FACILITATOR: MS. EUREKA DALTON

You Can Write!

Pre-writing Using Text Evidence

• Know your topic: You can’t write well on a topic if you don’t have any background knowledge about it.

• Before you begin writing:– Gather sources and info (if applicable)– Read about your topic (prompt)

Let’s Get Organized with RAFT!• Step 1: Read the prompt. Underline verbs

that help you identify exactly what you are supposed to write about and the purpose of the essay. Highlight this info.

• Role: Who are you as the writer? A movie star? The President? A plant?

• Audience: To whom are you writing? A senator? Yourself? A company?

• Format: In what format are you writing? A diary entry? A newspaper? A love letter?

• Topic: What are you writing about?

Brainstorming

• After you decide on a topic or after you are given a topic, brainstorm for reasons/points to support or illuminate the topic

• Use a circle map to brainstorm

Put your reasons for your main idea in the outer circle

Put Main Idea in the Center

Choosing points

• Decide on the three best reasons/points that support your main idea the best.

• Make sure your points are varied/different from one another so that they don’t overlap causing redundancy (repeating) in the composition

• Circle the points you want on your circle map.

Choosing points

• Decide on the three best points and put them in order of importance, from least important to most important, on a flow map.

Least Greatest

ABC’s of an Opening Paragraph

Needed parts:1. Attention getter2. Bridge 3. Composition topic (Thesis statement)

• Refer to p. 3 in writing folder• Follow instructions for writing an opening

paragraph

A=Attention getter• The purpose A. effectively focus/hook the audience’s attention in the direction of the thesis to come B. lead the audience down the track of thought to the composition’s thesis

Competition Essay

• Example: Imagine a world devoid of the thrill of victory: No cheering when one makes it to the finished line, no thunderous applause and medals at the Olympics when the athlete does the amazing and receives the inner triumph of a dream fulfilled. Moreover, there really would be no need for terms like “the best,” because competition usually identifies who is the best. DO NOT USE MY EXAMPLE. IT IS PLAIGIARISM AND WILL RESULT IN FAILURE.

Attention getters1. Ask a

provocative/thought-provoking/challenging question

2. Make a bold/shocking statement3. Provide a statistic or fact4. Tell a short story (anecdote-3 to 5 sentences)5. Quote6. Define a term7. Verbal picture8. Humor 9. Mystery

B=Bridge

• The bridge purpose:A. BRIDGE from the attention getter to the composition’s thesis. B. transitional sentence or a lead sentence. To simplify, a bridge smoothly moves the essay from the hook to the punchline.

Bridge for Competition

• Example: The idea of being the best has motivated great human and personal triumphs some of which have had a global impact on the world. Specifically, the competition between Apple and Samsung has led to major technological advances that have made life easier.

Opening Paragraph OrganizationAttention getting sentence. Main idea sentence. Thesis statement. Example:Splish splash went the soothing, cool water as I dove in the shimmering, emerald blue pool on summer’s day. I adore swimming, so I do it every chance I get. It is the main reason I look forward to the summer. Swimming is my favorite pastime because it is relaxing, it exercises the body, and it is challenging.

Opening Continued: Example 2

• Ready to experience Southern hospitality at its best? Atlanta exemplified what the South is known for: being welcoming. Not only were the warm and inviting, but also there was plenty to experience. As a result, it has become my favorite vacation spot because of the Coca Cola Company, Martin Luther King’s museum, and the underground mall.

Coherence and Organization Check• Red pen needed (Or whatever is your

preferred color)• Students switch papers (if you desire)1. Do I/ does my classmate have an attention

getter?2. Does the bridge transition smoothly into the

thesis statement?3. Is there missing information?4. Does it seem boring? Grammatically poor?

Too much (diarrhea of the mouth)

Composition Thesis/Topic• last component• most vital part of an introduction• point of the essay or the purpose of the

writing. • Consequently, if one has no thesis, there’s no

formal essay. • For standardized testing and academic essays,

the general topic is supplied to the writer. • Writer decides what specifically about the

assigned topic will be discussed in the essay.

Composing a Thesis

• To write the thesis statement, one simply has to connect the topic in the center of the circle to the points in the boxes beneath the circle.

