Young & Bored: The Purple Platypus (Animated)

By

Jordan Zangrillo

EST. BRIANS HOUSE. MORNING

Brian is a teenager, around 14, a white, pale, skinny,long-haired kid who routinely wears a blue hoodie. His longhair casts a shadow over his eyes, so you can never seethem.

We see a shot of Brians house along with the rising sun. Arooster is perched ontop of a roof, calling "cockadoodledoo".

morning music plays.

INT. BRIANS ROOM. MORNING

Brian slowly wakes up to the sounds of the rooster, yawns,hits his bowl (laying near his bedside), then goes back tosleep. The sun rises indicating noon. That same rooster isseen leaving walking across Brians window humorouslycarrying a briefcase. He spots Brian still asleep, shakeshis head in disappointment, then knocks on the window towake him up. He continues to walk off screen as Brian slowlywakes up. Once again he yawns.

again, morning music plays.

BRIAN(yawns)

Morning already?

He gets up from his bed then stretches. He walks overtowards his window staring out at it.

BRIANAhh, what a beautiful day to bealive.

He then closes both his blinds on his windows, preventingany light from getting in.

the morning music stops playing.

He turns on the radio.

BRIANAh, time to see what the world islistening to...

First song that plays, a melancholy song;

"I wonder why she left me...all broken and lonely"

He changes to another channel, this time a rap song;

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

"I got money yo. I got money son. I got money money money"

He changes the channel again only to land on one of hisfavorite bands.

BRIANAw yes! The Purple Platypuses!Finally the radio playing somethinggood for once.

Brian drums with his pens on his desk, showing that heposses some musical talent. The song finishes in an epicdrum solo, then the Clown Disk Jockey gets on. He isliterally a clown.

CLOWN DISK JOCKEYOK kids! Anyone who can name thatsong WINS TWO TICKETS TO SEE THEPURPLE PLATYPUSES TONIGHT IN VALLEYSTREAM PARK!

BRIANTWO TICKETS TO SEE THE PURPLEPLATYPUSES!!! HOLY SHIT!

Brian reaches for his phone, fumbling it at first out ofnervousness. It rings once

CLOWN DISK JOCKEYWOW that was fast. Ok, what is...

BRIAN-The name of the song is JollyUnderneath the Broken Bridge byThe Purple Playtapuses!

CLOWN DISK JOCKEYWhoa, hey! Whatya know? Thatscorrect!! Congratulations kid!Youre going to see the PurplePlatypuses!

BRIAN(screams like a little girl)

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

CLOWN DISK JOCKEYHaha, alright kid settle down.Anyways kids, now heres some timeto enjoy a fun word from oursponsor!

The show cuts to a commercial about a little kids product.They exchange information then Brian hangs up the phone.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 3.

BRIANIts a dream come true! A dreamcome true! And now, finally, I willget a chance to meet my hero! Theperson who inspired me to makemusic art. The person who I look upto and admire most, Lord of theDrums... Rennolds!

Brian runs over to his poster of Rennolds hanging up on hiswall. It is revealed that Brian has all The PurplePlatypuses albums, posters, and movies. He looks up at theposter. He begins to daydream, then suddenly Rennolds in theposter extends his hand towards Brian. Brian greets his handwith his, then is pulled into the poster. The background isvery dreamy.

BRIANWow Rennolds, Im such a huge fan.Youre such a hero of mine, youmean so much to me, and I justwanted to say...Thank you. Youremusic really inspired me to studyalternate forms of percussion.

RENNOLDS(nods his head)

Awesome man. Right on. Music is allaround us, if you just let yourselflisten.

BRIANWow, this is awesome. Me andRennolds. No one is ever going tobelieve this...

Just then, Brian gets a devilish idea.

BRIAN (CONT)Hey Rennolds, Im kind ofembarrassed to ask you this... butdo you think I could get yourautograph?

RENNOLDS(smiles)

Sure Brian. Anything for you.

Brians fantasy bubble phases out as he is pushed out theposter and down onto the floor.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 4.

BRIAN(in wonder)

Wow...

Brian walks over to his desk.

BRIANTime to see what ladies I shouldinvite to come see the PurplePlatypuses with me, since I have anextra ticket and all...

He opens up his drawer and pulls out his black book.

BRIAN (CONT)Ahh yes. My master collectionof girls numbers Ive saved overthe years.

He opens the book but there is nothing but cobwebs and alonely spider.

BRIANDamn it! My ladies list must beV.I.P. Guess theres only oneperson left to call...

Brian picks up the phone and dials.

EST. DAVEDS HOUSE. DAY

From downstairs you can hear an older woman (Daveds mom)screaming and cussing. We can hear the phone ringing overthe woman from up above in the attic.

INT. DAVEDS ATTIC. DAY

Daved is a teenager around 14, dark skinned, fit, wears lotsof black and has a huge mohawk (bigger then his head). Helives up in his attic comfortably. He has his window openand is embracing the sunlight.

