Confirmation

MENTORS GUIDE

Walk with the wise and you become wise,

but the companion of fools fares badly. Proverbs 13:20

Dear Confirmation Mentor,

Welcome to the Confirmation Preparation Ministry. You may be excited and/or nervous to take on the role of mentoring young minds as they commit themselves to living out their Catholic faith! Our goal for this preparation is to equip teens with essential lifelong spiritual HABITS that will help them deepen their faith and grow into a loving, active disciple of Jesus Christ.

Hang-time with God (Prayer)Accountability (Visioning and meeting with your Mentor)Bible (Scripture)Involvement as a disciple (post-Confirmation)Tithing (Stewardship)Sacraments

Over the next season, you as Confirmation Mentor will be challenged, questioned and asked to guide these teens along the path that God has laid out for them. We pray that you may be filled with the Holy Spirit who will energize, encourage and enhance not only the teen’s faith but yours, as well!

Remember: you have been called and chosen to guide these teens they are all starting from different places they will travel at different speeds and discover new things It’s not about how far you get but where you are headed and

what you gather along the way

God’s peace on this journey, and may He bless you for your service to our young Church!

In Christ,

Alexa Sifuentes

Using this Guide

Preparing:The following guide is divided into 6 sections which serve as the basis of your 6-7 meetings to have with each candidate. The only sections that should be done in the order you find them in this packet are the Introduction and Visioning. After that, if you want to continue with “Stewardship” or end with “Involvement” that is fine; you set the path that you feel is best for each candidate.The “habits” you will cover with the students are certainly not the only spiritual habits out there, but we feel that these six work well to set the foundation for our relationship with God. Take time to review each “habit” before meeting with the student, and think about it in your own life. The more personal experience you can share with the candidate, the better they will understand.

Your Season:You will meet with the candidates 6-7 times over the span of 8 months; however, use your best judgment in scheduling, i.e. if you elect to schedule all your meetings at the beginning (or end) it does not give them much time for growth. Your job is to prepare them so that when they apply these spiritual habits beyond Confirmation, they’ll have a solid foundation. The One-on-Ones:This Mentor Guide is divided up into meeting outlines. The first meeting (“Introduction”) occurs at “Meet Your Mentor Night” and is an orientation between you, the teen and his/her parent. The second meeting is “Visioning” and helps the teen to take hold of their personal and spiritual life path. The remaining five meetings will review and explain the resources and purpose of each “habit.” Each meeting should run about an hour, if it runs longer- great; if there is silence- that’s okay too, but no matter how it goes, use the time to build trust.

A sample of a meeting could look like this:0-10 min: Opening prayer and casual conversation (Checking In)10-40 min: Explain and tackle the Activity40-50 min: Discuss any questions that may have come up50-60 min: Plan for next time

Again, use this time to build trust! We want them to leave knowing and feeling that true, deep relationships involve prayer, sharing life, and most importantly, God.

If a candidate comes with questions on other faith issues, or wants to review a past “habit,” feel free to go that direction instead. We aren’t teaching – we are mentoring, we aren’t lecturing – we are discipling. Our goal is to orient them on this journey, help them become comfortable with their faith, and challenge them to continually grow.

Introduction: Getting To Know Your Candidate

Who are you serving?(Leader’s Guide)

You have received a packet that includes the application and essay that your teen has submitted. Please take the time to read the essay and ask yourself the following questions:

- Does this teen identify any faith struggles?- Has this teen identified his/her passions?- What expectations, if any, does this teen have about his/her faith? - What seems to be the driving force for this teen’s desire to receive the

sacrament of Confirmation?

After reading the essay and reviewing their application, you’ll want to think about the first encounter with your teen. Think about the questions you are going to ask, the things you are going to share and how to address goals with this teen.

Face to Face

Your first meeting with your candidate will be at the “Meet Your Mentor Night” which St. Alphonsus church will host in the fall (9/9/13). If for some reason you or your teen cannot be present at this event, we ask that you set up a time where you can meet with your candidate and at least one of their parents. (Be sure to touch base with them as soon as possible; they will be expecting to hear from you.)

No matter when your first encounter takes place, make sure you pick a place that is comfortable and convenient. It could be a coffee house, a diner, a park or even the church. The only place we ask that you not meet is in your own home. And, if you choose to meet in the student’s home, make sure at least one parent is present.

At “Meet Your Mentor Night” we will have activities that will help you set goals and a plan for you and your candidate. However, if you are doing this first meeting on your own, make sure you discuss the following items:

Preparation for Confirmation will take 8 months. Requirements for Confirmation according to the Diocese are:

o To engage in the curriculum provided by the Confirmation Mentor

o To attend ongoing Religious Education, either provided by the parish (Antioch), via Catholic school, or via a home-school religious education (with a specific curriculum)

o To attend a Confirmation (or otherwise specified) retreat provided by St. Alphonsus church, (scheduled for March 14-16, 2014)

- Scheduling of the 6 meetings over the next 8 months (To schedule all 6 meetings over such a large span of time is difficult, that is why we recommend you schedule at least 3 of them now, and the other 3 later. Try to always have one meeting scheduled before the end of your next meeting)

- This is not homework, this is not a test, this is a preparation and each teen will move at a pace that works best for the teen, and at the same time, challenges them to dive deeper into their faith life.

