Post on 18-Dec-2015
description
by Benni Cinkle (:
That Girl in PinksINTERNET SURVIVAL GUIDE
For kids who live their lives online (and the moms and dads who love them!)
Surviving life on the Internet is about being okay with who you are, quirks and all!
Life online moves ridiculously fastA long time ago (like, last week), I was
just this middle school kid who loves Justin Bieber, loves hanging out with her
friends, and loves doing all the things youd expect someone like me would do. Then, something happened, and overnight literally I found myself in the Internet spotlight... and the object of some pretty
mean behavior.That something was a friend of mines
music video. (Its for a song she recorded called Friday. You may have heard of it by now, haha!) I danced in the video. Not
very well. Okay, it was extremely awkward. But I had a good time doing it, and it was just fun to be there and support my friend. I honestly didnt think anything of it.
Well. Apparently, the Internet did! And
within a matter of hours, I was singled out in the video for my dancing and publicly humiliated for my lack of talent. Overnight,
I was renamed That Girl in Pink and became the target of many cruel comments. Like I said, life online moves
ridiculously fast, and you never know what to expect. At that point, I figured I had two choices:
1. I could take things personally and feel bad, or
2. I could not take things personally and not feel bad.
I chose not to feel bad.
Turn things around so you feel goodSo I logged in and started responding
to the comments. I didnt address all of
them because that would have been impossible (within one day I had over 5,000 questions. Im sorry if I never responded to you
Super Easy Tips for Surviving Life Online
Remember: Its not personal.
Im not gunna lie. When Friday first hit the Internet, I was kinda surprised by all
of the negative comments that were directed at me
and my dancing. But then I realized a few things. First, even though people online
were trying to make it about me, it really wasnt. How
could it be? They dont even know me! And the crazy assumptions they were
making about me? Those were based on what people
had seen or heard not on any kind of truth. Maybe Im not a good dancer, but I
never claimed to be one. Im okay with who I am and
what I do with my life, and anything anyone else says good or bad cant
change that.
Hear what you want to hear, see what you
want to see. The thing about the
Internet is, you get to choose how you
take what someone says about you. Because I have this
choice, I can either look at a comment
as hurtful or just decide to make a joke out of it. Guess
which option I go with? (: I can also
imagine that the comment is coming from a friend who
knows me and likes me. When I do this, I
think of something funny to say in response, and it
takes the sting out of it.
Think before you
speak!Im comfortable with
who I am, but I also know that Im still a work in progress (I am still a kid!).
For this reason, Im always on the lookout for things I
can do to improve myself. Thats why I take the time to listen to what people say
online. Sometimes, when it feels like their criticisms are
coming from a place of kindness, I might find that theres some truth to what
they say and try to learn from it. And Im okay with
that, because Im still figuring out how to handle myself and how to handle
what others say about me.
But at other times, its very clear that someone is
just being mean. When this happens, I decide to ignore that comment and focus on
another comment from someone else who is
coming from a positive place and respond to them instead. This way, no matter
what is being said, when I decide to truly listen, I think
before I speak. That helps me to keep everything in perspective.
Keep your parents in the loop.
Just like in the real
world, kids shouldnt have to live life online alone. I
think its good to talk to your parents about what youre going through online (good
or bad) because they care
I painted this for my mom, so even though I cant dance, Im still pretty artistic!
Time offline can be a life saver, so dont forget to take a break. Your online friends can wait!
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about you and want to know whats going on in your life.
I also think its really important to share things that make you uncomfortable or worried. Because
lets face it: Problems that are bottled up inside will only get worse. And
things do get better when you ask for help. Dont be ashamed to ask. Everyone needs help sometimes.
If you dont feel like you can talk to your mom or dad, try to find another
adult that you trust and feel you can talk to. If that doesnt work, ask a close friend to help. And remember:
Adults might seem uncool a lot of the time, but believe it or not, theyve been
in your shoes before, and they know what youre going through.
Stay true to yourself.
People sometimes ask me, If you could, would you change anything about your Internet experience, good
or bad? Heres my answer: Dancing awkwardly in the Friday video has
done some amazing things for me. I mean, now I get to talk to kids just like me from all around the world. I cant
even begin to tell you how many people have written to say that they
are so happy to see me out there being myself, and that my dancing has given them courage to be who they
are. Even if thats not exactly perfect. And you know what? That feels really
good! So if my dancing helps just one other kid out there to feel a little bit better about who they are and where
they are in life, then Im happy. (:
I never went on the Internet thinking I was going to change the
world. But in my own small way, I think I have made a difference. Read some of the comments on my Facebook. Or
check out my YouTube page. Youll see people there are speaking from
the heart and congratulating me for how Ive handled the negative comments that have come my way.
But Im just being myself. And no matter what happens, Im just going to
stay happy and stay positive about things. Because life is better when youre smiling. And if youre smiling
along with me? Thats just gunna make the whole world brighter!
If youre a kid like me, I hope this little ebook helps you survive life
online. If youre the mom or dad of a kid like me, I hope this ebook will
make it easier for you talk to your kids about their online experiences and help them through the ups and downs
that are a normal part of life online.
If you have any questions for me or would like to share your story, youre always welcome in my online
world! Follow me on twitter (@benni_cinkle), friend me on
Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/BennetCinkle), or join me on Tumblr (http://benni-cinkle.tumblr.com). And if
you want to follow me in Spanish, Im on Taringa! (http://www.taringa.net/
perfil/bennicinkle)
Ill see you online!