He is whistling the same morning music from earlier. He iscooking breakfast eggs on an electric skillet in his room.He pulls out a bread roll, splits it in two, then places theeggs on the bottom half. He then grabs a handful of doritoschips and places them on top of the eggs. He closes it withthe top bun then takes a giant bite out of it. He picks uphis ringing phone.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 5.

DAVED(mouth full)

Whuts good.

BRIANDaved! I won two tickets to see ThePurple Platypuses tonight at ValleyStream!

DAVEDSick! Im coming.

BRIANNot so fast. Who says Im invitingyou? Theres a long list of ladiesawaiting my invite...

DAVEDBrian we both know you dont knowany ladies.

(beat)

BRIAN...Well alright then, I guess youcan come. Seeing as youre the onlygirl I know.

DAVEDThis is awesome man, I cant wait.I cant wait to get fucked up ashell. Im already trying to drink,you think well be abe to cop someMolly?

BRIANUh, Yeah? Sure. Its a show. Imsure their will be something.Purple Platypuses target audienceis usually drugged out teenagers.

DAVEDSick. Alright. But first...I haveto take a shit.

BRIAN(sighs)

Well fine, but hurry up. Meet me atthe train station when youre done.We have to get there before thecrowds.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 6.

DAVEDDeuces.

Brian & Daved both hang up their phones.

EST. LONG ISLAND RAIL ROAD. DAY

A shot of the Baldwin Train Station as trains are coming inand out. Brian and Daved are already on the train.

INT. TRAIN. DAY

Daved and Brian sit next to each other.

BRIANHey do I look alright? Do I gotanything in my teeth? Bags under myeyes?

DAVEDWhy does it matter what you looklike? Were there to wreck havoc,not to win a beauty contest.

BRIANWell Daved, as a matter of fact,today is the day Im not only goingto meet Rennolds, but Im going toget his autograph as well!

DAVEDWhos Rennolds?

BRIANWhat?

(sigh)Hes the drummer for the PurplePlatypuses. Hes my musical idol.And once I have his autograph... Iwill have captured his essence andstored it so that itll be mineforever! Muhahaha!

DAVEDWhoa man, I dont think thats sucha great idea.

BRIANWhat? Why not?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 7.

DAVEDWell man, you know what they say...Never meet your heroes.

BRIANWhat? Who says that?

DAVED(winces)

They say it.

BRIANAhh, thats baloney

DAVEDIts not baloney Brian! It happenedto me! Once, a very long timeago...last summer... I actually metone of my heroes...

FLASHBACK: INT. 7/11 STORE. NIGHT

Daved stumbles drunk into a 7/11 eating a turkey sandwichwith doritos on it.

DAVED (V.O.)It was around 3 a.m. when Istumbled upon a 7/11 looking to copa dutch. Naturally I gravitatedtowards the magazines, when all ofa sudden, I saw him...

Josh Gad turns around. Daved is frozen still in completeshock.

DAVED(star struck)

Dude... youre Josh Gad.

JOSH GADYeah?

DAVED(still star struck)

Dude...youre that dude in allthose party movies dude!

JOSH GADYea? So?

Daved automatically extends his arm offering Josh Gad hissandwich.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 8.

DAVED(still star struck)

Here. Take my sandwich.

Josh Gad inspects the sandwich.

JOSH GADDoes that sandwich have doritos onit??

DAVED(still star struck)

Yes...

JOSH GAD(disgusted)

Ughh...no thanks. Thats kindaweird. Taking a sandwich from somecreepy homeless guy...

Daved goes from star struck to heart broken. Josh Gad walksaway and Daved drops his sandwich onto the floor. Thedoritos pour out everywhere. Daved covers his eyes to hidethe shame of his tears. Fade out.

INT. TRAIN. DAY

DAVEDSo you see Brian...I do know whatIm talking about. Never meet yourheroes! Youll always be shocked tofind that they...are just as humanas you.

BRIAN...Well Im not gonna offer him anasty ass sandwich. Im just askingfor his autograph. Thats all.

DAVED(sighs)

The folly of man is not being ableto admit what he doesnt alreadyknow...

BRIANWhat? What does that even mean?Shut up, you dont know anything.

The train soon arrives and Daved and Brian depart.

9.

EXT. VALLEY STREAM PARK. DAY

Brian and Daved get on a long line at the Park Ticket Booth.There are many little kids in line with their parents. The"Pokemon theme song" can be heard playing in the background.

DAVEDWhoa. Is that the Pokemon themesong?

BRIANMm, ya I think so.

DAVEDDude, I havent heard that shitsince I was like 10.

BRIANYep.

DAVED...Hey, is it just me, or are therea lot of 10 year olds here?

BRIAN(ill-affected)

Well I guess it makes sense...While The Purple Platypuses havesharp political satire along withstrong social commentary, theyoften disguise their messages inthe form of little kids songs.

