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Ruth Vennetta Naylor
We do not cry alone
We do not laugh alone
No matter how joyous or hard to bear, someone has gone before
My Grandmother has gone before
My Grandmother laughs with me
My Grandmother cries with me
By Michael Shaw
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Ruth Vennetta NaylorThis biography is a compilation of the memories and pictures fromRuths daughters Mary Lou Shaw,
Venetta Abbott, Janet Dutton,Chrissie Abbott and Ruths sisterVerna Cleverly.
My grandmother, Ruth VennettaNaylor, passed away July 15, 1957about 12 years before I was born.My mother has informed me that
when I was a small child, I wouldsometimes ask older ladies if they
would be my grandmother. Writingthis biography has allowed me tobecome closer to her.
Ruth Vennetta Naylor was born onOctober 4, 1904 in Salt Lake City,Utah. She had multiple rolesincluding, daughter, sister, wife,mother, provider, stepmother, andgrandmother. Her life like many of ours was a fabric of many differentstories and relationships. Throughthese different events and roles, thesignificant people in her life such asher children, family and friendsviewed her from different vantagepoints. Her spirit remained strong.Out of the ordinary, theextraordinary is accomplished. RuthVennetta Naylor was extraordinary.
Just one year before Ruth was born,her father, Frank Sefton Naylor wasa prison guard and involved in afamous prison break in October1903. He barely escaped death threetimes. During the attempted breakout as he stooped to push the bell to
warn the other guards, a bullet whizzed over his head. When he
stood up a bullet hit the gun handlehe was carrying across his chest andit glanced off. Finally, he met face to
face with one of the prisoners. Theprisoner had a gun. The prisonerpulled the trigger. The gun clicked.
The gun was empty, miraculouslysparing Franks life.
Frank Sefton Naylor and Rhoda LoisLaird were married March 9, 1904 inSalt Lake City.
Frank Sefton Naylor and Rhoda Lois LairdWedding Photo, March 1904
Ruth was born on October 4, 1904and from the very beginning of Ruths life she overcame the odds. In1956, Venetta, Ruths daughtervisited the home where her mother
was born. Frank Naylor describedRuth as a baby to Venetta. He said,"When your Mother was born she
was so small we put her in a shoebox, she was so tiny, and then weput that shoe box on the openedoven door on our big kitchen range to
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keep her warm. We didn't know if she would make it, but she did."
Ruth at about 6 months old
Ruth about 1908
Ruth about 1908
Childhood years
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The Naylor Family lived in Salt LakeCity until 1910. During that timeRuth became an older sister to Loisand Frank Sefton Jr.
Between 1910 and 1921, the Naylorslived in Plano, just outside of Rexburg, Idaho. Ruths father wentinto the sheep and farming business.
Ruth helped her parents with choresas well as tending her youngerbrothers and sisters. Ed Naylor,Ruths little brother, called her MamaRuth. They had a specialrelationship.
Two other brothers, Marvin andGarth were born. Ruth was thefavored child of her father. She wasactive and daring when she was
young. Chrissie Abbott
Ruth about 1917
Eighth Grade Graduation
Mother was proud of her graduationfrom the eighth grade in Rexburg,Idaho. She taught us that school
was very important. Encouragement was for us to attend every schoolday, if possible. She had a strict rulethat if you stayed home from school,
you must stay in bed. No flimsyexcuses were accepted. Mary Lou Shaw
Around 1920
Mother had cardiac insufficiencyanorexia, or as she and everyone
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else called it Leakage of the Heart. The valves did not completely closeas they should so she never hadsufficient oxygen in her blood. Thiscame about when she was sixteen as
the result of rheumatic fever. Hersister Lois had it, too, and shortlyafter Mother had a heart attack, (Iam using the words she used), andthat is when Grandpa Naylor decidedto move away from Rexburg,Idaho, to a lower elevation becausehis girls couldn't make it wherethey were living; they had difficultybreathing and couldn't get enoughoxygen. They moved to a farm in
Nampa, Idaho, by train. Venetta Abbott
When Lois and Ruth were older, they would sometimes contend about whohad the worst heart problem or whohad accomplished more consideringtheir condition. They both died fromheart failure within three months of each other in 1957.
