to theirchurch on a regular basis and she had been there on several occasions, but wouldnever have considered herself a regular. Yet now, these kids had shown her whattrue giving meant and their actions spoke louder than all of the sermons she hadever heard in her life.

Looking at Cooper, Claire smiled, “I’m getting there…I’m getting there.”Claire had never been comfortable around kids, mainly because she hadnever been around any, but now that she had spent time with them her feelingstoward helping them had begun to change.

Jess smiled and knew that Claire was already “there” she just didn’t want toadmit it. After Claire had said she was only doing what Peter would do, Jess feltsure that a bond had been made.

“Ready for another piece of indigestion?” Claire asked Jess, waving a big slice of pepperoni and sausage.

“Ugh, no!” Jess declared. “I had two pieces and I’m afraid that was three tomany.”

“Three?” Claire looked confused.“The smell has to count for something doesn’t it? It’s like roasting chicken.

Ever since I was first pregnant, I got sick on that smell and I still can’t stand tosmell it.”

“Well, you poor thing,” Claire teased. “Guess we’ll have to put you onbread and water.”

As the two continued a friendly banter, David pulled up and got out of his

car. Walking wearily up the sidewalk and onto the porch he asked, “Is there any leftfor a poor working man?”

Jess went and hugged him, kissing him on his cheek, “You name it andthey’ve ordered it.”

Wrapping his arms around his wife, he said, “Then bring me the chefs’special and I’ll try not to fall asleep before I finish it.”

As Claire brought him a variety of pieces and a drink, she looked at David with a hopefully look, “How’s Peter?”

David took a big gulp of the soft drink, gave Claire a big smile, and saidloudly, “Hey,” he yelled, “Hey, listen up…I’ve got some news about Peter.”Immediately everyone turned toward David and calmed down, moving

around so they could each see him. They had wanted to hear any information they could about the man that meant so much to all of them, and finally, finally there wasnews.

With a big grin, David began, “As you know Peter is in critical condition,and he still is, but…he has turned the corner and…” David hesitated for affect,“he’s going to make it!” he yelled and the whole area erupted in whoops and hollers

and shouts and squeals of laughter and hugs of joy. The love that was sharedamong the youth and adults on the porch was palatable. It was as if a heavy blanketof burden had been lifted from each of them and it was replaced with a feeling of euphoria.



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“Now, listen” David said, trying to gain their attention once more, “Now,listen,” he repeated loudly and then gave them a moment to settle back down,“Peter is still a long way from recovery a very long way. He is going to have anextremely lengthy recovery and there are still a lot of factors that we’re not sure of yet, but the important thing for now is that he is holding his own and that’s huge,

people. He really could have gone either way, but he’s a fighter and he’s shown usthat he has the will to live. We couldn’t ask for anything more than that.” The porch was more subdued with the latter information, but there was still

a feeling of relief. Jess stood up by David and asked, “Let’s say a prayer of thanks,”and before she could even finish those few simple words, everyone had already begun to stand, reaching for a hand to hold.

By the time the prayer ended, each person had offered up a petition forPeter, for his recovery and health. Only one person added a prayer for Anna Jo,asking for peace and comfort.

*

Watching the sky change colors, Nora sat in the kitchen thinking over thechanges in her life. They had been much like her life. They had gone from brightand shining full of hope and happiness, but in the end her life had been becomedays filled with darkening moods and unpredictable attitudes. Yet now, as the sun

went down Nora saw that the evening was a time of peace and quiet. The night would hold a time of renewal, a time for the world to rest and rejuvenate. And

that’s where she felt she was in her life. She had finally found a place where shecould rest, and think and actually contemplate what was best for her and her life.She had raised her two children as best she could and now they were grown and ontheir own.

Looking at the first stars beginning to shine, Nora used to consider thenight as a time of fear and darkness and aloneness, but no longer. Today Hetty hadhad to deal with the burial and funeral arrangements for a woman she did not carefor, but knew that she must, for the sake of Anna Jo.

And she had had to tell Harold that he would have to bury his old self if ever they were to get back together. Nora held no hope of that happening. Harold was motivated by outside influences. She could see that clearly now. And now,Nora was completely motivated by inside influences, the influence of the Holy Spirit.

In her heart Nora felt that the two, Harold’s outside influences and herdesire to be led by the Holy Spirit, would never meet and that was okay. Sheaccepted that she had no control over what Harold did, only what she did.

As the crickets began to chirp and the frogs began their croaking, God’s

nature filled Nora with a since of belonging. Just point the way, Lord, just point the way.I’m turning my road over to you.

*



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“Would you like another piece?” Claire asked holding a half of box of pizza.In unison the group groaned and all declined. Several burped and laughs erupted.“I’m not sure my mother would approve of that?” Claire laughed.

Jess and David had left earlier and the kids were settling down now thatthey had full stomachs and good news.

Anna Jo stood up, still giggling, wiped her mouth and began to take up theplates of others. As she threw the plates away in the kitchen trash, she turned toClaire and asked, “Would you mind if I used your phone? I just need to check in

with Kay.”“Of course,” Claire said, pointing to the phone on the counter and then

walking out the door. Claire knew that it wasn’t Anna Jo’s fault that her mother hadcrashed into Peter, but some part of her just couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help but

want to keep her distance from her. She knew it was wrong, but then sometimes ittook a while to right things.

When David had said that Peter was going to make it, she had almostfainted with relief. Standing up for the long prayer as everyone had said what they

were thankful for and how they wanted healing for Peter had almost been morethan she could take. And then when someone, with her eyes closed she didn’t know

who it was, but when they had had the audacity to pray for Anna Jo, she had beentempted to open her eyes and find out who would dare bring her up during theirtime of thanksgiving.

It had been one of the girls, she was sure, but she didn’t know which oneand it was probably best. Ugh! Why do I have such a dislike for her? Claire thought as

she continued to clean up. It’s not her fault and she had nothing to do with the accident. Then realizing it was beyond her, she knew she needed to pray, so pray she did asshe picked up the remaining plates and glasses and forks and napkins on the porch.

*

As Anna Jo returned outside, Rendon asked as he stood up, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I’ve got another hour or so.”“Good,” Rendon said, taking her hand, “let’s go for a walk, okay?” Anna Jo looked around and saw that everyone was caught up in their own

conversations.“Sure,” she agreed.

They walked down the stairs and headed for the park, holding hands. Shehad been in Lyndee Park several times, but had never strolled through it. With thesun setting, it was as if the streams of sunlight guided their path.

“Do you come here often?” Anna Jo asked.

“Yeah,” Rendon said. “I pretty much grew up here. I just live around thecorner from here so I’ve been coming here as long as I can remember. Plus,” hesaid then hesitated remembering the last time he and Peter were here, “Peter and Ihad been meeting here three times a week to run the trails. He wanted to lose alittle weight, but mostly to get in shape, which he was doing really good.”



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“I’m sorry, Rendon,” Anna Jo said softly. “I’m sorry that my mom…”“Don’t!” Rendon stopped her. “You had nothing to do with the accident

so there is no need for you to apologize for it, okay?”“I know,” Anna Jo said as she stopped Rendon so he would look at her, “I

know that in my head, but my heart is still so torn.”

Rendon didn’t know what else to say to her, so he just started walking again, and they walked on in silence, hand in hand, both lost in their own thoughts.Coming to the cement table, Rendon turned toward it so they could go sit

down. Anna Jo froze the moment she saw the area. Surprised by the jolt, he

looked at her, “Are you okay?” he asked.“That table,” she said haltingly, “I know that table.”Rendon looked at it. “What? The cement table?”“Yes. I know it. And that tree beside it and the…the…there’s

a…a…sundial. There’s a sundial beside it, isn’t there?” Anna Jo asked, but didn’t wait for a response. Turning loose of Rendon’s hand she began to walk fast towardthe table, and then she began to run to the table beside the tree next to the sundial.She knew the place and it was a special place, a very special place.

Catching up to her Rendon asked, “Anna Jo, what’s up? What’s thematter?”

Anna Jo stopped short of the cement table and fell to her knees. “I know this place,” she choked out, “my mother brought me here when I was about five. Ihave a picture of her and me and we’re sitting on this table. It was long before I

knew that she was going to leave me at Guardian Home.” Anna Jo’s voice caught,but as the tears began to run down her cheek, her voice was freed, “I have a pictureof my mother smiling and she’s holding me and we’re right here.” Reaching out shetouched the place where her mother had sat. “And we were happy. We weretogether and we were happy.” Tears trailed down her cheeks in a steady flow as sherecalled a time before all the unpleasantness, before all the sadness, before hermother’s life had been turned upside down with alcohol and drugs and in turnturning her world into a nightmare.

Rendon sat beside Anna Jo on the grass, not knowing what to say, so hejust sat there.“I had no idea this park was here,” Anna Jo said in a small voice. “I was

this close to it and I never knew.” Closing her eyes, she kept her hand on thecement bench, feeling the coolness of it. “The last time I was here my mother was

with me and she was happy and she was holding me because she loved me. Sheloved me.”

As the shadows covered the crying girl and the silent boy, night came in.

*

Nora walked in her garden as the moon took over the sky. So much hadgrown in the short time that she had cultivated this plot of land. Chuckling as beganrecalling some of the complaints of a few of the children, she was glad that she had



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been able to turn their attitude around by making a game out of the weeding andhoeing and general hard work.

Now they enjoyed coming out and seeing the fruits of their labor. Anna Johad shown a particular interest in the gardening and Nora was pleased. A bond hadbeen forged between the two. Both had hurting hearts that needed mending. And

God had done part of that mending by bringing them together.Nora bent down and took a closer look at the little tomatoes that weregrowing, feeling of several leaves, touching some of the small round green shapes.Smiling, she recalled how Hetty had put the two of them, her and Anna Jo, together.

Nora shook her head at the wisdom of Hetty. She had the god given talentof seeing a need and finding a way to get it handled. She used whatever means that

were at her disposal and made it work, or at least got the ball rolling and then sheleft it up to God to do the rest. And He had done a mighty work in her, and sheknew that He was doing a mighty work in Anna Jo as well.

They had spent many hours talking about their past while gardening andthen sitting in the tree swing and oh, how her heart went out to the girl. Nora hadhad a difficult time keeping her thoughts to herself as Anna Jo revealed things thatshe had endured while living with her mother. It was unbelievable that a mother, agrown woman, would expect a child to stay alone for hours on end with little or nofood in the house. Yet at the time, Anna Jo believed her life was normal and whenthings went wrong, whether with Mary’s job or boyfriend, Anna Jo always got theblame and the brunt of Mary’s anger.

Saying it as if it was an experience that every girl had, Anna Jo told Nora

that every time a boyfriend left, her mother would tell her, “If I didn’t have to worry about you then he wouldn’t have left me.” The other line Anna Jo disclosed toNora was, “If I didn’t have you, then I could work when I needed to.” Nora knew

what it felt like to be wrongfully accused, and how difficult it was to re-think oldthoughts. And yet, Nora had begun that process.

