Post on 11-May-2020
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“When It’s not The Client’s Trauma” Integra;ng Family Constella;ons
with Energy Psychology
Michael Reddy, Ph.D. CPC www.ReddyWorks.com Philadelphia, PA
Relieving Chronic Emo0onal/Physical Suffering Using Family Constella0ons | Core Energy Coaching | EFT | Shamanism
ACEP Breakout Session, Phoenix, 2014
What are They?
• Family Constella;ons are a method for revealing and re-‐aligning hidden loyal;es in ancestral and family groups.
• They IMAGE and WORK WITH whole systems in an exploratory and restora;ve way.
• The classic group form uses intui;ve, spa;al arrangements of human representa;ves.
• Think of slow, unscripted psychodrama.
Why Do This?
• Children take on, via innate social resonance systems, unconscious assignments within families.
• Persis;ng beyond childhood, these systemic “entanglements” anchor change-‐resistant problems.
• Treatments focused on the individual alone very oUen fail to remedy these problems.
• They are not “in” the individual but part of the system to which the individual s;ll subconsciously belongs. Thus trauma is also trans-‐genera;onal.
That System is the Family Soul
• A distributed, subconscious social intelligence built in to the human nervous system
• It’s goal: insure the propaga;on of life WITH LOVE through genera;ons
• It’s primary strategy: Harmonious Inclusion • When badly challenged: it will choose the good of the group over that of an indivi dual
• It is capable of a kind of cross-‐genera;onal load balancing that is partly psychic
LeIover loyal0es to unresolved issues in your birth family’s past shape your
life—usually for the worse
Thus… How Constella;ons Developed
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Kinds of Systemic Constella;ons
• Family & Personal Constella;ons—resolve a person’s issues – There are varia;ons on the Classic Group Format – Also private, one on one Constella;ons with different forms of representa;ves • Face to face or via telephone or Skype
• Organiza;onal Constella;ons—resolve hard to quan;fy, whole system problems in businesses or other organiza;ons
TERRIBLE MIGRAINES FADE
• Don’s debilita0ng migraines go away when he resolves a hidden loyalty to his father’s older brother
• Unrepaired stair rail causes Uncle to fall & die of concussion age 4. Grandparents blame each other—their grief & acceptance s;fled by biberness. Don’s migraines express this unresolved tangle—un;l the grandparents, accept, grieve, and reconcile in a constella;on.
CASE #1 PUBLIC SPEAKING PHOBIA VANISHES
• Rising execu0ve John’s incurable panic liIs when he unloads a hidden loyalty: a grandfather was crippled lecturing about explosives.
• Teaching explosives safety in WW1, Grandpa is crippled by a faulty grenade and remains shamed by-‐-‐as opposed to heroic in-‐-‐his military service.
• John resonates to the unaccepted “lectures can unfairly destroy your life” feelings-‐-‐un;l these return to his ancestors in a constella;on
CASE #2
CAN’T LOVE BECOMES “I CAN!”
• Beth’s avoidance of any man she starts to love shiIs when she releases her loyalty to both a mother and a grandmother who could not be close to the man they loved.
• Grandma never got over not being allowed to marry the man she loved. Mom loved her man, but (loyal to her Mom) could not open up to him.
• Beth releases 2 genera;ons of “you can’t have any many you really love” by acknowledging both her love & her separateness from these women.
CASE #3 BREAST CANCER STOPPED
• Mary’s 2nd bout with breast cancer goes into remission when her subconscious stops trying to fulfill her mother’s intense desire to have a boy baby instead of the girl she was born as.
• To the blindly loyal child within, double radical mastectomies threatening Mary would create a superficially more “boy-‐like” form.
• Interac;ng with the representa;ve for Mom in a constella;on, both Mary and Mom release this entanglement in the family system.
CASE #4
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What’s the Pabern Here?
• When unaccepted, not assimilated – Death by concussion incurable migraines – Crippled, shamed teaching speaking phobia – Enforced “can’t have your love” reject love in advance
– “Be a boy for Mom” cancer threatens breasts
• Some literal or metaphorical echo of the un-‐processed trauma appears one, two, or three genera;ons down the line.
