Developing an Effective Professional Writing Style(Sentence Edition)

One guess: what best characterizes the intended audience for professional communication?

Thus: concise, appropriate and readable you must be.

Unnecessarily long words

Redundancy

“Deadwood”

Unnecessary passive voice

General Principle 1: BE CONCISE.

1. Eliminate unnecessarily long words.

Instead of…

Approximately

Demonstrate

Utilize

Subsequently

Construct

Assistance

Competencies

Initiate

Use…

About

Show

Use

Next

Build

Help

Skills

Start, Begin

(pg 69-73)

2. Eliminate redundancy.Examples of redundancy:already existing

alternative choices

each and every

at the present time presently

continue to remain

3. Reduce “deadwood” (empty phrases).• it is my intent to show that• in my opinion• as a matter of fact• in fact• it may be said that• very• really• it is evident that• as is well known• it is noteworthy• the presence of• currently

4. Eliminate unnecessary passive voice.PRO TIP: if you can add the phrase […by zombies] after the verb, and the sentence makes sense, then the sentence is passive voice.

e.g. “It was requested [by zombies] that this memo be submitted to the project leader by 1:00 p.m. today.”

5. Write in “plain English” wherever you can. (Avoid jargon, buzzwords, cliché, and “The Official Style.”)Learned “Official Style” (bureaucratese):

“A romantic relationship is ongoing between Sarah and Bill.” OR “One can easily see that an interactive romantic relationship is currently being fulfilled between Sarah and Bill.”

Why not: “Sarah and Bill are dating.”?

(pp 89-93)

General Principle 2: BE DIRECT.-Eliminate “zombie nouns” (aka nominalizations) where possible.-Replace “vampire verbs” (to be, to have) with more active, specific ones.

6. Make the verbs carry the weight of the sentence.

Cut out “to be” and “to have” as often as possible. Use active, specific verbs instead.

When the interplanting of garlic chives with tomatoes is performed, bacterial wilt is suppressed.

The church had a door that dated back to the 14th century. The door had weather-bleached wood and pitted iron bindings.

FIX:

7. Use the simplest, most active form of the verb.

(pp 674-76)

We are taking forward leapsWe are leaping forward

Many people are resistant to reading on screen Many people resist on-screen reading

The company’s sales figures usually rise substantially in the first quarterCompany sales usually soar in the first quarter

MAKE THESE VERB PHRASES STRONGER AND MORE CONCISE:

• is capable of

• is composed of

• is used to detect

• makes a decision

• makes a measurement of

• performs the development of

8. Replace “zombie nouns” with strong, specific nouns.

If it ends in…-tion -ism-ity -ment-ness -age-ance/ence

-ship

-ability -acy

…it’s probably a “zombie noun.”

efficiency

reliability

attention

relationships

performance

knowledge

functionality

What verbs are at the root of these commonly used “zombie nouns”?RelationImprovementObservationReferenceApplicationDevelopmentConnectionAnalysisUtilizationVariabilityConformity