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COMEDY TRUE sTORiEs MUsiC TRAVEL GADGETs & GiMMiCksFOOD

BRiTish COMEDY AwARD winnERsCARDinAL BURns

issUE

no 9A magazine for the Now Generation

ReGulARs

23 Gimmicks

36 Travel32 Food

26 Art explorer

06 Gadgets12 Aisling Bea

28 Music30 Retronaut

14 WUWO likes

FeATuRes

08 The end Of The World ... Again David Hathaway of NASA speaks to WUWO on the truth behind the world ending.

10 How To Blag Being A Beer expert Give booze braggarts a taste of their own medicine with

some pale ale power.

16 Cardinal Burns Taking a break from writing their recently

commissioned second series, Dustin Demri-Burns and Seb Cardinal talk to WUWO about filming, fake vomit and the highlights and low points of live comedy.

24 Love on the London Underground

James Preece teaches WUWO about the delicate art of finding potential love in an underground train carriage.

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If you’re new to WUWO Magazine, we would like to welcome you to our monthly cycle of print stories.We are in existence to add a different flavour to the current magazine cycle with hand picked editorial on travel, comedy, true stories, the internet and much more. We are not a review or listing magazine – our sole purpose is to provide you with a quality and interesting read.

If you like what you see, visit us online for a broader range of content and leave your comments and feel free to contact us via www.wuwomagazine.com.

Editor in Chief Steven Godwin

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Curiosity Killed the Cat

Hand picked curious happenings, venues, clubs and shops from across London and beyond.

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Chin Chin labs

The next time you’re in Camden and craving a treat of sorts but unsure where to go, then get down to Chin Chin Labs for some out-there ice cream action. The staff are clad in white lab coats and use liquid nitrogen to create weird and wonderful ice creams and sorbet. Plumes of nitrogen erupt from curious, futuristic machines and if the dramatic service fails to capture your attention then the diversity of the menu is sure to. Avoiding the usual suspects, Chin Chin have a constantly changing line-up of bizarre and curious flavours such as barbecued pineapple sorbet, waffles and beer or scones and cream tea - to name but a few. Even the toppings get a bit peculiar – sprinkles of green tea peanut brittle? Interesting.

49-50 Camden lock Place, NW1 8AF 07885 604 284 www.chinchinlabs.com

Bounce Europe’s first ‘social ping pong club’ has opened down the road from Chancery Lane tube station. Ping Pong has been going through a revival around the world and has now officially arrived in London. Swing by Bounce for a game in stylish surroundings designed by award winning Russell Sage. If you’re not a fan, then hang out at the bar, listen to music or treat yourself to a meal. The restaurant is equipped with an authentic wood-burning stove for high quality pizzas. The venue even resides in the exact location where the sport was invented in 1901. If you’re looking for something different to do, then why not join the ping-pong revolution?

121 Holborn eC1N 2TD020 3657 6525www.bouncelondon.com

shape in the City

Pop-up culture is at its peak of popularity at the moment, with art galleries, restaurants, and cafés all joining in. Right in the heart of the City of

London, nestled deep within the chaos and commotion of urban life, Shape Arts have taken over five floors of a contemporary office building and dedicated the space to an exclusive art exhibition. With work by over 30 plus leading UK artists, this ambitious project runs until Spring 2013. It offers a chance to engage in high-art, including sculptures, film installations, prints and performances – in an alternative environment.SWhy not experience some world-class art on your lunch break? The gallery is open to the public from Monday to Thursday, 10:00 to 14:00 – at any other time by appointment only.

40 Gracechurch street london eC3V 0BT 020 7621 0900 or 07849 281 054 www.shapearts.org.uk

Vertical ChillIf you want to really push the boat out and get involved in some alternate activities, then head over to Covent Garden for some ice climbing. Ice climbing involves, well, climbing up ice. None of that clinging onto multi-coloured handholds in slipper-like shoes – trade these in for a pair of ice picks, boots adorned with spiked, sharp grips and get into badass mountain climber mode! Don’t worry about lacking experience – professional climbers guide and look out for novices and all equipment is included in the price. No fear of heights or of looking totally cool? Then try it out. The ice-wall is eight metres high and provides enough variation to satisfy everyone from beginner to pro.

3-11 southampton st, Covent Garden, london, WC2e 7HA 0207 395 1010 www.vertical-chill.com

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By Jack Courtez

solar Power It up

DIY Guitar PicksBeing a guitarist is an expensive hobby for the absent-minded. Buy ten plectrums one day and by next week you’ll be spinning around in circles, scratching your head and hunting down the back of the sofa for the last one.

The Pickmaster Plectrum will end all this misery by enabling you to punch out your own picks from any bit of plastic that might be floating around the vicinity. The principle is not far off a glorified yet practical hole puncher.

Sturdy in design and innovative in application, this device is sure to save you money – although perhaps not the bank cards and other plectrum potential plastics lurking about your home or workplace.

Reviews average a 90% approval rate from users, but some buyers suggest filing the edges for smoothness.

Get strumming for £14.99 www.iwantoneofthose.com

Fairground Candy GrabberAvenge your arcade losses with this candy grab-a-crane. Insert one of the included plastic coins and attempt to snatch up a sweet within the given time limit.

To further rekindle those memories of sticky-floored gaming emporiums, simply activate the optional fairground music and hone your skills.

With every day access to this item and endless practise, the next time the carnival comes to town you will win the giant stuffed panda - previously lying only a fraction beyond your mechanical reach.

For the more cruel reader amongst you, slyly deposit your partner/housemate’s phone, keys and wallet in the grapple chamber, then sit back, snigger and observe the frenzy as they manically mash the levers at 8:53 am.

Invest in all this entertainment for a reasonable £24.95 www.geniegadgets.com

The SolarPod Buddy charges any small electric device - providing it is equipped with a USB port – via a pocket-sized solar panel. This product is ideal for camping, festivals, train or bus journeys and cancels out adaptor issues when

adventuring in foreign lands.It’s sold with six of the most common phone tips (including i-Phone and Blackberry), although your own USB leads would work too. Impressively portable, the whole unit weighs less than 100grams and size-wise it could even fit in your pocket.

The built-in battery enables night use and a back-up power supply in case of emergency. One drawback could be the need for 13 to 16 hour full-charge time in direct sunlight – a potential issue in cloudy ol’ Blighty. Still, a functional invention that makes one wonder that the film Cast Away would’ve been a lot shorter had Tom Hanks invested in one of these prior to crash landing on a desert island.

Jack-in and power-up for £24.99 www.power-on-demand.co.uk

spoon WarfareTurn every dinner into a western showdown and every breakfast into beanological warfare with the Zing! Food-Launcher Spoon.

With handle and spoon connected by a spring, this product is perfectly designed to launch salvoes of sweetcorn at meal times, or indeed, at any time. Downside is that it’s a bit tricky to clean. This appears not to bother one happy customer who stated, “We went to a restaurant and let sugar packets fly when no one was looking. The staff thought it was hilarious and brought me a ketchup packet to fling.”

WUWO Magazine does not condone assaulting strangers with table condiments, no matter how seat spoilingly funny it is. Unclear on how useful this device is for actually eating, it appears better suited to tackle mash potato than a steak.