Demonstra0on
• SOCIAL GEOMETRY Conceptual metaphors
based on the spaces around
the human body
A Constella0on Illustrated
• TERRIBLE MIGRAINES RELIEVED 1 Ini;al Setup of
Representa;ves
• TERRIBLE MIGRAINES RELIEVED 2
AUer 1st check in and then reps are allowed to move to new
posi;ons
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• TERRIBLE MIGRAINES RELIEVED 3
AUer Grandfather soUens & looks at his lost son
• TERRIBLE MIGRAINES RELIEVED 4
• Grandparents reconcile
• Accept & mourn loss of son
• Client rep moves away from Uncle • Client actual
inserted for healing sentences
Seven Sources Of Systemic Loyal0es
Failures in Early Childhood Bonding
• In womb and 1st 2-‐3 yrs of life crucial determinants of success in later life
• Child IS the family system budding off a new, as yet only poten;al “individual”
• Social empathy tools in nervous system are modeling on Mom & caregivers (Abachment Theory)
• Problems here block the flow of love in the family system and thus also from life itself
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #1
Parent/Child Seniority Switching
• Preschool & later children sense topsy-‐turvy imbalances of care, guidance, need for love
• Some forgo childhood freedom & begin paren;ng needy or incompetent parents
• Some become “emo;onal spouses” of one or the other parent
• Adults whose inner children lost parents this way miss developmental stages
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #2 Former-‐Partner/Lost-‐Love Exclusions
• Family Soul “remembers” biological parents & deeply loved former partners
• When their rights or memories are suppressed, a child oUen bonds with them subconsciously
• They may suffer as the excluded member suffered, or feel anger at the excluders that is not their own.
• Adults who as children became part of divorce and other parent level struggles con;nue to express these in their lives.
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #3
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Major Injus0ces
• These can affect descendents whether they were within or even outside of the family
• Anyone who affects the flow of life & love in a Family Soul deeply becomes a family member
• Grandpa stole a business from his partner—now his favorite granddaughter suffers repeated, unexplained business failures.
• She suffers with the damaged partner and also thereby atones for Grandfather’s duplicity.
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #4 Tragic Suffering in the Family
• Lost children (miscarriages, s;llbirths, abor;ons, un;mely deaths)
• Un;mely loss of parents, forced emigra;ons
• Birth defects, debilita;ng diseases. • Cripplings or long-‐term PTSD from accidents or in returning military personnel.
• REMEMBER—it’s not the events per se, but rather “have they been processed/accepted?”
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #5
Catastrophic Experiences
• Wars, terrorism, civil unrest
• Devasta;ng natural disasters—storms, floods, earthquakes, fires, droughts
• Survivor guilt in those who lose family, military unit comrades, even close colleagues
• Perpetrator remorse in those who must maim or kill others
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #6 Perpetrator-‐Vic0m Abuse
• This can be Incident-‐based (one ;me event) or pabern-‐based (ongoing series of similar events)
• When this is between caregivers & children, it marks both in deep ways
• Those on the receiving end carry oUen the perpetrator within—they become either perpetrators or vic;ms themselves later on
• Even not-‐so-‐abused children or grandchilden of abusive caregivers oUen become vic;ms to atone
HIDDEN LOYALTY SOURCE #7
What happens maiers less than how it was processed. Tragedies that are adequately grieved, assimilated, & accepted leave no nega0ve traces.
Remember… Trans-‐Genera;onal Trauma is Real
• There is thus a form of trauma that is not personal, but rather “systemic.”
• It resides in the family system, wai;ng there because it was not, or could not be processed.
• It ends up being carried in some literal or analogous manner by a descendent of those whose experience it originally was.
• So the original events did not happen to the descendent, but similar ones keep happening
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So How Does it Cross Genera;ons?
