Running head: FOREVER ALONE SYNDROME
Forever Alone Syndrome:
An Examination into Social Media’s Influence on Single Individuals
Leta Lohrmeyer
University of Nebraska at Omaha
The author, Leta Lohrmeyer, is an undergraduate student at the University of
Nebraska at Omaha in the School of Communication. She plans to graduate with a B.A.
in Journalism and Media Communication, emphasizing in Journalism, and a minor in
Communication Studies. Contact: [email protected]
FOREVER ALONE SYNDROME
Forever Alone Syndrome:An Examination into Social Media’s Influence on Single Individuals
Abstract
This study examines the implications of social networking web sites (SNSs)
within individuals that are not in a romantic relationship. Specifically drawing on
previous literature in communication studies, I suggest that the use of social media does
impact single people’s thoughts about romantic relationships. This study is contributing
to the literature by exploring a previously unresearched demographic. Individual’s online
ideal persona relates to single people’s perceived pressure to be in a relationship. To test
this idea, I conducted a survey that was distributed randomly across social networking
sites. Results support the idea that social media does influence single people’s
perceptions on romantic relationship, people are not happy to be single, and they have a
strong desire to be in a relationship. Theoretical implications for the role of SNSs in
single people’s thoughts about romantic relationships are discussed.
Introduction
As technology rapidly advances, communication using social networking sites
(SNS) has continuously grown in both accessibility and popularity (Coyne, Stockdale,
Husby, Iverson & Grant, 2011). Young adults and new generations have spent their entire
lives with the Internet and have grown up using SNSs like Facebook, Twitter, and
Instagram. This means SNS helps shape the world of communication and how we interact
with one another. Currently, young adults primarily use SNSs to connect and maintain
relationships, including more romantic intimate interactions (Sanchez, 2014); (Hardman
& Bazarova, 2018). There has been a trend, especially on Twitter of the hashtag
#foreveralone. The phrase “forever alone” has been used for years, mostly for comedic
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effect about a person’s status of being single (Seeperad, 2014). This paper will look more
at romantic relationships on social media, what is communicated, and how it relates to
those who are not in a relationship.
There is a large number of studies on the topic of social media’s impact on
romantic relationships. One study delved into the subject of Facebook’s role in the
development of stages of romantic relationships (Fox, Warber & Makstaller, 2013).
Another study analyzed the SNS influence on romantic relationship characteristics like
attachment style, jealousy, commitment, and satisfaction (Rus & Tiemensma, 2017).
However, there is a gap in the literature when it comes to the influence social media has
on people who are not in a romantic relationship.
Problem Statement
There is a lack of academic research on the modern issue of peer-pressure to be in
a romantic relationship because of social media. Social norms have emerged as young
adults project their romantic relationship through SNS. People perceive couples as more
committed if they made a public declaration by going “Facebook official” (Fox, Warber
& Makstaller, 2013). The peer-pressure may not be intended but it has been found that
SNS can create jealousy from excessive photo-sharing or comments (Halpern, Katz &
Carril, 2017). People also build an ideal online persona that is detached from their real-
life self (Halpern, Katz & Carril, 2017). This could lead to unrealistic expectations of
what it is like to be in a romantic relationship when the ideal persona is constantly
absorbed by others on the Internet (Lenhart, Anderson & Smith, 2015). This study is
important as we progressively use social media to communicate our relationships (or lack
thereof) and what we communicate about them. The study will add to the previous
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literature by looking at social media and romantic relationships but through the lens of an
under-researched demographic of single individuals.
Theoretic Expectations
The theoretical expectation between the proposed variables is that social
networking sites will influence a single person’s desire to be in a relationship. Through
the research of previous literature, there is a recognizable correlation between social
media and its effect on romantic relationships. This leads me to believe that there will
also be an effect on people who consume this media, even though they are not in a
romantic relationship.
