Courtship (Traditional) Phil.

7/22/2019 Courtship (Traditional) Phil.

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Filipino Flirting and Courtship during the Colonial Period

With Valentine's Day around the corner, one wonders

how expressions of physical attraction and love were expressed by our foreparents.

The harana (serenade) is of course, the manner by which the man expresses his love and admiration to

the lady.The harana was an exclusively nocturnal practice. Because of the daytime tropical weather, the

evening offers respite from the heat. It is the time when everybody comes alive, full of romantic ideas,

and as is typical of Filipino nature, always ready to enjoy the company of friends and loved ones. It was

during this old Philippines, before the widespread use of electricity, that haranawas at its ripest.

In this endeavor, the most trusted instrument is the guitar with its intimate sound complementing

Spanish-influenced songs, not to mention the breezy and quiet air of a tropical night.

For a young man in colonial Philippines, it was certainly advantageous to possess musical abilities as it

was often useful in wooing a Filipina woman. However, all is not lost if he lacks the talent. It was

common practice to enlist friends as well as hire the best musicians in town. Thus, harana is not always a

solitary endeavor. In fact, it was also considered a social event. For the endeavor to be successful either

or both of these two instances have to happen: if the lady invites the man and his company inside for

refreshments. It then becomes an impromptu mini-soiree; and if the lady joins in the singing.

The man would have to wait until the young lady opened a window to listen. It would be up to her if she

wanted to invite them in for some refreshment and to chat after the song. Even if they had been asked

to come in, the suitor would not expect that he could have the chance of a private moment with his

object of affection. It was highly likely that the parents would also be there to entertain the man and his

friends

The love song, romantic and slow in tempo, is an expression of his undying love, even if this was

unrequited. Thus, the kundiman was born (from the term, "kung hindi man). It is a little known fact that

some kundiman pieces, such as Maala-ala Mo Kaya (lyrics Jose Corazon de Jesus, music Constancio de
http://raflaydo.multiply.com/journal/item/101/Filipino-Flirting-and-Courtship-during-the-Colonial-Periodhttp://raflaydo.multiply.com/journal/item/101/Filipino-Flirting-and-Courtship-during-the-Colonial-Periodhttp://raflaydo.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/1M/5927http://raflaydo.multiply.com/journal/item/101/Filipino-Flirting-and-Courtship-during-the-Colonial-Period


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Guzman), Dahil sa Yo (lyrics Dominador Santiago, music Mike Velarde) are examples where the lady is

invited to sing her part.

In 1916, Dr. Juan V. Pagaspas, a doctor of philosophy from Indiana University and a much beloved

educator in Tanauan, Batangas described the kundiman as "a pure Tagalog song which is usually very

sentimental, so sentimental that if one should listen to it carefully watching the tenor of words and theway the voice is conducted to express the real meaning of the verses, he cannot but be conquered by a

feeling of pity even so far as to shed tears." Dr. Francisco Santiago, the "Father of Filipino Musical

Nationalism" declared in 1931 that thekundiman "is the love song par excellence of the Filipinos, the

plaintive song which goes deepest into their hearts, song which brings them untold emotions."

Ambeth Ocampo mentions Pascual Poblete's 1922 work, Patnubay ng Pagsinta, which sheds light to pre-

war courtship and flirting of Filipinos. A woman does not directly communicate to the man: she shows

restraint, even disinterestedness even if she felt otherwise. She believed that the man will love her more

if he is made to work hard before giving him what he wants. She may also convey her message through

her handkerchief and handheld fan. Poblete mentions in detail the meanings behind the signs:

SALITAAN SA PANYO CAHULUGAN

Ihaplos sa mga labi Ibig cong maquipagsulatan

Ihaplos sa mga mata Lubhang nalulungcot aco

Ihaplos sa kaliwang kamay Ikaw ay quinapopootan co

Ihaplos sa dalawang pisngui Iniibig quita

Bayaang malaglag Tayo i magcacaibigan

Ipatong sa pisnguing canan Oo.

