A2 JUN 15 1995 M S Tha Mt. Vamon Signal ThurxUy, July 16,1995

Viewpoints

Ik

i n had it alt to do over again, I wouldn't have wasted nearly as many bean and pea seeds, okra and squash and at least a dozen other different kinds of vegetables that I have at-tempted to grow this season.

Instead I would have gone to the video store and rented a handful of Vietnam war movies and fast fore-warded them to the rice paddy scenes to see if I could come up with any information about building a paddy and growing a rice crop. I'm sure that if 1 put a bit of effort into it I could "make my garden hold even more water than it's held all spring. In fact, I believe that with a small dam I could have made a reasonable attempt at catfish farming. Unfortunately Loretta is more interested in (oma toes and cucumbers.

I've dutifully planted cucumbcrs five times. I have subsequently learned that cucumber plants can't survive more than a few hours under-water. I have three pitiful Jittic rows

of sweet com that are golden yellow. I'm talking about the stalks, not the cars, about stalks that should be a dark, blackish green. At this writing we have had lots of cauliflower and broccoli out of our garden and the cabbage seems to be doing remarka-bly well but if it doesn't stop raining every day, I fear the only usable crop we're apt to have is hog weeds. At least they can be moved down and thrown across the fcncc to feed to the cattle. Hog weeds also seem to thrive on wet weather and they grow about six inches a day.

If it rainsonc more time this week, I know where an old pickup bed is that I aim to haul to higher ground and fill it with a few buckets of compost. I intend to wade out and pull four or five of my Molly Helton Sunburst tomatoes and maybe a couple of pepper plants from the swamp/paddy and reset them. While I am no longer under the delusions that I may grow that elusive five

pounder this year, we may yet be able to produce a few slicers before the first snow fall. In the meantime, I am busy stuffing envelopes with beans seeds to all you folks who have re-quested a start of the Bufford Caudill fall beans.

If you haven't already written, please hold off till next year. We're running out of growing time and I'm also running out of seed. In fact, I may have to find another old truck bed so that I can yet grow a mess or two myself.

In other news, and speaking of pickups, you all may be interested in learning that a frequent subject inlhis column is no longer in my posses-sion. I no longer own the lemon jeep. In return for all the spankings and other forms of punishment that she didn't receive as achild, I have signed over the title of the lemon to my daughter Carol. And now that I think about it. I believe Ijknow where that

other truck bed should beavailable in a couple of weeks.

I now own the reddest red. full-size Chevrolet pickup in Garrard County, compliments of State Rep-resentative Paul Mason and The

over 150 miles to Whitesburg from Paint Lick to make the deal with which I am very well please, paul wouldn't take the lemon in trade because I had written too many bad things about it in the paper. It didn't matter that I had cditoralized so elo-quently about its recent trouble-free trip to Kentucky Lake. Paul didn't even want the lemon on his lot be-cause he was afraid the rest of his vehicles might catch a contagious disease. I still got the deal I had been looking for over the last several months and I'm convinced that you shouldn't trade cars until you at least talk to Paul Mason.

HERESAY

By: John Norman

Meadows H iHourtt %rttcn jitgrtal

Publication Number 366-000 Sccond Class Postage Paid in Mt . Vernon, Ky. 40456

6 0 6 - 2 5 6 - 2 2 4 4 Published every Thursdaysince November, 1887. Offices in the Mt. Vernon Signal Building on Main Street in Mt. Vemon, Ky. 40456. Postmaster, send address changes to P.O. Box 185, Mt. Vernon, Kentucky 40456.

James Anderkin, Jr., Publisher - Perlina M. Anderkin, Editor Richard F. Anderkin, Managityj Editor

SUBSCRIPTION RATES In County - $15.00 Yr. Out-of-County In State $20.00 Yr.

Out-of-Statc $26 Yr.

PRECIOUS SOULS. CHIL-DREN OF AN EVIL AGE. greetings and illuminations from the ever memorable and usually cordial weald of Wabd, where we don't worry about having all the answers because no one is sman enough to ask all the questions.