Recalling the conversation, Nora remembered holding Anna Jo as she hadcried, “I tried to be good, I really did.” Nora had told her in a soothing tonerepeating over and over and over, “Anna Jo, it was not your fault. You are not to

blame. It was because of the choices your mother made that her life was inshambles, it had nothing to do with you.” Nora believed that if Anna Jo was toldthat often enough, then hopefully she would eventually begin to see the truth in it.

But being estranged from her mother had torn Anna Jo’s heart in two.Nora could not imagine the suffering Anna Jo must be going through, knowing thelast words she exchanged with her mother were hurtful words, angry words, wordsthat were born out of frustration and fear.

Looking at the garden as the stars twinkled overhead, Nora knew she hadbegun to grow in a new direction. Lord, help me to be there for Anna Jo. Give me the

wisdom to say the words she needs to hear. Allow me the opportunity to be with her as Hetty has been with me. I have been given so much, Lord; please let me share the wealth of Your love with her.



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Walking back to the front porch, Nora turned as she saw headlights shinedown the driveway. Deciding to wait and see who it was, Nora stood there on theporch as the car pulled in and Anna Jo got out.

“Thanks Rendon,” Nora heard Anna Jo tell him. “Thank you for….well,for everything.” She closed the car door and Rendon backed the car up and drove

off, leaving a light cloud of dust floating up in the sky, as his car made its way fromGuardian Home.Seeing Nora standing there, Anna Jo came up and looked at her. As their

eyes met, Nora could see that Anna Jo had been crying and again her heart went outto the teenager.

“Would you like to talk?” Nora asked her. Anna Jo sighed heavily, “No thanks, not right now,” she said. “But, maybe

later, okay?” she asked wanting to leave the possibility still open.“Of course, dear,” Nora said. “Any time, day or night, you come find me

and we’ll talk, okay?” she asked wanting Anna Jo to understand that she wouldalways come first, no matter what Nora was doing.

Anna Jo smiled, “Thank you, Nora. I don’t know what I’d have done without you,” she said as she reached over to give her a hug.

Hugging Anna Jo back and smiling Nora said, “Well, don’t even go there,okay? That’s not an issue.”

“Okay. I think I’d just like to go up to my room. Are the girls all in?” sheasked.

Nora said, “Yes. I heard some giggling coming from there before I came

outside.”“Well…” Anna Jo started to say something else, but then changed her

mind. “Okay, good night.”“Good night, dear,” Nora called after her. Watching Anna Jo go into the

house and up the stairs, she knew that the girl was struggling to find her way. Lord, please just let me be there to help her.



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Chapter 21

As Anna Jo got off the school bus with the other children and teens and

came in to the foyer, Hetty called her into her office, and then closed the door afterher.

Hetty sat Anna Jo in the chair in front of her. Taking Anna Jo’s hands,Hetty held them more securely than firmly, but hold them she did.

“Anna Jo, we need to talk about the situation with your mother.”“Alright,” Anna Jo answered wide eyed and with apprehension. She

couldn’t ever remember Hetty being this intent before, so she knew something wasdefinitely up.

“Now, the police have finished their investigation into the accident, and

they have followed all the leads that they had regarding your mother.”“Did Rhonda ever say anything more about my grandparents?” Anna Jo

asked.“Yes, but” came Hetty’s reply, “I don’t believe they’ll be at the funeral.”“Don’t they want to see me?” Anna Jo asked, seeing her dream of a family

crumble before her eyes.“Anna Jo,” Hetty said very calmly, “when your mother saw them last, she

did not leave on good terms with them.”“But when was that? I wasn’t there.”“The police didn’t say,” Hetty replied. “All they did say was that your

grandfather refused to acknowledge your mother, and then he asked the police toleave.”

“But they’re my grandparents, too!” Anna Jo said trying to rise, but Hetty still had a firm grip on her hands.

“Yes they are, dear. But we don’t know what the circumstances werebetween them, but obviously it was pretty bad.”

“But didn’t they even ask about me?” Anna Jo said with a crushed heart.

“The police did tell them about you. Your grandfather told them to leavebefore they could give any detail.”

Anna Jo had no tears. She had cried so much in the last several days thatthis blow was just another in a long string of blows.

“Now listen to me, Anna Jo,” Hetty said feeling that Anna Jo was beginning to shut down. Still firmly holding onto Anna Jo’s hands, she said, “I have thoughtlong and hard about what to say to you regarding this situation. I have been praying about it ever since I found out this morning.” Taking a deep breath, Hetty continued, “I tried to decide how much truth you needed to hear, but then, I

realized that you deserved to know the whole truth. You said you wanted to beinformed, so I’m telling you.”

Anna Jo listened but some of it was going in one ear and out the next. Shecouldn’t keep it all in. The only thing that remained was that her mother was dead



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and that her only family left, her grandparents, considered her dead too. Now shetruly was an orphan.

“Did you hear me, Anna Jo?” Hetty asked, realizing that she had been lostin thought.

“What?” she said.

“I said that that is not the end of it. Right now I am sure they are hurting,just like you are, but we now know where they are and you will be able to write tothem in the future. But regardless of their relationship to you…you have us hereand you always will.”

At that Anna Jo couldn’t hold it in any longer. Hetty let go of her handsand Anna Jo flew into her arms and both began to shed tears at the unfairness of life and at the cruel way people treat one another. Hetty stroked Anna Jo’s long dark hair, feeling the silky smoothness of it, and Anna Jo relaxed under her touch.

After a long, exhausting cry, Anna Jo finally pulled back, as Hetty handed

her a sixth tissue. “So now what?” Anna Jo sniffed.“Well, we need to make plans for the funeral. As I told you before, the

preacher has already agreed to have the funeral at the church. I have spoken withthe county and they said that the burial needs to take place tomorrow.”

Anna Jo shook her head, “What was I doing this time last week?” sheasked. “I can’t even remember,” she said. “It seems like a lifetime ago.”

“Sweetheart,” Hetty said looking at her, “it was. Things like this have a way of making us grow up fast. But that doesn’t mean that life can’t be good. It’s justgoing to be different, that’s all. It will be your new normal. And Anna Jo,” Hetty

stopped, making sure she was listening, “you’re going to have a lot of new normals.”“But I don’t know if I’m ready for them,” Anna Jo told her.“Sometimes we make the choices that change things and then other times,

the changes are thrust on us. When that happens, we just have to take it and ask God to send his angels to surround us and help us just like they did with Jesus onthe cross. God will do no less for us.”

Anna Jo hadn’t thought about it that way. Mrs. P always had a way of bringing a new perspective on things, helping you to see beyond what was going on

to a broader view that included God.“So…” Hetty continued, “I have contacted the preacher and we’re to be atthe church at 4:00 tomorrow. Then we’ll go to the gravesite and after that, we’regoing to have supper at the church.”

“Okay,” Anna Jo agreed. “Is there anything I need to do?”“Do you want to help decide what your mother will wear?” asked Hetty.

Anna Jo thought for just a moment then nodded.“Well,” Hetty said as she stood and went around her desk to pick up a sack.“I picked these out of your mother’s things, and thought that maybe you’d

like to decide.” Hetty told her being as sensitive as she could.Pulling the dresses from the sack, Anna Jo remembered each one on her

mother, so the decision was easy. “This one,” Anna Jo said holding up a multi-blueprinted jersey dress. “She loved the feel of it.” Anna Jo lifted the dress up to hercheek and felt the cool cloth beneath her fingers. Holding it close to her nose, she



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looked up and smiled, “it smells like my mother,” she said through teary eyes. “Itstill smells like her.”

*

“I’m not going,” Claire said firmly into the phone. Jess listened to the one sided conversation and knew what was being saidon the other end of the line.

“No,” Claire said. “There is no reason for me to be there.” After a short pause, Claire’s voice rose in tone, “No it is not!” she said

rather indignant. “As if my presence would make a difference to anyone.”“It would not!” Claire declared. “I am not being stubborn. I’m being

realistic.” Jess waited, seeing if Claire could be won over. She already had her own

little speech ready, if the caller could not convince Claire otherwise.“Oh, I know that,” Claire sighed, “and I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”Claire shook her head, “I’m sorry. I really am, but right now…well, right

now I…I can’t.”Clicking the phone off and laying the portable phone on the kitchen

counter, Claire looked at Jess. “Please, Jess. Don’t start on me, okay?” Claire askedbefore Jess could open her mouth.

“That’s fine,” Jess said walking over to the sink and washing her hands. “Ididn’t really expect you to be able to go to the funeral.”

“Good,” Claire said. “At least someone understands me.”“I mean,” Jess took a deep breath and began, “if I were in your shoes, it

would be hard to face the daughter of the person who had critically injuredsomeone I care about.”

“Thank you,” Claire said as she began to wash cups.It had become a ritual for Jess to come over most evenings and share either

hot or iced tea, depending on the weather and the mood.“I mean,” Jess continued, “Peter sure wouldn’t do it. He’d be one of the

first to hold his ground. He’s like that, you know.”Claire was silent, suddenly feeling like she was being hemmed in and baited.“Peter is not one to forgive and forget, no sir. If it’s one thing we know

about Peter, it’s that he really knows how to hold a grudge.”“Jess, just stop it, okay?” Claire said with a sinking feeling. Here she truly

thought that Jess was going to be on her side of this issue.“Sure, no problem,” Jess said wiping her hands. “It’s just that when Peter

asks I was just wondering what you were going to tell him.”“What do you mean? Tell him what?” Claire asked confused.

“He’s very fond of Anna Jo, and you know that she and Rendon are kind of an “item” and you know how close he and Rendon are. So,” Jess hesitated foreffect, “I was just wondering what you were going to tell him about you being therefor her because you knew he couldn’t be.”



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“She has Rendon and the kids from Guardian Home that are going to bethere. Good grief it doesn’t matter whether I’m there or not!” Claire said on the

verge of yelling. Jess continued talking in an even tone. “Why are you so upset, Claire?

What’s bothering you?”

Throwing her dish towel down, Claire blurted out, “Everyone is pushing me to go to the funeral of a woman who was a drunk and who caused the accidentthat Peter almost died in…THAT’S what’s bothering me. I HATE that woman andthere’s no way that I’m going to do anything to…to…”

“To help her daughter through it?” Jess finished the sentence for her.“No!” Claire whirled around. “This has nothing to do with Anna Jo.”Still maintaining her composure, Jess continued. “I think it has everything

to do with Anna Jo. Last night right before I left, I saw how you greeted her andRendon. It was obvious Claire. You’re not that good of an actress.”

“What?” Claire asked.“The moment you saw her, it was clear you blamed her for the accident.”“I did not,” Claire denied.“But you did and you still do, Claire and that attitude hurts everyone,” Jess

continued.“Look,” Claire began, “I have been going through the most trying time of

my life here, Jess. I’ve lost my marriage, my father, my mother and then everything that has happened between Tony and me, his threats, his destroying my home andnow he’s in jail and I have to face the court issues. Then this with Peter. I just want

a break…okay? Is that too much to ask for? Is it?” Claire demanded. She felt shehad pleaded her case pretty good and that Jess should just back off.

Jess just looked at her and said, “You know, Claire, sometimes it’s going through those things that allow us to be of help to others.”

“So what exactly is THAT supposed to mean?” Claire challenged.“Have you ever been falsely accused?” Jess said quietly, then opened the

kitchen door and softly shut it behind her.