DAVEDSo then... its a kids show? Brianalways knows where the cool partysat.

They enter onto the main turf.

BRIANIts what gives them such a cultfollowing and what adds to theallure of the Purple Platypuses.Thats just one of the many reasonswhy Rennolds is my id-

From the corner of Brians eye he catches a glimpse ofRennolds leaving his tent and then quickly disappearingafter walking backstage.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 10.

BRIANHOLY SHIT! ITS RENNOLDS!

The parents cover the ears of their young as Brian and Davedrun towards the gate where Brian just saw Rennolds pass.

BRIANDamn it! We just missed him! Wewere so close!

DAVEDYeah. Too bad this stupid gate ishere.

BRIANDude fuck the gate. Lets just hopit.

DAVEDHey ya well just...hey, wait aminute... And risk getting introuble? Thats not very like youBrian...

Brian turns around seemingly possessed under a spell.

BRIAN(deep voice)

HELP ME OVER THIS GATE OR I WILLPUNISH YOU.

DAVEDAh, Ok. Geez.

Daved helps Brian up when suddenly a security officer with amustache stops them.

SECURITY OFFICERHey! What do you punks think yourdoin?

BRIAN(back to normal)

Oh, uh. Nothing? We were just uh,trying to see if we could get tomeet Rennolds really quick.

SECURITY OFFICERSorry boys. Im afraid I cantallow you to do that. Only peoplewith a backstage pass are allowedto enter through this gate.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 11.

BRIANOh yeah I have one of those...letssee...its, umm... hold on let mefind it...

Brian and Daved check their pockets for about 15 coldminutes. The security guard stares blankly at them.

BRIANHuh... I must of misplaced it onaccident. You should just let us inanyway. You know, to make up forlost time...

SECURITY OFFICER(angrily)

What! Get outta here ya bunch ofpunks! And dont let me catch yaover here again!

Brian and Daved exit the area and arrive on the main turf.

BRIANGod what a dick! What a stinkysmelly dick!

DAVEDI dont know, I thought he smeltkind of good. He had a lot ofcologne on.

BRIANWe were so close! We cant turnback now. Its right there. We justgotta keep pushing.

DAVEDHmmm, alright. If this is how todayis gonna go down, then Im gonnaneed somethin to drink...

Daved walks over to a booth selling all kinds of drinks. Abored looking man stands there.

DAVEDHey chief, slide me 2 cold ones,would ya?

MANWe dont serve "cold ones" heresir.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 12.

DAVEDWhat? What about a warm one then? Ihave an I.D.! And by no means is itcounterfeit!

MANNo sir, I mean, this is a RadioDisney event. Geared towards goodclean fun and entertainment. Noalcohol is permitted on thepremises...

a dramatic birds eye view shot of Daved from above as hestares up into the sky yelling.

DAVEDNOOO0O0O0O0O0O0O0O!!!

the camera pans out revealing a bird shitting over him fromup above.

EXT. CENTER FIELD. DAY

Both Brian & Daved are sitting down in Auguste Rodins TheThinker pose. Their backs face each other and they arequietly talking to themselves.

BRIANIve got to find a way to get pastthat guard. If only I had abackstage pass...

DAVEDI gotta finda way to get fuckedup!..If only I had some weed.

BRIANYou know, Ill bet some littletwerp out there has a pass. Maybe Icould use that!

DAVEDIll bet one of these kids issellin. Shit I was smokin allsorts of crazy stuff at their age.

Brian and Daved both get up and look at each other.

BRIANAlright. I got an idea. Its a longshot, but its worth it.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 13.

DAVEDIt must be true then, great mindsthink alike.

EXT. FRONT FIELD. NEAR STAGE. DAY

Daved and Brian make their way through a giant crowd of ahundred kids.

Brian, in one direction, is snooping up and down each kidlooking to see whos got a pass, but finds nothing.

Daved is in another direction, discretely calling for drugs.

DAVED.....Bud? ..........Bud?........Bud?

All of the little kids in Daveds way shrug their shouldersas if to say cant help.

Brian spots a young boy in a business suit with slicked-backgelled hair talking to some girl off in the corner. Briannotices the pass tied around the kids neck. He shoves alittle kid out of his way and gets on all 4s like a wildanimal after its prey...

Daved is still calling for bud and is pushing through thecrowd of little kids when all of a sudden his leg abruptlygets caught. He looks down and see a small happy fat kidhugging his leg very tightly.

DAVEDWhat the-

FAT KIDBuddy!!!

DAVEDUgh! Drugs not hugs!

Daved shakes his leg up & down but the fat kid wont let go.

Brian stealthily creeps up behind the rich boy as he speaks

RICH BOYAs you can see Im currentlyattending Yale Elementary. Itswhere all the most prestigiouschildren attend preschool.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 14.

Brian slowly begins to untie the pass. The girl stares atBrian as he does this, but she says nothing. The rich boypulls out a monocle and places it in his eye.