• Successful constella;ons worldwide in the ten’s of thousands provide ample anecdotal evidence
• Epigene;c inheritance & social empathy system bonding in early childhood suggest pathways
• Yet the scien;fic materialist paradigm offers no explana;on for some observed effects
• Energe;c, holographic, non-‐local a-‐temporal, consciousness-‐based models of reality are required to hypothesize about how this works
Consciousness Related Effects Observed
• Representa0ve Percep0on. Complete strangers in constella;ons display feelings or traumas of absent or deceased family members – EXAMPLE-‐-‐Representa0ve for client's father feels one leg go temporarily numb; client then says, "Oh, Dad lost that in the war."
• Induced Systemic Healings. Pa;ent and respecmul restora;on of harmony among those represen;ng the system frees or heals the client. – EXAMPLE-‐-‐Reps for parents of the lost uncle our detailed example here forgive each other, mourn their child's early death. Client’s migraines go away.
SLIDE #1
Consciousness Related Effects Observed
• Cascading Resolu0ons. Resolu;ons produce oUen uncanny shiUs in the lives of family members who know nothing of the constella;on. – EXAMPLE-‐-‐Rep for homeless, addicted son reconciles with the rep for his dead father in his mother's constella;on. Totally unaware, he enters rehab, aQer resis;ng for years
• Effec0ve Personifica0ons. Symbolic abachment to reps of elements like "the disease" or "a new job" produces valid informa;on & transmits effects. – EXAMPLE-‐-‐Rep for Daughter's neuropathies aRaches to Grandma, leaves constella;on during resolu;on. They fade
SLIDE #2
Implica;ons for Healing
• If the problem is not so much in the client as in the family system, trea;ng the client purely as an individual is – At least the harder, less effec;ve way to approach it – Or may not work at all, leading to recurrent or change-‐resistant syndromes
• Systemic trauma carried by an individual oUen spawns personal trauma, but remains dis;nct
• At minimum, simple screenings for systemic trauma would aid many kinds of healing professionals
• Like EP, Constella;ons are easy, inexpensive, non-‐in;mida;ng, solu;on focused, very oUen effec;ve in the hard cases. They are naturally complementary.
Cross Genera;onal Load Balancing
• If a family system is overwhelmed, its children do not survive
• Not yet individuated children, with nothing to give but a kind of blind love, take on trauma;c burdens caregivers cannot or could not manage
• If this shores up the whole system, it becomes a form of resilience
• But later, when crises pass, these hidden loyal;es need to be released, or adult life suffers
The Family to Individual Fractal
• Fractals repeat similar paberns across a range of different scales (Na;on, Tribe, Clan, Family, Individual…)
• In individuals, we know that survival can require encapsula;on of immediate overwhelm (trauma), which emerges again later & requires healing to restore wholeness
• Family systems also encapsulate overwhelm, which emerges now in succeeding genera;ons and requires its own kind of healing
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Integra;ng Constella;ons with EP
• Family Constella;ons involve both a SYSTEMIC ANCESTRAL PERSEPCTIVE – Our energy fields are necessarily embedded in larger fields, primarily the ancestral, birth, & partner fields
– Trauma can happen to the larger fields, yet express across genera;ons in entangled individuals
• And a DIAGNOSIS & TREATMENT METHOD – externalizing, spa;ally based, symbolic representa;on of people, events, diseases, desires, and so on
• Both can be important for EP people, but even the perspec;ve along has value also on its own
Screening for Hidden Loyal;es
• EP-‐ers unable to facilitate constella;ons can easily learn enough to know when these would move an otherwise stuck client forward
• Screening the client for hidden loyal;es to trauma in the ancestral system is not hard – Construct an overview genogram – Look for the 7 sources in rela;on to client’s issues – Decide on referral or not (chat with me or someone like me if you’re not sure…)
SIMPLY MAKING USE OF THE PERSPECTIVE
• TERRIBLE MIGRAINES RELIEVED 1 Ini;al Setup of
Representa;ves
• TERRIBLE MIGRAINES RELIEVED 1 Ini;al Setup of
Representa;ves
Ways to Learn the Perspec;ve
• Read my book—which is wriben for people exactly like you (no kidding)
• It’s here in the bookstore • You can order it at
www.Reddyworks.com
• On Amazon in both paperback and Kindle e-‐
book form
SLIDE #1 Ways to Learn the Perspec;ve
• Take my 6 week Teleclass (reddyworks.com/services) SLIDE #2
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Ways to Learn the Perspec;ve
• Many books are light on concepts and heavy on case examples. Two that are not are – Indra Torsten Preiss, FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS REVEALED
– Jacob Schneider, FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS—BASIC PRINCIPLES AND PROCEDURES
• Both of these come from a more European, Hellinger-‐esque perspec;ve
• I feel constella;ons differ in different cultures
SLIDE #3 Alterna;ng These Modali;es
• Those skilled in both can easily switch from one to the other modality as dictated by the progress of the healing partnership.
