By GBENGA RUFAI Prf.Dip.(HRM), ACIPM, ASM POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM
& CONFIDENCE BUILDING
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WHO AM I? Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building MAN
KNOW THYSELF- Aristottle You cant build what you dont know. How do
you build SELF esteem when you dont even know yourSELF?
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SOMETHING OR SOMEONE DEFINES EVERYONE OF US Positive Self
Esteem & Confidence Building CLASS TEACHER: Brilliant or
Dullard (Depending on your Academic performance in class) PARENTS:
Good or Bad Child (Depending on your behaviour) FRIENDS: Sharp or
Mumu (depending on how you fit in) GOD & HIS WORD: A World
changer (Based on his purpose for you)
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THE SIAMESE TWINS Self Esteem & Confidence are like siamese
twins joined together. If you try to separate them, you stand the
risk of killing the other Positive Self Esteem & Confidence
Building
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BASICS : What is Self Esteem? It is a mental picture of who we
are, how we look, what we are good at & our weakness. It is
developed overtime and based on interactions we have with people
and our experiences It is simply a SELF PERCEPTION i.e How We See
Ourselves YOUR LEVEL OF SELF ESTEEM WOULD DETERMINE YOUR LEVEL OF
CONFIDENCE You cannot build confidence if your self esteem is low
or negative Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
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Types of Self Esteem POSITIVE or GOOD or HIGH Self Esteem
NEGATIVE or BAD or LOW Self Esteem Positive Self Esteem &
Confidence Building
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The Esteem Confidence Equation Positive Self Esteem &
Confidence Building LOW/NEGATIVE SELF ESTEEM = LOW CONFIDENCE
HIGH/POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM= HIGH CONFIDENCE
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Positive Self Esteem They feel good about themselves,
appreciate their own worth, take pride in their abilities skills
& accomplishment. Knows he/she has shortcomings Doesn't focus
or beat himself up about it They love themselves They carry a
positive estimation about themselves Someone with a Positive self
esteem will Excel in life Achieve great results Meet & Attract
Great people Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
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Effects of Having a Low Self Esteem Positive Self Esteem &
Confidence Building Females will fall into the hands of wrong men
You would settle for less in life You would always be behind You
would bow to those younger to you You would suffer and miss
opportunities
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The Acid Test Do you feel your friends are better than you? Do
you sometimes refuse to say your mind because you feel your point
is not good enough? Or because the last time you did, you were
talked down? Do you feel people wont make friends with you because
of the way you look? Are you scared of looking at people in the
face when talking to them? Do you always wish you were like a
friend of yours because of her/his looks or stature? Do you avoid
speaking to an audience because you are scared? Positive Self
Esteem & Confidence Building
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The Acid Test Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building Do
you always wish you could change some parts of your body
attributes? e.g Big Eyes, Height, Complexion etc Do your parents or
guardian always tell you that you are not good enough or brilliant
enough and you think they are right?
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CAUSES OF LOW SELF ESTEEM When people that are important to you
put you down consistently e.g Parents, mentors- Your are too fat,
You never do well, you are too sluggish, You are a dullard etc
Negative inner voice (SELF CONDEMNATION)- Poor me, I know I cant
pass, its not for people like me Unrealistic expectations from
yourself You dont admire your qualities (I am too short, I have a
big nose, my eyes are too big etc) Rejection (the opposite sex you
like doesnt like you) Been harshly criticized Positive Self Esteem
& Confidence Building
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The Way Forward: Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
View your mistakes as learning opportunities Try new activities
(something you are good at) e.g If you cant play football, play
chess or scrabble. Piano or konga drum Recognize things you can
change and those you cant, like parts of your body, your family e.g
Omo Baba Give back to others TEACH SOMEONE THE LITTLE YOU KNOW. You
would feel good. Nobody knows it all Stop comparisons. BE YOU!!!
Someone admires you Identify your strengths (Ask from people what
you do well) Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
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The Way Forward Identify the triggers & avoid it (negative
friends, crisis etc) Stop trying to please others Silence the
negative inner voice with Gods Word I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY
MADE I AM THE HEAD NOT THE TAIL I WAS CREATED IN GODS IMAGE YOU MAY
NOT LIKE ME BUT GOD DOES I AM ROYALTY Positive Self Esteem &
Confidence Building
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SOME TIPS ON BUILDING CONFIDENCE Everybody is born fearful,
even courageous people. It is normal to be afraid but abnormal to
remain fearful Sometimes the only way to deal with fear is to face
it. (When you dont have a choice, you would sort it). Identify the
areas where you lack confidence (facing the crowd, public speaking
etc) Rehearse There is always a first time to everything you do
Looking good aids your confidence level- Dress Well Knowledge aids
your confidence level- READ Positive Self Esteem & Confidence
Building
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CLOSING LINES Anything taller than me is too tall Anything
shorter than me is too short Anything fatter than me is too fat
Anything thinner than me is too thin Anything darker than me is too
dark Anything fairer than me is too fair Positive Self Esteem &
Confidence Building