8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com
1/13
20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will
Understand
http://www.gamebasin.com/news/20-problems-only-skyrim-fans-will-
understand
Whenwasthelasttimeyoudevotedhundredsofhourstosomethingthatwasntwork,studyor
sleeping?Well
since
youre
reading
this,
the
obvious
answer
is
almost
certainly
only
one
thing.
In
fact,theaforementioned activitiesarenothingbuthindrancesonceyoustartyournewlife;your
reallife,inSkyrim.DoyoureallywanttogotothatfriendspartyonFriday?Wellofcoursenot
youvegotserioussmithingtoattendto,perkstounlockanddragonstoslaydammit!Letsbefair,
the outside world looks absolutely dire compared to the epically handcrafted lands of
Tamrielanyway.Jump200gaminghoursintothefutureandyounowownhousesineverypossible
Hold of Skyrim;area proud Harbinger of the Companions andthe Listener of the Dark
Brotherhood.YoureaNightingale;haverestoredtheThievesGuildtotheultimatestrengthand
arenow(dependingonyourchoices)abadassVampireLordwithyourveryowncastle.Nowthats
quitean
impressive
CV;
but
its
not
an
easy
one
to
accomplish.
Here
are
the
most
frustrating
(and
equallyhilarious)Skyrimproblemsweveallencounteredatsomepointinourepicjourneythrough
Tamriel.
20. Missing Something Important During A Cut
Scene Because Youre Too Busy Admiring
Yourself In Third Person
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Youspentagood40minutescraftingthefaceofyourcharacter,onlytoneverseeit.Naturallythen,
youregonnacheckyofineselfwhenthatcutscenecomeson.ItsonlywhentheJarlhasfinished
speakingandyouhaveabsolutelynoideawhatyouredoingthatyouregretit.
19. Realising Youve Spent More Time Staring
At Loading Screens Than Actually Playing
Skyrim
Three thingswe spendmostofour timedoingon Skyrim: killing things, stealing things and
waitingforthegametoload.AtleastwecanincreasethealreadyenlargedSkyrimtriviasectionof
ourbrain
while
we
twiddle
our
thumbs
on
the
controller.
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18. Regretting The Person You Chose To Marry,
And Never Being Able To Divorce Them
Skyrim:aworldwheremassmurderisroutine,butadulteryisoutofthequestion.Theonlyway
youcangetridofapartnerisbybeingatotalnastybuggerandkillingthem,whichstillleavesyou
unabletomarryagain,evenifyoucontinuetoweartheAmuletofMara.Soyouremaininaloveless
marriagewith awomanwho sells lockpicks in your livingroom,occasionallymakes food, and
doesntseemtomindtheotherwomanyouspendthemajorityofyourtimewith(thatjustso
happenstobelivinginyourbedroom).Hey,itmightwork
17. Finding A Ridiculous Glitch, And
LOVING It
The ultimate
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feeling coming across a backwardsflyingdragon or seeing a villager halfmorphed with a
parsnip eventhoughovertimemosthavebeenpatchedout,Skyrimisabevyofhilaritywhenit
comestostupidvisualglitches.UnlessyouplayPC,thatis,inwhichcasetheresacrazyamount
ofmods/exploitstodiscover thatll let you tweak everything from randomly falling cheese to
multiplefollowers.Youlucky,luckypeople.
16. Discovering About 90% Of People You Meet
Are Racist
TheragingracismamongtheHoldsofSkyrimbecomesobviousthemomentyoubegininteracting
withcharacters.WhetheritsamereDamnElvesorafullblownIcantbelieveweletprovincials
likeyouwanderSkyrim(ouch),youllprobablyhavegottenyourselfintoafewpubbrawlsdueto
it.
15. Dreaming About Skyrim More Than You Dream
About Your Own Life
8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com
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Whether itsbeingservedbyAelatheHuntress inBurgerKing,fightingoffDraugrs inyourback
gardenorcomingintoworktofindaninfestationofMudcrabs:therecomesatimewhenSkyrim
worldnotonlystartsto infiltrateyourthoughts intheworkingday,butentersdeep insideyour
unconsciousmindtoo.Reallife?Whatisthisdevilryyouspeakof?
14. Having To Walk The Entire Journey To
Whiterun Because Youre Too Greedy To Drop
Items
Youcannotfasttravelwhileoverencumbered.Youarecarryingtoomuchtobeabletorun.
Absolutefirst
world
problems.
Whats
worse
is
the
fact
your
follower
is
maxed
out
on
capacity,
too.Time for the excruciatingly slow crawl back homewhere youll find yourself selling cack
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tonnesofrubbishtomerchants,simplytolevelupyourspeech,leadingtomoreperks;allsoyou
cansellmorerubbishtothem.Ah,theviciouscircleofgreedandcommerce.
13. Breaking A Dozen Lockpicks To Open A
Master Locked Chest, Only To Find Two Gold
And A Potato Inside
Oh.
Everyones.God.
Lockpicking
in
Skyrim
isnt
the
most
difficult
of
tasks,
but
it
can
soon
turn
you
Hulkish ifyourendlesstwiddling isdelayingaquest.Notforgettingtheabsoluteviolentrageas
yourlastlockpicksnaps.
12. Having More Gold Then Youll Ever Need,
Yet Still Scouring Every Urn For 3 Coins
Which May Or May Not Be There
8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com
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Itsphysicallyimpossibletoresistrunningpastaselectionofurnswithoutlooting:eveniftheyre
empty,wesimplycanthelpourselves.Thesamegoesforprettymuchanythingwecanpickup
well break our necks beforewe dart past awildflowerpatchwithout grabbing em. The only
exceptioniswoodenbowlswhichyoullpickupEVERYTIMEwithoutintendingto.
