THE LION WHISPERER
An RD ORIGINAL ... 64
12 HOURS OVERBOARD From THE NEW YORK
TIMES MAGAZINE
96
MANAGING TEcH AND TODDlERS
From TODAY’S
PARENT
82
TRaNSPLaNT daISy
cHaIN: a SON’S STORy An RD ORIGINAL ... 90
MaRgaRET aTWOOd’S
bRuSH WITH dEaTH From ELLE CANADA ... 76
QUOTES fROM fAMOUS cANADIANS ............ 144
14 WAyS TO GREEN yOUR HOME ...................... 29
HOW TO GET BETTER cUSTOMER SERVIcE ..... 135
JOkES: AS kIDS SEE IT .....................................109
APRIL 2014
MOST READ MOST TRUSTED
EVEN AFTER
EATING & DRINKING
†Germs that cause plaque & gingivitis when used after brushing.Fights cavities. Always read and follow the label.
Colgate-Palmolive Canada Inc. *TM Reg’d/M.D.
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� $" THE LION WHISPERER
Kevin Richardson uses his bond with Africa’s big
cats to help save them. @716/@2�>=>:/9
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� %$ A CLOSE SHAVE
Margaret Atwood recounts a near-death
childhood experience. 4@=;�3::3�1/</2/
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Do tablets inhibit children’s creativity?
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� '� CHAIN REACTIONS
One kidney donation can change many lives—
including your father’s. 8/A=<�/<23@A=<
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A lobster fisherman’s fight to survive. >/C:�B=C56�4@=;�B63�<3E�G=@9�B7;3A�;/5/H7<3
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E-cigarettes’ doubtful effectiveness as a cessation
tool. /:3F/<2@/�97;0/::�4@=;�3::3�1/</2/
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A young family’s first trip abroad dredges up
parental insecurities. 6/<</6�AC<5�4@=;�3<@=CB3�
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activism can have real-world
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change. 1=C@B<3G�A63/
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� � The Anti–Tiger MomVancouver psychiatrist and
mother of three Shimi K. Kang
on her book The Dolphin Way
and why balanced kids are best. ABp>6/<73�D3@53
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Sorrows. 3;7:G�:/<2/C
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cure-all? E3<2G�5:/CA3@
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and nutritionist weigh in with
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AT MY GRANDMOTHER’S TABLE there was an unspoken three-serving minimum. If you ate less than that or paused too long mid-meal to converse, you were met by Grandma Ritter’s penetrating look of
worry followed by a “What’s wrong?” The lesson was clear: dodging a serv-ing of dumplings was tantamount to rejecting a hug.
This food-as-love ethos has crossed generations—and species. I was not the only creature subjected to heartfelt feedings. My grandparents lived in Que-bec’s Eastern Townships and took it upon themselves to provide sustenance for the local fauna. There were cardinals, blue jays and woodpeckers. There
were also raccoons, deer, skunks and the occasional fox. Every evening, my grandparents would prepare
platters of food to set outside their picture windows. As a girl, I delighted in watching the nightly banquet. I now know that feeding wild animals can be harm-ful to them, but I understand what motivated my grandparents: a desire to nurture nature.
Grandma Ritter would have loved this month’s profile of Kevin Richardson (“The Lion Whis-perer,” page 64), who is working to protect Afri-ca’s big cats. Richardson’s relationship with these animals is unique—they accept him as part of the pride. He is on a remarkable mission.
Our own Robert Goyette is on a different mis-sion, exploring Australia and its outback. He
returns next month.
Dominique Ritter, Managing Editor
Editor’s Letter
Animal Instincts
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FO
OD SAFETY TIP
Food poisoning can be avoided by handling food safely. Still, many older adults go about their daily food preparation routines, inadvertently putting themselves and others at risk. For adults 60+, food poisoning can go beyond just that. As you age, your body is less able to fight off harmful bacteria. This puts you at greater risk of food poisoning and developing serious health complications. A few easy changes to the way you handle your food at home can go a long way in protecting your health.
Learn more and get your free Safe Food Handling guide at
HealthyCanadians.gc.ca/FoodSafetyGuide or call 1 800 O-Canada
Steve’s home cooked meal came with
a side dish he wasn’t expecting.
Thaw food in the fridge,
especially raw meat,
poultry, fish or seafood.
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(“14 Ways to Green
Your Home,” page 29)
6][S�POaS( Toronto. >`SdW]caZg�^cPZWaVSR�W\ The Huffington Post. BVS�PWUUSab�[WaQ]\QS^bW]\�OP]cb�U]W\U�
U`SS\�Wa that it requires huge life-style sacrifices. Incremental changes can have an impact. 7�U`Se�c^�W\�/T`WQO� and there’s a proverb there: “If you think one small thing can’t make a difference, you’ve never spent a night with a mosquito.”
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(“Te Uncle Michael
Show,” page 23)
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eOa overwhelmed with an emotion I can’t explain—part pride, part joy and part affection for birth control.
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(“Past Lives,” page 122)
6][S�POaS( Dundas, Ont. >`SdW�]caZg�^cPZWaVSR�
W\ Time and The New York Times. 4]`�µ>Oab�:WdSa�¶ I combined earth tones and a palette of warm, satur-ated colours on a dark background to represent the parental history be-ing uncovered. EVS\�[g�ROR�¿`ab�QO[S�b]�1O\ORO� my mom stayed in Italy. Maybe I’ll find letters they exchanged one day, but I’m doubtful. They tend to get rid of old things.
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(“Te Lion Whisperer,”
page 64)
6][S�POaS( Johannesburg, South
Africa. >`SdW]caZg�^cPZWaVSR�W\ Toronto Life and The Walrus. <]bV�W\U�^`S^O`Sa�g]c�T]` the sight of lions tackling Kevin Richardson. Their love for him is astonishing. EWbV�^S]^ZS��VS¸a very socialized and savvy. The pride has taught him a lot about how gregarious creatures interact, and it seems to hold him in good stead across the food chain.
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Contributors�
REDESIGN REACTIONS
The February edition of Reader’s
Digest was a great improvement.
I was impressed by the interesting
articles and appreciated the new pa-
per stock for its lack of glare. Keep
up the good work.
D7=:/�30G��C a rd s t o n , A l t a .
Wow! What a necessary change to
your reputable magazine. Now
there’s some fire to it. Congratula-
tions. D/:�E7::7A��O t t a w a
I enjoyed the February issue for its
good mix of stories and the nicer pa-
per stock, which feels more like book
paper than the glossy magazine pa-
per you were previously using. The
new finish is much easier on the eyes.
9:/CA�/��A16;72A@/CB3@��Ha m i l t o n
I hate the new format. The paper
feels dry, rough and gross to flip
through. Plus, the number of car-
toons, my favourite feature, has
been reduced. 07::�=@@�=<�4/130==9
TRIED-AND-TRUE
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A LOVING POSTSCRIPT
After reading about other couples’ romantic stories in “Love, Actually” (Feb. 2014), I wanted to share my own. Originally from Brazil, I was in Italy in 2006 having dinner by myself when a man came over and
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asked if he could sit at my table. At first sight, I thought he was Ameri-can and, just to be polite, said yes. He told me that he was Canadian, and I soon found myself happily sharing stories about my life. I was leaving very early the next morning,
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so we exchanged email addresses, and when we said goodbye, I gave him a kiss. He was a bit surprised, but began writing, then visiting me in Brazil. We dated for three years until we decided it was time to be together forever. I’ve been living in Canada since April 2009, married to my best friend.
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P o r t E l g i n , O n t .
VALUABLE INFORMATION
I grew up with Reader’s Digest in my home as a child and feel it’s the best little magazine out there. I’ll be sending “Coming Into Focus” (Feb. 2014) to my daughter, as she has a 22-year-old son with ADHD. He is now engaged and has a great job, but his doctors are still trying to find the right dosage for his medications. The article offered many insights into this troublesome ailment.
:=C7A3�63/@2��P o r t C o l b o r n e , O n t .
A REGRETTABLE CHOICE
February’s Olympic-themed Word Power asked readers to guess the definition of the term “Kreisel.” The provided answer includes a sentence about a luger named Nodar who was well aware of the finesse needed to negotiate the course’s long, circu-lar turn (the Kreisel). During the 2010 Winter Olympics, Nodar Kumaritashvili was the 21-year-old luge athlete from Georgia who was
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killed during a training run after los-ing control of his sled. How you could use the name Nodar in this ex-ample is beyond me—it’s completely inappropriate.
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DIVISIONS OF LABOUR
It would be wonderful to read more articles like “Power Moms and Their Househusbands” (Jan. 2014), about stay-at-home parents, whether moms or dads. The point made by one of the fathers, that “your kid doesn’t want a nanny. Your kid wants you. Your kid needs you,” is one I agree with. I thoroughly en-joyed being a stay-at-home mom and could not imagine raising a family any other way. How refresh-ing to read that some women may be the bigger breadwinners and that some men may have more suitable temperaments for child rearing.
0/@0/@/�>C@2G��Ux b r i d g e , O n t .
ANIMAL RESCUE
“The Adoption Option” (Jan. 2014) mentions the possibility of having to pass on a purebred when choosing a rescue dog. As someone who volun-teers her time helping shelter pets find a home, I can tell you that this isn’t usually the case and could de-ter people from adopting. Purebred rescue dogs are often taken from shelters and brought to private res-cue groups specialized in particular
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breeds. Using a site like petfinder.com, you can easily search reputa-ble rescues in your area to find a specific type of dog, or even cat, to adopt. :=@7�1/;>03::��To r o n t o
ANOTHER LIFE SAVED
Thank you for publishing Elechia Barry-Sproule’s letter, “A Life Saved” (Nov. 2013), about how “Minutes From Death” (Aug. 2013) alerted her to the symptoms and dangers of blood clots. I came across her letter while waiting for an appointment with my general practitioner. At the time, I’d been experiencing calf pain for about two weeks, to the point where I couldn’t walk on my leg. I wasn’t planning to discuss the issue with my GP, but after reading the letter, I reconsidered. An ultrasound was scheduled for the following day, during which a blood clot was found. The imaging centre sent me directly to the ER, where they also found a clot in my lungs. I spent over a week in the hospital and will be on blood thinners for the rest of my life, but I’m also grateful be-cause it could have turned out so
much worse. Keep up the great pub-lishing—I love Reader’s Digest from cover to cover.
B/<7/�5��13@;/9��C a l g a r y
YOUTH AT RISK
“The Itch Factor” (Nov. 2013), about the rise of shingles, fails to mention that children can also be infected. My daughter was only nine months old when she caught a bad case of the chicken pox and nine years old when she suffered through an itchy and painful episode of the shingles. Two other young children I know have also had shingles. Your readers should be aware of the possibility. <7B/�4/7@��C h a r l i e L a k e , B . C .
ERRATUM
During the editing of February’s
issue, an error was introduced into
reader Kim Ellsworth’s letter, when
Calgary was incorrectly identified
as Alberta’s provincial capital. We
apologize for the mistake.
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Going green matters to me because…
Visit the Reader’s Digest Canada Facebook page for your chance to finish the next sentence.
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It also benefits us right now.
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�! ON THE SECOND day of his
hunger strike, Yeb Saño realized he
needed to ratchet up the pressure. As
the climate negotiator for the Philip-
pines, Saño blamed global warming
for Typhoon Haiyan, which had rav-
aged his country days earlier. On Nov-
ember 11, 2013, he had announced he
would fast until the delegates at the
UN Climate Change Conference in
Warsaw, Poland, reached a “meaning-
ful outcome” about carbon emissions.
Saño had a plan but lacked a plat-
form. So he posted a petition with
Avaaz, an online activism organiza-
tion that allows its over 33 million
members to register support for an
issue by doing nothing more than
entering an email address and hitting
send. Almost immediately, hundreds
took up Saño’s cause. They donated
money, spread the word on social
media, even joined the strike. One
week later, the petition had drawn
600,000-plus signatures.
“The Internet is a force multiplier,”
says Ricken Patel, Avaaz’s 36-year-old
founder. “It can make any process
faster and more efficient.” The plan-
et’s largest activism network, with
members across 138 countries, Avaaz
can mobilize public opinion on any
international issue in any part of the
globe. Founded in 2007, it has worked
to stop sex trafficking in Hilton Hotels
& Resorts and defended Masai
Change Agent0G�1=C@B<3G�A63/
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VIEWSVOICES
“Avaaz has helped
prove that we are
citizens of the
world first, and of
our countries
second.”
land rights in Tanzania. It has raised
over $55 million—funding democ-
racy groups in Zimbabwe as well as
anti-homophobia initiatives in Costa
Rica—and helped marshal more than
10,000 rallies, flash mobs and vigils.
“Imagine a mom who’s just gotten
in from work and has a few minutes
to check her inbox before making
dinner,” says Patel. “She’s heard
about an issue on the radio—Syria,
say—that upsets her. Our petitions
offer an effective strat-
egy for taking action.
Having done that, she
might start donating to
that cause or talk to
friends and family
about it.”
It’s called an engage-
ment ladder—where
small acts lead to bigger
ones—and, according to Sidneyeve
Matrix, a media professor at Queen’s
University in Kingston, Ont., Patel is
one of the few to have perfected it.
“He has made it easy to give, easy to
get involved,” Matrix says. Storybook
endings are rare in activism, so
Avaaz’s victories are a matter of im-
proving upon a desperate situation.
It was the first NGO, within days of
Burma’s 2008 cyclone, to bring relief
funds—$2 million—into the country.
Raised on a farm outside of Ed-
monton, Patel remembers his older
brother drilling political ideas into
him as a toddler. By Grade 2, he was
reading a history book a week. That
upbringing bred an idealistic curios-
ity about the world that eventually
triggered his decision, at 28, to spend
four years as a conflict analyst in war
zones like Sierra Leone and Liberia.
Non-profit think tanks sent him to
meet cabinet ministers and warlords.
Then, from the conversations, he
would draft proposals on how the in-
ternational community could better
serve that country.
It was challenging
work—“I came up
against the open sores
of our planet”—but it
led to an insight that,
when Patel returned to
New York in 2005, pro-
vided the seed for the
company that today
employs 100 people
across 18 countries. “What I had wit-
nessed were failures of collective ac-
tion,” he says. “Governments knew
the right thing to do. They didn’t do
it because citizens didn’t demand it.”
In Saño’s case, Avaaz helped sway
delegates to commit to modestly re-
ducing fossil emissions targets. With
climate change a priority for 2014,
preparations have begun for a mas-
sive march to coincide with the UN’s
Climate Summit in New York this
September. “I used to think saving
the world was all about having pas-
sion,” he says. “Motivating others is
just as important, if not as sexy.”
For Avaaz,
small acts
lead to
bigger ones.
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more than a few keystrokes away
when Facebook users share typo-
laden updates:
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@3A>=<A3( Yes, weekends.
>=AB( I swear 2012, if you bring
me a year of happiness and no
stress, I won’t take it for granite.
@3A>=<A3( Yes, I want 2012 to
bring something beautiful. Some-
thing I can really marble at.
>=AB( Is it just me or does
nobody have manors these days?
@3A>=<A3( I just have a
normal house.
>=AB( I can’t stand people that
don’t know the difference between
your and you’re. There so dumb.
@3A>=<A3( Their, their, calm down.4`][�abcRS\bPSO\a�Q][
Today’s date is xi.xii.xiii, which is
significant because it looks like a
child doing jumping jacks so well
that a crowd starts to form.
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DEE TELLING HIS
JOKE WITH LAYAR
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The Anti– Tiger Mom0G�ABp>6/<73�D3@53
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Your book could be seen as a response
to Amy Chua’s pro-authoritarian
memoir The Battle Hymn of the Tiger
Mother. What did you think of it?
The ethnic undertones hit a nerve:
I was offended because the entire
Eastern and Western worlds were
painted with a broad brush. Fellow
psychiatrists reacted strongly to the
idea of pushing kids so hard. I saw
parents justifying their behaviour
with this book, which has no scien-
tific evidence behind it.
How did you land on your book’s
dolphin metaphor?
I’m the youngest of five children,
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so I grew up with a pod mentality.
I’ve long used the term “dolphin
parenting” in my practice when I
want to recommend things like play,
community building and altruism.
Dolphins are clear authority figures
for their young, joyful, helpful, and
they sleep eight hours a day.
You place a great deal of import-
ance on play. What’s an easy way
to integrate more of it into our lives?
The simplest thing is to free up time
from scheduled activities. If you un-
plug the TV and open the door, kids
will play—even if they complain at
first. Playing is in our nature.
What is one of the most common
challenges facing kids today?
Again, it’s time. We don’t realize the
importance of sleep or the difference
between social bonding and socializ-
ing. Even siblings aren’t bonding any-
more; the house has become a pit
stop on the way to activities. Dinner
together is increasingly difficult, de-
spite there being overwhelming evi-
dence that eating as a family is vital.
What’s the biggest change in parent-
ing in the 21st century?
Fear. How’s my kid going to get into
university? Get a job? Thrive in
this globally connected world?
These worries have caused a lot
of well-intentioned parents to
tip their families off balance.
Chua’s book prompted a dialogue
about our fixation with Ivy League
schools. You went to Harvard, but
your parents weren’t Tigers.
So many innovators—and I met
many of them at Harvard—will tell
you stories of having free childhoods.
There are two ways to become ex-
ceptional in a discipline: you can do
it through balance or imbalance.
