Written By TIm keLLy Lyrics & music By BILL franCoeurCHoruS one: (Sings.) Petticoats and a poodle...

© Copyright 1997, by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.

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The amateur acting rights to this play are controlled exclusively by PIoneer Drama SerVICe, InC., P.o. Box 4267, englewood, Colorado 80155, without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind may be given. on all programs and advertising this notice must appear: “Produced by special arrangement with PIoneer Drama SerVICe, InC., englewood, Colorado.”

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Written By TIm keLLyLyrics & music By BILL franCoeur

ii

the nifty fiftiesa musical comedy tribute to the 1950s

Book by TIm keLLymusic & Lyrics by BILL franCoeur

muSICaL numBerS

aCT one

mC 1 THe nIfTy fIfTIeS .....................................................Company

mC 2 roCk arounD THe BLoCk ...............Gracie, Luncheonette Gang

mC 3 IT WaS THe BLoB ......................... Jughead, Luncheonette Gang

mC 4 oH, BaBy ........................................................................Ziggy

mC 5 BoP-a-Lu-BoP DanCe ParTy .....................................Company

aCT TWo

mC 6 enTr’aCTe

mC 7 reBeLS WITH a CauSe .................................Sinbad, misty, riff

mC 8 eDSeL ............................................................................edna

mC 9 Teen Queen ....................................................... Teen Queens

mC 10 IT’S TouGH To Be a TeenaGer In LoVe ............George, Gracie

mC 11 HIPPITy HoP............................................................Company

mC 11a oH, BaBy (reprise) ....................................................... Bob

mC 11B oH, BaBy (reprise) ......................................................Ziggy

mC 12 THe nIfTy fIfTIeS (reprise) ......................................Company

mC 13 CurTaIn CaLL

mC 14 eXIT muSIC

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aCT oneScene one

muSIC Cue 1: “nifty fifties.”

LIGHTS uP: aS muSIC BeGInS, ComPany enTerS in the dark from rIGHT and LefT. a SPoTLIGHT comes uP on reBeL Guy and GIrL and PrePPIe Guy and GIrL, DoWn CenTer. [Consult ProDuCTIon noTeS for costuming suggestions.] aLL oTHerS are frozen.

reBeL Guy: (Sings.) Hey, listen, won’t you follow me?

PrePPIe GIrL: (Sings.) Take a journey to another time.

PrePPIe Guy: (Sings.) you won’t be disappointed, wait and see.

reBeL GIrL: (Sings.) Close your eyes and sit back, take a ride

aLL SoLoISTS: (Shout.) To the nifty fifties! (LIGHTS UP. COMPANY UNFREEZES.)

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo.yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Petticoats and a poodle skirt,

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Black boots and a motorcycle jacket.

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) Saddle shoes and bobbysox,

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Dungarees and a cool white t-shirt.

ComPany: (Sings.) Take me right back to the nifty fifties,I long to be there every now and then.I’m cruisin’ back to the nifty fifties,I’m gonna live it all again!(The following TWO STANZAS are sung softly under following DIALOGUE.)

aLL GuyS: (Except SOLOISTS. Sing.)Come-a, come-a, come on along.Come-a, come-a, come on along.

aLL GIrLS: (Except SOLOISTS. Sing.)ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo.yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) yes, folks, it was the nifty fifties, a time of rebel teens, wild music, fast cars and crazy fads.

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reBeL Guy: (Speaks.) Like flying saucers and 3-D movies.

reBeL GIrL: (Speaks. Dreamy.) James Dean and marlon Brando.

PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) Hula hoops and Davy Crockett hats.

PrePPIe GIrL: (Speaks. Dreamy.) elvis, Buddy and Dion.

reBeL Guy: (Speaks.) and of course no self-respecting guy would be caught dead without a comb in his back pocket. (Takes out comb and combs his hair.)

reBeL GIrL: (Speaks. Holding up a lipstick container.) and no self-respecting girl would be caught dead without the latest shade of lipstick. (Applies lipstick.)

PrePPIe GIrL: (Speaks.) Shades like Hound Dog orange or Heartbreak Hotel Pink.

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) french twist with a little curl,

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Ducktails ’n’ long, thick sideburns.

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) Cute bangs and a ponytail,

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) a slick D.a’s gonna get my dream girl.

ComPany: (Sings.) Take me right back to the nifty fifties,I long to be there every now and then.I’m cruisin’ back to the nifty fifties,I’m gonna live it all again!(The following TWO STANZAS are sung softly under following DIALOGUE.)



PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) The slang of the 1950s changed faster than elvis’ waistline. for example, “hot” in 1950 soon changed to “cool.”

PrePPIe GIrL: (Speaks.) “real gone” became “the most.”

reBeL Guy: (Speaks.) and soon “way, way out” was just about as “in” as you could get.

PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) and of course, nobody wanted to be labeled...

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aLL four SoLoISTS: (Speak. Drawing a diagram in the air.) Square!

reBeL GIrL: (Speaks.) Which was the worst thing you could possibly be.

reBeL Guy: (Speaks.) a guy had to work hard to be cool in the 1950s.

PrePPIe GIrL: (Speaks. Flippant.) yeah! How else would you ever get a date?!

PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) That’s right!

reBeL GIrL: (Speaks. In reference to PREPPY COUPLE.) and uh... some of us had to work harder at it than others.

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) Gonna meet him at the soda shop,

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Gonna take her to the high school sock hop.

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) Drive-in movie on a-Saturday night.

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Lover’s lane in the summertime moonlight.

ComPany: (Sings.) Take me right back to the nifty fifties,I long to be there every now and then.I’m cruisin’ back to the nifty fifties,I’m gonna live it all again.(The following TWO STANZAS are sung softly under following DIALOGUE.)



PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) Well, anyway, I think you get the picture.

PrePPIe GIrL: (Speaks.) The 1950s was a great time to be a teenager.

reBeL Guy: (Speaks to OTHER THREE.) Hey, dig it! Whadaya say we all meet at Louise’s Luncheonette, suck down a soda and spin a few tunes on the juke?

oTHer THree: (Speak. Ad lib.) Swell idea! Cool! Groovy!

reBeL Guy: (Speaks directly to audience.) of course, you’re all invited to come, too.

reBeL GIrL: (Speaks.) Be there or be square!