*

The knock on Anna Jo’s bedroom door came as no surprise. She and thethree other girls had been sitting on her bed talking about what was to take placethat afternoon.

Kay popped her head in and looked at all the girls. Each one had on theirbest Sunday dress. Their hair was combed, shoes were on and the room was filled

with an unfamiliar quietness. As Kay opened the door and walked over to Anna Jo’s bed, she asked, “Can we talk for just a minute, girls?”

Sitting down on the edge of the window sill, Kay looked first at Anna Jo,“You know,” she said reaching out and taking hold of Anna Jo’s hand, “if there isanything you need or want, you just have to say the word, okay?”

Anna Jo nodded, giving Kay a grateful smile.



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“And we,” Kay turned to the girls, “need to be support Anna Jo in any way we can, alright?”

“In Psalms 91:11 and 12 it says that God gives angels to watch over us. Well right now, we’re going to be those angels. We’re going to be God’s hands andfeet,” Kay looked from girl to girl and then continued, “we’re going to be His words

of encouragement and His arms of comfort.” Taking a deep breath, Kay looked back at Anna Jo, “After the funeral andburial, we’ll be going back to the church. Several ladies have provided food and

we’re going to go there for supper.”“Why?” asked Hailey, one of the youngest girls in the room.“Well, it’s good for the family to share food together after such a difficult

time and this way we can sit and talk and support one another.” All of the girls nodded and began clearing off the bed. Anna Jo stood up

last and as she did, the girls gathered around her and surrounded her in a group hug.

For the moment Anna Jo knew she was strong, but she wasn’t sure how long she would be able to hold back the tears. She had never seen a dead body before, and with it being her mother she was afraid she wouldn’t handle it very well.

Yet knowing she was surrounded by friends she knew she would make it throughthe day…she had to. Somehow she had to make Claire Drake understand how sorry she was about Peter and that if could have, she would have taken his place.She had to make Claire see that the accident wasn’t her fault.

*

After a sleepless night, Claire called Jess the following afternoon, asking herto come over so they could talk. What Jess had said the night before had made herthink, but she still didn’t feel she could go to the funeral.

Jess walked up to Claire, looking her straight in the eyes. “Think about itClaire. Right now you are angry and hurt. Who is it that you’re really mad at?”

Claire closed her eyes and sat down at the kitchen table. Jess pulled out achair and joined her.

“It’s just not fair, Jess. It’s like I told you last night, there has been so muchgoing on over the past six months, and now this. Peter’s up in the hospital fighting for his life, and I’m expected to be civil to the daughter of the woman who causedit?”

“Yes, Claire, you are. And it’s just as much for you as it is for her. Can youimagine how she must be hurting, not only that her mother is dead, but knowing hermother caused someone dear to her to be hurt. Can’t you see that you’re standing in for Peter?”

“Oh, no,” Claire said in total disbelief, “I am not standing in for him,”

“Think about it, Claire,” Jess said leaning her arms on the table. “Everyoneknows he is in love with you, and has been for a while. You’re the only one denseenough not to see it. He didn’t want to make a move as long as Tony was in thepicture because he didn’t want to sway you. If you couldn’t come on your own,then he wasn’t going to force you…and you did Claire. You left Tony and…”



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“Yeah, I called Peter to come get me at the hotel and on his way,” Clairebroke down, “on his way he’s almost killed.”

“And Anna Jo had nothing to do with it.”Claire sat quietly, only her shoulders moved as she cried.“So where do you go from here Claire? What step are you going to take?

Do you go to a hurting girl and comfort her, much like you wish you had beencomforted? Or do you sit still and keep the rage of unfairness locked inside you tofester and grow until there is no room for compassion and love?”

Now that Jess had broached the subject she felt she couldn’t back off. They had had too many conversations about Claire feeling abandoned. “Yourmother sat still and was afraid to come to you because you made it clear to her thatyou didn’t need her…but you did, Claire. You needed her and wanted her and you

wanted her to come to you. Your mother loved you with all her heart, she just lether fear and feelings get in the way.”

“Anna Jo’s never known that motherly care and love for her mother,Claire,” Jess said in a tender tone. “She had to take care of her mother, even whenher mother abused her, but she did it because she loved her and she was too young to know any different.”

“But why me, Jess? Why do I need to go there?” Claire asked finally feeling beaten but unclear as to her role.

“Because, Claire,” Jess told her as she reached to touch her hand. “Because Anna Jo needs to know you care and that you don’t hold her responsible.”

“It’s so hard,” Claire confessed. “I see her and I see her mother who

caused such pain.”“But Claire, they are not the same. You are not your mother, or your father

or Tony. You are you and so is Anna Jo. We don’t have to pay for othersmistakes.”

“But sometimes we do,” Claire retorted.“Yes and when that happens,” Jess came right back at her, “it is unfair and

judgmental. And it’s wrong, Claire and you know it.”“Jess, I don’t know if I can.”

“Claire, you can do anything you set your mind to and you know that. You’ve proved that point over and over. You just have to want to do it.”“And if I don’t want to?” Claire tried standing her ground.“Then I go back to, what you are going to tell Peter when he asks you

where you were when she needed you?”Claire was silent. She and Jess had said so many words, had so many

exchanges, and she was so desperately trying to hold on to a stance she couldn’tfully support, but was unsure if she could do otherwise.

“Go and comfort her, Claire. Tell her you know what it feels like to lose a

mother when you’re not on the best of terms. Tell her how it made you feel to try and make peace with her when you are afraid she couldn’t hear you. Let her know,Claire. Let her know she’s not alone.”

*



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Mr. McAlister sat at the hospital with several of the youth and the preacheras they explained the circumstances of Peter’s accident and about the funeral today.

“Well,” Will said shaking his head, “do what you must, and I’ll be righthere. The doctor said that Peter has turned the corner. His vitals are good, so he’s

willing to extend our visits with him.”“That is really great, Mr. McAlister. It’s the news we’ve been praying for,”Rendon said as he stood up. “I hope you understand about us needing to leave.”

“Of course,” Will said as he extended his hand. “With what you’ve told meit’s understandable that, that young girl sure has a lot to work out and she’s going toneed all the support she can get.”

Looking from person to person Will was so proud that his son had had apart in these young people’s lives. From the phone calls that Peter had made tothem, Will was able to identify a lot of them. Peter had an uncanny knack for being

able to peg a person pretty quick. Not that he would judge them, he just had theability to cut through all the false faces and pretense and get to the heart of them.

And that is what had made Claire so special to Peter. As Will watched thegroup leave he wondered if Claire would be among those going to the funeral of Mary Anna Carter. He rather doubted it, since she had been obviously upset aboutthe whole situation but yet, you never know.

Judith walked back from the restroom and noticed that Will was sitting by himself. “Where did everyone go?” she asked. “Is it already time for the funeral of that dreadful woman?” she said.

“Judith!” Will called her down on it. “I can’t believe you just said that.”“Well,” Judith continued, “I’m tired of tip toeing around the situation, Will.

That woman is the reason our son is still in critical condition. And I just find it alittle hard to swallow that the whole church is going to give that woman a Christianburial when her life reflected everything but!”

Will looked at his wife rather sternly, “Judith, I know this is a difficultsituation, but the funeral is more for her only daughter that has been going to thatchurch, than it is for the woman.”

“Well, the nut doesn’t fall very far from the tree,” Judith added.“Judith Marie, I can’t believe you’re talking like this. You are one of themost giving, caring women I know and to hear you say these things, well…I justcan’t believe it.”

“Believe it, Will,” Judith said firmly. “When it comes to my children, don’tmess with me.”

Will knew that this time had been hard on his wife and he knew that it wasbest for the conversation to end. Yet he was surprised at her hardness. He hadnever encountered this heart in her before, but then again, they had a good life

together and nothing serious had happened to any of their children. This was a firstfor the family and it was bringing out a new side to them all.

“I’m going back into ICU,” Judith told him.“Fine dear,” he said. “I think I’ll go back to the hotel for a little while and

I’ll come back and then let you rest.”



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“Fine,” she said turning and walking toward the special unit area.“Judith,” Will called out to her. “Aren’t you going to give me a kiss?”

Judith turned and walked back toward her husband. Will asked as hehugged her tight, “What is this attitude all about, honey?”

“I…” Judith began to try and explain. “I just hate the fact of what that

woman has done to us and I’m just…just…so scared.”“I know, honey,” Will said trying to comfort his wife. “I know I’m scaredtoo. We just have to trust God, Judith.”

“We’ve been tested before, Will, but nothing like this,” Judith said as sheclung to him, “and I guess I’m just not doing very well.”

“Judith,” Will said as he held her out at arms length, “it’s our faith that willhold us up in times of trials and that time is now.”

Judith nodded. “Talk is easy…it’s the walk that is hard,” she said. Will kissed her on her cheek, “I’ll see you, later. Call me if you need

anything.” Taking a deep breath, Judith looked at the man that had been by her side

for thirty years and she felt very blessed.

*

Nora walked into the church with the group from Guardian Home. Kay and Jack walked beside Anna Jo. Hetty walked in front of them and led them downthe center isle to the front of the church.

Before them was the casket, with a small spray of carnations on top. Froma distance you could make out the outline of Mary as she lay in her coffin. Thecloser the group came, the slower they walked.

Hetty turned around and looked at Anna Jo. She quietly asked her, “Doyou want to see her?” she asked. Leaving Kay and Jack, Anna Jo extended her handand Hetty took it and enclosed it in both of hers.

Anna Jo nodded. “I think I need to, don’t you?” she asked Hetty.Knowing the young girl was looking for direction; Hetty stepped up and

gladly took on the mantel of mentor and friend once again.“Yes, Anna Jo, I think it would be best if you were able to find someclosure with your mother.” Hetty told her.

Together the two walked up and stood at the side of the casket.Mary lay there, in her multi-blue printed jersey dress with a touch of

makeup as an attempt to give life to the pasty color of death. Her hair was fixed in asimple style, with soft curls around her face. The roots of her hair showing the realcolor, and yet nothing else about her seemed real to Anna Jo.

“She’s pretty,” Anna Jo said as she looked down on her mother, “and she

looks at peace, doesn’t she?”“Yes, she does, Anna Jo…yes she does,” Hetty agreed.“You know,” Anna Jo said as she continued to look at her, “I hope that she

had angels around her when she died.”



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“God provides what we need, sweetheart, in life and in death,” Hetty responded.

“But I just still don’t get it,” she said, looking up at Hetty. “Why did herlife have to be so hard?”

Hetty waited a moment before answering, wanting to answer her with as

much care as she could, but all that would come to mind was, “There are somequestions that just don’t get answered this side of heaven,” Hetty told her. Tenderly she continued, “And I believe that is one of those questions.”

As Anna Jo continued looking at her mother, Rendon came up behind herand put his hand on her shoulder. Not knowing what to say, he said nothing. Hehad tried to put himself in her position, but just couldn’t. Anna Jo’s situation was sodifferent than his, that he couldn’t fathom what it would be like not to have family around him during a time like this.

Anna Jo turned to him. She was so glad and relieved that he had come.

She had been afraid that he wouldn’t come, but he had. Seeing him here, Anna Joknew that it had not been easy for him to come. He was here for her. Smiling athim, Anna Jo said, “Thanks for coming.”