RICH BOYI dont mean to brag, its just,youre such a pretty girl and, I,wanted to know if you would like tojoin me backstage. Perhaps to sharesome milk and cookies?

Brian finally gets the pass and runs away. The girl looksback up at the boy.

Daved is still trying to shake the fat kid off of his leg.

DAVEDGet off me loser!

But the fat kid snuggles his face into Daveds leg.

FAT KIDMmmmmmm. Buddy.

Brian runs over.

BRIANI got it! Cmon lets go!

DAVEDI cant. This kid wont let go ofme!

BRIANUh. Hey kid. Look over there! Itsyour parents!

The fat kid lets go.

FAT KIDMommy? Daddy?

Brian and Daved run away as fast as they can.

FAT KIDBut mommy and daddy are dead....

They make it out of the crowd but run right into theSecurity Guard who is standing with the rich boy and thegirl. Brian stops dead in his tracks.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 15.

SECURITY OFFICERWere boys you doin somethinillegal?

DAVEDIt was Brian!

BRIANIt was Daved!

SECURITY OFFICERWhich one of you stole this littleboys pass?

Brian hesitates.

BRIANOfficer. On the good of my nameIve never stolen anything beforein my life!

The guard towers over Brian to intimidate him. He snatchesthe pass out of Brians hands.

SECURITY OFFICEROh really? Whats the name on thepass say then?

BRIANIts, uh....

Brian looks at Daved who has no answers. There is a long andawkward silence.

BRIANOhh, ok I get it. This is a trick.Theres not really a name on thatpass...Im supposed to saysomething and just by me answeringthe question I get it wrong.

SECURITY OFFICER-The name on the pass IS WimpletonHumperdink!

BRIANHuh...Wow....Is it really?

RICH BOYPunish him!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 16.

SECURITY OFFICERStealing and then lying to theauthority of the law. Thats somehard time you boys are lookinat...

DAVEDBoys? What did I do?

SECURITY OFFICERYoure an accomplice! And if thetwo of you cant give me a goodreason why not to lock you up rightnow, then thats exactly whatsgonna happen. So...got anything tosay?

The pressure builds and Brian breaks the tension by doing agoofy dance. He stops. It is even more awkward then before.

BRIANOk...listen. Rennolds is my hero,and Ive waited my whole life toget to meet him. Maybe Im gettinga little star-struck and manic, butI ask you...have you ever had ahero that youve looked up to?

The security guard looks up towards the sky.

SECURITY OFFICERYou know what, Ive never thoughtof it that way. Ok boys youve --

The security officer watches Daved spit on the groundinfront of him.

SECURITY OFFICERHey! Dont spit on the ground!

Daved spits again.

DAVEDWhy not?

SECURITY OFFICERBecause I said so.

Daved spits again.

DAVEDIve got a spitting problem.

The security guard walks over and towers Daved.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 17.

SECURITY OFFICERThen learn to swallow like yourgirlfriend does.

Daved spits again.

DAVEDI dont have a girlfriend. Maybeyour mom can teach me.

Shot of angry security officer.

EXT. TIMEOUT. BACKFIELD. DAY

Daved and Brian are sitting in a fenced-in TIME OUT playpen.The pen has bars that represent prison. They are bothstaring at a large concrete wall in front of them with theirbacks facing the direction of the stage, all while wearingdunce caps.

DAVEDSure wish I was fucked up rightnow.

BRIAN...Is that all you know how to say?

DAVEDLook, my brain works like acomputer. Either its on, or itsoff. And when Im sober, its off.

BRIANGreat. So now what are we supposedto do? Hope & pray for a miracle?

Just then a monkey appears climbing on the branches of anearby tree.

DAVEDHey look, a monkey!

BRIANWho cares?

Daved points to the monkey. The monkey grabs a banana, sitsthere and stares back at them. Brian looks up at it. Itstares at Brian.

BRIANGod, can you believe we evolvedfrom monkeys?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 18.

Daved begins to speak, addressing the monkey.

DAVEDHey there! My ape brethren!

The monkey points to himself.

DAVEDYes, you ape brethren. We needyoure help. We need you to openthe gate.

Brian and Daved both stare at the monkey. The monkey fartsthen points back at them.

BRIANGod you see. Its just a stupidmonkey!

DAVEDBrian you can insult me all youwant. But dont insult the monkey,have some dignity.

BRIANOh please. That monkey doesnt knowwhat its like to have dreams! Ithas no finer feelings! Why for allit knows it cant even tell thedifference between its banana andits poop.

Brian yells through the dunce cap.

BRIANYou hear that! Youre stupidmonkey!

The monkey then throws the banana super hard like aboomerang and it knocks Brian out stone cold.

EXT. BRIANS DREAM. GRAVEYARD

A tombstone and several of Brians friends, including Daved,all dressed in black, stand over a grave.

