Assertive Communication Skills

describes someone

who behaves

confidently and is not

frightened to say what

they want or believe

Assertiveness

Being Assertive

is not the same

as being

aggressive

Being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways

that violate the rights of others.

What causes people to avoid being

assertive?

Fear of displeasing others

Fear of not being liked

How Assertive Are You?

Do you ask for help if you need it?

Do you express anger and annoyance

appropriately?

Do you ask questions when you're

confused?

Do you volunteer your opinions when you

think or feel differently from others?

Are you able to say "no" when you don't

want to do something?

Do you speak with a generally confident

manner, communicating caring and strength?

Do you look at people when you're talking

to them?

Types of Assertion

1. Basic Assertion

This is a simple, straightforward expression of your

beliefs, feelings, or opinions.

It's usually a simple "I want" or "I feel" statement.

2. Empathic Assertion: This conveys some sensitivity to

the other person

"I know you've really been busy, but I want to feel

that our relationship is important to you. I want

you to make time for me and for us."

3. Escalating Assertion: This

occurs when the other person

fails to respond to your basic

assertion and continues to

violate your rights. You gradually

escalate the assertion and

become increasingly firm.

4. I-Language Assertion

This is especially useful for expressing negative feelings.

It involves a 3-part statement:

When you do . . . (describe the behavior).

The effects are . . . (describe how the behavior

concretely affects you).

I'd prefer. . . (describe what you want).

I-Language Assertion can help you constructively focus

that anger and be clear about your own feelings.

Being Assertive

Power of Positive Beliefs

Being Direct

Focus on Facts

Focus on Consequences

Stop Put Down Behavior

Why is Assertiveness

Important?

Depression

Resentment

Frustration

The Assertive

Bill Of Rights

I Have The Right

To Be Treated

With Respect

I Have The Right

To Have And Express

My Own

Feelings And Opinions

I Have The Right

To Be Listened To

And Taken Seriously

I Have The Right

To Set

My Own Priorities

I Have The Right

To Say No

Without Feeling

Guilty

I Have The Right

To Ask

For What I Want

I Have The Right

To Get

What I Pay For

I Have The Right

To Make Mistakes

I Have The Right

To Assert Myself,

Even Though I May

Inconvenience Others

I Have The Right

To Choose

Not To Assert Myself

The most powerful assertiveness

technique is to repeat your command with

the confidence

of a child

Assertiveness is not

what you do,

it's who you are!

Steps to become more assertive

Realize where changes are needed and believe in your

rights.

Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in each

specific situation that concerns you.

Practice giving assertive responses.

Try being assertive in real life situations.

Chinese Proverb

‘He who asks is a fool for five

minutes but he who does not ask

remains a fool forever’