“I couldn’t not come, Anna Jo. I want you to know that I’m sorry and thatI’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” she repeated.Rendon turned and went to sit with a few people from the church that had

quietly filed in. Just before he sat down, he noticed that the door at the back hadopened. The preacher had asked those that could, to come to the funeral but

Rendon didn’t expect many and he was sure that Anna Jo had no idea that anyonebesides those from Guardian Home would be there. As he stood by his pew seat,he looked intently to see who had opened the door.

Will McAlister sat down at the back of the church, making no attempt to bea part of the group. He had come as an observer.



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Chapter 22

Listening to the preacher recite the brief details of her mother’s life, Anna

Jo realized that a life can never be reduced to mere words. Her mother had beenmore than that, but she didn’t know how to explain it, she just knew it. She knew itin her heart that her mother had been young once and had been full of life and love.Surely her life had not been filled entirely with pain. I have the photo thought Anna Jo I know of a time when she was young and happy and loved me. I know she was happy once.

When the preacher finished listing Mary Anna’s statistics, he began theservice. “We have come to pay our respects to Mary Anna Perkins Carter. She hada life that few would choose to live. And we do not know nor will we ever know the depths as to what she went through in this life. But what we do know is that

God is with us in our darkest of times. And that is what we have to remember.”Pausing he then continued, “Life is fleeting and we are held here by a

gossamer thread that can be severed at anytime. Therefore we must live eachmoment as if it is our last, so that we will be ready to meet our creator and maker asMary Anna has done. Shall we pray?”

As the preacher lifted up his prayers, Anna Jo could not keep her mind onhis words. She could only think about what he had said that God is with us in ourdarkest of times and wondered if her mother knew that.

Lost in her thoughts, Anna Jo didn’t realize that the prayer was over untilshe heard a shuffle of feet and the sound of someone coming down the center isleto the front. Lifting her head, she saw a man. He was older than Peter, but not asold as the preacher. Anna Jo watched intently as he walk up to the pulpit where thepreacher was and began to whisper something to him. The preacher nodded, pattedhim on the arm and sat down on the front row as the stranger turned and faced theauditorium.

Clearing his throat, obviously trying to collect his thoughts, Anna Jo wasmystified as to whom this man could be and why would he be standing there, ready

to say something. He didn’t look the type to be a friend of her mother’s. But maybe Anna Jo thought he’s someone from church that knew my mother.

Finally composing himself, the man began to speak, “My name is Nolan Joseph Perkins, the second,” he said, “and I…” again he cleared his throat and thenlooked at Anna Jo, “I want to tell you a little bit about my sister.”

Stunned, Anna Jo looked at him unable to believe what she had just heard. A shock wave of muffled sounds went through the auditorium and Anna Jo turnedaround to see where the noise came from. She was overwhelmed to see that thechurch was almost half filled. There were people she recognized, but there were just

as many that she had no idea who they were, and they were all here to say goodbyeto her mother. Completely baffled, she shook her head, then turned around andgave Hetty a puzzled look.

Hetty smiled and whispered, “They think a lot of you Anna Jo and they arehere out of respect.”



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Anna Jo still could not believe the crowd in the room. But more incredible was the man that stood up front who had just said that he was her mother’sbrother…her uncle.

As the crowd settled down, Joseph continued to stare at Anna Jo.Obviously he knew her, but she had never seen him before and she never

remembered her mother talking about him. He was obviously older than she was,but not by a lot.Finally he began to speak again, “Mary Anna, or Chats, as we called her

when we were younger because she never stopped talking, was the second of threechildren. She was born four years after me and then two years later Patricia Leigh

was born.” Anna Jo sat in stunned silence. Here was a man, her uncle, telling her about

an aunt that she never knew even existed. Trying to listen to him, Anna Jo struggledto take it all. It was what she had always dreamed and hoped for and now, now that

her mother was gone, she found out that there really was a family that she belongedto…a real family.

“My sister was one of those people that when you first met her, you felt likeyou’d known her all your life, because she was so friendly and out going. She nevermet a stranger and she would go out of her way to help you. She was an outgoing child, and a caring and hardworking teen, and we loved her.” Raising his eyes tolook toward the back of the auditorium he repeated, “…all of us loved her.”

But,” he swallowed hard, “she has been out of our lives for almost 14 years.She chose to separate herself from us and we were saddened by her choice.”

“Mary Ann was my sister and I loved her.”Slowly Joseph made his way down from the pulpit and came toward Anna

Jo. As he neared, Anna Jo was at a loss as to what to do. Still reeling from theshock of his revelation she remained in her seat. Joseph came in front of her, andbent down onto his knee.

He tentatively reached out his hand, and Anna Jo instinctively took it.“Anna Jo,” he said tenderly, “I’m your Uncle Joe. Chats told me she named

you after me, honey. You have family Anna Jo,” he said as he choked back his

tears, “you’ve always had us. We loved your mother and we love you.”Hetty moved over a seat and nodded to Joe that he should sit beside Anna Jo. As he took the seat, the choir began to sing I’ll Fly Away.

Once the choir finished the preacher again took the podium.“Today as a dear loved one is laid to rest, a family is reunited.”

The preacher continued to talk about the importance of family and how weare all in God’s family, and then he led the last prayer. As he went to stand besidethe coffin, the people in the auditorium began to come down the isle to view hermother, some for the first time and some for the last time, they each extended their

condolences.Finally, after everyone else had filed past there was a space in time when it

was silent in the room. Then Anna Jo heard someone approach her. As she lookedup, she saw an older woman, followed by a younger woman and several teens.



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Joe stood up and took his mother’s hand, “Mom, we found her,” and they hugged.

Tears filled the crevices of the older woman’s face as she turned from herson and reached out to Anna Jo. “Oh honey, we looked for you and looked for you,but we just never could find you.”

Anna Jo stood up, and her grandmother embraced her, holding her tightand crying. “Oh thank the Lord we found you,” she repeated over and over.Finally feeling as if she could part from the granddaughter that she had

raised for the first year of her life, Anna Jo’s grandmother held her away from her,“Here, let me look at you,” she said through her tears.

Anna Jo stood dutifully so her grandmother’s eyes could get a full view of her, soaking up a sight she had longed for years to see. Then, she took her handand they made their way to the casket.

Anna Jo wondered what was going through her Grandmother’s mind. Was

it memories filled with love, or hurt or maybe even anger?Finally the older woman spoke, “I loved her, Anna Jo. She was always so

full of life and so busy.” Reaching out she stroked the still hand of Mary Anna. “Imiss you, sweetheart,” she said tenderly. “I prayed for you and Anna Jo every day,honey. I never stopped loving you Mary Ann, even when you got so mad at me andyour dad. I never stopped loving you sweetheart, and I never will.”

As the group stood around the coffin, Joseph finally spoke up. “Mother,”he said gently, “it’s time we go.”

Turning to Hetty, he said, “Thank you for everything you’ve done for my

sister and niece.”“Anna Jo is part of our family,” Hetty told him.

Waiting for a little peace to settle over the group, Hetty then invited them,“We’re going to go to the cemetery, now if you’d like to follow us.”

Surprised a bit that Anna Jo would not be riding with them, Josephhesitantly agreed, looking at his mother and then back at Hetty. “That’s fine of course,” he said.

“I’ll see you there,” Anna Jo said as she looked at the group still trying to

grasp that they were her family.

*

Standing at the back of the auditorium Claire watched Hetty. From herstance, Claire could tell that she was on guard and listening intently to everything said.

“Quite a revelation, huh?” Mr. McAlister said walking up behind Claire.Startled, Claire turned to see that Peter’s father had also come to the

funeral.“Yeah,” Claire agreed. “I just wonder how it’s all going to turn out.”“Well,” he said, moving to stand beside her, “I would think it will all

depend on Anna Jo.”



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Claire continued to watch the group, unable to hear any of theirconversation.

“She’ll either accept them,” Will continued, “or she’ll send them on their way like her mother did.”

“But what could turn a daughter so against her mother?” Claire said more

to herself than to Mr. McAlister, but the moment she said it she thought of therelationship she had had with her own mother. It had been a difficult one, mostly of her own making. But even in the worst of times, they never went more than a

week or so with out talking.“You never know what goes on behind closed doors,” he offered.Boy is that the truth Claire thought to herself, everyone thought I had just the best

childhood ever, nice house next to a beautiful park, doting father and caring mother. No one knew how left out I felt, how I felt that I came second all the time with my mother. No one knew…not even she recognized how alone I felt.

Breaking free from her troubling thoughts, Claire turned to Mr. McAlister,“I’m surprised you’re here,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m pretty surprised myself. As I watched the youth group leave tocome here to support Anna Jo, I just felt I needed to know more about the family that has changed my family’s life.”

Claire gave him a puzzled look.“Because of the accident,” he said shaking his head, “Peter will never be the

same. And because his life will be different,” Will said turning toward Claire, “so will ours.”

Claire was silent. She knew the truth of how life can turn in an instant.Her life had been turned upside down several times over the past few months.

“What?” Will asked Claire. Turning toward him, she said, “Excuse me?”“You said something but I didn’t understand it,” he replied.“Oh, uh…I was just thinking about how my life has been turned upside

down, too.”“Peter had mentioned…well, he just said that he was very concerned about

you.” Will looked at the woman that Peter was so fond of. He could see why he was attracted to her. She was cute, and smart, and had spunk. And she was just abit mysterious, never revealing much about herself, always turning a question back into a question.

“Really?” Claire said. She had no idea that Peter had talked so much abouther to his parents. It seems he was much closer to them than he had ever let on.

Thinking about that, Claire began to wonder why. Maybe she finally concluded,maybe he didn’t mention it because since he had such a close bond with them, he didn’t want tomake me regret the relationship that I had with mine. And with both my parents gone now, I

don’t have a chance to change it. Maybe…” Claire was lost in her own thoughts as the group at the front of the

auditorium left by the side door. Will watched as the casket was closed and the sixmen stood waiting to put it in the hearse.



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Then watching as the men carried the casket it out of the church, Willrealized that his son could just as well have been the one in a wooden box. Only by the grace of God had he lived. The doctor had made that more than clear. Thedoctor had said that Peter was here only because of a miracle and a strong will tolive. Lord, thank you for my son, Will lifted up the silent prayer , I know there’s going to be

a lot of tough times ahead and You’re going to be right there with us. I just pray Lord that You show us the way. Give us the patience to deal with the situations that arise.Finally he added, And Lord, please be with the family of this woman, and help them

find Your peace.

*

Standing at the edge of the grave, Nora was the last one to hug Anna Jo.Mary’s mother, brother and sister and their children had all hugged Anna Jo and

told her how much they wanted her to come home with them.Finally, Hetty had stepped in and stopped the confusion they were causing

Anna Jo by inviting them to the church for an evening meal. Finally they agreed,and once they had left, just Hetty, Nora, Jack and Kay, and Anna Jo were left besidethe grave.

