Dating RelationshipsGrade 12 Family Studies

Dating vs. Courtship

In the past instead of dating, couples courted.

Courtship is all about looking for a marital partner.

What is dating?

Spending leisure time together for the sake of enjoyment, without any intention to marry in the near future.

Stages in a Dating Relationship› Random Dating: no commitment beyond

date itself› Casual Dating: still no commitments but

expectations exist about spending more time together.

› Steady Dating: monogamy

Why do we date? Socialization

› To develop appropriate social skills.› To practice getting along with others in different

settings. Recreation

› To have fun and enjoy the companionship of others.

› To try new and different activities. Mate Selection

› To see others in many different settings.› To compare the personality and characteristics

of many people.

Attraction

What is it that attracts you to someone else?

Dependent on a number of factors:› Family background: Interests and

personality traits of parents› Past experiences› Physical appearance› Social status

DATING: Principles of Attraction

We are generally attracted to: People who make you feel as able,

attractive, and worthy as you are. People who seem popular with your

friends. People who can satisfy a particular need People who remind you of pleasant

experiences. People who remind you of positive

relationships in your home environment.

DATING: Principles of Attraction

**You can also be repelled by people who remind you of negative experiences**

Definitions

Homogamy: Marrying similar people in terms of their social or cultural characteristics

Heterogamy: Marrying people different in social or cultural characteristics (opposites attract)

Endogamy: Marriage within a group Exogamy: Marriage to partners from other

cultural groups Hypogamy: marrying someone of less age,

height or socio-economic status Hypergamy: marrying someone older, taller or

higher in socio-economic status.

END OF DATING NOTES!!!

On to some case studies …

DATING RULES

Imagine you are a parent …. We will now take a few minutes to

discuss how parents may feel about certain dating situations, using the case studies.

You Are the Parent CASE STUDY #1: Your daughter comes home from a date and is

upset. When you ask her what is wrong, she explains that her date took her to a party where he got drunk. She was very frightened as he drove her home. How would that make you, as a parent, feel?

You Are the Parent

CASE STUDY #2: Your son comes home from a date

and confides in you that his date seduced him. How would you feel? What would you do?

You Are the Parent

CASE STUDY #3 It’s 11:45 pm. Your daughter runs in the

door crying. After you calm her down, she tells you that her date raped her. How would you feel? What would you do?

You Are the Parent CASE STUDY #4 Your daughter comes into your room to talk to

you late one night and says: “Mom, Dad, I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you this, but there just doesn’t seem to be a right time. I think I’m pregnant.” How would you feel? What would you do?

You Are the Parent

CASE STUDY #5 A car full of teens pulls up in front of

your house and honks the horn for your son/daughter. Just as she/he is leaving the house, you see beer cans in the rear window of the car. What would you do?

You Are the Parent

CASE STUDY #6 Your son is really infatuated with a girl at

school. Every time you have seen this girl she has been wearing revealing clothing. Does this concern you? What would you do?

If You Were the Parent…

What rules would you have for your teenager?

What would keep them safe?

What about your rules?

What dating rule are you going to live by when you go off to college or move out on your own?

ValuesReview: › Values are the principles that we believe in and that should guide our behavior.

› What we value has a big impact on who we date.

Dating

We usually depend on our friends and families to introduce us to eligible partners.

North Americans are increasingly turning to dating services to assist them when they are no longer meeting people who interest them.

Assignment: Part 1

Write up 10 of your own personal rules and responsibilities relating to dating behaviors. Behaviors need to comply with your personal values and that protect yourself.

Assignment: Part 2

Using your 10 values, make a personal ad for yourself (similar to one that may go on a dating site).

Include a little bit about yourself and what you are looking for in a partner. You may also include what you are NOT looking for but try to make it as positive as possible. Do not focus on the negative.

Abbreviations

List of single-letter abbreviationsThe following are examples of singleletter abbreviations used in threeletter acronyms (TLAs).

The first letter describes the personseeking.

D: Divorced F: Female G: Gay M: Male (or Man) M: Married S: Single T: Transgender W: Woman or Widower

Middle letterThe middle letter represents theethnicity of the person posting the ad.Can be replaced by 4, standing for ("seeking", "desires", etc.). A: Asian B: Black H: Hispanic J: Jewish or Japanese L: Latino or Latina W: White

Last letter C: Couple F: Female M: Male (or Man) T: Transgender W: Woman