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PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) yes, folks, the 1950s was the most! and the one thing that helped to make it that way,

PrePPIe GIrL: (Speaks.) The best thing to come out of the 1950s,

ComPany: (A shout.) rock and roll!(Sings.) Take me right back to the nifty fifties,I long to be there every now and then.I’m cruisin’ back to the nifty fifties,I’m gonna live it all again!(Company divides into CHORUS ONE and TWO.)

CHoruS TWo GuyS: (Sings. Except SOLOISTS.)Come-a come-a, come-on along.Come-a come-a to the nifty fifties!

CHoruS TWo GuyS/GIrLS: (Sings. Except SOLOISTS.)Come-a come-a, come-on along.Come-a come-a to the nifty fifties!Come-a come-a, come-on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!(The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a duet.)

CHoruS one: (Sings.) Petticoats and a poodle skirt,Black boots and a motorcycle jacket.Saddle shoes and bobbysox,Dungarees and a cool white t-shirt.

CHoruS TWo: (Sings.) Come-a come-a, come-on along.Come-a come-a to the nifty fifties!Come-a come-a, come-on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

a feW SoPranoS: (Sing.) ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo!

CHoruS one: (Sings.) french twist, with a little curl,Ducktails ’n’ long thick sideburns.Cute bangs and a ponytail,a slick D.a.’s gonna get that dream girl.

CHoruS TWo: (Sings.) Come-a come-a, come-on along.Come-a come-a to the nifty fifties!Come-a come-a, come-on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!(The COMPANY slowly begins to EXIT as the MUSIC FADES during the following chorus. The four soloists are the last to EXIT behind

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the COMPANY. The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)


CHoruS one: (Sings.) Petticoats and a poodle skirt,Black boots and a motorcycle jacket.Saddle shoes and bobbysox,Dungarees and a cool white t-shirt.

CHoruS TWo: (Sings.) Come-a come-a, come-on along.Come-a come-a to the nifty fifties!Come-a come-a, come-on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)


CHoruS one: (Sings.) french twist, with a little curl,Ducktails ’n’ long thick sideburns.Cute bangs and a ponytail,a slick D.a.’s gonna get that dream girl.

CHoruS TWo: (Sings.) Come-a come-a, come-on along.Come-a come-a to the nifty fifties!Come-a come-a, come-on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!(PREPPIE COUPLE EXITS arm in arm. REBEL GUY EXITS combing his hair while REBEL GIRL is holding a small pocket mirror and applying lipstick. BLACKOUT.)

end of Scene one

aCT oneScene Two

LIGHTS uP: DonaLD is cleaning glasses with a dish towel behind the counter. He wears a white jacket, a black bow tie and a soda jerk’s white paper hat. He quietly hums some of “oh, Baby.” LouISe, proprietor of Louise’s Luncheonette, enTerS from kitchen. She wears an apron and chef’s cap. Behind her strides VIrGInIa SeGaL. She wears a waitress’ apron and cap. LouISe moves to DoWn rIGHT table.

VIrGInIa: I’m so nervous.

LouISe: There’s nothing to worry about, Virginia. everybody’s nervous their first day.

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VIrGInIa: I hope I don’t spill anything.

LouISe: That’s what towels are for. (Nods to DONALD.) Donald was a nervous wreck his first day. Weren’t you, Donald?

DonaLD: If you say so.

LouISe: Spilled a banana split on the floor. It was very messy. Hard to clean up.

VIrGInIa: How awful.

DonaLD: It wasn’t so bad. But Louise’s memory is.

LouISe: Why do you say that?

DonaLD: Because it wasn’t a banana split. I recall every detail. It was a chocolate college ice. one scoop of chocolate, chocolate syrup, crushed cashews, marshmallow sauce. Cherry on top.

LouISe: I could have sworn it was a banana split, heavy on the crushed pineapple.

DonaLD: nope. That came later.

LouISe: (To VIRGINIA.) everything needed is on the table. (Indicates.) Straws, napkins, salt and pepper, sugar, menu. you’ll carry your order book and pencil in your apron pocket.

VIrGInIa: uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. (EDNA ENTERS hurriedly from LEFT. She has a coat over her shoulders. Wears waitress’ apron and cap.)

eDna: I know I’m late, Louise. Don’t scold.

LouISe: I won’t scold. Come and meet your replacement. Virginia Segal. Virginia, this is edna Stover.

eDna: We already know each other.

LouISe: oh?

VIrGInIa: Sorry to hear you’re moving to michigan.

eDna: Dad’s getting a great job. The automobile business is booming, and he wants to be part of it. He’s helping to design the edsel.

LouISe: Whatever that is.

DonaLD: I bet you’ll miss the old hometown.

eDna: I’m sure I will.

LouISe: you’ll make new friends.

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eDna: But I won’t forget the old ones.

LouISe: (To VIRGINIA.) most of the kids will order cheeseburgers with fries. It’s the number one after-school treat.

DonaLD: Don’t forget lime Cokes and cherry Cokes and vanilla Cokes. They’re popular, too.

LouISe: (Checks her wristwatch.) They should be here any minute. School’s out for the day. edna, you give Virginia a hand. (EDNA applauds, smile on her face.)

DonaLD: That’s what I call a hand.

LouISe: I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. (EXITS to kitchen.)

VIrGInIa: Thanks, Louise. (To EDNA.) She’s awfully nice, isn’t she?

eDna: The best. If it’s food they want, tell Louise. If it’s floats, shakes, malts, ice cream, beverages, tell Donald.

DonaLD: (Holds up metal shaker.) ready for action. for toppings it’s chocolate, strawberry, caramel and crushed pineapple.

eDna: Sounds good. (Takes off coat.) Let me get rid of this. (She EXITS to kitchen. From OFFSTAGE LEFT we hear VOICES approaching.)

ann’S VoICe: I think I’m failing Latin.