Anna Jo looked up at them with pleading eyes, “I don’t know thosepeople,” she said. “They keep saying they want me to come with them, and that’s

what I thought I wanted, but now…now I don’t know.”Kay, put her arm around Anna Jo, “We’ll work it out, sweetie. You are not

going to have to go anywhere you don’t want to, okay?”“Promise?” Anna Jo said looking at each one of them, “promise?”Hetty spoke for them all, “Anna Jo that is a promise, dear. Your home is

with us until you make the decision otherwise.” As they began to make their way to the car, Anna Jo stopped and turned to

Nora, “Can we talk for just a minute?” she asked. The others nodded and Hetty spoke up, “We’ll leave the car for you if you

like.”

Nora looked at Anna Jo, and then said, “Please, that would good.”“Fine,” Hetty said, “see you back at the church,” and then she joined theothers from the home who had been waiting for them.

“Nora,” Anna Jo began, “you and I have talked a lot about our pasts, andnow I’m facing my mother’s and I’m really scared.”

“Scared of what, dear?” Nora asked. Anna Jo looked down at the coffin with the dirt still piled by the side of the

ground. “I’m not really sure,” she said. “It just seems that so much has changedand I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, sweetheart,” Nora said tenderly, “you just need to take one thing at atime and then work through it. You can’t tackle everything at once.”

“But how do you know which one to start with? I mean you had it pretty rough in your marriage. How did you know what was the right thing to do?”

Lord, Nora prayed give me wisdom here.



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“Pray,” came Nora’s response. “The Spirit knows your heart, Anna Jo. You just need to remember to just pray…pray for wisdom and strength andcourage. And when no words come, that’s okay, too,” Nora said remembering thetimes she had struggled with her thoughts. “Just ask for help and guidance.”

“And then I’ll know?” asked Anna Jo, “just ask and…”

“And then just let God do His work, Anna Jo. Look for His hands inaction around you, and you’ll know, sweetheart, you’ll know.” Anna Jo nodded her head, praying with all her heart that what Nora had

said would be true.

*

As the family finished their meal Hetty, who was sitting beside Anna Jo’suncle at the table, bent toward him and whispered, “Would you like to come to

Guardian Home so you can see where Anna Jo lives?” she asked.“Yes,” he agreed. “Mother had had her heart set on taking Anna Jo back

with us today, and I tried to tell her that that might not be the right thing to do.”“Thank you for that,” she continued in a hushed tone. “A lot has happened

and the less changes at one time, the better. This is something that Anna Jo willmake the decision on. She’s had enough decisions taken out of her control andshe’s old enough now to make them on her own.”

Looking at her, Joseph asked. “Where do you stand in all this?”“Meaning?” Hetty asked with furrowed brows.

“Well, don’t you think she should be with family?” he askedSpeaking low but very clearly Hetty explained, “She IS with family, Mr.

Perkins. Anna Jo has been with us for the last six years. She has dorm parents thatare in everyway, her parents. She finally made connections with the children at thehome and they have become her brothers and sisters, and there are others at thehome whom she is very close to that you could say are just like aunts and uncles.”Making sure he understood, “so you see, she has been in a home environment forquiet a while.”

“Oh, I see,” he said rather surprised. “We thought she was in an orphanage where it was a situation that would be best that she was out of.”“We are not an orphanage, Mr. Perkins. The children that are in our care

are not up for adoption. They are with us because of family circumstances wherethe parent or guardian is unable to care for them. But the connection to the family remains.”

“Even if it’s bad for the kid, like in Anna Jo’s case?” he asked.“I talked with her mother as often as I could, and I explained how her visits

affected Anna Jo.”

“I see,” Joseph said. “Well, I think a tour of Guardian Home would be very beneficial for my mother,” he said, and then added, “well really for all of us.”But now it was his turn to make sure Hetty understood, “We intend for her to bepart of our family, a close active part of the family. But I agree we all want what isbest for Anna Jo.”



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“Yes,” Hetty looked him square in the eye, “that is our only objective, Mr.Perkins…to do what is in Anna Jo’s best interest.”

Joseph rose from the table and announced, “Mrs. Putnam has asked us tocome to Guardian Home for a visit.”

Anna Jo smiled. She had been sitting with two of her cousins and was glad

that they could see where she lived. The cousins had shared a bit about what fearstheir parents had had regarding Anna Jo’s living conditions and she wanted them toall see how happy she was. She wanted to share with them what a wonderful placeGuardian Home was. She wanted them all to understand that her mother had takenher to a place that could give her what her mother could not, a place of peace andrefuge. She wanted them to realize that her mother had tried to do the rightthing…and in this situation, she had.

Anna Jo watched as Hetty went to each of the ladies from the church andthanked them personally for getting a meal together on such short notice for the

family. Excusing herself from her cousins, she joined Hetty in thanking the women.Once the ladies turned and began to clean up the area, Hetty looked at

Anna Jo and could see an excitement on her face. “What do you think about themcoming to Guardian Home?” she asked.

Anna Jo reached up and gave her a big hug. “Thank you, Mrs. P. I don’tknow what I would have done without you today. You have made everything…,”pushing back and looking at the woman closely, “you have done more for me thanyou’ll ever know, Mrs. P.”

“That’s what family is for, Anna Jo. We take care of one another.”

Anna Jo nodded. “I am so glad they’re coming. I was telling

*

“That took a while,” Judith said into the phone, “I thought you’d callearlier.”

“Sorry, honey,” Will said, “I had some things to do,” he told her.“Here? Things to do here? Like what?” she asked.

“Just some things,” he said hoping she wouldn’t push him to talk yet.“Will,” she said instinctively knowing something was the matter with herhusband, “what’s the matter.”

“Sweetheart,” he hesitated, “I’m tired and I’m going to lie down for just alittle while. Then I’ll come back up and relieve you, okay?” he said trying to avoidany other probing questions for the moment.

“Are you alright, Will?” Judith asked, clearly concerned.“I’m fine, dear, really,” he told her. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”“Okay…if you’re sure,” she said knowing full well that her husband was

not fine.“I am. Good-bye,” Will said, then gently placed the receiver back on the

phone base. Lying down onto the hotel bed, he put his hands behind his head andlooked up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the running thoughts in his head.His mind jumped from one subject to another, thinking about Claire, then Peter,



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then to the woman who had died and then to her daughter, to the revelation madeat the funeral, then back to Peter.

“What a mess,” Will said aloud. “Lord…what a MESS!” he said louder.

*

“Thank you,” Anna Jo’s grandmother said as she sat down on the couch inHetty’s office. “It’s quite obvious that you run a very good place here. I can tell it’sfilled with a lot of love and care.”

“That is our goal, Mrs. Perkins. This is a home. It’s not a place to just keepkids. It’s a home where they are nurtured and can grow.”

“Well, you can certainly tell that our Anna Jo loves it here,” she said,folding her hands in her lap.

“Thank you for recognizing that, Mrs. Perkins. Anna Jo has endured a lot

in her life and we want to see that she gets a solid foundation so she can go on andbecome a thriving adult.”

“I sure wish I could say the same thing for my Mary,” Mrs. Perkins said wistfully. “We did the best we knew how, but somewhere along the way, we justlost one another.”

“That happens sometimes,” Hetty offered.Hearing her Joseph and Patricia come in, Mrs. Perkins motioned for them

to come sit near her and then she turned to Hetty, “could we all talk in private for abit?” she asked.

“Certainly,” Hetty said, getting up from the chair that had faced Mrs.Perkins.

Hetty went out into the main foyer, then onto the front porch. Nora wassitting there, watching the newly discovered cousins as they talked about their pastand mutual likings and dislikes, trying to find common ground.

“Quite a day,” Nora said as she saw Hetty come toward her.“Yes it has been, and it’s not over yet,” she told Nora.“What?” Nora asked instantly concerned that this must have something to

do with Anna Jo.“Her grandmother has asked that she and her children speak in private. Ijust wanted you to know, so that when Anna Jo comes up you can explain that we’retalking.”

“Certainly,” Nora agreed. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.”“Well, for now,” Hetty said, “You can pray.”Hetty walked back into her office and quietly shut the door. She walked

over to the chair across from the couch and sat down. She didn’t want to sit behindher desk because she did not want a barrier between them.

Mrs. Perkins began, “Again, Mrs. Putnam, we can’t tell you how much itmeans for our Anna Jo to have been here for the past several years. We had no idea

where she was and certainly had no clue that she was so close by.” Trying to sort through her thoughts, Joseph knew that his mother was

struggling so he spoke up. Clearing his throat, he looked Hetty, “The only reason



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that I’m sharing this with you,” he said, “is that I want you to know that we didn’tknow where she was until two days ago. And that is when the police came and toldmy parents about what had happened.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued, “Mary Ann used to call at least one of us at every six months or so. It would usually start out good, but then, it would get

down to the reason she called and more often than not it was because she neededmoney.”Hesitating for a moment, he then continued, “Seeing all of the people at her

funeral I can tell you, we were more than a little surprised,” he said. Patricia andMrs. Perkins both nodded in agreement. “We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into, but we knew we had to come. My sister made a lot of mistakes inher life, but she was still family.”

“The last time I saw her…,” Joseph said struggling, “I asked her where herdaughter was and she told me that she was in a safe place, but she wouldn’t tell me

anymore than that. And we didn’t know what “safe” meant.”Patricia spoke up for the first time. She looked at Hetty, wanting her to

understand, “My sister started off young and beautiful and full of life, but when sheturned 14, she fell in with the wrong crowd and she finally left home.” Pausing fora moment, she then added.

“We didn’t abandon my daughter,” Mrs. Perkins said, “We loved her. Wedid. And we love Anna Jo, too, and we tried to get Mary to let us have her, but she

wouldn’t.” Joseph said as stood up “The last time I talked to her,” he repeated as he

began to pace the floor, “was the worse and, well, we both said some pretty awfulthings to one another. I think that’s why she kept Anna Jo hidden from us becauseshe knew that we’d take Anna Jo away from her.”

“You told her that?” Hetty asked Joseph.“In so many words, yes,” he admitted. “After that big blow up, Mary

would call ever so often. She would contact one of us and sounding all happy and wanting to know what was going on in our life.” Shaking his head, “She acted as if we were great friends and everything was wonderful between us. But we knew, we

all knew. She was out of money and was looking for some way, any way she could,to get some cash. And my answer was always the same. Bring Anna Jo, and we’dtalk.”

“But she wouldn’t bring her,” said Mrs. Perkins trying to get Hetty tounderstand their side of the situation. “She said send money and she would bring

Anna Jo, but we knew better. Several times, she even showed up at our house,” sheadded. “She wouldn’t come inside. She would want to talk outside; like she wasafraid she’d get trapped inside. So,” Mrs. Perkins said as tears filled her eyes,“usually we would just sit on the front porch talking until her daddy came home

from work.”Sitting there, everyone could tell that she began to relive the memory. As

hard as it was, the memory had resurfaced in its full intensity. “But then onetime…the moment he saw her, he went at her,” Mrs. Perkins said. “He didn’t giveher a chance to say a word, he just started yelling at her, telling her how much pain



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she had caused me, and how many tears I had shed and how she had broken my heart.”

