Post on 30-May-2018
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Blog Entry Jan 2009 to May 18 2009
Entry for 18 May 2009
I was recently sent the following email:
“Posted to Craig's List Personals:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
Downtown Columbus, night before last.
I was the guy with the black Bomber jacket that you
demanded I
hand over , shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my
girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to
apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my
pistol after
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you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
reason that
evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, Chris my wife had
just bought me that Colt Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
Christmas,
and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that
evening.
Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal
of fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with that
brown sludge
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse
since you
also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet
with me. I
couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come
help you try
to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"
as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her
your
situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the
gas
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station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card.
The guy
with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by
Vinnie Van Go
Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at
the curb after I broke the
windshield and side window out and keyed the driver's
side. I called a
bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll
be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just
shut downthe line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day
now, so
I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening
phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it.
The FBI guy
was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he
traced the number).
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
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making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that
you'll
reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might
not be so lucky..
- George
P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite
society!
All you can ever be is yourself. Trying to change yourself
to find, please, or keep a partner is futile since your perfect
mate will love you for yourself, not your attempts to be
your version of his/her ideal. After all, it's just that -- your
version!
OPEN YOUR EYES, LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU. AND
REALLY SEE WHO YOU ARE, AND WHAT YOU
BELIEVE IN!!!! “
Below was my response.
I'm most appreciative of the paragraph at the end about
looking at self. I'm glad I'm not like the letter writer. I can't
say what I'd do if in that situation with those circumstances
since I don't carry a gun. I do know I'm not likely to make
all those calls on the cell phone or use the credit card. No
real telling if it belonged to the mugger and I may have
just been causing more problems for another victim. I
believe since we are energy beings the energy we put outextends beyond us. Often we have a choice to continue the
cycle of fear based in reactive behaviors’ intent on causing
hurt back to those who hurt us. It is very human and
something I'm not over. The other option seems to be the
one Jesus teaches which is to stop the cycle of hurt back.
As God's Son the power was there to take actions to keep
Him from the cross and overpower those seeking to kill
Him. It's clear He knew it was going to happen yet Hemade a conscious effort to choose a path of Love. He
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chose this path as example but more to give each of us
hope that when we fail and act out in anger, fear and
disregard for others that we can be forgiven. So I pray for
both men that they may find forgiveness and grow in
Christ. I lift up all those who seek revenge rather than love
in this world knowing when I look at the log in my eye
that too often it is revenge that is my first response impulse
far too often. I know I can't change others only me. I hope
as I grow in my relation with Christ I can learn to follow
his example. It's strange that as I started my response here
I was motivated by my anger at the original writer’s
reactivity (His get even attitude of superiority even though
he mentions having a wife and girlfriend). As I wrote I felta change come on as I saw myself in him and so I leave
hoping for his healing as I hope for mine.
Ok from here are thoughts specifically for the Blog,
I don’t purport to have all the answers. What I share here
are all part of my search and some of the things I learn.
Here is a short response to someone who asked me how to
get a woman? I read your question with many questions
from my abstract mind. Getting a woman to me implies
ownership. I don’t know how to do that. It is perhaps a lot
of what is wrong in most romantic relationships this idea
that the other belongs to me, a kind of slavery. I when my
wife was alive attempted to have that and all I got was her
pulling away from me. One of my life lessons has been to
learn that by letting go often we get something more or
better. It is kind of a paradox like so many spiritual lessons
seem to have. What I’m saying is just be a human being to
other human beings with care and love and out of that
friendships and relationships seem to grow. I suspect this
is why so many wish to join me as a friend here at 360
even though Yahoo only allows 300 friends. I know if I
had the knowledge of how to personally communicate
with everyone in the best most personal way possible
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within the small space of time I seem to get when I come
here I would make attempts. I’m not a miracle worker, that
is God’s role. I do know I can be myself as best I know
here. So my answer to you is be yourself, know yourself,
open yourself to love as best you can for as you learn to
love yourself as Christ loves you do you learn to love
others. This love seems to be attractive and draws others to
want this something that feels missing in most people’s
lives. I used to think it was missing in mine and why I
used to live a life of depression. The reality is God is
always close by and only our thinking keeps God and
others away.