• I’m doing this increasingly using Gary and Tina’s “gold standard” EFT techniques
• There’s a fascina;ng flow in the process – Personal trauma clears, which leads us to traumas in the family system
– As family system traumas clear, other personal traumas lose their anchors & yield to the EP technique
USING BOTH BUT NOT INTEGRATING
Integra;ng Both Modali;es
• Tapping the constella;on client to release emo;onal/energy disrup;ons as the private or group constella;on in unfolds
• Tapping representa;ves who become too caught up in the “channeled” reac;ons of the non-‐present, possibly no longer living persons they are represen;ng (calm the representa;ve in groups…)
• Surrogate tapping of the the non-‐present, possibly no longer living persons via tapping of the representa;ve (clearing the ancestor…)
SLIDE #1-‐-‐MERIDIAN TAPPING IN CONSTELLATIONS
Integra;ng Both Modali;es
• I’m personally in the experimental stage with this in both seqngs. It is definitely useful, but how, when, and how much to do it is s;ll emerging for me – There is a drama;c flow to group constella;ons that I don’t want to interrupt with too much tapping
– Too much focus on either the client’s or a given rep’s energy system distracts me from my “whole system” focus
• I worked a bit with Julie Roberts (Chang Works with CLEAR, an
EP method), who uses EP far more in constella;on groups • In private constella;ons, where I rep (feel into) each ancestor—I’m finding I can tap myself as a surrogate for the ancestor I’m “channeling”—and see results.
SLIDE #2-‐-‐MERIDIAN TAPPING IN CONSTELLATIONS
Integra;ng Both Modali;es
• Deborah Donndelinger has moved in the opposite direc;on, pulling treatment of cross genera;onal trauma more into an EP form
SLIDE #3-‐-‐THE CONSTELLATION PERSPECTIVE IN EP
• This is a careful transforma;on of the systemic, ancestral perspec;ve into script-‐based tapping procedures
• This book is also here in the bookstore and on Amazon
Cross Fer;liza;on between the Modali;es
• I’m aware of many constellators who also do some form of EP—these seem to be more “alternators” than “integrators”
• Would love to hear from EP-‐ers who also alternate or integrate constella;ons
• These two modali;es seem to have rich possibili;es for enhancing each others effects
• The perspec;ve and techniques of each can help the other
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Implica;ons for the Human Energy Field
• The human energy field is designed by nature to par;cipate in larger systems of such fields
• Just as neurologists are realizing that the physical brain and nervous system, with it’s mammalian, limbic social resonance circuits, is profoundly rela;onal and cannot be understood in isola;on—so too for the larger “human energy field.”
• Some healings require aben;on to these larger fields—especially FAMILY SOULS
SLIDE #1-‐-‐EMBEDDED IN LARGER FIELDS Implica;ons for the Human Energy Field
• The threat response of the larger systems in which we are embedded is similar to that of our individual nervous system – Isolate & encapsulate overwhelm so as to survive
– Troublesome “leakage” of these capsules later on – Restoring wholeness requires careful reintegra;on
• So similar remedies may be effec;ve
• We should look for and heal traumas induced by other traumas both up and down levels
SLIDE #2—TRAUMA IS A FRACTAL