Looking up, Mrs. Perkins said to each of them, “Mary Ann broke his hearttoo. That’s why he was so mad. When she was young they had been so close,” sheexplained, wiping tears from her eyes, “she had been his shadow, always following

him the minute he came home from work. He called her his “Chattering Shadow”and he loved it.”“But as she got older, it had just broken his heart when she started acting

up, lying to us about where she was going and who she was with.” Taking a deep breath, Mrs. Perkins continued. “When she was 14 she met

this boy who was quite a bit older than her and he was just no good. We tried totalk to her, but she wouldn’t listen. So one day when she was supposed to go toschool, she ran off with him. It was two weeks before the police found them. They found them out of state in a stolen car. The boy was put in jail, but because Mary

Ann was under age they let her go back home with us.”“And that was the worst time of my life,” Patricia said.Mrs. Perkins looked at her youngest daughter, as if she wished she could

redo everything that had happened. “I know honey,” Mrs. Perkins said. “And I’mso sorry I couldn’t see that then, Patty.” Patricia closed her eyes and nodded, thenlet her mother continue.

Taking a deep breath, Mrs. Perkins continued, “When she first came back,she was all sorry and everything and wanted to make up, but,” shaking her head, “itdidn’t last long. I knew things had had happened between the two of them and sure

enough, she was about three months along by the time she admitted anything. Andthe boy never came back, never made any attempt to get in touch with her oranything that I know of.”

“Did you ever make any attempt to find him?” Hetty asked.“Good heavens no,” Mrs. Perkins said, shocked at the mere idea. “He was

nothing but trouble and I didn’t want him involved in that baby’s life, much less my daughter’s. No,” she said harshly, “he ruined Mary Ann’s life, just flat ruined her.Nothing good came out of that situation.”

“Except Anna Jo,” Hetty said quietly.Stunned, Mrs. Perkins looked up, “Well, yes of course. I didn’t mean toimply that I wished she hadn’t been born. It’s just…” Mrs. Perkins sigh heavily,“Mary was never the same. My bubbly little girl was gone. And when she cameback home, she was so…so different, so moody and well, you could just neverpredict how she was going to act or what she was going to do.” Thinking back onthat time, she added, “She never had a temper before she left, but when she cameback…well, sometimes she scared me she could get so mad.”

Hetty didn’t say anymore. She didn’t have to. Listening to the sad tale of

Mary Ann’s life, she could only think What a waste, Lord, what a waste. Why do some lives have to be so troubled?

Mrs. Perkins continued, “Mary stayed until little Anna Jo was just over ayear old.” Smiling at the memory of the chubby, healthy, happy baby she had spenthours holding and rocking. “Oh how I loved that baby,” she said. “But then one



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day, after Mary’s 16th birthday, she found another boy and they took off, taking thebaby with her.”

Looking at Hetty, “I begged her to leave the baby with us, but she wouldn’thave it. I think she knew it was just one more way she could get to us, and she did.”

Mrs. Perkins seemed worn out from talking about her daughter. Hearing

the fatigue in her voice, Joseph walked over to his mother and put his hand on hershoulder.Looking up into his eyes, they needed no words. “For the first couple of

years,” he continued the story, “Mary came around pretty regularly. Once she eventold my parents that she was thinking of moving back into the area. Looking back on it, we realized she was probably just trying to get on their good side.”

“Now, Joseph,” Mrs. Perkins cut in.“Mother, she would do anything she could to get money and you know it,”

he said. Turning to Hetty, “That went on for years. Then when I tried to get Anna

Jo away from her, she stopped bringing her around; she would either come alone orjust call. But the final straw was the last time.”

No one seemed to want to say what had happened during her last visit withher parents. The silence went on until finally Joseph spoke up. Looking from hismother, then to his sister, he turned at last to Hetty, “The last time she came around

was two years ago. When she came, the folks were gone so she found an unlocked window and snuck in. She began putting things in a pillow case, anything that wassmall enough to carry, but something that she could sell. The folks came in andcaught her red handed. It was obvious that she was on something. They called me,

so I came over.”Shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of the memory, he continued, “I

have never seen my dad so hurt and mad at the same time. Mother just sat thereand cried, and I’ll tell you,” Joseph said as the pain filled his eyes, “Anna Jo was theonly thing that kept us from calling the police and breaking all ties with her. Dadtold her to take the stuff, to just take it and go and that he never wanted to see heragain without Anna Jo.”

Sighing he finished, “We never heard from her again. Not until the police

came to my parent’s house. When Dad heard what the police said, his heart hadgotten so hard that he didn’t even think about Anna Jo. He didn’t want to haveanything to do with Mary. Knowing that she was dead, his little Chatting Shadow…well, he hasn’t done anything but sit in his chair since the police left.”

Looking at his mother, Joseph concluded their story, “Mother had comeinto the living room to see who was at the door, but Dad sent the police away soquickly, and she was so shocked by what she had heard, she didn’t say anything.

After they left, she called Patricia and me and we went over and talked. Dad wantednothing to do with giving Mary a burial and he forbade mother to, too.”

Joseph smiled, “But…once my mother sets her mind to something, she’sgoing to follow through if there is a whisper of a prayer. We called the police andspoke with them and they gave us what information they could. Then we startedfollowing the trail to this place. When we learned that Mary’s funeral was today, we



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all felt that it was a sign that we needed to come. We needed to make our peace with Mary and to bring Anna Jo home.”



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Chapter 23

For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you

in all your ways. They shall bear you up in their hands.”

Anna Jo recited aloud, recalling the verse that was Mrs. P’s favorite. And it was true. It had been two months since her mother’s death and she had drawnstrength from that verse every day.

Nora had been right. She had said to pray and ask for guidance, that theright choice would become clear…and it had. She had been able to make decisions.

And today as she sat on the tree swing, looking over at Guardian Home, she felt atpeace.

Granny had been a little pushy, wanting her to move in with her andGrandpa, but Uncle Joe had been a dream. He had helped Granny understand thatit would be best for her to stay where she was. And with it being only a little overan hour away, they would see each other on a regular basis, which they had.

Meeting her Grandpa had been the scariest. Aunt Patty hadn’t gone intodetail about the relationship he had had with her mother, but she was able to shareenough information with Anna Jo, helping her to understand his side of the story.

Anna Jo swung higher and higher in the tree swing, smiling as she recalledtheir first meeting. Grandpa had been in his recliner when Uncle Joe had broughther in. He made no move to get up, so Anna Jo walked over to him. Uncle Joe leftthe two of them alone. He knew that it was important for the two of them to bondand the only way that would happen would be for them to do it on their own, intheir own time.

As she got closer, she noticed that her grandfather’s eyes moist. She didn’tknow if he was about to cry, or if that’s just how his eyes were. Kneeling beside himshe put her hand on the arm of his chair. “Grandpa?” she said softly.

He made no response. As was now her habit, Anna Jo lifted up a prayer,

Lord, please give me the words that Grandpa needs to hear. Help me say something that will melt his heart. Show me what to do, Lord, please just show me what to do.

Sitting there quietly, she waited until he spoke first. Finally he spoke.“You’re not like her,” were his first words.Knowing he had called her mother his “Chattering Shadow” she knew how

truly different she and her mother were and she wanted her grandfather tounderstand that she was not her mother. “No, sir, I’m not,” she said. “I’m yourgranddaughter.”

“I know that,” he replied gruffly.

Anna Jo waited. For some people it would have been difficult to sit insilence, but for her, she had learned patience at an early age, and sitting and waiting

was not wasting time. While she sat beside his chair in the living room, sheimmersed herself in the sights of the living room and the sounds and smells fromthe kitchen that surrounded the two of them.



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“How old are you?” he asked. Anna Jo smiled. She knew that he knew her age. Obviously he was having

a difficult time thinking of things to say. “I’m sixteen, sir. I’ll be seventeen nextmonth.”

Finally he turned toward her and began to look at her, drinking in the sight

of her. “You still have the same big brown eyes you had as a baby.” Anna Jo smiled, “Yes, sir. I’ve been told it’s my best feature.”“Don’t know if I’d go that far,” he told her. “Your hair is a lot like your

mother’s was at this age, long and brown.”“Yes, sir,” Anna Jo said.Continuing to look at her he said, “Seems like you have good manners.”“Thank you, sir,” she said. “At home it’s important to be polite because it’s

a sign of respect,”

“I don’t think your mother ever got that,” he said more to himself than toher.

“There were a lot of things,” she replied softly, “that my mother neverunderstood. But she did raise me so that I know how to love, Grandpa.”

He looked at her almost sternly, doubting the truth of what she said,“How?” he demanded.

Gently Anna Jo answered, “When I was really little, she was different. Shetalked all the time, mostly about nothing, but she would hug me and love on me andtell me how important I was to her. And she loved me and she showed it when I

was younger.“It was only after I got older that her drinking got really bad. But

sometimes when she was sober, I’d get a glimpse of the Mommy that I loved when I was younger. And by then, Grandpa, it was okay, because…well, because sheneeded someone to take care of her.”

Getting a mere glimpse of what his granddaughter must have gone throughand still able to retain such a tender heart, Anna Jo’s grandfather, rose up out of hisrecliner and drew her to him and cried.

*

“Ugh!” Peter yelled out in frustration, “I can’t do this!”“Don’t be such a baby,” Claire said to him as she picked up the weight that

he had dropped.“I’m not!” he said angrily to Claire, “it’s just so frustrating!”More gently she said trying to coax him into continuing his therapy. “Peter

your strength is not going to be better, unless you work at it.”

Wiping the sweat from his brow he looked at her, “Yeah, well, have pity ona poor weak boy,” he said, “for every five you lift, I’ll do one, how about that?”

“Uh…no!” she smiled back at him.“Chicken,” he countered.“Yup. You got that right,” she said and smiled.



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“I hate it when you agree with me like that. It leaves no room for arguing,”Peter said as he began his repetitions again.

“Sorry,” Claire said.“You are not,” Peter said between huffing and puffing, trying to bring the

weight up for the 6th time.

“What ever you say,” Claire said smiling.“Ten! Whew! You didn’t think I’d make it did you?” he asked as he let the weight fall back down to the floor.

“No, I knew you would,” she amiably.“You’re up to something, I just know it,” Peter said as he wiped his face off

with a towel.“Oh, I just thought I’d give you the news when you were ready,” she said

placing the weights back on the rack where they belonged.“Okay, I’m ready. What’s the big news?” he asked as Claire settled him in

the wheelchair.“I quit my job,” she said.“You what?” Peter responded by turning around and looking at her like she

was crazy. “Surely you’re kidding me.”“Nope,” she said as she began to wheel him back to his room. “I talked to

my attorney. I told him what I wanted to do, and he said that it would be best if Iquit.”

“You’re telling me that your attorney advised you to quit your job,” he saiddisbelieving the conversation.

“That’s right,” Claire said, not elaborating, just smiling.“So are you going to tell me what those plans are?” he asked. He thought

Claire would just spill everything, but he realized she wanted him to drag it out of her and he was willing to play her game.

Once he was settled back in his hospital bed in the rehab center, Claire satnext to him. “Well,” she started expansively, “the little Community Mission thatyou started has gone gang busters. It’s grown faster than anyone could haveimagined.”