Literature Review
Through the increased popularity of social networks new norms, expectations, and
behaviors have emerged. Fox, Warber, and Makstaller (2013) examined the role of
Facebook in the development of romantic relationships. Using Knapp’s stage model of
relationships, the authors contrasted the stages of initiating, experimenting, intensifying,
integrating, and bonding to Facebook (Fox, Warber & Makstaller, 2013, p.771). The
results of their study revealed that this SNS has evolved our social norms when it comes
to romantic relationships and has influence in each of Knapp’s proposed stages of a
relationship. For example, Facebook is used to seek information about a person to learn
more about who they are and what their relationship status is (Fox, Warber & Makstaller,
2013, p.779). The social media platform is also a social statement with participants
echoing the sentiment that if a couple is not official in real life unless they are ‘Facebook
official’ (Fox, Warber & Makstaller, 2013, p.784). This is a comprehensive analysis, but
the limitations include that the participants are only representing a college demographic.
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They were in a mixed-sex focus group which could make disclosing information
uncomfortable for some participants. Again, this study only involves people who are in a
relationship and does not mention the effect Facebook has single young adults unless
they were the first stage of a relationship.
Expanding more on the idea of social media’s influence on relationships, authors
Hardman and Bazarova (2018) analyzed a combination of multiple media platforms, not
just one specific SNS. The researchers looked at the media multiplexity theory to see the
correlation of media with interpersonal communication and closeness in romantic
relationships. The results found that not only was there a positive relationship between
relational closeness and the number of media, but relational closeness is also associated
with more multimedia frequency and disclosure (Hardman & Bazarova, 2018, p.1122).
One of the limitations the study had was that the majority of participants were white
females, which limited the generalizability of the researchers' findings (Hardman &
Bazarova, 2018, p.1122).
Continuing with the previous theme of relational closeness, Sanchez (2014)
researched if there was a correlation between intimacy in a romantic relationship and
time spent on SNS. Results from the study state that these variables were not correlated
(Sanchez, 2014, p. 40). The author’s research shows that romantic partners felt pressured
to use Facebook to engage in relationship maintenance (Sanchez, 2014, p. 38). The
feeling of peer-pressure aligns itself to my future analysis on the subject. However, the
research differs from mine when it comes to researching people who are not in a romantic
relationship.
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The use of social media when in a romantic relationship has revealed negative
implications. Studies by Rus and Tiemensma (2017) as well as Halpern, Katz, and Carril
(2017) looked into the subject of the jealousy effect. Halpern, Katz, and Carril found that
the combination of jealousy and self-idealization equals lower satisfaction in romantic
relationships (Halpern, Katz & Carril, 2017, p. 121). The self-idealization aspect is
relevant to my study as romantic partners use social media to project a flattering image of
the couple, often diverging from real-life. Rus and Timensma also found that SNS can
induce jealousy within romantic relationships. The results from the study show that
gender often influences types of jealousy felt. Females are more inclined to experience
jealousy through SNS; however, males often get jealous over specific nonverbal forms of
communication (Rus & Tiemensma, 2017, p. 701). Both studies recognized that while
SNS has negative effects, it also can benefit romantic relationships.
Research Priorities
There has been extensive research done on romantic relationships and the
influence of social media in the quality and satisfaction of the members of that
relationship. Previous literature has covered specific social media platforms, as well as
the entire concept of SNSs. The research that I will be completing will cover a new
demographic, individuals who are not in a romantic commitment. This group is not
recognized in the research and could be considered a silenced population. The topic of
peer-pressure with romantic relationships has been briefly mentioned, however, it
deserves to be expanded upon. This new research will still analyze how romantic
relationships are portrayed on social media but instead look at it from the perspective of
single people.
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It is significant to analyze how social media is impacting single people’s
perception and outlook on romantic relationships. This study will first provide a review
of previous literature covering social media, romantic relationships, and peer-pressure.
Next, an overview of the researcher’s methods to examine the stated research questions.
Then, the results from the methods used will be provided, as well as a discussion of what
the results mean. Finally, there will be a summary and a conclusion about the
implications of the study.
