Making It More

Gooder.By E. Luchs

Improving Revision:

My dilemma stems from an awareness that not all of my students are fully utilizing the revision step of the writing process. Furthermore, finding a fair and impartial way to assess the growth in writing for all students, regardless of their current capabilities is problematic. I want to ensure that all students are being challenged and are showing growth from their original draft to their publication.

Dilemma

AYP School Designation: Watch ELA AYP Designation: Watch

In 2012, 65% of 8th graders passed their proficiency.

122 students (22%) failed with a 4/8. 1434 students enrolled for the 2012-2013 school

year. American Indian /Alaskan Native 0.7% Asian / Pacific Islander 10.1% Hispanic / Latino 23.9% Black / African American 15.1% White / Caucasian 50.2%

School demographics Students with an IEP: 11.9% Limited English Proficient (LEP) Students: 14.2% Students Receiving Free or Reduced Price Lunch:

48%

Becker Middle School Demographics:

Prewriting Class Rules- I don’t know is NOT okay.

Drafting Pencil in hand

Background of my teaching philosophy:

Reflect on why revision is

important to your students’ growth as a writer?

Do you find that certain groups of students struggle with revision? If so, why?

What problems do you encounter within your own classroom with students revising their work?

How do you assess revision in your classroom?

For 3 minutes:

Students must understand their expectations to be able to meet them!

The 4 point rubric!

“Writing IS revising, and the writer’s craft is largely a matter of knowing how to discover what you have to say, develop, and clarify it, each requiring the craft of revision.”

-Donald MurrayBest Practices in Writing

Instructions.

Take a moment and write a

sentence to describe what you look for in each of these parts of revision!

Ideas Organization Voice Word Choice Sentence Fluency

Analytical Traits Overview

Discuss with your group members what holistic grade you think your particular writing piece would be given.

Rewriting is the essence of writing well—where

the game is won or lost.—William Zinsser

With your group members, discuss:

What are some typical improvements that you want to see in your students’ ideas revision?

How do you ensure that they are making growth from the rough draft to the final draft?

Ideas

Original descriptive sentence ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Improved sentence. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Explanation of why this sentence is improved.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Show, don’t tell!

What are some of the ways in which students struggle with organization of their papers?

What sorts of things would you add to a checklist for your students to improve on?

Organization-

Does the paper have an introduction

that leads into the topic sentence? Does the paper have a conclusion that

readdress the topic sentence and is satisfying to the reader?

Does each body paragraph have a single supporting idea that supports the topic sentence? What are they?

Are the supporting ideas jumping around and repetition of the sentences?

Are transitions used as new topics and paragraphs get introduced?

Possible checklist questions:

When we refer to an author’s ‘voice’ in a paper, what is it that we’re referring to?

In what ways can students improve it?

How can educators assess the analytical trait of voice?

Voice-

Awareness of audience. Enthusiasm for the topic. Writer evokes emotion from

the audience Use of literary techniques,

such as figurative language. Punctuation usage. Imagery

Things to keep in mind for revising

voice:

In what ways does a strong word-choice affect the quality of the piece?

What strategies can we model to improve ‘Tier 3’ word usage for students?

Word Choice:

Original Verb: Improved Verb: ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________

Original Adjective: Improved Adjective:

______________ ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________

Word Choice:

“Sentence combining practice provides writers with systematic knowledge of syntactic possibilities, the access to which allows them to sort through alternatives in their heads as well as on paper and to choose those which are most apt" –Hillocks, 1986.

What are some troubles that fixing sentence fluency can improve?

What strategies do you implement to help with sentence fluency?

What problems have you encountered when you have utilized peer-revision in the past?

Group Discussion:

Structure each group to have a balance of

abilities!

Groups: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Highest H H H H H H H HMid-High MH MH MH MH MH MH MH MHMid-Low ML ML ML ML ML ML ML MLLow L L L L L L L L

The Kagan strategies and research show that a fair balance of all academic achievers offers the greatest growth. When working with “elbow partners,” the highest students are best paired with the mid-low, and the mid-high with the low. This lowers behavioral management issues, as well as offers the optimal student improvement for the lower students.

Kagan Grouping Strategies:

Structure is essential for peer-revision! Setting a protocol and following it

consistently deters off-task behavior and enhances productivity in the groups!

Set up criteria for feedback! Responses should be specific and constructive! Warm feedback should indicate what the

author did well. Cool feedback should indicate where

improvement is needed,., but in a respectful manner.

As a third party, the teacher should be able to see EXACTLY where these feedbacks are being indicated.

Believe in the Process!