Jane’S VoICe: Latin’s a dead language.

ann’S VoICe: I’ll be dead when my father sees my report card.

muffIn’S VoICe: High school is so boring. (Three GIRLS, each about 17, ENTER. The first in, the leader, is MUFFIN MANSFIELD. She’s snooty, haughty and convinced she’s an exceptional human being. Behind her are ANN COLLIER and JANE CONNOLLY. They try, not too successfully, to copy MUFFIN’S demeanor. All carry schoolbooks or bookbags.)

DonaLD: Look who’s here. royalty.

muffIn: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

DonaLD: Suit yourself.

ann: Donald Spinney is so rude.

Jane: Common.

DonaLD: La-di-dah.

muffIn: If you don’t show more respect for paying customers, I’ll report you to the management.

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DonaLD: management? you mean Louise. She’s in the kitchen. Want me to get her?

ann: Ignore him, muffin. He’s not worth our time.

muffIn: He’s beneath notice.

DonaLD: you’ve broken my little heart.

Jane: my cocker spaniel, Tippy, has more manners than Donald Spinney.

ann: He’ll always be a jerk.

DonaLD: I trust you mean soda jerk. Look at it this way, I’m the best soda jerk in town.

TrIo: Humph.

muffIn: We’d better get a table before the place fills up. I hate sitting at the counter.

VIrGInIa: (Indicates DOWN RIGHT table.) Here’s a nice table.

muffIn: no, I don’t think so. It’s too close to Donald Spinney.

ann: I think it’s unattractive to sit close to the counter.

VIrGInIa: (Crosses to DOWN LEFT table.) How about this one?

Jane: What do you think, muffin?

muffIn: I think... (Points to UP CENTER table.) this one. (ANN and JANE quickly take seats at the UP CENTER table. To VIRGINIA.) I haven’t seen you before.

VIrGInIa: first day.

DonaLD: Don’t give her a hard time. She’s a nice girl.

VIrGInIa: my name’s Virginia.

muffIn: We didn’t ask for your name.

ann: She’s awful forward for a waitress, don’t you think? (MUFFIN sits at the table. The three take menus.)

muffIn: Let’s study the menu.

DonaLD: Why study the menu? It’s the same as it was yesterday. It never changes.

muffIn: Don’t answer him, girls. It would only encourage him.

Jane: He’s so fresh.

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VIrGInIa: may I take your orders?

muffIn: Come back later.

VIrGInIa: Sure. (VIRGINIA steps to the counter. She and DONALD talk in pantomime. JUGHEAD JARVIS, wearing a varsity jacket, ENTERS LEFT.)

JuGHeaD: Where are the trumpets? Where are the drums? Where are the damsels? Jughead Jarvis is here.

DonaLD: Hi, Jughead.

JuGHeaD: Hi, Donald. (Steps to UP CENTER table.) Hiya, girls. (ANN, MUFFIN and JANE find JUGHEAD as obnoxious as they find DONALD. They try to ignore him.)

TrIo: (Barely audible.) Hello, Jughead.

JuGHeaD: Did any of you dolls see that movie at the Bijou?

Jane: We’re not dolls.

muffIn: If you don’t mind, Jughead, ann and Jane and I were having a private conversation.

JuGHeaD: Well, excuse me. (Imitating MUFFIN.) “ann and Jane and I were having a private conversation.” I think I’ll saunter over to the soda fountain and have a private conversation with a glass of root beer. (He crosses to counter, says something to DONALD. DONALD, in mime, introduces him to VIRGINIA and pours a root beer.)

muffIn: Honestly, girls, the boys at our school are definitely not worth talking about. They have no class. none whatsoever.

ann: no appreciation of the finer things in life. They don’t know how to treat a lady. (JUGHEAD sits at counter, sips root beer.)

muffIn: There’s just one boy who has potential.

ann: (Teasingly.) you don’t mean...?

Jane: of course she does. George Bullock.

ann: (Dreamy.) George Bullock. He’s not only a basketball star, he’s handsome.

Jane: and shy. He sure doesn’t have much to say.

muffIn: That’s because he’s the strong, silent type. Still water runs deep.

Jane: Who’s talking about still water?

ann: He’s driving a new road Buick Skylark convertible.

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Jane: How do you know?

ann: I saw him at the drive-in.

Jane: (Excited.) Who was he with?

ann: Bunch of guys.

Jane: How disappointing.

muffIn: Personally, I think it’s unfeminine to notice what kind of car a boy drives.

ann: all the girls have stars in their eyes when George Bullock’s around.

muffIn: Girls with stars in their eyes usually end up marrying boys like Jughead and Donald.

Jane/ann: How depressing.

Jane: Do you think you can get him to take you to the Hippity Hop?

muffIn: He may be quiet, but he’ll ask me. Wait and see. (ANN and JANE are thrilled. Giggle.) The service in this place is terrible. (Looks to VIRGINIA.) yoo-hoo! Waitress. Customers waiting. (VIRGINIA turns, crosses to the table. Takes out an order pad and pencil. EDNA ENTERS from kitchen.)

JuGHeaD: Hey, edna, did you see that picture at the Bijou?

eDna: I haven’t been to the Bijou in weeks. Too much on my mind with my family moving to Detroit and all.

JuGHeaD: When you move, we’re going to miss you.

eDna: Thanks, Jughead. (Calls over to MUFFIN and OTHERS.) I’m going to miss all my “friends.”

ann: Did you hear that?

Jane: She calls us her friends. That’s pretty brazen.

muffIn: Some people are so crude. I’ll have a cheeseburger and a lime Coke. Lots of ice. (VIRGINIA writes.)

Jane: I’m on a diet, so I’ll just have a double order of french fries and a vanilla shake.

ann: Lemonade.

VIrGInIa: That’s one cheeseburger with a lime Coke, double french fries, vanilla shake, one lemonade. I hope I don’t spill anything.

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muffIn: you probably will. (VIRGINIA crosses to DONALD and gives the beverage orders, EXITS to kitchen. DONALD makes the drinks and shake.)

ann: That new waitress doesn’t look competent.