DAVEDWere here today, to remember thelife that should have been. Tohonor the art that was never made.Nobody knew him, but that didntstop him from not existing...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 19.

One of the friends sheds a tear.

DAVEDYou will never see the music, andyou can never hear the face. Ifonly this soul would rise out ofthe dirt and deliver onto us themusic. Maybe then...will he havemattered.

A shot of the tombstone reads LOSER with an symbolunderneath it. The dream fades out

EXT. TIMEOUT. DAY

Brian wakes up clutching his head.

BRIANUgh...Daved? Daved! Where are you?

He turns to see Daved breaking up a banana peel with hishands onto a sheet of cigarette paper.

DAVEDSup loser.

Brian rubs his head.

BRIANWhat the hell happened...And whatthe hell are you doing?

DAVEDTryna smoke sum banana peels bro.Just like The Dead Milkmen.

BRIANThats just a song man! You cantactually...oh wait. Actually. Ithink you can. But it has to be...

DAVED-Exactly.

He lights the rolled cigarette and takes a massive hit. Heholds it in for a long time, then vomits hard all over theground. Daveds body turns green.

BRIAN...Dude your supposed to boil emand cook em first.

Daved spits.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 20.

DAVEDFuck you Brian.

He takes another puff, then again vomits.

BRIANGreat. How can this get any worse.

Just then a man gets on a loudspeaker near the stage andspeaks.

MAN IN LOUDSPEAKERHey kids, get your free PurplePlatypus signed gear right here!Theres only a few left so dont...

The kids all push and shove each other to get to the farside of the stage. The entire field is empty. Brian shakesthe playpen.

BRIANNo!!!

He on looks the little kids grabbing the merchandise. Heturns back and sees Daved in the middle of taking anotherhit then again vomiting.

DAVEDDude, fuck it... Rennolds isoverrated anyway.

The anger builds within Brian, and he attacks Daved. The twowrestle when suddenly a really thick skunky smell penetratesthough their noses. They both stop fighting and take a wiffof the air. We hear the beginning to the song, "Purple Haze"by Jimi Hendrix.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTER FIELD. DAY

A Giant Purple Platypus pushing an entire wheelbarrow fullof weed. The wheelbarrow has the word Purple written onthe front. The mascot is walking very clumsily due to itslarge size and its head is bobbing up and down to the bounceof the music.

The mascot wheels the barrow right past the timeout gate andthe door magically opens. Brian and Daved are in as muchshock as they are mystified, and so they hypnotically followThe Purple Platypus as he trots across the field.

21.

EXT. FIELD. DAY

The children are all distracted pushing and shoving eachother to get to the free merchandise at the front of thestage. shit gets real in back of them.

As Brian and Daved follow the allure of the purple platypusthe colors of the field turn trippy and psychedelic. Theiris a big tree near the gate that has big stoned eyes and abig fat grin. He bobs to the music. The sun is wearingshades smokin a fat j shining to the music. The grass swaysto the music as the platypus trots by. everything is eitherbouncing or swaying to the music.

The Platypus approaches the guard. Flowers around theguards feet grow to the size of humans and they startdancing hypnotically back and forth. The security guardinexplicably breaks into dancing with one of the giantflowers. The guard dances and gets lost in the music.

A random street-light turns green and the gate opens. ThePlatypus enters with Brian and Daved coasting through theair right behind him.

EXT. BACK ALLEY. DAY

the music continues to play as they move past the gate.

They turn a corner and enter a back alley. Garbage cans haveeyes and are dancing. The small individual pieces of trashinside the garbage can are also dancing. Graffiti on thewalls turn into a trippy visualizer to the music. There is asign that says Get High with an arrow pointing up. Davedsees it and gives a salute.

The backdoor opens and the Platypus walks in, but as he doesthis the rich boy and girl from earlier also simultaneouslyexit. The magic fades & disappears when the children comeout. The colors of the back alley turn back into theirnormal dark/cold colors. The alley reveals it is actuallydark and scary. The garbage cans go back to being dead,and the trippy graffiti becomes vandalism. The kids aretalking amongst themselves, as Brian and Daved panic worriedtheyll be caught.

BRIANShit, the kids!

The Get High sign which Daved is standing next to hasturned into a DO NOT CLIMB ROOF sign. He points to theroof.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 22.

DAVEDQuick, up here!

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY

Daved gives Brian a boost onto the roof, then Brian pullsDaved up in return... but he is struggling. Daveds legsflail. The kids walk by underneath him.

RICH BOYWow, Rennolds is so cool! I dontthink Ive ever met anyone as coolas Rennolds!

GIRLMe neither!

BRIANErrrrrrr.....

Brian growls in anger. Daved gets angry

DAVEDPull me up jackass!

Brian pulls extra hard and yanks Daved up ontop the roof.Daved looks agitated.

BRIANI cant believe those little twerpsgot to hang out with Rennolds! Ibet they dont even fullycomprehend the Purple Platypusmusic!