Don’t play with your food - flick it at friends, family and strangers instead for £9.99. www.kaboodle.com

Tableware & self-defence

Ever wanted to combine table seasonings with a fear of home invasion? If so this baseball bat/pepper mill might just earn a place on your table/under your pillow.

This kitchen accessory is the same size as an actual baseball bat. The product description claims the mill will be, “Bigger than your average small child.” However, it’s unclear whether this is a promotion of corporal punishment or a serving suggestion. The size has the added advantage of storing a lot of pepper and makes it difficult to misplace. The beech is from sustainable sources in Denmark, turned and finished in England, and the steel grinding mechanism comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Great for outdoor cooking, dinner parties or – hopefully not – self-defence, this £19 pepper mill will not strike out after a few sessions at the plate(s). www.coleandmason

Wok like a Manchurian

Stir-fries are quick, cheap and easy to make, although the satisfaction of a belly full of noodles ends quickly when it is time to clean up. Semi-burnt bean sprouts stuck to the hob is seen as an arduous by-product for those who like to cook with style. Introducing the Boomerang Wok! Allowing you to confidently flip those contents without the mess.

The raised, cupped edge at the back of the pan allows you to show off all those fancy flicks – as seen executed by professional chefs – without showering yourself and your kitchen in oil, vegetables and noodles.For the more relaxed host or the less enthusiastic chef, the pan’s design also allows ingredients to be turned just as efficiently using a spatula.

The wok is Teflon coated, oven-proof to 160 degrees, dishwasher proof and will cost you £83.99. www.lazyboneuk.com

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We survived the wide array of 2012 apocalyptic catastrophes and now there's a solar flare that, apparently, will cause a geomagnetic storm worth 20 hurricane Katrina's to look forward to. WUWO speaks to NASA for some clarification on the matter.

Two years ago the media began reporting that NASA predicted solar flares in 2013 – pockets of energy in the sun’s magnetic field released towards the earth. The papers referred to the largest recorded 'space storm' in history, the 1859 Carrington Event. This solar storm caused pylons to erupt, telegraph paper to spontaneously combust, some telegraphic machinery to work despite being switched off and aurora borealis (northern lights) to be seen as far south as Florida.

If the same thing happened today, there would be mass electrical devastation costing $1trillion in the first day and a decade of cleaning up. No date has been set, but solar flares are said to occur this year.However, it’s just a case of media hype drawn from confused facts. David Hathaway of NASA spoke to WUWO:

The end Of The World... Again

2000

2003

2006

2008

2011

2011

5,000,000,000

10XXX

The antichrist will rise. Jesus will return. The world’s technology will be confused by the ‘00’ in 2000 - prevention methods cost the US alone around $405 billion (in 2013 US dollars). Nothing happened, which meant they did a great job or there wasn’t a problem to begin with. There was also the case of the Cassini space probe, filled with radioactive material, supposedly crashing to earth.

Planet X/Niburu will pop out from behind the Sun and pass by Earth. When this didn’t happen, Nancy Lieder - who was told about this by aliens via a brain transplant - moved the date to 2012.

Yisrayl Hawkins, a Texan pastor, casually mentions in his parish newsletter that nuclear war will begin September 26, leading to the apocalypse.

The Hadron Collider is due to turn on, and people fear lots of micro black holes will subsequently appear and suck earth into oblivion.

Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping uses numerology to calculate the end of the world. He declares 21 May as doomsday and advertises this on huge billboards but nothing happens - he re-attempts the ad campaign in October.

Ronald Weinland believes Jesus will return and that The Second Trumpet of Revelation would be sounded by nuclear warheads exploding.

When scientists believe the world will actually end:

When the sun will start to swell, either swallowing earth or burning it to death. It may become too hot to inhabit Earth in as little as a billion years.

The suggested end point of the universe.

“There’s been confusion in the papers between a document released, detailing what would happen in the event of another Carrington Event, and what’s actually predicted.”

Yes, the sun is entering a new cycle – something scaremongerers have latched onto – but this doesn’t mean the end of the world, “Current predictions strongly indicate that this cycle will be the smallest in about 100 years – and less likely to produce a large damaging flare.”

It all smacks off last year’s 'end of the Mayan calendar' scare, propagated by those who didn’t realise the Mayans refer to events well after 21 December 2012 in their inscriptions. And let’s not get started on Planet X/Niburu hiding behind the Sun, OK?

It seems we are going to escape this one unscathed, but it’s nothing new. We’ve been avoiding stuff like this for years - just look at the 21st century alone:

FEATURE

By Stevie Martin

10 1110 11

By Craig Ballinger

How To Blag Being A Beer expert

Determine your favourite style - know it, love itStart with light or dark, and then move around the varieties. You’ll quickly find out if you like a wildly-hoppy IPA or deep, complex stout. Beer in a pub is like wine in a restaurant - you can probably get a taster if you ask for one. As well as discovering what you like, this strategy ensures a free drink and nothing tastes better than that.

Tired of being told your Foster’s smells like kanga-piss? Give booze braggarts a taste of their own medicine with some pale ale power.

Steer clear of big breweriesAvoid being caught out as having a terrible beer palate by saying, "Love a pint of Doom Bar," or "Greene King do some great brews." Not all big breweries make bad beer, it’s just that they make so much it’s impossible to keep the quality up. There are some exceptions of course - Newcastle Brown is a lovely drop and some Fuller’s brews are quite tasty.

Learn a little bit about hopsGood hops are the making of good beer. There are loads of different varieties from all over the world that shape the character and style of the drink. If you can learn which hops go in which beer and maybe where they’re from, you’re doing well, "Motueka hops are amazing, this Kiwi ale is great." If you have a great IPA, find out what hops were used, then go on about how much you "adore simcoe, gorgeous flavour."

win an hours session of complimentary ping pong, a bottle of wine and a sharing

board at Bounce for you and a friend.

simply drop us an email with PinG POnG in the title to: competition@wuwomagazine.com

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Nowadays, because we’re peer pressured into living until we’re ninety-two, because babies wear trousers and it’s illegal to marry until you’re eighteen, because the importance of religious and biological stages has dwindled - it’s very hard to know if you’ve become an adult. The Internet is no help. Adult websites give very little practical information, never mind instruction.

Going home for Christmas is a good Joe Soap annual yardstick by which to measure if you’ve gotten more adulter than you were the year before. This year, as we’ve done every 26th of December since underage drinking began, my friend Emma and I went to the local nightclub. As we stood on the dancefloor knocking out our classic 'strippers on a tired day' moves, we stopped and looked around us. The sight was sobering. Not literally, we were still hammered and dressed like teenagers. I’d been asked for ID, thank you very much. But now, in a Wonder Years 'and that’s when I realised' moment, we found that ye olde nightclub was ours no more.