Ipatong sa pisnguing caliwa Hindi.Ihaplos sa balicat Sumunod ca sa aquin

Ihaplos sa dalawang mata Lubha cang ualang aua

Ticlopin Ibig cong maquipagusap sa iyo

Ticlopin ang mga dulo Hintain mo aco

Pilipintin ng dalawang camay Pagpapaualang halaga

Pilipitin sa camay na canan May ibang iniibig aco

Pilipitin sa camay sa caliua Pagpasial co, ayao cong maquialam sa iyo

Ibuhol sa hintuturo Mayroong casintahan aco

Ibuhol sa susuotang singsing Mayroong asawa aco

Ibuhol sa buong camay Aco ay sa iyoPaglaroan ang panyo Pinaualan quitang halaga

SALITAAN SA PAMAYPAY CAHULUGAN

Dalhing nacabitin sa camay na canan Ibig kong magcanovio


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Dalhing nacabitin sa camay na caliua Mayroong casintahan aco

Ipaypay ng madalas Malaqui ang pag-ibig co sa yo!

Ipaypay ng marahan Ualang halaga ca sa aquin!

Itiklop ng bigla Quinapopootan quita!

Bayaang malaglag Aco i tapat ang loob sa iyo

Tacpan ang calahating mucha Sumunod ca sa aquin

Bilangin ang mga tadyang Ibig cong magsalita sa iyo

Paglaroan ang horlas Umiibig aco sa iba at iniibig naman aco

Huag dalhin o ilagay sa bulsa Ayao cong maquipagligawan

Loveletters were also exchanged by our foreparents. Again, Poblete mentions the use of invisible ink.

Sticky substances like sap, milk or beer, when used in writing, can be read by the use of ground charcoal

passing through it. letters with ink made of water and the local tawas can be deciphered by wetting or

by exposing to sunlight. Letters using Ilocano vinegar or onion juice as ink may also be read when the

letter is passed through fire.

Flowers, accordingly, were also symbolically used in loveletters. Names of flowers were substituted for

phrases and times. Of course, the young man and the woman had to know the secret vocabulary. The

first person pronoun was written as isang dahon lamang, while the second person was written as

dalawang dahon and the third person was written as tatlong dahon. Thus, Ang pag-ibig mo i

nacamamatay sa aquin is written as Dalauang dahon ng mirto at Cicuta or Cagalingan mong magsalita

ay nacasisisra nang loob co becomes Dalawang dahon nang Nintea blanca at Verbena. Such system of

communicating was effective for their generation!

Paninilbihan or service was also expected to be done by the young man. Doing household chores was a

way to endear himself to the family of the woman, a concrete way of showing his sincere intention for

her. He understands that in courting and hopefully marrying her, he enters into her family as well.

Gentlemanliness was always a character associated with courtship.

LIGAWAN:COURTSHIP IN PHILIPPINE CULTURE

HARANA, ni Carlos V. Francisco


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Panliligaw or ligawan are the Tagalog terms for courtship, which in someparts of the Tagalog-speaking regions is synonymouswith pandidiga or digahan (from Spanish diga, 'to say,express'). Manliligaw is the one who courts a girl; nililigawan is the one who

is being courted.

In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike insome Western societies. A man who is interested in courting a woman has tobe discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen astoo presko or mayabang(aggressive or too presumptuous). Friendly datesare often the starting point, often with a group of other friends. Later, couplesmay go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly. If the couplehas decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell theirfamily and friends as well.

In the Philippines, if a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has tovisit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of thegirl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize therelationship without informing the parents of the girl. It is always expectedthat the guy must show his face to the girl's family. And if a guy wants to beacceptable to the girl's family, he has to give pasalubong(gifts) every time hedrops by her family's house. It is said that in the Philippines, courting aFilipina means courting her family as well.

In courting a Filipina, the metaphor often used is that of playing baseball. Theman is said to reach 'first base' if the girl accepts his proposal to go out on adate for the first time. Thereafter, going out on several dates is like reachingthe second and third bases. A 'home-run' is one where the girl formallyaccepts the man's love, and they become magkasintahan (from sinta, love), aterm for boyfriend-girlfriend.

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men

would make harana (serenade) the women at night and sing songs of loveand affection. This is basically a Spanish influence. The man is usuallyaccompanied by his close friends who provide moral support for the guy,apart from singing with him.

Filipino women are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it isseen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. By being pakipot, the


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girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love. It is also one wayby which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer.Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man's love.

A traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipinpa maiden) is someone whois mahinhin (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered) and doesnot show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately. She isalso not supposed to go out on a date with several men. The oppositeof mahinhin is malandi (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far ascourtship is concerned.

After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is theFilipino tradition of pamamanhikan (from panik, to go up the stairs of thehouse), where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for

her parents blessings to marry their daughter. It is also an occasion for theparents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man.

During pamamanhikan, the man and his parents bringsome pasalubong(gifts). It is also at this time that the wedding date isformally set, and the couple become engaged to get married.

http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm

Online resources say that Harana is a tradition form of courtship where a

man serenades a woman by singing at her window at night. This man is

usually accompanied by his close friends for moral support as well as

assistance in the singing part. If the guy has no talent in the singing

department, he could hire the best musicians in town. Its either the lady

would let him and his friends inside her house for refreshments (I saw this

on the TV show), or the lady would join in singing. With that, theharana isconsidered successful.

My father told me that it was the in thing during their time. It was when

people were always ready to enjoy the company of friends and loved ones,

and this harana thing was one of the barkadas gig. I dont know though if he
http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htmhttp://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htmhttp://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm


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did this while he was courting my mother. But for sure, my father could

sing. HA!

Im kind of sad to notice that this supposedly-big-event is not anymore (or,

rarely) practiced at present. Where have all the love songs gone? The

guitar-plucking skills? The never-mind-my-voice-as-long-as-I-could-sing-you-a-song attitude? Nah.. Its been replaced with modern courtship

practices such as

a.thru text msg (check! LOL),

b.thru PMs in Facebook/Friendster(check! haha),

c.thru IMs in Yahoo! messenger/Skype, and so on..

Yes dearest reader, that fast. Therefore, instant relationship at that! Now,

Im wondering if theres still anybody out there whod be willing to do this? Idoubt. Guys would just label this as so old-fashioned. I say, definitely

not!

I am totally liking this tradition. I think that haranais a sign of a young mans

genuine love. Im looking forward to experiencing this myself. *laughs* If

not, I am soooo gonna ask my future boyfie to do it! If all else fails, I will

blackmail Hopiaaa to do it! Bleh~~ He could do it over the phone. HA HA!http://lttlstps.wordpress.com/2010/07/06/probinsya-harana/

The root of the word, courtship, derives from an ancient Indo-European term, gher, which directly

translated means to grasp or enclose.

What Is Courtship?

Courtship is experiencing the blessing of God by loving the Lord Jesus Christ and honoring both sets

of parents. The purpose of courtship is to determine a couples readiness for marriage and to discern

the will of God for a covenant marriage that will benefit the world.

While the actual manifestation of a courtship relationship will vary because no two couples are alike,

one of the primary motivations behind courtship (as opposed to dating) is the protection of the

emotions of those involved until the time when it is clearly Gods will to proceed into marriage.

Foundational Principles of Courtship
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1. Ensure the blessing of God

The greatest asset of any person or marriage is Gods blessing.The blessing of the LORD, it maketh

rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it(Proverbs 10:22).

No couple will have a happy or prosperous marriage without the blessing of the Lord. If God does not

bless them, the devourer will damage and destroy their present and future joy and potential.

A blessed marriage is described in the following passage: Blessed is every one that feareth the

LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be,

and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy

children like olive plants round about thy table(Psalm 128).

2. Love the Lord Jesus Christ

Every believer is in a covenant relationship with the Lord and with all other believers. Therefore, the

decisions of one believer affect every member of the Body of Christ. If we say we love the Lord, we

must realize how our actions demonstrate our love for Him and others.

One way of loving God and others is to keep the commands of Christ, especially as they relate to

marriage. Jesus said, If ye love me, keep my commandments. He that hath my commandments,

and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I

will love him, and will manifest myself to him(John 14:15, 21).

Hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him,

and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his

word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him(I John 2:35).

3. Honor parents

The foundational command for the happiness and success of any marriage is Honour thy father and

thy mother(Exodus 20:12). God emphasized the seriousness of this command by giving the

following penalty for breaking it: For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely

put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him(Leviticus 20:9).

