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BELLWETHERVolume 2 | Issue 4 | Fourth Quarter 2011
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 20112
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© 2011 Centage Corporation. Centage, the Centage logo, Budget Maestro, Planning Maestro, Link Maestro and Analytics Maestro are trademarks or registered trademarks of Centage Corporation. All other brands or products mentioned are registered trademarks of their respective holder(s). All rights reserved.
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Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 20114 Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 20114
It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miser-able man. ~Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
se
ct
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s Letter from the Editor 5
Leadership 6
Sales and Marketing 10
Cover Story 12
Book Report 16
Customer Relationships 18
Industry News 19
Customer Story 24
Human Resources 26
6
8
26
12
22
55bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadershipbell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
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LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR
BELLWETHERA Blytheco, LLC Magazine
Volume 2Fourth Quarter, 2011
www.blytheco.comwww.bellwethermagazine.com
STAFFEDITORApryl Hanson
CREATIVE DIRECTORGreg Went
CONTRIBUTING WRITERSAlicia AndersonSteve GeskeHoward HansenApryl HansonJeff Johnson, CPA and Tom Siders, CPABrian KellyNicole Laurier Mike Marino, Ph.D.Lt. Col. Rob ‘Waldo’ WaldmanDawn WesterbergGeni Whitehouse
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Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 20116
LEADERSHIP
With all of the “communication” out there about communication,
with all of the articles, books and 3-ring workshop binders, what
if there was a secret dynamic that all of them have been missing?
What if that secret was so fundamental to every relationship
that understanding it would revolutionize your understanding
of communication and completely transform your relationships
both business and personal?
As it turns out, there is such a secret. And though it takes a
lifetime to learn to use it fully, understanding the basic dynamic
behind all relationships and all communication is fairly simple.
Communication Skills - a “Virtual” Reality
The first step in understanding this secret dynamic is to
open your mind about what you’ve been taught about
communication so far. You’ve been taught that communication
is a straightforward, logical process of cause and effect.
Rooted in common language and standardized meanings,
communication has been presented as a skill in producing
shared meaning. Pay attention to definitions, syntax and the
organization of ideas, take into account cultural, gender and
generational differences, toss in a few neurological studies
and rapport skills and you’ve got your basic recipe. When “the
bubble” over the other person’s head matches “the bubble”
over your head, you’ve been successful.
Communication is presented much like learning to play billiards.
You learn some basic rules of physics. You learn to predict the
outcome of certain trajectories and interactions. You learn the
cause and effect rules of the billiard balls so you can plan your
next shot on the table. Once you’ve sunk all the balls on the
table and taken care of the 8-ball, you win!
But what if all that you’ve learned was not the whole story? What
if all these observations and rules only represented a “virtual”
reality? (like the Matrix!) What if there was a whole other reality
behind what you’ve been doing that changes all the rules?
What if it turned out that in your game of “communication
pool,” someone secretly replaced the cue ball with one made
of steel and then placed magnets under the table?
The “Hidden Level of Communication Reality”
As it turns out, the process of communication is far more
complex than what we have been led to believe. For over 20
years now, theorists in a field called “Family Systems Theory”
have been uncovering the hidden reality behind the reality in
which we have been operating. These theorists have learned
that communication is not a logical process; it is an emotional
process. They have learned that communication is not linear
cause and effect. You can’t control outcomes by controlling the
input. They have uncovered a reality behind the virtual reality
and hidden “rules” that operate quite differently from what we
normally expect. In the same way physicists have discovered a
quantum reality with its own rules that makes up our universe,
these theorists have discovered a quantum level of reality with
its own rules that is hidden behind the level we observe with
our five senses. To continue our billiards metaphor, they have
discovered the “magnets” under the table of communication.
So what is this reality that underlies the “virtual” reality within
which we have all been tying to operate? What are the rules?
What makes up the “underside of the table” regarding our
behavior and our relationships?
Have you ever found yourself baffled and frustrated by someone’s inability to understand your point of view? Have you ever found
yourself driven to order the latest book or attend the latest seminar in an attempt to improve your communication skills? Of course you have.
What the Experts Couldn’t Tell You about Communication, Relationships and Creating Change
Steve Geske is President and Co-founder of the consulting firm Healing Leaders, whose mission is “To develop enlightened leaders through self awareness, resourceful responsiveness and authentic presence.” He is a frequent author and speaker on the topic of leadership development. Learn more about Steve at www.healingleaders.com
About the Author
LEADERSHIP
7bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
The “Magnets” Under the Table
As it turns out, this reality is not logical. It is emotional. By
“emotional”, we don’t mean happy or sad stuff. I’m not
talking about our emotions. We are talking instead about
the set of instincts developed through thousands of years
of evolution that motivate our most basic behaviors. These
include the flight or fight response, the herding response
(yes, we are a herding species) and the shortcuts that have
been hardwired into our brains causing us to act first and
then make up the logical reason for acting a millisecond
AFTER we have responded.
Neurological research demonstrates that logical choice and
volition are primarily an illusion created by our conscious
awareness. We have the impression that we make many
conscious choices each day. Some of us believe those
choices are mostly ruled by logic. The research indicates
otherwise. Muscle responses can be observed moving
an arm or a finger BEFORE conscious awareness of any
decision to do so. While conscious intention and choice are
possible, in fact, most of us are running on automatic pilot
during most of the day. Our brains are creating the fiction
we call “choice.” We are emotional beings operating on
these well established internal programs
The automatic, non-logical, emotional character of our
inner selves presents a challenge to communication and
the way we behave in relationship to each other. One
basic premise, proposed by Family Systems theory, is that
a relationship between two people will always contain
a certain level of anxiety and over time, this builds up
and threatens the relationship. In order to stabilize the
relationship, these two people subconsciously collude
in redirecting the anxiety between them towards a third
person, entity or idea. This means that the basic unit of
all relationships is not two but three. This unit of three is
called an “Emotional Triangle.” Emotional triangles (ET’s)
make up the “magnets under the table” in the game of
relationships and communication. Emotional Triangles
make up the crucial dynamic that has likely been frustrating
your best efforts “on top of the table” as you try to “line
up your shots” in attempting to communicate with others.
Below is a brief tutorial:
Emotional Triangles
ET’s are a way to understand how relationships REALLY
operate. They provide a reliable “map” that is an alternative
to relying on linear, cause and effect understandings of
relationships based on the social science model of reality.
An Emotional Triangle understands that relationships
are ALWAYS in threes. There is always at least one other
person, entity or thing that makes up the third element in
a relationship.