We didn’t really know anyone there. We didn’t need to stay until the end of the night to “see what happened.” We weren’t drinking to impress the lads. We were drinking because we had financial and relationship issues that we were trying to forget. In fact, we would probably be drinking alone in the bath in the next few days anyways, so there was no need for tonight to be the be all and end all as it had always been. Had we had become ADULTS? Had I finally become a man (metaphorically)? This Christmas, when I looked around at what had at one point been my entire world, my neighbours houses seemed suddenly slightly skewed. The people, who were once the town beauties, now looked a bit Picasso’ed. My younger cousins had developed personalities of their own. The hedges seemed smaller… although in fairness, they may have been cut. It was like the background sky in The Truman Show had been painted the wrong shade and a few of the side characters and extras had been brilliantly recast. When I was ten, one year of my life was 1/10th of my entire existence. Now a year

is 1/28th and in twenty years, a year will be 1/48th of my life - yes Rainman, good counting, but what’s your point? Well, as life becomes longer, it speeds up and it’s minutiae become less minute. Memories are stretched over more time and some are pushed out. Sometimes I forget how to write with a pen. At 1/16th I went out with someone for two weeks. He broke up with me shamefully in the chippers in front of everyone and I filled an entire sketchpad with drawings of fire and dolphins crying, just to get over it. Nowadays that could no longer be classified as a significant adult relationship and I know that dolphins can’t physically cry, although they do feel sadness. It’s not nice growing up and becoming an adult. Not just because of pricier train fares and tougher convictions but it comes with responsibility and having to say thank you without being prompted to by someone taller than you. So, is there still anything concrete that we can judge becoming an adult by? Yes, my friends, there is:

Do You Have enough Clean Tea Towels?Three tea towels are not enough.Children have three tea towels in their tree houses when they are pretending to be dirty adults. You should have a drawer full of them. You should know how important they are, how dirty they get ON A DAILY BASIS, how much bacteria they harbour and how, if you get a woman home and you have only one wet tea towel in your house, it will reflect badly on the hygiene of your knob.

Even a GREAT PERSONALITY may not be able to make up for not having clean tea towels. If you are a woman and have no tea towels then SHAME on you for throwing the feminist baby out with the bath water. Some of the things were worth keeping, like domestic common sense. That glass ceiling isn’t going to clean itself.They don’t cost 48 pounds a pop lads. A three pack in Poundland is…a POUND. And you can afford to spend a few pounds on tea towels.You are, after all, an adult.

Back in the day, during the seventies, when people only lived until thirty-two, it was very easy to tell when one had become an adult.

A girl became a woman when she received her first monthly visitor and had to go and sit in a cave for a week with all the other women of the village. A boy became a man when he was allowed to wear long trousers and was given a key to the front door. A woman wasn’t allowed a key to the front door in case she became over emotional and did something silly, like eat the key.

Adult content

By Aisling Bea

follow Miss Bea

twitter.com/WeeMissBea

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TelevisionAlbum DVD Gaming TwitterWebsite By Ralph Jones

Hyde & Beast, Slow Down

Who puts credibility in an album recorded by two drummers? Not you? Well, in this case we advise you to give it a go or you will be missing out on some quality tune - age.Former drummers Dave Hyde (The Futureheads - yes, the band that did that Kate Bush cover) and Neil Bassett (The Golden Virgins) joined forces last year and released this fantastic album. The rough, jangling guitars and laid back vocals - alongside that distinct Sunderland accent - all come together to form an album that saunters along at an amiable pace. The playful simplicity of the album's progress will appeal to many and it's undoubtedly a band to keep track of. Without a doubt, a band to keep track of.

Top tracks: You will be lonely and Never Come Back

Haywire

Released on DVD earlier this year, this action, spy-thriller is directed by Steven Soderbergh (Out of Sight, Traffic and Ocean’s Eleven) and stars MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) superstar, Gina Carano.Prior to breaking into the film industry, Carano was one of the world’s top female fighters. This translates brilliantly from set to film and succeeds in delivering a credible edge to fight scenes. We doubt any of the cast’s bad guys (Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor and Channing Tatum) came out of a days shooting unscathed!The rest of the film has a stark, Bourne - ish vibe. Dodging obvious plots prevalent to standard action flicks, Haywire does not lose momentum or turn stale. Grab the popcorn and join Carano in beating up the boys.

Breaking Bad might just be the best show ever made. Still got to give it a whirl? Then sort it out and buy the box-set or borrow it off a mate. With its fifth season split into two parts - the first of which has recently finished - we now hover in anticipation to view the final episodes. Although painful for those of us who are up-to-date and suffering from full blown addiction to this series, this unruly delay gives you stragglers time to catch up. Then join us! On one of the most anticipated series finales ever.Still not convinced? Require evidence of it’s entertainment value? Then scan the long list of awards it gets nominated for each year.Seriously, we highly recommend giving it a go.

Breaking Bad

Gordon Ramsay’s List of CrazyThis foul-mouthed chef is infamous for continually firing abuse at the majority of those that cross his path. Even his daughters fail to escape his outbursts. He once remarked

that should they turn vegetarian, he would sit them on the fence and electrocute them.Visually graze more of his explosive antics online.

Interview with a former undercover copJames Bannon has been an actor, a stand-up comedian and even an estate agent - and in his early twenties, he was as an undercover police officer in a ring of football hooligans. His crazy tales were used as the

basis for the 1995 film I.D. Check out the full interview on our website.

The Pope joins Twitter

The pope recently joined this famous social networking website, presumably with the idea of preaching his beliefs around the world. However, one does struggle to get their head around the odds to be able to convert the cyber masses – in less than 140 characters – to God. This may pose a challenge, even for His Holiness.Up to now, he’s clocked up an approximate 600,000 followers –pretty impressive. Yes, not bad, but interestingly, his biggest religious Twitter-rival is none other than the Dalai Lama, who has well over 5,000,000 followers. Let the Twitter battle begin! With any luck, we’ll see the two have the philosophical equivalent of a rap showdown in Tweet form. Place your bets now!

www.saynoto0870.com

Let’s set the scene. You have to make a call to a company. First, you navigate their website for a while, then finally locate the number. Your heart sinks,the frustration kicks in. It begins with a zero and an eight. Fiends! This is going to cost more than anticipated. The odds are that you are only calling in the first place because they’ve messed up – which will probably ending up costing you too - and now they have the audacity to make you pay exorbitant phone rates?Not any more! Turns out that for most of these companies, there are alternative, terrestrial numbers that cost the standard price of calls to landlines and are almost half the price - and this website lists them for you.Fight the power!

Borderlands 2

Everyone loves to hype up a game before it’s released but it’s pretty rare that it meets expectations. This belter of a game is the exception and is set to be honoured as exactly that come the awards season.It’s received a lot of attention that leans towards its innovative, random weapon-generating system and excellent co-operative gameplay. On top of that, one of the main reasons to buy this game is the hilarious and engaging dialogue. The mastermind behind this is Anthony Burch, the co-creator of the awesome web series Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’? (HAWP).Refine your combat skills - the game casts a villain so despicable, you'll have a hard time not to finish the game - only to prolong the uncontrollable desire to continually shoot him in the head.

Blag It: Look busy in the office

Amusing yourself at the office with non-work-related pastimes can prove challenging.

The boss periodically sidles by, blatantly on the prowl to catch you browsing mildly amusing pussy-cat pictures. Meanwhile, your co-workers wear shifty looks – they’ve just dobbed you in – the swine!WUWO Online reveals tactics to Blag It at work.

Photo Diary: The Good Times Tattoo Parlour

Have the pangs to take the permanent plunge and get tattooed? Struggling to muster up the courage to do it?

Check out photo albums containing imagery of striking artwork and a photographic insight of the artists at work.Get online and inspired - browse our gallery for a taste of a session in The Chair.