There are more than ten Hebrew words describing various degrees of cursing, from a violent

assigning to eternal condemnation to a mild disrespect. The word used in this command is the

milder term qalal,which simply means to make light of and to bring into contempt.

Jesus singled out this command and reaffirmed it as well as the judgment that went with it.For God

commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him

die the death(Matthew 15:4).

He went on to condemn the Pharisees for giving lip service to this commandment, but then making it

null and void by man-made traditions. (See Matthew 15:6.) It is impossible for a coupleregardless of

their ageto keep this commandment if they refuse to listen to the counsel and cautions of their

parents on the matter of marriage.


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If we say that a person over eighteen years of age has the legal right to make his own marriage

decisions, regardless of whether those decisions please his parents or not, we are making the Law of

God of no effect by our traditions.

The commandment does not say Honor parents only if they are believers, nor does it mean that to

honor is always to obey. If parents command a son or daughter to marry outside of Gods will, thatson or daughter must respectfully refuse to carry out their wishes.

To violate this command is to experience generations of grief and iniquity. The eye that mocketh at

his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young

eagles shall eat it(Proverbs 30:17).

Paul pointed out that although this is the fifth commandment in the Decalogue, it is the first

command to have a promise attached to it: Honour thy father and mother; which is the first

commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth

[good health and prosperity](Ephesians 6:23).

God has entrusted to the parents, and especially to the father, the responsibility to give the daughter

in marriage. Most wedding ceremonies affirm this fact when the minister asks,Who gives this

woman to this man?(See also Exodus 22:1617; I Corinthians 7:38.)

4. Determine marriage readiness

There are many practical considerations that parents need to evaluate before giving their blessing to

a marriage.

Does the young man have moral purity and victory over lust? (Involvement in pornography

will make it impossible for him to love his wife.)

Does the young man realize that in marriage he must give control of his body to his wife and

she must submit to him? (See I Corinthians 7:4.)

Is the young man sanctifying himself by engrafting Scripture into his heart and soul, so that

he can cleanse his wife by the Word? (See Ephesians 5:2526.)

Does the young man have the character and the skills to support a marriage and family?

What proof does he have of this?

Are both parties free of bitterness and guilt so they can leave father and mother and cleave

to each other?

Does the young man have a clear purpose in life that his wife can support? Are both parties living in total openness and in genuine love? (See I John 2:10.)

5. Discern Gods will

Since God has given the father of the girl the responsibility to protect her purity(see Deuteronomy

22:15) and the father of the young man the responsibility to evaluate his sons wisdom(see Proverbs

10:1), Gods first line of direction will be through them.


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However, even though all of the parents give their blessing, the marriage may still not be Gods will.

For example, if one party is an unbeliever, marriage to that person would violate Scripture. Be ye

not unequally yoked together with unbelievers(II Corinthians 6:14).

Also, if the son or daughter has been called by God to more years of single service, an appeal should

be made to their parents for their blessing. In any case, the parents cannot force a marriage, becausethe individual has the final say. (See Genesis 24:58, Matthew 19:1012, I Corinthians 7:2537, and

Isaiah 56:18.)

If one party has been married and divorced, and the previous partner is still living, it would not be

Gods will for that individual to marry another person.(See Luke 16:18, Romans 7:13, I Corinthians 7,

Malachi 2:1316, Mark 10:112,Matthew 5:2732, and Matthew 19:112.)

Note: The exception clause does not mean what many today think it means. When the disciples

understood it, they exclaimed, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to

marry(Matthew 19:10).

6. Establish a covenant marriage

Marriage is not a contract between two people; it is a sacred covenant between two people, two

families, and God, with witnesses to the vows.

A covenant marriage is joined by God and continues till death do us part. In a covenant

relationship, there is no tolerance of competing affections in either party. God has serious

consequences for those who violate their covenant vows. (See Ecclesiastes 5:17, Proverbs 6:2335,

Romans 7:13, Romans 1:3132, etc.)

Any minister who allows for divorce and remarriage, but leads a couple in the vows till death do us

part, must answer to God for lying to Him and causing a couple to lie to God. It would be moreappropriate to vow till divorce do us part, although that would violate a covenant relationship and

reveal a lack of genuine love.

7. Benefit the world

Paul points out that all believers are of the spiritual seed of Abraham. God blessed Abraham and

said, through thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed(Genesis 28:14).