This first meeting at “Meet Your Mentor Night” is purely social. Granted, we will discuss the process, but do not feel the need to go deep right away; in fact, that may be too much. Take the time to get to know the parent and teen. Share a little of your story, and get to know theirs. Don’t be intimidated if the teen is nervous, apathetic or quiet. It can take time to develop an open relationship. Use this opportunity to talk about why they want to be confirmed, things you thought were interesting from their essay, etc.

When meeting with the candidate this is the time to spot any red flags (i.e. “My parents are forcing me against my will to do this.” “I hate God, I believe in Satan, I don’t give a %&$* about church”) If any red flags come up please finish the meeting and talk this over with Director of Youth Ministry (Alexa or Paul). Students are not always ready to prepare for Confirmation.

After the initial “get to know you” meeting, the next meeting will begin Step 1 of the curriculum. The reason we do not want to reveal the entire curriculum at once is so that we don’t overwhelm the youth. Explaining the material at each encounter essentially breaks down the curriculum, which allows the teen to view his/her faith in a manageable format and practical manner.

Next Time:Make appointment for first Habit.

Habit 1: Setting A Vision: You can’t go anywhere on your faith journey

if there is no destination(Leader’s Guide)

What to Do:- Start out with prayer

- Share with each other what’s gone on since last time you’ve talked.

- Explain and Tackle– “Crafting Your Vision” exercise.

- Come Up With An Action Plan To Review Their Vision and Values Statement.

- Close in prayer

Crafting Your VisionStart Off By:Asking the candidate who he/she wants to be in 5, 10 & 15 years. (Make sure it’s who they want to be and not what they want to do.)

Next Read:Psalm 139: 1-18

1 LORD, you have searched me, you know me:

2 you know when I sit and stand; you understand my thoughts from afar.

3 You sift through my travels and my rest;with all my ways you are familiar.

4 Even before a word is on my tongue,LORD, you know it all.

5 Behind and before you encircle meand rest your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,far too lofty for me to reach.

7 Where can I go from your spirit?From your presence, where can I flee?

8 If I ascend to the heavens, you are there;if I lie down in Sheol, there you are.

9 If I take the wings of dawnand dwell beyond the sea,

10 Even there your hand guides me,your right hand holds me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely darkness shall hide me,and night shall be my light”—

12 Darkness is not dark for you,and night shines as the day.Darkness and light are but one.

13 You formed my inmost being;you knit me in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works!My very self you know.

15 My bones are not hidden from you,

When I was being made in secret,fashioned in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw me unformed;in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be.

17 How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sands; when I complete them, still you are with me.

Ask The Candidate:1. How does it feel to know that God knows you better than

yourself?2. How does it feel that God has a vision and a plan for your life?

Explain:Because God has a plan for our lives, the first thing we need to figure out is where He wants to take us. This is where a vision statement is so important to our lives. Starting today and throughout this process we are going to craft a vision for your life. To help you craft your vision we want to look at the values you have, and how Scripture affirms them.

Give Them 10 Minutes To Write One Out:

Make sure that their vision statement is: Clear - It should be something so that when another person

hears it they know what it is saying. Memorable - A vision statement forgotten is pointless so

make sure it's something they can easily memorize. Emotional - It just can't be, "I want to be great." the vision

should be personal.  Something that they are proud and passionate about achieving.  

The goal isn’t to complete the exercise in your time together, so after some discussion, move on to the values.

Have them write out 5-10 values, with no explanation. After they’ve done that, look at structuring them in the following way:

Use "I AM" Statements - An "I AM" statement will give you the confidence to not only say it but believe it.

Match It To God - Back it up with scripture so that when you struggle with the value you can go back to God's word. (Tip: Use this as motivation for when you cover the Bible Study habit)

Now that you’ve had them write out theirs, feel free to share yours with them. Give them a copy and encourage them to use it as a guide. Make sure you revisit this each time you meet with them.

Habit 2: Quiet Time With God: Prayer on a personal level

(Leader’s Guide)

What to Do:- Start out with prayer

- Review Vision and Values Statement

- Tackle and Explain – “Can You Hear Me Now?” exercise.

- Talk about the “holes” that might exist in this habit.

- Plan an action step (tangible and intangible)o Before Next Timeo Take Home Materials

- Close in prayer

Can You Hear Me Now? Exercise:Our question is: How does God speak to us? Each of the following passage shares a different way that one person in the bible communicated with God. The purpose of this exercise is to help the student realize that communicating with God can happen in different ways. Give the candidate 10 minutes to read the passage and then spend the next 15-20 minutes discussing the questions.

Prep Work:Before you meet with the candidate try this exercise on your own. Each passage has a different story and one might relate more to you than another. Feel free to fill out the handout yourself so that you can share your notes with the candidate during the discussion.

Passages:Exodus 18:5-26Background: The Israelites had miraculously crossed the Red Sea, escaping from slavery in Egypt. Now it was time to become their own nation. Jethro was Moses’ father-in-law, some sort of chieftain of a nomadic tribe in the Sinai. Here he gives some practical advice.

Moses got guidance from his father-in law. This might have been confusing, because it’s not clear from the text that God was speaking through Jethro, but the advice is good, and Moses took it. You can’t do it all yourself! Moses himself was sort of in the place of God, judging the people’s disputes, and he needed to find other leaders to share the load.

Note: God uses other wise Christians to speak to us, especially parents and other older folks who know us (as Jethro knew Moses). When you’re not sure what God wants, talk to people like that. (ex. homilies at Mass, counsel during Confession, or the message at Antioch.)