A Tiger Parent might argue that a
Dolphin Parent has lower expecta-
tions for their children. How would
you respond?
At the risk of using more animals, I’d
bring up the fable of the tortoise and
the hare. The hare bolts out of the
gate and gets tired and falls asleep,
and the tortoise is slow and steady
and wins the race. The Tiger Parent
is misguided in thinking that the end
goal is performance. The end goal
is the ability to adapt to the ever-
changing world. A Dolphin Parent’s
expectations are far greater than
academics or sports or leadership.
What’s important is a sense of joy,
health of body and mind, and mak-
ing a clear contribution to the world.
Finish this thought: Parenting is…
A privilege.
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Carrot Cake
Makes: 12 servings
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups (375 mL) shredded carrots
• 1/2 cup (125 mL) plain yogurt
• 1/2 cup (125 mL) unsweetened applesauce
• 1/4 cup (125 mL) vegetable oil
• 1 tsp (5 mL) vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup (180 mL) all-purpose fl our
• 3/4 cup (180 mL) whole wheat fl our
• 3/4 cup (180 mL) SPLENDA®
No Calorie Sweetener, Granulated
• 1 1/2 tsp (7 mL) cinnamon
• 1 tsp (5 mL) baking powder
• 1/2 tsp (2 mL) baking soda
• 1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt
• 1/4 tsp (1 mL) nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp (1 mL) ginger
• 1/2 cup (125 mL) raisins
icing sugar (if desired)
Directions
Lightly beat eggs; stir in carrots, yogurt, applesauce, vegetable oil and vanilla.
In a large bowl, combine remaining ingredients, except icing sugar. Stir in carrot mixture, mixing until well blended. Spread evenly in greased 9-inch (23 cm) square baking pan.
Bake at 325°F (160°C) for 35 to 40 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in centre comes out clean. Cool on rack. Dust with icing sugar if desired.
for more recipes, join the
SPLENDA® recipe club at splenda.ca
a classicwith less added sugarENJOY
Nutritional Information: Serving Size 1 piece (1/12th of cake). Calories 153, Protein 4 g, Fat 6 g, Carbohydrates 22 g
© McNeil Consumer Healthcare, division of Johnson & Johnson Inc. 2013
�! I DON’T LIKE KIDS. I find
them irrational, inconsiderate, irre-
sponsible and far from self-suffi-
cient. Their taste in music is
derivative, clap-heavy. Urine often
ends up where it shouldn’t. Don’t
get me wrong: I respect the propaga-
tion of the species. And I enjoy the
act of reproduction, if not the result.
But I don’t want kids, which has
been an issue both in romantic rela-
tionships and with my parents. I do,
however, have children in my life.
Children I love.
That last sentence would contra-
dict my opening sentiment, if not for
the fact that being an uncle is rife
with contradiction. My sister has two
kids, Finn and Piper, seven and five
respectively. I think. I mix up their
ages. But they’re important to me,
maybe as important as anything in
my life.
I have no illusions about my role
as an uncle. I am to provide know-
ledge that my sister, brother-in-law
and parents won’t: appreciation of
David Berman and The Muppets,
how cheering for the Toronto Maple
Leafs is a sin, why a degree in fine
arts is a bad idea. I’m in their lives
to explain the tangible result of mis-
takes. The curse of regret. The intri-
cacies of the broken heart. You
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know, stuff a single 30-something writer with commitment issues and insurmountable debt is an expert in.
They, on occasion, teach me (which is humbling). Piper espe-cially. Her intuition is beyond her years, and at times frightening. One day, she asked me why I didn’t have any children, and I launched into a diatribe about love; about error; about a girl who was there and then wasn’t. Piper took a moment to con-sider this and replied, “Uncle Mi-chael, you have no children because you are alone.”
That kind of honesty is refreshing, born of innocence and limited vo-cabulary. It reduces life to its es-sence. When once asked what Uncle
Michael’s job was, Piper responded, “Hmm. Watching baseball?” Close enough. After I made Finn a soup he really liked, he asked, “Uncle Mi-chael, have you ever considered working in a restaurant?” Unbe-knownst to him, I did, for 15 years, before leaving for the riches of Can-adian literature. For a second, he made me wistful for that time.
But my favourite responses are triggered when I warn them that Uncle Michael’s remarkable run of less-than-moderate success means I’m going to live with them when we’re all older. I share these visions of dependency, of asking them for money, of having these children—who have yet to discover the won-ders of caffeine, unexpected victory or happy hour—bail me out. To these playful notions rooted in adult truths, they laugh, “Uncle Michael, you’re silly,” as if the reality of my fears is humour itself.
My parents think I’ll eventually have kids—when I get older, when I find success, when I meet the woman who makes me. But I remain steadfast in my uncledom. This is the closest to having progeny I’ll ever get, and I worry about them growing up, listening to One Direction, morphing into Yankees fans, becoming experi-mental poets. But for the time being, I will treat them to banana smooth-ies, scatological humour and too much TV. What’s not to love?
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Clara’sBig Ride
Going the distance for mental health.
As the spokesperson for Bell
Let’s Talk, Clara Hughes will kick
off her Big Ride across Canada on
March 14 in an effort to help end the
stigma around mental illness. She’ll
be pedalling through every province
and territory in the country, stopping
in 95 communities and covering
more than 12,000 km over 110 days.
Help Clara keep the conversation
rolling. Share the ride. Join the
conversation. Raise funds.
bell.ca/clarasbigride
#ClarasBigRide
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Food and music, for me, they’re all the creative process. It’s artistic ex-pression. They start with a seed of an idea, development of an idea, re-finement of that developed idea and then presenting it for the public to consume, whether orally or aurally.
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I suppose I could say that I am look-ing for a different kind of inner quiet, and I have a few ways to get there. Own less stuff, try to meditate and maybe even find a non-nurtur-ing yoga class. But really, I just want to say yes more often than I say no and be open to whatever comes with love and gratitude (and listen to more Slayer).
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Mental health is the weakest link in our health-care system, but more important, it is still the issue that hides away from much conversa-tion. There are still too few places outside a health-care setting where the issue is addressed, as if mental health and addiction are still taboos not to be mentioned in polite company.
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All the government scientists I know tell me that it’s never been worse. It’s like an Iron Curtain has been drawn across the communication of science in this country. And I think there’s reason for all of us to be worried about that.
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We all have our bumps and bruises,
the things that we’re hiding. I’m
here to tell you that asking for help,
being more open with your experi-
ences, seeking support, is worth it.
The quality of my life today, the
quality of my relationships, the peace
that I have within myself, is all a
direct result of that hard work of
unravelling the past.
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Maybe the “trivial” is just a failed
version of the “everyday.” The every-
day, or the commonplace, is the
most basic and the richest artistic
category.
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If it means my death at the end, so
be it. I’m going to die anyway, and
it’ll be a more interesting way to
go—that’s for sure.
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I figured if you were hired to work
for the PMO, you didn’t need a psy-
chotherapy session every afternoon
to figure out how you were feeling.
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There are 68 countries in the world
where straight people and gay peo-
ple in a group would all be arrested
simply for being together. In 10 of
those countries, I would be executed
simply for being gay. So there’s a lot
of work still to be done.
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In today’s fragmented digital world,
where everyone is constantly sharing
bits of themselves with the public,
including celebrities who perform
roles for a living, the line between
true and fabricated has disinte-
grated, and what’s really interesting
is the space in between. Right?
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Curate Your Kitchen
Change #1: Toss those chemical cleaners (responsibly—take them to your local hazardous-waste drop-off centre) and make your own general-purpose cleaner. Mix ½ cup white vinegar, ¼ cup baking soda and 2 litres water. Pour into a spray bottle and tackle household grime.
Change #2: Animal agriculture accounts for up to 18 per cent of global warming. Adding a single meatless meal to your weekly plan-ner will help you save money—and the planet.
Change #3: Grow your own sprouts in a Mason jar. Pop a few holes
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in the lid, rinse ¼ cup organic lentil sprouts and soak them overnight. Drain the water through the holes and rinse twice a day. Leave the jar in a warm, sunny spot, and you’ll have healthy salad fixings in a couple of days.
Add Life to the Living RoomChange #1: Did you know your ap-pliances consume electricity even when shut down? Five to 10 per cent of the energy used in your home is siphoned for standby power. Unplug TVs, chargers, com-puters, coffee makers and stereos, or use power bars with built-in tim-ers to turn off electronics you don’t mind being reset.
Change #2: That “new carpet smell” is actually an airborne cock-tail of nasty chemicals. Talk to your installer about how to properly vent your home in the first 72 hours af-ter installation and give the carpet a good vacuuming. To be seriously green, consider fire-resistant, bio-degradable and non-toxic natural-fibre carpets like wool, sisal, coir and seagrass.
Green Your Garage Change #1: Your daily car com-mute contributes to climate change, so get the family walking
or biking at least once a week. If self-powered travel isn’t possible, use public transit (it can save a Canadian family a monthly average of $586, according to the David Su-zuki Foundation) or consider ride sharing. High-occupancy vehicle lanes help speed up your commute; check online to find carpooling sites that offer rides to your local transit station.
Change #2: Create word art with-out having to inhale noxious paint fumes. Combine a handful of moss, 2 cups yogourt, 2 cups water and ½ teaspoon sugar in a blender, and mix until smooth. Dip a paintbrush in the mixture and paint words onto any rough surface (a garage’s outdoor wall is ideal). Spray with water regularly, and you’ll soon have inspirational moss graffiti.
Garden SmartChange #1: Every year your old gas mower produces as many
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greenhouse gas emissions as a car driven 3,300 kilometres. Unless you’re the proud owner of a family of sheep, there’s no need for all that grass. For a complete revamp, con-sider lawn alternatives like micro-clover, verbena, sweet woodruff, cotoneaster, thyme and camomile; perennial ground covers take work to install but don’t require much water, and you won’t have to spend weekends cutting the grass.
Change #2: To keep pesky pests at bay, use natural pesticides such as marigold flowers, coffee grounds or an easy-to-make all-purpose spray consisting of 1½ tablespoons liquid soap, 1 litre water and 5 drops lemon essential oil.
Change #3: Reduce water usage by installing downspout extensions from your eavestroughs to direct rain to your flower beds.
Love Your LookChange #1: Ditch your mercury-, formaldehyde- and lead-laden cosmetics for homemade mascara and eyeliner. Mix 1 teaspoon coco-nut oil, 1 teaspoon shea butter, 1½ teaspoons beeswax, 4 teaspoons aloe vera gel and 2 capsules acti-vated charcoal (available at health-food stores). Use a brush to apply as eyeliner or a comb for mascara.
Change #2: Concerned about harmful substances in your tooth-paste? Pop 2 tablespoons dried lemon rind, ¼ cup baking soda and 2 teaspoons sea salt in your blender, and mix until it forms a fine powder. Dip your wet tooth-brush in and brush as usual.
Beautify the BedroomChange #1: Textiles and clothing account for four per cent of materi-als in Canadian landfills. Repair old clothes, organize a clothing swap with friends or donate to a local charity.
Change #2: Make a calming laven-der air freshener to encourage relax-ation and restfulness. Mix 8 drops lavender oil, 4 drops clove oil, ½ cup vodka (a natural deodorizer) and ½ cup water, and place in a spray bottle. The vodka will kill germs, while the soothing lavender sends you to sleep soundly.
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Marrying With Children0G�53=@53�;C@@/G
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�! EVERYONE KNOWS divorce
can wreak fnancial havoc. But enter-
ing a new marriage can be just as
dicey, particularly when two fami-
lies—complete with kids, assets,
debts and expectations—come to-
gether. When I became a single dad
after 10 years of marriage, I was at a
loss—emotionally, socially and f-
nancially. Besides learning how to
navigate the legal pitfalls, the reac-
tions of our friends and custody of
our boys, there was also the division
of our home equity, arrangement of
child support and concerns over pen-
sions, among other sensitive fnan-
cial matters. I swore I’d never get
entangled again.
Years later, I’m back at it—I’m get-
ting married this summer. Stepfami-
lies now make up 13 per cent of
Canadian households with children.
Almost half of those are blended
families, with children from the new
and former relationships, or in
which both partners bring children
from previous unions, like mine
will be. In our case, we recently
bought a house large enough for
six, and while we keep our money Ã
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relatively separate, we haven’t
thought about what this blending
might mean financially. So I went
looking for help to answer how we
can best protect our relationships,
families and bank accounts.
B63�075�@3D3/:
Disclose all assets and debts in a
frank conversation. “The people en-
tering blended families tend to be
older and have more,” says Chris-
tine Van Cauwenberghe, vice-
president of advanced financial
planning with Investors Group
in Winnipeg. Lay every-
thing on the table so you
can create a realistic bud-
get for your new family.
03�4/7@
“When one person has more
than the other, in terms of in-
vestments and RESPs,” says
Van Cauwenberghe, “it can lead to
animosity if one set of kids is headed
off to Harvard, while the others can’t
go to school at all.” Take into consid-
eration whether and how to help the
financially strapped partner catch up
on debts, savings and investments.
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A pre-nuptial agreement for marry-
ing couples is worth the trouble. Van
Cauwenberghe recommends a clear
conversation about wills and power
of attorney. “Who will manage your
affairs if you become sick? The new
spouse or the children?”
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Deborah Dilworth, a tax profes-
sional at Artbooks in Toronto, says
there are many benefits and trans-
fers you may be eligible for and oth-
ers you’ll lose—like your amount for
an eligible dependent under 18,
only available to single parents and
worth about $11,000 in credits. To
offset this loss with gains—such as
combining medical expenses, dona-
tions, as well as amounts for
public transit and children’s
fitness and arts—Dilworth
says blended couples
should see the same ac-
countant to prepare their
returns going forward.
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Dilworth says, “If you’re living
apart before you get married and
each of you owns a home, you
should consider selling one of the
properties before you move in
together or get married.” Under
Canadian tax law, a single taxpayer
can designate one property as their
principal residence, but a family
unit can designate only one prop-
erty between them as their principal
residence. And selling a home while
it’s still your primary residence will
let you avoid paying capital gains
taxes on the sale.
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But not to worry if you’re short a yellowed recipe card with handwrit-ten instructions for the absolute best proportion of mustard to mayon-naise. Just combine a dozen yolks with a cup of mayo (250 mL) and a quarter cup (50 mL) of your favou-rite mustard, then add salt, pepper and paprika to taste—you’ll have a preparation worth handing down.
For creamier eggs, stir in a bit of butter. For spicier eggs, a few dashes of Tabasco or grated horseradish will do the trick. And there are those who won’t declare a devilled-egg filling ready until they’ve added a teaspoon (5 mL) of lemon juice and a tablespoon (15 mL) of pickle rel-ish. But by then, you’re just tinker-ing with perfection.
�! IF THERE’S ONE DISH you’ll fnd doubled or tripled up on in a Southern-style party spread, it’s devilled eggs. And even then, the folks who brought them aren’t likely to go home with leftovers. Te “devil” part? It’s not because they’re a source of temptation (though they are); it refers to the spices that add a piquant kick.
Southern cooks have lately taken to dressing up their eggs with vari-ous accoutrements—country ham, chilled shrimp, poached tomatoes. But connoisseurs will rightly tell you that what matters most is the spring-iness of the white and the tang of the yolk. To please the fussiest of guests, start with eggs a few days removed from the nest, since fresher eggs are frustratingly difficult come peeling time. Put the eggs into a pot, cover with a few centimetres or so of cool water, and bring to a boil. Once the water is sputtering, reduce the heat to a low simmer, and cook for eight minutes. To avoid overcooking the yolk, shock the eggs in an ice-water bath for 30 seconds be-fore peeling. Slice the eggs lengthwise, and remove the yolks.
If the boil-ing process is a science, doctoring the yolks is an art.
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Gay Lea Butter is made by farmers who bring every-thing to their craft. Because they don’t just own the farm, they own the dairy. GAY LEA. BORN ON THE FARM.
The Hilborn Family Farm,New Dundee, Ontario
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Miriam Toews knows tragedy. In
1998, her father stepped in front
of a train in Steinbach, Man.
Twelve years later, her older sister
committed suicide the same way.
Toews has always been a cathartic
writer—A Complicated Kindness
and Irma Voth plumb her knotty
relationship with her Mennonite
upbringing—and her latest is no
exception. It orbits around two sis-
ters: Yolanda, a divorcee seeking
true love, and Elfrieda, a pianist
with a death wish, whose latest sui-
cide attempt coincides with an im-
portant concert tour. Cutting and
compassionate,
the novel is
tinged with
poignantly
comic
insights
into love,
grief and
mental
illness.
April 15.
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The modern-day Louella Parsons
behind laineygossip.com has devoted
a book to the teachings of her mother,
an old-world mah-jong addict known
as the “Chinese Squawking Chicken.”
April 1.
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An examination of the
busyness epidemic be-
sieging North American
women that offers solu-
tions to mitigate the
madness. March 11.
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This captivating debut takes place in
an Arabian country where flying car-
pets, a despot who can hear citizens’
private thoughts and reality TV that
makes the Hunger Games seem tame
are the norm. March 11.
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Shakira is a force of nature. How else to explain that the Colombian superstar’s song “Hips Don’t Lie” surpassed all 21st-century smashes (sorry, Psy) to become the in-ternational top-selling single of the millennium? Currently one of the most powerful women in the world according to Forbes magazine, the singer took a break from her judging duties on The
Voice to focus on fine-tuning her self-titled 10th album, which features contributions from reli-able hitmakers like R&B singer Akon. March 25.