DAVEDWho gives a fuck man. Did you seeall that weed?

BRIAN-what weed?

Brian continues to talk but his voice gets drowned out inthe backgroud as a sexy olive green color scent moves acrossDaveds nose and wraps around it seductively. Daveds pupilsdilate. We focus back out to catch Brian finishing the endof his sentence.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 23.

BRIAN-but boy, what a platypus!

Daved abruptly runs and follows the scent.

BRIANHey, wait for me!

Brian follows Daved over to the back of the long roof wherethere a large open skylight window. Huge thick amounts blacksmoke are rising up out of it. Brian looks down into it.

Sitting in a circle passing a blunt around is Rennolds, therest of the band, and the guy in the Purple Platypus costume(who has now taken off the platypus head in order to smoke).The wheelbarrow of weed is in the middle. We cut back toBrian.

BRIANI cant believe it! Its like asexual fantasy!

Brian lifts his leg but the cocking of a gun is heard behindBrians head.

DAVEDNot..so...fast....Brian.

We see it is Daved wearing dark shades and holding a gunbehind Brians head. Brian has his arms up in surrender.

BRIAN(scared)

Daved man... what the fuck!

DAVEDYou compromise the mission Brian.

BRIANWhat mission!?

Daved moves around infront of Brian still pointing the gun.

DAVEDThe weed Brian. Im talkin aboutthe fuckin weed.

BRIANIs that a gun? Have you gonecompletely crazy!?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 24.

Daved takes off his shades to reveal that, yes, he has infact gone crazy. His eyes are separated going in differentdirections while he is drooling immensely. He has bags underhis eyes and wrinkles on his face.

DAVEDOh ok, so Im the one thats crazythen!

Daved pulls out a best friends picture of both Daved &Brian with their arms wrapped around each other. A cut-outpicture of Rennolds face is pasted over Daveds face.

DAVEDIf Im the ones thats crazy, thenexplain this!

In defense, Brian pulls out the same best friends picture,only except this time a picture of weed is cut out andpasted over Brians face.

BRIANOh ya, well you explain this!

Daved reaches over to Brians picture, peels the weed off,revealing a hidden secret picture of Rennolds pasted overBrians own face. Brians flabbergasted face is incrediblyfunny.

CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY

RENNOLDS takes a hit then passes it. The stage lady walksin.

STAGE LADYYoure on in 1 minute guys!

She leaves the room. The band looks stoned. One of themembers has a delayed reaction and looks both ways

BAND MEMBERWho said that?

CUT BACK TO: Daved now has Brian tied up on a giant treethats emerging over the rooftop. He is tied with purpleplatypus flag strings.

BRIANI cant believe you. To betray me.To go against the punk code likethat!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 25.

Daved fastens the knot.

DAVEDOh please Brian. Face it. Thetruths morale is in its plate.

Just then they hear a voice on a microphone from down on thestage.

STAGE LADYOk boys and girls, here they are,the purple platypuses!...purpleplatyapai! ......the purpleplatypus!

they start jamming and the crowd cheers.BRIAN

Oh! I love this song!

DAVEDWell thats my cue! Dont feel toobad Brian, at least you still getto enjoy the show!

Daved spins his gun around like a cowboy but accidentalopens up the bullet chamber in the process causing all thebullets fall out and roll down to the ground. Daved shrugshis shoulders.

DAVEDOh well. Whatever.

He tosses the gun away, turns, then jumps down the openskylight window. Brian struggles to break free the ropes butis unsuccessful.

BRIANTraitorr!

INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY

Daved descends from the roof like a warrior.

The Purple Platypus guy still in full costume leaps out ofhis chair in kung fu style. The two begin fighting. It isepic.

CUT TO:

26.

EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY

Brian is still struggling to get out when he hears a bandmembers voice from on stage.

CUT TO:

EXT. STAGE. DAY

A band member walks over to the mic and the audience cheers.

BAND MEMBERThank you. We wrote this next songabout being freed from the ropesthat tie us to a tree. Mainlybecause, well, after our firstalbum was produced, thats what ourmanager wanted to do to us! But wecontinued to jam!

they start hardcore jamming.CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY

Brian fights to break free once more but is stillunsuccessful, but he keeps trying.

lyrics about freeing strings from a tree.

CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY

Daved is still fighting the purple platypus. They knock overand break things in their way. They accidentally hit thewheelbarrow of weed, but before it can spill they both leapto the ground and save it. Once they both place the barrowback upright, they brush dust off of themselves, thencontinue fighting.

CUT TO:

27.

EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY

Brian has finally given up when suddenly the ropes seem tountie by themselves, as Brian falls to the rooftop. He landson his ass. He turns around, then sees it is the orangutanmonkey from earlier that he made fun of

the monkey is played by John Cleese.

MONKEYYou know just because we areMONKEYS doesnt mean that we arentINTELLIGENT. Truly great art canspeak to even the lowest form ofprimate.