Research Questions
RQ1: What role does social networking sites play in single young adults’ desire to be in a
romantic relationship?
RQ2: Do young adults feel pressure to be in a romantic relationship because of social
media?
RQ3: What is the relationship between social networking sites and single young adults’
perceptions of romantic relationships?
Methodology
In this study, the independent variable would be social media and the dependent
variable is the desire or pressure to be in a romantic relationship. Participants were drawn
from the entire population of respondents, 51 people, that completed the anonymous
Social Media and Relationships survey. Individuals completed the survey online as it was
distributed on both my personal Facebook page and Twitter page. On Facebook, four of
my friends shared the link on their page allowing the survey to be completed by more
than just my group of friends. Because of the nature of the study only single people were
requested to partake in the study. Seven participants responded that they were either in a
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relationship or stated it’s complicated, for the purposes of the study and the time limit, I
will include these seven participants in the single demographic.
Participants
Approximately 80% of the participants were women and almost 18% were men.
Ninety percent of the sample identified themselves as Caucasian, 1.96% for both African
American and Asian, and 5.88% choosing the option of ‘other.’ The majority of
respondents ranged in age from 17-23 years-old with a few outliers including, a 28-year-
old, 32-year-old, and a 43-year-old. The most common age of participants at 29.41%
were 21-year-olds. Again, for this study 100% of the participants are considered single.
Method
The method used to conduct this study was a survey. The survey is a 13-item
questionnaire designed to evaluate the connection between single people and their use of
social media driving a desire to be in a relationship. The questions examine two main
topics, first their feelings about their relationship status and second their use of social
media. The questions relating to their relationship status covered several different
contexts, including their contentment with being single, if they felt pressure to be in a
relationship, and if they used the term ‘forever alone’ before. The questions involving
social media asked about which SNSs they use, how much time they spend on it in a
week, and how much they see others post about significant others. There were a few
more questions included in order to provide a comprehensive evaluation, such as one
question asking if their perception of love and romance have changed because of social
media.
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Previous research involving romantic relationships and social media used a range
of methods including focus groups and field studies. However, I chose this particular
method because it allowed for several different people to respond in an anonymous
manner allowing for more transparency and easier distribution.
Results
To answer the first research question, social media does have an influence on
young adults’ desire to be in a romantic relationship. Only 15% of the 51 participants
indicated that they were neutral on the subject of being single, meaning 85% of people
answered, ‘definitely yes’ or ‘probably yes,’ they do want to be in a romantic
relationship. Respondents not only want to be in a relationship, but 86% stated they are
unhappy that they are single. The survey found that 36 participants have used the term
forever alone before, relating back to the idea of using social media to share humor about
being single. While there is not an absolute connection to social media and people’s
desire to be in a relationship, it could be seen that through the circulation of the ‘forever
alone’ ideation and exposure to other people’s relationships on social media it could
contribute to this dissatisfaction.
Answering the second research question, young adults do feel some amount of
pressure to be in a romantic relationship. These results found that the participants tend to
feel somewhat pressured to be in a relationship, with the average number on the Likert
scale being 5.02. This number is similar to the average number for how often single
people see others post about their relationship or significant other which was 6.72. The
exhibition of the online idealized persona of romantic relationships contributes to the
shift of social norms on SNSs.
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The final research question asked if social media changed people’s perceptions of
love/romance. The survey found that 38 out of 51 participants say that social media has in
fact changed their perceptions of romantic relationships. These results relate back to how
much other people are posting about their relationship or significant other. This self-
idealization is similar to the Halpern, Katz, and Carril (2017) study, the need to portray
the best version of themselves or the relationship can distort the truth. This manipulation
on social media has impacted single people and changed their perceptions of romance.
Other results of the study found that the most used social media site is Facebook
with 49 participants being users. Instagram and Snapchat were close behind with 44 and
42 users, respectively. Hours spent on social media differed with the minimum amount
being 3-hours and the maximum being 70-hours. The average amount of time participants
spent on social media each week amounted to 24-hours.
