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Introduction to theFiveFiveLOVE
LANGUAGES
How to Express HeartfeltCommitment to Your Mate
Gary ChapmanGary Chapman
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1. Words of Armation
I can lie for t!o months on a "oodcom#liment.$ %&ar' (!ain
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)ec'less !ords #ierce li'e a s!ord*+ut the ton"ue of the !ise +rin"shealin".$
,roer+s 1-1/
A "entle ans!er turns a!a0 !rath*
+ut a harsh !ord stirs u# an"er.$,roer+s 11
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Loe is a )e2uest* Not a
3emand4ou 'no! those a##le #ies 0ou
ma'e5 Would it +e #ossi+le for 0ou
to ma'e one this !ee'5 I loethose a##le #ies.$
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Loe is a )e2uest* Not a
3emand6aen7t had an a##le #ie since the
+a+0 !as +orn. 3on7t "uess I7ll "et
an0 more a##le #ies for ei"hteen0ears.$
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-. 8ualit0 (ime
9 Giin" someone 0our undiided attention.
9 Sharin" an actiit0 in !hich !e are "iin"our full attention to the other #erson.
9 8ualit0 conersation* focusin" on !hat !eare hearin" % listenin" s0m#atheticall0.
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&0 doe in the clefts of the roc'* inthe hidin" #laces on themountainside* sho! me 0our face*
let me hear 0our oice: for 0ouroice is s!eet* and 0our face isloel0.$
Son" of Solomon -1;
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,rinci#les of 8ualit0 (ime
1. At least one of 0ou !ants to do it.
-. (he other is !illin" to do it.
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=a++lin" =roo' ? the 3ead Sea
If 0ou are a 3ead Sea on a date !itha =a++lin" =roo'* 0ou !ill hae a
!onder ni"ht. 4ou !on7t hae to!orr0* 6o! !ill I "et theconersation started toni"ht5$ She
!ill @ll u# the !hole eenin" and0ou !ill "o home sa0in"* What a!onderful #erson.$
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=a++lin" =roo' ? the 3ead Sea
On the other hand* if 0ou are a=a++lin" =roo' on a date !ith a
3ead Sea* 0ou !ill hae an e2uall0!onderful time +ecause 3ead Seasare the !orld7s +est listeners. 6e !ill
listen intentl0 to 0ou* and 0ou !ill "ohome sa0in"* What a !onderful#erson.$ 4ou attract each other.
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=a++lin" =roo' ? the 3ead Sea
=ut @e 0ears after marria"e* the=a++lin" =roo' !a'es u# one
mornin" and sa0s* We7e +eenmarried @e 0ears* and I don7t'no! him.$ (he 3ead Sea is
sa0in"* I 'no! her too !ell. I !ishshe !ould sto# and "ie me a+rea'.$
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=a++lin" =roo' ? the 3ead Sea
(he "ood ne!s is that 3ead Seascan learn to tal' and =a++lin"
=roo's can learn to listen.
We are inuenced +0 our #ersonalit0+ut not controlled by it.
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,rinci#les of Giin" Gifts
1. Gifts 0ou +u0
-. Gifts 0ou ma'e
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;. Acts of Serice
4ou call me F(eacherF and FLord*F andri"htl0 so* for that is !hat I am.
No! that I* 0our Lord and (eacher*hae !ashed 0our feet* 0ou alsoshould !ash one anotherFs feet. I
hae set 0ou an e>am#le that 0oushould do as I hae done for 0ou.$
Cohn 1
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;. Acts of Serice
4ou* m0 +rothers* !ere called to +efree. =ut do not use 0our freedom
to indul"e the sinful nature: rather*sere one another in loe. (heentire la! is summed u# in a sin"le
command Loe 0our nei"h+or as0ourself.$
Galatians 1-%1;
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,rinci#les of Serice
1. Loe is a choice: it cannot +ecoerced.
-. Serice can +e done out of loe*or it can +e done out of fear*"uilt* and resentment.
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Oercomin" Stereot0#es
A !illin"ness to e>amine and chan"estereot0#es is necessar0 in order to
e>#ress loe more eHectiel0.
)emem+er* there are no re!ards formaintainin" stereot0#es* +ut thereare tremendous +ene@ts to meetin"the emotional needs of 0our s#ouse.
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. ,h0sical (ouch
Cesus reco"nied the im#ortance of
sho!in" loe throu"h #h0sical touch.
Billed !ith com#assion* Cesus reached
out his hand and touched the man.$&ar' 1;1
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,eo#le !ere +rin"in" little childrento Cesus to hae him touch them*+ut the disci#les re+u'ed them.
1;When Cesus sa! this* he !asindi"nant. 6e said to them* Let thelittle children come to me* and do
not hinder them* for the 'in"domof God +elon"s to such as these.$
&ar' 1J1
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A Note to the &en
3o not confuse se>ual desire !ith theemotional need to feel loed.
E>am#le
If 0our s#ouse !as meetin" 0our se>ualneeds as often as 0ou desire* +ut she
!as "iin" 0ou ne"atie !ords*criticiin" 0ou* #uttin" 0ou do!n in frontof others* !ould 0ou feel loed +0 her5$
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(he FiveFiveLoe Lan"ua"es
1. Words of Armation
-. 8ualit0 (ime
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(he FiveFiveLoe Lan"ua"es
(a'e the 2ui online
!!!.loelan"ua"es.com
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(he FiveFiveLoe Lan"ua"es
1. Learn !hat 0our #rimar0 Kandsecondar0 loe lan"ua"e is.
-. Learn !hat 0our s#ouse7s loelan"ua"e is.
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