Jane: In that case, we won’t leave her a tip.

muffIn: We never leave a tip. (Three more teenage GIRLS ENTER LEFT, also carrying schoolbooks or bookbags. In personality, they’re the exact opposite of MUFFIN, ANN and JANE. The new arrivals are GRACIE STANLEY, ROSE MARIE FAMIANO and EVELYN WEBBER. [NOTE: During the scene, additional STUDENTS can ENTER individually or in small groups, as desired, so that luncheonette is full of students for big “Rock Around the Block” number later in scene.])

GraCIe: (Excitedly.) I know Louise will go for the idea.

roSe marIe: I dunno.

eVeLyn: Think positive, rose marie. It won’t hurt to ask. (MUFFIN and her friends don’t think much of GRACIE and her friends, but try not to show it, barely.)

JuGHeaD: Hey, Gracie, did you catch that movie down at the Bijou?

GraCIe: I’ve been too busy.

JuGHeaD: How about you, rose marie?

roSe marIe: nope.

JuGHeaD: evelyn?

eVeLyn: I only go to movies that make me cry.

JuGHeaD: How come?

eVeLyn: I’m the sentimental type.

JuGHeaD: Could’ve fooled me.

GraCIe: Hi, muffin, Jane, ann.

TrIo: (Barely audible.) Hello, Gracie. (GRACIE, ROSE MARIE and EVELYN sit at the DOWN LEFT table. EDNA crosses over.)

eDna: What’ll it be?

GraCIe: Three Coca-Colas, I guess. But I have to speak to Louise.

eDna: you mean now? This very minute?

GraCIe: It’s terribly important.

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eVeLyn: you might say it’s urgent.

roSe marIe: Gracie has a wonderful idea.

eVeLyn: This place won’t seem the same without you, edna.

eDna: In a few days I’ll be nothing but a memory.

eVeLyn: (Stifles a sniffle.) oh, that’s so sad.

eDna: (Calls to DONALD.) Three Cokes!

DonaLD: Coming up. (DONALD fills the order. EDNA EXITS to kitchen.)

muffIn: How are the dance plans coming, Gracie?

GraCIe: That’s why I want to speak with Louise.

ann: What’s the mystery?

GraCIe: I don’t like to talk about things until I’m sure they’re going to work out.

muffIn: (Condescending tone.) How practical.

ann: The school gym is a mess. all that remodeling.

Jane: and dust. The gym floor is covered with dust. I’m allergic to dust. (She sneezes.)

JuGHeaD: might be kind of fun. Dancing in dust.

muffIn: you would say something like that, Jughead.

ann: It’s a measure of your intelligence.

JuGHeaD: How would you know?

muffIn: Ignore him, ann.

ann: With pleasure.

LouISe: (ENTERS from kitchen, crosses DOWN CENTER.) edna said you want to speak with me, Gracie.

eVeLyn: She does.

GraCIe: I do. (When DONALD has the drinks for the UP CENTER table ready, he sets them on the counter. VIRGINIA will eventually ENTER from the kitchen carrying a tray. On the tray is an order of French fries, cheeseburger. She sets them out at UP CENTER table, crosses to counter for drinks, returns to table and sets them out.)

LouISe: I’m listening.

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GraCIe: (Stands.) you probably know I’m in charge of this year’s dance committee.

LouISe: I do. Congratulations.

eVeLyn: It’s going to be a Hippity Hop.

LouISe: So?

roSe marIe: We can’t have it in the school gymnasium because it’s all torn up because of remodeling.

LouISe: So?

GraCIe: I thought it would be a sensational idea if we hold the Hippity Hop somewhere else.

LouISe: Where?

GraCIe: Here?

oTHerS: (Not including ROSE MARIE and EVELYN.) Here?!

muffIn: (Shocked.) In a public luncheonette!

ann: Vulgar.

Jane: Common.

JuGHeaD: I think it’s a great idea, Gracie, but there wouldn’t be enough room.

roSe marIe: There would if Louise opened the folding doors to the meeting room.

eVeLyn: yeah, where my dad’s kiwanis club meets every Thursday morning.

muffIn: (Sarcastic.) and I suppose we’ll have to place our orders at the door and pay the cashier as we leave.

GraCIe: That’s not what I had in mind. We’ll have to provide refreshments no matter where the dance is held, so we can use the food budget to purchase ice cream and stuff for everyone here.

JuGHeaD: It sounds great!

muffIn: you would say that.

JuGHeaD: anything to get us away from the school.

GraCIe: Thanks, Jughead.

LouISe: (Thinking it over.) I don’t know what to say.

DonaLD: Say yes. (EDNA ENTERS from kitchen.)

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GraCIe: you wouldn’t have a thing to worry about, Louise. The kids will be on their best behavior, and I already have a crew lined up to clean up after the dance.

LouISe: (Tentative.) I suppose I do owe you kids a favor. you’re my best customers.

GraCIe: (Pleading.) Say it’s okay.

LouISe: I’m not sure.

JuGHeaD: Come on, Louise.

eVeLyn: It’ll be fun.

GraCIe: There’ll be a line of kids around the block.

LouISe: around the block?

roSe marIe: Waiting to get in.

GraCIe: kids will come from everywhere. Just think about it! (MUSIC CUE 2: “Rock Around The Block.” Sings.)They’ll be comin’ from the country,They’ll be movin’ from the burbs.

eVeLyn: (Sings.) They’ll be walkin’ through the city,They’ll be standin’ on the curb.

roSe marIe: (Sings.) They’ll be comin’ ’cross the nationeverywhere in between.

aLL THree: (Sing.) It’ll be the best hippity hopThis town has ever seen.They’ll be movin’ and a-groovin’ till they just can’t stop, everybody’s comin’ to the hippity hop.See ’em on the sidewalk, see ’em in the street,rockin’ and a-rollin’ to the uptown beat.Girlfriends, boyfriends, sister, brother,up one side and down the other,Till they just can’t walk, rock around the block!