Speaking of knowledge, I used to peddle it now and then—Encyclo-paedia Britannica, that is, the most complete and authoritative reference source in the English-speaking world. With the advent of the computerized, multimedia encyclopedia, however, the days of those space-eating, dust-collecting volumes arc numbered. (Whoa there. World Book advocates, don't vex your viials. WB is okay but

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has far less data and depth than EB.) Last week I read an article in Com-

puter Life en tided The Death of the Encyclopedia Salesman," the gist of which can be put in the form of a question: Why pay $700 to $2,000 when you can get a quality encyclo-pedia on CD for about $100?" (Such as Groilers. my favorite, or Enc'arta and Comptons. If, however, you're really into rcscarch, Britannica is now on CD—for a thousands bucks! But wait until the interaction kinks are worked out.)

No, I don't hawk EB anymore. Nowadays, I write religious books, like my bestseller. Did Adam Have a Navel? and its sequel, Did£ve.' Pres-ently, I am hard at work composing a volume on The BookofRevelation. It surely will hit the top of the charts. Preachers, teachers, laymen, and laywomcn will find it an indispen-sable tool. For example, I trace a myriad of interpretations of Revela-tion from the days of the early church (FBC in Jerusalem) up to Hal Lind-seed's The Late Great Planet Earth. You will enjoy my explication of the "dispensational-pre-millertnial-Rap-turc" theory versus the "historical-premillcnial-no-Rapturc" theory.

And you will revel in my evalu-ations of the last book of The Bible in the light of concepts that prc-occupy your mind almost daily, concepts such asAmillcnialism,Posl-millcnialism, Calvinism, Arminiamism, Apocalyti-cism.Neo-Orthodoxy, Apoplexy,and Nco-Sproinism. It will be tided What Saith the Isms? I hope to have it in bookstores by Halloween, where the cost will bconly $19.95. Look for my first day special!

(You were talking about Britan-nica. John'.)

Not only did I earn as much as twenty thousand in a year's time, I also garnered several good talcs about that most bizarre world. Here, abso-lutely wiembellished, arc a few. • When I worked for EB, door-to-door was out. Salesmen were given "leads" generated by the company, such as you see in TV Guide or in your Visa statement, etc. EB sold the leads to us for a little as one dollar or as much as ten. The leads indicated some measure of interest in EB by the per-son who sent in a coupon. Often it meant they only wanted the "frccbie" in the ad. But many want "more in-formation." It was my challenge to turn their interest intodesire—and an order.

Dollars leads from certain zip-code areas usually meant "1 want the gift" or "I want the books but have no credit." One evening in early April I drove to the "05" sectorof Indianapo-lis. the pan that was nearly a ghetto. I stopped in front of a really dilapi-dated house. Christmas lights were stil 1 strung across the porch. I double-checked the address. It was the right residence. No sale here, I thought, and knocked on the door.

Curtains in the windows on botfi sides of the door were pulled back. Curious little faces filled the panes. The door opened, and a middle-aged woman asked what I wanted. I intro-duced my scl f. explained the lead, and asked if her husband were home.

"Come in," she said. "He ain't here, but 111 call him. He's the one that sent that thing in."

Dear hearts, that house was old

and rather run-down, but inside it was as clean as a soldier's spit-shincd boots. So were the eight children who sat in a semi-circled and stared now at me and then at the bulging satchels I had set on the glistening, linoleum floor. By the time I had them talking and giggling their father was home. We moved into the dining room where I sat at one end of the table and he and his wife sat at the other. Then the children crowded around.

As I made my presentation, which involved the use of a "prospectus" containing pages from all thirty vol-umes of .Britannica, the father and mother looked more at the children than at me. Their expressions never changed, making it difficult for me to "read" how the "pitch" was going.

I went into the "close." Assuming he would and having explained the prices and methods of payment, I asked him to choose a binding. He pointed to the least expensive cover.

That in itself was a close! (But I thought. He can't afford it.)

"How much interest would I be paying over three years?" he asked.

When I told him, he shrugged and muttered. "I don't like payin' interest. I'd rather pay cash." That was usually an "excuse" that was hard to over-come, but it was a way of letting people off the hook with calling at-tention to the real issue—no money. I waited for the next line: "Why don't you give me a few months to save up the cash and I'll call you."

But he didn't say that! He mulled on that mauer, glanced at his wife, and back to me. "You got anything like ninety days same as cash?"

"Yes, I do. sir. but the company likes to have a third of the cost of whole set up front Then you can pay the balance in three, interest free, installments.