The Third Element
Almost anything can make up the third element in an
Emotional Triangle. It can be:
• A person
• A role
• A belief
• An addiction
• A neurosis or a fear
Positions within an Emotional Triangle
Emotional Triangles have two “positions.”
1. Inside - containing two people, or one person and a
thing or entity. This position is always shared and feels
comfortable and safe. It is the position we instinctively
prefer and seek in all our behaviors.
2. Outside - containing one other person, thing or entity.
This position feels anxious and threatening. Instinctively,
we avoid the outside position
Emotional Triangles - Illustrated
Emotional Triangles are evident in all relationships. An
example can be seen in the relationships of children -
especially girls.
Observe, Mary and Jane on the playground. They are best
friends forever (“BFFs”). They like the same clothes, music,
pop stars but unfortunately, the same boy. Now that’s
a problem because it threatens their “BFF” status and
creates anxiety between them. What are they to do?
Unconsciously, to help stabilize their friendship, they start
whispering about Suzie behind her back. They make fun of
the way she looks and acts. They tease her, Suzie gets mad
at both of them.
BFF status secured! Mary and Jane’s friendship is now
tighter because of a common enemy without having to
address the fact that they both like the same boy.
“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
Continued on page 30
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 20118
SALES&MARKETING
Having no radio contact at 20,000 feet and separated from my fellow pilots by 10 miles on a night combat mission in hostile territory was a dire situation. What if I lost my engine or was engaged by ground fire? How could I call for help? Without my radio, I felt very vulnerable. If I didn’t get checked in, I would have to abort the mission and head back to base.
Suddenly my back-up VHF radio blared with the terse sound of my flight lead, “2, come up 239.9.” I breathed a sigh of relief and immediately changed frequency. “Vipers, check-in, confirm master-arm hot!” We acknowledged his call on the radio in a crisp, monotone cadence, “2, 3, 4.”
I flipped the master arm switch to the “hot” position and readied my weapons. My wingmen and I were now one synchronized formation, with a clear flight plan and a mission objective that had been delivered in our pre-mission briefing. Our radios and radar linked us together. We were ready for battle.
Communication in combat is essential to successfully execute a plan. It ensures safety, keeps everyone focused on their responsibilities, and builds awareness in rapidly changing environments.
In order to communicate effectively in the heat of battle, fighter pilots:
1. Brief the mission in order to establish objectives, delegate responsibilities, analyze threats, and review contingency plans.
2. Establish a communication (“comm”) game plan which confirms when and where to change frequencies.
3. Ensure positive two-way communication is
established during critical elements of a mission.
4. Brief a back-up plan in case communication fails (known as “radio-out” procedures).
5. Debrief every mission to review lessons learned and reinforce training.
When the heat is on and adversity strikes, how do
y o u communicate with your team? Do you have a “comm plan” with your employees, colleagues, and customers? Are you taking the time to brief your missions to ensure all your wingmen are on the same wave length and understand their roles, responsibilities, and objectives? Finally, are you aware of those who might be on the wrong frequency or off course? If so, what’s your plan to get them back on target?
Checking in with your wingmen, listening to their questions, and understanding their challenges are fundamental components of teamwork and leadership. They are the cornerstones in building an environment of mutual support and trust, especially in rapidly changing, competitive environments.
Want to communicate better with your team? Try out these communication “wingtips” and watch the impact they have on your organization.
1. Have a ‘mass briefing’ at least once a month. Gather your troops and communicate the latest
wo long minutes passed since I last changed radio frequencies. We were approaching the Iraqi border and my flight lead still had not checked me
in. I was getting nervous.
by Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman (The Wingman)
9bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
trends, organizational goals, sales updates, and product upgrades etc. Your wingmen need to hear important news (both good and bad) from you first. This is also a great time to publicly recognize your top performers.
2. Conduct feedback sessions on a consistent basis. Sit down with your wingmen and let them know how they are doing. Are they meeting your expectations? Ask about their goals and challenges and how you can help. Then solicit feedback on you as a leader. What could you be doing better? What would they like to see from you? Avoid letting your ego get in the way of their feedback.
3. Walk the flight line. Get your hands dirty with your wingmen. Spend time with them on the job and observe how they do business. Ask questions. Show them your appreciation by connecting with them as people first and employees second.
4. De-brief your missions. Remove your ‘rank’ and conduct a nameless, blameless, and rank-less de-brief after every critical mission. Find out if objectives were met and analyze why they weren’t. Search for trends and communicate these to the rest of your organization.
Your aim when communicating should be to create an environment where others can come to you for help. Try to listen as much as possible in order to build what’s known as Situational Awareness (SA). SA is a comprehensive understanding of the mission, your surroundings, and the variables that can affect its
execution. The greater your SA, the greater your ability to solve problems, handle contingencies, and adapt to change.
So, make it a priority to check in and stay in communication with your team. It’s one of the most important things you can do as a leader to build situational awareness and trust. For if you fail to check in with your wingmen, they’re likely to check out.
About the author:Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman (The Wingman ) is the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Never Fly Solo. A leadership speaker and consultant, his clients include HP, Verizon, Aflac, Nokia and New York Life and he’s been featured on CNN, Fox News, The Harvard Business Review and MSNBC. To learn more about Waldo and his programs and to download his Top Gun Sales Team white paper, visit www.YourWingman.com or call 1-866-925-3616.
LEADERSHIP
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201110
SALES&MARKETING
by Alicia Anderson
Early in the hiring process, review the job posting to be
sure it’s still relevant for your business. Map out what you
are looking for in a salesperson, and write down some
potential interview questions. Having a few qualifications
in mind will help you weed out resumes.
Take a look at your buyer. If your decision-maker is a
highly technical manager, you need a salesperson that can
get very deep technically. If your buyer is more of a CEO, a
candidate with experience meeting with executives will be
a good fit. Match your sales team to your buyers.
Listen and watch for clues. Did the candidate research
your business before the interview? If not, will they be
equally unprepared for the meeting with your prospect? Is
their resume clear, persuasive, and free of errors? If not, will
they carry a similarly sloppy proposal out to your prospect?
Seek energy and positivity. Both are important to success
in sales. Selling can be disheartening and draining, but
the good salesperson is persistent, with the ability to look
at themselves, their companies, and their industries with
optimism and perseverance.
Training salespeople
There are two types of sales training: the basic mechanics of
selling, and specific training on your company or products.
