You are not alone!Knowing Resources and

Building Supports

Ed DunkelblauOctober 2012

Purpose of a Pre Deployment Plan• Reduce Stress!!• Helps us maintain focus• Makes the transition easier• Develop new routines• Help the children through the change

Peace of Mind!!!!!

Family Resilience (Diane Milne)

• Adaptability—being able to cope with different types of stress

• Appreciation—doing positive things for one another

• Clear roles—understanding roles and responsibilities in the family and being flexible

• Commitment—recognizing each other’s worth and being committed to the family system

• Communication—being open and honest with each other and willing to listen to the views of others, being able to manage conflict in a positive way

• Community ties—being involved and connected to the community

When your struggling…. Take a “P”

PeopleProblem solvingPositivity

People

• Reach out to trusted friends• Look to family• Keep in touch

Get to know your friends

Find Family

Problem Solving

Things will go wrong

Asking for help

• Often seen as weakness• Hard to reach out• Afraid there will be no help• Fear judgment or embarrassment

Sometimes its necessary to get some support

Coast Guard Employee Assistance Program

: 1-800-222-0364

WorkLife4You Resource and Referral Service

: 1-800-222-0364

Communications• Technology Deployment

Communications Plan– Is the computer ready (WebCam,

programs etc…)?– Unit Communications (Phone Tree, News

Letters, Face Book, etc…)• Method and schedule:

– Time difference– Schedule for the SM, family and children– Who, when and frequency– Duration

Support Systems• Who will fix the house, cars,

appliances, yard work and the rest?• Who will give me a break (baby

sitting etc…)?• Who do I turn to?

– Emotional support (Friend, family, church, etc)

– Where do I get moral support?– Professional?

• What family supports are available?

How You Say Good Bye• What is the plan?

– When and how will we say good bye to?• Co workers• Faith community• Neighbors• Friends• Close friends• Family• Spouse and children

Other Considerations• Physical:

– When can I workout, walk, run, whatever• Disciplining of the children• Tricare, are we signed up and who are our

providers• What about the Kids?• Who supports me? (Parents and Designated

Representatives)• What about the Ex?• Have you informed your Employer (ESGR)?

Coping• How am I going to handle stress?

• What do I do to take care of me?

Secrets of Success

• Passion• Work hard• Be good at it• Focus• Serve something of value• Persistence• Choose your attitude - …….Positivity

Positivity

Being Positive• Improve our ability to handle difficulties

• Improve performance• Improve decision making• Keep us healthier

Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. General Colin Powell

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The

optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist the parachute.

George Bernard Shaw

Maintaining positivity• Recognize that attitude is a choice

• Find positive colleagues• Preserve a positive memory and go to it when necessary

• Focus on humor

Negativity• More likely to fail• Leads to or maintains depression• Harder to see alternatives• Bad for your health• Sucks energy from others and self

What Causes Negativity

•Criticism

•Rejection

•A**holes

•Pressure

USCG Spouse Handbook

• http://www.uscg.mil/worklife/docs/pdf/spousehandbook.pdf

USCG Employee Assistance

• http://www.uscg.mil/worklife/employee_assistance.asp

Coast Guard Employee Assistance Program

: 1-800-222-0364 WorkLife4You Resource and Referral Service

: 1-800-222-0364

Discuss• One way that you remain positive in the face of adversity.

Family Systems Explained