Entry for 02 May 2009
On Love and Emotions
The following was stimulated by an email to me. I’ve edited out some of the
identifying things to others. The background to this reflection is a discussion
about the role of emotions in our lives and if it of value to hide from them or feel them.
My thoughts:
I too see the need for emotions and feeling them. I've never gotten from the
course (A Course In Miracles) that you block or ignore them. I keep saying
they are signposts as to where we are. We do have the ability once felt to
question them rather than just keeping them going round and round turning
them into story or pain body. The thing is feelings are all temporary yet when
we follow ego we somehow tend to extend feelings into drama keeping certain
ones around longer than need be. Mainly because I suspect we don't learnfrom them when they first come up. Part of the issue is around not looking at
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our beliefs around feelings. We humans tend to judge feelings giving them
positive and negative value. We dislike and attempt to avoid sadness, anger,
envy etc... Most of us seek to happiness as a life goal as if one could walk
around in a permanent state of happiness. Even the Dali Lama wrote a book on
being happy which I suspect many bought with the idea that one can learn to
be happy all the time. When people are interviewed as to what they want fromlife most answers that come back are to being happy. A friend had it right
recently when she said that she is finding peace is with her. Peace is different
than happiness. Peace isn't a feeling it is a state of being and interconnected
with Love which I again say is a decision and not a feeling. (That feeling we
get when we think we are in love is to me not what real Love is. It does have
various emotions attached at those times but (and this is my personal belief)
Real Love is just another name for God and the temporary feeling are things
like Romance, infatuation, feeling warm, feeling close, In the bible St. Paul
shares with the Corinthians the following.
"4 Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited,5 it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or
store up grievances.6 Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth.7 It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure
whatever comes.8 Love never comes to an end. But if there are prophecies, they will be done
away with; if tongues, they will fall silent; and if knowledge, it will be done
away with.9 For we know only imperfectly, and we prophesy imperfectly;10 but once perfection comes, all imperfect things will be done away with.11 When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, and see things as a child does,
and think like a child; but now that I have become an adult, I have finished
with all childish ways.12 Now we see only reflections in a mirror, mere riddles, but then we shall be
seeing face to face. Now I can know only imperfectly; but then I shall know
just as fully as I am myself known.13 As it is, these remain: faith, hope and love, the three of them; and the
greatest of them is love."
http://www.catholic.org/bible/book.php?id=53&bible_chapter=13
When I read this each time I am reminded that none of those things arefeelings but are more connected to a committed decision in spite of what the
so called worldly circumstances appear to be. Now I know I fall short on being
patient in every circumstance but when I am awake and aware I'm more likely
to choose to be patient because I see the outcome I want won't come from
reacting to a temporary feeling. This doesn't mean I don't feel the feeling. I can
still feel hurt, disappointed in another and so on but how I act on those feelings
is where the choice really is. It is interesting that patience thing is also
applicable to me too when I have reacted and ended up not being loving. I do
draw hope in this reading as well because I seem to have an affinity with vs 12
about currently only seeing reflections and not face to face.
This reading is Core with me when I consider Love.
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when I do it. That is just the way things are. I write here often because I learn
from what I write. A Course in Miracle's says we teach what we need to learn.
That certainly has been the case in my blog. Right from the start I've been
learning from all my posts. I've discovered some readers also learn from it and
that is just an extra. I'm very blessed that God seems to use me in that way
from time to time. For awhile there I even got a bit big headed about it all andstarted to to believe some ego hype I was getting about my importance.
Getting back from it has helped me to see that I best write when I'm just
sharing with me even if it is kind of public here. I'm still very aware that some
people will feel that by connecting with me personally they might be able to
shortcut to something they are looking for or gain some kind of insight by
associating with me and perhaps that could happen. In most cases though I
suspect anyone who may have come here and found real growth it is because
they took the thoughts here and did the work and found their own truth which
may not even be related to what I share. I do pray God will help others
through me and so I do write publically but it might be as much through my
bad example as for any positives I might share. God does have a plan for all of us. We can be open and attempt to follow or we can fight and He'll use us
anyhow. Anyhow if you like what you've read there is more of this in past
posts so give it a try as you are more likely to know me better from that than
attempting to have one to one's with me these days. You can try. If I'm in and
something connects because the question is honest and real to me and not just
part of the mass of things I usually get I might respond a few times. There are
very few here I visit regularly anymore. My 3d world is busier but Normal 0
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they actually are reading and want to extend and give back through what their
response is.