While living in Nampa, Ruth metAustin Abbott. Austin wrote aboutmeeting Ruth in his biography.When George and the girls came outthey paused on the church steps.
The sun cast a light upon Ruthlighting her up. Ruth stepped asideand came and sat by me. From thenon I had a date with Ruth when Icame home every Saturday evening.
June 25, 1924 Ruth went from beinga daughter and older sister to being a
wife. She married Austin NealAbbott in Salt Lake City, Utah. As acouple, they lived in Nampa, Idaho.On April 25, 1925, she became amother of her first daughter, Lou(Mary Lou Shaw).
Austin, Ruth and Others on an outing near Nampa
After Ruth had her first child, hermother, Rhoda, had another child.Verna was born September 14, 1925and was Ruths youngest sister.Both Ruths daughter Lou and hersister Verna were born in the Naylorhome on Sunny Ridge in Nampa, ID.
The Naylor Family Frank, Lois, Ed, Sefton,Garth, Marv, Ruth, Rhoda, Verna
Ruths second daughter, Ruth Fay(Fay), was born February 6, 1927.During child birth Ruth had a neardeath experience. She rose up tothe ceiling and saw herself lying inthe bed, Grandma Naylor and theDoctor working with her then she
went toward the bright light, it waslike a tunnel of ultra bright light. Atthe end there was a personage there
who told her to go back because her
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work was not finished, which shedid, and woke up in the bed. Venetta Abbott
Ruth named her third daughter
Venetta. When Venetta was born,March 5, 1930, Grandmother Naylorand Verna came to care for Ruth.Venetta was born at home and momstayed in bed for ten days. Shestruggled to walk when she first gotup. Mary Lou Shaw
Fay said, Oct. 2003, telephoneconversation with me: Motherloved babies, she said they were
pure, they had just come downfrom heaven and being with God. Venetta Abbott
Ruths children: Lou, Fay, Venetta and Neal
Ruths fourth child, Austin NealAbbott Jr. Neal was born August 3,1932.
Ruths daughters: Venetta, Fay, and Lou
There were difficulties in Ruth andAustins marriage. She took her four
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children and separated from Austinfor almost a year. Around 1933 sheand the children lived with herparents in Utah.
The following picture was taken atthe Sugarhouse studio in Salt LakeCity and was taken after Neal wasborn (August 1932). We had left Dadand were living with mothers folks inSLC. Its the beautiful one with thefur and the pearls. She told me theybelonged to the Studio. She has afingerwave popular in the 30s. She
was 28 or 29, mother of fourchildren. -Venetta Abbott
Ruth Vennetta Naylor
Ruth and her children did return toNampa and Austin.
During the summers from about1927 to about 1940 Ruth and herfamily would occasionally travel to
visit her parents at their ranch inHobble Creek, UT.
The Naylor Ranch in Hobble Creek about 1933
The LDS Church asked Ruth to be ateacher in Primary. She taught the Trail Builder boys. Ruth Abbott wasapprehensive and nervous aboutteaching this group. She heard they
were quite rowdy but what a terrific job she did with them! When Janet was born, March 18, 1937, the TrailBuilder boys came to visit. Motherasked them to choose a name for thenew baby. The chosen names were
tied on Ruth or Janet. They askedme to break the tie. Fays full name was Ruth Fay Abbott, so the lot fellto the name of Janet. Mary Lou Shaw
Ruths daughter Janet
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I remember Mother rocking herbabies to sleep singing Go tell AuntLucy her old grey goose is dead sir.
