Unexpected Pregnancy
Signs of Pregnancy Early signs are different for every pregnancy,
but here are some that many may experience; A missed, lighter, or shorter menstrual period Breast tenderness or enlargement Nipple sensitivity Frequent urination Feeling unusually tired Nausea and/or vomiting Feeling bloated Cramps Increased or decreased appetite Feeling more emotional than usual
Ways to find out if you are pregnant
The most simple and easy way to find out if you are pregnant is to take a home pregnancy test This test is easy to use
and is available at any drug store for little money
Family planning clinics, women’s health centers, and medical offices offer urine and blood tests These tests detect the
hormone hCG present in blood and urine during pregnancy
Tips to Avoid Unwanted Pregnancies
Find out if there are other contraceptive methods that are more suited for you
If you are being sexually abused, get help. There is a National Domestic Violence Hotline and a Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
Learn where to get emergency contraception. You may want to keep a package on hand as a backup. These are available at women’s health clinics, and in pharmacies.
Talk with a counselor at a women’s health or family planning clinic
If you are pregnant, there are a few things you need to do…
The first step is taking the time to adjust to the news and all the emotions that follow This could include talking to your partner, quiet
reflection, talking to close friends or family, counseling, or even writing it down
You then need to decide whether to continue the pregnancy or have an abortion With this you can then decide to carry the child
full term, chose to raise the child yourself, or have the child raised through closed or open adoption or foster care
Common Myths Debunked
A child will not automatically improve your relationship with your partner
Abortion is not more painful than labor Abortion is not more expensive than having a
child Using drugs in the beginning of the pregnancy
does not hurt the fetus Adoption does not necessarily cut you off
completely from your child Men can nurture and love a child the way a
woman can There is financial help for all of the options
Abortion
Abortion is safe and legal in the United States
The safest, easiest, and most affordable time is within the first three months of pregnancy This is calculated from the time of your last
period It is very difficult to have an abortion
after twelve weeks
Interesting Quote
“About half of the pregnancies in women over forty years old are unintended, a higher rate than for all other age groups except teenagers/young women; for these pregnancies, women over forty have the highest rate of abortion of any age group” (page 382)
Parenting
If you chose to keep the baby, parenting today has become easier than ever
Babies are remarkably resilient and adaptable when they have a consistent, emotionally nurturing caretaker and are comfortable, properly fed, and safe
You may chose to parent with the father of the child, or alone It is socially acceptable today to parent on
your own today
Foster Care
Foster care is an option and deals with shared child rearing in extended families and among friends to ensure that as many children as possible has a chance to thrive
System is common throughout the United States and around the world
Goal is to provide you time to resolve your situation This requires you to obtain a lawyer for negotiations for
either informal foster care of the governments formal foster care system
Important to ensure that the guardian can make medical and educational decisions in your absence
This does put yourself at risk for losing your parental rights permanently
Adoption
When choosing open or closed adoption, consider these options: Closed adoptions are now considered
psychologically unhealthy for you and your child
Consider picking an agency that will keep information about you to give to the child and adoptive family if they request it
Also be sure the agency will help you find out about how things are going later on, even if you feel now that you will never want to know
Adoption Continued..
If you choose adoption, it will work easiest if you create a deliberate adoption plan with an adoption counselor and by using a reputable agency A good agency pays for your legal and
counseling services and does not offer you money
It treats you, not the adoptive family, as the client
It is standard practice that you as the birth mother gets to choose the adoptive family from a pool of applicants in order to determine how comfortable you are having them raise your child
Many agencies require the adoptive families to provide yearly updates on the child’s growth to the birth mother
It may be possible to write letters to the child and have them placed on file for his/her future
You can also find adoptive families through a newspaper ad, an independent adoption facilitator, a medical practitioner, or a lawyer
In these circumstances, you create the adoption plan directly with the parents and/or their lawyer
Either way it is advisable to have your own lawyer and counselor
After making your decision;
What ever route you decide, you may experience grief
Grief is normal and it does not mean that you made the wrong decision, but rather that you are feeling a loss
Remember you need support at this time and to be informed before making a decision
Discussion Question
If you were put in the position of having an unwanted pregnancy, what would your feelings be and how would you deal with them?
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