As always your real answers are inside you and not externally. Stop listening
to that louder insistent voice of ego/painbody/devil and make space for the
quieter voice of God that whispers how much you are loved. Develop a
relationship with that voice and Christ will be resurrected in your life. Thistime between Easter and the coming of the Holy Spirit is a special time for
many to run into Jesus unexpectedly as He reveals His Presence.
Entry for 01 February 2009
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I’d like to start this post with a reading I was given last Wednesday that
connected something for me.
“Matthew 16, 24-25
Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let
him renounce himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his lifefor my sake will find it.”
What clicked for me was what happens with giving up ego and putting God
first. At some point when we’ve finally gotten tired of being built up and let
down by ego’s ways we can start to make a choice and say know to the worlds
promises of fun, power, control, money, sex and all that entices. When we do
we take up our cross (the difficulty at saying no to provocative ego images that
would have us stay thinking this one last time might give me what I seek in
this worldly experience) It is a cross because we are convinced the answers lay
outside of ourselves and so what is offered is outside and worldly. The second
part then comes in: “Anyone who wants to save his life will lose it.” Think hanging on to worldly pleasure and things outside of self leads only to inner
emptiness eventually and so we lose out because we feel with the question:
What’s it all about? And was it really worth it? The emptiness is death while
even here on earth. “but anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Giving up ego and looking within to find God’s voice speaking and calling
one does lose one’s past life or way of living. What Jesus seemed to be saying
to Nicodemus when asked; How can a grown man be born again? Giving up
the world and ego and seeking God opens us up to Peace with and a deeper
more meaningful life because we start to share a vision based in real Love.
What follows below is a response I posted to friends regarding an incident thatcaused some feelings that immerged. This response is what led me later to the
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above conclusion so share it here to hopefully give some context as to why
that reading meant what it did to me.
Jesus encompassed the law into two. The first was about Loving God totally
with your whole being (to me means being at One with God.)
The second Love your neighbour as yourself . Too many times the sermons
one hears gives the impression that one make the neighbour more
important and when we do it allows ego to exploit our insecurity about
ourselves. When we recognize we are in this and called to also Love
oneself a shift can happen. I'm not talking narcissism here which is ego
based. Allowing the recognition that God Loves me to really mean
something. This is where that other saying: greater Love hath no man
than to lay down his life for another. This can be seen as placing our ego
aside in order to see our oneness with the other. In a way it is a kind of
recognizing the ego in the other and seeing it in self and being willing to
transcend the relationship. Move the relationship to a higher level. Can't
do it till we see what we have been doing and want to try something
different. It also means taking a risk because the other may not be ready
or in the same place. Here's where the forgiveness comes in that Jesus
said when asked how often we forgive? The reply was seventy times seven
times meaning over and over. The one who understands has a
responsibility to be an example of Love.
Few I suspect really see the bigger picture well enough to live at this level.
I'm only just getting an intellectual handle on it as I type and try to think
this through. The action comes when it is ingrained into living I suspect. Itis a part of the person. I suspect this is where authority also comes from
because when it is lived it produces energy and power that gets through
ego much more easily.
I'm optimistic for staying open I see we are being given an opportunity to
transcend a bit as a group. Each of us was doing what we do and the mix
brought up some fear here for each of us to learn from and move through.
No one to me has been good or bad right or wrong; but just sharing and
responding from where we were to what seems to be happening is
bringing us to a new place if we remain open.
Gift of Spirit in human hearts prayer
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It seems the words I wrote to go with this picture aren't posting so in short a
prayer.
May we move from government that forces us to be chairitable to Spirit led
people who share our gifts and talents from God's love recognizing abundance
comes by all sharing and no one coming from fear which only holds us back from doing what is life giving to all including self.
Again to those who try to contact me I get far more contacts than I can share
with individually so please be content with what I share here and know your
answers lay within your own silence listened to with Love and Peace. Find
that and you can be released from fear which only holds you back.
Frank