Judges 6:12-24, 36-40Background: “Judges” were leaders God appointed to save his people from foreign oppressors. Here we find Gideon being called into service to lead Israel against the Midianites, but he seems rather reluctant.

Gideon felt ill-equipped for the task at hand. He had excuses, but he was willing to do this, if God really wanted it. So he put God to several tests. He basically dared God to work some mini-miracles to prove himself. We’re not told that this was a good thing to do, but God indulged him.

Note: God works with us. When we have doubts, he deals with them. When all else fails, you can ask God to confirm something you think he might be saying. If you are honestly seeking him with all your heart, he will get the message through. (ex. When we tithe we put God’s blessing to the test. Tithing is an example of an action step to trust God with our finances.)

1 Samuel 3Background: Samuel was a boy who was given by his mother to serve in the Tabernacle with Eli the priest. The nation was not in good shape, due to poor leadership by Eli and his sons. Here God gives a message to young Samuel, who isn’t sure what he’s hearing.

Samuel heard God’s voice, but he thought it was Eli the priest calling him. After being rudely awakened a few times, Eli instructs young Samuel about listening to God. Simply it’s about being ready to listen. God gives Samuel a message of judgment: doom for Eli and his family. It was the beginning of a long career for Samuel as a prophet and leader of God’s people.

Note: Many of us grow up hearing God’s messages from our parents. But the time comes when God starts dealing directly with us. (ex. We can hear God’s message to us through Scripture reading, devotionals, Christian music, etc.)

1 Kings 19Background: Elijah had just had a mountaintop experience (literally). He had challenged the false prophets of Baal to a sacrificing match – and Elijah had won, successfully calling fire from heaven. But wicked Queen Jezebel still wanted to kill him, and that was depressing.

Elijah had called fire from heaven, but God hadn’t changed the nation. Moping in a desert cave, he witnesses huge displays of God’s power, but he learns that God “is not in” those displays. It’s the gentle whisper that gives this prophet his next assignments.

Note: We get charmed by big displays of religious power – youth retreats, powerful preaching, awesome occurrences – but we need to listen for God’s gentle whisper. (ex. Quiet time through journaling, finding a quiet spot, trekking out in nature.)

Acts 10:1-23Background: Peter was a leader of the Church, which was growing, but only among Jews. By law, Jews were forbidden to eat with or stay with Gentiles (non-Jews), just as they were not allowed to eat certain foods. But on this occasion, God challenges Peter’s assumptions.

Peter wanted to do the right thing, and it seemed that God was telling him to do the wrong thing. Eat unclean food? Never! But God was doing something new in the world: welcoming Gentiles into relationship with him. Peter’s obedience would change the world.

Note: Sometimes God leads us “outside the box.” Be careful about this, because rule breaking is generally not a good idea, but every so often he will challenge us to take a bold new step that everyone else thinks is crazy. (ex. If you play an instrument, a sport, or have an ability, there are different ways

to live out your faith. It can be a ministry, i.e. how you conduct yourself on the field, a piece of canvas or stage.)

Can You Hear Me Now?Read the assigned passage and answer the questions. If you finish one passage, start another; in fact you can do all 5.

Passages:Exodus 18:5-26 Judges 6:12-25, 36-40 1 Samuel 31 Kings 19 Acts 10:1-23

Assigned Passage:

Who was God speaking to?

How did God “speak”?

Was the person sure it was God speaking?

Why or why not?

What was the gist of God’s message?

How did the person ultimately respond?

Filling the Holes: Why do you think having a relationship with God is so important? What are some of the struggles you have when it comes to talking with

God? God has many names (i.e. father, comforter, provider), what is a name

or word that best describes God for you? What are your expectations in a relationship with God?

Before Next Time:As you close up your meeting remind them to continue to review their visions and value statement. As a follow up you’ll also want to encourage them to try this exercise at home with their family. To make it easy, assign them a verse and talk to their parents about making it a dinnertime activity.

If you have other prayer aides (i.e. devotionals or prayer books) share it with them. You do not have to use the Can You Hear Me Now exercise. As you know this is one of many ways that we can communicate with God. Another place to send them is to www.usccb.org/bible/reflections which is the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops webpage with daily video reflections.

Habit 3: It’s More Than A BookGoing deeper with Scripture

(Leader’s Guide)

What to Do:- Start out with prayer

- Revisit their Vision and Values

- Tackle and Explain – Lectio Divina

- Talk about the “holes” that might exist in this habit.

- Plan an action step (tangible and intangible)o Before Next Timeo Take Home Materials

- Close in prayer

Lectio Divina ExerciseOur question is: How does something thousands of years old help me in my day-to-day life? Lectio Divina is Latin for divine reading, spiritual reading, or "holy reading," and is a traditional Christian practice of prayer and scripture reading intended to promote communion with God and to increase our openness to God's Word. It is a way of praying with Scripture that calls us to study, ponder, listen and, finally, pray and even sing and rejoice from God's Word, within our souls.

Overview:Step 1: Choose a text from the Scriptures (below or your own) that you wish to pray with the candidate. When choosing scripture, length of text can depend on what God is calling you to do – it can be a verse or an entire chapter. With the candidates it is probably best to do something brief.

Step 2: Place yourself in a comfortable position and allow yourself to become silent. Some Christians focus for a few moments on their breathing; others have a beloved "prayer word" or "prayer phrase" they gently recite. That practice is known as "centering prayer" or Meditatio which makes for a good, brief introduction to lectio divina. Use whatever method is best for you, and allow yourself to enjoy silence for a few moments.