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The Man in Black may have died in 2003, but he was so prolific that
music from his golden years, long buried in the vaults, is just now seeing the light
of day. These early-’80s tracks are es-sential listen-ing for Cash completists. March 25.
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In the spring of 2011, “Pumped Up Kicks,” a deceptively mellow pop jam about fancy sneak-ers and school vio-lence, was everywhere. Three years later, Los Angeles trio Foster the People returns with a guitar-heavy collection inspired by a deep-seated disillusionment with consumer culture. March 18.
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Toronto’s Taylor Kirk has a creepy, cobwebby voice, which he uses to fantastic effect in his haunting tunes. On his fifth full-length album as Timber Timbre, he adds a technicolour jolt to his atmospheric soundscapes, which feature murky string ar-rangements and hyp-notic baritone sax riffs. April 1. �
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FOSTER THE PEOPLE’S
“COMING OF AGE” WITH LAYAR
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I WANT
MY ROUTINECrest® Pro-Health™ Multi Protection rinse helps prevent and reduce plaque and gingivitis. Crest® Pro-Health™ toothpaste fi ghts
cavities, plaque, tartar, gingivitis and tooth sensitivity. To ensure this product is right for you, always read and follow the label. ©2014 P&G
My smile is something I want to share
for years to come. To help keep it healthy,
I stick to my Pro-Health routine. And,
as a result, I always get to show off
my healthy smile.
SO I LOOK AS GOOD
AS I FEEL
A HEALTHY-LOOKING
SMILE
1 FLOSS 2 BRUSH 3 RINSE
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Like all good sci-fi, Orphan Black grapples with serious stuff like bioethics and the na-ture of human identity, but the heart of this Toronto-shot series is Tatiana Maslany. The Saskatchewan actor has been rightly lauded for her turn as British con artist Sarah Manning and a half-dozen other clones (including soccer mom Alison and Ukrainian assassin Helena) caught up in an experiment gone pear-shaped. The taut first season landed the show at the top of critics’ lists; Season 2 promises even more twists, wigs and accents. Premieres April 19 on Space.
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Footage of early explorers, stories by present-day settlers and voice -overs from the likes of Cate Blanchett are intertwined in this inventive true-crime doc about a 1930s Galapagos murder mystery. In theatres April 4.
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This early effort by Hollywood legend Don Siegel (Dirty Harry) explores the inner workings of a prison overtaken by inmates protesting brutal living conditions. On DVD and Blu-ray
April 22.
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Johnny Depp stars as an artificial-intelligence researcher who be-comes obsessed with his program to develop sentient computers. This thriller is a nightmare come true for
anyone who be-lieves in the
technological singularity and its cor-responding doomsday
scenarios. In theatres
April 17.
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SPECIAL FEATURE SECTION IN PARTNERSHIP WITH
HEALTHYSMILES
A healthy smile can make you feel confident about yourself and your appearance. But did you know that oral health is also linked to overall health?
The Link Between Oral Health & Overall Health
DENTAL CARE FOR CHILDRENA lifetime of good oral health begins by preventing cavities in childhood. Children need their parents' help to keep their teeth healthy and clean
and to establish good eating habits.
Before Teeth
You should clean your child's mouth even
before they have teeth. Use a soft baby
brush or wrap your finger in a clean,
damp washcloth. Brush or wipe all parts
of the gums and teeth. Don't use tooth-
paste until your child has teeth.
Under 3 Years
For children under 3 years old, an
adult should brush and floss their
teeth. Talk to your dentist about whether
to use fluoridated toothpaste. If your
child is at risk of tooth decay and you
decide to use fluoridated toothpaste,
use only a grain of rice-sized amount
(making sure your child spits out the
toothpaste). Otherwise use a toothbrush
moistened only with water.
From 3 to 6 Years
For children between 3 and 6 years
old, an adult should help them brush
and floss. Use a pea-sized amount
of fluoridated toothpaste.
Baby's 1stDentist Visit
The Canadian Dental Association recommends
infants see a dentist within 6 months of the
eruption of the first tooth or by 1 year old.
SPECIAL FEATURE
The Dental Exam First, the dentist will review your medical history to find out about any health conditions that may affect dental treatments or procedures or that may be associated with oral health problems. Tell your dentist if anything has changed since your last visit.
Your dentist will inspect your mouth for:
Q�Damaged, missing or decayed teeth
Q�Signs of cavities or gum disease
Q�The condition of previous dental work
Q�Signs of mouth or throat cancer, and suspicious growths or cysts
Q�Teeth positioning
Q�Signs of clenching or grinding
Q�Signs of bleeding or inflammation
Your exam may also include dental X-rays
and an examination of the neck.
What do dental X-rays show?
X-rays show cavities under existing fillings,
decay under the gum line and between the
teeth, fractures, impacted wisdom teeth,
and bone loss caused by gum disease.
They also show if children’s teeth are
erupting properly.
SPECIAL FEATURE
Dental Care for Seniors Your oral health and dental needs change as you age. You may have dentures or dental implants. You may take a medication that causes dry mouth or makes gums grow. A dentist will assess your unique situation and help you maintain healthy teeth and gums.
Dentures
Dentures (artificial or false teeth) should
be tended to as carefully as natural teeth
to keep germs and infections away.
Dental Implants
Dental implants act as tooth root substitutes,
providing a foundation for artificial teeth.
A metal anchor is surgically inserted into
the jawbone and gradually bonds with the
bone. An artificial tooth is then attached
to the implant. To support implants, you
must have healthy gums and bone under
the teeth.
Natural Teeth
Great news: older adults are keeping their
teeth longer than ever before. Not-so-good
news: seniors are more likely to have cavi-
ties develop around the root of the tooth.
It’s important to take good care of your
natural teeth and gums with daily brushing
and flossing and regular dentist visits.
Taking proper care of your teeth and gums is a lifelong commitment. Follow these simple steps to keep your oral health good for life.
SPECIAL FEATURE
ORALHEALTH
Goodfor Life™
4. Visit your dentist regularly.48% of Canadians who haven’t seen a dentist in the past year have
gum disease. Regular dental exams and professional cleanings are
the best way to prevent and detect problems before they get worse.
1. Keep your mouth clean • Brush your teeth and tongue twice a day.
• Use a soft-bristle toothbrush and fluoride toothpaste.
• Wait at least 20–30 minutes after eating before brushing your teeth.
• Floss every day.
• Look for oral care products with the
Canadian Dental Association (CDA) Seal.
• Eat a well-balanced diet.
• Limit foods and beverages containing sugar or carbohydrates.
• Ideal snack foods: cheese, nuts, vegetables, and non-acidic fruits.
3. Don’t smoke or chew tobacco.Besides ruining your smile, smoking and chewing smokeless tobacco
can cause oral cancer, heart disease, and a variety of other cancers.
Look for signs of gum disease:
• Red, shiny, puffy, sore
or sensitive gums
• Bleeding when you brush
or floss
• Bad breath that won’t go away
Look for signs of oral cancer:
• Bleeding or open sores that don’t heal
• White or red patches
• Numbness or tingling
• Small lumps and thickening on the
sides or bottom of your tongue, the
floor or roof of your mouth, the inside
of your cheeks, or on your gums
2. Check your mouth regularly
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�! JUST A DECADE ago, the word
“gluten” was foreign to many Canad-
ians. Now it’s become nearly as
ubiquitous as “low fat” on food la-
bels, and eliminating the sub-
stance—a mix of two proteins,
gliadin and glutenin, found in
wheat, barley and rye—from daily
diets is a runaway trend. But is going
gluten-free really the healthiest
course for everyone?
Before gluten-free diets became
the rage, it was mostly people diag-
nosed with celiac disease, a dietary
sensitivity first linked to gluten in
the 1950s, who were advised to stay
away from wheat. Celiac disease af-
fects only one in every 100 to 200
Canadians and is diagnosed
through a combination of a blood
test that detects antibodies and an
intestinal biopsy that looks for Ã
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damage to the small in-testine. In the 1980s, doctors began to notice that some of their pa-tients who didn’t meet the criteria for celiac disease nonetheless thrived without wheat. In 2011, doctors with expertise in celiac disease from seven countries met in Oslo, Nor-way, to define standards for diag-nosing and treating gluten-related disorders, and formalized the term “non-celiac gluten sensitivity.” That same year, a small, randomized study by Monash University in Aus-tralia of 34 patients with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) found those who ate bread that contained gluten were more likely to report
digestive pain, bloating, constipation, diarrhea and fatigue. And the trend began to grow.
With so few studies investigating how gluten affects us, we still don’t have enough informa-tion to determine
whether it’s truly a digestive irritant in people who don’t have celiac dis-ease. However, last August, the same Monash University researchers pub-lished a study in Gastroenterology in which they amended their original methodology and discovered gluten may be the wrong target. In the study, 37 participants with IBS who thought they had a gluten sensitivity thrived on a low-FODMAP diet. FODMAP stands for “fermentable
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DON’T LET LIFE SLOW YOU DOWN! The good news about getting older is that you know your body better than you ever did before. Taking care of your own health might feel like a change of pace af er years of looking af er everyone else,
but it is never too late to take charge!
PAIN CARE
Relieve your pain with TYLENOL®
We of en think of aches and pains as a
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diagnosed1. Take control of your pain with
the number one doctor-recommended
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NUTRITION
Have your cake and eat it, too.
They say that age is only a number, but
when it comes to calories, those numbers
count! Think sugar, say SPLENDA®, and
enjoy all the flavour with none of the
calories. With zero calories per 1 tsp
serving, SPLENDA® is the perfect way to
satisfy your sweet tooth without adding
the empty calories found in sugar.
WOUND CARE
Heal quickly with BAND-AID®
Brand & POLYSPORIN®
You likely notice that pesky cuts and
scrapes just don’t heal as quickly as
they used to. Take action right away.
POLYSPORIN® Ointment helps prevent
infection to speed healing of minor
wounds. BAND-AID® Brand bandages with
QUILTVENTTM Technology create air
channels for superior breathability. It is
important to have products on hand to
clean, cover, and protect you and your
family’s minor injuries, no matter what
life throws at you.
s There is no cost to join and you’ll get up
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s Earn Essential Rewards™ points, redeemable
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Sign up today at healthyessentials.ca.
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ADVERTISING
1 The Pulse Group Inc., 2013The HEALTHY ESSENTIALS™ program provides
information, solutions and exclusive off ers. © Johnson & Johnson Inc. 2014 * Trademark of Johnson & Johnson
oligo-, di- and mono-saccharides and poly-ols,” all of which are short-chain sugars that are poorly absorbed by the body, including fructose, lactose, fruc-tans, galactans (found in beans) and polyols (found in artificial sweeteners and pitted fruits). And when the researchers secretly added gluten (but not wheat) to the low-FODMAP diet, participants didn’t have a problem. The study hypothe-sized that fructan, a short-chain sugar found in wheat, could be the culprit, not gluten. And it’s possible those who do well without wheat might need to eliminate other foods, such as ones that contain polyols, or artificial sweeteners, for example.
Regardless of what science sug-gests, books like Wheat Belly have captured the public’s imagination and encouraged an overwhelming perception that gluten consump-tion leads to a slew of health prob-lems. With society’s fascination with food fads, especially quick fixes, the gluten-free industry is booming. A 2013 report by market research firm Packaged Facts esti-mates the gluten-free market in Canada exceeds $450 million; and the Gluten-Free Expo, where around 100 vendors hawk their cookies and crackers, will hit five
major Canadian cities this year. But there’s a danger to seeing glu-ten as the culprit for all of one’s health woes. “I think people far too quickly ascribe their medical prob-lems to gluten,” says Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, an
obesity expert and medical director of the Bariatric Medical Institute in Ottawa. Symptoms could be related to stress, a problem with the digest-ive tract like IBS or another food trigger, such as lactose. Before making the switch to a gluten-free life, keep a food diary and record the timing of your symptoms. Then make an appointment with a doc-tor or nutritionist.
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BLOATI
NGGAS
ABDOMINAL
DDISCOMFORT
ARE IBS SYMPTOMS MAKING YOU FEEL A LITTLE OFF?
AlignTM can help. Backed by 10 years of research, only Align hasB. infantis 35624, a patented probiotic strain that
relieves and manages Irritable Bowel Syndrome symptoms.Try Align today.
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†Among gastroenterologists who recommended a brand of probiotic in Source Healthcare Analytics, LLC 2012 survey.
©Procter & Gamble, Inc., 2013 PHC-12634
To ensure this product is right for you, always read and follow the label.
2014
HURRY!
Nomination
Deadline
June 13,
2014
NOMINATEA NURSE TODAY!Now’s your chance to make your nomination for the Best Health 2014 Nurse Excellence Awards!
Johnson is proud to once again present these important awards that recognize the dedication of Canada’s great nurses.
Three nurses from across Canada will be chosen to receive an award in the form of
a $1500 cheque donated, in their name, to a healthcare charity of their choice. We’ll
announce the award recipients in the September 2014 issue of Best Health magazine.
Visit besthealthnursingexcellence.ca to make your nomination today!
I’ve been training for my first half-marathon, and my right knee is killing me. Turns out I have runner’s knee. What can I do to ensure a safe and speedy recovery?
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Runner’s knee, sometimes referred
to as patellofemoral pain syndrome,
is a loose term associated with pain
behind and around the knee, partic-
ularly where the thigh bone and the
kneecap meet. It can be caused by
overuse, trauma, weak thigh mus-
cles, misalignment of the joints or
foot problems. Once the knee is
strained, kneeling, running or
squatting can trigger pain.
After getting X-rays and an MRI,
rest your knee, use ice packs, com-
press it with elastic bandages, ele-
vate it on a pillow, do stretching and
muscle-strengthening exercises at
least once a day and consider using
foot orthotics.
Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory
drugs are often recommended to
treat runner’s knee, but these can
cause serious and sometimes fatal
damage to the stomach over the
long term. A safe and effective alter-
native is to use such supplements as
curcumin, Boswellia and methylsul-
fonylmethane. Omega-3 from fish
oil and vitamin D supplements will
calm the inflammation. Physiother-
apy and massage can also help.
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First off, ensure you’re not eating
foods you’re allergic or sensitive
to, as gut inflammation can cause
swelling and pain in your joints.
Allergies trigger mast cells to release
histamine, causing the redness and
swelling that accompany knee
pain. Common allergens include
wheat, dairy and peanuts. Focus
on flax, chia and hemp seeds, and
wild salmon or smaller cold-water
fish such as herring, sardines and
mackerel, as these are your best
choices for high-powered, anti-
inflammatory foods and can help
speed up recovery.
Tart cherries may reduce joint
pain, thanks to pigments called an-
thocyanins, which have been shown
to lessen pain by reducing inflam-
matory markers in the blood. Kale
and Swiss chard are natural anti-
inflammatory foods containing
vitamin K, which has, in studies on
mice, lowered the chemicals the
body releases when it’s inflamed.
Ginger root can beat pain by inhibit-
ing the effects of arachidonic acid,
which is the fatty acid that’s respon-
sible for triggering the inflammation
you’re experiencing.
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Runner’s knee can occur for a num-ber of reasons, but one culprit might be this double whammy: tight, weak quadriceps (the group of muscles in the front of your thighs) and tight hamstrings (the opposing muscle group to the quads, found in the back of your thighs). This injury can occur when your kneecap tracks out of its normal alignment, causing irri-tation on its underside. Avoid ramp-ing up your running mileage or frequency too quickly, and scale back if you feel pain. Make sure your shoes are the best fit for your foot
type—staff at a running store can help. Do strengthening exercises for your quads on both legs, like ball squats—place a stability ball between your lower back and a wall as you squat—or step-ups on a low, sturdy bench. Loosen up leg muscles with stretching and a foam roller.
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�! One of the most mysterious
diseases around has television to
thank for upping its visibility.
House, the popular medical drama
that ran from 2004 to 2012, featured
the long-running joke “It’s not lu-
pus.” A go-to response for the
cranky Dr. House, it was trotted out
every time another diagnostician
posited that the chronic autoim-
mune disease was behind a pa-
tient’s bafing symptoms. Tere was
good reason for constantly suggest-
ing lupus, though: known as “the
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great imitator,” it can masquerade as a variety of other conditions. Because lupus occurs when the body attacks its own cells and tissues, the swath of possible symptoms ranges from hair loss to fatigue, from chest pain to arthritis. It all depends on which parts the overzealous im-mune system targets.
Making a lupus diagnosis even trickier is the fact that there’s no sin-gle test for it. Doctors must look at a battery of lab results, plus a patient’s current symptoms and medical hist-ory, before coming to a conclusion. Those eventually diagnosed with lu-pus are statistically more likely to be female (a staggering 90 per cent), between the ages of 15 and 45, and of African, Asian, Hispanic or First Nations descent.
An estimated 15,000 Canadians are affected by lupus, and the number of cases is increasing. Whether this means there are actu-ally more sufferers or that we’re just getting better at identifying them is unclear. Lupus can be trig-gered by certain medications used to treat seizures, high blood pres-sure or rheumatoid arthritis, so one might think that increased pre-scriptions are contributing to its rise. However, the ratio of lupus cases induced by drugs is around five per cent—too low to have a noticeable impact on the condition’s overall incidence.
