!Module 6: Later in Life & Marriages & Blended Families

More Than Friends Marriage Preparation Worksheet

Note:ThisModuleassumes:

a)YouhavecompletedModules1to5.Thismeansthatyouhavedoneimportant,helpfulworkwhichhasformedafirmbasisuponwhichtobeginthisModule.

b)Morelovecannothurt.Itcanonlyhelpyou,especiallyifyouareachild,evenanadultchild.ThisisanassumpDonrunningthroughalloftheseModules,butitbearsspecialaEenDoninthisModule.Insecondand/orlatermarriages,thereareoGenchildrenthatcomewithoneorbothpartners.SomeDmesthesechildrenareyoungadultsoradults.SomeDmestheotherparentofthischildorotherpeopleinthefamilywillassumethatnowthattheparentisremarryingorbringinganotherpartnerintothefamilythatachild’slovewillbedivided.Itneverworksthisway.Loveisnotapietobedividedup.LoveisinsteadanongoinginvestmentthatgrowsandprovidesemoDonalandspiritualdividendsbeyondourimagining.Themorechildrenareloved,themoretheythriveandbuildimportantbonds.Inthebeginning,astep-parent,(orparent-by-marriage,orchosen-parent)mayoGenbeofferinguptheirlovewithnoobviousimmediatereturnaschildrenadjust.SomeDmesitcantakeyears.However,anyloveofferedwithgraceisalwayshavinganeffect,whetheritisvisibleornot.

c)Spousescomingintoasecondand/orlatermarriagebringresiliencewiththem.BlendedfamilieshavetheirownpaEernsofresiliencethatarediscoverablethroughexperimentaDon,muchdiscussionandtenacity.Youneedtohavefaithintherealityofresilience.____________________________________________________________________________

1)Asyouconsideryourupcomingwedding,whatdoyoulookmostforwardto?

Couple worksheet #6 & #7 www.morethanfriends.live Page ! of !1 4

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!2)Asyouconsideryourupcomingwedding,listsomeofthechallengesthatyouhavecomethroughtogetherasyouhavemadeplansandarrangements.

3)Name3learningsthatyouhavegainedfromyourpreviousmarriage(ifmarriedbefore).

4)Whatstrengths,abiliDesandgiEsdoyoubringintothismarriage?Whatstrengths,abiliDesandgiEsdothosepeopleaFachedtoyournewspousebringintoyourrelaDonshipwiththem?(i.echildren,in-laws,ex’s)

5)WhattermdoyouprefertobecalledbyyournewrelaDves?(Mom?Dad?First-name?Other?)Howhaveyouconsultedwiththeminthisregard?Dotheypreferdifferentterms?

6)Whatarrangementswillyoumakeintermsofimportantholidaysandfamilyoccasions?Ifchildrenareinvolved,howcanyoucommunicatehowyoucareaboutthem?Ifan“ex”isinvolved,howcanyourelateinawaythatcausestheleastdisrupDontothechildren,butalsotakesyourownneedsintoaccount?

7)Ifchildrenorgrand-childrenareinvolvedwithoneorbothpartners,howcanyouadvocateforyourpartner’saccessinthe“line-up”?

8)WhenyourpartneristreatedwithdisrespectorhosDlityinfamilyorfriendgatherings,howwillyousupporthim/her?

9)Haveyoudonesomeestateplanningtogetheranddiscussedtheresultswithadultchildren?ThiscanoEenrelieveanxieDeswithinfamiliesandprovideagoodbasisforongoingcordialrelaDonships.

WhenyouhavefinishedansweringthesequesDons,shareyourresponseswithyourpartner.Aretheresurprises?WhatdoyoufindcomforDngoraffirming?

Couple worksheet #6 & #7 www.morethanfriends.live Page ! of !2 4

SAMPLE PAGES. FORMATTED IN THE COUPLE PACKAGE.

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Module 7: Same Gender Marriages More Than Friends Marriage Preparation Worksheet

Note:ThisModuleassumesthatyouhavecompletedModules1to5.Thismeansthatyouhavedoneimportant,helpfulworkwhichhasformedafirmbasisuponwhichtobeginthisModule.

Whenyouthinkaboutyourmarriageday,whatdoyoulookforwardtothemost?

Whenyouthinkofyourmarriageday,aretherepeoplewhowillbemissingorotherswhohaveexpressednegaDvefeelingstowardyourmarriagebecauseyouaremarryingasame-sexpartner?TakesomeDmetowritedownyourfeelingsaboutthis.

Arethereanycircumstancesinwhichyoumayneedtolimitcontactwithanyofthesepersons?

Who,inyourlifehasexpressedjoyforyoubecauseyouhavechosentomarryyourbeloved?Listthepeoplewhoarehappyforyouandwhocareforthepersonyouhavechosentomarry.

Howmanyoftheabovepeoplearefamily?Howmanyarefriends?Howmanydoyouhaveincommonwithyourpartner?HowmanywillyouseeonaregularbasisaEerthewedding.Howmanyarecomingtoyourwedding?Itisimportanttorememberwhosupportsyouinyourongoinglifeandtokeepconnectedtothesepeople.

Whatsurname(s)haveyouchosen?Howwouldyoulikepeopletoaddressyourbeloved(wife,spouse,husband…)?

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Couple worksheet #6 & #7 www.morethanfriends.live Page ! of !3 4

SAMPLE PAGES. FORMATTED IN THE COUPLE PACKAGE.

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Merging”canbeaproblemforlong-Dmemarriages.Thishappenswhenacouplebecomessofamiliarwitheachotherthattheybecomesimilarinmanyrespects.Allofushaveseencoupleswhobegintoresembleeachotherastheyage!Whenthishappens,couplesmayfindsexualinterestdropsoffastherelaDonshipmovesintomoreofa“sibling”kindofrelaDonship.Passionisthepricepaidformerging.Forheterosexualcouples,mergingcanhappen,butthereisthedifferenceingenderthatslowsandrestrainstheprocess.Howcanandwillyouencouragetheuniquedifferencesthatdrewyoutogetherasyourmarriedlifeunfolds?Whatareyourdifferences?Whichofthesedoyoufindendearing?Whichdoyoufindannoying?

WhenyouhavefinishedansweringthesequesDons,shareyourresponseswithyourpartner.Aretheresurprises?WhatdoyoufindcomforDngoraffirming?

Couple worksheet #6 & #7 www.morethanfriends.live Page ! of !4 4

SAMPLE PAGES. FORMATTED IN THE COUPLE PACKAGE.