Step 3: Turn to the text and read it slowly, peacefully. Encourage the candidate to take in each portion of the reading, constantly listening for the "still, small voice" of one word or phrase that somehow says, "I am for you today." Let them know that the phrase or word may not jump out at them, but reveal itself slowly. Have them choose that word or phrase, repeat it, and share it (without elaboration). Do the same with the word you have taken from the passage.

Step 4: Read the text again; however, this time ask the candidate to place him/herself in the Bible scene or in a situation where they are speaking to God. Spend some time discussing the scene or situation they envisioned while rereading the passage.

Step 5: Read the text for a third time and ask the candidate to contemplate what God is inviting them to do. What do they think is being communicated, what is God trying to tell them, what is revealing itself through scripture. If you and the candidate wish to reread the text again, feel free, there are unlimited amounts of time one can reflect on a passage. Suggested Readings:Psalm 23 Matthew 7:13-14 Mark 4:35-41 Luke 22:39-44 John 15:1-17 Philippians 2:1-13

Filling the Holes:Reflect on these five points and share some of your own examples…

1. To understand God’s CHARACTER[Jesus speaking] The Father and I are one." I and the Father are one . . . If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. John 10:30

2. To know God’s WAYSYour word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

3. To hear God’s VOICEAll scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that one who belongs to God may be competent, equipped for every good work.2 Timothy 3:16-17

4. To deepen your FAITHWe are confident of you in the Lord that what we instruct you, you (both) are doing and will continue to do. May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the endurance of Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3:4-5

5. To change your LIFEIndeed, the word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

What is one thing you know about Jesus that could help explain what you need to know about God?

What is an area in your life where you need God’s wisdom? What is one part of your faith that you are most passionate about? How do you think scripture could be used to change your life?

Inform the candidates in order for them to understand God’s Character, Ways, Voice, to deepen their faith and change their lives they need to…

1. Go deeper STUDY 2. Do what it says OBEY 3. Gather some verses to MEMORIZE4. Commit to a plan to develop a HABIT of reading Scripture

Before Next Time:As you close up your meeting you’ll want to plan an action step for your student and their family to take. Again you can use the Lection Divina exercise as a dinnertime activity for the family. Don’t be afraid to ask parents and the candidate how the “Can You Hear Me Now” exercise went. If they enjoyed it, encourage them to keep going. For personal scripture studies your candidate can do the following:

YouVersion Bible App ( available on mobile devices or via email)

In the YouVersion Bible App (It’s free) they can sign up for a plan that will help them navigate through the Bible. If you have this app, feel free to pick one together so that you can use it as a discussion topic during subsequent meetings. If you really feel comfortable, encourage their family to follow the same plan.

Scripture Study Guides – Typically at the beginning of each book in the Bible, there is a brief description of the author and why it was written. Some Bibles are even “Study Bibles” with thoughts and questions written in the margins. Scripture study guides go further by breaking down parts of the Bible into reflection questions and devotionals. This gives the candidate the opportunity to dive deeper into something they may just skim. Feel free to share one of your favorite Scripture devotionals, or the St. Alphonsus Youth Ministry Office has some Scripture guides appropriate for teenagers.

Sample of Study Scripture Guide:Lesson 1: 1 john 1:1-10

Questions for 1 John 1:1-41. There seems to be some doubt (among John’s original readers) that Jesus lived in the flesh. Make a list below of all the words and phrases that John uses to describe his experience with Jesus (for example, “we have heard,” and “we have seen,” etc.).

2. Do you think first-hand knowledge is important for someone to believe in Jesus? Why or why not?

3. Jesus was always surrounded by doubt. People seemed to want to see miracles to prove that He was who He said He was. Even Thomas, one of Jesus’ closest followers, doubted his authenticity (John 20:19-31).

• Do you or someone you know have doubts about Jesus?

Habit 4: Invested In His GraceThe Sacraments(Leader’s Guide)

What to Do:- Start out with prayer

- Share with each other what’s gone on since last time you’ve talked.

- Tackle and Explain –

- Talk about the “holes” that might exist in this habit.

- Plan an action step (tangible and intangible)o Take Home Materialso Before Next Time

- Close in prayer

Because there is so much richness to the sacraments of the Church it would take years for the candidates to gain full appreciation, so we just want to give them a taste. We encourage them to go deeper by taking a look at why we do what we do and how it will take them to the next level.

Read the following passage and discuss the following points with the questions below.

“The church throughout all Judea, Galilee, and Samaria was at peace. It was being built up and walked in the fear of the Lord, and with the consolation of the Holy Spirit it grew in numbers.” Acts 9:31

Recap of this whole HABITS curriculum: Your relationship with God is meant TO GROW Spiritual growth is a life-long JOURNEY Developing spiritual habits will help you grow ON YOUR OWN Accountability adds INSIGHT, TRUTH, HOPE and FAITH. Bible Study helps us Know God’s ways, Deepen our faith

and Change our Lives. Involving yourself is a Commitment to finding Your Role in

Christ’ Church enabling growth and His message to spread. Tithing is showing God that He empowers me and is more

important to me than money and possessions.

- What does it mean to you to be a church member?- What do you think the role of the church should be in other people’s

lives?- How do you believe the church should grow? - In what ways do you think people are turned off by the church? And do

you feel this is a reflection of you? Explain.