The one that she's been saving tomake a feather bed sir. Second verse
same as the first. It was really verydelightful hearing her sing andseeing her nestling the babies androcking them. Mary Lou Shaw
From 1929 to 1937 Ruth and herfamily lived on 316 19 th Ave South inthe town of Nampa, Idaho.
316 19 th Ave South House (Picture taken yearslater)
When we lived in town, she soldsome of her homemade candy to thepinochle card playing groups. Sheexcelled in candy with divine divinity,creamy fudge with walnuts, andtaffy. Cooling the candy on a heavilybuttered platter was one techniqueshe had. The candy rarely, if ever,
went to sugar. Mother enjoyedplaying cards, especially with ourneighbors, Louise and ErnestFrazier. Mary Lou Shaw
In 1937, they constructed a house inthe country on South Power LineRoad. Our parents purchased theproperty from grandfather, JohnAustin Abbott. Mary Lou Shaw
Fay wrote a poem about Ruthsbrother Ed coming to help dig a welland repair their house.
UNCLE ED STOOD TALL
Ed offered to help Mom re-locate, The half built house was in a terrible state,Problems were too great to anticipate.
A Greek-like God of the human race,Eds body moved with dignity and grace.He soon changed the pace of the new homeplace.
Everyone knew Ed was his own man,But without being asked, hed lend a hand,From digging a well, to tilling the land.
Ed climbed to the roof and shingles flew, The leaks stopped, he knew what to do,As a fix-it man, Ed was a guru.
The fish Ed caught brought cheers of acclaim,A sharp shooting hunter with deadly aim,Ed filled the table with birds and game.
We cried when Ed went home in the fall,Going back to school was a demand call,Uncle Ed, with the sparkling eyes, stood tall.
- Ruth Fay Callahan
After we moved out on the acreage,Mother invited the Trail Builder boysto come out there. They would ridetheir bikes out and build caves alongthe drainage ditch. Even though they
were out of Primary they would cometo the parties we had there. One timemy grandfather, John Austin Abbott,
entertained them. He told us abouthis mission to New Zealand, playedhis accordion and did a Maoridance. Mary Lou Shaw
Fay wrote about the walk she andher Mother had to the Lantern LightParade from the house on South
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Power Line Road. This happening was a double treat for me because when you are a member of a largefamily, it is very difficult to get yourMother alone for a private chat. I
learned at an early age the value of listening to this woman who had onlybeen schooled to the eighth grade,but had managed to earn a master'sdegree in life by studying humannature. She always seemed to know
why people did things. My dreams,disappointments, fears, andaccomplishments were put in theirproper place after she had looked atthem with her profound insight. She
was a rare human being who valuedexcellence and could inspire othersto search for the larger self, lurking
within, trying to burst out. A meanbrother became the brave and nobleson, pesky sisters became virtuousdaughters, or else! Fay Callahan
Venetta had a conversation with Fayin which Fay said, in essence:Mother knew me, she always knew
what I needed. Once, when we livedon South Power line Road in Nampa,Idaho, she took me down to thebasement (which was only dug outunder the back porch) to the farcorner away from the water pump,and told me that this was my place, Icould come down here and haveprivacy, that it was no one else'shideout, it was my secret place. Atthat time in my life that was just
what I needed. It was cool in thesummer, and warm in the winter,and I loved having my own space in
which to think and dream. Venetta Abbott
Two more children were born. JohnFrank was born June 18, 1940 and
Chrissie Eveline was born September19, 1942.
Ruths son John and daughter Chrissie Eveline
Austin Abbott was excommunicatedin 1941 from the LDS Church forteaching false doctrine. (Ref: FHLC:007518-2513 pt.3; LDS WardRecords.)
In 1944, Ruth and Austin decided tomove from Nampa to IndependenceMissouri. They took a roundaboutroute traveling along the coast of California in a Panel Truck.
On that trip, Stephen Edward wasborn on September 3, 1944 in GlenEden Beach Oregon.