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Cardinal Burns British Comedy Awards Winners: Best Sketch Show

From sell-out Edinburgh success in 2009 to last year’s award-winning E4 series, Cardinal Burns are pretty much on fire right now. In December they scooped a British Comedy Award, and their three nominations was a record for a first-time nominee. Taking a break from writing their recently commissioned second series, Dustin Demri-Burns and Seb Cardinal talk to WUWO about filming, fake vomit and the highlights and low points of live comedy. Why do you think you work so well as a duo? Dustin: It’s like a relationship - you have to work on it. If we’re bickering about something, we just iron it out on the spot. It’ll brew a little bit, build over months and then we just go, “Alright, come on now” and try not to let it get too far. seb: And you have to make it sexy sometimes. Dustin: Oh, yes. We’re also quite similar in many ways, and I think that’s part of what works. It’s not like one’s always this and one’s always that. seb: Agreements and disagreements are what shapes the sketches .

Do you often write together?Dustin: We tend to write together and then every few days go off by ourselves. seb: Sometimes it’s easier to improvise stuff, sometimes it’s easier to go away and write on a laptop. Dustin lives in Hoxton and I live in Walthamstow so we normally meet up East.

Do you guys get recognised when you’re out in london?Dustin: We sometimes get that thing where people kind of smile at you and nod like they know you a bit and then realise they don’t. seb: A friend of ours is too famous for the tube, so has to take taxis everywhere - but he’s not quite

making enough money to be able to afford taxis. That’s not a great place to be. We can definitely still take the tube!

let’s talk Cardinal Burns - what were your favourite characters to play in that first series? Dustin: I like Charlie the office flirt - he’s quite a physical character and it’s obviously good fun to flirt. He’s also quite gross. And I like playing Yumi, the Young Dreams Japanese girl – their parody of The Hills. seb: I like Banksy and Rachel – they’re our default characters, which we tend to do a lot. And the paranormal investigators are fun.

What was Vomit Cops like to film? seb: Horrible. We had to put this gelatine thing that they mix with soup in our mouths and it’s kind of warm. Dustin: By the end, it was cold. seb: Yeah and you had to hold it in your mouth between takes - I was actually being sick in one of the takes in the background. Just puking up. I’ve got a really weak stomach, I just gag. Anything of that texture is disgusting. Can’t do mash potato either, for example.

It’s fairly dark at points - did you ever pitch sketches that went too far? seb: There was one thing we did

about two slasher writers writing something a bit like The Human Centipede. They lock themselves in a hotel room and become obsessed with all these different ways of killing students. Then they get obsessed with murder and start attacking each other. They end up killing each other. Channel 4 weren’t so keen on that. Dustin: We keep talking about them, though. seb: We did them on stage and it worked a few times – we do talk about revisiting that.

If you could take a character now from your show and turn it into a film, who would it be?Dustin: It’s funny because, even though I don’t think we ever would, we were writing the office flirt strand and, at the moment, it seems to be becoming quite epic. A real road movie. I like how these characters are quite suited to going off on adventures. But saying that, we don’t know really.

What about if you had to be one of your characters for the rest of your lives?Dustin: I’d be Jonesy, the lads on the pull. They were only in one episode. seb: Yeah we were in character talking to girls in the pub, and found it’s actually much easier talking to girls like that! Dustin: We went to a club

We went to a club in Watford in character.

COMEDY

By Stevie Martin

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We have signed copies of the Cardinal Burns DVD to give away to five lucky readers. Just e-mail us at competition@wuwomagazine.com with CARDINAL BURNS in the title.

Cardinal Burns - Winners of the British Comedy award for Best Sketch Show

COMPeTITION

in Watford in character. seb: So you have to inhabit a character for your lifetime? That is a good question. Rachel would be horrendous, I wouldn’t want to be her. Banksy would be tragic. I’d have to be the new guy, eternally positive, and he does well. He pulls women.Dustin: You take the cool characters.seb: Yep.

Which character is Dustin most like in real life?seb: There’s a little bit the paranormal investigators in him - that camp excitement. And maybe

a bit of Charlie, the office flirt. Dustin: Oh God, they’re the worst!

And which character is seb most like?Dustin: Ooh he has a nasty streak like Rachel. He’s so snappy. Seriously, he does them all really well. There’s just something about Rachel, as a character, it is a brilliant transformation... For a man a few years older. seb: I’ll take Rachel.

Where did you get the idea for Kookyville?seb: We started that on stage, it’s nice to have a target no - one’s done

and take the piss out of them. They’d been around for ages and it’s a bit overdue 'cause they’re just really self-worthy and pretentious. Dustin: It looked lovely as well, really beautiful. Garden State is the main target, hat film is painful.

How much creative control do you have?Dustin: Yeah, we’ve got a good team we can trust and they seem to let us have a fair amount of control. seb: We have our producer, the director, and then there’s usually two commissioners that we work with and then the exec producer – that’s the core. If one

person in that disagrees with something then you know, but usually we’re given a lot of control.

It all happened fairly quickly for you.Dustin: A couple of years. They saw our show, we did a taster and then a pilot, and that took about a year – it was a stage by stage process. seb: There weren’t long periods of waiting around, we were quite lucky. I think Channel 4 were supportive and quite definite that they wanted to get something done, but we’ve been performing live for six years.

How did it start?seb: We were in a sketch group called Fat Tongue in 2006. We were three friends from University – including Sophie Black who was in Marek Larwood’s show this year – all into comedy and just decided to give it a go. Me and Dustin had done film stuff, but it was sort of a new style because Sophie brought something individual to it. It was good! Dustin: Then we killed her. seb: Yeah, then we killed her. No, we just decided to part ways.

Also, your names work together really well.

seb: That was the other thing. Dustin: It actually took us a long time to come up with the name!

Really?!seb: We had loads before we settled on Cardinal Burns. e were considering such a horrible, pretentious one for ages. Do you remember?Dustin: Not really…seb: Zazzid on the Metro. Oh God. Dustin: Thankfully, Cardinal Burns just really works.

Cardinal Burns is out on DVD now.

COMEDY

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By Ralph Jones

Nintendo was formed in 1889 – that’s about 83 years before the release of PONG (one of the earliest arcade video games released by Atari in 1972).

The world's largest video game company originally produced hand-painted, Japanese playing cards and were pretty successful at it, until 1964 when sales slumped.

During the Sixties, they made several attempts to diversify the future of Nintendo's direction, which included the creation and failure of the following:

- A taxi company - Vacuum cleaners - A chain of Love Hotels - charging by the hour - Several different toys - A TV network - A food company for instant rice

In 1970, Nintendo hired one of their engineers, Gunpei Yokoi, to commercially replicate a toy that he had designed for fun. The result was the Ultra Hand, which became a massive hit - ring any extendable bells?

Origins: A Brief History of NintendoYou may have heard of Nintendo - they’re a tiny bit famous. Here are a selection of facts relating to this video game giant, a few of which may even succeed in surprising you.

With the commercial success of the Ultra Hand, Yokoi was then promoted, to product development where he designed many other toys, but it wasn’t until 1981 that things really took off.

One of their earliest attempts at video games came in the form of Radar Scope, which had great sales expectations but ended up being a huge failure in America, leaving Nintendo with thousands of unsold arcade cabinets.

In a desperate attempt to salvage their unused stock, Yokoi teamed up with a former art student named Shigeru Miyamoto. Together they created a game about a love triangle between a carpenter, a monkey and a damsel in distress.