Hopefully most of your team is familiar with the mechanics,
but helping them sell your product or company will require
a few important steps:
Set expectations very clearly. What will it take for your
new salesperson to achieve success at your company? The
more details you can provide about what you expect, the
easier time a salesperson will have managing their time
and resources to achieve those goals.
Let them learn from others. Have them ride along with
more experienced salespeople. Let them spend time
with the customer service representatives. Expose the
new salesperson to team members who know what they
are doing – this will help them learn the language and
processes of your company.
Have regular one-on-one meetings with your reps.
This is some of the most important time you can spend
with your sales team. Individual representatives need
time with you that is structured and consistent to go over
their specific deals and challenges. This gives the two of
you time to work on how to strategically approach certain
deals and work on how to win. Here the salesperson can
be more vulnerable and let you know how it is going for
them personally without having other sales team members
involved. Keep this a safe place for them, and a way to
encourage growth and learning.
Keep it up. Training should not end for ANY of your staff
after the first few weeks of employment. Make learning an
ongoing part of your company culture. It keeps your team
energized and challenged, which means greater results for
your business.
You want to grow your company, and your sales team is critical to enabling that growth, right? But
hiring good salespeople is tough for two reasons: 1) great salespeople are always in demand so the market is always tight, even when economic times are tough; and 2) salespeople are really good at selling themselves, so they can tell you what you want to hear. It’s your job to be prepared.
11bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
What may be helpful is if we think of that person, sitting
in their home or office. What are they going through right
now? What are they experiencing? AND what will they type
into Google?
This may sound like a strange way to go about designing
your web pages and content. But the user experience is
what we should be trying to understand and develop our
pages based on the content they are looking for.
Let’s take a simple example. I love cooking. I’m working
away in the kitchen while preparing a meal; I’m moving too
fast and accidentally smash my finger in a cabinet drawer.
It hurts, but I have no idea how much I’ve injured myself. I
ignore it and keep cooking. I wake up in the middle of the
night, my finger now swollen and throbbing. What do I do?
I turn on my computer to research what???
Do I search for a “solution,” which might be a splint, a
bandage, or aspirin?
Or, do I search for my problem, like “how to determine if
you have a broken finger” or “broken finger” or “sprained
finger”?
Here’s a hint – most users are going to start with their
problem.
Most of our websites are calibrated to show up based on
solution-related information, like aspirin. Unfortunately,
very few people search on this type of key word. Sure,
aspirin is popular, people know what it is and a certain
number of people will search on that. What I’m suggesting
is that while you must have product-related information out
there, you can’t ignore the fact that there is an entirely large
population that isn’t finding what you’re selling.
Suggestion:
Run a brainstorming session inside your organization
to come up with as many searches people might use on
Google to look for what you’re selling. You can even turn it
into a contest. Research how often people are using these
terms and phrases and incorporate new pages into your
website that talk specifically talk to those issues.
Somehow along the way, with the web being invented and completely changing our sales process, we have forgotten that we are still selling to people who are trying to solve a problem. There is value in solving that problem and people are willing to
exchange money for that solution. Yet, we’ve created mounds and mounds of content sitting upon pages and pages of the web describing a product that doesn’t really address a problem at all.
by Apryl Hanson
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201112
COVERSTORY
by Howard Hansen
Fewer questions we ask in private conversations or public dialogue with leaders create more surprise than this
one: “How much time (as a boss) do you spend with the least mature people in your business?”
Sometimes we ask this question when speaking with
groups who consist mostly of business owners, managers
and leaders. We purposely use the term “least mature”
because we have come to believe that performance
problems in companies are nearly always demonstrated
in those who not only have fundamental disconnects with
the organization’s values, but also possess lower levels of
emotional maturity. By raising hands, audiences usually
indicate more than half of their number spend “more than
fifty percent of their time working with employees whose
performance is below acceptable standards.”
When raising their hands, some audience members look
like they are ready to be complimented on their dedication
to coaching higher performance from those who most need
it. We change that expectation when we reply, “What if you
spent that much more time with your best performers”?
Why is this so? Leaders have been taught to believe in the
following thinking:
• Efforts to improve substandard performance are likely to improve group aggregate performance.
• Identifying poor performance and “turning people around” is one of the sacred responsibilities in every leadership position description. It may invoke a high score on the leader’s performance review from her boss.
• Performance review systems mandate spotting low performance and documenting efforts to improve it.
• High performers don’t need much attention. They are self-proficient and self-sufficient.
• It’s a good path to becoming a Leader Hero, one who appears to care deeply about the positive contributions and
success of everyone.
All this is largely myth.
Experience shows efforts to
improve others’ performance,
particularly in those whose
performance is impaired by their
own emotional immaturity, creates
almost no R.O.I. Most managers and
leaders tell us that, despite their best intentions
and large investments of time, the likelihood of
turning immature team members into adequate
performers is slim and turning them into star
performers is none. As a result, more than half of
leaders’ time is often spent on non-productive efforts.
All the while, those who are depended upon to produce
critical results get less time from their leaders. This is
considered acceptable since these high performers appear
to be on performance auto-pilot. When our audience
members consider what they might do to stimulate even
13bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
higher performance from the best, had they more time
available for them, our listeners surprise themselves with
new ideas.
Performance reviews, long the bane of managers who dread
the responsibility of undertaking them, contribute to this
problem of paying attention to the immature. Performance
review systems were designed to equip managers with a tool
to constructively address poor performance and, with any
luck, influence an improvement in that performance.
We argue that performance reviews
worsen the time-with-the-immature
ratio by consuming more energy from
leaders and placing its focus on the
usually irredeemable performer.
Performance reviews are conducted
through emotional prisms. As
time for review discussions
draw close, both managers
and employees began
to dread the meeting.
During review meetings,
awkward and sometimes fearful
defensiveness prevails, despite
the best intentions of managers
to make it positive, look to the
future and offer development
assistance. The result is poorer
preparation and uninspired
delivery of feedback. Those who
measure aggregate organizational
improvement wonder whether so much
effort for so little gain is worth the cost.
Who are the least mature?
They can be identified by characteristics
offered by Edwin Friedman:
• High reactivity; the tendency to intensely react to challenges and crisis which others take in stride and manage with calm rationality.
• Herding; the movement of the emotionally susceptible to gather together, communicate with high anxiety, over define problems and avoid creative efforts to find best solutions.
• Blame displacement; a focus on personal victimization by believing challenge and uncomfortable moments and environments are created by others.