Jesus said to His disciples, Ye are the salt of the earth Ye are the light of the world(Matthew 5:13

14). Paul also instructed us, As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men,

especially unto them who are of the household of faith(Galatians 6:10).

Those who are married with the blessing of God and their parents are heirs together of the grace of

life(I Peter 3:7)and can raise up sons and daughters who are mighty in Gods Spirit.

Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. His seed

shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed(Psalm 112:12).


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Conclusion

The actual pattern of a courtship relationship will vary from one couple to another, because no two

couples or situations are the same. However, any courtship would benefit by incorporating the

principles listed above.

One of the valuable rewards of courtship is the protection of emotions that are stirred up by physical

and emotional interaction, until the time when it is clearly Gods will to proceed into marriage.

If, during the time of courtship, one party realizes that this is not Gods will and ends the

relationship, it can still be regarded as a successful courtship, because God directed and the

individuals were not damaged.

http://billgothard.com/teaching/courtship/

Filipino Courtship Customs- How to court a Filipina

When it comes to courting in Filipino culture, you have to be more indirectthan in Western societies. Filipino courtship usually last for a long period of

time. An engagement, for example, often lasts for several years and as far

as marriage is concerned, it is viewed as a lifetime commitment. Howeverdue to the profileration of online dating services, many lovers skip courting

altogether as in cases of love at first sight or arranged marriage.

First Stage: Friendly Start

Usually the beginning of a relationship starts with a casual date. The couplewill go out together in public places and will be accompanied by mutual

friends. During this stage of courting there will be no public displays ofaffection, the man has to be discreet and friendly or he will be slapped with

a tag of being too stuck up or aloof. At this point of time, it is too early for

physical contact such as kissing or holding hands.

Second Stage: Tactful Dating

That is the second stage of Filipino courtship whereby the courting couplewould go out together without the company of their friends. Again, the main

point is being discreet.
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Filipino women do not like the courtship process to be fast. Filipino girls are

expected to play hard to get because their culture deemed it as anappropriate behavior when they are being courted. A Filipino girl would

never reveal her admiration for the man immediately.

Playing hard to get is one of the way which Filipino women measure thesincerity of her courting partner. This will also demostrate to the man that

he has to work hard to win her love. Some courtships may last for yearsbefore the woman accepts her admirers love and they become

'magkasintahan', a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.

Third Stage: Making the Relationship Public

After some time the couple may decide to make their romance known to

their family and friends. Every man who wants to be taken seriously by aFilipino girl is advised to visit her family and introduce himself formally to

her parents. It would be inappropriate to court a Filipino girl and formalizethe relationship without informing the girls parents.

There is a unspoken rule here that says: When courting a Filipino girl, youare not just courting her but you are courting the entire family as well .

Following this rule will help you earn her respect by entrusting her familywith high regard.

There are certain traditions that have to be observed when visiting the

Filipino girl's family. For example, if the man wants to be accepted by the

girls family, he has to give out small presents every time he visits herfamily's house. You can always ask any questions regarding which traditions

you should observe with her older siblings in the family.

Final Stage: Engagement and Marriage

After spending a period of time with your Filipino girl and if you decided to

get married, the first thing you should do is ask the girls parents for herhand. You can find out more in 'Filipino Wedding Customs'.

When courting a Filipino woman you will find out that she is demure and

reserved even when she has great feelings for you. This is a part of herculture and even for a Western man there is no way around that. You should

treat your Filipino girl with respect and woo her with your heart. You wouldbe surprised that your life will be more enriching and fulfilled as you have

never imagined.

http://www.asiandatingzone.com/filipino-courtship.htm
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Courtship in the PhilippinesFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Traditional courtship in the Philippines is described as a "far more subdued and indirect"[1]

approach

compared toWesternorWesternizedcultures. It involves "phases" or "stages" inherent toPhilippine

societyandculture.[1][2]

Evident incourtshipin thePhilippinesis the practice of singing romantic love songs,

reciting poems, writing letters, and gift-giving.[3]

This respect extends to the Filipino womans family members.

