Habit 1- Be Proactive
“People are just about as happy as they make up their mind to
be.”-Abraham Lincoln
Covey, Sean. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. New York: Fireside, 1998.
By Mrs. Johnson and Mrs. Adamoski
Being proactive is the key to unlocking all of the other habits- that’s why it comes first!
“I am the force, I am the captain of my life. I can choose my attitude. I’m
responsible for my own happiness and unhappiness. I am in the driver’s seat of my destiny, not just a passenger.”
There are two types of people in this world…
Proactive- those who take responsibility for their lives
Reactive- those who blame others for their problems
Every day you will have about 100 chances to be proactive or
reactive…THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
Which one describes you more often?
Reactiv
e S
tate
ments
Pro
activ
e S
tate
ments
I’ll try That’s just the way I am There’s nothing I can do I can’t do it You ruined my day
I can do it I can do better than that Let’s look at all the options I can do it, there has to be a way I’m not going to let your bad mood ruin
my day
LISTEN TO YOUR LANGUAGE
WHAT DOES THE BAD HABIT LOOK LIKE?
Being REACTIVE…
Reactive People make choices based on impulse.
They are like a can of pop. If life shakes them up a bit, they explode.
REACTIVE PEOPLE HAVE
VICTIMITIS VIRUS People who suffer from this “virus” say things like: “I would be starting in
today’s game, but the coaches have something against me.”
“I would have gotten an A on my test if my best friend didn’t make me stay out late last night.”
“I would be happier if my parents would just get off my back.”
THEY NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS, PROBLEMS, AND
HAPPINESS.
REACTIVE PEOPLE…
Are easily offended Blame others Get angry and say
things they later regret
Whine and complain Wait for things to
happen to them Change only when
they have to
There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk by Portia Nelson
II walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalkI fall in.
I am lost — I am hopeless.It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalkI pretend I don't see it.
I fall in againI can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my faultIt still takes a long time to get out.
IIII walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the
sidewalkI see it is there.
I still fall in — it's a habitMy eyes are openI know where I am
It is MY fault.I get out immediately.
IVI walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the
sidewalkI walk around it.
VI walk down a DIFFERENT street
HOW DO I BECOME PROACTIVE?
To be PROACTIVE…
Don’t become easily offended
Take responsibility for your choices
Think before you act Bounce back when
something bad happens
Always find a way to make it happen
Realize you can’t control everything that HAPPENS to you
#1 - REALIZE WE CAN CONTROL ONLY ONE THING…
HOW WE RESPOND to
what happens to us
We will feel like VICTIMS if we worry about the things we
cannot change
#2- TURN SETBACKS INTO TRIUMPHS
Taking the Proactive Road…Story:
“I got on my motorcycle to ride to work one day. At an intersection, a laundry truck and I collided. The bike went down, crushed my elbow and fractured my pelvis, and the gas can popped open on my bike. As the gas poured out, the heat of the engine ignited it, and I got burned over 65% of my body. After numerous surgeries and treatments I suffered another tragedy. A few years later, I was in a plane crash that paralyzed the lower half of my body.”
How do you act proactively in this situation?
He tells people who are also suffering from extreme conditions…
“Before this happened to me, there were
10,000 things I could do. Now
there are 9,000. Rather than dwell
on the 1,000 things I lost, I look forward to the 9,000 things
left.”
#3- Be a “Change Agent”
Unfortunately, kids who come from dysfunctional families, are at a higher
risk of repeating the same bad choices or
habits.
Hilda came from a family that didn’t make much money. Her
mom worked in a factory and her dad made just above minimum wage. They were always busy, and didn’t have much time to
help Hilda with school. Hilda was determined to finish high school, go to college, and get a good job,
even though nobody in her family had made it through college. Although she got
married and had a baby right after high school, she continued to go to school and met her goal
of graduating college. Now, because of her education, she is able to value school and support her kids through their education.
She was the POSITIVE CHANGE in her family!
Scenario #1
You overhear your best friend bad-mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn’t know you overheard her. In fact, just five minutes ago she was telling you a secret. You feel hurt and betrayed.
How would you handle this if you are being reactive/proactive?
An
sw
er
Reactiv
e C
hoice
s Pro
activ
e C
hoice
s
Tell her off Become depressed because you are so
hurt by her Give her the silent treatment for 2
months Spread vicious rumors about her, after
all, she did it to you!
Forgive her Take some time to cool off, then
confront her, and talk it out Ignore it and give her a second chance.
Realize we all have weaknesses, and you’ve probably talked about her at some point too.
Scenario #2
You start a new school and one of the students starts bullying you. For some
reason this person has decided he doesn’t like you. He says rude and insulting things to you everyday, and he’s in a lot of your classes. He constantly talks behind your
back and is getting other kids to dislike you too.
How would you handle this if you were being reactive/ proactive?
Possib
le A
nsw
ers
Reactiv
e
Pro
activ
e
Punch him Yell at him Talk bad about him to other kids Cry Walk with your head down as you pass
him in the halls
Ignore him Keep your head held high Make friends with other people in the school Report him to a teacher Smile at him and say “hello”
“If you don’t react to his bullying attempts, it will get old and he will move on.”
#4- To act PROACTIVELY, Just Push “PAUSE”
When someone is rude to you, where do you get the power to resist being rude back?
JUST PUSH PAUSE!
If you learn to pause, get control, and think about how you will respond, you’ll make smarter decisions.
#5- To be PROACTIVE, use your Power Pack Tools
Self Awareness- I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions
Conscience- I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong
Imagination- I can envision new possibilities
Willpower- I have the power to choose
The more you use these tools, the stronger they become, and the easier
it is to be proactive.
Scenario #3
You didn’t study for your Spanish midterm, and one of your friends snagged a copy of the test. You reach for the stolen copy of the test, but you stop…
Use your POWER PACK TOOLS
Imagine- what could happen if you do this?
Conscience- what
does my inner voice tell me I should do?
Willpower- what will
I choose?
Being Proactive is harder than being Reactive…
It’s so much easier to be reactive and lose your cool. Acting this way doesn’t take any control. And it’s easier to whine and complain than take on the responsibilities. Without question, being PROACTIVE is the higher road, that takes more effort.
How will HABIT 1 “BE PROACTIVE” change your life?
Proactive people are…
courageous, persistent, and smart easy to work with cooperative not stressing about the things they
cannot change in control of their lives positive thinkers HAPPY!
Baby Steps Do something today that you
have always wanted to do, but never dared. Raise your hand in class, say hi to somebody you’d like to be friends with, try out for a sports team…
Write yourself a post-it note. “I will not let _________ (person’s name) determine how I feel today” Hang it in your locker as a reminder.
If you get in a fight with a friend or parent, be the first to apologize and open lines of communication.
Push the pause button before you react to somebody bumping you in the hall, calling you a name, or cutting you in line.
Use your tool of self-awareness right now. What is your most unhealthy habit? _____________________________
What are you going to do about it? _____________________________
Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I AM THE FORCE! I can
clear any obstacle before me, or I can be lost in the maze. My choice, my responsibility,
win or lose, only I hold the key to my future.” -Elaine Maxwell
Are you in the driver’s seat of your life, or are you merely the passenger?
The choice is yours!
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