• Quick fix mentality; the process of rapidly selecting a solution – any nearby and available solution (often the first one considered) – to quickly dispose the uncomfortable existence of an anxiety producing problem.
The least mature (or more immature) in any group,
including families, tie up energy resources. They are
eager to create a negative presence. We have come
to call these people, “step up transformers”. Neutrally
anxious energy goes in. Highly anxious energy comes
out. The net outcome is leaders’ energy levels are
reduced along with the capacity to focus on creative work.
About Howard Hansen: Howard Hansen is a principal with the consulting
firm Healing Leaders, whose mission is “To develop
enlightened leaders through self awareness, resourceful
responsiveness and authentic presence.” He is a
frequent author and speaker on the topic of leadership
development.
Learn more about Howard at www.healingleaders.com.
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201114
Walt Disney once said “you can dream, build
and create the most wonderful place possible
– but people make it happen” … he was right! Your
company’s greatest asset is its people. According
to the National Institute of Health, half the workers
in America, 51%, will have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder
during their lifetime. Your workplace is filled with people who are
wrestling with stress, anger, anxiety and depression. In fact, anxiety is the
leading mental health issue in the United States closely followed by mood
disorders like depression.
Statistics from a recent study done at Harvard Medical School, published in The
Journal of the American Medical Association, revealed the average person with
depression and anxiety issues can’t work or do normal activity for 5 weeks in a
year – comparing with just 15 days for diabetes or hypertension. Employed
adults with major depression lose about 8 hours of productivity a week on
the job. Depression alone costs US employers about $31 billion annually in
productivity, not counting disability leave payments.
Depression and anxiety sap energy, cause problems with concentration,
memory and decision-making. Supervisors or managers are
extraordinarily impaired because the nature of their work is to – make
decisions! And, the personal and financial costs escalate still further if
a worker’s untreated depression and anxiety contribute to alcohol or
drug abuse.
Sadly, only half the people needing treatment are getting any and many
of those receiving treatment are still struggling. Frankly, what we’re
doing these days isn’t working very well. The use of anti-depressant
medications in the United States doubled from 1996 to 2005. Smart
employers are beginning to seek expert assistance for their
employees, helping them balance their
lives from biological, psychological,
social and spiritual
perspectives.
by Mike Marino, Ph.D.
COVERSTORY
15bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
Dr. Marino has an extensive background in communications and mental healthcare, hosting a
nationally-syndicated call-in radio program for 5 years and directing an in-patient psychiatric
hospital. He has also served as Corporate VP at the world-renowned Amen Clinics and has
presided over a nationwide network of over 600 mental health clinicians. Information about his
Managing Workplace Stress and Conflict seminars can be found at www.TheADbootcamp.com.
If stress could be defined as overburdening an existing
structure or capacity, in general, humans have more stress
today than at any time in history. We have more sensory
input today than ever before. One Hundred years ago our
two primary sources of information and communication
were speech and written materials like books, mail and
newspapers. The came the light bulb, movies, radio,
telephones, TV, faxes, computers, the Internet, e-mail, cell
phones, texting, Facebook, Twitter and who knows what
instant communication method lies ahead? All the modern
conveniences that were supposed to make life easier have
also increased the pace and sensory overload of life. Your
employees likely have their stress cup filled to overflowing
before they even arrive at work!
Companies are finding that when they help their people
– productivity increases, the bottom line is better and
everyone sees the difference in the work environment.
Small changes in developing an employee’s thinking
patterns, relationship skills, healthy diet and exercise habits
can make a huge difference in defeating workplace stress,
conflict and apathy.
Investing in employee in-service training for stress
management, offering incentives for participation in
structured exercise programs and providing professional
counseling through an Employee Assistance Program have
proven to be winning strategies for building a vibrant,
productive workforce.
Looking for tell-tale signs of discouraged and overwhelmed
employees can save your company a lot of money, grief,
time and turnover. Depressed and anxious employees
typically show signs of…
• Sleep deprivation
• Sadness
• Loss of interest in life
• Low energy
• Poor concentration
• Changes in appetite
• Either slowness of movement or fidgety physical affect
• Dark thoughts and talk
Teaching your supervisors to watch intently for signs of
emotional and mental strain will ultimately make them
better and more productive leaders. It’s imperative that
supervisors develop and maintain an open and honest
dialogue with employees … one that centers on active
listening. This is not the time for a supervisor to give
direction, but rather to listen intently to how the employee
answers key questions like…
• How are you doing?
• What are you feeling?
• What are you thinking?
• What is helping you here and what is not?
This opens the door for pro-active intervention that will
ultimately yield more productivity, better performance
and higher company morale. For example, you may
discover your employee cafeteria serves mostly high-fat,
high-calorie foods which are counter-productive to quality
brain function and overall energy and health. You can
make a change there painlessly and the message to your
employees is – we care about you!
Offering free wellness classes to your employees is another
great way to build your bottom line. Most community
health centers have exercise, yoga and stress management
teachers who would be pleased to come to your place
of business and lead a class for a nominal fee. Again,
the message is – you are not just an employee, you are a
person to us.
When your employees have better lives, they are better
employees! Investing in their emotional, psychological and
physical success pays dividends in every way – you won’t be
disappointed!
About the Author
by Mike Marino, Ph.D.
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201116
by Geni WhitehouseBOOKREPORT
Drive : The surprising truth about what motivates us | Daniel H. Pink
Most traditional businesses use one of two approaches to motivate their employees – reward or
punishment. In this book, Daniel Pink offers research to prove that neither of these methods are successful
in the long run. He examines a number of interesting scenarios from late pickup fees at Daycare, to the
candle problem as evidence of failed motivational schemes. Once Pink finishes tearing down the old
“Type X or Extrinsic” reward systems, he teaches us how to construct “Type I or Intrinsic” motivational
environments. In order to give people Intrinsic rewards, he says they must have autonomy over “their
task, time, technique, and team. “ By the end of the book, you will want to reconsider all aspects of your
compensation and reward systems.
Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul | Stuart Brown, M.D.
Most business people associate game playing with non-work time. Stuart Brown is out to change that
mistaken impression. Brown illustrates the value of play in “sparking curiosity and alert observation.” He
talks about the developmental importance of child’s play and play’s positive impact on brain development
in children and adults. He shows how play gives people distance from a problem so they can identify a new
solution. Rather than advocating for a game of Angry Birds at every desktop, Brown suggests starting with
physical activities and then finding a way to tap into whatever activity gives you joy. He puts the impetus
on individual employees to find aspects of their job that allow them to play and explore while staying true
to themselves. Just don’t buy the book as justification for that new office pool table you’ve been wanting
to purchase.