This landmark game was released in 1981 and is still regarded as one of the greatest games ever.

Did you know?Nintendo translates

roughly to: leave luck to heaven.

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star Trek Release date: 24 April 2013

Paramount unveiled the Star Trek video game in pre-alpha phase at 2011’s Electronic Entertainment Exposition (E3). They won the praise of critics - including the prestigious Most Valuable Game Award from Official Xbox Magazine and PlayStation: The Official Magazine - and made it to CNN’s Top 5 Games of E3 2011 list.The game’s original story is being penned by BAFTA award winner and God of War writer, Marianne Krawczyk, in collaboration with Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman –  the writers and producers for the upcoming Star Trek film. Built from the ground up as the ultimate co-op experience, this video game allows players to control both Kirk and Spock in a sweeping journey of epic proportions across unexplored planets and enemy battleships - all with the latest 23rd century weapons and gear.

sniper: Ghost Warrior 2 Release date: early 2013

This game takes the bullseye precision of its bestselling predecessor to new and exciting heights. Powered by the CryENGINE 3 engine, the missions of this game are graphically stunning and more challenging as you once again step into the ghillie suit of a special ops sniper to take down the enemy. The game takes all the breathless anticipation, precise controls and skilful fun of sniping. With an array of faithfully recreated weapons are at your disposal, the pace and variation of the game will keep you playing for hours.

Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch Release date: 25 January 2013

A tale of a young boy who embarks on a journey into a parallel world to become a magician to bring his mother back from the dead, helped by magical creatures he befriends along the way. This unique fantasy adventure is developed by LEVEL-5, the studio behind the smash hits Dragon Quest VIII and IX, and the Professor Layton series. For the game’s characters and animations, LEVEL-5 collaborated with the legendary Studio Ghibli, the team responsible for countless animé masterpieces including My Neighbour Totoro, Castle in the Sky and Spirited Away.

AMUSING

GimmicksWUWO Magazine

Contributors WUWO Media

Editor in Chief Steven Godwin Copy Editor Laura Hester

Head of Design Nita Saroglou

Writers Jack Courtez Ralph Jones Nader Khouri Fergus Dufton Aisling Bea Richard Galbraith Sarah Bradley Stevie Martin

Online Editor Jack Courtez

To get in contact about editorial requests editorial@wuwomagazine.comAdvertising requests advertising@wuwomagazine.com

WUWO Magazine is published monthly by WUWO Media. We try and make sure all our information is correct but details may be subject to change. Any physical submissions are sent at the owners risk and we will accept no responsibility for loss or damage. Nothing printed in WUWO Magazine can be copied or republished without our written permission.

Sign up to the WUWO magazine's mailing list to receive exclusive offers and deals only available to WUWO members.

elvis Wales

812 Elvis impersonators gathered at the annual Elvis Festival in Porthcawl, South Wales in September 2012. They broke the world record for the largest number of Elvis impersonators in one place. None were found dead in the Portaloos.

Blues Brothers Derbyshire

Two men in a Blues Brothers tribute band changed their names by deed poll to Jake and Elwood Blues. They are also the only two people in the UK to be allowed sunglasses in their driving licences.

Charlie Chaplin San Francisco

Quite famously, Chaplin is said to have come second in a lookalike competition in Monte Carlo. In fact, the competition was in a theatre in San Francisco and he failed to even make the finals.

Bigfoot aka sasquatch Montana

44-year-old Randy Lee Tenley was ran over and killed in August 2012 while dressed up as Bigfoot. He had been standing by the side of a highway trying to startle drivers when the the accident happened. Randy’s friends told a police officer that “He was trying to make people think he was Sasquatch, so people would call in a Sasquatch sighting.”

wuwomagazine.com facebook.com/whatsupwhatson

We are all prone to having a go at imitating those influential people, celebrities and even beasts that make an impression on our every day lives – living, deceased or mythical.Here are a handful of impersonators of some well-known household names that get a WUWO recognition this month for keen dedication to keeping up appearances – some luckier than others.

wuwomagazine.com facebook.com/whatsupwhatson @whatsupwhatson

WUWO issUE no9 24

Love on the London Underground

By James Preece

Fed up of clocking hot guys on the tube and never making the first move? How are you supposed to approach a cute girl on the Northern line without appearing intimidating? Dating expert James Preece teaches WUWO about the delicate art of finding potential love on a tube carriage.

The power of a cheeky not creepy smile

Everyone is trained to have their nose in a book, headphones in their ears or their eyes diverted everywhere except yours. There will be a moment where they look up, though, and you have to seize the chance to catch their eye and cheekily smile. Use the reflections of the windows and the partitions on the carriage to see if, after you’ve caught their glance, they’re looking at you too. If so, they’re interested.

Copy what they’re doing You have to be on the same level - don’t stand over them while grinning down, because it’ll come across as aggressive. Sit opposite and mimic the way they’re sitting. Arms folded, legs crossed? Do the same and, if after you’ve smiled at them, they’ve unfolded themselves… copy that. Not only does this show you’re interested, you can also tell they’re interested.

Don’t use chat-up lines Once there’s been some form of smile-exchange between you, use whatever they’re holding or reading to strike up a conversation. If they have a phone, say you’re looking to buy one and is theirs any good? Ask them what they’re reading. Ask them the best way to get to Willesden Green from Shoreditch High Street. Don’t use chat-up lines - they just come across as cheesy.

Write them a message This works if it’s rush hour or you’re a bit nervous. Just write, “Hi, I like your smile - fancy a drink?” or “Hi, I think you’re gorgeous. My name’s <insert your name>, Facebook me” or something similar. Write it on a newspaper or a receipt, pass it to them, and get off the train. You’ve made the move, now the next bit is up to them. Get off the train at the next stop if they audibly turn you down

Tube trains are quite regular and it beats everyone in the carriage feeling sorry for you. Never pretend that their stop is also yours, and don’t announce that you’re following them. In fact, don’t ever follow anyone.

No sudden moves, guysSudden moves, gestures or bodily contact is a big no-no for guys, in fact, keep your hands in your pockets or by your side. As previously mentioned, try and stay on their level and keep plenty of space between you. Ladies, just be as nice as possible and keep smiling. Sit with your hands by your sides and your palms facing up - this says you’re open and friendly.

In the tube station, make contact immediately

Within three or four seconds, go and ask for directions. Smile. If they look lost, ask them if they need help but, if they look in a rush, don’t try to approach them. Escalators aren’t the best places to spark up a conversation, especially not if they’re going down and you’re going up, but platforms are good. Strike up a conversation about their phone/book/paper/coat and you’re away.

Practice, practice, practice As with anything, once you’ve done this a few times you’ll be a lot more confident. Practice on people you don’t even like the first few times, if it’ll make things easier. Make sure, though, that you don’t make it obvious this is something you do regularly. For example, don’t get cards with “Hey, you’re nice” and your number printed on them - some people do this, and it comes across as desperate. Or like you’re a huge player.

James Preece is a London based dating expert helping singles around the UK every day. Check out www.jamespreece.com for more information on dating your way to success.

