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Influencing Skills

With Nigel Moody

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Session Map

• What is Influence• Influence & You• What really lies behind it• How to be Influential, no really!• Adjacent Essential Personal Skills• Selling with Influence• Personal Action Planning

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Session Map

• What is Influence• Influence & You • What really lies behind it• How to be Influential, no really!• Adjacent Essential Personal Skills• Selling with Influence• Personal Action Planning

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What words spring to mind when you read or hear the word

Influencing

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Authority Control Credit

Direction Domination Effect

Guidance Magnetism Mastery Power

Pressure Prestige Rule Sway

Weight Clout Leverage

Importance Charisma Pull

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A Defining Moment . . .

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Influence . .

• An effect of one person or thing on another• The power of a person or thing to have that

effect• Power or sway resulting from ability, wealth,

position etc.• A person or thing having influence

Collins Dictionary and Thesaurus

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Session Map

• What is Influence • Influence & You• What really lies behind it• How to be Influential, no really!• Adjacent Essential Personal Skills• Selling with Influence• Personal Action Planning

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When is it Easy?

When is it difficult?

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What Influences you?

Is it things you see, hear, feel, know, expect, etc. . .

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Session Map

• What is Influence • Influence & You • What really lies behind it• How to be Influential, no really!• Adjacent Essential Personal Skills• Selling with Influence• Personal Action Planning

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Aristotle & Influential Wisdom

A good influencer speaks logically, fluently and confidently motivating and inspiring

others by appealing to their ‘hidden interests’.

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Other People . . .

• Management is often described as getting things done through the coordinated efforts of other people

• Work and business relies entirely upon other people, i.e. clients, competitors, colleagues

So, it’s all because of other people!

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Influence is all about POWER

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The Balance of Power

• Your capacity to Influence comes from being able to exert power

• We all feel more or less powerful dependant upon circumstances

• Managing the balance of power is important• Recognising your power and it’s weight in

differing circumstances is key.

16Sources of Power

• Reward• Coercive• Legitimate• Personal

• Expert• Information• Connection.

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Session Map

• What is Influence • Influence & You • What really lies behind it • How to be Influential, no really!• Adjacent Essential Personal Skills• Selling with Influence• Personal Action Planning

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Don’t Worry

It comes preloaded!

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Winning Hearts & Minds

to

Respect peoples’ interests,

aspirations and concerns . .

persuade them as to the merits of your proposal.

adapt and demonstrate how your ideas meet

their real needs . .

and

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Or put another way . . .

Stage Their Position Your Position

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The Four Golden Rules

• Ask Questions

• Explain the Benefits

• Meet the Objections

• Secure the Deal for Action.

22Don’t Confuse . . .

Push• Forcing the other person to

do something• Moving rather than

motivating them• Creates a WIN: LOSE situation• Quicker result or no result• You cannot use a PUSH style

then a PULL style• Does not necessarily show

respect.

Pull• Motivating a person, so that

they want to do it• Decreasing forces against

change• Creates trust• Sets up a WIN: WIN situation• Gains long-term commitment• Listens and shows

respect.

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Session Map

• What is Influence • Influence & You • What really lies behind it • How to be Influential, no really! • Adjacent Essential Personal Skills• Selling with Influence• Personal Action Planning

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What might they be?

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Essential Adjacent Skills

• Planning • Questioning • Listening

• Presenting• Assertiveness• Negotiating.

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Planning

Putting yourself in the best possible position for doing the best possible job!

• Clarity of purpose• Who, When & Where?• Background research• What do they already know?• What do you need to know?• What do they need to know• Action plan & approach

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Questioning & Listening

To gain understanding and to build rapport

• Ask questions that deserve answers, and always listen to them.

• Use your proactive and reactive questions to keep control of the conversation.

• Demonstrate you understand their point of view, concerns and hopes

• Build Rapport and be on their side.

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Working with your neighbour . . .

Find out what they did last weekend, from leaving work on Friday night until bed time

Sunday evening.You have 2 minutes!

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Presenting

• Plan thoroughly• Be clear, concise and accurate• Less is more• Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell

them and then tell them what you’ve told them• Use appropriate language i.e. not jargon• Make visuals strong and justifiable• Rehearse Rehearse Rehearse

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Assertiveness

It’s about rights and permissions

31The Three BehavioursBehaviour Type Body Language Actions

Passive

Keen to avoid confrontation even at the expense of him/herself. Hopes people will ‘know ‘ what he or she wants, excessively concerned with what other people think of him/her.

Minimal eye contact.Quiet, hesitant voice. Rambling speech.Defensive shrinking posture.‘Hand washing’ and fidgeting.

Self-blame. Beats around the bush and avoids the issue.Over-justification, permission seeking statements. Give in easily. Generates sympathy, makes people feel guilty to get what he/she wants.

Aggressive

Keen to win even at others’ expense. Overtly concerned with own needs rather than other people’s.

Excessive eye contact.Loud, obtrusive voice.Blunt.Invades others’ space.Finger wagging and pointing.

Quick to blame other. Criticises the person not his/her behaviour. Authoritarian. Uses sarcasm, criticism and ridicule to win the point.Makes requests sound like orders.

Assertive

Keen to stand up for own rights, whilst accepting that others have rights too.

Enough eye contact to let people know he or she is sincere and genuine.Moderate, neutral tone of voice. Moderate open body posture. Body language ‘agreeing’ with spoken words.

Lots of listening, seeks to understand. Treats people with respect. Prepared to compromise. Solution oriented. Prepared to state and explain what he/she wants. Straight and to the point without being abrupt. Prepared to persist for what he/she wants.

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Negotiation

Achieving the WIN:WIN

• Explain the Benefits– Lead them over to your side by explaining the benefits

and for whom.– Use factual rather than unsupportive assertions – Be fair and don’t rubbish their ideas, or your

competitors – Explain the consequences of doing nothing.– Put your preferred option last.

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Negotiation

Achieving the WIN:WIN

• Meet Objections– Anticipate and prepare for their objections, be gracious not

smart !

– First – attitude. Play it cool. Do not respond emotionally but low key

– Seek to understand by asking questions and isolating the specific objection(s). Put them into perspective and suggest compensating factors – i.e. place their concerns into context alongside the many benefits.

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Negotiation

Achieving the WIN:WIN

• Secure the deal for action– Have realistic expectations – you might need to

come back later – leave the door open– Ask for their commitment to action– When a commitment has been granted seek

clarification as to the who, what, when, where, how and why – thank them and then shut up!

35Jung’s Behavioural Styles

Profiling your ‘target’ can always help!

• Respect Person

• Approval Person

• Control Person

• Recognition Person.

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36The Selling Process

Identify Needs

Explanation of Fulfilment of Needs

Ask for the Work

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Personal Action Planning