11
Identity cards (provided below) String, and scissors
45 mins - 1 hour1. Learners should be able to identify and address negativeattitudes and beliefs that society at large and learners themselves tend to hold about victims of domestic violence.2. Learners should be able to understand the obstacles thatvictims of domestic violence face when trying to seek help.
1PROCEDUREThe teacher should cut out and fold the identity cards provided below to create ten separate characters.
Ask for ten learners to volunteer as ‘actors’ in a scenario. Explain to them that the activity is a role play, and doesn’t represent anyone’s own behaviour or identity. The role play is intended to illustrate the experiences of many victims the world over.
Give each volunteer one of the identity cards. Ask them to stand in a semi-circle around the person playing the victim. Hand out a piece of string to each person and ask the victim to hold the other end of each piece of string together in her hands. The victim should be connected to each person, including the abuser, by a length of string.
The abuser should be the last person in the semi-circle as follows:
Domestic violenceVictimAbuseVictim blamingAccessViolenceStigmatizedLGBTHIV/AIDSLesbianHomophobia Heteronormativity
Chapter 3: Family Relationships | Exercise 6
2
3
5
4
6
7
8
THE STRING EXERCISEUNDERSTANDING BYSTANDER RESPONSE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
1
2
34
5 67
8
9
AV
Ask the victim to read her ID Card and statement. She then turns to the person on her right, who announces his/her own identity and reads their line, creating a dialogue between the two. (For example, …) The teacher then cuts the string connecting the two.
The victim then turns to the next person and repeats her line: “My boyfriend just beat me, can you help me”. In turn each person in the semi-circle reads their line and the teacher cuts the string connecting the two.
This continues until the only remaining connection that the victim has is to the abuser. The abuser then announces his or her identity and reads his line: “I told you no one would believe you or help you. I’m the only one who you can rely on.”
Debriefing: Ask the victim how she felt (in her role as victim) as each of the people she turned to for help rejected her and blamed her for the abuse. The victim will likely report feeling hurt, anxiety, anger, shame, and isolation. If learners struggle to identify these feelings, or seem apathetic, ask them prompting questions such as:
a. Did you feel like this person understood what you had experienced?
b. Did you feel like you could get help?
c. Did you feel like anyone blamed you for what happened to you?
d. Did you feel like anyone held the abuser responsible for his actions?
Wrap up the exercise by emplasising that domestic violence is a social problem and not a personal problem confined to the private sphere. Emphasise that we often engage in victim blaming in the way that we respond to victims, which discourages them from seeking help, and creates the impression that we don’t believe the victim. In blaming the victim, we are taking responsibility away from the abuser, and creating the social perception that domestic violence is acceptable. Emphasise that each person, as part of the community has a role in helping and supporting victims of abuse.
Ask the victim to read her identity card and statement. She then turns to the person on her right, who announces his/her own identity and reads their line, creating a dialogue between the two. When the responder (eg. parent, friend etc. ) has finished their lines, the teacher then cuts the string connecting the two.
Debrief the activity by asking the victim how she felt (in her role as victim) as each of the people she turned to for help rejected her and blamed her for the abuse. The victim will likely report feeling hurt, anxiety, anger, shame, and isolation. If learners struggle to identify these feelings, or seem apathetic, ask them prompting questions such as:
Wrap up the exercise by emphasising that domestic violence is a social problem and not a personal problem confined to the private sphere. Emphasise that we often engage in victim blaming in the way that we respond to victims, which discourages them from seeking help, and creates the impression that we don’t believe the victim. In blaming the victim, we are taking responsibility away from the abuser, and creating the social perception that domestic violence is acceptable. Emphasise that each person, as part of the community has a role in helping and supporting victims of abuse.
222
Chapter 3: Family Relationships | Exercise 6
TEACHER TIPSA.
B.
C.
C.
This exercise carries a high impact, so be sure to emphasise the ways
that we as a community can help and support victims of abuse and
Ensure that learners leave feeling hopeful about their role in enacting
positive change.