Six Thinking Hats | Edward De Bono
Edward De Bono calls thinking “the ultimate human resource.” In his book, “Six thinking
Hats” he offers a methodology that helps individuals and teams think more clearly. He uses a
metaphor of different colored hats to separate different types of thinking. A white
hat represents a neutral perspective and is mainly concerned with facts
while the red hat represents an emotional perspective. De Bono says the
red hat allows a thinker to say “ This is how I feel about ...” By walking
individuals through a discussion of ideas or topics one brightly colored hat
at a time, De Bono frees people from their limited perspective and forces
them to consider an issue from six different angles. The book is step by step
guide to using his methods in every situation imaginable and will
forever change the way you approach brainstorming.
Human resources are one of the most valuable forms of business capital. But people require constant care and support. These
books address three important aspects of working with people – how to motivate, entertain, and inspire them to become the
kinds of creative thinkers who can excel in today’s businesses.
A self-proclaimed nerd, former technology executive and CPA firm partner, Geni Whitehouse has made it her mission to eliminate boring from the world of presentations. The author of “How to Make a Boring Subject Interesting: 52 Ways Even a Nerd Can Be Heard,” Geni believes her mission as a presenter is to understand a subject well enough to approach it from an angle that will not only educate her audiences—but will resonate with them. Learn more at www.evenanerd.com.
About Geni Whitehouse
17bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
The goal is for you to fall in love with your business again.
Begin a process of fun work with the purpose of awesome results.
Marketing StrategyMarketing Plan and CalendarCampaign Development Marketing MetricsContent DevelopmentPublic RelationsSocial Media
www.dawnwesterberg.com
Geni WhitehouseSPEAKER AUTHOR
CONSULTANT NERDShe’s been called the “comedian CPA.” A self-proclaimed nerd, experienced software executive and former CPA firm partner, Geni Whitehouse has made it her mission to eliminate boring from the world of presentations.
STRATEGYEXECUTIONEVANGELISMCONTENT DEVELOPMENT
www.evenanerd.com
BOOKREPORT
www.bellwethermagazine.com/ads
(wanna advertise in Bellwether? drop us a line)
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201118
Host a user group
If it’s appropriate for your business, consider getting
your customers together to talk about your product or
service. Offer learning opportunities or helpful resources
and encourage them to share ideas with each other.
Encourage them to connect with each other and expand
their own networks. Who knows, you might even get a
great new idea from your group!
Start an advisory board
When it comes to buying behaviors for your company, your
customers are the experts. Invite your best customers to
participate in an advisory board. Have regular meetings
(quarterly is fine) where you run new ideas by them or
get their feedback on previous concepts. Their input will
usually surprise and revitalize you, and client rapport will
be strengthened because you respected them enough
to ask for it.
Create loyalty programs and rewards
Everybody wants to feel special. Your customers are
special, so create exclusive programs and offers for your
loyal customers. Maybe it’s a “frequent buyer” card
with a free gift or product after a certain buying limit is
reached, or new and unique content that no one else has
access to. Segment your customers to find out who your
repeat buyers are, and reward them.
Use social media
Too many times, the job of “customer service” is
relegated to front-line staff – the call center team or
salespeople. Social media can help get everyone in your
business – executives, HR staff, and managers – on the
“front line” with your customers, so that everyone can
understand more clearly what it takes to serve customers
well and meet their needs.
The bottom line is this: you cannot understand how to move your business forward until you understand your customers. Here are
some good ways your business can listen to customers more effectively, while at the same time creating a feeling of community among customers.
CUSTOMERRELATIONSHIPS
These tools can also help you sell your business to prospective customers. When they see how much time and energy you spend creating customer communities, it reassures them that they will be well cared for when they choose to do business with you.
by Alicia Anderson
19bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
With the advent of social media, you can no longer hope
to sweep the problems with customer service under a
‘virtual rug’. If a customer has a problem with a company
you can be sure that they will post about it on Twitter,
Facebook, Google+, anywhere to let others know about
their dissatisfaction. Larger companies with a strong social
media presence who are watching all relevant feeds can
jump in and handle the problem.
However, small and medium-sized businesses can’t always
be monitoring social media - they don’t have the time or
the personnel, they need to run their business and ensure
they get sales. So what can they do to ensure they always
give great customer service?
Customers using Business Process Management
technologies report that by automating customer service
requests, they are able to ensure that they can respond
immediately and automatically to a problem and put tracking
procedures in place so that the problem is monitored and
resolved in a timely fashion to the customer’s satisfaction.
Business Process Management applications ‘loosely
couple’ business applications enabling organizations to
automate virtually any employee-driven business process.
They usually include features like automated alerts,
automated web content publishing, document automation,
workflow and routing requests, and data services and
integration. They use data within existing systems to make
manual processes more automated and bring important
information to light.
For example, one company’s customer service
representatives were being swamped with a repetitive
manual process. Their customers were going to their
website and registering to receive containers for recycling.
The registrations were arriving by email and the customer
service representatives had to manually rekey the
information into their CRM system.
They used a BPM tool to set up a series of tasks to
automate the entire process. The emails now come in from
the website and automatically generate a customer service
ticket in the system. A notification of the order is sent to the
appropriate customer service representative. If the email
is from an existing customer, the refill request is recorded
onto their account. If they are new customer, an account
is automatically created and the order details recorded.
Additionally the task sends out confirmations and thank
you messages to the customers for their orders.
Since this automation process has been in
production, the customer service representatives
have been able to focus on real customer service
issues and are much more efficient.
The question is ‘what do
you want to automate?
What manual processes
are burdening your staff,
slowing down response
time, and inhibiting great
customer service?
Good customer service has always been a key component to the success of any business. In the past if you didn’t treat a customer well it didn’t necessarily
matter because new customers might not hear about the poor customer service until they experienced a problem themselves.
About the Author
Nicole Laurier is VP of Sales and Marketing at Fisher Technology, the North
American distributor for TaskCentre authored by Orbis Software. Follow Nicole
on Twitter at @nicolelaurier.
INDUSTRYNEWS
by Nicole Laurier
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201120
by Jeff Johnson, CPA and Tom Siders, CPA
INDUSTRYNEWS
Serving customers and growing the business. For many people in your shoes, those are the two tenets that drive most decisions. That’s great, but you also need to factor in where you’re headed,
right?