FEATURE

just forStudents

Student Bookbinding specialises in thesis binding anddissertation binding. We like to keep things simple andreduce your stress levels, so everything can be doneon-line...It couldn’t be easier!

www.studentbookbinding.co.ukfind us online:

26 2726 27

Meet Clifford Sagewuwomagazine.com facebook.com/whatsupwhatson @whatsupwhatson

TITLEART EXPLORER

WuWO's art explorer, Joey Holder, is here to uncover a new generation of creative minds.

Joey Holder is a london-based artist.www. joeyholder.com

Inner lift doors enter - conCERN project (still)

Clifford Sage graduated from the Royal College of Art in 2010 specialising in 3D Computer aided design. He creates immersive 3D environments, which become ‘walk through worlds’ that are navigated through the use of a games controller.

Mastering the art of computer platforms such as Unity, CryEngine and 3D Max, Sage allows us to enter unfamiliar domains, explore alien planets and experience electronic soundscapes.

Also a talented musician, he has produced numerous electronic albums under the alias [recsund]. Many of his music releases are produced in tandem with a 3D realm, replacing the traditional music video and permitting for a more interactive, non-linear experience.

www.cliffordsage.co.uk www.recsund.tumblr.com

Next month Feb 2013: Alexis Milne, video/performance artist

Under Construction - conCERN project (still)

Console Ladder - Eva by Heart, night time trailer (still)

Wind Mast

WUWO issUE no9 28

Kasabi-nanSongs from the AdsForgotten Bands

music

By Fergus Dufton

Each month we look at some older music that needs to be dusted off and put back into your life…

Ever seen an advert on telly and wondered what the song in the background was? WUWO is here to help.

Each month WUWO investigates a band from the 'where are they now?' pile, shedding light on what became of them after the glory days. This month… what ever happened to Savage Garden?

Need some new music in your life? Not sure where to look? WUWO has a suggestion...

Genesis

Radical Face

savage Garden

Trademarks stamped during the month of January.

1880Patent #223,898 was granted to Thomas A. Edison, for 'an electric lamp for giving light by incandescence.' Joseph Swan of England and Thomas Edison of America were both working on creating electric lights at the same time, and both receive credit for the invention of the light bulb. Edison’s was the most efficient - he eventually produced a lamp that could give light for up to 1200 hours.

1930Mickey Mouse cartoon first appeared in newspapers throughout the USA. Mickey Mouse’s image is the most reproduced in the world, with 7,500 items that bear his likeness. Jesus is second and Elvis is third.

1943Casablanca the movie was copyrighted and shortly thereafter became one of the most universally misquoted films of all time. The actual last line is, “Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

1965Invention: HOME OF THE WHOPPER trademark registered. What would our world be without these words? Healthy? Maybe. Apparently McDonalds has its name because the Scottish are amongst the least hated people across the globe.

1983Michael Jackson’s Thriller was copyrighted. The song that led to that music video, to be performed worldwide in talent shows, flash mobs, nativity plays and the like for at least the following 30 years. Learn the dance at www.thrilltheworld.com.

Just to let you know...

I am always one click ahead - so says the team behind the Nikon 1, a camera so advanced that it seems to be able to get into your head - is this the beginning of the end?With a claim that bold, the advertisers needed a song that viewers will presumably love before they even hear the whole thing. Step forward Radical Face and their track Welcome Home, a pleasantly epic ballad that sticks and makes you want to listen to the rest, before you even know you do…

Mumford & Sons play arenas now, The Maccabees are packing out Alexandra Palace and Bombay Bicycle Club are doing

Brixton Academy. Whilst it's great that more people are getting into these bands, do you find yourself yearning for a more intimate gig experience?Combining the best of the above and adding a little something of their own are Dog is Dead, a Nottingham based five-piece who recently released their debut album All Our Favourite Stories. Widely tipped to break through in 2013, it's worth catching them now in the smaller venues.

Who are they?Now known simply as Phil Collins, Genesis were one of England’s biggest bands throughout the 70s and 80s. Starting out as highly theatrical Prog Rock band, they ended up writing some of the most recognisable pop tracks of all time.

When were they at their height?Despite forming in 1967, it wasn’t until the mid-eighties that the band hit their heights with drummer Phil Collins taking over vocal duties from original singer Peter Gabriel. This manoeuvred the band in a more accessible, mainstream direction.

Where are they now?The three longest serving members reunited for what seems to have been a farewell tour in 2007 although there are persistent rumours that all the members could still reunite in the future.

Where do I start?Any collection of their singles between 1980 and 1990 would be a good start - failing that, get hold of 1986’s Invisible Touch.

During a recent trip to the North, I sang Savage Garden’s To the Moon and Back in a karaoke bar. The muted reception and general looks of bewilderment on people’s faces may have been as a result of my singing but more likely is that people have completely forgotten who Savage Garden are. That needs to change.Savage Garden, originally called Crush, formed after guitarist Daniel Jones and singer Darren Hayes left their university covers band Red Edge to work on their own material. Within 18 months they had released debut single I Want You, which peaked in the Australian charts at number four. International success soon followed with Truly Madly Deeply spending an entire year in the Billboard Hot 100 in the US. This success helped their eponymous debut album go 12x Platinum in Australia, 8x Platinum in America and 2x Platinum in the UK. 1999’s follow up Affirmation built on the success with emotional ballad I Knew I Loved You breaking the record for most number of weeks on the Billboard Adult Contemporary charts in America - 124 weeks!With the world seemingly at their feet, the pair split in 2001 and Savage Garden was no more. There is some solace though as Darren Hayes has gone on to have a reasonably successful solo career, consistently appearing in the UK charts during the mid noughties. Hayes is infamously unyielding with regards to the prospect of a Savage Garden reunion and sadly for fans it’s a firm no.

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retronaut Presents:WUWO issUE no7 30FEATURE

Mafia connections, heists, hollywood films, 15 of the 25 largest hotels and nuclear weapon test parties. All were held in what started as a small railroad town in the middle of the Nevada desert. Relaxed gambling laws and the Hoover Dam supplied vast economic power and resources to the previously small settlement of Las Vegas. While money comes as fast as it goes in Sin City, the chip - not the dollar, is king.

Retronaut’s visual journey through time reflects on 60 years of rags, riches, fear and loathing in Las Vegas, through the humble plastic token.

Las Vegas Gaming Chips 1960 to 1970

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WUWO ISSUE No9 32 WUWO ISSUE No9 33FOOD

Cocktail of the Month

The White Lady

Gin is a perfect cocktail ingredient, especially when combined with citrus flavours. It makes for an exquisite bitter-sweet experience, with a fantastic kick and wobbly after effect.

The White Lady is tangy and fresh. A flexible feature of this cocktail is that it’s easy to customise. For example, with a dash of grenadine, it can effortlessly be converted into a Pink Lady, which also might pass you off as a bit of a cocktail aficionado. The egg white is optional. Cocktail boffins claim it’s not included in the original recipe. Without it, the outcome is a pale yellow sort of colour, which wouldn’t particularly live up to this cocktails name.

Ingredients: 50ml Gin 25ml Cointreau 25ml lemon juice 1 egg white

How to Make It:1. Put all the ingredients together

in a cocktail shaker with some ice.

2. Shake well until chilled.3. Strain into a pretty glass.4. Pass a lemon wedge along the

rim of the glass.5. And serve.

A totally wild approach to warm beveragesTea is one of the staples of the stereotypical British identity, and coffee has been equally as popular for decades too.