1. The sacraments of Christian initiation – Baptism, Confirmation, and the Eucharist – lay the foundations of every Christian life. CCC #1212

- “The faithful are born anew by Baptism, strengthened by the sacrament of Confirmation, and receive in the Eucharist the food of eternal life…they thus receive in increasing measure the treasures of the divine life and advance toward the perfection of charity.” Pope Paul VI

2. Jesus Christ, physician of souls and bodies, has willed that his Church continue, in the power of the Holy Spirit, his work of healing and salvation through the sacraments of Reconciliation and Anointing of the Sick even among her own members. CCC #1421

- Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive people’s sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven. John 20:22-23

3. The Sacraments of Holy Orders and Matrimony are directed towards the salvation of others...and serve to build up the People of God. CCC #1534

- God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth.” Genesis 1:28

- Every high priest is taken from among men and made their representative before God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. Hebrews 5:1

Materials:Resources

o Next Step Journal

Description of materials:Next Step Journal – By this time the candidate should feel very comfortable with the idea of a bible study/devotional. The Next Step journal follows the same format; however, it involves a little further research. Each journal is broken up into three sections (Sacraments of Christian Initiation, Sacraments of Healing and Sacraments of Service).

Section 1 is similar to the Bible studies we have done, in this section we ask that they complete all three sacrament (Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist) Bible studies.

Section 2 is a reflection/devotional and we ask that they complete both sacrament (Reconciliation and Anointing of the Sick) devotionals as well as attempt the activity at the end.

Section 3 we ask that they attempt at least one of the two sacramental (Marriage and Holy Orders) devotionals activities. This is where they may need your assistance. We ask that they either set-up a time to discuss the sacrament with our “Pre-Cana Ministry” or they take the online discernment test for vocations online. Both are very simple and would not take much time but will help them to think seriously about both sacraments.

Tid-Bits:The Sacrament of Confession – We ask that you encourage the teens to participate in this sacrament before Confirmation (Saturdays 8am and 4:30pm). In their Next Step journal are steps for Reconciliation. If they are nervous about doing it on their own, you might offer to go with them.

The Sacrament of Marriage – For this sacrament, we just want them to have a conversation with those who prepare engaged couples for marriage. While you and your spouse or the student’s parents may have years of experience, we ask that you encourage them to ask an outside source. To set this up please contact me (Alexa) and I will provide a list of couples.

The Sacrament of Holy Orders – If one of your teens is very serious about a religious vocation, by all means notify me and/or Fr. O’Keeffe; this way you can encourage them to have a conversation with their parents and make sure that they are connected with the proper people at the Diocese. However, most of the candidates have probably never thought seriously about a religious vocation. www.vocationnetwork.org/match is an online inventory that they can take. It takes about 20 minutes to complete, and it helps match various options for a discerner. The purpose of having the student take this test is to help them think in the manner of a discerning person. There is a chance to sign up at the end, and they can skip this portion unless they want more information.

Before Next Time:Make sure you don’t just talk about these Sacraments; however, give them an action plan when it comes to the exercises in their Next Step Guides. For some of them (and their families) participating in the sacraments is very intimidating.

Encourage them to come to our parish “40 Hours” Celebration, when the Blessed Sacrament is exposed for (you guessed it) 40 hours, and we have a guest priest give reflections. Also encourage them to take advantage of parish Reconciliation services during Advent and Lent.

Other regularly occurring options are:

Daily Mass (9am M/T/Th/F, and 6pm Wednesday in the chapel) Adoration (first Friday of the month – sign-up board in the narthex) Confession (8am and 4:30pm Saturdays)

No matter what, encourage them to physically engage in God’s grace.

Habit 5: Giving More Than Your TimeTithing

(Leader’s Guide)

What to Do:- Start out with prayer

- Review with them their Vision & Values Statement.

- Tackle and Explain – Money Makeover Money Plan

- Talk about the “holes” that might exist in this habit.

- Plan an action step (tangible and intangible)o Take Home Materialso Before Next Time

- Close in prayer

MONEY MAKEOVER MONEY PLANOf course we don’t expect that they will completely alter their money habits; but we do want them to realize that they have money habits. This exercise is designed to help them see whether or not they serve God or mammon, set some financial goals and see how tithing is a God honoring act. The first three steps are to be done with you, and when they go home have them complete the budget with their family.

STEP 1: WHERE IS YOUR HEART?:To be able to budget you need to know where the students’ hearts lie. The first thing we want to do is see how they prioritize. For this exercise you will need a p en/pencil and paper .

Give your candidate a piece of paper and a pencil. Have them number the paper 1-10, asking them to write 10 things that they love in no certain order (friends, family, MP3 player, pizza, etc.).

Then, ask, “If you had to give three things away to someone in need, what would it be?” Have them cross those items off the list and ask them what seven they have left.

Next, ask, “Okay, if you had to throw three more things in the ocean, what would they be?” Cross those off the list.

Last, say, “Now, pretend someone stole three more things off your list. What would you want to go?” Cross those off the list.

They should be left with only one thing. Ask, “If you had to, would you be happy going the rest of your life with just that one thing?” The point is to let the youth see where their priorities are as you reinforce the truth that God is all we need.

STEP 2: The Big 5: 5 handy questions to ask when making those big purchasesPre-meeting Prep:Come up with 3-4 items that teens may be drawn to (i.e. car), feel free to cut or print out an ad, aim to entice and attract them.

