1
Inter-Act, 13Inter-Act, 13thth Edition Edition
Chapter 12Chapter 12ConflictConflict
Chapter 12Chapter 12ConflictConflict
Chapter Objectives2
Describe the six types of interpersonal conflictDiscuss the five communication styles that
people use to manage conflictDescribe how face is negotiated during
conflictsDescribe destructive conflict patterns that
damage relationshipsDiscuss the guidelines for effective conflict
managementDiscuss how to repair relationships that have
been damaged by conflict
Interpersonal Conflict3
A disagreement between two interdependent people who perceive that they have incompatible goals
Conflict is:4
Natural
Neither good nor bad
Inevitable
Potentially constructive
Culturally based
Types of Conflict5
Pseudo – conflict that is apparent, not realFact – information one person presents is
disputed by the otherValue – deep-seated beliefs about what is
good or bad, worthwhile or worthless, desirable or undesirable, moral or immoral
Policy – disagreement over a plan, course of action, or behavior
Ego – “winning” is the primary goalMeta – disagreements about how to
disagree
Styles of Managing Conflict6
Withdrawing – physically or psychologically removing oneself from the conflict
Accommodating – satisfying others’ needs while neglecting your own
Forcing – attempting to satisfy your own needs with no concern for the other or harm done to the relationship
Styles of Conflict Management (continued)
7
Compromising – attempting to resolve
conflict by mutually agreeing to provide at
least some satisfaction for both parties
Collaborating – trying to solve the problem
by arriving at a solution that meets the
needs and interests of both parties in the
conflict
Conflict Styles8
High concernfor self
Highconcernfor other
Accommodating Collaborating
Compromising
Withdrawing Forcing
Approaches to Conflict9
Win/Lose One party gets satisfaction
Lose/Win The other party gets satisfaction
Lose/Lose Neither party gets satisfaction
Win/Win Both parties feel satisfied
Which approach to conflict management creates a win/win
situation?
10
CollaborationCollaboration
Collaborative Problem-Solving11
Define the problem.Analyze the problem.Develop mutually acceptable criteria for
judging solutions.Generate solution alternatives.Select the solution that best meets the
criteria identified.
Face Negotiation12
Face negotiation theory: we prefer conflict styles consistent with our cultural frame
and the resulting face orientations
Western HemisphereWestern Hemisphere Eastern and SouthernEastern and Southern
Individualistic and low context
Self-face orientation: uphold and protect self-image in interactions with others
Collectivist and high context
Other-face orientation: uphold and protect the self-images of partners even at the risk of our own face
Mutual-face orientation: uphold and protect others’ self-images and our own
13
Cultural Variations of Face
Destructive Behaviors in Conflicts
14
Serial arguing: arguing about the same issueCounterblaming: moves focus away from self
by blaming the other personCross-complaining: trading unrelated
criticisms, leaving the initial issue unresolved
Demand-withdrawal: one partner demands while the other withdraws
Mutual hostility: both partners trade increasingly negative and/or hostile remarks
Guidelines for Conflict Management
15
Avoid negative start-ups.Manage anger.De-escalate the conflict:
Identify the trigger.Calm your partner and yourself.Take a break from the conversation. Inject humor (but not at your partner).
Collaborative Conflict Conversation
16
1. Mentally rehearse.2. Recognize and state ownership of the
conflict.3. Describe the conflict in terms of behavior,
consequences, and feelings.4. Avoid blaming or ascribing motives.5. Keep it short.6. Be sure the other person understands your
problem.7. Phrase your preferred solution in a way
that focuses on common ground.
Responding to Conflict 17
1. Put your shields up. Listen impartially.2. Respond empathically with genuine
interest and concern.3. Ask questions and paraphrase your
understanding of the problem.4. Seek common ground.5. Ask the initiator to suggest alternative
solutions.
Mediator18
A neutral and impartial guide, structuring an interaction that
enables the conflicting parties to find a mutually acceptable solution
to their problems
Mediating Conflict19
1. Make sure that the people having the conflict agree to work with you.
2. Establish ground rules.3. Probe until you identify the real conflict.4. Remain neutral.5. Keep the discussion focused on the issues
rather than on personalities.6. Work to ensure equal talk time.7. Establish an action plan and follow-up
procedure.
Recovering from Conflict20
Forgiveness: communication process that allows you and your partner to overcome the damage done because of a transgression
7 Steps to Forgiveness21
1. Confession2. Venting3. Understanding4. Apology5. Forgive6. Set conditions7. Monitor
The Dark Side of Digital Communication
22
Compulsive or excessive Internet useDisable your smartphone’s ability to push e-
mail messages to you. Leave your social media devices behind
when you plan to study. Ask your friends to help you.Seek professional help if necessary.
Inappropriate Self-Disclosure Online
23
SIDE Model: Characteristics of social media, such as anonymity, influence online behavior.
Sexting: sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between smartphones via text messaging
Anonymous web-cam conferencing
FlamingFlame wars erupt when friendly and productive digital discussions give way to insults and aggression.
Recommendations:
• Respond privately.
• Ignore the flame.
• Ask an authority to intervene.
24
Mic
roso
ft W
ord
20
12
ima
ge
Cyberstalking25
Cyberstalking: repeatedly using social media to stalk or harass others
Cyberbullying: abusive attacks carried out through social media
Homework
Observe and Analyze p373Breaking Destructive Conflict Patterns
Think of a recent conflict you experiences in which a destructive pattern developed. Analyze what happened using the concepts from this chapter. What type of conflict was it? What conflict management style did you adopt? What was the other person’s style? What triggered the pattern of negative reciprocity that developed? How might you change what happened if you could redo this conflict episode?
26
Top Related