“No, you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's like
To be like me To be hurt To feel lostTo be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my life”
~ Simple Plan
Did You Know?
The word “Bully” meant the total opposite of what it means now.
Five hundred years ago, “Bully” meant friend, family member or sweetheart.
Direct Bullying
Physical – hitting, kicking, pushing, stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things, making someone do something they don’t want to do.
Verbal – name calling, teasing, insulting, threats, intimidation.
Indirect BullyingRelationship/Social Bullying – gossiping,
spreading rumors and lies about someone, making someone feel left out or rejected.
Cyber Bullying - harassment using technology (email, Instant Messaging, websites, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)
Cyber Bullying
Percentage of all youth reporting bullying online (message boards, Instant Messaging, e-mail, cell phone, chat rooms, blogs, profile sites):
Insults - 66%Threats - 27%Sharing embarrassing pictures - 18%Privacy violation - 25%Password theft – 33%
Journal of School Health, 2008
Bullying in school is against the law
Illinois is 1 of 47 states that have anti-bullying laws for schools
Workplace Bullying
Ongoing mistreatment that may include- Verbal and non-verbal abuse- Threats, humiliation, and intimidation- Interfering with work
Workplace Bullying is against the law in Illinois
The Healthy Workplace Bill guides employers and employees
Illinois was the 15th state to introduce the Healthy Workplace Bill
www.healthyworkplacebill.org/bill.php
Healthy Workplace Bill
National Crime Prevention Council
• Want power• Have a positive attitude toward
violence• Have quick tempers• Have difficulty following rules• Like hurting people and believe they
are rewarded (attention, material goods) from their bullying
People Who Bully - 1
• Lack concern for others• Are concerned with what they want
rather than what others may want• Find it difficult to see things from
someone else’s point of view• Are willing to use others to get what
they want
People Who Bully - 2
National Crime Prevention Council
abillitypath.org
Why People with Disabilities may be the
Target of Bullying
People with disabilities who are bullied often stand out as being different
Signs of Possible Bullying
• Physical Changes• Emotional Changes• Behavioral/Social Changes
National Crime Prevention Council
Physical Changes
• Cuts, bruises, scratches, broken bones
• Headaches, stomachaches• Damaged possessions • “Missing” possessions that need to
be replaced• Missing money
National Crime Prevention Council
Emotional Changes
• Withdrawal and/or shyness• Anxiety• Depression• Aggression
National Crime Prevention Council
Behavioral/Social Changes
• Changes in eating or sleeping habits• No longer wanting to participate in
activities once enjoyed• Beginning to bully siblings and/or
friends or mistreating family pets• Hurting self, attempting or
threatening suicide• Suddenly changing friends
National Crime Prevention Council
Other Changes
• Not wanting to go to school or work• Changing method of going to school
or work (changing walking route, wanting to be driven instead of riding the bus)
• Drop in grades or change in work habits
National Crime Prevention Council
When you notice changes…
• Ask to meet with the person in safe place of the person’s choice
• Gently point out the changes you’ve noticed• Ask the person to share what has happened or
is happening• Listen and be fully present with the person• Ask yourself, “Is this a behavior or is it a
response to trauma?”
Reasons People Don’t Stand Up for the Victim
• The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with.
• They agree with the bully because it makes them feel strong.
• They’re entertained by the bullying.• They don’t think speaking up will help.• They’re afraid that if they say something,
the bully will hurt them.• They are afraid of being called a “tattletale”.
Tattling versus Telling
Tattling – Is trying to get someone in – Is trying to get someone in trouble.trouble.
Telling – When you tell about bullying, – When you tell about bullying,
you are helping someone else. you are helping someone else.
It’s Not OK! A video highlighting The Arc Greater Twin Cities’ abuse prevention initiative.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
feature=player_embedded&v=T1YzH9nPfLE
Put a Stop to Bullying
• Speak up• Encourage others to speak up
“Cut that out!” “Stop that!” “That’s not funny!”
“You’re hurting him/her”
• Make friends with someone who gets picked on
• Tell a trusted person
Are You Bullying Others?
• Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things?
• Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?
• Are you bullying someone because Are you bullying someone because you have been bullied? you have been bullied?
Stop Bullying Others!
• Apologize to people that you have hurt, Apologize to people that you have hurt, and follow it up by being respectful.and follow it up by being respectful.
• If you are having a hard time feeling If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. boost your self-esteem.
• If you feel like you’re having trouble If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to someone about getting anger, talk to someone about getting help.help.
Strategies for Agencies/Organizations
• Involve self-advocates, family members, staff, and your local sexual assault center
• Implement a policy against bullying• Implement a comprehensive bullying
prevention program• Provide training for everyone• Investigate bullying incidents and work
with people involved to prevent future incidents
National Crime Prevention Council
7 Things To Do When Someone Tells You of
Bullying1. Keep things private2. Recognize how hurtful bullying is3. Share if you have been bullied4. Help the person figure out what he/she can
do about the bullying5. Let the person know that he/she can come
to you in the future6. Help the person advocate7. Check in
Adapted from“the are word”, Dave
Hingsburger
Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., 2007
Undoing the Damage • Help the person feel good about himself/herself• Help the person to feel safe within his/her world• Help the person to find his/her gifts and talents• Help the person gain control over moods and
feelings• Support the person in accomplishing goals• Start or join a support group• Get help from a professional
The Power of Power
There are three kinds of power in the world:
– POWER OVER “I’m in charge - you’re not.”
– POWER WITH“Let’s work together as equals.”
– POWER WITHIN “I am a strong person inside!”
Special Thanks To… - 1
• CTF Tigers
• Sertoma United
• Walk a Mile in Their Shoes: Bullying and the Child with Special Needs, A Report and Guide from AbilityPath.org
• PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center
• Dave Hingsberger
Special Thanks To… - 2
• Det. Andrew Palese, Delaware State Police, School Resource Officer
• DeKalb County School System
• National Crime Prevention Council
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