Consumption of this beverage involves tastes as refined as those of a wine expert. The perfect coffee bean has become something of a holy grail in modern society. The search for the finest bean and blend is a serious pursuit for adventurous, independent coffee shop owners.

The choice in tea also reflects the wide variations in the penchants of its connoisseurs - you can be sure that a tea drinker has a specific preference. It’s not just humans involved in the quest for the perfect tea and coffee. The common palm civet cat’s taste in beans is highly prized in Indonesian tradition.

Coffee farmers allow the animals to eat their crops, then collect the droppings and sift out the beans, which remain whole as the animal is unable to digest them. The civet is believed to consume only the finest.They are considered an esteemed delicacy and known as Kopi Luwak. Only 500kg is available per year, branding it as the ultimate in exclusivity and rarity.

Prefer a cup of tea? Don’t feel left out – there are animals out there just as dedicated to hunt down a quality cuppa for you. Luckily, there’s no digestion involved in monkey picked tea and when brewed, is a pale golden colour that has a light, delicate flavour.

In a remote mountain region of China, monkeys are trained to select tea leaves from rare, wild tea plants. These primates have the ability to easily access steep mountain areas impassable to humans. They are also naturally gentle pickers, more so than us heavy handed humans. Fancy adding a bit of interest to your tea party? Then civet coffee and monkey picked tea are stocked in various spots around London – including in Selfridges. The other option is to purchase online from www.firebox.com – perhaps served with some chocolate covered ants or scorpion toffee? Beats a bit of battenberg any day.

WUWO’s Menu Curious Diets

By Sarah Bradley

Make a roman cheesecake:Ingredients:

75g plain flour150g ricotta cheese1 egg, beaten Bay leaves75g clear honey

How to prepare:1. Sift the flour into a mixing

bowl.2. Beat the cheese until soft and

then stir into the flour. Add the beaten egg to this and form into a soft dough.

3. Divide the dough into four even dough shaped pieces. Place on a greased baking tray with a bay leaf beneath each.

4. Heat the oven to 190°c (gas mark 5). Bake for 35-40 minutes until golden brown.

5. Warm the honey, pour onto a flat plate and place the buns in it, leave to rest until honey is absorbed.

Historical eating Habits

How to eat like an ancient Roman

In the Roman Empire food was one of the most important parts of their culture, particularly the evening meal, which could begin as early as 2pm and continue on through the night. To imitate the Romans, eat with your hands, although spoons are allowed for liquids and knives too for cutting stuff (at times made from antlers way back then). Meat was expensive and eaten regularly only by the wealthy. The majority more likely ate fish, with poorer people’s diets being restricted mainly to porridge. Latin poet Horace ate porridge, onion and pancake for his dinner. Breakfast was known as ientaculum and took place near dawn within the first hour of sunlight. It consisted largely of bread dipped in salt, olive oil, honey, fruit, cheese or even wine. Lunch, or prandium, was a simple meal held around 11am of eggs with bread and cheese or leftovers from the previous day. When it was time for cena, or dinner, meat, eggs, vegetables and fruit would be served and it was expected to recline whilst eating. Sticklers for tradition would throw up when beginning to feel full in order to continue eating.Baked dormice and the uteri of young female pigs were deemed Roman delicacies and were washed down by watery wine. After the main course, an offering of wheat, salt and wine would be made to the household gods. These days this action would most probably be substituted by turning on the telly.

The Baby Food DietFad diets regularly pop up and tend to demand that the dieter relinquishes most normal foods in favour of something bizarre and, more often than not, lacking balanced nutrition. Easily spotted by the need to consume the novelty item almost consistently – presumably to trick your body into not noticing that you are starving it. Perhaps one plus point for the baby food diet is that at least it comes in a variety of flavours. Created by the celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson, this diet is about as ga-ga as any pressure to be a size 0.

Those on the diet commit to consuming 14 portions of baby food throughout the day. This includes the option of a healthy, low-calorie adult meal in the evening. Regular cardiovascular exercise is a must in order for it to be effective. We are not entirely sure how the adult version of hardcore aerobics relates to crawling a meter or so, then rolling over, sucking on your own feet and gurgling with delight. Let’s hope that’s not a side effect of this bizarre, weight-reduction regime.

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How to make an upcycled, tin can wine rackThis wine rack is easy to make, looks modern and all you need to create it is a few empty food tins and some metal glue. It’s important that you use the right size tin - various sizes of tin are required for various sized bottles. A tin measuring more than three inches in diameter is suitable for wine bottles and four inches for champagne or sparkling wine bottles. Get in those cupboards with a tape measure and start emptying out those cans – no doubt a crazy mess of a meal will come out of this tin emptying mission – peaches and beans, delicious!

Materials: Tin cans A tin opener Strong metal glue Some pegs or hair-grips Paint (optional)

Instructions:1. Prep the tins by removing both top and bottom, wash thoroughly and remove all labels. 2. Lay out them out in the form of how you envision that your wine rack would look, keeping the larger tins on

the bottom row. 3. Glue the tins together, unevenly, so that the tops of the tins don’t meet – it needs enough surface area to stand

of its own accord. 4. Use the pegs/hair-grips to hold the tins together while the glue dries. When dry, glue each row on top of

each other. 5. Finally, paint the result to your own taste. www.michellekaufmann.com/category/blog/

fork it to the man...wuwomagazine.com facebook.com/whatsupwhatson @whatsupwhatson

Note Holders: 1. Have the paper, card or whatever you

would like to display in your note holder ready to hand.

2. Bend the middle prongs of the heated fork forward slightly, leaving the two prongs on the outside in their original position. Insert your sample note into the prongs to check for a good, sturdy fit while holding your fork up. Bend as necessary.

3. Fix to the wall using the metal glue on the handle and any other contact points. Hold in place until dry.

www.designsponge.comtheartofothers.blogspot.co.uk

DIY

fork note-holders and cutlery hooksThese creations are a straightforward and stylish way to organise your life. No spare cutlery lying about? Don’t give up! There is usually a plentiful supply of ornate and sturdy eating utensils lurking about in charity shops – at ridiculously low prices. A fork’s multi-pronged form makes a natural showcase to hold notes and pictures and if bent back on itself – with the same treatment for it’s spoon cousin - it can be made into a hook.

Materials: Metal forks and spoons Strong metal glue or all purpose glue Blocks of wood (optional) Paint (optional)

Instructions:Place cutlery in boiling water for a short while, this way it will be easy to shape. Remove with tongs and allow to cool slightly.

For the Hooks:1. Bend the handles around a small, round object (a small glass) to guide it into a hook shape. 2. This is a good point to paint your cutlery hooks, should you so desire. 3. Fix hooks to the wall (or to a wooden block if you want to protect the walls) with your metal glue making sure

the the top of the spoon/fork faces upwards. Hold in place until dry.

Badly planned theme park Trapped in a dangerous place Hunted by lizards

Battle against Nazis All for a cup of water Three tests will decide

Crazy scientists Crisis at the Pentagon Yeehaw! Ride the bomb!