The proper rules and standards in traditional Filipino courtship are set by Philippine society.[4]

Contents

[hide]

1 General overview

2 Other courtship practices

o 2.1 Tagalog and Ilocos regions

o 2.2 Pangasinan region

o 2.3 Apayao region

o 2.4 Palawan region

o 2.5 Visayas region

o 2.6 Mindanao region

3 19th-century Hispanic Philippines

4 Modern-day influences

5 See also

6 References

7 External links

[edit]General overview

Often, aFilipino malesuitor expresses his interest to a woman in a discreet and friendly manner in order to

avoid being perceived as very "presumptuous or aggressive" or arrogant.[2]

Culturally, another gentlemanly way

of seeking the attention of a woman is not to be done by the admirer by approaching her in the street to

casually ask for her address or telephone number.[4]

Although having a series of friendlydatesis the normal

starting point in theFilipino wayof courting, this may also begin through the process of "teasing", a process of

"pairing off" a potential teenage or adult couple. The teasingis done by peers or friends of the couple being

matched. The teasing practice assists in discerning the actual feelings of the male and the female involved.

Traditionally, aFilipino womanis "shy and secretive" about her feelings for a suitor. On the other hand,

theFilipinoman fears rejection by a woman and would like to avoid losing face and embarrassment. This
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lipino_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_womanhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_wayhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datinghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-3http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-CPC-1http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_malehttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=1http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#External_linkshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Referenceshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#See_alsohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Modern-day_influenceshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#19th-century_Hispanic_Philippineshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Mindanao_regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Visayas_regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Palawan_regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Apayao_regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Pangasinan_regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Tagalog_and_Ilocos_regionshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#Other_courtship_practiceshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#General_overviewhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippineshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-3http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippineshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtshiphttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-0http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-0http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_culturehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_societyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_societyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_worldhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_culturehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-ADZ-0


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teasing phase actually helps in circumventing such an embarrassing predicament because formal courtship

has not yet officially started. Furthermore, this "testing phase" also helps a man who could be " torpe", aFilipino

termfor a suitor who is shy, "stupid", and feels cowardly, and is innocent and nave in how to court a woman.

However, this type of admirer could overcome his shyness and naivety by asking for the help of a "human

bridge", typically a mutual friend of both the suitor and the admired, or a close friend of both families.[2][4]The

"human bridge" acts as the suitor's communicator.[2]

Through this "human-bridge", the bachelor can also ask

permission to visit the woman at home from the bachelorette's father. As a norm, the couple will not be left

alone with each other during this first home visit, because formal introductions to family members are done,

which may be performed by the "human bridge". Informal conversation also takes place.[4]

During this preliminary evaluation period, the Filipino woman will either deny her feelings (or the absence of

feelings for the suitor) and avoids her admirer, or does notbecome angry because of the teasing and

encourages the suitor instead. The suitor stops the courtship if he is quite sure that the woman does not

reciprocate. But once the female encourages the suitor to continue, the "teasing stage" comes to a close and a

"serious stage" of Philippine courtship begins. It is within this stage where the couple engages in a series of

group dates,chaperoned dates,[4]or private dates.[1]The couple later on decides to come out into the open and

reveals the status of their relationship to family members, relatives, and friends. The serious suitor

orboyfriendvisits the family of the woman he admires/courts orgirlfriendin order to formally introduce himself,

particularly to the lady's parents. Bringing gifts orpasalubong[4]

(which may include flowers, with cards, or

letters, and the like) is also typical. Courting a woman in the Philippines is described as a courtship that also

includes courting the woman's family.[5][6]

The actual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship may also result from such

formal visits. In the past, particularly in a rural courtship setting, a Filipino man, accompanied by friends, would

engage inserenadingthe woman he adores at night. This serenading practice was an influence adopted by the

Filipinos from theSpaniards.[2]

During the courtship process, a traditional Filipina is expected to play "hard to get", to act as if not interested, to

be notflirty, and show utmost restraint, modesty, shyness, good upbringing, be well-mannered, demure, and

reserved despite having great feelings for her admirer;[1][4]

a behavior culturally considered appropriate while

being courted. This behavior serves as a tool in measuring the admirer's sincerity and seriousness. In addition

to the woman's culturally appropriate behavior, she is not supposed to have dates with several admirers

simultaneously. Dating couples are expected to be conservative and not perform public displays of affection for

each other. Traditionally, some courtship may last a number of years before the Filipino woman accepts her

suitor as a boyfriend.[1][2][3]

