Aims of Session
• To provide a theoretical basis for understanding interactions and the locus of responsibility for behaviour
• To explore and encourage application of that understanding in everyday situations
• To build on participants’ existing good practice
Raw Material
• Think of a recent situation in which the interaction between you and another/others was getting nowhere
• Make a mental note of how you were feeling at the time
Key Concept – Ego States
Ego states are media through
which our personalities are
experienced and manifested
PParent Ego State
Attitudes, behaviours, thoughts and feelings taken in from parents or parental figures
CChild Ego State
Attitudes, behaviours, thoughts and feelings replayed from childhood and childhood decisions
P
A
C
Parent Ego State
Attitudes, behaviours, thoughts and feelings taken in from parents or parental figures
Child Ego State
Attitudes, behaviours, thoughts and feelings replayed from childhood and childhood decisions
Adult Ego StateBehaviours, thoughts and feelings that are direct responses to the current reality
Parent Ego State
What thoughts, feelings, attitudes
and behaviours do you associate
with the parent figures whom you encountered when you were growing up?
A
CP NP
Critical ParentMoralisticJudgementalAuthoritarian
Nurturing ParentReassuringCaringEncouragingSupportiveUnderstanding
C
Child Ego State
What thoughts, feelings, attitudes
and behaviours do you associate
with your experience of childhood
and the decisions you made as a
child?
A
CP NP
FCRC
CC
ADAPTED CHILDRebellious ChildDefiantComplaining
Compliant ChildPassiveSubmissive
Free ChildCuriousEnergeticFun-lovingSpontaneous
A
CP NP
FCRC
CC
Critical ParentMoralisticJudgementalAuthoritarian
Nurturing ParentReassuringCaringEncouragingSupportiveUnderstanding
AdultNon-judgementalOpen-mindedInterestedConfidentReality based
ADAPTED CHILDRebellious ChildDefiantComplaining
Compliant ChildPassiveSubmissive
Free ChildCuriousEnergeticFun-lovingSpontaneous
CONTROL CARE
- -
++
Criticising ModeBossy, Fault Finding,Punitive
Inspiring, Directive,FirmStructuring Mode
Marshmallowing ModeOverindulgent, InconsistentSmothering
Cherishing, UnderstandingCompassionateNurturing Mode
ADAPTED NATURAL
--
+ +Co-operative/Assertive ModeSociable, Assertive,Considerate
Anxious, RebelliousSubmissiveCompliant/Resistant Mode
Spontaneous ModeCreative, ExpressiveZestful
Egocentric, RecklessSelfishImmature Mode
ACCOUNTING
CONTROL CARE
ADAPTED NATURAL
-
-
-
-
++
+ +
Criticising ModeBossy, Fault Finding,Punitive
Inspiring, Directive,FirmStructuring Mode
AlertAwareGroundedRational
Co-operative/Assertive ModeSociable, Assertive,Considerate
Anxious, RebelliousSubmissiveCompliant/Resistant Mode
Marshmallowing ModeOverindulgent, InconsistentSmothering
Cherishing, UnderstandingCompassionateNurturing Mode
Input and output of facts and information
Spontaneous ModeCreative, ExpressiveZestful
Egocentric, RecklessSelfishImmature Mode
‘Spot the Ego State’
• Which Ego State is ‘A’ in?
• From which sub-conscious Ego States might ‘B’ respond?
• What would those responses look and sound like?
• What would a response by ‘B’ in Adult Ego state look/sound like?
Reflection & discussion
• Revisit the scenario you thought about at the start of the session.
• In what ego states were you and the other(s) during the interaction?
• If you find that the exchange was mainly reactive (Parent, Child) what would you have done differently in a conscious (Adult) state?
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