Instructions:Give the candidate your best sales pitch on each item and start up a conversation, if you have found that none of the items that you have found entice them, ask them to list 3 of their own. Talk about why they want that item and then review the following 5 questions. At the end of the exercise, let them know that these questions are dynamite in helping them make wise purchases.

1. Would you buy this product tomorrow if you were to wait overnight and had time to think about it? Would this give you time to research it more? Would this give you a chance to calm down and get over the “gotta-have-it-now” fever?

2. Is this item a need or a want? Carefully consider your motives in buying this item. Basic needs are food, clothing, transportation, and shelter. Everything else is a want. Remember stuff may buy short-term happiness, but true, lasting joy comes from within.

3. Do you understand the item? If you buy something just for bragging rights without really knowing how to use and enjoy it, is this a really good purchase?

4. Is there a better use for the money? Consider the opportunity cost. Once you buy an item, you can’t do anything else with that money. In the long run, would it be better to save this amount for the future? Remember, time is your best friend when it comes to saving and building wealth!

5. Have you asked anybody their opinion? Seek wise counsel. Ask someone you trust and respect if they think buying that item is a good idea right now.

STEP 3: Teen Budget Sheet“CONTROL YOUR MONEY BEFORE IT CONTROLS

YOU!!!”

MONTH OF: ____________________________

Budgeted Sub Actually % of TakeItem Total TOTAL Spent Home Pay

CHARITABLE GIFTS______________ ______ _______ ______________ ______ _______ _______ _______

FOOD______________ ______ _______ ______________ ______ _______ _______ _______

TRANSPORTATION______________ ______ _______ ______________ ______ _______ ______________ ______ _______ _______ _______

PERSONAL______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ _______ _______

PAGE 1 TOTAL _______

Budgeted Sub Actually % of TakeItem Total TOTAL Spent Home Pay

ENTERTAINMENT & RECREATION______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ ______________ _______ _______ _______ _______

SAVING Emergency Fund _______ _______ Car Fund _______ _______College Fund _______ _______Savings Fund _______ ______ _______ _______

DEBT (the sooner you pay off debt the more you have to save & give)Credit Card 1 _______ _______ Credit Card 2 _______ _______ Car Payment?? _______ _______ _______ _______

PAGE 2 TOTAL _______ +PAGE 1 TOTAL _______ =GRAND TOTAL _______ -TOTAL INCOME _______ZERO ZERO

Net Wages:

Gross Wages:

Fill In The Holes:After you review the Budget sheet, talk about the following points and ask them:

1. Do you agree or disagree with the following points about money? Why or why not?

2. Where do you feel money controls you the most (i.e. makes me worry, I never have enough, I think it’s evil)?

3. How do you think money affects your relationship with God?

BUDGETING1. When you love money we are left powerless, while loving God leaves me empoweredNo servant can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Luke 16:132. Faith in money leaves me insecure, while faith in God secures me in heaven.“Toil not to gain wealth, cease to be concerned about it; while your glance flits to it, it is gone! For assuredly it grows wings, like the eagle that flies toward heaven.” Proverbs 23:4-53. Giving proves that I recognize God as the rightful ownerWhen you have eaten your fill, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.” Deuteronomy 8:10

Before you broach the topic of giving, discuss the following points and ask:1. Have you ever had the conversation about tithing with your parents? If

so what are their views? If not what do you think their views are regarding the manner?

2. What do you think is the biggest obstacle to starting (or increasing) your giving?

3. What do you see as the biggest challenge towards giving? Explain.a. Giving Cheerfullyb. Giving in Secretc. Expecting God’s Blessings

GIVING1. Giving proves that I put God first in my life.“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.” Matthew 6:332. Giving proves I trust God to provide for me“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything your land produces. Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with the finest wine.” Proverbs 3:9-103. When you give to God inspect your heart (give cheerfully), reject recognition (give in secret) and expect God’s blessings (get beyond expectations).

“If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving-large or small-it will be used to measure what is given back to you.” Luke 6:38

Take Home Materials:Resources

o Teen Budget Sheet

Description of materials:Teen Budget Sheet – This is something you and the candidate can spend time doing together; however, we also want them to take it home and work on it with their family. This is a great time to have dialogue with parents, and let them know that you want to see it. You may even challenge yourself to show the student your budget sheet.

First figure out their total income (if they do not have an allowance or job, figure out on average per month how much money they come across.) Put that number in the total income line.

In each category, you will want the student to fill in an item (i.e. under ENTERTAINMENT & RECREATION, put “Going to the movies”)

Next you’ll add up all their expenses, subtract it from their total income to make sure it equals zero. Challenge them to stay within their budget.

Before Next Time:This is a good time to share with them your struggles with tithing, but remember this isn’t just about tithing but good stewardship. Therefore, you may want to emphasize the importance of a budget for tithing, savings and even spending. This will seem intimidating or even unnecessary to students because for many of them this is a whole new area in their faith. Don’t be frustrated if the teen can’t figure out their budget right away – ask them about how they receive money and what they spend money on. Some of them might have parents that pay for everything. Challenge them to ask their parents for one month’s worth of expenses that they will have to manage and budget. Raise the bar!