Conservativeness, together with repressing emotions and affection, was inherited by

the Filipino woman from the colonial period under the Spaniards, a characteristic referred to as the Maria

Clara attitude.[3]

After the girlfriend-boyfriend stage, engagement, and marriage follows. With regards to the engagement and

pre-marriage stages, Filipino tradition dictates that the man and his parents perform
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thepamamanhikan[4]

orpamanhikan[6]

(literally, aTagalog wordthat means "to go up the stairs of the house" of

the girlfriend and her parents;pamamanhikan is known as tampa ordanon to theIlocanos, aspasagulito

thePalaweos, and as kapamalaito theMaranaos[6]

). This is where and when the man and his parent's

formally ask the lady's hand[4]

and blessings from her parents in order tomarry. This is when the formal

introduction of the man's parents and woman's parents happens. Apart from presents, the Cebuano version of

thepamamanhikan includes bringing in musicians.[6]

After setting the date of the wedding and the dowry,[4]

the

couple is considered officially engaged.[2]

The dowry, as a norm in the Philippines, is provided by the grooms

family.[4]For the Filipino people, marriage is a union of two families, not just of two persons. Therefore,

marrying well "enhances the good name" of both families.[3]

[edit]Other courtship practices

[edit]Tagalog and Ilocos regions

A Tagalog couple as depicted in theBoxer Codexof the 16th century.
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A depiction of amestizocouple from theTagalog regionduring the 19th century.

Apart from the general background explained above, there are other similar and unique courting practices

adhered to by Filipinos in other different regions of the Philippine archipelago. In the island ofLuzon,

theIlocanosalso perform serenading, known to them as tapat[6]

(literally, "to be in front of" the home of the

courted woman), which is similar to the harana[4]

and also to thebalagtasanof theTagalogs. The suitor begins

singing a romantic song, then the courted lady responds by singing too.[3]

Rooster courtship is also another form of courting in Luzon. In this type of courtship, the rooster is assigned

that task of being a "middleman", a "negotiator", or a "go-between", wherein the male chicken is left to stay in

the home of the courted to crow every single morning for the admired lady's family.[3]

In the province ofBulacaninCentral Luzon, theBulaqueoshave a kind of courtship known as

the naninilong(from the Tagalog word silongor "basement"). At midnight, the suitor goes beneath thenipa hut,

a house that is elevated bybamboopoles, thenpricklesthe admired woman by using a pointed object. Once

the prickling caught the attention of the sleeping lady, the couple would be conversing in whispers.[3]

The Ifugao of northern Luzon practices a courtship called ca-i-sing(this practice is known as theebgan to

theKalingatribes and aspangis to the Tingguian tribes), wherein males and females are separated into

"houses". The house for the Filipino males is called the Ato, while the house for Filipino females is known as

the ologoragamang. The males visit the females in the olog the "bethrotal house" to sing romantic songs.

The females reply to these songs also through singing. The ongoing courtship ritual is overseen by a married

elder or a childless widow who keeps the parents of the participating males and females well informed of the

progress of the courtship process.[6]

After the courtship process, theBatangueosofBatangashas a peculiar tradition performed on the eve of the

wedding. A procession, composed of the grooms mother, father,

relatives,godfathers, godmothers,bridesmaids, andgroomsmen, occurs. Their purpose is to bring the cooking

ingredients for the celebration to the brides home, where refreshments await them.[6]

[edit]Pangasinan region

InPangasinan, thePangasinensesutilizes the taga-amo, which literally means "tamer", a form of love potions

or charms which can be rubbed to the skin of the admired. It can also be in the form of drinkable potions. The

suitor may also resort to the use ofpalabas, meaningshowordrama, wherein the Filipino woman succumbs to

revealing her love to her suitor, who at one time will pretend or act as if he will be committingsuicideif the lady

does not divulge her true feelings.[3]

[edit]Apayao region
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TheApayaosallow the practice of sleeping together during the night. This is known as liberal courtship

ormahal-alayin the vernacular. This form of courting assists in assessing the womans feeling for her lover.[3]