You will leave your business. It may not be today or tomorrow. It may not be by choice, but you will leave your business. Do you have a plan for that? When you leave, what would that look like? If something tragic happens and your exit is unexpected, what happens to the business? What effect
will it have on your family? A plan not only provides context and the basis for adapting to unanticipated events, it also provides alternatives based on assumptions about your goals, objectives and resources that may need revision.
Unfortunately, even owners who have great business plans often fly without Exit Plans. If an unanticipated event arises (such as a deterioration in the economy), they shelve their exit plan thinking (and thinking is all they have since they haven’t created a written plan) because their only option is to wait for conditions to improve. These successful owners would never consider a similar passive response to be acceptable in a business plan.
If the importance of an exit plan isn’t obvious yet, consider this:
First, according to a PricewaterhouseCoopers’ survey of 364 CEOs of privately held, fast-growing companies, 65% planned to exit within a decade. Translation: there may be a glut of companies on the market which may drive down the value of your firm.
Second, if you’re a Baby Boomer, the generation following you is smaller in size so expect far more sellers than buyers in
the marketplace.
Third, even during boom times less than half of the owners who have tried to sell their business actually were able to accomplish it
(2005 Business Reference Guide, Tom West).
“Begin with the End In Mind.” -Stephen Covey, speaker and author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
21bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
INDUSTRYNEWSFourth, if you choose to wait for a rising tide in the economy and the M&A market to exit, you’ll lose control of the timing of your exit, how much and the terms of payment you’ll receive, and even the type of buyer.
Exit planning is what we mean by working on, not just in, your business, and it pays off long before you leave. The process of creating a plan involves determining the firm’s current value, the factors that may have the biggest impact on future value, your financial needs and taking time to consider what different exit options might look like. These are all factors that can, and should, play a role in your day-to-day decision-making, providing one more tenet to guide you.
When you begin with the end in mind, you’ll know what to do when you get there, despite the glut of sellers, dearth of buyers, volatility of the market, and the myriad of known and unknown influences on your business.
One of the most successful entrepreneurs and planners in American history, John Pierpoint Morgan, said, “The wise man bridges the gap by laying out the path by means of which he can get from where he is to where he wants to go.”
Jeff Johnson and Tom Siders are CPAs and partners with L. Harris Partners. Jeff and Tom each have over 30 years experience in successfully helping business owners plan for and transition out of their business. You can reach them at LHarrisPartners.com or (952) 944-3303.
About the Authors
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www.SierraWS.com(800) 822-0973
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201122
Who can take advantage of these tax credits?
For profit companies in the United States, i.e. C, S and
LLC’s can all apply these tax credits to their Federal Tax
Liability. Because non-profits and municipalities don’t pay
taxes, they would not qualify. In addition, some states
have also started similar programs to provide incentives to
employers hiring.
The WOTC tax credit is renewed by congress every few years.
CMS, LLC’s Brian Kelly explains “The Work Opportunity Tax
Credit is not going away. If anything, we see the program
expanding with the current high unemployment rate,
expansion to hire more veterans, expansion to Natural
Disaster Zone(s) and possible US Territories.”
Just recently in August 2011, President Obama announced
an initiative for employers to hire 100,000 unemployed
veterans by 2013, the “Returning Heroes Tax Credit”.
This initiative will offer participating companies a $2,400
tax credit for hiring short-term unemployed veterans. The
White House also put on the table for Congress to approve
an additional tax credit incentive of $4,800 to companies
hiring service members who have faced unemployment for
six months or longer.
Per Brian Kelly, the president of CMS, LLC, an organization
that provides a full processing service for WOTC, the
average tax credit is $2,400 per qualified new hire, $4,800
for each new disabled veteran hire, and $9,000 for each
new long-term TANF recipient hired (over a 2 year period).
On average, 10-15% of the workforce may be qualified. If
In these challenging times, here is a way to save money, with Work Opportunity Tax Credits. “WOTC” is a federal program designed to promote the hiring of individuals who qualify as a
member of a target group with barriers to employment (see Qualifying Groups on next page). Employers participating in the program can receive a Federal Tax Credit (typically $2,400.00) for each qualified employee, which can be used to reduce your company’s federal income tax liability.
INDUSTRYNEWS
by Brian Kelly
you have 15 qualified new hires per year, that translates
into potential savings of $36,000. “I don’t know anyone
who would turn that down in this economy,” said Kelly.
“Saving money is making money.”
Why aren’t companies taking advantage of this
program?
CMS finds most companies are not aware of this federal
tax credit, or if they are familiar with the program, they
don’t have the resources or don’t want to ask the sensitive
questions needed to acquire the tax credits. That’s exactly
the reason many companies outsource this function to
CMS. CMS performs the screening process of each new
hire and thus protects the employer from any sensitive
situations and shields them from a liability standpoint.
Qualified Employees
The WOTC qualified employee will be a member of a
qualifying group, and must work at least 120 hours for the
employer. If the employee works between 121 and 399
hours, the employer could receive a partial credit of 25%
of their wages up to $6,000.
To obtain a maximum credit of $2,400 the WOTC-certified
employee must work a minimum of 400 hours or 180 days
of service for the employer. There is no limit to how many
qualifying new hires your company can have.
Brian Kelly is the President of Cost Management Services (CMS) and has over 25 years experience in the Employee
Management industry. CMS has been providing employment tax credit “WOTC” processing services for over 15
years for companies of all sizes, including several large CPA companies, across the United States. Follow Brian on
Twitter @cmsbrian or visit his website at www.cmshris.com
About the Author
23bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
by Brian Kelly
• Long-term TANF recipient -- member of a family that received Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) for at least 18 consecutive months ending on the hiring date, or a member of a family that received TANF for any 18 months beginning after August 5, 1997, and the earliest 18-month period, beginning after August 5, 1997, ended during the past 2 years ending on the hiring date, or whose family stopped being eligible for TANF because Federal or state law limited the maximum time those payments could be made, and the individual is hired not more than 2 years after such eligibility ended.
• Other TANF recipient - member of a family that received TANF payments for any 9 months during the 18-month period ending on the hiring date.
• Veteran – member of a family that received Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits (food stamps) for at least a 3-month period during the 15-month period ending on the hiring date, or a disabled veteran entitled to compensation for a service-connected disability hired within one year of discharge or release from active duty or unemployed for a period or periods totaling at least 6 months of the year ending on the hiring date.