JuGHeaD: (Sings.) They’ll be runnin’ down the alley,They’ll be runnin’ through the park.

eDna: (Sings.) They’ll be jumpin’ out of taxis,They’ll be comin’ after dark.

DonaLD: (Sings.) They’ll be crawlin’ from the woodwork,

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risin’ up from the floor.

aLL THree: (Sing.) Droppin’ down from the skylight,

aLL SoLoISTS: They’ll be knockin’ down the door!(The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a duet.)

GIrLS: (Sing. Except MUFFIN, ANN and JANE.)They’ll be movin’ and a-groovin’ till they just can’t stop, everybody’s comin’ to the hippity hop.See ’em on the sidewalk, see ’em in the street,rockin’ and a-rollin’ to the uptown beat.Girlfriends, boyfriends, sister, brother,up one side and down the other,

GuyS: (Sing.) Linin’ up, linin’ up!movin’, an’ a-groovin’, burnin’ up!Linin’ up, linin’ up!movin’, an’ a-groovin’, burnin’ up!Linin’ up, linin’ up!movin’, an’ a-groovin’, all shook up!

aLL: (Sing. Except MUFFIN, ANN and JANE.) Till they just can’t walk,rock around the block!(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

GIrLS: (Sing. Except MUFFIN, ANN and JANE.)They’ll be movin’ and a-groovin’ till they just can’t stop, everybody’s comin’ to the hippity hop.See ’em on the sidewalk, see ’em in the street,rockin’ and a-rollin’ to the uptown beat.Girlfriends, boyfriends, sister, brother,up one side and down the other,

muffIn/ann/Jane: (Sing. With sarcasm.) Dumb! Doo bee doo dumb! Dumb! Shoo bee doo bee, Dumb! Doo bee doo dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo bee,Dumb! Doo bee doo dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo bee, Dumb! Doo bee doo dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo bee,Dumb! Doo bee doo dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo bee,Dumb! Doo bee doo dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo bee...

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GuyS: (Sing.) Linin’ up, linin’ up!movin’, an’ a-groovin’, burnin’ up!Linin’ up, linin’ up!movin’, an’ a-groovin’, burnin’ up!Linin’ up, linin’ up!movin’, an’ a-groovin’, all shook up!

aLL: (Sing. Except MUFFIN, ANN and JANE.) Till they just can’t walk,rock around the block!yeah, yeah, yeah,rock around the block!yeah, yeah, yeah, rock around the block!(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

GIrLS: (Sing. Except MUFFIN, ANN and JANE.)yeah, yeah!yeah, yeah, yeah!

muffIn/ann/Jane: (Sing. With sarcasm.)Shoo bee doo, dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo, dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo, dumb! Dumb!Shoo bee doo, dumb! Dumb!

GuyS: (Sing.) Linin’ up, movin’, an’ a-groovin’,Linin’ up, movin’, an’ a-groovin’,

aLL: (Sing. Except MUFFIN, ANN and JANE.) rock around the block!

LouISe: (At end of song, considers for a moment. [NOTE: EXTRA STUDENTS can come and go, fade into background. They might stay ONSTAGE for next chorus number, but must not distract from the main stage business.]) It does sound like fun.

GraCIe: Then you’ll do it?

LouISe: I don’t see why not.

oTHerS: Hooray!

LouISe: I’d better get back to the kitchen. yesterday I had a grease fire. (She EXITS. VIRGINIA FOLLOWS. EDNA gets Cokes from counter and, with a tray, puts them on the DOWN LEFT table. EXITS into kitchen. JUGHEAD sits at counter. Takes a comic book from his back pocket, reads. DONALD goes behind counter. GRACIE, ROSE MARIE and EVELYN are overjoyed, hug and jump up and down.)

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GraCIe: I knew she’d say yes.

roSe marIe: Isn’t it wonderful?!

eVeLyn: I didn’t think it would be this easy.

roSe marIe: Leave it to Gracie.

muffIn: (Steps to GRACIE.) I can’t imagine where you got this ridiculous idea, Gracie. no one will want to come to a dance held in a... (Searching for the right word, as she looks about.) luncheonette.

ann: It’s such a common idea.

Jane: Vulgar.

roSe marIe: It is not.

eVeLyn: It’s a wonderful idea.

muffIn: I suppose a few freshmen and sophomores might show up. They’d show up for anything. But juniors and seniors? never.

Jane/ann: never, never.

GraCIe: I don’t agree with you.

muffIn: you will when your Hippity Hop trips and falls on its face.

GraCIe: I tell you, the kids will turn out.

muffIn: It’s a stupid idea.

eVeLyn: I suppose you could come up with a better idea?

muffIn: Why not rent a hotel ballroom?

roSe marIe: That would cost money.

muffIn: (Admiring her fingernails.) naturally.

GraCIe: There isn’t enough money in the budget to rent a hotel ballroom.

muffIn: Then perhaps you shouldn’t be head of the dance committee. (GRACIE is seething.)

ann: muffin’s right. If you can’t do a thing properly, why do it at all? That’s what my mother always says.

JuGHeaD: (Without turning.) meow!

GraCIe: you’re wrong, muffin. everyone will turn out.

muffIn: oh? Tell me why?

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GraCIe: (Desperate.) Because... because...

muffIn: I’m listening.

GraCIe: (Frantic.) Because I’ve got a rock star, a real rock star, to perform at the dance.

oTHerS: Huh?

muffIn: I don’t believe you.

GraCIe: It’s true.

muffIn: and who is this rock star?

GraCIe: uh, uh... Ziggy Springer. That’s who.

oTHerS: (Amazed.) Ziggy Springer!

GraCIe: now you’ll change your tune.

muffIn: Why would a big rock star like Ziggy Springer perform at our school dance?

ann: In a luncheonette.

Jane: She’s lying.

roSe marIe: Gracie never lies.

GraCIe: (Defiant.) It just so happens Ziggy Springer is my cousin.

oTHerS: Cousin?!

DonaLD: Ziggy Springer. How I like his sound. (Fast, he comes from behind the counter, takes CENTER and does an Elvis Presley impersonation of ZIGGY, singing a verse a cappela from ZIGGY’S signature tune “Oh, Baby.” JUGHEAD applauds.) How was I?

muffIn: Don’t ask.

ann: you sounded as if you just had your tonsils removed.