Brian stares blankly at the monkey with a dropped jaw.CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY

Daved dishes a punishing blow to the head of the purpleplatypus, and he falls to the ground. Daved has won. We seehis shadow cast over the giant wheelbarrow of weed.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY

The monkey pulls out a pack of matches and places them inBrians hand.

MONKEYHere, take these. When the time isright, youll know what to do.

The monkey climbs up the tree and disappears. Briancontinues to stare blankly until he gets a wiff of smokethat has started reemerging out of the skylight window.

INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY

We see Daved smoking over by the mirror with his backturned.

The man in the purple platypus costume crawls out the mouthof the costume, then creeps up behind Daved. Right before hecan strike, we see him get smashed over the head witha purple platypus wine bottle. The man falls down revealingBrian behind him,

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 28.

BRIANIm sorry I had to do that to youyou beautiful wine bottle...

Brian grabs Daveds shoulder then turns him around. Davedhas a hugee smile ear to ear with 6 blunts in his mouthsmoking all of them at once. His eyes are completely red andhe looks insanely high. His face is hilarious.

BRIANYou asshole! You made me miss outon the opportunity to smoke withRennolds!

DAVED(calmly stoned)

Eyy mann...violence never solvedanything!

BRIANWhat! Why Im so mad I couldjust... I could just...

Brian looks at Daved then pulls a single blunt out ofDaveds mouth. Brian takes a huge puff of it, then exhalesit in Daveds face. Daved is in disbelief.

DAVEDYou... sick...bastard.

Just then a knock is heard outside the door.

STAGE LADYBe ready in 5 minute guys!

Daved and Brian immediately start to freak out.

BRIANShit! We gotta hide!

DAVEDQuick, hide the body!

Daved tosses the passed-out guys body to Brian. Briancatches it.

BRIANWhat? You hide the body!

Brian tosses it back to Daved.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 29.

DAVEDNOO. YOU hide the body. You killedhim!

Daved tosses it back to Brian.

BRIANWell YOURE the one who damagedhim!

Brian passes it back to Daved. Daved stops, then points hisfinger behind Brian.

DAVEDHey look, its Rennolds!

BRIANWhat? No it isnt.

DAVEDYa dude hes right there...with thefreakin...guitar and everything....

BRIANRennolds plays drums. Dickwad.

DAVEDOh... Really.

Daved throws the body at Brian, causing him to fall on thefloor. Daved wheels the barrow of weed into a nearby closet.

DAVEDSo long, square!

He closes the door behind him and locks it. Brian runs up tothe door and tries opening it.

BRIANNooo!! You incredibly selfish pieceof crap!

Smoke emerges out of the keyhole and forms a giant middlefinger. Just then we hear knocking on the front door again.

STAGE LADYIm coming in there in 1 minute!!

Brian panics then tosses the body behind a couch out ofsight. He looks around, there is nowhere tohide...except...he spots the purple platypus costume lyingon the floor. We see the lady open the door only to seeBrian now in full disguise wearing the Purple Platypuscostume.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 30.

STAGE LADYHurry, we need you on stage, now!

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)On...Stage!

Brians eyes turn to little hearts as he is dragged out ofthe room. Once they exit we see the passed out man behindthe couch start to regain consciousness.

EXT. STAGE. DAY

Brian (still in full disguise) gets shoved on stage by thewoman.

STAGE LADYAnd now here he is boys and girls,Purpyyy the Purple Platypus! Hereto perform for you some of hismagic!

The crowd cheers. Brian looks around then spots Rennolds onthe far side of the stage. He runs over to him

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Rennolds, oh my god, Im such ahuge fan youre my idol.

RENNOLDSHuh?

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)I just want to say, I have all youralbums and records. Your artisticvision has paved the way for me tofind my own music in the hopes thatsomeday it will be as good asyours.

RENNOLDSWow. Thanks man... That reallymeans a lot.

A nearby band member watches this, tears a little, thenpulls out a tissue.

BAND MEMBER(sniffs)

That was beautiful.

Soon after this happens the crowd begins to boo. Brian indistaste of the booing turns to the crowd.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 31.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Silence! Why are you all booingthis man! HE is a Genius!

Brian licks him

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)-and a tasty one too!

RENNOLDSAye mate, the crowd! Do your magicfor the crowd!

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)What? Fuck the crowd! They dontknow whats good.

silence. (beat)

Just then the crowd boos even harder as a yucky feeling runsthrough the crowd.

Brian looks out into the crowd at all the disappointedchildren, then turns back at Rennolds.

RENNOLDSHow could you say that mate? Thesekids look up to you. Youre theirhero.

Just then Brian feels like poop. He looks out into thecrowd. They are still booing, but this time angry. The kidsyell things at Brian.

RANDOM KIDI knew the purple platypus werentreal artists!

RICH BOYSell outs! Boooo!!!

They start throwing random things at the purple platypus.