Peter smiled, “I just knew it would, I just knew it.”“I got together with the youth group and…”“Aren’t they great?” Peter broke in, “They’re the best group of kids ever.”Claire folder her arms across her chest and waited.“What?” Peter said puzzled. “What’d I say?”“You keep interrupting me, that’s what.” She said trying to sound upset, but

not quite pulling it off.“Okay, fine. Sorry, sorry, go on…” he said.“Okay,” Claire said resuming where she left off. “So, we got together and I

made a suggestion to them about how we could branch out a bit and they loved it.”“Branch out a bit? What does that mean?” he asked.“Just wait…all in good time,” Claire said thoroughly enjoying stringing

Peter along, making him wait for the grand finale.



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“So, with the money from the sale of mother’s house to Jess and David, Ibought a place that is just around the corner, nearer the church.”

“What house was that?” he asked trying to remember any little houses forsale in the area.

“The Whittington House,” she said calmly.

“What?” Peter exploded. “That monstrosity? That three story fixer-upperthat has been on the market for over a year?” he said incredulous.“Yes!” Claire exclaimed. “Isn’t it great?”“NO!” Peter yelled. “No, it’s not great! What on earth are you thinking

woman?”Claire smiled, “I knew you’d be excited.”“Excited? Are you kidding me?” he said throwing his head back on the

pillow. Suddenly he rose back up, “You are kidding, aren’t you? Aren’t you?”Claire smiled, cocked her head to the side and said, “Okay, I didn’t buy the

Whittington House, but…” she hesitated for affect, “I did buy a smaller home thatis one story and it is near the church.”

“Okay,” Peter said, “Give me a heart attack on top of everything else,”rolling his eyes. “But why did you quit your job? You had such a great job,” hecontinued still unable to comprehend where this conversation was going.

“Well, you see…” Claire started, “you forget that I’m a very wealthy womannow. And I’ve decided that I want to do something different with my life, so I’mopening up a food and clothing donation center, with the ability to assist olderpeople so they can stay in their homes longer.”

Looking at her Peter was shocked. She was so different than when they had first met, but still she was the same. Trying to realize what the true difference

was, Peter realized that it was her heart. She had finally been able to get beyond herown pain and grief and make peace with it.

Anna Jo had been a big part of that process. It began when Nora brought Anna Jo up to visit him and Claire had walked in. Immediately he had felt thetension, rather like it had been when her mother was ill and he and Jess would visither mother. Again Claire felt that an enemy had entered, trying to wedge

themselves between her and someone she cared for deeply.Peter knew he would be forever grateful that Nora was there to help, notonly to ease the tension, but to open the way so Claire and Anna Jo could talk. Shehad taken control of the situation and took the two of them, with hisencouragement, out of the room to a place where they could talk in private. Peterknew it wasn’t that he shouldn’t hear what was being said, it was that there would bea lot of emotion and they didn’t need someone looking on.

Once the door closed, Peter began to pray and pray hard. He heldabsolutely no animosity toward Anna Jo because of what her mother had done. He

had a soft place in his heart for her and always would. And he had been shocked atClaire’s first reaction to her. So as he lay praying, he asked God for healing and

wholeness to enter their lives and for them to find common ground so a friendshipcould grow between them. And his prayer was answered.



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Now, on a regular basis, Claire talked about what she and Anna Jo haddone together. She’d talk in vague terms about what they would do, and now heunderstood why. Anna Jo was going to be a part of the Community Mission teamand Claire had not wanted to spoil her secret until she was ready. But she did wanthim to know that they were getting along and had become friends.

“Did you just hear what I said?” Claire asked as she put her hands on herhips.“Every word,” he said and smiled.

*

As Hetty closed her office door, she saw Nora come from the kitchen.“Good night, Nora,” she called. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Nora said with a weak smile. Picking up on it immediately she

asked, “Nora? Are you okay?”“Well,” she began, “do you have just a minute?” she asked clearly not

wanting to impose on her friend, but she felt she needed to talk.“Of course, would you like to go in my office?” Hetty offered.“No,” Nora said shaking her head, “I think I’d rather go outside and just

walk if you don’t mind.”“Not at all,” Hetty said, opening her office door back up and setting her

purse down by the couch. As she closed the door, she quickly turned and followedNora who had already walked out onto the front porch.

In silence they began their walk around the Guardian Home grounds. It was an easy silence, one without expectations or impatience. Their presence gavecomfort to one another and it was a cherished gift.

Hetty waited for Nora to speak first. Knowing that sometimes it took herself a while to get thoughts together, she wanted to provide that opportunity toNora.

Finally Nora spoke. “Harold has sold the house,” she said.“Isn’t that something you were expecting?” Hetty asked tenderly.

“Sort of,” Nora told her. “I told him he could do whatever he wanted to. Iknew he needed to sell the house to pay back part of the debt,” she said sighing. “Iguess I just didn’t expect it to sell so quickly.”

Hetty didn’t respond. Nora didn’t need her to.“I signed the papers today, so the closing will be tomorrow.”“I see,” Hetty said, and then asked, “how does that make you feel, Nora?”“It’s funny. At first, I was surprised. I didn’t even know he had it up for

sale. But when he brought them by, I didn’t hesitate to sign them. I was neverhappy there, Hetty, so there was no way I was going to go back there, and so there

was no reason not to sign the papers.”“So you’re not sad about the house being sold,” Hetty stated.“No,” Nora said, trying to put her finger on just exactly what it was she was

feeling. “I’m not confused or anything,” she said out loud, more to herself than toHetty. “And I’m not really sad or happy. I’m just…”



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Turning to her friend she looked at her and said, “It just makes ourseparation so real.” Finally being able to state it, Nora began to explain, “Before thehouse sold, it was as if I could go back, not that I ever would have, mind you,” shesaid making that point extremely clear. “But it was still an option. It was something that held us together and now…now I don’t have that.”

“Do you want a connection to Harold?” Hetty probed.“Well, we have the kids of course, but beyond that,” Nora said reflecting ontheir life together, “we really have nothing in common. For years we’ve beengrowing apart.”

“So…,” Hetty urged With a smile, Nora said, “That was it I guess. It’s real now. There’s no

going back only forward.”“And isn’t that what you wanted?” Hetty asked.“Yes,” Nora said thoughtfully, “it is. I do want to start fresh. And I’m

doing that here,” she smiled.“And the money from the sale of the house?” Hetty questioned. She felt so

protective of her friend. Harold had practically left her destitute and if not forGuardian Home, Hetty had no idea what Nora would have done. But God provides she thought immediately. God is in control and He knows and He provides. “Will you getany of the money?” Hetty asked.

“No, probably not,” Nora said. “But I’m okay with that, really,” she saidsmiling at her friend. “I really am, Hetty. What I have here, money can’t buy.”

Nora hugged Hetty and it was gratefully returned. “So,” Hetty had to ask,

“what is Harold going to do now that he’s sold the place?”Nora smiled and chuckled, “He moved in with his mother.”Hetty laughed as well, “That,” she said, “is a pair that deserve one another.”

*

The summer sun shown down on Anna Jo and Rendon as they walkedalong the trial in Lyndee Park.

“So, when do you leave?” Anna Jo asked.“In a couple of weeks,” he said.“Oh,” was all she could say. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry and

she was doing her best to hold herself to that promise.“Anna Jo,” Rendon said continuing to walk, “I’m coming back.”“Sure,” she said.“Don’t you believe me?” he asked, hurt that she would question him.“I believe you mean that, Rendon, but…” she hesitated to say what she

really believed, but then decided that she might as well say everything that was on

her heart, and if she got hurt, then so be it. She had been hurt before and knew she would probably be hurt again. Taking a deep breath, she finished her sentence, “I’msure you’ll be back, but I’m just not sure that you’ll be back for me.”



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Shaking his head, Rendon stopped, “Why would you say that, Anna Jo?” heasked searching her face for her true feelings. “Don’t you know how I feel aboutyou?”

“Rendon, you’re the kind of guy that every girl wants. And you’re going off to college and you’re going to be surrounded by girls and…”

“And there is not another girl for me Anna Jo,” he said firmly. Anna Jo walked off the trail and sat down in the grass. Playing with a bladeof grass she began to open up to Rendon in a way that she had been afraid to dobefore. Breathing deeply, trying to calm her sudden rush of nerves, she finally began to talk.

“Rendon I really don’t want to be hurt, and I could really very easily be hurtby you,” she honestly. “You make me feel so pretty and smart and…well you makeme feel like I’m somebody, like I’m special, and….”

“You are, Anna Jo, you…” he spoke quickly, wanting her to know how

much he cared for her. He wanted her to know and to feel about him the way hefelt about her.

“Don’t,” she interrupted him, putting her hand up to stop him, “please,Rendon. Please just let me finish, okay?”

Grabbing her hand, he held it to his lips and kissed it, then placed it in hislap and with reluctance nodded that he agreed to just listen.

Anna Jo had to get him to understand that she cared enough about him,that she didn’t want him to commit to something he’d regret. She didn’t want himtied to a promise that he would probably regret and eventually break. She had had

enough regrets in her life and she didn’t want any more, especially with someone shecared so deeply for.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us,” she finally continued, “and I think it would be best if we just stayed friends. I mean if you see someone then you candate her. And then, maybe, someday when you’re out of college, if we’re both stillsingle, then we’ll see. Okay?” she asked.

“Anna Jo,” he said choosing his words carefully, “I’ve dated girls and after a while I decided that I just wasn’t going to date because, well, it was just a waste of

time. There are more important things for me to do with my life than to flirt anddate a girl that I know isn’t someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”“But how do you know that, Rendon, how…,” Anna Jo struggled to give

voice to her uncertainty, “how can you be sure when you find the right girl?”“It’s funny,” Rendon laughed, “I wondered the same thing. I talked to my

dad about it for a long time. He told me that I would just know, that it would feelright when we were together and wrong when we were apart. She would besomeone that would be my best friend. Anna Jo, at the time I didn’t believe himreally.”

Rendon stopped and looked at Anna Jo, making sure she was looking athim. He wanted to make his point and he wanted to be sure that she understood.“But now I do,” he said. “Anna Jo, you’re that girl. My dad was right.”

“But Rendon, we’re so different,” she protested.



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“We may have been raised differently, but that doesn’t mean we’re differentin our goals and dreams and what we want in life.”

Anna Jo was quiet. She knew that she had strong feelings for Rendon, butafter the life she had lived with mother and had seen and heard some of the thingsmen had promised her, she was cautious. In her heart she knew that Rendon was

different, that he would never treat her the way men had treated her mother. Butstill, it was hard to really believe that someone as wonderful as Rendon would really like her. She felt as if he was, not above or superior to her, but just out of herleague. He was every girl’s dream and here he was, saying these things to her.

Trying to keep a level head, Anna Jo brought the conversation back toreality. “You’re going off to college, Rendon. You’re going to be gone for at leastfour years.”

“But I’m going to come back. I’ll be back every chance I get. You haveone more year of school. By then I’ll have my basics out of the way…and then we’ll

see.” Anna Jo cautioned, “That’s a long way off, Rendon, and a lot can happen in

that time.”Rendon looked at Anna Jo and knew she must be thinking about the men

in her mother’s life. He didn’t know how to prove his feelings for her except to say,“That time, Anna Jo, is going to be spent with us getting to know one anotherbetter. We’re going to write letters to each other and we’re going to take it slow.”

