Acknowledge, Ask, Adapt
Training Strategies to Improve Communication with Family Members in
Collaborative RelationshipsLaurie Beckel, MA/LPCPyramid Model Coach/Trainer
Permission to use materials given by:
Teacher Training and Implementation
Administrative Supports
Program Philosophy
Well-defined procedures
Designing Supportive EnvironmentsDesigning Supportive Environments
Building Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive Relationships
Social-Emotional Social-Emotional Teaching StrategiesTeaching Strategies
Individualized Individualized Intensive Intensive
InterventionsInterventions
Module 1Module 1
Module 2Module 2
Module 3a, 3bModule 3a, 3b
The Teaching Pyramid Promotes Social-Emotional
Competence
Why Build Relationships?
• Relationships are at the foundation of everything we do. Build relationships early – don’t wait until there is a problem.
• Children learn and develop in the context of relationships. Adults too!
• Children with the most challenging behaviors especially need these relationships, and yet their behaviors often prevent them from benefiting from those relationships.
Building Positive Relationships
• Adults’ time and attention are very important to children.
• We need to give time and attention at times other than when they are engaging in challenging behavior.
• Family members and other colleagues (mental health providers, therapists) are critical partners in building children’s social emotional competence.
• We should all work together to ensure children’s success and prevent challenging behavior.
Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt
• Acknowledge Recognize the difference between your
thoughts and the thoughts of another person (often cultural)
With an adult, this is usually done verbally
• Ask Respectfully ask the adult for more
information in order to more fully understand and clarify the issue
• Adapt Seek out a common ground when possible Come to resolution that addresses the real
issue Program for Infant Toddler Care, (PITC) WestEd
Potential OutcomesWhen resolutions address real issues, several
outcomes are possible• Resolution through mutual understanding &
negotiation Both parties see the other’s perspective and give a little
or a lot These conflicts result in a “win-win” negotiation with
movement from both sides• Resolution through teacher education
Teacher sees the family’s perspective. Teacher changes.• Resolution through family education
Family sees the teacher’s perspective. Family changes.• No resolution
Agree to disagree and learn to cope respectfully Neither changes and conflict continues
Janet Gonzlez-Mena
Negotiation“[With negotiation] it’s not a
question of giving up everything we know. It’s a question of
balancing what we know and what the parent knows, and
figuring out together what would be in the best interests of the
child.”
Louise Derman-Sparks
Practice Always Helps• Listen as Linda and
Sandi have a conversation using Acknowledge, Ask & Adapt (A-A-A)
• Read over the story• Notice what the
“mother” didn’t share• Now you practice this
same conversation• One person be the
teacher, one be the mother
• The third person, watch them to see what they do well
Guidelines for Teachers• Same initial paragraph, then teacher
specific: Provides the teacher’s perspective (which
might not match yours) You initiate the conversation with the family
member- Feel free to be warm and say nice things about
their child to start with (relationship building!)- The Acknowledge and Ask sections give you
some ideas for starting that conversation- Stay in the “Teacher” mode and be as real as
possible
Guidelines for Family Members
• Same initial paragraph, then family specific: You can be the mother, father,
grandparent, or anyone else who is actively raising this child (unless it states otherwise)
The “teacher” has been given some ideas of how to start the conversation with you- You can respond to the teacher in any way
that feels natural to you in your role as the family member
- Try and respond with answers that come from the perspective points listed for the family member
Let’s Practice Acknowledge, Ask, & Adapt• Same groups• Everyone does three
vignettes, switching roles from observer, to teacher, to parent or other staff member
• Use Practice Feedback form as the observer to help guide your feedback
• Stay in your role!• Share all perspectives at
the end of each vignette
A-A-A Has Many Uses
• Staff members also have different “buttons,” different beliefs and values, differences about how to approach behavior
• We can use this process of “Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt” as a way of having dialogue and respectful conversations
• Sometimes the presence of a facilitator can be helpful for tense conversations
• There are many “right” ways to do things!
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