Habit 6: Involvement – Next StepsPreparation might be coming to an end; however,

the journey isn’t over.(Leader’s Guide)

What to Do:- Start out with prayer

- Review your Vision and Values

- Tackle and Explain – SHAPE Profile

- Discuss Life After Confirmation

- Close in prayer

You’ve spent most of the time reviewing their vision, values and a series of habits to affirm the Christian man/woman God wants them to be. Take this last session to evaluate how far they’ve come by doing the following exercise.A good option is to have them fill out the following SHAPE profile to plug into ministry; however, we want to see if what they write in this exercise affirms what they originally wrote in their vision and values. If it does not, tell them not to worry, but to use it as a means of reevaluating what they originally wrote. We might have a good idea of where God wants us to go; however, we can never be too sure. Our vision and values can and will change (even if it’s just a little bit).

SHAPE PROFILEWe want the candidates to discover that God has created them for a unique purpose, with unique gifts and unique passions. The goal of this exercise is to help them:

1. Discover their Spiritual Gifts2. Explore what their Heart beats for.3. Examine their God given Abilities4. Look at the beautiful Personality they can bless others with.5. Learn how their past Experiences can help others.

…in something we call SHAPE.

There are five steps to this exercise. Each step is meant to help the student discern how God has shaped them.

Step 1: Spiritual GiftsRead to the Student: At Baptism God gave each of us a spiritual gift. A spiritual gift comes from God as part of your personal identity, and it’s a gift to use your whole, entire life – not just when you’re older or richer – now and always. God gives out these gifts personally, one by one.

How do you know if you are using your spiritual gift(s)?1. Other people are helped when you use your gifts.2. God is honored when you use your gifts (meaning, it not about you

getting the credit or glory).3. You feel good, fulfilled, and employed by God when you direct your

gifts to serve others.

With that criteria, review the following list of gifts (listed alphabetically), and name three spiritual gifts you possess:1.2.3.

Now take some time with the following question to reflect on your spiritual gifts:

1. Are other people helped when I use my gift?2. Is God honored when I use my gift?3. Do I feel fulfilled and employed by God when I use my gift?

If the candidate feels as if the answer is no, tell them not to worry, they may never have viewed their gifts as “spiritual.” Have the candidate take another look at the list or think of other gifts and share with you why they feel they have those gifts.

Administration: the gift that allows the believer to formulate, direct, and carry out plans necessary to fulfill a purpose. Artistry: the gift that inspires the believer to create art that produces a spiritual response of strength and inspiration. Discernment:  the gift that motivates a believer to seek God's will and purpose and apply that understanding to individual and congregational situations. Evangelism:  the gift that moves believers to reach nonbelievers in such a way that they are baptized and become active members of the Christian community.Exhortation:  the gift that moves the believer to reach out with Christian love and presence to people in personal conflict or facing a spiritual void. Faith:  the gift that gives a believer the eyes to see the Spirit at work and the ability to trust the Spirit's leading without indication of where it all might lead. Giving: the gift that enables a believer to recognize God's blessings and to respond to those blessings by generously and sacrificially giving of one's resources (time, talent, and treasure). Hospitality: the gift that causes a believer to joyfully welcome and receive guests and those in need of food and lodging. Intercession:  the gift that enables a believer to pray with the certainty that prayer is heard and when requests are made, answers will come. Knowledge: the gift that drives a person to learn, analyze and uncover new insights with regard to the Bible and faith. Leadership:  the gift that gives a believer the confidence to step forward, give direction and provide motivation to fulfill a dream or complete a task. Mercy:  the gift that motivates a believer to feel deeply for those in physical, spiritual, or emotional need and then act to meet that need.  Music--Vocal:  the gift that gives a believer the capability and opportunity to present personal witness and inspiration to others through singing. Music--Instrumental:  the gift that inspires a believer to express personal faith and provide inspiration and comfort through the playing of a musical instrument. Pastoring (Shepherding):   the gift that gives a believer the confidence, capability and compassion to provide spiritual leadership and direction for individuals or groups of believers. Service:  the gift that enables a believer to work gladly behind the scenes in order that God's work is fulfilled.

Skilled Craft:   the gift that enables a believer to create, build, maintain or repair items used within the church. Teaching:   the gift that enables a believer to communicate a personal understanding of the Bible and faith in such a way that it becomes clear and understood by others. Wisdom:   the gift that allows the believer to sort through opinions, facts and thoughts in order to determine what solution would be best for the individual believer or the community of believers. Writing:   the gift that gives a believer the ability to express truth in a written form; a form that can edify, instruct and strengthen the community of believers.

Step 2: HeartRead to the Student: As you define your SHAPE you need to look into your heart. What do you really love to do? What brings you the most joy of all? If you “take delight in the Lord… he will give you your heart’s desires.” We know that’s true because Jesus said it in the Gospel of John: “I came that you might have life in its fullest.” God wants you to be happy!

Take some time with the student to discuss the following categories and their questions, have them record this in their handouts.

What Do You Love Doing?1. What do you really enjoy doing?2. What thoughts fill your daydreams?3. What motivates you to want to get off the couch?

Given your answers to the first three questions, how might God use what you love doing to help you serve others?

Whom Do You Love Serving?1. Who has God brought into my life for a specific purpose?2. What peer groups do I feel led to serve?3. How could I serve others in a way that might allow me to use my

spiritual gifts?4. Are there other types of people I might enjoy serving? If so, who?

What Cause Would You Love To Help Conquer?1. What issues makes your heart beat faster?2. Where could you make the greatest impact for God?3. If time were not a concern, how would you like to serve God?

Step 3: AbilitiesRead to the Student: We all have some skill. We’re good at certain things from jump roping to needle work to fixing appliances to delivering speeches. But when skill meets God – when skills collide with spiritual gifts – you get an ability, and an ability is an opportunity for greatness.

