Revised and edited

by Gwen Kik

To the relief of imperfect

parents EVERYWHERE!

Have you ever wondered how Santa could know

If you are naughty or nice each year as you grow?

For hundreds of years it has been a big secret.

It now can be shared if you promise to keep it.

At holiday time

Santa sometimes

sends me to you.

I watch and report

on all that you do.

My job is an

assignment from

Santa HISS-ELF.

I am his helper, a

friendly scout elf.

Once you are finished my

mission can start. What will

you call me - Sparkle or Fart?

Will it be Fiddle, Criddle or

Clyde?

Bugger is cute, too, but you

must decide.

The first time I come to the place you call home

you at some point must give me a name of my

own.

Each night while you are

sleeping to Santa I will fly,

to the North Pole right

through the dark sky.

Of course Christmas magic

helps me to be quick. I

laugh with my friends,

including

Mrs. Kik (and St. Nick).

I tell if you have have been whiny or bad.

News of this kind makes him very sad.

A push or a shove I report to the Boss,

But small acts of kindness will not be a loss.

In the car, at the park,

and especially with mother

the word will get out

if you hit your brother.

If you have been good, with no whining or crying,

no fighting, no pouting and surely no lying, THEN You can jump out of bed and come running to see: who

will be first to spy little old me?

Maybe the kitchen, the bathroom, or den

But if you are naughty - I might not come again.

I could be in the toilet or a grocery sack,

But when children act ugly, I might not come back.

There is only one rule that you really must keep:

DO NOT whine to Mommy

If I do not move while you sleep.

I like to do silly things when you are good,

So if you want me to show you -

Then act as you should.

I would rather tell Santa that you have been sweet,

that you have said your prayers and given sister a

treat!

How will he know how good you have been? He might

think that you forgot about him!

I cannot speak to you,

so says Santa Claus.

All of us elves have to follow his laws.

I will listen to you. Tell me your wishes.

Would you like a game or a bowl of live fishes?

The gleam in my eye and my bright little smile

Shows you I am listening and noting your file.

So if you wake up and I am still in the pool

Just ask yourself if you were actin’ a fool?

If this happens again for several days

I may not come back, that would be a

The night before Christmas my job is at an end.

The rest of the year with Santa I will spend.

He likes to eat cookies as he puts toys in a sock,

Some people think he needs Plexus, or at least some of

their Block!

Now blow me a kiss and bid me farewell.

I will fly away when I hear the sleigh bell.

Of course I will miss you, but wait till next

year. And if you are good I will reappear!

THE END

(p.s. - I always love saying that part :)