RANDOM KIDMagic isnt real! Its fake! Justlike the Purple Platypus!

Brian hears this and gets angry.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)NOBODY CALLS THE PURPLE PLATYPUSFAKE!!! ALRIGHT...THAT DOES IT. YOUKIDS WANT MAGIC! ILL SHOW YOUFUCKING MAGIC!!!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 32.

Brian grabs a guitar then starts humping it furiouslyon stage.

The crowd has stopped booing and now has grown completelysilent. They all stare blankly. A single mother covers theeyes of her young children.

Brian continues humping his guitar, then places it in frontof him on the stage. Brian gets on his knees. He leans over,kisses the guitar, then pulls out his pack of matches. Hethrows a lit match onto the guitar and it catches flame.

The kids all stare bewildered.

Brian waves the smoke up in the air summoning the spirits ofmusic like Hendrix once did.

The crowd stares at Brian then turns back to Rennolds asthis happens.

Rennolds looks down, pulls out a lit match, then lights hisdrums on fire! Soon the rest of the band joins in and theyall light there instruments on fire!

Rennolds leads the band into drumming the song "Purple Haze"by Hendrix. The whole band joins in.The children erupt cheering. As they play Fire shoots out ofthe instruments and all around the stage. It is epic. Brianpicks up the fiery guitar and begins playing it. He leans inon the mic and begins singing. his voice echos.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Purple haze all in my brain! Latelythings just dont seem the same!Actin funny, but I dont know why!Scuse me while I kiss the sky

Fire shoots everywhere, then from Brians guitar shoots amagical rainbow thing that flies over the children turningthem all into giant dancing flowers. Everything now isgroovin to the music as it was when we first saw the PurplePlatypus. The trees are stoned once again, the grassbounces back and forth, and the sun is smoking a j. Thewhole show gets trippy. Everything is bouncing to the music.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Purple haze all around! Dont knowif Im comin up or down! Am Ihappy or in misery? Whatever it is,that platypus put a spell on me!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 33.

From the corner of the crowd we see security wearingearmuffs escorting Daved off the premises. The beat up manis there, also wearing earmuffs, and points to Brian.Security goes after him. Daved spots Brian and gives him therock on sign! Brian rocks out one last time.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Purple haze all in my eyes! Dontknow if its day or night! Youvegot me blowin, blowin my mind! Isit tomorrow or just the end oftime?

The guards arrive at the stage. Brian looks out into thecrowd. The crowd is cheering "Purp! Purp! Purp!". This makesDaved chuckle.

Brian leaps into the crowd escaping the guards. The crowdcatchs him. carries him towards the back of the crowd.

As this happens Brian looks back and gives the rock on signto Rennolds. Rennolds tosses a flaming drumstick over thecrowd to Brian and he catches it.

Brian takes one more last looks back at Rennolds and blows akiss in the air. We see the kiss float in the air.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)(in a girly voice)

Byee Rennoldsss!!!

Rennolds waves curiously, then goes back to playing. Briancontinues to be pulled to the back and is dropped off at theentrance gate. Daved is standing outside waiting for him.Brian gets tossed next to Daved and he brushes himself off.

DAVEDWow man. That was awesome! AndRennolds too, that guy is sick!

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Yeah...

Just then Brian spots the fat kid from earlier sobbing alonein the corner. The Fat kid is in the fetal position with hishead tucked between his legs. Brian looks at the drum stickin hand then walks over to him.

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Here ya go kid.

Brian hands the fat kid the drumstick.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 34.

FAT KIDWow. Really? The Purple Platypusflaming drumstick! Thanks Mr.Platypus! This really means a lotto me. I have all your albums andmovies!

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)Dont watch the movies... theyreterrible. Just always remember, themusic...is in here.

The Platypus points to the kids heart. As he does this thekid turns into a giant flower. It is extremely corny andgay.

Brian turns around and walks away. Brian and Daved exittogether.

DAVEDWow that was really gay. Giving upRennolds drumstick? Im proud ofyou Brian.

BRIANYa. What can I say? I guess we alllearned something today. Even you!

DAVEDWhat who, me?

Daved pulls up his two dirty smelly socks which he hasjam-packed full of weed. The socks are dirty and the smelloverrides the weed smell.

DAVEDI got enough bud here to last mefor weeks!

Brian shrugs his shoulders then they walk off into thesunset.

DAVEDHey I know, why dont we blaze whenwe get back and listen to thePurple Platypus? Ill smoke you upmy treat.

BRIAN(hesitantly)

Ehhhhhhhh..........why dont wegive something else a try...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 35.

DAVEDAw, cmon!

The boys walk off together as the camera zooms out to anover-the-shoulder shot of the orangutan monkey. We see themonkey sitting up on a tree branch watching them walk off inthe distance. Just then the rooster (with the briefcase)from earlier flies over and lands on the same branch next tothe monkey.

ROOSTERYou think they suspect anything?

MONKEYNot a thing.

END