6 Manliest Religions

8/7/2019 6 Manliest Religions

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6 Manliest Religions

When it comes to religion there are many optionsout there. However, if you want a truly kick-a$@ religion, with a God that eats fire and picks his teeth with lightning bolts, you should look

at the ancient cults; the ones filled with monstrous demons and insanely cool deities. And if youwant more something more than some awesome mythology you should look at this list ofreligions that want you to be a bad-a$@ just to apply formembership.

1.Mithraism

This is a religion where the main god was born out of stone only so he could kill a bull and dancein the beasts blood.

Does your god kill bulls? We didn't think so.
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Even better no one has any clue where the religion originated from, or if it had any prophets orsaints. It just appeared out of nowhere in the second century AD. One day its not there, the nextit was spread all over the Roman Empire with almost every other soldier a member. Oh did weforget to mention that being a soldier was a prerequisite? No women were part of the cult andaside from a few emperors and other politicians, who presumably gained power because of their

close ties to the army, the whole church was composed of soldiers.

However, being a soldier in one of the most brutal periods of history was not enough, you alsohad to be initiated into the church and there were seven levels before you were considered a full-fledged member. The initiation process was found engraved on several drinking cups where wecan see what looks like a higher level Mithrian pointing a bow at a recruit. Think about it thisway, instead of a welcome packet to a new church you get shot in the face with an arrow; andthen you have six more levels to go.

2.Greek Orthodox

Lets face it, Christianity is not the most manly religion around. While Vikings have fight to thedeath as a way to get into heaven, Christians are more or less focused on love and turning the


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other cheek. There isnt much room for secret initiations and badassery in a religion that adviseseveryone to love thy neighbor. Then there are the kinds of Christians that will go out of their wayto be amazing.


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Meet the Greek Orthodox monks from Meteora. These are men who decided to find the mostremote and God forsaken peaks in all of Greece and then live in stone cracks, barely the size oftheir bodies. At first the only way to reach the caves where these monks lived was by climbinghundreds of meters of sheer rock, praying to God that the trip was worth it. When the monkseventually decided to create whole monasteries up there they used ladders and pulleys made outof ropes which they replaced only when the Lord let them break. If you were the unlucky guyin the rope basket when the Lord decided it was time to let gravity winwell you had a lot oftime to think about your life before you hit the rocky bottom.

Nowadays the monasteries are mostly tourist attractions, but you can still find dedicated GreekOrthodox monks on Mt. Athos, where not only did they survive centuries of pirate attacks, butthey still grow some of the most awesome breads in the world.


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3.Tengriism

What do Genghis Khan, the Turkish Empire and the Bulgarians that conquered Asia Minor andmuch of Eastern Europe have in common? Besides having a culture built around horses and being incredibly efficient at killing Christians they also shared one of the most bad-a$@religions around.


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The tengriists believed that the gods of sky and earth gave the power of the wolf to those thatfollowed their teachings, under the condition that they did the actions that praised their name.Like what? Well, here is an example right out of their traditional stories: after defeating all onethousand guards of the enemy warlord [he] wound rose-faced Sangum in a cheek. They aretalking about one of the greatest tengriist hero, and is it just us or does he sound like the story of

300?


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300 or Tengriist way of life? Hard to tell.

But the tengriist faith is not all about war and killing, one of the most important festivalsinvolved all men climb a hill where they would gather around a sacred Birch tree (incidentally ifthere was no Birch tree on the hill, they would dig one up and transplant it from miles away)where they would sacrifice sheep. Which doesnt sound cool until you find out that theysacrificed the sheep by ripping its heart, straight out of its chest, bear handed.

As if that was not enough as a leader of the Turkic or Mongolian tribes it was your god givenpurpose to gather all the tribes under your rule and like a pack of wolves attack the christiansheep. If you failed to rise to this task you were a bad leader and your people were permitted tokill you. That must have certainly put some pressure on most leaders.

4.Thuggee

Remember the second Indian Jones movie, not the screaming chick or the pointless sidekick.Think about the insane, skull worshiping Indians. It turns out they were pretty real and if thathadnt been Hollywood magic they would have killed professor Jones three times before hecould have said one single cool one-liner.


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The Thuggee were an ancient Indian cult who prayed to Kali, the goddess of insanity and everykind of violence you can imagine. They were also the first to create an organized crime cartelthat used complex props, paramilitary techniques and misinformation in order to kill more than30,000 travelers; but they didnt kill because they were mean, it was just the proper way to givesacrifice to Kali. You had to kill at night with a yellow scarf, twisted into a noose and you werenever supposed to spill blood. Also you could not kill a relatively long list of people including

lepers. Turns out Kali doesnt like lepers.


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Kali at her best

The society was so secret and well organized that it took the British government almost 200

years to figure out that something was wrong and another 50 to break the organization apart. Thecult was so powerful that the word Thug entered the dictionary because of them.

5.Sikhism

You always wanted to grow a bad-a$@ beard and a sweet handlebar mustache but never foundthe right reason? How about joining a religion where you must look as manly as possible at alltimes? Oh and as a bonus you get a dagger when youre first baptized; a sharp implement ofdeath which you must carry with you at all times. What would you do with said dagger? Youfight anyone who dares oppress you such as the Mongols, the Muslims or the British. Beingoutnumbered just makes the whole fighting more fun for everybody. And because no other

martial art was intense enough the sikhs also invented their own fighting style, named Gatka
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gatkahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gatka


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Still not convinced that the Sikh religion is bad-$@? During the First and Second World War the

Sikh battalions won a record amount of medals and in the words of a British general theyregularly entered battle during shell fire, with no other protection but the turban, the symbol oftheir faith.

Heck even Winston Churchill mentioned their bravery In the war, they fought and died for us,wearing the turbans. hmm that turban comment might have been a bit racist Sir. Churchill,but well let it fly on account of keeping Britain Nazi free.

But since a handful of medals is not enough the Sikh also have also fought in what is generallyaccepted as the the greatest stories of collective bravery in human history, namely the Battle ofSaragarhi where 21 Sikh soldiers chose to fight against 10,000 Afghan soldiers.

It all comes with the beard

6.Shaolin Monks

We covered a lot of cool religions so far, but maybe growing large beards and carrying daggersis not really your style. If youd prefer to shave your head and you want to turn your hands intodeadly fighting tools, have you considered the Shaolin Monks?


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The Shoaolin monks have trained themselves to ignore such minor inconveniences like sharpspears or swords and they can hang around in nooses without such issues, like dying. Even more,almost every martial art in the world seems to be connected in one way or another to the Shaolintemple and these bad-a$@ monks that spend most of their time breaking stuff with their heads.

Need even more proof of how awesome the Shaolin are? How about the fact that in order todefeat them in 1732 the Chinese emperor imported Tibetan Lamas (we assume they used theholly men not the animal) who had knowledge of a secret flying weapon.Yep, the emperor ofChina had to use helicopters to defeat the Shaolin. However, despite being burned downrepeatedly, the monastery was always rebuilt and is still there today, accepting new members.
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6 Manliest Religions

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