11. Going On A Killing Spree And Accidentally
Saving The Game
Wait!IknowyouAfteratoughdayatwork,sometimesallyouneedisamurderousrampage
onSkyrimtomakeitallbetter.Virtualmassacresarethestressrelieftheydonttellyouaboutat
thedoctors,andboydotheywork allupuntilthepointyoufumbleontothatSavebuttonrather
thanthe
Load.
Hello,
Prison.
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10. When Your Horse Jumps Into Battle To Help
You Fight And Dies
Youcanthelpbutfeelalittleattachedtoyourfirsthorse,sowhenyourvaliantsteedjumpsinto
tackleanenemyitcanallbecomealittleemotional.Nottomentionthats1000ingolddown
theshoot.ThenyouacquireShadowmere,andthingsgetpersonal(thatis,ifhehasntgonemissing
yet).Keepthosedamnarrowsawayfromthysteed,bitches.
9. Realising Your Hoarding Obsession Is
Getting Out Of Control
8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com
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Skyrimhoardingisadebilitatingdisease.Pilingasmanyinanimateobjectsaspossibleonthefloor
ofyourhomeandaccumulatingtheentiretyofyourgemsandgoldingotsinthecellar:itcanall
getverySmaugish.Itswhenyoustartgettingnaked,oilingyourselfupandwrithingthroughitall
though,thatyouneedtostartworrying.Awordofadvice: ifyoutrystackingstuff immediately
afterdropping,itwontstaytherethenexttimeyouloadin,insteadgoingrightbacktotheposition
it wasdropped (as you may have already annoyingly discovered) so once youve dropped
something,leave,THENreturntotheroomandarrangetheminyourhoarderesquefashion.Less
lag,andeasierstacking.Getgoing,youtruly,trulyoutrageousperson.
8. Thinking Someone Is Friendly Then Suddenly
Hearing The Words Never Should Have Come
Here
WevelearnttotrustnobodyinSkyrim:seeminglyapproachablebanditscanturnviciousinseconds,
andsuddenlyturntoangryreddotsonyourradar.Cantwealljustbefriends?Timetogettheaxe
out.
7. Realising You Cant Actually Thuum
In Real Life
8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com
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You
know
thoseslowwalkingpeopleyoufindinyourwaywhenrushingthroughtown?Imagineifyoucould
literallyshoutthemoutthewaynowthatwouldbeawesome.Nottomentionthefactyoudhave
the best party trick ever and probablymake loads ofmoney on some Extraordinary Bodies
Channel4documentary.Thatsaid,thoseslowwalkers(inSkyrimreality)areprobablyjustpoor
overencumbered travellers trudgingbackhome todropoffabackbreakingamountofdragon
bone.
6. Having Arachnophobia And Playing Skyrim
Holy spider
balls.Welcometoyourgreatestfear,cometrue.Themomentyouseemoundsofominouswebon
BleakFallsBarrowisthemomentyourcontrollerbeginstosuffocatefromyourprofuselysweaty
palms.IstheGoldenClawreallyworththis?
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5. Accidentally Fus Ro Dah-ing
Someone Youre Sneaking Up On
Even worse,
whenyoureonamountaintopandhittheshoutbuttoninsteadofthesprintbutton;resultingin
youshootingoffaclifftoyourdeath.Goodjob,NoobyNoobingtonofNoobrim.
4. When A Quest-Giver Is Killed Before You
Get Back To Them
Soyouve
gone
on
alovely
little
bear
killing
quest
for
Aela
the
Huntress,
and
fast
traveled
to
Windhelm to drop some stuff off at the house first.When you get there,youre greeted by
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acouriersayingthatAeladiedand leftyou inheritance. Inheritance? Iwanttofinishthisquest
dammit!Whatsworseiswhenyourefollowingthewaypointformilesuponmilestofindnothing
butacorpseatyourdestination.Great.
3. Forgetting To Save After An Epic
AccomplishmentAnd Then Dying
Possiblythe
worst
thing
agamer
can
ever
do.
Youve
just
spent
your
entire
evening
fighting
torturouslythroughaseriesofcaves,onlytogetpastthemanddiewithouthavingactuallysaved.
Thefinalkickintheteeth?DiscoveringtheAutosaveisntyourfriendeither.Herewegoagain
2. When The Battle Music Starts, And You Know
Sh*t Just Got Real
HUH.HUEA.HUH!Thenallofa suddenDRAGON. Itusuallyhappensat thepointyouhaveno
potions,noarrowsandamereinchonyourhealthbar.Itsworthitthough;forthemomentyou
finally land that killing blow in Sovngarde and watch Alduins hide blow off at the most
intensecrescendo of the song. Most epic sh*t in the world, right there. Be sure to listen to
thisduringyournextworkout,youwontregret it.Beastmode:activateDovahkiin,Dovahkiin,
forthesakeofSkyrim!
8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com
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1. Realising Youve Completed 100% Of The
Achievements, To Find Out Bethesda Are Not
Releasing Any More DLC
Isthisit?Isthistheend?Solong,myfrienditsbeenemotional.ManyRimmerssaythatthegame
doesntend,which is true toanextent if youcount the radiantquests.Devotedhardcore
playerswhohavediscoveredeverylocation,clearedalldungeons,finishedallstorylinesandside
quests,own(andhavebuilt)housesineverycity,haveallthewordsofpower,acquiredfullsetsof
armour,spells,weaponsetc (andhavedonethiswithacharacterofeveryrace)havetheright
toofficiallymaybesaytheyvecompletedthegame.Still,itcouldgetinsanelyboringtaking
multipleplaythroughstosuchlevels,andyoullprobablyhavenofriendsleftintherealworld.
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