Understanding Others By Understanding Yourselfoces.okstate.edu/kay/fcs/Personality Plus April...

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Personality PlusPersonality Plus

Understanding Others By Understanding Others By Understanding YourselfUnderstanding YourselfUnderstanding YourselfUnderstanding Yourself

Prepared by: Susan Moffat

Extension EducatorCleveland County

Discover the person you’ve Discover the person you’ve always wanted to be!always wanted to be!

• When we know who we are and why we act like we do, we begin to

• When we know who we are and why we act like we do, we begin to understand our inner self and learn how to get along better with others.

There is only one YOU!There is only one YOU!

• No two people are alike

• It’s what’s

• Examine your strengths and your weaknesses

• It’s what’s underneaththat counts

• Each person is unique

• Accentuate positives & eliminate negatives

• Realize that different does not mean wrong

A Look at Your PersonalityA Look at Your Personality

• Emotions

• As a Parent• As a Parent

• At Work

• As a Friend

Personality ProfilePersonality Profile

• Place an X in front of the ONE word that most applies in each row.

• If in doubt, ask a friend, spouse or • If in doubt, ask a friend, spouse or co-worker.

• Add the strengths and weaknesses together for a combined total.

Personality ProfilePersonality Profile

• Your personality profile is the highest combined total of the four profiles Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. Phlegmatic.

• You may be strong in more than one area.

FourFour Personality Types:Personality Types:

• Sanquine—Fun & Popular

• Melancholy--Perfectionist• Melancholy--Perfectionist

• Choleric—Born Leaders

• Phlegmatic--Peaceful

Popular Sanquine StrengthsPopular Sanquine StrengthsThe Extrovert * The Talker * The OptimistThe Extrovert * The Talker * The Optimist

• Seem exciting

• Friendly and fun

• Love people

• Outgoing

• Hold on to listener

• Good on stage

• Enthusiastic

• Expressive• Outgoing

• Expect the best

• Good temperament

• Talkative, storyteller

• Life of the party

• Memory for color

• Expressive

• Volunteer for jobs

• Creative & colorful

• Inspire and charm

• Make friends easily

• Always a child

Perfect Melancholy StrengthsPerfect Melancholy StrengthsThe Introvert * The Thinker * The PessimistThe Introvert * The Thinker * The Pessimist

• Deep, thoughtful,

• Analytical

• Serious & purposeful

• Neat & tidy

• Perfectionist• Serious & purposeful

• Intellectual, genius

• Talented & creative

• Detail oriented

• Lists, charts, graphs

• Orderly & organized

• Perfectionist

• High standards

• Economical

• Compassionate

• Seek ideal mate

• Deep Concern for others

Powerful Choleric PersonalityPowerful Choleric PersonalityThe Extrovert * The Doer * The OptimistThe Extrovert * The Doer * The Optimist

• Born leader

• Need for change• Need for change

• Strong-willed

• Decisive

• Can run anything

• Goal oriented

• Organizes well

• Delegates work

• Thrives on opposition

• Little need for friends

• Is usually right

• Excels in emergencies

Peaceful Phlegmatic PersonalityPeaceful Phlegmatic PersonalityThe Introvert * The Watcher * The PessimistThe Introvert * The Watcher * The Pessimist

• All purpose person

• Low-key personality

• Mediates problems

• Gets along well with others

personality

• Easygoing

• Cool, calm, collected

• Patient, well balanced

• Reconciled to life

• Gets along well with others

• Has many friends

• Good listener

• Has administrative ability

Positives Carried to Extremes Positives Carried to Extremes Become NegativesBecome Negatives

• Popular Sanquines are constantly talking, monopolizing, interrupting and straying from the truth.

• Perfect Melancholy’s analytical thinking creates • Perfect Melancholy’s analytical thinking creates moodiness & depression.

• Powerful Choleric’s leadership can appear to be bossy and controlling.

• Peaceful Phlegmatic’s easygoing nature leads others to think they are indecisive and indifferent.

Organize the Popular SanguineOrganize the Popular Sanguine

Problems:

• Talks too much

• Self-Centered

Solutions:

• Talk half as much

• Watch for boredom• Self-Centered

• Doesn’t follow through

• Do not think they have faults

• Watch for boredom

• Condense comments

• Stop exaggerating

• Learn to Listen

• Be sensitive to others

Organize the Popular Sanguine Organize the Popular Sanguine Some moreSome more……

Problems:

• Poor memory

• Disorganized

Solutions:

• Pull life together

• Grow up• Disorganized

• Immature

• Fickle

• Loses car and kids

• Grow up

• Avoid filling in the gaps

• Put others first

• Make lists

Cheer Up the MelancholyCheer Up the Melancholy

Problems:

• Think they are perfect

Solutions:

• Make self cheerful• Avoid negative thinkingperfect

• Take things personally

• Get Depressed• Procrastinate• Put unrealistic

demands on self• Low self image

• Avoid negative thinking• Don’t be easily hurt• Look for positives• Don’t be own worst enemy• Relax standards• Find insecurities and correct them

Tone Down the CholericTone Down the Choleric

Problems:• Never has a fault

• Compulsive worker

• Pressures others

Solutions:• Learn to relax• Avoid Guilt• Take off pressure• Pressures others

• Must be in control

• Cannot tolerate weakness

• Lacks patience

• Wants to correct others

• Take off pressure• Respond to other leaders• Stop looking down• Admit faults, apologize• Practice patience• Stop arguing• Keep advice to self

MotivateMotivatePhlegmaticsPhlegmatics

Problems:

• Not exciting

Solutions:• Get Enthused• Try something new• Not exciting

• Resist Change• Appear lazy• Procrastinate• Stubborn• Communication• Will of iron• Pessimistic

• Try something new• Accept responsibility• Do it today• Open up • Motivate yourself• Learn to communicate• Set goals & make rewards

Natural BlendsNatural BlendsPopular Sanquine/Powerful Choleric

BothOutgoingOptimisticOutspoken

Sanquine talksfor Pleasure

Choleric talksfor Business

Greatestpotential forLeadership

Can direct others andmake them

enjoy the work

Outspoken

Natural BlendsNatural Blends

Perfect Melancholy/Peaceful Phlegmatic

Both are:introvertedpessimistic

Makes thegreatest

educators

Melancholy'slove to studyand research

Phlegmatics getalong and

presents well

pessimisticsoft-spoken

Complementary BlendsComplementary Blends

Powerful Choleric/Perfect Melancholy

Makes goodbusiness

leadership

Choleric:Leadership

drive and goals

Melancholy:Analytical

detail-consciousscheduled

Be sucessfulno matterhow long it

takes

leadership

Complementary BlendsComplementary Blends

Popular Sanquine/ Peaceful Phlegmatic

Makesthebest

Takes it easy,and has fun.

Warm & relaxed

Best fordealing with

people but poorwith money

Good inpersonnel, civic

work and asparents

bestfriends

OppositesOppositesPopular Sanquine/ Perfect MelancholyPowerful Choleric/Peaceful Phlegmatic

The Introvert/ ExtrovertOptimistic/Pessimistic

natures & outlooks

Sanquine/Melancholymost emotional

One wants to partyand the other cancels the plans

Choleric/Phlegmaticdeal with conflict to work

or not to work

Phlegmatic wants totake it easy, the Choleric

feels guilty if notproducing

natures & outlooks

How to Get Along With OthersHow to Get Along With Others

The Popular Sanquine PersonalityThe Popular Sanquine Personality

• Recognize their inability to follow through.

• Realize they talk without thinking first.

• Realize they like variety and flexibility.

• Help them to keep from accepting more.

• Don’t expect them to be on time.• Don’t expect them to be on time.

• Praise them for everything they accomplish.

• Remember they are controlled by circumstances

• Bring them presents, they like new toys.

• Accept that they will make fun of what would be embarrassing for others.

• Realize they mean well.

The Perfect Melancholy PersonalityThe Perfect Melancholy Personality

• Know that they are very sensitive and get hurt.

• Realize they are programmed to be pessimistic.

• Learn to deal with depression.

• Compliment them sincerely and lovingly.• Compliment them sincerely and lovingly.

• Accept that they like to be quiet sometimes.

• Try to keep a reasonable schedule.

• Realize that neatness is a necessity.

• Help them not to become slaves to family.

The Powerful Choleric PersonalityThe Powerful Choleric Personality

• Recognize they are born leaders.

• Insist on two-way conversation.

• Know that they do not mean to hurt.

• Don’t push your luck.• Don’t push your luck.

• Try to divide areas of responsibility.

• Realize that they are not compassionate.

• Know that they are always right.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic PersonalityThe Peaceful Phlegmatic Personality

• Realize they need direct motivation.

• Help them set goals and give them rewards.

• Don’t expect enthusiasm.

• Realize that putting things off is their way of • Realize that putting things off is their way of having quiet control.

• Force them to make decisions.

• Don’t heap all the blame on them.

• Encourage them to accept responsibilities.

• Appreciate their even dispositions.

Make a Personal Plan:Make a Personal Plan:

• Understand basic temperament

• Admit your weaknesses

• Assess your strengths

• Evaluate your weaknesses• Evaluate your weaknesses

• Seek other opinions

• Plan your steps for Personal Improvement

• Ask family members for help