Discussion
The culmination of this study found that social media does have a role in the
perceptions of single individuals. None of the participants indicated that they did not have
a desire to be in a relationship. This statistic is significant on how much value we, as a
society, put into romantic relationships. Further research would need to be done to get
more information about what develops that driving desire to be in a romantic relationship,
to see if it is because of social media or other external forces. Young adults do feel
pressure to be in a relationship in some capacity. There is no direct link to whether these
individuals feel pressured because of their use of social media or not. That may be an
idea for continuing research to see the connection to how many SNSs are used along with
how many hours spent on them in a week and how it relates to the amount of pressure
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felt. This study found that most participants did feel that social media did influence their
perceptions on romantic relationships.
At the end of the survey people were encouraged to talk about anything else they
wanted to add (see appendix). A few of the comments included the idea that social media
allows people to romanticize their life only showing the positive aspects of their life, this
relates to the ideal online persona theory. This information is important to analyze to
recognize how much of an impact SNSs have on our societal norms and cultural mindset.
These developments in culture have an impact on how we interact with one another in all
our interpersonal communication, not just in a romantic sense.
Limitations
There are several limitations to this study, one example is the lack of diversity.
The majority of participants were Caucasian women. It would be beneficial to have a
wider, more diverse sample size that is outside my established Facebook and Twitter
friend group. If I were to do another study, I would include some questions relating to the
individual’s sexual orientation. Sexual orientation has a significant role in a person’s life,
and it could be interesting to gain more information about another demographic. Future
studies could also look more directly at what SNS has the most weight when it comes to
the sharing or spreading of romantic relationships. I speculate that it would be Facebook,
as seen through my survey, it is the most used social networking site.
Conclusion
This study was significant to analyze the nature of social media as it is now the
primary way that young adults stay connected. As technology continues to advance, it
can have both negative and positive effects, therefore, we must investigate its role in our
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personal relationships. This study also demonstrates the potential for further research into
how people interpret messages shared through SNSs. By looking at how social media is
specifically impacting single people, we achieve a more diverse insight into a lesser
researched demographic. Results found that single young adults have a strong desire to be
in romantic relationships and social media does have a significant influence on their
perceptions of romance. This information allows us to better understand the implications
of the shift of societal norms as social media becomes a more vital role in our lives.
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Appendix
Q1 - What is your gender?
# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std Deviation Variance Count
1 What is your gender? 1.00 4.00 1.86 0.49 0.24 51
# Answer % Count
1 Male 17.65% 9
2 Female 80.39% 41
3 Nonbinary 0.00% 0
4 Other 1.96% 1
Total 100% 51
Q2 - What is your age?
What is your age? Percent Number
17 y/o 5.88% 3
18 y/o 13.73% 7
19 y/o 13.73% 7
20 y/o 17.65% 9
21 y/o 29.41% 15
22 y/o 3.92% 2
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23 y/o 9.80% 5
28 y/o 1.96% 1
32 y/o 1.96% 1
43 y/o 1.96% 1
Q3 - What is your race?
# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std Deviation Variance Count
1 What is your race? 1.00 6.00 1.37 1.24 1.53 51
# Answer % Count
1 White 90.20% 46
2 Black or African American 1.96% 1
3 American Indian or Alaska Native 0.00% 0
4 Asian 1.96% 1
5 Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander 0.00% 0
6 Other 5.88% 3
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Total 100% 51
Q4 - Are you currently in a romantic relationship?
# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std
Deviation Variance Count
1 Are you currently in a romantic relationship? 1.00 3.00 1.98 0.37 0.14 51
# Answer % Count
1 Yes 7.84% 4
2 No 86.27% 44
3 It's Complicated 5.88% 3
Total 100% 51
Q5 - Do you want to be in a relationship?