One of the other unsolved issues of lupus is how to make it go away. We currently know only how to slow the damage and control the symptoms. But devising a cure is not out of the question, according to Dr. Robert La-hita, Lupus International’s chairman. “The progress made in treatment and diagnosis during the last decade has been greater than that made over the past 100 years,” he says on the founda-tion’s website. “It’s therefore a sensible idea to maintain control of a disease that tomorrow may be curable.”
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THE
LION WHISPERER
WATCH THE
LION WHISPERER IN
ACTION WITH LAYAR
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WHEN KEVIN RICHARDSON
steps through the gate
onto a stretch of pristine
South African grassland, time ap-
pears to ripple. The disturbance
causes a momentary abatement
in the roar of the cicadas; the only
sound is the crunch of dry grass un-
der his boots. Then the air shivers,
and half a metric ton of flesh and
muscle bursts from the veld: an adult
lion and lioness, their movements
so fluid they seem poured from the
bush. Before Richardson can prepare
himself, the cats paw his head and
bring him down.
“Bobcat! Gabby!” he coos. “Come
here, my babies!”
The lions flop on top of him like
kittens at play. Over the past 17
years, millions have watched similar
encounters on news segments and
nature channel shows: Richardson,
wearing shorts and a T-shirt, attacked
by several of the planet’s most fear-
some predators. Just as viewers brace
themselves for a bloodbath, a love-in
ensues. No number of YouTube clips,
however, can rival a live perform-
ance. The animals smell like dust
and death. They are not tame; they
are untameable. Somehow, because
of a skill or intuition he cannot name,
Richardson appeals to the softer ele-
ments of their nature.
We have seen the likes of this be-
fore, and we know how it ends. Croc-
odile Hunter, Grizzly Man, Siegfried
and Roy—all killed or injured by ani-
mals they claimed kinship with. Rich-
ardson, who has known these lions
since they were babies, insists he’s
different, but is aware of the risks.
“If I told you there are no issues as-
sociated with what I do, I’d either be
a liar or mentally unstable,” he says,
as Bobcat nuzzles his neck.
No animal behaviourist has ever
endorsed Richardson’s activities—
the prevailing theory is that lions
are too unpredictable to be trusted,
no matter how docile they may ap-
pear. The more persistent criticisms
come from park rangers who often
face considerable danger from large
carnivores while on patrol. Two years
ago, a ranger at Kgalagadi Trans-
frontier Park, a preserve bordering
Botswana, barely survived an attack
where he was dragged off an open
truck by a lion that grabbed his leg
between its teeth. It’s the kind of
threat 27-year-old Mosa Masupe
faces every day. Masupe is a ranger in
Botswana’s Mashatu Game Reserve,
home to several prides. He has fol-
lowed Richardson’s career ever since
he first surfaced in the media in 2000
as the “Lion Whisperer,” and like
many rangers who hear about Rich-
ardson, Masupe believes a gruesome
mauling is inevitable. “Those lions
will kill him,” he says.
In 2001, a lion called Tsavo busted
Richardson’s nose with a blow from
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mapped with scars. Even a gentle love
bite could nick a jugular, leaving Rich-
ardson to bleed out in the grass, alone.
“I’m not really worried, because it’s all I
know,” says Richardson’s wife, Mandy,
who has been with him for over 13
years and helps raise their two young
kids. “It’s what he’s done since I met
him. He’s so passionate about his work
that it’s contagious.” So contagious that
for years Mandy also worked as Rich-
ardson’s public relations point guard,
helping build his rough-and-tumble
reputation. “Have you seen any unto-
ward movements from these lions?” he
asks. “There’s no reason for me to hit
them or subdue them. They’re lovable,
social cats, man.”
Perhaps. But does a word like “lov-
able” apply to wild creatures whose
consciousnesses we cannot fathom?
Or is it a case, as the South African
writer J.M. Coetzee once put it, of
there being “no limit to the extent to
which we can think ourselves into
the being of another”? Clearly, Rich-
ardson believes that such empathy,
at least when it comes to lions, knows
no bounds.
RICHARDSON HAS DESCRIBED
himself as a self-taught zo-
ologist, but he is something
deeper—a medium between the
world of wild predators and those
who present a terminal threat to
their survival. In the wild, lions are
menaced from three main sectors:
the relentless spread of agricultural
land, in which 75 per cent of the
Richardson sprawls with adult brothers Tau and Napoleon in their enclosure.
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animals’ natural habitat has been converted into grazing fields for cat-tle; wildlife clashes, where farmers kill hundreds of lions a year in re-taliation for attacks on livestock; and endemic poaching by locals, who can make the equivalent of their annual incomes—about $6,000—by shoot-ing a single lion and selling the meat and bones on the black market. (Lion bones are an acceptable substitute in Asian tiger bone wine, said to boost virility. A status symbol for an ex-ploding Chinese middle class, a case of the potion can fetch as much as US$25,000 at auction.)
As a result, lion populations are be-ing decimated. In 1950, over 200,000 roamed Africa’s vast savannahs. The most recent estimates put the figure at 35,000. The International Union for the Conservation of Nature currently classifies the species as “vulnerable.” Stuart Pimm, a conservation biologist at Duke University in North Carolina who has spent his career studying present-day extinctions, calls it “a full-fledged crisis.” In addition to the ecological costs of knocking off an
apex predator, Pimm describes the loss of lions as an ethical defeat. “It’s a measure of the fact that we aren’t being good stewards. What sort of planet do we want to hand to our children and grandchildren?”
But as bad as things are for wild lions, notes Richardson, life is just as tenuous for the 5,000-plus in captivity in South Africa, raised to be slaughtered like chickens. (With the country’s wild lion popula-tion averaging 3,000, that means the majority of South Africa’s lions are in cages.) Most captive lions begin their careers as cubs on
breeding farms, enjoying the atten-tion of countless visitors. The cats will keep generating money until they’re six months old, at which point tourists will pay as much as $800 for an experience called “walking with,” in which a handler and his guests stroll through a patch of veld with a lion. Twelve months later, no longer adorable, they be-come fodder for tourists in a prac-tice known as “canned hunting.” In 2007 alone, 16,394 foreign hunters
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Richardson often
spends afternoons
in his sanctuary,
lying against the
cats while sending
emails from his
phone or tablet.
They like the
closeness, he says,
and it helps keep
their bond strong.
arrived to kill an estimated 46,000
animals, an industry the government
considers “a sustainable utilization
of natural resources.” According to
one report, 5,892 dead lions were
exported from the country between
2001 and 2011. The majority were
slaughtered in canned hunts.
In his videos, Richardson’s rough-
housing showcases these “natural
resources” as warm-blooded crea-
tures to an international audience.
As his YouTube views rack up, so,
too, does his ability to publicize the
plight of captive lions and, more
broadly, the perils facing a shrink-
ing wild population. Wrestling lions,
however, is the easy part. Saving
them is the real challenge.
WHILE RICHARDSON’S rug-
gedness suggests he was
born in the bush, his clan
hails from the lower-middle-class Jo-
hannesburg suburb of Orange Grove,
where citrus orchards long ago gave
way to family homes with postage-
stamp–size lawns.
When Richardson was three or
four, his dad helped him rear a baby
bird that had fallen out of its nest.
Dazzled by the experience, Richard-
son began to nurse other birds, un-
til, by the age of seven, he acquired
his first moniker: “The Bird Boy of
Orange Grove.” Weavers, pigeons,
mourning doves—broken birds by
the dozen were brought by neigh-
bours to the family’s home, and
Richardson would add them to his
growing aviary.
When Richardson was in his early
teens, his father died. He acted out,
drank heavily, stole cars, even rolled
his sister’s vehicle in a crash. He be-
gan to lose interest in his birds and
one day set the flock free. While he
once hoped to study veterinary sci-
ence, he was lucky to make it into
university at all, and even luckier to
escape with two years of zoology and
a bachelor’s degree in physiology
and anatomy. His work as a physical
trainer eventually landed him a job
at a Johannesburg facility called Lion
Captive-bred kin to these lions are sold
to hunting clubs for as much as $12,000.
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Park. But Richardson was barely in-
terested in his duties. He had fallen
in love with two lion cubs named Tau
and Napoleon.
He doesn’t properly understand
why, on his first visit, he stepped
inside the pen with the youngsters.
Richardson had ridden superbikes,
flown planes—so youthful machismo
may have played a part. Still grieving
his father, Richardson suspects he
was driven by the need to master his
fear of death. Regardless, the impulse
was foolhardy. “At six months a lion
cub is big,” he explains. “Check out
his claws, his teeth—the thing can
make a mess of you.”
No sane, unarmed wrangler will
stay in an enclosure with a lion older
than two and certainly no older than
four. Richardson ignored that policy
and spent as much time with the
brood as possible, bonding as they
grew into ornery adolescents and
then matured into strapping adults.
He discovered—as everyone else
at the park soon did—that he had a
sixth sense when it came to the cats.
He could ask them to stroll alongside
him, to roll on their backs to accept a
tummy rub. He used no coercion—
no sticks, no pepper spray. Lions, he
learned, are hugely social, and if wel-
comed into the pride, he wasn’t just
safe, but loved.
And so a brand was born. At 22,
Richardson became a star wrangler
at Lion Park—a glorified zoo where
his antics wowed guests eager to get
a taste of the bush in a contained
setting. But he realized that, by em-
phasizing Tau and Napoleon’s cute-
ness, he was contributing to a trend
that meant more cubs doing “cub
duty” in competing parks, and thus
more lions disappearing when they
became too old to manage. “You
could say I was part of the problem,”
says Richardson.
If he was to do right by the animals
he loved, he needed to both stoke his
celebrity and eliminate the need for
it to exist. Richardson began thinking
about moving away from Lion Park
and acquiring a facility large enough
to let his captive lions roam free for
the rest of their lives.
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RICHARDSON PILOTS a four-by-
four through the dirt tracks of
Welgedacht Game Reserve, 50
kilometres north of the South African
capital of Pretoria. A year ago, with
the help of donors, the Kevin Rich-
ardson Wildlife Sanctuary was estab-
lished here, on a privately owned plot
comprising 1,200 hectares of rolling
grassland. The sanctuary, which also
includes hyenas and black leopards,
is Richardson’s first opportunity to
run a park entirely how he sees fit.
Thirteen electrified enclosures,
each about a hectare in size, shel-
ter Richardson’s 26 lions of various
ages, many of which previously lived
at Lion Park.
Richardson parks his four-by-four
and makes for one of the enclosures.
Two lionesses, Meg and Amy, lope
up, and he’s on the ground in sec-
onds. Richardson has known the
sisters for 11 years, but after he left
Lion Park, they were sold to a breeder
and joined a pride that was too large.
Scared they were headed to a hunt-
ing shop, Richardson purchased the
animals back.
Retrieving Meg and Amy brought
home the importance of being in
control of his own facility. Outside
the sanctuary, the pair would likely be
pawns in a lucrative industry where
hunters pay as much as $58,000 to
gun down a full-grown male and up
to $10,000 for a female. The experi-
ence also inspired him to redouble
his efforts at curtailing the canned
hunt—joining conservation groups
in directly lobbying the South Afri-
can government; raising awareness
through fundraising and social media
campaigns; giving seminars across
the country and abroad about the
more repugnant aspects of the kill-
ings; and working with wildlife NGOs,
most notably Protecting African Wild-
life Conservation Trust, that have out-
reach programs with landowners.
The fear is that the industry is
simply too profitable to stop locally.
Richardson’s hopes—and the hopes
Like a reluctant superhero, Richardson
believes he needs to stay in character as
the Lion Whisperer or no one will pay
heed to threats facing Africa’s big cats.
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of environmentalists around the world—rest with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s recent decision to look into whether the African lion requires protection under its Endan-gered Species Act, which would pre-vent hunters without permits from bringing lion trophies into the coun-try. The one-year review of the clas-sification would also likely influence whether the Convention on Interna-tional Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES) de-cides to lift African lions to a CITES 1 categor ization—also under review.
“Lions are currently CITES 2,” ex-plains Richardson, “which means it’s totally legal with permits to hunt them and export the trophies.” CITES 1 categorization would ban
the exportation of heads, pelts, meat and bones to the United States, as well as the other 178 countries that implement CITES. Considering that the U.S. is by far the canned hunt’s largest customer base, “it would stop the industry in an in-stant,” says Richardson.
The last thing Richardson wants, however, is to end up with more li-ons in his sanctuary, a big reason his females are on contraception. His aim is for the captive population to plummet, and that means placing a nationwide moratorium on lion breeding—something advocated by many conservation groups, including Four Paws, an international animal-welfare organization that runs a lion sanctuary in South Africa.
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Richardson leans back against a
now supine Meg, ruffling her ears. “If
only tourists did the math and said,
‘Hey, where do all these cubs end
up?’” he says. “Would you come and
pet a cub knowing that, as an adult,
he’s going to get slaughtered? Would
you be happy?”
A WEEK OR SO BEFORE Christ-
mas in 2013, during one of the
violent storms that announce
the arrival of South Africa’s rainy sea-
son, a lion called Thor was felled by a
lightning strike. Thor was a white lion
in Richardson’s sanctuary, named for
the Norse god of war and thunder.
The lion had starred in many videos
and documentaries, most notably
the epic White Lion, which turned
him into a matinee idol. The circum-
stances of his death seemed like a
resounding tribute from above.
Richardson’s relationship with
Thor was not without its troubles.
On a film set five years ago, feeling
the pressure of all that money spool-
ing through the camera, Richardson
prompted Thor to attack an anima-
tronic lion one time too many. With
staggering speed, the 300-kilogram
animal lunged and grabbed Richard-
son’s forearm in his jaws, employing
just enough pressure to make his in-
tentions plain.
In the only way he was able, Thor
reminded Richardson that lions are
not circus performers and that the
intersection between friendship and
exploitation had been crossed. Rich-
ardson was ashamed. It took three
years for Thor to forgive him and in-
vite the Lion Whisperer back into his
social circle with a guttural grumble.
“When he died, I don’t think I’ve
ever cried more,” says Richardson.
The essential aspects of Thor’s char-
acter—his solitariness, but also his
independence and pride—are why
Richardson’s mission is to run Wel-
gedacht as a game park without a
captive lion population once his
own brood dies off. “I want no lions
in enclosures,” he says. “If that hap-
pens, then I know we’re doing some-
thing right.”
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My family was in the car on a return trip from Nova Scotia, where we had gone to visit our many rela-tives. Because of gasoline rationing, it had been very difficult to visit these relatives during the war, so they now had to be visited on a yearly basis, especially since one of them—an important one, my maternal grand-father—had undergone something called a coronary. I had no clear picture of what this was, but it had something to do with his heart and meant he might die at any minute. I had no clear picture of dying either, except that it happened to tadpoles not properly tended to and caterpil-lars if you didn’t put enough holes in their jar lids. Death was sad, and also smelly, but it wasn’t anything that could conceivably happen to me. (The cousins who were shortly to die of diphtheria were still alive. Was this the last visit on which I saw them? There were more fatal child-hood diseases at that time.)
I t w a s t h e s u m m e r o f — I think—1948, so I was eight years old. Or it might have been 1947, and I was seven. It was soon after the war, in any case, and therefore the highways were empty.
By “highway,” I don’t mean what everyone now pictures: an eight-lane throughway, with few exits and no crossroads, along which trucks and cars hurtle at 110 kilometres an
hour. I mean two lanes, an intersec-tion at every county line and many level crossings for trains. Eighty kilo-metres an hour was considered fast.
Cars were different then. They were bigger, they were heavier, and they were not digitized. Our car was, I believe, a Studebaker. The seats were upholstered in a scratchy grey fabric with an odd smell that was worse in the heat, and this mattered because there was no air condition-ing. The front seat extended all the way across—no bucket seats—and there were no seat belts. There were none in the back seat, either, and there were no car seats for children. No one thought anything of this.
My father was driving. Fathers drove then: it was not usual for moth-ers to drive if fathers were in the car. My father was a man of many pro-jects and was usually in a hurry. His idea was to reach Nova Scotia, get the relative-visiting over with and drive back again as fast as possible, so he
My father’s idea was to reach Nova Scotia, get the relative-visiting over with and drive back again as
fast as possible.
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drove quickly and for long hours. My mother would aid this scheme by packing sandwiches, doling out Life Savers and massaging the back of my father’s neck while he drove.
When it got dark, we might stop at a motel. (Motels were clumps of tiny cottages with Christmas-tree lights strung along their fronts.) But there were not many of these, so we would simply pull over to the side of the road. My father would cut some tent poles with his axe, and we would set up our heavy canvas tent in a likely spot—which meant any place flat and not in a swamp. We cooked on a campfire or a pump stove, and we peed in the bushes. Needless to say, you would not be allowed to do any of this now. Nor would you wish to, as you would likely get run over or arrested.
A note on my mother. My father was not untypical for that time: there were still a lot of men around who, having migrated from remote locations to towns or cities, had that combination of backwoods and urban skills. But women along the lines of my mother were less usual. She was a self-declared tomboy: scorner of ladies’ hats and tea par-ties, rider of horses, speed skater and, in her youth, daredevil walker of barn ridgepoles. A year or so ear-lier, I had witnessed her chasing a bear away from our outdoor cooking
area with a broom. She did not read-ily lose her cool. Point being: if she later said we almost died, then we almost did die. She was not prone to exaggeration.