The children, who obviously wanted the books, watched silently as their daddy mulled some more. I said nothing. Then he turned to his wife. "Momma, go get the money."

While she was away in the bed-room to which she had closed the door, I showed the children some

NCAA basketball championship game that would be played later that evening.

The bedroom door opened, and the missus came out hoi di ng her apron filled with wrinkled bills. I sat there amazed as they pressed out $300 in ones, fives, tens, and a few twenties. And they paid off the balance in ninety days!

That was a pleasing sale to me, not only because I earned a good com-mission, but also because I left there knowing the books would be used. The father would sec to that. But I don't think he had to do much encour-aging. The older children's eyes told me so.

On another occasion in Indy, on a cold, snow-blowing night, I ap-proached a door and was about to ring the bell when I spied a note taped on the inside of the storm door. It read: "You are being watched. You have no readon to be at my door. If you arc still standing there after two minutes, you will be shot" No sale that night. I went straight home with-out even passing GO. And that was a $10 lead!

One Saturday afternoon, I pre-sented Britannica to a professor at DcPauw University in Indiana. Both he and his wife were experts in world literature. Quite a few things he told me, I already knew, but I feigned

(Cont. to A6)

Rockcastle Community

Bulletin Board Portrait Promotion

Livingston Volunteer Fire Depart-ment Is conducting a Portrait Promotion as a fund-raiser. Greg Stnjnk and Ronnie Mlze will be going door-teKtoor, asking for a $10 donation for which you will receive 8n 8x10 color portrait for you or your family. This will be going on thru June 26th.

Singles Club The Singles Club will meet each Saturday in the Rockcastle County Library at 7 p.m. All singles are Invited to come, refereshments are provided. For more informa-tion call 256-4347.

Swim Lessons Swim lessons will be given at Cedar Rapids CourWyCIub June 12-13,15-16,19-20 and 22-23 from 8 to 9 p.m. $35 256-4112.

Homemaker Handbook For a listing of Special Classes and Programs offered by the Extension Home Economics pro-gram, call 256-2403 and ask to be mailed the Homemaker Hand-book.

Saddle Club Rockcastle Saddle Club wagon ride hosted by Allen Dykes, June 17,9:30a.m. Hwy. 3268. Clean-up day at campground June 17. 10:00. Trails need cleaning also. Horse ride at cleftRock hosted by Steve Zupanic and Ralph McClure, Sunday June 18 at 2 p.m.

Bookmobile Schedule Wed. - June 21st - Ottawa and

Lick. Thurs. - June 22nd - Scaffold Cane, Disputanta, Angiln Falls, Clear Creek and Wildie. Fri. - June 23rd - Buffalo, Castle Village and Negro Creek.

Johne t ta Cemetery Please pick up flowers at Johnetta Cemetery by June 20th for mow-ing.

Please Remove Flowers All-flowers on grounds of Provi-dence. Fairview. and McKlnney Cemeteries will be thrown at next mowing. Week of June 18th for Providence and Fairview and week of-June 25thfor McKln-ney Cemetery.

Veterans Officer Veterans Service Officer will be at Mt. Vemon Courthouse June 19 ,9 to 2 p.m. to assist veter-ans, widows, dependants with claims.

RCHS SBDM meeting Rockcastle County High School SBDM Council meeting will be held on Monday, June 19,1995 at 6 p.m. in the conference room at the high school. This change from the regular meeting d8te on the last Monday of the month. Parents and Interested individuals are attend.

Kiwanls Club Kiwanis Club meeting at Rock-castle Steak House, Noon,Thurs-day, June 15. Guest speaker Is Wayne Gregory - investments,

P iece a Quilt in a Few Hours

Leam rotary cutting and strip piecing shortcuts forpiecingquilts* during a free class at the Exten-sion Office. During the class you can complete a Sunshine Shadows square. The clasl will be taught on June 20th at 10 a.m. and repeated at 6 p.m. To pro-register and for a materials list, call 256-2403.

Yo-Yo Projec ts Leam how to make yo yo's, not the toy, the circular fabric used in home decorating items; wear-ables and Jewelry. The class will be taught by Darlene Mink on June 29th at 6 p.m. at the Exten-sion Office. The class is free anyone. Call 256-2403 to pre-register and for a materials list

Bulletin Board Sponsored By

(2ox^unoral JCome MT. VERNON, KY. - 256-2345

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