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# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std Deviation Variance Count
1 Do you want to be in a relationship? 1.00 3.00 1.78 0.69 0.48 51
# Answer % Count
1 Definitely yes 37.25% 19
2 Probably yes 47.06% 24
3 Neutral 15.69% 8
4 Probably not 0.00% 0
5 Definitely not 0.00% 0
Total 100% 51
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Q6 - How do you feel that you are not in a romantic relationship?
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Q7 - What types of social media do you use? (select all that apply)
# Answer % Count
1 Facebook 19.60% 49
2 Twitter 14.00% 35
3 Instagram 17.60% 44
4 Snapchat 16.80% 42
5 Tumblr 3.60% 9
6 YouTube 14.80% 37
7 WeChat 0.00% 0
8 Pinterest 13.60% 34
Total 100% 250
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Q8 - How many hours do you spend on social media per week?
# Field Minimum Maximum Mean
Std Deviation Variance Count
1 Hours on Social Media 3.00 70.00 24.14 15.72 247.02 51
Q9 - How often do you see people post about their relationship/significant other?
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Q10 - Have you ever used the phrase "forever alone" before?
# Field Minimum Maximum Mea
nStd
Deviation Variance Count
1Have you ever used the
phrase "forever alone" before?
1.00 5.00 2.20 1.44 2.08 51
# Answer % Count
1 Definitely yes 47.06% 24
2 Probably yes 23.53% 12
3 Neutral 3.92% 2
4 Probably not 13.73% 7
5 Definitely not 11.76% 6
Total 100% 51
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Q11 - Do you ever feel pressure to be in a relationship?
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Q12 - Would you say your perception of love/romance has changed because of social media?
# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std
Deviation Variance Count
1
Would you say your perception of
love/romance has changed because of
social media?
4.00 8.00 5.12 1.15 1.32 51
# Answer % Count
4 Definitely yes 35.29% 18
5 Probably yes 39.22% 20
6 Neutral 7.84% 4
7 Probably not 13.73% 7
8 Definitely not 3.92% 2
Total 100% 51
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Q13 - Is there anything else you would like to add?Social media romanticizes everything and only shows the happiest portions of life, including relationships. It really weakens my confidence in myself to see that other people have apparently found their soulmate/someone that makes them incredibly happy and I have no one.
Sex isn’t as fun when you’re not dating them.. I’ve tried it like 40 times
love is love is love is love and LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
being single in a world that romanticizes so many things can get lonely but for me I sometimes feel empowered in vein my own person and not succumbing to the belief that having a significant other makes your life betterPeople worry so much about being in love and falling in love, but what they don't realise is if they can't love themselves then how can anyone else truly love them?The couples that constantly post about each other seem to have a superficial relationship and never last very long. Just an observation I’ve made...
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References
Coyne, S.M., Stockdale, L., Busby, D., Iverson, B., & Grant, D.M. (2011). “I luv u 😊!”:
A descriptive study of the media use of individuals in romantic relationships.
Family Relations, 60, 150-162.
Fox, J., Warber, K.M., & Makstaller, D.C. (2013). The role of Facebook in romantic
relationship development: An exploration of Knapp’s relational stage model.
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(6), 771-794.
Halpern, D., Katz, J.E., & Carril, C. (2017). The online ideal persona vs. the jealousy
effect: Two explanations of why selfies are associated with lower-quality
romantic relationships. Telematics & Informatics, 34(1), 114-123.
Lenhart, A., Anderson, M. & Smith, A. (2015). Social media and romantic relationships.
Pew Research Center.
Rus, H. M. & Tiemensma, J. (2017). “It’s complicated.” A systematic review of
associations between social network site use and romantic relationships.
Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 684-703.
Sanchez, A. (2014). Social media use and intimate relationships. California State
University, 36-42.
Seepersad, S. (2014). #foreveralone: When did it become cool to admit you were lonely?
Psychology Today.
Taylor, S.H. & Bazarova, N. (2018). Revisiting media multiplexity: A longitudinal
analysis of media use in romantic relationships. Journal of Communication, 68(6),
1104-1126.
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