• 18-39 year-old SNAP (food stamps) recipient -- member of a family that received SNAP benefits (food stamps) for either the 6-month period ending on the hiring date, or for at least 3 of the 5 months ending on the hiring date in the case of a family member who ceased to be eligible for such assistance under Section 6(o) of the Food Stamp Act of 1977.
• 18-39 year-old designated community resident -- individual who lives within an Empowerment Zone (EZ), or Rural Renewal County (RRC). New: On December 17, 2010, P.L. 111-312 reauthorized each HUD-designated urban Empowerment Zone (EZ) and each USDA-designated rural EZ from January 1, 2010 through December 31, 2011.
• 16-17 year-old summer youth -- individual who works for the employer between May 1 and September 15, and lives in an EZ.
• Vocational rehabilitation referral -- disabled person referred to the employer upon completion of (or while receiving) rehabilitation services approved by the State, the Ticket-to-Work Program, or the Department of Veterans Affairs.
• Ex-felon -- individual who was convicted of a felony and who is hired within one year after the conviction or release from prison.
• SSI recipient -- individual who received Supplemental Security Income benefits for any month ending during the past 60-day period ending on the hiring date.
QUALIFYING GROUPS
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201124
Currey & Company is an Atlanta-based company that manufactures and sells high-end lighting, furniture and
accessories to the designer market. Currey designs are featured in designer showrooms, elegant hotels and restaurants, and stylish homes.The company’s focus on its employees is what truly sets it apart. Robert Currey, the founder, is a visionary whose philosophy is that people are the heart of a business, and an individual’s capabilities are essential to developing a company to its highest level and utmost potential.
In that spirit, the company offers unique educational programs to its employees. All staffers are eligible, regardless of position or tenure. Almost 70% of Currey employees participate in some program. Currey’s education program consists of several offerings:
• English as a Second Language classes. About 60% of its roughly 100 Atlanta based employees are non-native English speakers – many employees come from Atlanta’s Hispanic and Vietnamese communities.
• GED classes so employees can get their high school diplomas.
• Citizenship classes for those seeking to become American citizens.
• Computer classes, in Excel and other commonly-used applications.
• Work-specific instruction to help employees cross-train or acquire needed skills.
• Tuition reimbursement - the company pays 100% of college tuition for its employees.
by Alicia Anderson
CUSTOMERSTORY
Emphasis on Employees
www.curreyco.comYou can learn more about Currey & Company at:
25bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
The company’s emphasis on employees doesn’t stop with the education programs. Controller Mike Moran says, “During the height of the recession, we opted to furlough workers instead of instituting layoffs.” The company also offers standard benefits (health, dental, 401(k), disability), as well as the ability to purchase product samples at significant discounts.
Lauren Gold is Currey’s Education Coordinator. Gold started at Currey as a part-time ESL teacher, and now teaches many of the courses herself in the company’s dedicated training room. Since the program’s launch in 2002, yearly employee turnover has decreased to almost zero. Employee loyalty means that company managers spend relatively little time and money on staffing or recruiting.
Team member Juan Miguel Mir was recently awarded his GED, opting to take the exam in his second language, English. Mir said “I feel so little, so now I need to grow.” Mariana Leal took citizenship classes at work, and became an American citizen in April, 2011.
In the shipping department, Alma Solano clearly summarized the benefits of the education program – she is working towards getting her GED on a “fast track,” hoping to finish within six months. “To me, it’s been great. Without this program, I would have to drive to a school and spend three or four hours a night attending school,” said Alma. “Here, I can spend an hour and a half, not have to commute, and have more energy and time for my job – it’s really motivated me!”
Currey’s internal newsletter is an elegant, printed piece which highlights employee stories. A recent version includes a story from a
sales representative, who says “I love the heart and soul of this company and feel very honored and blessed to be a part of it.” Currey & Company truly understands that investing in employees pays off in loyalty and
productivity, and the result is an environment of high achievement and cooperation among all levels of the company.
“I love the heart and soul of this company and feel very honored and blessed to be a part of it.”
Employees being trained at the Currey & Company facility in Georgia
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201126
But often, these employees can be few and far between. More frequently there is a mood of resignation, doing what needs to be done and hoping that things will get better or another job opportunity will come along. While there may be some hopeless cases, as leaders, part of the burden is on us to make the workplace and the company objectives dynamic and inspirational to our team.
Mary Poppins (magical motivator and practically perfect in every way) used fun to inspire her young charges to seek optimal
performance. I can still remember Julie Andrews’ lovely voice singing “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun – you find the fun and snap – the job’s a game.” While this is an admittedly corny reference – there is undeniable truth in the message. Look around. Has the workplace become dreary and devoid of fun? Is it an environment of optimal performance?
Leading researcher, psychologist and author Mihaly Csikszetmihalyi uses the term “Flow” to define when we achieve optimal performance in an activity. You’ve probably
Ask any employee and they’ll tell you that they’ve taken on a lot more responsibilities over the months and years – most of it maybe not what they wanted or expected. A lucky employer has people on the team
who eagerly look for new challenges, a better way to build the mousetrap, ways to use tools to streamline tasks so that they can dig in to metrics and results that might suggest a more effective approach to attaining goals.
by Dawn Westerberg
What Is Preventing YourPeople from Achieving
Optimal Performance?
27bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
experienced flow – it’s when you become so absorbed in an activity that you lose all track of time, thoughts settle down and you’re in a mode of complete focus, and you seem to be operating at maximum effectiveness. There is an enormous sense of satisfaction that follows achieving the flow state.
It seems almost like serendipity when we enter a flow state. Most of us would love to be able to enter the flow state on demand. So what prevents us?
C s i k s z e t m i l h a l y i ’s research indicates that there are two impediments to flow state: boredom and frustration. If we’re unchallenged by an activity, it becomes boring. If we are too challenged by an activity, it becomes frustrating. We enter flow state when we are in the zone between boredom and frustration. We feel challenged but at the same time we feel equipped to meet the
challenge – that’s the perfect environment for flow and optimal performance.
As leaders, we can help our team find that zone where flow is most likely to happen. Do we throw tools or technology at our team and wait to see if they sink or swim? Could an investment in training help to better position our teams to feel equipped to
meet the challenge in front of them? Could a thoughtful
conversation help to illuminate a boring process
as being vital to the company and give the person responsible a different mindset to bring to the task? Can we as leaders
enable a little bit more fun in the workplace (getting back to Mary Poppins)?