GraCIe: I thought you were very good, Donald.

JuGHeaD: me, too.

roSe marIe: you owe Gracie an apology, muffin.

muffIn: and she’ll get one, if and when Ziggy Springer sings in this place. (She laughs, joined by ANN and JANE. They return to their table for the food and drink. DONALD goes behind counter.)

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JuGHeaD: Gotta hand it to you, Donald. for a second or two you sounded just like Ziggy.

DonaLD: only for a second or two? (ROSE MARIE and EVELYN move close to GRACIE. [NOTE: MUFFIN, JANE and ANN remain relatively still as the dialogue plays. Supposedly, they can’t hear what’s being discussed.])

roSe marIe: muffin mansfield is such a snob.

eVeLyn: I didn’t know Ziggy Springer was your cousin.

GraCIe: Distant.

eVeLyn: How distant?

GraCIe: How distant can you get?

roSe marIe: But he did promise to show up at the Hippity Hop?

GraCIe: uh, not exactly.

eVeLyn: What does that mean, “not exactly”?

GraCIe: I haven’t asked him yet. (ROSE MARIE and EVELYN are shocked.)

eVeLyn/roSe marIe: (Shocked.) Haven’t asked him?!

GraCIe: Shhhhhh. I don’t want muffin to overhear. She made me so mad. I had to think of something fast. (GRACIE’S brother, BOB, ENTERS LEFT. He’s distraught.)

BoB: Gracie, I’ve got to talk to you. (Indicates EVELYN and ROSE MARIE.) In private.

eVeLyn: We get the message.

roSe marIe: no one has to hit us over the head with a hammer. (They sit at the DOWN LEFT table, take straws, sip their Cokes. BOB grabs GRACIE by the elbow and moves her DOWN CENTER.)

GraCIe: What’s the matter with you, Bob?

BoB: (Hushed tone.) Has Sinbad Gallucci been around?

GraCIe: Sinbad Gallucci? That creep.

BoB: I wouldn’t tell this to anyone but my sister, but I’m in big trouble.

GraCIe: Has it anything to do with Sinbad Gallucci?

BoB: yeah.

GraCIe: Then you’re in big trouble.

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BoB: you know I can’t resist motorcycles. I love ’em, love ’em, love ’em.

GraCIe: Go on.

BoB: I don’t know what got into me, but I spotted Sinbad’s new Harley-Davidson Sportster, and I took it for a spin.

GraCIe: you didn’t!

BoB: I did. It was so new and shiny. red and black. a big headlight. Quick acceleration. Zoom, zoom. I couldn’t resist my impulse.

GraCIe: I hope Sinbad never finds out you took it for a ride.

BoB: So do I. (Pause.) I smashed it up.

GraCIe: Bob!

BoB: If Sinbad finds out it was me, my days are numbered.

GraCIe: I don’t even want to think about it.

BoB: I’m a nervous wreck. my throat’s gone dry. Hey, Donald, what about a glass of water?

DonaLD: I’ll bite, what about a glass of water?

BoB: Very funny.

GraCIe: messing with Sinbad Gallucci’s motorcycle. How could you be so stupid?

BoB: It must be a chemical imbalance. I don’t have long to live. I can feel it in my bones. Why couldn’t I like hot rods instead of motorcycles? (Goes to counter, sits. DONALD gets him a glass of water. He gulps.)

eVeLyn: What’s the matter, Gracie?

roSe marIe: you look pale.

GraCIe: (Nervously looking to her brother.) oh, it’s nothing. (She sits at table.)

JuGHeaD: Hey, Bob, did you see that movie at the Bijou?

BoB: Don’t talk to me about movies. I’ve got too much on my mind.

DonaLD: Like what?

BoB: (Puts glass on countertop.) a refill. (DONALD gives him a refill and, again, he gulps it down. A basketball bounces IN from LEFT. GIRLS notice. GEORGE BULLOCK ENTERS chasing after it and stands heroically dusting it off with a small brush he takes from his back

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pocket. GIRLS are enchanted. GEORGE is 18, good-looking, wears a varsity jacket. He’s a bit wooden.)

GIrLS: (Sighing.) Hi, George.

GeorGe: Hi, girls. This basketball got away from me. It doesn’t happen often. (Pockets brush.)

muffIn: It certainly doesn’t. everyone says you’re the best basketball player we’ve ever had. even if you are a transfer student.

GeorGe: nice of you to say so, muffin.

muffIn: (Smiles.) Think nothing of it.

roSe marIe: you’re coming to the Hippity Hop, aren’t you, George?

GeorGe: Haven’t given it much thought.

eVeLyn: Thanks to Gracie, we’re going to have it right here.

GeorGe: Where?

Jane: In Louise’s Luncheonette.

ann: Isn’t that gauche?

GeorGe: I think it’s a creative idea. (MUFFIN frowns.)

GraCIe: (Smiles.) Thank you, George.

DonaLD: and Ziggy Springer is going to be here.

GeorGe: Who’s he?

oTHerS: Who’s he?!

JuGHeaD: The rock star.

GeorGe: (Unimpressed.) If you say so.

DonaLD: He’s the greatest.

GeorGe: I don’t listen to music much. If I want to relax, I dribble. (He does so.)

JuGHeaD: Hey, George. Did you see that movie down at the Bijou?

GeorGe: The one with Steve mcQueen?

JuGHeaD: That’s it.

GeorGe: I saw it.

roSe marIe: Why didn’t you say it was the one with Steve mcQueen?

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eVeLyn: What a dreamboat.

GraCIe: We saw it over in mound City last week.

BoB: What was it about?

JuGHeaD: What was it about?! Just read the billboards. (MUSIC CUE 3: “It Was The Blob.” Eager to explain the film, JUGHEAD, GRACIE, ROSE MARIE, EVELYN and GEORGE move CENTER. As the MUSIC STARTS, LOUISE, VIRGINIA and EDNA ENTER from the kitchen. ALL stand. Slowly, with mounting excitement. Speaks.) It’s a giant! It’s a monster! When will it stop?