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Ruth and Stephen about 1948
In Independence Austin and Ruthseparated and it eventually ended in
divorce
Ruth in Independence about 1948
September 14, 1948, Mother
divorced Austin Abbott. (CourtRecords Bk 117 pg 210). I went withher to the proceedings inIndependence. Dad had already leftthe family and gone to Salt Lake City,inviting all to go with him. No one
wanted to go. During their uglybitter quarrels through the years, he
had threatened her that the children would be restored to him. Mary Lou Shaw
There was intensified fighting and
bickering before the divorce. Austinleft in June of 1948 when I was 5and I was fearful. There was fearthat Austin would kidnap his
younger children. Our mother hadto care for and support all of thefamily except for our sister, Fay, who
was with Joe Callahan. Five of uschildren were in school, our youngestbrother Stephen was only three, andour oldest sister Lou was a young
adult. After Austin left, the familycontinued to live above the SugarBowl Caf in Independence, MO untilabout 1949. Mother had therestaurant on the first floor fromOctober 1944 until October 1947
when the RLDS church, who ownedthe property, wanted to use it for abakery whose owner was a memberof their church. The family, which
was now comprised of the four littlekids Janet, John, Chrissie andStephen then moved to Skelly Innon HWY 40 near Lees Summit.Mother had the caf downstairs and
we lived above it. Later we lived off Independence Square in thebasement of Dagwoods Caf onLexington Ave. The basement had adirt floor. Mother worked in the cafupstairs. Chrissie Abbott
Ruth was a great cook and allthrough her life she prepared
wonderful meals and shared them with family and friends. Beef, pork,chicken fried steak, hamburger meatloaf, chicken, trout, salmon, bass,catfish, chicken and dumplings,potatoes and gravy, vegetables, corn,
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tomatoes, salads, jellos, fruits,desserts, and home made root beer
were the things she prepared. Shereceived compliments andappreciation for her cooking. Before
we found and settled in the SugarBowl, mother had a dream that she was cooking for a lot of people. Mary Lou Shaw
Ruth
Ruth met Henry Dutton and theyeventually married December 17,1951. He did not care for uschildren but loved Ruth. I felt Henryoften made Ruth choose him or herchildren. Henry had a connection
with Judge Randall, a prominentpolitician, who influenced Henry intomoving to a rural wooded acreagethat would soon become a hugerecreational area called Lake
Jacomo. Our family moved out of Independence to Blue Springs, MOand into a home without running
water on 40 acres. Our mother andHenry built a small house there. Theroof and siding of the house wereconstructed of metal sheeting. Hownoisy it was during the rain and hail
storms! Later we moved into a largefarmhouse nearby which was also on40 acres with a cistern for our watersupply. The farms and woods werepeaceful places for me. It was a time
when I richly enjoyed the beauty of nature. Chrissie Abbott
1951
Ruth and Henry Dutton
On January 25, 1955, Ruth wrote aletter to, Mary Lou. Mary Lou had
just given birth to Mary a stillborn.
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It is so terrible to lose the baby andone never knows about such things
why they happen. Of course we areto be tried in all ways. I guess it isthe way we act when trials come to
determine what kind of people weare. I guess if we pray for strength we can go through anything. I feelsorry for you as that seems soterrible to go through. - Ruth Dutton
The handwritten letter:
Probably the summer of 1955, thekids and I were at her place in thecountry near Blue Springs, MO, in
the big farm house. My children were 3 and 5. We were in herbedroom, which was downstairs.Suddenly she grabbed a hairbrushoff the dresser and said to Buz and
April, Im your mamas mama, do you want me to spank her? They were wide eyed so she repeated itand said I mean it! Then the two of them broke out into wide smiles andnodded their heads yes. She
whacked me I was startled- andthen she said Shall I do it again?