The candidate might know their abilities already, or they may have an idea, but if they don’t, show them the following list of abilities that we’ve come up with. Remind them these aren’t the only ones that exist. BUT, before you show them the list have them consider three responses they may have when they see each ability:

1. Love It! – You can’t imagine life without these activities, they make your day incredible. If you had the opportunity to make this your career you would.

2. Like It! – You enjoy them, but you don’t need them to survive or be happy, you basically can take ‘em or leave ‘em.

3. Live Without It! – You see these actions and you are like, “Forget about it.” They leave you tired or exhausted.

1. Adapting2. Analyzing3. Building4. Coaching5. Communicating6. Competing7. Computing8. Connecting9. Consulting10. Cooking11. Coordinat

ing12. Counselin

g13. Creating14. Decoratin

g15. Designing16. Developi

ng17. Directing18. Editing19. Encouragi

ng20. Engineeri

ng21. Facilitatin

g22. Forecasti

ng23. Impleme

nting24. Improvin

g25. Influencin

g

26. Landscaping

27. Leading28. Learning29. Managing30. Mentorin

g31. Motivatin

g32. Negotiati

ng33. Operating34. Organizin

g35. Performin

g36. Pioneerin

g37. Planning38. Promotin

g39. Recruitin

g40. Repairing41. Researchi

ng42. Resourcin

g43. Serving44. Strategizi

ng45. Teaching46. Translatin

g47. Traveling

48. Visualizing

49. Welcoming

50. Writing

If the candidate circled more than five of the 50 items, have them go back and pick the five that most define them.

I Love and Cannot Live Without These 5 Abilities:1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Step 5: PersonalityRead to the Student: Without a doubt, your personality is just as God intended. Sometimes we wish we were more like other people, but the honest truth is: your personality is perfect. God designed it. Personality is how you encounter life and how you express it. It’s how you naturally respond to situations and circumstances. Whether you’re reserved or outgoing, whether you prefer to plan out your day or have no definite schedule at all, whether you think or feel your way through decisions… your personality was created by God just the way God wanted you to be.

Before starting the next step discuss:How they typically relate to other people?How they respond to opportunities?

Have the candidate discern with the following questions. (Note this is not a scientific process, but just to get their minds flowing)

RESPONDING TO OTHERS: (circle one)1. Around others I am more: RESERVED or OUTGOING

Find ways to be part of the crowdBuild deep relationships with a few friends, not large numbers of

people.Start conversations with people I don’t know.

Avoid being a part of a large group.

2. My decisions are based more on: FACTS/ THINKING or FEELINGSFeel free to share my feelings with people I’ve just met.

Withhold my thoughts and feelings from others at certain times.Seek opportunities to share my life with others.

Hold back so only a few close friends can truly know me.

3. In my relationships I tend to be more: COOPERATIVE or COMPETITIVEFocus on making sure people feel comfortable when I’m around them.

Find importance in achievements.Look for ways to make others content.Embrace conflict and enjoy winning.

RESPONDING TO OPPORTUNITIES: (circle one)1. I tend to be more: HIGH RISK or LOW RISK

Avoid radical changes.Enjoy chaotic environmentsExcel when risk is very low.

Get motivated when I have the chance to overcome big obstacles.

2. I am drawn more to: PEOPLE or PROJECTSEmbrace opportunities to work with other people directly.

Look for ways to complete projects.Enjoy being involved in many projects at once.

Find more fulfillment when I can work with someone one-on-eon or in a small group.

3. I like to: FOLLOW or LEADOften find myself leading others.

Feel comfortable when I can follow someone else.Determine the direction for groups I’m part of.

Experience fulfillment when I help others succeed.

4. I enjoy: BEING ON A TEAM or FLYING SOLOI enjoy being part of a team or group.

Look for opportunities that allow me to work by myself.Become energized by being around others.

Work most effectively when I’m alone.

5. I am all about: ROUTINE or VARIETYBe involved in many projects at one time.

Prefer completing one project before starting another.Enjoy being responsible for a lot of tasks at the same time.

Become overwhelmed with constant change.

STEP 5: ExperiencesRead to the Student: All of our experiences can draw us closer to God. It hardly seems like it at the time, but even a bad experience is an opportunity to grow closer to God, the source of constant help and hope and healing. God doesn’t mete out those bad times, zapping people from heaven, causing disease or injustice, but God loves us too much to prevent all bad things. After all, bad experiences make us stronger and can help us to love better. If we grapple over a hard situation open to God’s grace, we certainly grow. We can then offer strength and empathy to others who encounter the same experience.

“(God) ... wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them the same help and comfort God has given us! (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Don’t waste those bad experiences. Allow them shape your ministry as they have shaped you. Let your experience be a blessing to others!

Give the candidate time to reflect and journal quietly over the next three areas. Afterwards take some time to review his/her answers:

My spiritual experience is (how my faith has grown):

Top three positive memories I have:

Some painful experiences that I’ve had:

A past experience I’ve learned from is:

Before Next Time:This might be the last time you meet with your candidate (It doesn’t have to be) so make sure you discuss life after Confirmation. You will want to encourage three things:

1. To constantly tweak and reflect on their vision and values.2. To consistently plug themselves into the parish whether it’s

through Antioch, Young Disciples, Youth Choir, or another parish ministry.

3. To touch base with their sponsor and discuss their journey thus far and how they will continue after you finish meeting with them.