Hesitating and praying that he’d get the answer he wanted to hear, he said,“I just need to know that you feel the same, Anna Jo.”

Faltering out of fear Anna Jo finally responded, “I don’t want Rendon,”said, “but I do. You mean more to me than I thought possible, and it scares me. Itreally scares me.”

Rendon reached over and took Anna Jo in his arms, “There is no doubt inmy mind that you’re the girl God has brought into my life, Anna Jo. There is nodoubt at all. And I’m going to prove it to you.” Smiling he added, “And the only

way I can prove that to you is just day by day. You’re in my heart, Anna Jo, and youalways will be.”

*

“Why didn’t you tell me, Peter?” Claire asked. “Why did you wait untilnow?”

Peter sighed, “Because David and I have been discussing a lot of optionsand it wasn’t until today that we finally got the last of the information and had tomake a decision.”

“What kind of options, Peter?” Claire asked clearly upset that he had been

making plans and had not even considered what she might think or would be willing to do to help.

“Options about treatments and types of operations, and the differentdoctors who perform them,” he told her. “And none of them are here, Claire.”



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“So,” Claire said, “you’re just going to go. You’re not going to consideranything I have to say or…”

“Claire,” Peter said firmly, “listen to me. This is not the decision I wantedto make, but it’s the one I had to.”

“Why?” Claire said almost pouting. “Why do you have to go to another

city to get the operations you need.”“Claire you’re not listening,” he said. “David can’t do it all, Claire. He’ssaved my life, yes, but he can’t help me walk. Not here, Claire, not in this hospital.My best chance is going to a larger hospital with specially trained doctors. Andunfortunately the best one is out of state.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Claire said.“No,” Peter answered decisively.Shocked at how matter of fact he was being, Claire began to get upset.

“Great, so now you’re pushing me out of your life, just as you were dragging me

into it?” Claire asked.Peter smiled, “That’s what I love about you, Claire. You have the unique

ability to state things very succinctly.”Claire gave him a questioning look.Peter lost his smile. Why did I think this was going to be easy he thought. This

was the conversation that he had been dreading and she was not making it any easier. He and David had discussed everything at length and now that the decision

was made, he had deluded himself into believing that it would be easy to get Claireto understand that this was something he had to do on his own. Now, faced with

the reality of it, he was not prepared. I’m half a man, Claire, Peter thought I’m damaged goods and I’m scared…

“I can’t walk, Claire. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to walk again.”“That doesn’t matter to me!” she declared.“Well, it sure matters to me!” Peter responded equally emphatic. “And I’m

going to do everything in my power to walk again.”“I didn’t mean that I don’t care if you walk, Peter. I meant that...”Peter lay back on his pillows, “I know, Claire, I know,” he said in an almost

surrendering tone.“Look,” he said, “I’ll be back, Claire. And when I do, I want it to be on my own two legs.”

“But how long will that take, Peter?” Claire asked afraid of the answer she was going to hear, but had to ask it anyway.

“I don’t know, Claire. And I don’t think the doctors can tell me either. We’re just going to have to take it one day at a time and depend on God every stepof the way.”

“But what if…” Claire started.

“No,” Peter said, stopping her, “we’re not going to do “what ifs” or“maybes” or anything else, Claire.”

Taking her hand Peter looked directly into her eyes, “If you’re willing to gothrough this with me, then we’re not going to regret the past or borrow worry from



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the future, we’re just going to face each day as it dawns, and make our plansaccordingly. Can you do that?” he asked.

Claire smiled and said “Are you worth it?”Peter grimaced, and then Claire leaned over and kissed him. “You are, you

know,” she said.”

“It took you long enough to realize it,” Peter said as he pulled her towardhim and then kissed her again.Pulling herself away from him, she looked at him seriously and said, “Peter,

you once asked me “Where do I go from here?” she said then paused for a moment.“I remember,” he said.“The answer is Peter…I wait.”

*

As Claire walked up the porch steps to her old home, she felt relieved andhappy at the decision she had made to sell the house to Jess.

Already Jess had added her own personal touches that made the house hersand it was wonderful to see the house brought back to life. Knocking on the door,she listened intently to see if she could hear baby Emma crying.

Opening the door, Claire saw her dear friend beaming. “Motherhood isgood for you,” Claire said as she entered the home. Still looking at Jess, Clairecouldn’t help but comment, “You are absolutely glowing, Jess,” she said.

“Well, Emma is a dream,” Jess said walking toward the baby’s room. “She

is an angel.” As the two entered, Claire greeted Anna Jo and Nora who had dropped by

for a visit.“I wondered whose truck that was,” Claire said coming over to stand beside

the crib with them.Not taking her eyes from the sleeping child, Nora said, “It belongs to the

home,” Nora told her. “Anna Jo and I are getting some fresh plantings for thegarden, but we thought we’d stop by here first.”

“She’s so tiny,” Anna Jo said reaching out and putting her finger along sideEmma’s. “It’s hard to believe that we all start out so small.” Jess walked over and joined the group. “I know,” she said gently brushing

Emma’s light sandy tuff of hair. “She’s a true miracle.” As they all stared at the baby, finally Claire broke the silence. Looking

around her old room she smiled, “This is just beautiful Jess. You have done afabulous job.”

Jess smiled and looked around at all the stenciling she had done and cloudsshe had painted on the ceiling. “It was a labor of love,” she said. Then she laughed,

“But don’t ask David,” she said, “he’ll go on and on about how hard it was.”Leaving the room they all chuckled.

As they made their way to the kitchen, Claire continued to look around.“You have done a great job, Jess. I just can’t get over it,” she said. “Everything is



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fresh and new, but I still see the old place too. I mean it,” she declared, “this is justgreat.”

“It is,” said Nora. “I wasn’t here but a couple of times and it looked wonderful then, but this just looks like you, Jess.”

“Thanks,” Jess replied, enjoying the fruits of her labor. It had been difficult

getting everything done before the baby was born, but what couldn’t be donebefore, she had finished afterward. “My mother and sisters helped, so it wasdefinitely a joint effort. And there is still a ton I’d like to do, but I’m not going torush it,” Jess told them as she started making tea, “I’m going to enjoy the processand my baby.”

Once the tea pot began to whistle, Jess put together a serving tray and took it out on the side porch. “I’m glad I can come back here,” Claire said.

“You are welcome any time Claire. All of you are, I hope you know that,” Jess said sitting the tray down. “I can’t believe you wanted to leave all this furniture

and so much of the stuff in the house behind, Claire.”“Well, it belongs here,” Claire said as she fixed her Earl Gray the way her

mother used to like it, with a dash of cream and a touch of sugar. Looking up at Jess she corrected, “Not that you have to keep it all by any means,” she said. “It’syours to do with as you please. I just don’t have room for it.”

“Well, IF we ever decide to sell anything, I’ll let you know first,” Jess said asshe sat down in her rocker. After adjusting the baby monitor so she could hearEmma breathing, Jess finished, “this is just such a wonderful spot. I can’t tell youhow pleased I am we’re here.”

“Me, too,” said Claire. “The last memories in this house were not the mostpleasant, I must say.”

Jess nodded. “Have you heard back from Tony’s attorney?” she asked.“Yeah,” she said. “He wants to plea bargain the charges.”“And,” asked Nora, “are you going to?”Claire closed her eyes for a moment. “I just want it all to go away, you

know?” she said. “I just him to go away.”“So, will that happen?” Jess asked concerned for Claire’s safety after all the

stunts Tony had pulled.“Well, that’s what I’m working on. He thinks because of the will I have allthis available cash and that I owe him or something. He has gotten himself intosuch a mess financially that it would take a miracle to work it all out and I am not,”Claire repeated for emphasis, “I am NOT that miracle.”

“So what do you do?” Nora asked.“Well,” Claire said smiling, “I’m setting up a restraining order and there are

a few other things that my attorney, Mr. Mahoney, is looking into for me that if heever comes near me, I can cause him more grief than he could afford.”

“Good,” Jess said. “That is one man I hope I never see again.”Claire raised her cup, “You can say that again, sister!”

They all laughed and began to talk about lighter subjects and theconversation eventually turned back to the house.

“The place is just wonderful, Jess,” Nora said. “I am really impressed.”



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“It’s almost as pretty as your garden,” Anna Jo added.“Now don’t go that far, dear,” Nora said good naturedly. “I’ve got a green

thumb, but I just don’t have an eye for putting things together like this.”Sipping on her tea, Anna Jo looked around at the women around her and

listened to their friendly conversation. She knew she was so blessed to have them in

her life and would be eternally grateful for all they had done for her. In the last yearher life had taken so many twists and turns, she felt like she was a different person. As she took another sip, she remembered the question that Peter had asked

her just before he left for the new hospital. His parents had left the room, making final arrangements and Claire was due in shortly, but for the moment they werealone and it was such a wonderful insightful conversation. Peter in all his wisdomhad shared scripture with her to encourage her and they had discussed Rendon atlength. It was so good to talk to someone that knew him as well as she did.

Thinking back on that time, Anna Jo looked at the women and felt so

comfortable with them.“Can I ask you something?” Anna Jo said breaking in to their conversation.“Of course,” Jess said. “What is it?”“Have you ever thought about angels? I mean, have you really ever

considered what they do and everything?” she asked.“Yes,” Nora said and smiled. “I think about them all the time. And I

thank God for them.” Jess also smiled, “On occasion, yes. I believe they’re here to help us when

we need it.”

Claire sat there, thinking about it…angels. She really hadn’t thought muchabout angels really. She knew they were mentioned in the Bible and that they werecreated beings by God, so they were real, but she never really thought about it thatmuch. Finally she asked, “Why, Anna Jo? What do you think about them?”

Anna Jo smiled. “I’m surrounded by them.”

THE END

Dedicated to Chloe Ann Cross

September 11, 1989 – November 11, 2006

Put your angels around her Lord,to guide her way this very day

and may that walk be straight and true and may it always be right to you.



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A Gathering of Angels

In a moment of time,in one breath of eternity,

life forever changes.

And the suddenness of it shakes my soul and shatters my heart and I fearnever will I be whole.

And as my being reaches the depths of a despairthat I never imagine existed

I weep in anger at the unfairnessI cry in pain at the wrong I rage against the untimely I surrender to the unknown

and in my soul I feel alone.For I have reached beyond endurance and there is no end

then You Lord…You are there.For You knew where I was falling

and you readied your angels fairto come and gather

round me You, Oh Lord were ready to receive my brokenness,

for each piece is lifted up on angels wings

and carried home to you.

So tender is the touch you share…I was not alone, for You were always there.

And now I see Your angelsthat are gathered all around

For they are the friend that holds my weeping soul And they are the one who listens when words fail to be enough

And they are the hands that prepare food for my weakened body And they are the ones that bear me up When I have no strength of will

They are the hands that hold my heart They are Your legs that walk beside me

They are Your tender smile of understanding

And I know it is You of God…You and your angels. Though this side of heaven we find no answers for why some things occur,

Oh Lord your angels carry me as I try to see my way through my tears.

Lifting me up, surrounding me with love and holding me closeOh God, You who have surrounded me with your angels

so that I can go on.

A Gathering of Angels Lulu

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