The kids were delighted, busynodding and saying Yes. She
whacked me on the bottom a couple
more times. By this time, the kids were laughing so she did it somemore. I wanted to get out of there.When she stopped, she laughed andsaid, See your mama can bespanked, too.When I saw howdelighted they were and laughing outloud, it helped me to realize it is noteasy to be small. She knew themand understood. -Venetta Abbott
June 1955
In the spring of 1956, Mother cameto visit us at 615 Haggin Ave, NorthSacramento. She wanted herchildren to see the Pacific Ocean.Mother sat high on the beach withher back to the ocean. (She had
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received her fill of camping on thebeach in 1944 when we lived in alean-to-shelter with a camp stove inSouth Laguna Beach, California.World War II was in full process and
we could find no other place to live.For that moment in time, the Abbottsbecame beach bums.) Gayle andKeith liked visiting their grandmother(Abbott) Dutton. They enjoyedswimming in the ocean with Venetta,Chrissie, John, Stephen, and us. Onthe way home, we stopped at theMilk Farm for yummy milkshakes,etc. Bob Shaw and Henry Dutton
were the drivers. Mary Lou Shaw
Ruth went to visit her father andsiblings in Utah.
The Naylor Family in 1956 Ed, Garth, Marv,Sefton, Verna, Ruth, Frank, Lois
Janet said (telephone recordedmessage): Hey, Venetta, in theswimming pool this morning Iremembered what was so wonderful
about Mother, when we had littlekids was when Mother became ourfriend, then she was our friend, butbefore she was Mother. I don't know,but it was the sweetest relationship
when I had children, and when she went to Atchison when Lynn wasborn the doctor said she was the best
grandmother he ever had seen. Janet Dutton
March 1956
Venetta reported Mother told meabout going to Atchison and being
with Janet when Lynn was born, she was elated, her eyes were shining asshe tried to express to me the miracleof birth, and how thrilled she was tobe there, to witness it, to be with
Janet. This happened in March of 1957, shortly before she became ill.She died in the summer of that yearVenetta Abbott
March 1956 Janet Dutton, Mary Dutton, BobDutton and Ruth Dutton
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When Mother was sick, she hadbeen in the hospital a long time, thedoctor let her come home for a brief time. She was bedfast and living inthe two-story farm house in Blue
Springs. I went out to see her withmy kids. She was lying in bed in thebedroom just off the living room onthe ground floor, and we looked infrom the open doorway, she calledApril and Buz, "Come Buzzy, ComeApril, come on in and see me. Theyran to her side, Buz held her hand;April leaned on the edge of the bedand talked to her. Soon I came intoo, she was really too weak to have
visitors. But she called to the kids,she wanted them. Venetta Abbott
Ruth Dutton
Chrissie wrote a school paper two years after her mothers passing and
here are some excerpts from thatessay written September 11, 1959.
A very wise man once wrote, Wenever know the value of water until
the well runs dry. During our lives we often neglect or fail to appreciatethe things we have until they aregone My mother always had timefor us. She would see that ourneeds, whatever they might be, weremet. She was both mother andfather to us. Our religious education
was very important to her. Shealways saw that we made it tochurch and Sunday school every
Sunday morning. in 1957 shecalled me into her room one day afterthe doctor had left and had me listento her heart. It was faint andirregular She told me that sheknew she didnt have too muchlonger to live. I returned to my roomand prayed hard that she would live.
There were many more prayers afterthat, and although the prayers didntkeep her alive, I know they did helpher My mother passed away on
July 15, 1957. Chrissie Abbott
Ruth was an exceptional person.From the very beginning of her lifeshe experienced hardship. Evenafter having rheumatic fever at agesixteen and then developing a severeheart condition, she accomplishedextraordinary things includingraising eight children. She lovedthem. Compiling the accounts of herlife has brought me closer to her.Now as I see Ruths descendantssuch as nieces, aunts or even myown daughters, instead of seeing justthem, I see glimpses of mygrandmother as well.
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