[edit]Palawan region

InPalawan, the Palaweos orPalawanonsperform courtship through the use of loveriddles. This is known asthepasaguli. The purpose of the love riddles is to assess the sentiments of the parents of both suitor and

admirer. After this "riddle courtship", the discussion proceeds to thepabalic(can also be spelled aspabalik), to

settle the price or form of thedowrythat will be received by the courted woman from the courting man.[3]

[edit]Visayas region

When courting, theCebuanosalso resort to serenading, which is known locally as balak. They also write love

letters that are sent via a trusted friend or a relative of the courted woman. Presents are not only given to the

woman being courted, but also to her relatives. Similar to the practice in the Pangasinan region, as mentioned

above, the Cebuanos also use love potions to win the affection of the Filipino woman.[3]

People fromLeyteperforms thepangagad[6]

orpaninilbihan or "servitude",[4]

instead of paying a form of

dowry[6]

during the courtship period. In this form of courting, the Filipino suitor accomplishes household and

farm chores for the family of the Filipino woman. The service normally lasts for approximately a year before the

man and woman can get married.[3]

The Tagalogs of Luzon also refers to this courtship custom

aspaninilbihan meaning "being of service", but is also referred to as subokmeaning a trial or test period for the

serving suitor. TheBicolanosof Luzon'sBicolregion, call this custom as thepamianan.[6]

[edit]Mindanao region
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apayaohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apayaohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apayaohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=6http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=6http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=6http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanonhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanonhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanonhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddlehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddlehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddlehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=7http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=7http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=7http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cebuano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cebuano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cebuano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leytehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leytehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leytehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-3http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-3http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-3http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicolano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicolano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicolano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicol_Regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicol_Regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicol_Regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=8http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=8http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=8http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Yakan.jpghttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=8http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicol_Regionhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicolano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-WA-3http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-LIP-5http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leytehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cebuano_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=7http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddlehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanonhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palawanhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Courtship_in_the_Philippines&action=edit&section=6http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines#cite_note-SG-2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apayao


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AYakancouple from Mindanao performing a wedding dance.

Reckless courtship, known in the vernacular aspalabas, sarakahan tupul, ormagpasumbahi, is practiced by

theTausogpeople of Mindanao. Similar to thepalabasversion practiced in Luzon island, a suitor would

threaten to stab his heart while in front of the courted womans father. If the father of the woman refuses to give

her daughters hand to the suitor, the suitor is smitten by a knife.[3]

The Bagobos, on the other hand, sends a knife or a spear as a gift to the home of the courted woman for

inspection. Accepting the weapon is equivalent to accepting the Filipino mans romantic intention and

advances.[3]

Pre-arranged marriagesandbetrothalsare common to FilipinoMuslims. These formal engagements are

arranged by the parents of men and the women. This also involves discussions regarding the price and the

form of the dowry.[3]

The Tausog people proclaims that a wedding, a celebration or announcement known as

thepangalay, will occur by playing percussive musical instruments such as the gabbang, thekulintang, and

theagong. The wedding is officiated by anImam. Readings from theQuranis a part of the ceremony, as well

as the placement of the groom'sfingerprintover the bride'sforehead.[6]

[edit]19th-century Hispanic Philippines

During the 19th century inSpanish Philippines, there was a set ofbody languageexpressed by courted women

to communicate with their suitors. These are non-verbal cues whichAmbeth Ocamporeferred to as

"fanlanguage". These are called as such because the woman conveys her messages through silentmovements that involve a hand-held fan. Examples of such speechless communication are as follows: a

courted woman covering half of her face would like her suitor to follow her; counting the ribs of the folding fan

sends out a message that the lady would like to have a conversation with her admirer; holding the fan using the

right hand would mean the woman is willing to have a boyfriend, while carrying the fan with the left hand

signifies that she already has a lover and thus no longer available; fanning vigorously symbolizes that the lady

has deep feelings for a gentleman, while fanning slowly tells that the woman courted does not have any

feelings for the suitor; putting the fan aside signals that the lady does not want to be wooed by the man; and

the abrupt closing of a fan means the woman dislikes the man.[7]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines
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Courtship (Traditional) Phil.

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