• Example: Competition is a positive aspect in schools because it fosters ingenuity, it builds character, and it improves social skills.

Now you have an introduction!Imagine a world devoid of the thrill of victory: No cheering when one makes it to the finished line, no thunderous applause and medals at the Olympics when the athlete does the amazing and receives the inner triumph of a dream fulfilled. Moreover, there really would be no need for terms like “the best,” because competition usually identifies who is the best. The idea of being the best has motivated great human and personal triumphs some of which have had a global impact on the world. Specifically, the competition between Apple and Samsung has led to major technological advances that have made life easier. Competition is a positive aspect in schools because it fosters ingenuity, it builds character, and it improves social skills.

Coherence and Organization Check• Red pen needed (Or whatever is your

preferred color)• Students switch papers (if you desire)1. Do I/ does my classmate have an main idea

or claim?2. Is my/her/his main idea clear?3. Do I/ does my classmate have supporting

points for the main idea/claim? Are they appropriate?

4. Is there missing information?

After the Intro, It’s Time for Elaboration!

PEEEE ON IT!POINT (REASON/CLAIM)EXPLAIN-PERSONAL DEFINITIONEXAMPLE-PERSONAL STORY/TEXT INFORMATIONEXPLAIN-SHOW HOW THE EXAMPLE PROVES YOUR POINT (RELEVANCE)END/EXIT - SUMMARIZE YOUR POINT: CLOSING SENTENCE/BOWTIE/CLINCHER

Points=Topic sentences:• A topic sentence tells the reader what a

specific paragraph will be discussing• You have already written the topic sentence

for each paragraph when you wrote the thesis statement #winning

• A topic sentence should be preceded by a transition or a transition

can be embedded

Examples of topic sentence

• Reading is my favorite hobby because it is inexpensive, I can choose the topic, I can do it at my own pace.

1. To begin, reading is my favorite hobby because it is inexpensive.

More example of topic sentences

• Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at the underground mall.

1st paragraph topic sentence(transition), Atlanta is my favorite vacation

spot because I visited the Coca Cola Company.

Example of topic sentences• Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because

I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at the underground mall.

2nd paragraph topic sentence(transition), Atlanta is my favorite vacation

spot because I had an opportunity to tour Martin Luther King’s museum.

Example of topic sentences• Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because

I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at the underground mall.

3rd paragraph topic sentence(transition), Atlanta is my favorite vacation

spot because of the underground mall.

Explanation & Examples

• This is the most time consuming step• Explanation must always be followed by the

example (stories or text evidence)• The reader should have a clear idea of what

you mean after this step• It supports your point/reason from the topic

sentence

Explanation: To give details, clarify, add meaning

• To explain means to give specific details for something to make it clear to the reader what you are attempting to say.

• It is helpful to use transitions like:By this I mean, to explain, this means that (complete set of suggestions on your sheet &

on back wall)

Explanation

Example

Explanation Explanation

Example Example

PEEEE on It: Explain

_____________ ______________ _______________ _____________ ______________ _______________ _____________ ______________ _______________

1. 2. 3.

Insert transitions to make the writing smooth and strengthen order.

Explain: Provide your own personal definition of OR POV about the topic.

PEEEE on It: Example

Example: Provide a story/ illustration to support the explanation. I f text is provided, place text info/quote here; it is helpful to put paragraph/ line # & the page #.

_____________ ______________ _______________ _____________ ______________ _______________ _____________ ______________ _______________

PEEEE on It: Exemplify

Exemplify: How does the example show how the explanation is accurate, plausible, or logical. DO NOT BE REDUNDANT- REPEAT I NFO IN THE EXPLANATI ON OR EXAMPLE.

_____________ ______________ _______________ _____________ ______________ _______________ _____________ ______________ _______________

PEEEE on It: Exit

• The last “E” in PEEEE cannot be done until the writer actually writes the body paragraphs.

• WHY? The writer has to read what he has written to summarize it.

You need three sheets of loose leaf

• Topic sentence= Transition +Topic sentenceSkip two lines• Explanation= Transition + personal

definition/clarifySkip four lines• Example= Transition + Story and/or evidence

After the Intro, develop Elaboration

• This is when you provide an explanation and examples to support (back up) your reasons.