Back to the day in question. We were driving west. It was late after-noon. Insects were squishing on the windshield. My brother and I were bouncing around in the back seat, unbelted, on the loose. There was no Internet, there were no iPads or Game Boys or other forms of in-car entertainment, and there was no car radio. So, after cows had been counted in passing fields, games of “I Spy” had ground to a halt and we’d run out of steam on the serial story we took turns narrating, we would fall back on the mischievous. We might even do something delib-erately annoying, such as imitating bagpipes or singing songs we knew my father despised. Or—a new thing, since bananas had just reappeared, having been unobtainable during the war—causing chewed-up banana to extrude from our mouths while say-ing “toothpaste.” Then there would be giggling and snorting, and when our father had had too much of this, he would say “Pipe down, kids.”
In the midst of silliness, we are in death.
We were almost at the “Pipe down, kids” stage. The sunlight was golden.
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The car was descending a long, steep
hill at its usual rapid pace. At the
bottom of it, a tractor pulling a huge
load of hay drew out of a side road
and began to cross in front of us. The
car brakes failed. My mother’s hand,
which was massaging the back of my
father’s neck, froze in its motion.
Did I realize what was happen-
ing? I don’t think so. But I must have
realized something, because what-
ever my brother and I were do-
ing stopped short. There were no
screams, no expletives. Silently the
sun shone. Silently the hay wagon
inched across the road. Silently the
car descended the hill. Just before
the moment of impact, our lane was
cleared, and both we and the hay
wagon continued on our way.
My mother said afterwards that
she thought her last moment had
come. My father said, “That was a
close shave.” I feel obliged to note
that “a close shave” is an expression
that was used before the takeover of
safety razors and electric shavers. It
refers to the straight razor, lethal if
the hand slipped, and means that
the blade had come very close to
the jugular.
How many times have I almost died
since? Many; so have we all. But that
was the first time of which I was
aware. Did I feel grateful then to have
been spared? No. I was too young for
such complex feelings as gratitude.
But I feel grateful now. My mother’s
general comment still applies: “We
hang by a thread.” The reference is to
the sword of Damocles, and now that
there is an Internet, there is no excuse
for not looking it up.
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Did I feel grateful then to
have been spared? I was
too young for such complex
feelings as gratitude. But
I feel grateful now.
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WATCH A VIDEO OF A
TWO-YEAR-OLD USING
AN IPAD WITH LAYAR
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Three years on, we’ve had a sec-ond child, purchased two iPads, gone through five iPhones (children love lobbing things) and accumulated enough battery-operated junk to fill a toy shop. It’s not that I’ve abandoned fresh air for free apps, or that my chil-dren, now two and four, get Netflix over paintbrushes, but reality some-times calls for the iNanny. It’s how a lot of parents use the iPad. Just in from the daycare dash, Dad is cooking din-ner while Mom is sorting socks and
unpacking lunches, and so the sprogs get 20 minutes of show time. Every-thing in moderation, right?
“Any time there is a massive shift in the tools of life, we don’t know what impact it will have,” says Michaela Wooldridge, a psychology PhD can-didate at the University of British Columbia who is researching how technology affects infant and toddler development. “Because these devices are so new and technology is chang-ing so fast, we haven’t had time to evaluate long-term outcomes.”
A3BB7<5�A1@33<�B7;3 limits, whether it’s on a TV or tablet, is something al-most every parent of a school-age child
grapples with, but the debate is begin-ning at younger and younger ages. Many toddlers are what’s called “digit al natives”—they have never known a world without gadgets. The Canad-ian Paediatric Society’s most recent guidelines, updated in 2013, essentially discourage all “screen-based activi-ties” (including playing on tablets and smartphones) for children younger than two, and recommend two hours or less of “recreational” screen time a day for school-age kids.
Prying an iPad away from a child is familiar territory for many of us. Toronto mom Hayley Chiaramonte sees the creative value of a cult game like “Minecraft” but is concerned by her eight-year-old daughter’s fixation on it. “She’s totally unresponsive when she’s on the iPad. It’s as if she leaves us for another planet,” Chiaramonte says.
According to Wooldridge, experts don’t yet know whether children born three years ago, let’s say, are destined to be more tech-obsessed than an eight-year-old whose early years did not include multiple port-able devices. “Infants and toddlers have been completely unrepresented in the research because it wasn’t
A child’s character and interests play a part in how drawn they are to media, as do parental habits.
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until recently that they were even considered to be consumers,” she says. A child’s character and interests will play a part in how drawn they are to media, as will parental habits.
A 2013 study from Common Sense Media, an American non-profit that examines the effects of media and technology on young users, found that 38 per cent of U.S. kids younger than two are using tablets or smart-phones—possibly even before they can string a sentence together. (This is up from 10 per cent in 2011.) By the age of eight, 72 per cent of children have used a smartphone, tablet or similar mobile device.
Based on reports from families, Wooldridge hypothesizes that parents and caregiv-ers are citing “education” as the primary objective when granting screen time to babies and toddlers. “The reality is that when you ask parents how the devices are being used, it is mostly to occupy or distract the child,” she says.
Some families may limit tablet use to 20 minutes while stuck in the super-market cart or during a car trip, while others employ them as in-house babysit-ters for hours at a time. But plonking an iPad in a three-year-old’s lap—without a
person there to give the experience instructional value—probably won’t offer much that’s positive, she says. We can praise the latest and greatest apps, but kids still need to be guided.
“The way infants and toddlers de-velop and learn is through social in-teraction, and the device itself can’t provide that,” Wooldridge says.
:7A/�5C3@<A3G�AB@C55:32 with the topic of technology and what was appropriate for her two daugh-ters, now 11 and 10, so much that she wrote a book about it, titled Screen
Time. Guernsey, who works as a jour-nalist and directs an early-education policy program in Washington, D.C.,
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tells parents to look at the three Cs—content, context and child—when making choices. “Instead of simply saying, ‘Is screen media bad or good for our kids?’ we have to consider the content on the screen, the context in which media is used and your child’s own personal needs,” she says.
With the three Cs in mind, media can be a springboard for conversation, dis-covery and open-ended play. Guernsey
explains that some positive experiences come when you open up a device with your child, learn how it works and en-gage with it together. This could simply mean asking your child questions about the animals in the virtual zoo he’s creat-ing while you unload the dishwasher.
Then come the moments when you want (or need) to pour yourself a cup of tea or glass of wine and read the newspaper. Giving your child the iPad makes that possible. But there’s no reason a tablet cannot be an oc-cupier at one point in the day and a conversation starter at another, says Guernsey. “As long as we’re maintain-ing a healthy ratio between moments of non-interaction and interaction, then I think we’re doing just fine.”
But, as with any other tool, there is a time and place for it to be in-troduced, based on a child’s devel-opmental capacity. “These devices are not benign,” says Wooldridge. What niggles is the idea that the iPad is replacing a richer experience for our children, like playing chess or climbing a tree. Is children’s creativity being sapped by video games and vir-tual worlds?
7B¸A�<=B�/<�either-or situation, says Jason Krogh, CEO of Sago Sago, a Canadian company that designs apps for kids. “It’s as if the point of com-parison is that you’re going to have a conversation with your child as the alternative to them playing with the iPad,” he says. “But we live in a world where that’s not always possible.”
Krogh curates apps for his daugh-ter in the same way he might vet the shows she watches and the books she reads. “A children’s book can be good or bad, a children’s toy can be good or bad, and the same applies for any technology-based experience.” He ad-vises parents to be wary of apps with grand educational claims, and to focus more on what’s fun and imaginative.
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“We need to model to our kids that it’s okay to do nothing sometimes,” says Judy Arnall.
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“I’m very much of the belief that what kids need more of is play.” Krogh cites one of his daughter’s favourite games, “Toca Tea Party” (from Swedish app de-veloper Toca Boca), as a good example of the app as a toy. “It’s not trying to control the whole experience, but in-stead acts as a prop for creative play.”
Guernsey agrees with Krogh’s take but would also like to see different types of games and innovative ways of using our devices. “We need to demand media that promotes social interaction and promotes looking up, and not being so zoomed in,” she says.
That zone of concentration is what makes the iPad a perfect device on long-haul flights, daunting car trips and rainy days at home. But relying on it, says Judy Arnall, a Calgary par-enting expert, deprives kids of any chance of boredom, and boredom is what inspires and enables creativity. “We need to model to our kids that it’s okay to do nothing sometimes.”
7B�2=3A�A33; to be a double-edged sword. When children are getting antsy in a long lineup or at a restau-rant, handing over the iPad is a quick way to pacify them before other pa-trons start judging us for their whin-
ing. Then again, parents also feel like slackers for using technology to solve an age-old parenting dilemma instead of turning it into a teachable moment about practising patience. Without the iPad, says Arnall, your kid might have invented a game for himself or engaged in conversation with grown-ups at the table.
I can’t be the only mother who of-ten falls into the “do as I say, not as I do” school of parenting, as I secretly send a text from the breakfast table. We need to teach our sons and daugh-ters to use the tools of our culture mindfully, and that begins with know-ing when to switch them off ourselves. How can I expect my kids to focus on one thing at a time if I rarely do? Tech-nology is part of children’s daily lives, but the way that it’s embedded in their lives is something that we, as parents, have some control over.
“Set some ground rules with your kids,” advises Arnall. “Block off per-iods in the day when there is no technology.” This applies as much to parents as it does to children. “Setting your own boundaries is what teaches kids to set their boundaries.”
“The tools only have the power we give them,” says Wooldridge.
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:=<5�E=@92/GA�can lead to thoughts both embarrassing and in-sightful. Chatter captured on Twitter’s #OverheardInTheOffice includes:
What was yesterday, the 17th? (Pause) What’s today, the 19th?
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Out of curiosity, is this Halloween candy? It’s January, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll still eat it.
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I just need a bucket of coffee to dip my mug into once in a while.
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A colleague responded, “At this point, I think we’re going to need a blackboard.” 5/@G�A16<3723@
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can
sit and look at it for hours.”
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“Saunders, I’ll thank you to take that attitude elsewhere.”
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@ Work
The best of both bowls.
Introducing NEW Quaker® Harvest Warm & Crunchy Granola.
All the satisfying warmth of oatmeal, with the delicious crunch
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NEW
WHATEVER I WAS ABOUT to go through, on this fall morning in 2013,
at least I wasn’t in it alone. From the clammy-palm moments before
the anaesthetic takes hold to the agonizing wake-up in the recovery
room, from choking down watery hospital soup to marvelling at my
new scar, I had an ally.
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Recovering from
a radical
nephrectomy
would be like
recovering from
a stab wound.
AS I PREPPED for surgery at an Ontario hospital, my father—thousands of kilo-metres away in western Canada—was awaiting his turn in the operating suite the next day. Over the next 24 hours or so, many more operations would take place, all part of a synchronized chain of transplants across Canada. For con-fidentiality reasons, I couldn’t be told how many people were involved in the chain or where they lived, but once it was all done, my father would have the kidney he desperately needed, and I would be one shy of a pair. As for the fate of my organ, it would be flown to a hospital out west and given to some-one I didn’t know and may never meet. I’m not used to this kind of intimacy with strangers.
THE DECISION I’D MADE three years earlier to volunteer as a donor didn’t impact just my life and my father’s; it connected us to other people queued for operations. When I wasn’t worry-ing about my own predicament (rare), I spent time imagining families a lot like ours: concerned, fearful, hope-ful. We’d all seen the effects of kidney disease. For my brothers, mother and me, it was a potential end to decades of uncertainty, of watching my dad deal with dropping energy levels and an array of medical problems.
I wanted to give my dad a healthier life, without harming my own. My parents also had a complex set of emotions about what I’d set out to do. “I love my children and wouldn’t want to see any of you go through the pro-cess,” my father told me. “But I know that’s my best chance of getting a kid-ney.” My mother was thankful, too, though she would have gladly taken my place if she’d been a viable donor.
Unlike Mom, I had made the cut—and was waiting to be cut open. I’d mostly quelled the worries that clouded the merry-go-round of blood workups, ultra-sounds, chest X-rays, urine analyses and re-nal scans. In 2012, we’d been part of a chain that collapsed, as some do because of tissue
incompatibilities, unrelated medical issues, life changes and other factors. My dad felt disappointed. I felt guilty. Small though it was, there was an un-mistakable sensation: relief. While I was committed to seeing the opera-tion through, I wasn’t necessarily in a hurry to go under the knife. I still had so many questions—then and now.
Was becoming a living donor the right decision, or would I need that spare kidney down the road? Would my dad get back to the kind of life he wanted? How long before I could lift
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my toddler? Why would I volunteer for pain by climbing onto an operat-ing table, like the blue one a nurse was now ushering me onto?
Pain. I’d shattered an elbow in a bike accident in 2006, and it was ex-cruciating. A doctor friend said that recovering from a radical nephrec-tomy—a kidney removal—wouldn’t be as bad. The only sensitive zone would be the incision site on my ab-domen. As he casually informed me, it would be like recovering from a stab wound. Oddly, I was reassured.
Thinking of it in stabbing terms made me feel like a tough guy—even if I did find it a bit chilly in the oper-ating suite. I soothed my nerves with thoughts of a day spent with my dad, doing what he liked best: golfing. So what if I hated golf? A minor detail in a much bigger picture.
I NEVER WOULD have been able to help my father if not for the growing popularity of “daisy chain” donations, more often known as living-donor paired exchanges. A kind of organ-ized swap meet, these chains feature donors who are incompatible with their loved ones (as I was with my dad due to our different blood types) and are instead matched with people in the same situation.
Though the idea of paired ex-changes has been around since the 1980s, it was only in the late 2000s that health-care systems and hospital
networks worldwide began widely in-stituting programs to come to the aid of hard-to-match patients. Canadian Blood Services has been facilitating exchanges with its partners in the provincial health-care systems since 2009. Paired exchanges accounted for 10 per cent of the 456 living-donor kid-ney transplants performed in Canada in 2011. Though some chains in the United States have included dozens of participants, examples here typically consist of eight to 10 people to keep matters manageable. More often than not, they also include an “altruistic donor,” someone who doesn’t have a specific recipient in mind but whose participation can greatly improve the odds of making a viable chain.
The Kidney Foundation of Canada estimates that 2.6 million Canadians either have kidney disease or are at risk due to conditions such as dia-betes and high blood pressure. Now
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66, my father had been coping with kidney problems since he was diag-nosed in his early 20s with glomer-ulonephritis, a disease that affects the kidneys’ ability to filter blood of waste and excess fluid and salt. He’d contracted it as a result of streptococ-cal infections that hadn’t been prop-erly treated while he was growing up on a farm in southern Saskatchewan.
As a kid, I didn’t really notice my dad’s health, but I do remember how his energy flagged through my teens: there were fewer family trips, more long naps. By the time he was 44—only two years older than I am now—his kidney function had declined to the point he needed dialysis. As it does for 1.5 million people world-wide (and more than 23,000 in Can-ada), that meant being hooked up, multiple times a week, to a machine that filters the blood—though not as efficiently as a kidney can, and with a host of side effects like hypotension
and anemia. My dad was on dialysis for less than a year before undergo-ing a first transplant with a kidney from a deceased donor. Equal parts optimist and pragmatist, he believes he’s lucky to have been ill at a time when dialysis and transplants were becoming widespread. “Had I been of a previous generation, I wouldn’t have lived past 45,” he says. “When they had kidney failure, they died.”
His replacement kidney lasted 15 years, very good for borrowed parts. In 2007, it was back to dialysis and the waiting list for a kidney. He was stable on dialysis, but years of medi-cation regimes and other physical strains were causing problems (his heart being just one area of concern). Could the solution be as simple as me supplying him with a fresh one?
Most of us have more renal func-tion than we will ever need: serious health problems occur only once function falls below 25 per cent, and you require only 10 per cent to stay off dialysis. According to Dr. Peter Nickerson—a transplant nephrolo-gist at the University of Manitoba who serves as the medical director of organ transplantation for Canad-ian Blood Services—just because a patient has only one kidney doesn’t mean they’ll max out at 50 per cent. “We’ve had patients who’ve had 70 or 80 per cent on one kidney,” he says.
It would seem life with one kidney isn’t necessarily different from life
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with two. So when all the tests con-firmed I was a prime candidate, my father and I entered the database of possible matches. My journey to the operating table had begun.
I THOUGHT I MIGHT be sad about my parting with Left Kidney—newly edu-cated, I’d only begun to appreciate its value. Instead, when I woke up in the recovery room, my first thought was, I want more drugs. Sensing I was not the stoic sort, a nurse offered me an epidural. I’d seen its euphoric effect on my wife after 23 hours of labour; I now understand the appeal.
The recuperation process wouldn’t always feel so fantastic. The incision took time to heal, as did the abdom-inal wall underneath, but by the six-week mark, I was moving without discomfort. As for my dad, his doctors were thrilled: unlike his first trans-plant, there were no rejection epi-sodes. I could hear the excitement in his voice every time we talked on the phone to trade post-op health de-tails and plan get-togethers. It would just be visits to each other’s homes at first, but now that he wasn’t tethered to a dialysis machine, maybe the trips could be more ambitious, like the
European holidays from my childhood. It would be somewhere with nice golf courses, but good beaches, too, so my daughter could impress her grandpa with her sandcastle-smashing skills.
ODD AS IT may seem, I don’t often wonder who’s walking around with my kidney. When Nickerson asks me about my experience, I tell him I’m surprised by my lack of curiosity. To me, it’s as if there’s no stranger be-tween me and my dad—he’s the one who received my kidney. This isn’t uncommon, apparently. Nickerson says many donors feel that way be-cause they can see the direct impact the chain had for their loved ones. In our case, it’s not just the health bene-fits. There’s a new closeness between my father and me, born out of shared experiences (distance be damned).