GraCIe: (Speaks.) They couldn’t believe their eyes!

roSe marIe: (Speaks.) They couldn’t escape the horror!

JuGHeaD: (Quickly pointing to LOUISE, VIRGINIA and EDNA. Speaks.) and neither will you!

eVeLyn: (Speaks.) your flesh will creep at the glob that crawls!

GeorGe: (Speaks.) See teenagers versus the gluttonous alien!

GraCIe: (Speaks.) See a whole town caught in a web of gelatin!

JuGHeaD: (Speaks.) Witness, “The Day The earth Stood Still!” (A shout, imitating famous line from the movie.) klaatu Gort Barrada niktoh!

LouISe: (Speaks.) Wait a minute. That’s from a different movie.

JuGHeaD: (Speaks. Sheepish.) oh, yeah. Well, anyway... (Sings.) It came from outer space, landed in a field,a world-wide threat to the whole human race.

GraCIe: (Sings.) It ate a farmer, a mechanic, a doctor and a nurse,But that was just an appetizer, things got worse.

roSe marIe: (Sings.) It rolled on into town, into a local store,(Speaks in rhythm.) It almost got Steve mcQueen, (Sings.) Wait! There’s more.

eVeLyn: (Sings.) It snuck into a movie house and ate the projectionist.

GeorGe: (Sings.) Then crept into the audience, a true antagonist!

aLL: (Entire luncheonette gang, except SOLOISTS. Speak anxiously.) What was it? What was it?! for Pete’s sake, what was it?!

SoLoISTS: (Sing.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.an icky, sticky, ooey, gooey, chubby, tubby, gummy, gluey, flabby, lumpy, bumpy, hunk o’ jello.

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LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks.) Huh?!

SoLoISTS: (Sing.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.a messy, mushy, goopy, gloppy, gucky, mucky, slushy, sloppy, soggy, sludgy, pudgy hunk o’ jello.

LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks.) yuck!

GraCIe: (Sings.) The crowd began to scream and scurried for the door. Before they could escape, it ate a dozen or more.

roSe marIe: (Sings.) In ran the sheriff to confront this terrifying curse. But little did he know that things would soon get worse.

GeorGe: (Sings.) They scrambled for their lives and knocked each other down. The sheriff barely got away to warn the town.

eVeLyn: (Sings.) Holding back his deputy, the sheriff declared,

JuGHeaD: (Speaks, melodramatic.) “Don’t go in there, Jim. It’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen!”

LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks.) What was it?! What was it?! for Pete’s sake, what was it?!

SoLoISTS: (Sing.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.an icky, sticky, ooey, gooey, chubby, tubby, gummy, gluey, flabby, lumpy, bumpy, hunk o’ jello!

LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks.) egads!

aLL: (Sing.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.a messy, mushy, goopy, gloppy, gucky, mucky, slushy, sloppy, soggy, sludgy, pudgy hunk o’ jello!

LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks.) What next?!

JuGHeaD: (Sings.) It gobbled up a diner with all the folks inside.

GraCIe: (Sings.) They ran into the basement, but they knew they couldn’t hide.

GeorGe: (Sings.) It started down the stairs, now what were they to do?

roSe marIe: (Sings.) That’s when Steve mcQueen discovered Co2.

LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks, almost hysterical.) What happened? What happened? for Pete’s sake, what happened?!

eVeLyn: (Speaks.) It seems that “The Blob” couldn’t stand the cold.

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JuGHeaD: (Speaks.) It started to retreat and wasn’t nearly as bold.

GraCIe: (Speaks.) Steve got on the telephone to tell them what he’d found.

GeorGe: (Speaks.) They brought in extinguishers from all around.

roSe marIe: (Speaks.) They sprayed and sprayed, till it was solid as ice.

eVeLyn: (Speaks.) Then packed it in a crate and followed Steve’s advice.

GraCIe: (Speaks.) They called in the air force to fly it away.

JuGHeaD: (Speaks.) They dropped it in alaska where it still remains today.

LunCHeoneTTe GanG: (Speaks.) Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

aLL: (Sing.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.an icky, sticky, ooey, gooey, chubby, tubby, gummy, gluey, flabby, lumpy, bumpy, hunk o’ jello! (Speak.) egads!(Sing.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.a messy, mushy, goopy, gloppy, gucky, mucky, slushy, sloppy, soggy, sludgy, pudgy hunk o’ jello!(Speak.) yuck!(The following is sung as a duet.)

SoLoISTS/ParT one: (Sing.)It came from outer space, landed in a field,a world-wide threat to the whole human race.It came from outer space, landed in a field,a world-wide threat to the whole human race.

LunCHeoneTTe GanG/ParT TWo: (Sings.)It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.an icky, sticky, ooey, gooey, chubby, tubby, gummy, gluey, flabby, lumpy, bumpy, hunk o’ jello! (Speaks.) egads! (Sings.) It was the Blob, the Blob, a big old glob.a messy, mushy, goopy, gloppy, gucky, mucky, slushy, sloppy, soggy, sludgy, pudgy hunk o’ jello!(Speaks.) yuck!

aLL: (Speak in rhythm, a chant.)The Blob! The Blob! The Blob! The Blob! The Blob! The Blob!(Sing.) It was the Blob!

muffIn: (At end of song, EVERYONE returns to their original position. LOUISE, VIRGINIA and EDNA EXIT to the kitchen. MUFFIN, however,

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steps to GEORGE.) you’ve been keeping a secret from me, George. (GEORGE’S attention is on the basketball. If the actor can spin it on one finger, he does so.)

GeorGe: What makes you say that, muffin? (GRACIE and the other GIRLS watch the conversation with great interest.)

muffIn: you didn’t tell me you had a new road Buick Skylark convertible. That’s my favorite car. Some girls think it’s unfeminine to notice what kind of a car a boy drives, but I don’t. Do you?