(1)Transition, topic sentence reason from thesis.THEN PEEEE (2)Explanation sentence. (3)Example sentence(s).

(4)Explanation sentence. (5) EXIT/ENDING sentence.

Should have at least 6 sentences in this order!

Explanation

• Explanation is your own personal definition/meaning your topic sentence.

• The text can be used as an explanation of your topic sentence.

• Generally, the text should be used to explain what you mean by the topic sentence and include your own personal twist.

Example Body Paragraph Including an Explanation Sentence:

To begin, Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company. We toured different rooms that depicted different times in the history of the Coca Cola Company.

Notice, I made it clear what I mean by “toured.” I provided my own personal meaning for it.

Examples

• Examples should be specific illustrations (story) of what you have said in your topic sentence and explanation.

• Examples can be to discuss: Text example (TEXT MUST PROVE YOUR POINT)Your personal experience with the topicOther’s personal experience with the topic experience with the topicA hypothetical (imaginary) personal experience with the topic

Example Body Paragraph Including an Example Sentence:

To begin, Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company. I toured different rooms that depicted different times in the history of the Coca Cola Company. For example, while visiting a room that looked like a long ago drugstore, I was shown how the cola was mixed by the pharmacist. It was entertaining to watch the pharmacist mix up the coke like a scientist in a laboratory.

Transitions: Smooth Operator!• Insert transitions at the beginning of each

paragraph to make your move from one topic to the next smoothly.• Insert transitions in the actual paragraphs

(before explanations and examples) to continue the smooth flow of information.• You should have several varied (different)

transitions.

Let’s Close the Case!

Closing Paragraph

• The closing paragraph must have a minimum of (3) sentences:

1. Paraphrase the main idea sentence from the opening paragraph

2. Paraphrase the POINTS/thesis statement/3 points) from the opening paragraph

3. Closing statement: most important idea, thought, or feeling to leave the reader with. (Can be more than one sentence)

Closing Paragraph

• To write a high-quality closing paragraph, your have to look at the opening paragraph (MIRROR STRATEGY)

• Remember a closing paragraph is a summary of the major points of your essay. These major points are included in the opening for a reference and should’ve been what the body paragraphs discussed

Opening Continued: Example 2

• Are you ready to experience Southern hospitality at its best? Well I did during my vacation to Atlanta. The people were friendly and my family never ran out of things to do. Specifically, It is my favorite vacation spot because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at the underground mall.

Closing Paragraph

• To summarize, visiting Atlanta was just a dream come true. The Coca Cola Company presented me with many milestones in Coke’s history. I will never forget how connected I felt to Black history at the MLK museum, and the underground mall was a bizarre treat. Atlanta is the place to go if someone wants none ending exploration.

Rough Draft

• Copy the information from your maps into five paragraphs:

1. Indent: Introductory paragraph2. Indent: 1st point body paragraph3. Indent: 2nd point body paragraph4. Indent: 3rd point body paragraph5. Indent: Closing paragraph

END/EXIT SENTENCEBowtie & Clincher Sentence

• Each body paragraph needs an EXIT. This is the last sentence in each body paragraph. So you should have three: one for each body paragraph!

• It is a summary of the main topic discussed in the paragraph.

• (1)Transition, topic sentence including POINT from thesis. (2)Explanation sentence (define). (3)Example sentences (story) . (4) Explanation sentence (example relevance) (5)Exit sentence.

Example of closing sentence for positive influence essay: Para 1

• To begin, April is a positive influence because she is supportive. In other words, April gives great advice that helps me get out of sticky situations. For instance, I lost my mom’s wedding ring one summer. I was panicked. I called April and she instantly came rushing over to rescue me. After helping me retrace my steps, we found the ring nestled among some clothes in the laundry basket. April has really gotten me out of some tough spots.

2nd paragraph

• In addition to April being supportive, she is also a positive influence because she is creative. To clarify, she believes every problem has a solution. One just has to try and find it. Notably, I wanted to join the military when I got out of school, but could not lose the 20 pounds to meet the weight requirement. April had me tape a picture of my chubby self and a picture of the army emblem on the fridge. Every time I wanted to snack, I saw my goal. I lost the weight and was so excited. I can always plan on April to have a plan of action.