I think we can. And the degree to which we
assist our team in finding optimal performance
directly affects the degree to which we will enjoy a transformed workplace.
Dawn Westerberg is the President of Dawn Westerberg Consulting LLC where she
specializes in helping business owners fall in love with their business again through
installing marketing systems that optimize fun work and awesome results. She is an
Authorized Duct Tape Marketing Coach and has held senior management marketing
positions at Sage, Lawson, and Open Systems. You can learn more about Dawn at
www.dawnwesterberg.com.
About Dawn Westerberg
“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun - you find the fun and snap - the job’s a game.” Mary
Poppins
People from Achieving
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201128
HUMANRESOURCES
Let’s take an example of a CEO who has built a small company from the bottom up. This CEO cares
deeply for his people. Often times during the day he can be found wandering from desk to desk
asking people not only about their day but also about their families. When times are tough, he focuses
his teams on how to get things done instead of blaming people for what hasn’t been done. He doesn’t yell but remains calm,
and when people bring things to his attention he listens. If an employee has a family issue, he takes the time to understand
the situation and work with the employee on what is needed. What type of culture is this building in the organization?
Take a look at another CEO - one that puts strict guidelines on his people about how many family photos can be left on their
desk. He monitors the times they clock in and out of the office and puts limitations and consequences in place if people are
late. He installs cameras to watch his employees when he is not in the office because he is worried that they aren’t being as
productive as they could be if he isn’t there driving their behavior. What type of culture is this building in this organization?
What type of leader are you?
Every leader and every employee in a business builds culture. That seems to put a lot of responsibility on the Human Resources
team in a company along with managers to find, hire and develop excellent people that build upon the culture. It only takes
one bad manager, who takes his or her own approach, to misalign and derail a team and subsequently and entire company.
As leaders, it is our role to keep managers and employees aligned to mission and vision and therefore culture.
Who do you have in your organization that is risking your company’s culture?
Think about how your developing culture is impacting the productivity of your business.
Many of us tend to avoid conflict and often sweep what we consider small issues under the
table. Small issues and challenges that we see as potential derailing qualities need to be
addressed as they appear so that your teams know that certain behaviors and attitudes
aren’t permitted. This is the way that culture begins to develop. Likewise if behaviors
are excused, ignored, or even tolerated, the culture learns collectively that this is what
is accepted, and this is how the company develops.
As a leader think about:
1. What are you ignoring that you shouldn’t be?
2. Who on your team is at risk for derailing the culture you want to have?
3. What type of leader are you, and what culture is that building in your organization?
For more stories on cultures that have been developed, check out our blog
series under the “Leadership” section of think.blytheco.com.
Building culture in an organization sounds like a daunting task, and if you think of it that
way it will be. Culture isn’t a set of initiatives or tasks that you assign to someone on
your team to execute in hopes that at the end of the performed tasks there will be culture.
It is so much more. The everyday interactions inside your organization and the people you
choose to work with as a part of your team determine the collective group culture.
Much Adoabout Culture
by Apryl Hanson
29bell•weth•er -noun: one who takes initiative or leadership
from Blytheco’s 2011Social Business Benchmarking Survey
Just a few interesting stats from Blytheco’s 2011 Social Business Benchmarking Survey (SBBS). How does your company stack up?
For additional results of the survey, visit our website at www.blytheco.com/survey.
The top three business issues that IT leaders are looking to solve in the next 24 months are:
Greater automation of tasksIntegration between systemsReduction of paper generated
95% of marketers report using a website for brand awareness. Other top tools used for brand awareness are:
Events/tradeshows – 76%Print advertising – 62%Word of mouth – 62%Twitter – 62%Facebook – 62%
Executives are optimistic. 80% project growth for their companies in the next year.
Most (80%) HR leaders use LinkedIn personally, but only 44% say they use it for recruiting new employees.
By far, the largest source of qualified leads for salespeople is referrals from customers or partners, with 82% saying they rely on this source for leads. Websites are the second largest source, with 61%.
HUMANRESOURCES
about Culture
Bellwether Magazine | Fourth Quarter 201130
Magnets Under the Table (continued from page 6)
Dynamics of Emotional Triangles
Mary and Jane occupy the inside of the Emotional Triangle and Suzie is
stuck on the outside.
It is normal for a person on the outside to get anxious, try to change
things between the two insiders and get an inside position.
Suzie reacts. She yells at Mary and Jane and calls them names.
Unfortunately, this backfires and only solidifies everyone’s position. Suzie
has just supported the status quo. Nothing changes.
Anxiety and reactivity by the person in the outside position only solidifies
the relationship between the two insiders. This is true between adults as
well. It is even true when one of the insiders is a thing rather than a
person. The spouse of an alcoholic will only solidify the relationship of
the alcoholic with the bottle if they continuously nag and try to change
it. Nagging is futile and only supports the addiction.
There are all kinds of relationships that leaders end up on the outside
of. The insiders can be:
• Two employees who can’t get along. (Yes, they are insiders.)
• An employee or group member and his or her disease.
• An employee or member and his or her anxiety.
• You fill in the blank.
How to Stop Supporting Stuckness
So if anxiety and reactivity of the person in the outside position only
keep things stuck and prevents real change, what is the person on the
outside to do? The answer is:
1. Manage personal anxiety
2. Remain non-reactive
These seem counter-intuitive but we instinctively advocate for these
behaviors when we tell a child who is getting teased in school to “just
ignore it” and don’t respond.
The main point of Emotional Triangles is this: All attempts to directly try
to change the relationship between two insiders in an emotional triangle
are likely to result in the opposite effect. A correlation of this is, “You
can’t will togetherness.”
The best chance for change (and it is no guarantee) is to stop trying to
become an insider. Rather, stop the “reactivity loop” from the outside
position of the Emotional Triangle.
A direct intervention must be abandoned. In fact, the very idea of
intervention must be abandoned. Instead of applying leverage to
change someone, the attention is given to one’s presence to encourage
a climate in which others can choose to change, or not.
Non-anxious Presence
The person in the outside position of an Emotional Triangle cannot
attain an inside position. Being anxious and reactive from the outside
position is counterproductive.
The key to negotiating change in relationships is through intentionally
staying in the outside position.
This is called “maintaining a non-anxious presence.”
There are 2 ways to stay in the outside position and refusing to support
things the way they are.
1. Focus on self rather than the others -You can only change yourself and you have to stop trying to change others.
2. Manage your own anxiety - Self care is important. If you need others to change to be ok, you give away your power.
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