This exercise carries a high impact, so be sure to emphasise the ways that we as a community can help and support victims of abuse and point to resources for those who find themselves in that situation. Ensure that learners leave feeling hopeful about their role in enacting positive change.
Making the Link with Gender & ViolenceMaking the Link with Gender & Violence
3
IDENTIT Y CARDSChapter 3: Family Relationships | Exercise 6 Worksheet
Cut these out along the dotted line and fold.
VICTIM
PAR
ENT
FRIE
ND
/PEE
R
“MY BOYFRIEND JUST BEAT ME!
CAN YOU HELP ME?”
“I T
OLD
YO
U T
HAT
YO
U’R
E TO
O Y
OU
NG
TO
HAV
E A
BOYF
RIE
ND
. IF
YOU
HA
DN
’T
IGN
OR
ED M
Y A
DV
ICE,
NO
NE
OF
THIS
WO
ULD
HAV
E EV
ER
HA
PPEN
ED!”
“BU
T H
E’S
THE
CA
PTA
IN
OF
THE
SOC
CER
TEA
M!
HE’
S SU
CH
A N
ICE
GU
Y ...
SU
REL
Y YO
U’R
E O
VER
REA
CTI
NG
.”
“AR
E YO
U S
UR
E A
BOU
T TH
IS?
THIS
CO
ULD
BE
VER
Y BA
D F
OR
TH
E IM
AG
E O
F TH
E SC
HO
OL.
WE
WIL
L H
AVE
TO T
AKE
TH
IS T
O T
HE
HEA
DM
AST
ER T
O D
ECID
E.”
“TH
E M
AN
IS T
HE
HEA
D O
F TH
E R
ELAT
ION
SHIP
. I’M
SU
RE
HE
WA
S JU
ST T
RYI
NG
TO
HEL
P YO
U U
ND
ERST
AN
D
YOU
R P
LAC
E.”
SCH
OO
L C
OU
NSE
LLO
R
REL
IGIO
US
LEA
DER
4
IDENTIT Y CARDSChapter 3: Family Relationships | Exercise 6 Worksheet
Cut these out along the dotted line and fold.
ABUSER
CLI
NIC
SIS
TER
SOC
IAL
WO
RK
ER
“I TOLD YOU NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE YOU OR HELP YOU. I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO YOU
CAN RELY ON.”
“YO
U S
HO
ULD
N’T
BE
INV
OLV
ED IN
A R
ELAT
ION
SHIP
. YO
U’R
E G
OIN
G T
O L
AN
D U
P PR
EGN
AN
T A
ND
STI
LL IN
SC
HO
OL.
WH
O W
ILL
TAKE
C
AR
E O
F TH
E BA
BY T
HEN
?”
“IT
CA
N’T
BE
THAT
SER
IOU
S,
YOU
TW
O S
HO
ULD
BE
ABL
E TO
SO
RT
THIS
OU
T. W
HY
DO
N’T
YO
U T
WO
CO
ME
IN
TOG
ETH
ER A
ND
WE
CA
N
TALK
IT O
VER
.”
“I’M
SU
RE
THIS
IS J
UST
A
MIS
UN
DER
STA
ND
ING
… Y
OU
TW
O
PRO
BABL
Y JU
ST H
AD
A L
ITTL
E FI
GH
T TH
AT’S
BEE
N B
LOW
N O
UT
OF
PRO
POR
TIO
N. A
RE
YOU
SU
RE
YOU
WA
NT
TO R
EPO
RT
THIS
– H
E C
OU
LD G
ET A
CR
IMIN
AL
REC
OR
D
IF Y
OU
DO
SO
.”
“I T
OLD
YO
U N
O O
NE
WO
ULD
BEL
IEV
E YO
U
OR
HEL
P YO
U. I
’M T
HE
ON
LY O
NE
WH
O Y
OU
C
AN
REL
Y O
N.”
POLI
CE
OFF
ICER
SHEL
TER
WO
RK
ER
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