3rd paragraph

• Most importantly, April is a positive influence because she is motivated. April never gives up on her dreams. She finds a way to make them a reality. For example, April became pregnant while in college, but she did not let that stop her from graduating the next semester in Accounting. April always meets her goal no matter the obstacles.

Example Body Paragraph Including an Closing Sentence:

To begin, Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company. We toured different rooms that depicted different times in the history of the Coca Cola Company. For example, We visited a room that looked like a long ago drugstore and was shown how the cola was mixed by the pharmacist. Visiting the plant was a highlight of my trip.

Tips for Drafting• For the first draft, only focus on getting your

ideas on paper in a logical order. • Put a question mark over the word and in the

margin if you can’t remember how to spell a word.

Tips for Drafting

• Once you finish, 1. Go back and look for outlawed words. 2. Replace them would better (descriptive)

words. 3. Use more examples or strengthen examples

(add more detail).4. Use transitions to glue your ideas together.

Pair Goals

1. Orally rehearse- read your essay to your partner; if you notice errors, stop & edit p 9

2. Use as guide for how to correctly use editing marks as you all orally rehearse.

Revising P 21: THERE SHOULD BE NO COLORS, 3-5, IN THE INTRO OR CLOSING!

1. outlawed words- Highlight in ANY COLOR (OL)2. IN RED INK, CROSS OUT repeated words and attempt to replace

with other words.3. Underline explanation with a red pen. If missing write “NO

EXPLANATION in RED in the margin”.4. Underline examples with green. “NO EXAMPLE in GREEN in the

margin”.5. Underline other/extra elaboration & CLOSING SENTENCES with

blue. If missing write NO CLOSE6. Circle transitions with orange. They should have at least 7!7. Circle with red pen & write (AWK) over Awkwardly written

sentence.8. Circle words in purple that are used wrong in write (WC) over them.

MRS. DALTON’S EDITING CHECKLIST (PEER EDIT) USING A RED PEN/MARKER/COLORED PENCIL• Use proofreading marks to find1. Agreement problems- sub/verb, pronoun, ant2. Tense problems- past tense, present tense, etc3. Grammar problems- using a noun where an adjective

should be4. Punctuation problems5. Spelling errors6. Word choice errors (wc)- homophones, homonyms,

term does not fit the meaning of the sentence 7. Revise as necessary (editing may cause you to have to

rewrite a total sentence for coherence)PLEASE USE THE PROOFREADING MARKS ON P. 9 & 10

FINAL DRAFTS DUE Wednesday, 11/18/2013

• Please get writing folder from shelf. • RETURN TO PAIRS FROM YESTERDAY.• Make sure your name & your partner’s name is on your

proofreading list. • RESUME PEER EDITING.• ONCE, PEER EDITING COMPLETED,1. HANDWRITERS CAN BEGIN TO WRITE FINAL DRAFT.2. TYPERS CAN BEGIN A READING LOG OR BEGIN A NEAT

FINAL DRAFT TO TYPE.

Publish p. 12

• Publish using Microsoft Word or handwrite

• MLA Format (if typed)• Use spell check (if typed)• Read essay carefully to find any typos or

convention problems

If typing, follow the following rules, p. 12:

• Heading (top left):NameEnglish 8- 1/2, 4/5 or 6/7 Ms. DaltonOct. 10, 2012

(Place Title Here Centered)• Use Times New Roman• Use 12 point font & 1’’ margins• Double space• No pictures, color ink, frilly junk, etc.

Congratulations!• You have just completed:• Well-structured• Well -elaborated• LEAP-passing ESSAY!

GRADING SCALE FOR EXPOSITORY ESSAYS (This is the scale for a WFTF rubric)

• A= 20-18• B= 17-15• C= 14-12• D= 11-9• F= 8 OR BELOW

Please put items in the following order :

1. Rubric (put # in the top right corner)2. Final draft (2x test grade)3. Rough draft (color-coded) (TSA)4. Mrs. Dalton’s Editing Checklist 5. Mrs. Dalton’s Revising Checklist (Test)6. Mapping packet (Test)7. Other mapping (TOPIC SENT PACKET- STAPLED ON

LOOSE LEAF) = 5 grades8. Staple in the above order & pass it to the front