I’m only beginning to understand the importance of my role in my dad’s story and in the stories of those nameless recipients. On my end, I’m happy it didn’t take me long to fulfill a major post-surgery desire: being able to wrestle my daughter into her snowsuit. I can’t wait until she’s old enough to hear the story about how Dad got his cool scar.
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LOOKING BACK, John Aldridge knew
it was a stupid move. When you’re
alone on the deck of a lobster boat in
the middle of the night, 66 kilometres
off the tip of Long Island, N.Y., you
don’t take chances. But he needed to
start pumping water into the Anna
Mary’s holding tanks to chill so that
when he and his friend Anthony
Sosinski reached their first string
of traps a few kilometres away, the
water would be cold enough to keep
the lobsters alive for the return trip.
In order to get to the tanks, he had to
open a hatch on the deck. The hatch
was covered by two Coleman cool-
ers filled in Montauk Harbor seven
hours earlier. The coolers weighed
about 90 kilograms, and the only way
for Aldridge to move them alone was
to snag the handle of the bottom one
with a box hook and pull—hard.
Then the handle snapped.
Suddenly Aldridge was flying back-
ward, tumbling across the deck to-
ward the back of the boat, which was
wide open, just a slick ramp leading
straight into the black ocean. The
water hit him like a slap. He went
under, took in a mouthful of Atlantic
Ocean and then surfaced, sputtering.
He yelled as loud as he could, hop-
ing to wake Sosinski. But the diesel
engine was too loud, and the Anna
Mary, on autopilot, was already out of
reach. He was alone in the darkness.
Aldridge was 45, a fisherman for
almost two decades. The first thing
you’re supposed to do, if you’re a
fisherman and you fall in the ocean,
is to kick off your boots—they’re
dead weight. But as Aldridge treaded
water, he realized that, in fact, his
boots were elevating his feet and tip-
ping him backward. Aldridge’s green
monstrosities were an oddity among
the members of Montauk’s commer-
cial fishing fleet, but now he had an
idea of how they might save his life.
Aldridge reached down and pulled
off his left boot. Straining, he turned
it upside down, raised it up until
it cleared the waves, then plunged
it back into the water, trapping a
bubble of air inside. He tucked the
inverted boot under his left armpit.
Then he did the same thing with the
right boot. It worked; they were like
pontoons, and treading water with
his feet alone was now enough to
keep him stable and afloat.
The boots gave Aldridge a chance to
think. He was in a very bad situation.
It was about 3:30 a.m. on July 24. The
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North Atlantic water was chilly—22
degrees Celsius. Dawn was two hours
away. Aldridge set a goal: just stay
afloat till sunrise. Once the sun came
up, someone would start searching for
him. For now, though, there was noth-
ing to do but watch for predators.
IT WAS A LITTLE after 6 a.m. when
Anthony Sosinski awoke. The mate
he and Aldridge hired to work this
trip, Mike Migliaccio, got up first,
and when he saw Aldridge was mis-
sing, he yelled for Sosinski. Sosinski
tried to puzzle it out: before he went
to sleep at 9 p.m., he told Aldridge to
wake him at 11:30 p.m. Now it was
past dawn and they were more than
24 kilometres past their traps.
The Anna Mary is a 14-metre boat
without many places to search for a
missing person. Still, the men looked
everywhere before Sosinski ran to
the VHF radio. He switched to Chan-
nel 16, the distress channel, and at
6:22 a.m., he called for help: “Coast
Guard, this is the Anna Mary. We’ve
got a man overboard.”
The Coast Guard’s headquarters
for Long Island and coastal Connect-
icut is in New Haven. Sean Davis is
a petty officer there, and that mor-
ning he stood watch at the station’s
communications unit. Davis ra dioed
back, asking Sosinski for details.
He then turned to a member of the
team in the command centre: Pete
Winters, the Operations Unit watch
Raised in the suburbs, John Aldridge (left) chose fishing in his mid-20s. In 2006, he
bought the Anna Mary with his best friend since grade school, Anthony Sosinski.
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stander, who was working the Coast Guard’s search-and-rescue computer program, known as Sarops.
By 6:28, the command centre had notified the search mission coordina-tor in New Haven and the search co-ordinator at the district headquarters in Boston, who approved the use of two helicopters and a search plane. At 6:30, Davis issued a universal dis-tress call on Channel 16, asking mar-iners to keep a sharp lookout.
Davis kept working the radio. He contacted the Coast Guard station in Montauk with instructions to launch
all available boats and ra-dioed Air Station Cape Cod to tell them to get airborne as soon as possible.
Winters was busy man-ning Sarops. At its heart is a simulator that can gen-erate, in minutes, as many as 10,000 points to repre-sent how far and in what direction a “search ob-ject” might have drifted.
The challenge in Al-dridge’s case was that the search team had no clear idea when (and there-fore where) he had fallen overboard. That created a potential search area larger than Rhode Island, a sweep of ocean 48 kilo-metres wide and extend-ing 97 kilometres south—a
search area almost impossible to cover. The team in New Haven based
their initial calculations on Sosin-ski’s report that Aldridge was sup-posed to wake him up at 11:30 p.m. That suggested to them that Al-dridge had fallen overboard between 9:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m., which would put him somewhere between eight and 32 kilometres south of the Long Island coast. Winters input those assumptions, and Sarops came back with an “Alpha Drift,” with the highest-probability locations clustered about 24 kilometres offshore.
A few weeks after his son’s rescue, John Aldridge Sr.
got a tattoo on his arm of big green fishing boots.
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�
The next step for Sarops was to de-
velop search patterns for each boat
and aircraft. A little before 8 a.m.,
New Haven started issuing patterns
to the first assets on the scene: the
plane, a helicopter and a patrol boat
from Montauk. The helicopter was
piloted by Air Station Cape Cod lieu-
tenants Mike Deal and Ray Jamros,
who were joined by a rescue swim-
mer named Bob Hovey and a flight
mechanic named Ethan Hill.
The Coast Guard search was off to
an excellent start. The only problem
was that everyone was looking in the
wrong place. Aldridge did not fall in
the water at 10:30 p.m.; he fell in at
3:30 a.m. Almost 50 kilometres south
of where the helicopter crew was care-
fully searching for him, Aldridge was
clinging to his boots in the cold water.
BACK ON THE Anna Mary, Sosinski
had been having second thoughts
about the search area. After his ini-
tial conversation with Davis, he in-
spected the boat more carefully. The
pumps were on, sluicing cool ocean
water through the lobster tanks. In
the summer, Aldridge and Sosinski
would start filling the tanks when
their boat reached the 40-fathom
curve, the line on maritime charts
that marks where the ocean’s depth
hits 73 metres, which is the point at
which the water temperature tends
to drop. The 40-fathom curve is only
about 24 kilometres north of the
Anna Mary’s first trawl. Then Sosin-
ski found the broken handle on the
ice chest and realized how Aldridge
had fallen overboard.
Together Sosinski and Winters in
New Haven came up with a theory:
Aldridge had gone overboard some-
where between the 40-fathom curve
and the Anna Mary’s first trawl. At
8:30 a.m., Winters passed this infor-
mation to Jason Rodocker, a petty of-
ficer and expert in Sarops. Rodocker
punched in the new variables, and
the program spit out a second set of
search patterns.
The news about Aldridge was also
spreading through Montauk’s fishing
community, and 21 boats volunteered
to help. Davis couldn’t communicate
with all 21 at once on top of the Coast
Guard craft he was directing, so Win-
ters hit on an idea: put Sosinski in
charge of sending out the search pat-
terns for the volunteer fishing fleet.
Sosinski focused his energy on the
commercial boats, but none of it felt
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like enough. Aldridge had left his
driver’s licence on the Anna Mary,
and every once in a while, Sosinski
would pick it up. He’d stare at it and
say out loud, “Where are you, John?”
THE SUN ROSE on John Aldridge at
about 5:30 on July 24. Now that it was
light, he gave himself a new assign-
ment: find a buoy. That way, he would
be more visible to the searchers, and it
would be easier to stay afloat.
For a couple of hours, Aldridge
drifted and looked. Finally, he spot-
ted a buoy—tethered by rope that
extended up from a string of lobster
traps at the bottom of the ocean—
and began swimming. It was painful
work, but he was eventually able to
angle himself directly into the buoy.
He grabbed the rope and held on.
By noon, Aldridge had been in the
water for almost nine hours. He was
starting to shiver uncontrollably. Sea
shrimp and sea lice were fastening
themselves to his T-shirt and shorts,
claiming him as part of the sea.
Aldridge could see aircraft over-
head running search patterns. Even if
they’d figured out more or less where
he had fallen in, they hadn’t taken
into account the possibility that he
had stopped drifting and snagged a
buoy. He had to get himself farther
east. He pulled his buck knife out of
his pocket and cut the rope that held
the buoy in place. He tied it around
his wrist and began swimming.
He willed himself to keep kicking
until he reached another buoy. He
recognized that it belonged to his
friend Pete Spong, who owned a lob-
ster boat called the Brooke C. He un-
tied the rope from his wrist and tied
it to the anchor rope underneath the
new buoy. Now he had two buoys
connected by a few metres of rope.
He straddled the rope, repositioned
the boots under his arms and waited.
He knew he couldn’t survive another
swim. If he was still in the water at
sundown, he would tie himself to the
Brooke C’s buoy. That way, his par-
ents would have something to bury.
UP IN THE helicopter, Deal, Jamros,
Hovey and Hill had been staring at
the water since about 7 a.m. They
were growing discouraged. The truth
of working as a search-and-rescue
pilot for the Coast Guard is that you
don’t do a lot of rescuing—almost ev-
ery time a person goes overboard in
the North Atlantic, he drowns.
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The helicopter crew finished
their search pattern—the third
of the day—and requested a
new one. From the command
centre, Davis radioed coordin-
ates, and at 2:46 p.m., the he-
licopter started moving again.
Twelve minutes later, Jam-
ros called out, “Mark! Mark!
Mark!”—protocol when an
object has been spotted. There
was Aldridge, between two
buoys, clutching his boots and
waving frantically.
IN THE WEEKS after the res-
cue, I talked to local fisher-
men about the search. Most
of them teared up as they
were telling me the story.
What seems to go mostly
unspoken in their lives is the risk of
their jobs, and the improbable fact
that Aldridge hadn’t drowned under-
scored that risk for them even more.
The person who seems least shaken
by the experience is Aldridge. He has
no nightmares, no flashbacks, no fear
when he goes out on the water. The
Coast Guard pilots and the men in
New Haven express pride when they
talk about their work that day, and
when Aldridge talks about it, he
sounds the same way. “I always felt
like I was conditioning myself for that
situation. I mean, thank God I was
saved, yes. There’s no better entity
than the U.S. Coast Guard to come
save your ass when you’re on the
water. But I felt I did my part.”
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Aldridge and Sosinski have a thriving business:
800 traps sitting on the bottom of the Atlantic.
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from New York?
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/4B3@�0CG7<5 a floral shirt, my
mom modelled it for our family,
worried that it made her look old.
At the time, we were teaching our
dog how to recognize people by
name, and it was decided that Mom
would be the test. When I asked our
dog to go find my grandmother, she
ran straight to Mom. The shirt was
quickly returned.
9/@=:7</�F7<��B=@=<B=
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;G�6CA0/<2�/<2�7 couldn’t
decide which jacket to buy our
granddaughter, so we asked the
young salesman.
“If you were buying a coat for
your girlfriend,” I said, “what
would you get?”
“A bulletproof one,” he answered.
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Life’s Like That
e a r t h d a y. c a
SPECIAL FEATURE SECTION IN PARTNERSHIP WITH
You know all about silver linings – those hopeful or positive aspects of otherwise diffi cult situations that inspire
us to persevere. But do you know about green linings? When we take on a new lifestyle challenge for our health, the “green lining” is the
bonus benefi t for the environment. Thinking about it can help you stay motivated
and optimistic, rather than overwhelmed, while pursuing a healthier lifestyle.
Following these seven easy tips will make you healthier, while creating a greener planet!
GREENLININGSSeven healthy lifestyle changes
with “green linings” for the environment
BY BREANNE ARMSTRONG,
EARTH DAY CANADA
SPECIAL FEATURE
GET ACTIVEHealth Canada recommends that adults
should accumulate at least two and a
half hours of physical activity each week,
while children and youth need at least
60 minutes per day. Getting more exercise
has countless benefits for our physical and
emotional health! Walking or biking to work
instead of driving reduces harmful pollution
and fossil fuel use in our professional lives
while allowing us to enjoy nature.
GO MEATLESSConsider eating meat less often, and
increasing your vegetable intake! By
going meatless one or two days per
week, you can reduce water and air
pollution from animal waste, stop
rainforests from being cut down (for
grazing or feed crops), and save
thousands of litres of water and
hundreds of kilograms of grain.
QUIT SMOKINGIt’s obvious that giving up cigarettes is
good for your health – but did you know
that it is also very beneficial for the
environment? According to the City of
Ottawa’s website, Canadians toss away
nearly 8,000 tonnes of cigarette butts
each year! Littered butts take 15 years to
decompose, contain toxic chemicals that
leach into the soil, and have even been
found in the stomachs of birds and animals.
CHOOSE NATURAL ALTERNATIVESCosmetics, personal care, and cleaning
products can be dangerous. By simply
using them, and without even knowing
it, many of us put toxins onto our skin,
our bodies, or throughout our homes
every day. Many products can even be
replaced by homemade recipes made
from a few basic ingredients, such
as baking soda, coconut oil, vinegar,
or lemon juice. Not only are these
inexpensive options toxin-free, they also
need less pollution-producing packaging
and transportation.
EAT LOCALAnother healthy step is increasing the
amount of local food you consume. Fresh
produce has none of the preservatives
and additives found in canned or
processed versions, and is richer in
vitamins. The green lining? By eating
locally, you reduce the pollution created,
and energy used, from shipping and
storing food from across the globe.
A NIGHTOUTWant to support a
healthier environment
while treating yourself
to a night out? Join Mill
Street Brewery for Earth
Hour on Saturday, March
29, 2014. Candlelit parties
will bring the community
together in a symbolic
environmental effort, and
50 cents from every pint
sold that day and evening
will be donated to Earth
Day Canada! The Lights Out
campaign will continue
during Earth Month: for
every six-pack of beer sold
in stores from March 30
to April 26, Mill Street will
make a 50 cent donation
to Earth Day Canada.
For more information
about the event, visit
www.earthday.ca.
SPECIAL FEATURE
EARTH DAY CANADA’S MOBILE APP TRAVELS WITH YOU
There is so much we can do to create a healthier environment. At Earth Day
Canada, we wanted to help you make this a part of your daily routine. That’s
why we created a brand new mobile app to make it easy and fun! Starting in
April, be one of the first to install the app. Complete eco-friendly challenges
to accumulate points, then share your achievements with friends. You can also
redeem the points for discounts and prizes at participating green-minded
Canadian retailers. Join the fun at www.earthday.ca.
DRINK WATERGetting enough water
maintains vital balance
in our bodies; it also
helps us concentrate,
supports the immune
system, removes toxins,
improves the appearance
of our skin, and can even
assist with weight loss
when you substitute it for
higher-calorie beverages.
Other good reasons to
choose water over soda or juice? Producing, storing,
and shipping drinks uses up resources and energy,
and creates packaging waste, much of which ends
up in the landfill.
SPEND MORE TIME OUTSIDEAccording to a report by the David Suzuki
Foundation based on the results of its 30x30
Nature Challenge, those who spent even as little as
30 minutes outside each day “reported significant
increases in their sense of well-being, feeling
more vitality and energy, while feelings of stress,
negativity, and sleep disturbances were all reduced.”
SPECIAL FEATURE
TOP 10 ACTIONSTO REDUCE YOUR IMPACT
ON THE ENVIRONMENTWe are all busy these days, but there are quick, easy, and affordable
ways to reduce your carbon footprint and lessen our impact on the earth. Let’s embrace our environmental responsibility!
1 SIMPLESAVERS
Replace incandescent light bulbs with LEDs, and use aerators on faucets and shower heads.
2 DON’TDISCARD
Donate, reuse, and recycle items before throwing them in the trash.
5 WASHING & DRYING
Wash full loads of clothes in cold water and hang to air dry.
6CAREFULCLEANING
Choose natural, non-toxic cleaning products and make simple, natural cleaners using vinegar, baking soda, and water.
9 HEATING & COOLING
For summer air conditioning, set your thermostat to 24°C or 25°C and for winter heating, 19°C or 20°C. Install ceiling fans and programmable thermostats.
IIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
25°C
4 FOOD CHOICES
Choose local and organic foods that are in season, and when possible try to eat less meat.
7SMARTSHOPPING
Buy what you need, not what you want. Also, consider renting and borrowing things you don’t often use.
10 CLOSETO HOME
Vacation, travel, and work as close to home as possible.
3 TRANSPORTATIONALTERNATIVES
Walk, cycle, car pool, and use public transportation, or consider car sharing programs or renting.
MAIN STREET
8 BATHROOMBASICS
Take short showers instead of baths and close water taps while brushing your teeth.
e a r t h d a y. c a
=>3<7<5�/�>@3A3<B from Santa
this past Christmas, my four-year-
old granddaughter, Savannah,
was having trouble getting past
the tied ribbon. Finally succeeding,
she flipped over a second gift and
eyed the ribbon tied around it,
which is when she asked, exasper-
ated, “Why did Santa put all these
traps on my presents?”