Powerful tycoon All he wanted was a sled Destroys truth instead

Holiday romance Secret love is discovered Proves himself through dance

A king dispossessed Envy over the lion’s share A young prince returns

The man with no name The rag-tag crew of misfits Plus some cannibals

Not the brightest spark But he tries so very hard And runs fast as well

At the last WUWO film night, we forgot the names of some of our favourite films. Help us out and we’ll send five correct entries copies of the new Total Recall and That’s My Boy on DVD

EMAIL THE ANSWERS TO THE HAIkUS TO: COMPETITION@WUWOMAgAzINE.COM

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Thailand’s Secret Island

The once wild and rustic islands on the west coast – as portrayed in the film The Beach – are now few and far between and overrun by swarms of visitors, traffic, thriving night-life and an abundance of resorts. Are there any hidden gems in the kingdom of smiles that have managed to dodge this inevitable influx?In the grand scheme of the planet, Thailand is a an obvious choice of tourist destination and has been for many years now. Famous for it’s full moon parties, red light districts, pretty temples and pristine white beaches - tourism is now rife and in full flow.

Approximately 600km south of the capital Bangkok on the west coast lies the lush, jungle province of Ranong. Just off the coast of it’s principal town (also known as Ranong), tucked away and hidden in the Andaman Sea, a stones throw from Myanmar, is the island of Koh Chang.

This untouched gem of an island has somehow managed to avoid the masses over the years and remains mostly untouched by the usual bombardments of tourist destinations. It fits the format of lush, hilly jungle trimmed by peachy sand beaches and bays, crystal clear lagoons on one side, and mangrove swamps on the other.The main beach is Ao Yai, Koh Chang’s longest bay, which is sprinkled with basic, bungalow resorts that are nestled out of view in the tree line, giving the impression of a deserted island upon arrival. A large percentage of your accommodation options are located on it’s western shores, providing a prime spot to watch the sun set over the Burmese islands in the distance. There are no real roads, just a few paths – dirt and concrete – connecting the various bays, plantations and houses that are nestled within the central part. This entails almost no traffic – just the odd motorbike owned by the locals.Electricity is supplied by the means of a generator for three to four hours in the evenings. Solar panels are starting to pop up here and there, and internet exists only in the form of your mobile phone – don’t hold your breath though, connections are notoriously slow. There are only a couple of small bars and it’s hit or miss if you stumble onto a banging night. Otherwise there is a distinct social scene amongst resorts and some interesting characters from all ends of the world lurking about. Oddly enough, it’s attracted a handful of tattoo artists who work on a casual basis and produce some impressive body art.

Each bungalow establishment has a restaurant attached that vary in quality but provide decent food at reasonable, but not super cheap prices, with a German twist of schnitzels that inhabit menus alongside the usual Thai dishes. The only downside is that there are no real local food stalls of any sort, unlike the endless choice available on the mainland. A couple of mini-markets are dotted across the island that offer basic bits and bobs, but the vast majority of the produce is brought in by taxi boat from the mainland. If you are planning a holiday to this part of the world and would like to get away, get rustic and back to basics in Thailand, then Koh Chang is definitely worth a visit. A rare find in Thailand these days and probably one of the last of it’s kind.

TRAVEL

By Laura Hester Images by Laura Hester

The time to visit:

Between November and April

How to get there:Frequent night buses run to and from Bangkok’s southern bus terminal on a daily basis (about nine hours journey time). There are also flights, although not every day, to and from the capital on jovially named Happy Air. Upon arrival to Ranong town, find your way to the Koh Chang/Koh Payam pier and jump on a taxi boat. They leave at 9:30am and 2:00pm in the high season.

Warning!There are two Koh Chang islands in Thailand – there is also one in the province of Trat, which is on the other side of the country on the border of Cambodia. It’s much bigger than the one in Ranong with a proper infrastructure i.e. roads and electrics! If you find yourself at a bus station, then you know you are on the wrong island! It happens more than you think...

PLAN YOUR TRIP

If Koh Chang gets too quiet for your liking, then hop off to it’s neighbouring island (45 minutes by taxi boat), Koh Payam, to get a bit more action. Rent a motorbike and tour the island, hit the main string of bars and get into the party vibe.

NEED TO PARTY?

KOH CHANG, RANONG, THAIlAND

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Uk actor Alexander Vlahos made his mark in BBC1’s hit series Merlin, which drew to a close at Christmas. From January, catch him playing Private keenan, the lead role in new BBC drama Privates, which follows the last ever group of conscripts for national service in the 1960s.

Alexander Vlahos

How do you connect to the subject matter of Privates?I’ve had no personal or past experiences with conscription. None of my family have gone through what we go through in the series, so in that respect, I was a relative newcomer to the thematic view point of Privates. It was a great learning curve doing this show.

How is the subject of conscription and national service approached in Privates? It is at the forefront of the drama, but doesn’t overrule it. These lads are getting the short straw because as they begin their national service and arrive, there is this announcement that the government are planing to get rid of it. They feel incredibly hard done by that it was their call-up papers that were the last to be sent.

How did you prepare for your role in Privates?We had a week long intensive period before filming where all of us got put through our paces with a drill Sergeant. It was incredibly tough and mentally exhausting. We tackled each of the experiences that the real privates would’ve had to have done - assault courses, CS gas training, drill marching, rifle control - even kit inspections!

How has the experience of filming Privates affected you?It was life changing in every way. My mindset was changed the most. It altered my work ethic, how much of me I put into a role

and how much I can take things into my own hands. My attitudes towards soldiers, the army, the training and the politics of war have all changed too. It was like getting a ‘wake up’ slap in the face.

What can you tell us about the rest of the cast and crew and your relationships with them?As intense as the training was, so was the filming aspect. We all trained, acted and then lived together. There was no escape! We quickly became close friends but also we were stepping on each others toes. Arguments happened, but also a lot of care and affection happened too.

The series is being broadcast at a time specifically aimed at people who have experienced conscription and national service, do you feel you have a duty to your audience? How do you think it will be received?Completely. 100%. A duty to get it right, a duty to show the bare truth of what they went through - but then, let’s not forget this is not a documentary, but a drama - some aspects of course are heightened for comedic or drama purposes. I think the show has perfectly captured the right elements of the real and of the fictitious. It’s my proudest work and I would hope that it’s seen in a very good light.

What has happened in your life since you’ve become much more of an on screen presence?Not much change, I guess. Acting wise, I’m getting more auditions

and my profile as an actor is most certainly higher than it was previously. Personal life, no change there - I think it’s the trickiest aspect of any actor is finding the balance between work and the personal. It’s a juggling act!

Have you worked with anyone so far in your career, and you’ve just thought “Wow!”, anyone who’s really inspired you?Andrew Scott and John Simm. I worked alongside both of them in the theatre. With Andrew at The National Theatre in Emperor & Galilean - he inspired me by the choices he makes as an actor. John, I worked with in Hamlet at the Sheffield Crucible and is a truly exceptional talent.

Would you describe yourself as ambitious? What would be your dream role?

I’m very ambitious. It’s probably one of my traits that seems to rub people up the wrong way. I can’t be still - I always need to be thinking about the next project, the next idea, the next choice. My dream role would be Doctor Who - that’s my fanboy element coming through! I’ve watched it since I was a child, the old black and white episodes with Hartnell and Troughton. I think what Matt Smith is doing in the role is genius - they’d be pretty big shoes to fill but I’m up for a challenge!

Privates starts on BBC1 on 7th January.

FEATURE

It was life changing

in every way. My mindset was changed the most. It altered my work ethic.

By Sarah Bradley

40WUWO ISSUE No9 40