A/<273�0@=E<��C a l g a r y
BE=�>=:713�=44713@A recently
visited my four-year-old grand-
daughter Marrin’s daycare to give a
talk about the importance of telling
the truth. After, when the presenter
asked if there were any questions,
Marrin raised her hand. “I peed the
bed last night,” she confessed.
D/:/@73�/:23@A=<��S p r i n g h i l l , N. S .
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acPaQ`W^bW]\��ASS�^OUS��"�T]`�RSbOWZa�
“It’s worse than a sugar highÑI let them play with
my high-vibration cosmic energy crystals.”
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Quitting Time?
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The same scene today would look a little different. Instead of a Player’s Light, a teenage girl might be “vap-ing” on a Blu, an NJOY or any of the other e-cigarette brands currently flooding the market. According to the National Youth Tobacco Survey from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the percent-age of American middle and high school students who have tried e-cigarettes doubled from 3.3 per cent in 2011 to 6.8 per cent in 2012. While research shows the majority of vapers are either former or current smokers, the survey found that 160,000 stu-dents who had tried e-cigarettes had never smoked traditional cigarettes.
Today it’s also a lot easier to pur-chase e-cigarettes than analogs, a term used for old-school cigarettes. While Health Canada hasn’t author-ized the sale or advertising of any e-cigarettes, minors can buy them from suppliers online, where no proof of age is required. (Nicotine-free brands, such as eRoll and Dune Cigs, are sold over the counter in Canada at convenience stores and are exempt from age restrictions.) There’s no real data yet, but medical authorities such as the CDC are concerned young non-smokers exposed to nicotine in e-cigarettes may be enticed to take up traditional smoking.
As more tobacco companies en-ter the e-cig market, the “gateway” risk rises, says David Hammond, an
associate professor at the School of Public Health and Health Systems at the University of Waterloo in Ontario.
“If I’m a CEO, there’s an incen-tive to grow the nicotine market, not shrink it by having people transition from cigarettes to e-cigarettes to ab-stinence,” Hammond says. “They want people to use both. Even the marketing of e-cigarettes is similar. They use superattractive models—images that say it’s fashionable. It doesn’t look like a health message, as in ‘Here’s a way to quit smoking.’ What it does look like is, ‘Wouldn’t you like to try these?’”
/11=@27<5�B=�B63 first consumer data by research group GfK, of Amer-ican smokers who are also e-cigarette users, 56 per cent are male and 44 per cent female. (The majority are millennials.) However, brands such as Vapor Couture and Vaping Vamps clearly target women, with their pink-and-purple packaging and curlicue fonts. “Women’s only” e-cigarettes are sleeker and more elegant, says Ma-ria Verven, CEO of Vaping Ventures, the company behind Vaping Vamps. “Vaping is a hip, healthy alternative to smoking,” she tells me. “I don’t see any problem with marketing to women.”
Last year, Blu, which holds 40 per cent of the e-cigarette market, signed Jenny McCarthy and Stephen Dorff as spokespeople and rolled out unprecedented web, TV and print
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campaigns. NJOY premiered a web ad starring Courtney Love, and tab-loids ran stories showing Kate Moss, Sienna Miller and Robert Pattinson holding e-cigarettes.
According to a report by Citibank, from 2011 to 2012, print-ad spending on e-cigarette marketing in the United States rose 71.9 per cent, while spending on TV ads rose 17.9 per cent—a sig-nificant new revenue source for media. But the fi-nancial windfall may be short-lived because the at-torneys gen-eral from 40 states are urg-ing the Food a n d D r u g Administra-tion (FDA) to restrict the ad-vertising and sale of e-cigarettes so that it doesn’t directly target youth (for example, by playing up e-cigs’ fruit and candy flavours).
In Canada, almost all advertising of tobacco products is banned, al-though there are exceptions—it’s per-mitted in publications with an adult readership of 85 per cent or more. In addition to advertising, “seeding” in-fluential cultural events has become a popular strategy in both the U.S. and Canada. At the spring/summer
2014 New York Fashion Week, NJOY distributed e-cigarettes after shows; samples of the nicotine-free brand Luli were handed out during the 2013 Toronto International Film Festival.
Sharon Anne Cook, a professor in the faculty of education at the Uni-versity of Ottawa and author of the 2012 book Sex, Lies and Cigarettes,
says the marketing strategy behind e-cigarettes may appeal to
women for the same reasons we flocked
to slimmer ciga-rettes in the
mid-20th cen-tury. “The so-called ‘light’ cigarettes in the women’s market were
d r i v e n b y the belief that
they were far safer than regular
cigarettes, and this belief was promoted by
tobacco manufacturers.”
/@3� 3�175/@3BB3A� A/43@- “If I look at the ingredient list of e-ciga-rettes, then, yes,” explains Peter Selby, chief of the Addictions Program at the Centre for Addiction and Men-tal Health in Toronto. The solution inhaled during vaping is typically a mix of vegetable glycerine, propyl-ene glycol and polyethylene glycol—
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chemicals similar to common food
additives—combined with varying
amounts of nicotine, depending on
the brand. It produces no carcino-
genic tar or smoke and delivers nico-
tine in less-saturated quantities than
cigarettes, which contain more than
4,000 toxic chemicals.
But the majority of e-cigarettes are
made in Chinese factories where a
lack of standardized manufactur-
ing poses a risk. A study by the FDA,
carried out in 2009, found cancer-
causing chemicals and toxins used
in antifreeze in several brands of e-
cigarettes. The study also discovered
traces of nicotine in products that
were being marketed as nicotine-free.
“E-cigarettes have great potential as
a harm-reduction tool but only after
they’ve been tested and regulated,”
adds Selby. “They’re not ready for
prime time, in part because they’ve
fallen into a ‘regulatory abyss.’”
>@7;3�B7;3�=@�<=B� Susan Willis
and her partner, N. Maxwell Lander,
started vaping in January 2013 as a
way to stop smoking with minimal
agony. The couple, who are in their
20s and run a photography business
in Toronto, are former pack-a-day
smokers. “I was sick and tired of feel-
ing sick and tired,” says Willis. “Since
I started vaping, my headaches and
fatigue are completely gone, and I
have more money in my pocket.”
E-cigarette kits, which come with
an atomizer, cartridge and plastic-tip
filter, cost between $40 and $80. The
nicotine refills average $10 a week for
the equivalent of a $70 analog pack-
a-day habit.
Elaine Lui, who runs the popu-
lar celebrity site laineygossip.com,
turned to e-cigs in 2012 to help wean
herself off a 25-year cigarette habit. “I
had a real love affair with smoking,”
she explains. “But I was turning 40,
and I just really needed to quit.”
E-cigarettes may turn out to be a
healthier option, but what is their po-
tential for helping smokers kick the
habit completely? In the U.S., they’re
currently the second most popular
method, after cold turkey, followed
by the nicotine patch and gum.
While long-term data isn’t avail-
able, a recent study from New
Zealand researchers shows that e-cig-
arettes are roughly as effective as the
patch. The World Health Organization �
��0G�/:3F/<2@/�97;0/::��3::3�1/</2/��2313;03@� ��!���3::31/</2/�1=;
IN THE U.S., E-CIGS ARE THE SECOND MOST POPULAR METHOD OF QUITTING SMOKING, FOLLOWED BY THE PATCH AND GUM.
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sees it differently. In July 2013, it re-
leased a statement saying that there’s
little proof e-cigarettes are an effective
method of quitting.
Health Canada hasn’t approved the
use of e-cigarettes as a cessation tool,
warning they “have not been fully eval-
uated for safety, quality and efficacy.”
And while the FDA has yet to weigh in
on the issue, several U.S. studies pub-
lished last year hint at their potential
to help people make the switch from
cigarettes. For its part, the American
Association of Public Health Phys-
icians has recommended e-cigarettes
for smokers struggling to quit.
E63B63@�>@=2C1BA�:793�Vaping
Vamps offer women a way out of ad-
diction or seduce them further into
it is an open question. Regardless,
their popularity indicates women are
a distinct subset of smokers. The gen-
der gap is closing, in part, because
women may have more difficulty
quitting and staying smoke-free.
According to Selby, the differ-
ence is both biological and social.
Female brain structure, hormones
and body composition may make us
more sensitive to nicotine addiction
and increase our cravings. “Women’s
smoking tends to be embedded in
their relationships—with partners or
friends,” he says. “Smoking comes to
mean socializing with others, so quit-
ting can lead to a disconnect, which
can be a struggle.” Unlike cold turkey
or the patch, e-cigarettes allow the
ex-smoker to maintain her social pat-
terns: joining the smokers huddling
in their designated zones.
Experts agree that the smoking rate
continues to decline overall due to
successful anti-smoking advertising,
less visibility in films, increasing tax-
ation and fewer places where smok-
ing is legal. But, according to Selby,
women don’t seem to respond as
well as men to nicotine-replacement
therapy, such as patches and gum.
“If one takes a look at how cessa-
tion occurs, the process is about set-
ting a date and getting it over with,”
says Selby. But these methods target
the physical component of addiction
instead of the psychological factors
unique to women. In other words, by
failing to take into account the spe-
cific reasons women smoke—how
our relationship with smoking is as
addictive as the cigarettes them-
selves—the cessation industry has
left female smokers behind.
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AS WE ARRIVE in Paris, the skyline
is cloaked in grey that matches the
city’s cool temperament. My family’s
look is less refined—dominated by a
red stroller festooned with toys.
Our plastic caravan arrives at
L’Ecritoire, a bistro on the Place de
la Sorbonne. There’s not another
child in sight. I unravel my son Tok-
ki’s travel high chair and unpack rice
cakes and organic vegetable purée. I
consider myself always prepared, but
according to Karen Le Billon’s rules,
I’ve already racked up two strikes.
In 2012, there was a mini-boom in
“momoirs” exalting a no-nonsense
French style of parenting: French
Kids Eat Everything, by Vancouver
academic Le Billon, and Bringing
Up Bébé: One American Mother Dis-
covers the Wisdom of French Parent-
ing, by Pamela Druckerman, focus
on how well Gallic children eat and
behave. Tokki was a serene baby at
birth, but he has since perfected a
shriek that’s between Mariah Carey’s
high C and a dog whistle. So when
my husband was invited to a film
festival in France, I decided to go full
immersion. Every first-time parent
is looking for answers. The French
seem to have them.
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Lesson 1: Nobody Puts Baby in the CornerTokki is not used to being on a ter-
race at the decidedly adult hour of
9 p.m. From his perch, he cranes his
neck to make saucer eyes at a nearby
foursome: chic adults sipping wine,
oblivious to the Parisian rive gauche.
Laying out baby spoons in triplicate,
I feel a twinge of self-consciousness.
Never mind looking like tourists—
looking like nervous
parents is worse.
W h e n o u r p l a t e s
arrive, I crack open
Tokki’s purée tube, but
he shakes his head. He
only has eyes for the
steak. Since there’s no
way I’m feeding him
my husband’s medium-
rare meat, I break my
burger open to ex-
amine it for pinkness.
As I rack my brain for
the rules about babies
and blue cheese, Tokki’s fingers are
already in my food. I fashion a mor-
sel of hamburger meat running with
jus and offer it up. Still saucer-eyed,
he chomps furiously as I cool off a
small pile of fries, which he scarfs as
quickly as 10-month-old coordina-
tion allows.
At the end of the meal, the rice
cakes and purée sit untouched.
Across the pond, we tend to con-
centrate on nutrition, whereas the
French focus on pleasure. Watching
Tokki fill his chubby fists with my
meal, I have to admit I’ve never seen
him devour purée with such passion.
Lesson 2: Oh, Behave!The sun shines on the heads of chil-
dren riding ponies along the Jardin
du Luxembourg’s gravel paths. We
park Tokki’s stroller and step into
the Théâtre des Marionnettes to wait
for the puppet show to
begin. There’s a rus-
tling behind us, and
my son turns to stare
as a grandmother un-
wraps cookies for her
granddaughter’s snack.
Offering one to me, I
politely shake my head
no, but the little girl
protests. “Non. II n’a
pas le droit,” the grand-
mother says brusquely
to her charge. French
children either have le
droit—the right—to do something or
they don’t.
Evidence of this strictness is ev-
erywhere, including Annecy, in the
country’s southeast. One rainy after-
noon, Tokki and I take shelter in the
town library as a kindergarten class
files past us. I watch as they neatly
hang their purple pinafores on hooks.
Two guardians mix among the class,
neither shushing nor raising a voice.
No one fights over a book.
When I was
growing up, my
parents let me
know who was
in charge, and
it definitely
wasn’t me.
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We spend the next day sprawled on a lawn overlooking Lac d’Annecy. Families cluster around peacocks in the open-air aviary, while girls in Sunday dresses play badminton. When a toddler starts to scream, I observe the unflappable French mother in action. Marching the girl into a field in full view of everyone, the mother takes several paces before turning her back while her daughter wails. After what feels like an eternity, the child is tenderly collected and they walk away hand in hand. I’m in awe. Had the mother been too harsh? Or did I want to be more like her?
French parents do not panic in the face of meltdowns, but I am not French. On our last night in Annecy, in my desperation to feed the baby on schedule, we sit down at a café with no wait. As Tokki’s fussing turns to shrieking, I become so stressed that I tersely part ways with my husband and return to our hotel—forgetting he was about to find out whether he had won a festival prize. (He does.)
That night I’m filled with pride and then remorse. Why couldn’t I have finished eating and given my husband a kiss for good luck? Look-ing back on my own childhood in Toronto, I wonder if my Korean im-migrant parents were secretly French. When I was growing up, they let me know who was in charge, and it def-initely wasn’t me.
Lesson 3: Two’s Company, Three’s LoudThe French don’t understand the way North American children can eclipse the very thing that brought them into existence: the couple. The night I for-got to wish my husband good luck, I learned of his big prize alone. As Tokki slept spread-eagled on our ho-tel bed, my husband was partying in a ballroom at L’Impérial Palace.
In the crowd of filmmakers was a European duo who had decided their children weren’t going to keep them from enjoying the festivities. The French father pushed a snor-ing toddler in his stroller, while the Dutch mother had their sleeping nine-month-old strapped to her back. When my husband told me about them the next morning, I was full of admiration and bewilderment. Where did they get the nerve to keep their babies out past midnight?
Now that we’re home, I still priori-tize Tokki ahead of ourselves. Does this mean he will become a “child king,” as the French say with dis-dain? Is the idea of a well-mannered toddler a fantasy I should file along-side my dream French wardrobe and flawless accent? At the end of the day, my child is perfect to me just the way he is. He doesn’t need to be French, and I don’t think he minds that I’m not, either. Although I may keep trying.
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PAST LIVES
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/B�;G�5@/23� Christmas party, I
remember watching other mothers
being dropped off by car. It was snow-
ing heavily, but they stepped daintily
up the steps of the school, wearing
stylish tweed coats with mink collars,
calfskin gloves and thin rubber boots
buttoned over their pumps.
I hovered by the door, waiting for
Mum. Then, way down the side-
walk, I saw her. She was massively
pregnant, with two of my younger
brothers in tow. She had walked,
trudging through the deep snow,
wearing oversized galoshes and a
mammoth white coat that came
down to her ankles. Around her
middle she’d tied a long piece of
yellow rope, and my brothers clung
to the ends like little farmers at-
tached to a clothesline, trying not
to lose sight of a barn in the bliz-
zard. On her head, Mum was wear-
ing a brown leather Second World
War pilot’s helmet, earflaps down,
chinstrap dangling in the wind.
She had dressed for what she con-
sidered was the main occasion—the
cold. But why couldn’t she be nor-
mal? I could see she was popular—
others were captivated by her sense
of autonomy—but I felt shy and
hated being sucked into her orbit,
the centre of attention, where she in-
variably stood. If I complained, she’d
say, “You need to reach out to people!
Everyone feels shy, but shyness is a
form of selfishness!”
I like to think my relationships with
my own children are more breath-
able, more survivable. But are they?
When I was their age in the 1980s,
Mum gave me no freedom: the more
I pushed away, the more she in-
sinuated herself. She crossed every
boundary. Our relationship slid from
admiration to resentment until, as
she battled old age, I used to pray I’d
outlive her, if only for a few months,
so I could see what it felt like to not
be her daughter. So I could be me.
Yet, only four weeks after her
death—Dad had died three years
earlier—I’ve moved temporarily back
into their home in Oakville, Ont., to
sift through a half century of stuff,
looking for evidence of her… search-
ing for answers.
Friends warned me of this. They
said, “When your mother dies, you’ll
wish you’d asked her some ques-
tions.” I had more than 60 years to
ask, but now there are questions
I didn’t even know I had.
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;G� B6@33� 0@=B63@A—Robin,
Chris and Victor—and I are at our
childhood home, sitting on the steps
overlooking Lake Ontario, at the end
of an exhausting morning.
We’re about to tackle the space I’ve
been dreading: the trunk room. The
cedar rafters of the steeply pitched
ceiling give it the dry aroma of a
sauna, and a small window at the
back lets in a sliver of light. We have
to crawl to reach the corners. It’s go-
ing to be a lengthy dig.
The room is stacked with steamer
trunks and wooden crates. Scattered
around them is the usual debris of
a family—layered in circles, like the
growth rings of a tree. The top layer
reveals our most recent chapter:
Dad’s old metal walker and rubber-
tipped walking canes, bags of Mum’s
oxygen tubing, a metal bedpan.
But underneath, there are Hal-
loween masks, Christmas lights, old
paintings, plastic flowers, broken
chairs, unsorted toys, sets of luggage
and—deep in the farthest corner—
dozens of white plastic bags, bulging
and knotted.
Chris drags everything out into the
light and piles it in the upstairs hall.
He finds a shoebox of papers and
brings it down onto the veranda. He
sits on the top step in the sun, scans
the pile and then hands the whole
box back to me.
“Here,” he says. “You can trash all
of this.”
� �
Irritated that he seems to be mo-
toring through tasks in such a casual
manner while I’m drowning in detail,
I shake one of the envelopes. Out falls
a letter on Buckingham Palace sta-
tionery written by Princess Elizabeth
to Grandmother in 1947. She’s saying
thank you for a contribution to one of
her charities.
I wave it victoriously. “See? You al-
most threw it away!” Then I listen to
myself—it doesn’t take much for me
to revert back to our youth, the bossy
older sister.
B63� <3FB� /4B3@<==<� I hear
Robin yell from the playroom and I
run in to see what he’s unearthed.
For decades, sitting on top of Dad’s
filing cabinet in his library, there’s
been “the old tin trunk.” A black
metal sailor’s box, it has our great-
grandfather’s name stencilled in gold
paint on the front.
Robin holds out a brown notebook
from inside the trunk. Scrawled on
the cover are the words “Kolek Tom-
djoeng Sederhana Sasak 50.82 KM.
17.93T.”
“What is it?” I don’t even recognize
the language. Dutch?
“The original logbook of the fishing
boat Dad commandeered in Padang,
when he escaped from the Japanese!”
We flip through the pages in amaze-
ment. The first few are recorded in an
unknown hand of the ship’s original
native crew, documenting trips along
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the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia, pick-ing up cargo. It’s all in Dutch, each page signed by a port master and of-ficially stamped. But 10 or so pages in, I recognize Dad’s handwriting.
On March 5, 1942, Dad—an officer in the Malayan Royal Naval Volunteer Reserve—commandeers the boat and begins to meticulously record their escape voyage, day by day. He lists the names of the men on board and records each one’s duties and what his intentions are (“to avoid capture by Japanese; to proceed up coast us-ing land breezes until latitude of N.E. Monsoon, with which we could cross Indian Ocean to Ceylon”). When Dad wrote these words, he was only 26 years old and had no way of know-ing what a harrowing 37 days at sea
he was about to endure—surviving Japanese strafing, high seas, limited rations and little water—nor that fate was guiding him across the Atlantic Ocean to New York City, where he would meet Mum.
Even more miraculously, there are photos of Dad and other officers on board the Sederhana. Dad has a beard and looks half-starved, more Errol Flynn than Cary Grant—but who thought to bring a camera, plus film, in the rush to escape?
D71B=@�/<2�7�dig further into the old tin trunk while Chris contin-ues to excavate the trunk room. At one point, he approaches us, his arms full of white plastic bags. As he dumps them on the wicker chair,
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fat beige envelopes and small blue
airmail letters sift out in the fading
afternoon light.
“What are they?”
“Letters Mum and Dad wrote to
each other—hundreds of them!”
The plastic bags are in the final
stages of decomposition; they frag-
ment into filmy confetti as we grab
for their contents. The tiny white
polka dots stick to our fingertips and
cling like ash to our clothes.
Robin flips open a letter post-
marked New York City, 1942. “Here’s
one that Mother wrote to Grand-
mother, telling how she met Father
when the war started.”
Dearest Mum, I know you probably
think I’ve lost my mind, but it’s only
my heart!
“She writes that she’d been out
dancing every night and was already
in her nightclothes, but this British
officer needed a blind date, so she
and her roommate flipped a coin and
Mother had to go.”
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Alec came to the door in his Navy
Lieutenant’s uniform and you know
what he did? He handed me his cap!
Can you beat that? So I threw it on
the floor and said, What do you think
I am, a hat rack?
We all burst out laughing—it
sounded so like Mum.
We spent the weekend together
and on Wednesday he asked me to
marry him!
“Whoa, wait a minute,” Victor says.
“Mum and Dad only knew each other
for one week before they decided to
get married?”
Chris laughs. “That explains a lot!”
Robin continues reading: These last
10 days have been worth anything
that may happen in the future…
“That’s a good thing,” I say, won-
dering if all war brides felt that way.
From 1942 to 1946, Mum and Dad
wrote to each other almost daily,
and Mum wrote to her mother every
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week. We’ve each got our laps full of
paper, trying to read and listen at the
same time, interrupting each other.
Chris says, “Here’s one when Mum
was stationed in Devon at Knight-
shayes Court, in the converted manor
house of Lord and Lady Amory. She’s
writing to Dad in Sumatra.”
I picture Mum in a grand hall with
a marble fireplace and gilt-edged
mirrors, now converted into a rest
home for convalescing American
air forces pilots. Mum was in charge
of entertainment.
“It’s typed on American Red Cross
letterhead.”
“She took her typewriter to war?”
I say.
“Along with her fur coat, high heels
and hot water bottle,” says Robin.
“I remember she told me that.”
“I thought they were supposed to
take only what they could carry!”
“Uh-huh, those were the rules, but
since when did Mother follow rules?
She figured a troopship would be full
of men tripping over themselves to
carry her luggage, and she was right!”
My darling Lackee: Lord & Lady
Amory were over last nite & I asked
them WHY the British have such a
custom of segregating the males &
females at dinner parties? Women
leave, while the men drink Port till
they’re wheeled off unconscious to
bed by their butlers. They’re known
as “1, 2, or 3-bottle men” depending
on their capacity…
>/AB � : 7 D 3 A � �
“Hold that sentence!” says Robin.
“I need more bourbon.” He heads
indoors with his empty glass.
“I’ll be the two-bottle man!” I say,
and follow him into the pantry.
When we return, Chris has flipped
his page over. “Here’s a loving ending.”
It is now late evening—peaceful
& still—with only the singing of the
birds & bleating of sheep to break the
silence—and of course my longing for
you which seems to reverberate from
every distant hilltop.
“They were married by then—
right?” asks Victor.
“Yep, but they didn’t really know
each other.”
Earlier, I’d resolved to clear out my
own mess so my children wouldn’t
have to face it, but now I’m having a
change of heart. Maybe it’s the only
way our children ever truly come to
know us, discovering things we never
wanted them to find.
B63�<3FB�2/G� back in the dining
room, I’ve finally finished sorting
Mum’s letters. They fill 23 bulging
binders. Her life is literally laid out
in front of me—but I can’t start read-
ing yet. There’s too much else to do.
Robin has found, among Dad’s
letters, a collection of small pocket
diaries. In one of them, 1946, I see
� � @ 3/23@ ¸ A � 2 7 5 3 AB
Dad has scrawled across
my birthdate, “Received
cable—eldest daugh-
ter born!” I thought he
wanted only sons, but
here is my first hint that
he expected more daugh-
ters. When he recorded
my birth, he was on a ship
in the South Pacific. Mum
was in the United States,
preparing to join him in
Hong Kong. I later turned
out to be his only daugh-
ter, but he called me “First
Daughter” for the rest of
his life. In the Far East,
this is a sign of respect.
And then suddenly, I find evidence
of my first amah, Ah Kan. Tucked in-
side Mum’s 1952 passport is a letter
and a photo from the woman who
cared for me during the early years of
my life in Hong Kong. It seems Ah Kan
was missing me after we moved away
and wanted my parents to sponsor
her to Canada. She must have been
29 years old when I was wrenched
from her arms at dockside and by now
would be almost 90, probably dead.
But I’m thrilled to find this.
Thank goodness people wrote let-
ters. When I recently taught a uni-
versity English course, I discovered
that none of my students under the
age of 25 had ever received one. Two
re m e m b e re d re c e i v-
ing a postcard, and one
thought he’d seen his
father’s handwriting—on
a cheque. What’s going to
happen to our histories if
computers crash? These
days I take more pho-
tos than ever before, but
they’re stored on my hard
drive. Who sees them? I’m
certain my great-grand-
children won’t. With com-
puters, the more we think
we’ve preserved, the more
we may have lost.
I decide to make a
photo album of the interior of the
house. I take, among other things, a
close-up of the dining room wallpa-
per, the hole in the upstairs window
screen, the latch on the back door,
the wicker mail basket, the crack
in the chimney plaster, the drawer
pulls in the pantry.
Who were our parents? They’re in
everything my brothers and I see
around us, but did we really know
them? Can we get to know them bet-
ter by sifting through what they left
behind, like forensic archaeologists?
What does it all mean? It feels like
we’re wading through puzzle pieces
with no finished picture guide on
the lid of the box. I still want to
know more.
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Ã
1Twelve per cent of Canadians
curse when frustrated by
customer service, making us one
of the most profane nationalities,
according to a 2012 Echo Research
study. Resist the urge. Elaine Allison,
a Vancouver customer service expert,
says keeping your cool, sticking to the
facts and being your most charming
self will bring better results.
2Know your contract. Most peo-
ple overlook the terms of service
and get angry when companies re-
fuse to waive rules.
13 Things You Should Know About
Customer
Service0G�>/C:�5/::/<B
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SMARTGET
3If the problem can be solved
right away, vocalize your com-
plaint in the moment. It’s better to
have a free meal sitting in a restau-
rant than leave fuming after a sub-
standard dinner with a voucher you
might never use.
4If time isn’t a concern, put your
complaint in writing. A letter
creates a paper trail and saves you
from repeating the story, says con-
sumer advocate Christopher Elliott.
5Tell a company what it can do
to fix things, says Jeanne Bliss,
who has led customer service teams
for Mazda and Microsoft. Many
businesses want you to be satisfied,
and appreciate clarity.
6Don’t be a toxic customer.
Threatening to smear a com-
pany’s reputation if it doesn’t acqui-
esce is unethical and rarely works.
7Politely let the company know
how loyal you’ve been. Front-
line workers often can’t tell a long-
time customer from a crank. A free
night’s stay is a small gesture for 20
years of business.
8Trapped in a phone-menu
maze? While dialing zero can be
a shortcut to a real person, some
companies have made their short-
cuts more complicated. The website
gethuman.com lets consumers
share extensions and wait times. On
the site, Bell Canada and Rogers
Cable regularly get criticized for
having too many phone-menu steps.
9For the shortest hold time, con-
tact customer service between
9 and 11 a.m. Representatives will have
cleared the previous day’s backlog but
haven’t been hit by the lunch rush.
10If you’ve tried official chan-
nels to no avail, it might be
time to move up. Often, a web
search can unearth an executive’s
email address. Complain about the
system failure itself, not your efforts
to change cable bundles.
11Try a different route. The Can-
adian Transportation Agency
can deal with unresolved com-
plaints about flight disruptions,
unexpected charges and lost bag-
gage, but it doesn’t want to hear
about rude service or bad food.
12Facebook and Twitter can be
effective ways to jump the
queue. Airlines have been known to
respond to tweets within the hour,
when email queries can take days.
13Use one medium at a time.
Multiple channels are more
likely to create frustration for you
and the employees trying to help.
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Sunglasses? Check. Bathing suit?
Check. Pipe bomb? Check?
Last September, after for-
getting a homemade
explosive
in his bag,
Alberta resident
Skylar Murphy,
18, found air-
port security in
Edmonton to
be surprisingly forgiv-
ing: he was allowed to board his
Mexico-bound flight. Leniency,
however, had it limits. Murphy was
arrested upon his return home a
week later, following RCMP con-
firmation that the confiscated
item was indeed a bomb. He was
sentenced to a year’s probation
and $600 in penalties.
</;3�/<2�A6/;3
Calgary writer Chris Turner took
to the court of public opinion in
December after Air Canada denied
a voucher transfer, pre-flight, to
his wife because she didn’t share
his last name. Unimpressed by the
airline’s explanation
of the policy as a fraud
deterrent, Turner
found support
on Twitter,
where he
blasted the
rule as antiquated.
#Surnamegate and
the subsequent barrage of media
coverage led Air Canada to allow
for a one-time exception, before
abandoning the policy altogether.
<=B�A=@@G�/0=CB�:/AB�<756B
Just under 200 vacationers were at
the mercy of Sunwing Airlines and
Cuban travel officials in January
after their return flight to Toronto
was repeatedly delayed. Irritation
at the dearth of forthcoming infor-
mation morphed into anger as
the airport’s potable water, food
and toilet paper supplies were all
exhausted. Expressions of regret
from the company were slow in
coming—when the passengers
arrived at Pearson International
Airport, nearly 20 hours late, no
one there apologized.>73@@3�:=@/<53@
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Rd.ca
Early DiagnosisKeeps Your Life
From Unravelling.Almost half of all Canadians afected by dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease, are waiting too long to be diagnosed. Yet, early diagnosis can improve the journey for the person with dementia and prepare their family and friends for what lies ahead. Find out more at www.earlydiagnosis.ca and see your doctor.
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���POePSS—A: raucous laughter.
B: ornate costume jewellery. C: cop-
per coin of little value.
��VgbS—A: completely unhinged.
B: neat and well-organized. C: fes-
tive outing.
!��YS\—A: herd sheep using a dog.
B: catch in the act. C: have know-
ledge of.
"��POW`\—A: unit of measurement
for weight. B: infant. C: state of
drunkenness.
#��P`Oe—A: impressive. B: lopsided
football victory. C: working-class
residential area.
$��\c[^bg—A: cold-storage room.
B: absent-minded person. C: hare-
brained scheme.
%��abOaVWS—A: commotion. B: sleep-
ing berth on a train. C: velvet-
trimmed dinner jacket.
&��aZSSYWb—A: mountainous land-
scape. B: penny-pinching business-
man. C: cunning.
'��eORaSb—A: term of endearment
for a clumsy friend. B: person who
binds sheaves in the harvest field.
C: mortgage.
����PSddg—A: alcoholic beverage.
B: flock of geese flying in a V-forma-
tion. C: root vegetable.
����YW`Y—A: elder statesman of the
community. B: church. C: large
meadow left unattended.
� ��aQc\\S`—A: irrational dislike.
B: aggressive fishmonger. C: unwel-
come surprise.
�!��U`OWbV—A: grazing plot for
calves. B: raging summertime thun-
derstorm. C: implements for work,
travel or war.
�"��TOW\—A: single-edged knife worn
with a kilt. B: eager. C: caretaker’s
cottage.
�#��P]UUW\¸—A: filthy. B: bump or
swelling after a blow. C: flat-bot-
tomed fishing vessel.
April 6 is when the clans converge and the Scottish diaspora dons its kilts. Marked by pipe-band parades
and highland dancers, Tartan Day celebrates the signing of Scotland’s declaration of independence in 1320.
Ready to fire up the bagpipes?
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Word Power
���POePSS—[C] copper coin of little value; as, After the wedding, Gillian stopped to toss the screaming chil-dren a few bawbees for chocolates and candy.
��VgbS—[A] completely unhinged; as, Fiona was a little unsteady leav-ing the bar. “Don’t drive in this fog, missy! That’s a downright hyte idea,” the old bartender admonished.
!��YS\—[C] have knowledge of; as, Ainsley was having second thoughts. “Do you ken the highland terrain well enough to go hiking at night?” she asked her husband.
"��POW`\—[B] infant; as, Kirsteen couldn’t take her eyes off the bairn
in her sister’s arms. “He really looks like Dad,” she said.
#��P`Oe—[A] impressive; as, “Alistair, that’s a braw house you’ve got there, with so many rooms and outbuildings,” Abigail said.
$��\c[^bg—[B] absent-minded person; as, The villagers considered Craig a real numpty for constantly driving on the wrong side of the road.
%��abOaVWS—[A] commotion; as, The disputed last-minute goal at the football match caused a stashie on the field.
&��aZSSYWb—[C] cunning; as, Getting
Moynagh’s endorsement was a sleekit move to sway public opinion and influence the vote.
'��eORaSb—[C] mortgage; as, After the stock market crashed, we put a wadset on the old manor house.
����PSddg—[A] alcoholic beverage; as, “Let’s go round to the pub and grab ourselves a few bevvies after work,” James suggested.
����YW`Y—[B] church; as, The vicar took great pride in maintaining the kirk grounds and polished pews.
� ��aQc\\S`—[A] irrational dislike; as, The new boss bought doughnuts for us on her first day, but Edna took a scunner to her from the get-go.
�!��U`OWbV—[C] implements for work, travel or war; as, The soldiers readied their graith for the long march to battle.
�"��TOW\—[B] eager; as, The newly-weds were fain to stroll the beach hand in hand after dinner.
�#��P]UUW\¸—[A] filthy; as, Hugh complained the rug in his flatmate’s room was absolutely boggin’ and stank.
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A UNICORN IS JUST A HORSE WITH A POINT OF VIEW.
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Chop your own path. Get off the car track. /�G��8/19A=<
I will never forget my actions. They will haunt me for
the rest of my life. None of it will happen again.5/@B6�2@/07<A9G�
I don’t think that one is
impressed with one’s
own work. I can’t
imagine such a thing.
It’s a question of getting
it right; it’s not a
question of admiring it.
;/D7A�5/::/<B
Overnight success
just doesn’t happen.
You’ve got to put
your time in. You’re
up and down—all
of a sudden, it just
clicks./<B6=<G�1/:D7::=
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Quotes
Family reunions
Oil keeps people, products, and the economy on the move.