GeorGe: (Bounces the ball.) That’s my uncle’s car. He let me borrow it. (JUGHEAD waves good-bye to DONALD, EXITS LEFT to street.)

roSe marIe: Look at that, Gracie. She’s so obvious.

GraCIe: Poor guy, having to put up with a leech like muffin. She doesn’t even know what a nice person he is. He sits next to me in geometry and helps me a lot.

eVeLyn: (Not taking her eyes off MUFFIN and GEORGE, who are continuing a conversation in pantomime.) oh, Gracie, you’ve got to do something!

GraCIe: What would you suggest?

roSe marIe/eVeLyn: Geometry!

GraCIe: (Pulls geometry text from her bookbag and opens it. Studies earnestly for a few seconds, then rises and moves toward table where GEORGE and MUFFIN are conversing.) excuse me, George. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m stumped again. Could you explain a geometry problem to me? (GEORGE hands basketball to MUFFIN, who knows exactly what GRACIE is up to. GEORGE crosses DOWN LEFT with GRACIE to her table. The two peer at the opened book and mime discusion.)

ann: She didn’t need help.

Jane: It was just a cheap attempt to get George’s attention.

muffIn: She’s so obvious. She doesn’t know she’s competing against a pro. (Crosses DOWN LEFT to GRACIE’S table. To GEORGE.) oh, George, I’m so dumb when it comes to sports. I need you to explain some moves to me. (Turns back to GRACIE. Sotto.) nice try, Gracie. Here. (She tosses the basketball to GRACIE. GEORGE would rather stay with GRACIE.)

GeorGe: Well, I...

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muffIn: (Takes his arm. She won’t take no for an answer.) George, did you know I have more cashmere sweaters than any girl in school?

GeorGe: no...

muffIn: (Indicating UP CENTER table.) That’s my table.

GeorGe: (Apologetic.) Could I have my basketball back, Gracie?

GraCIe: Sure. (She hands it over, disappointed.)

Jane: (To MUFFIN.) Where are we supposed to sit?

muffIn: (Indicates DOWN RIGHT table.) over there.

Jane/ann: (Horrified.) By the counter? (Frowning, ANN and JANE cross to DOWN RIGHT table, sit. MUFFIN moves GEORGE UP CENTER to the table, talking as she goes. GRACIE looks on, disappointed.)

muffIn: I’m confused about a pass and I don’t know anything about blocking.

GeorGe: Did you know I practice every afternoon at the y.m.C.a.?

muffIn: Why, no, George, I didn’t. (They sit and, as they do, SINBAD GALLUCCI thunders IN, LEFT. BOB sees him and quickly ducks behind the counter. SINBAD is big and nasty. A combination beatnik-biker. “Wild One” motorcycle gear. Clump boots with studs, dungarees, leather vest, headband, grimy t-shirt, cycle cap. Leather wristbands. Chains. With SINBAD are two beatnik types, RIFF and MISTY. They wear grubby clothing, headbands, sunglasses. Bizarre hairstyles. MISTY carries a tambourine and RIFF a guitar decorated with trailing ribbons. Their arrival is greeted with little enthusiasm. SINBAD could care less.)

SInBaD: all right! Who did it?!

rIff: you heard Sinbad!

mISTy: Peace. (She shakes the tambourine.)

DonaLD: Who did what? (LOUISE ENTERS FROM the kitchen with a frying pan in her hand.)

SInBaD: Some jerk busted up my Harley-Davidson Sportster.

rIff: yeah. Some jerk. (He ripples guitar strings.)

mISTy: Jerk. (Another shake of the tambourine.)

LouISe: I don’t want any trouble from you, Sinbad. I’ve told you that before.

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SInBaD: I never had my Harley-Davidson Sportster busted up before.

rIff: never. (Guitar strings.)

mISTy: (Shakes tambourine.) never.

SInBaD: (Explodes.) Will you two stop with the tambourine and guitar?! Gets on my nerves. Don’t I have enough to worry about?

rIff: Sorry, man.

mISTy: Don’t sweat it, Sinbad.

ann: It’s those awful beatniks. riff and misty.

Jane: I didn’t know they were friends of Sinbad Gallucci.

ann: I didn’t know Sinbad Gallucci had any friends.

SInBaD: I heard that! (GIRLS cringe.)

LouISe: What’s all this about?

SInBaD: Weren’t you listening? my Harley-Davidson Sportster! misty and riff saw some high schooler riding it. He’s the one who busted it up, and when I find him... (He slams a fist into the palm of his other hand. We hear BOB GROAN from behind the counter.)

mISTy: Think beautiful thoughts, man. relax.

rIff: Go with the flow.

LouISe: I suppose you think you’ll find that high schooler in here.

SInBaD: Why not? This is where they hang out. Take a look, misty, riff. Do you see him? (They look about.)

mISTy: nope.

rIff: Don’t see him.

mISTy: Peace.

SInBaD: (Losing his cool.) He’ll show up sooner or later. and when he does... pow!

LouISe: Donald, call the police.

rIff/mISTy: Heat! (DONALD starts to dial. GEORGE stands up with the basketball. He moves to SINBAD.)

GeorGe: Hold on, Donald. (DONALD stops dialing.) I think I can deal with this. (GIRLS sigh.)

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SInBaD: Who are you?

GeorGe: That’s not important. We don’t want to cause any trouble in Louise’s Luncheonette, do we? It would give the place a bad name. you could be hauled away by the police.

SInBaD: for what?

LouISe: for disturbing the peace.

GeorGe: Why don’t you sit down and have a fizz cola or be on your way.

SInBaD: you trying to be funny?

rIff: He’s making sense, man.

mISTy: Go with the flow.

SInBaD: I’ll go. But I’ll be back. and when I do... (RIFF and MISTY pull at him.)

rIff: This place has bad vibes. (He and MISTY manage to pull a protesting SINBAD OFF LEFT. MISTY RETURNS, shakes her tambourine, EXITS again.)

DonaLD: I feel sorry for whoever messed with Sinbad’s bike. (Another GROAN from BOB.)

GraCIe: you handled that nicely, George. (GIRLS applaud.)

GeorGe: It was nothing. (He twirls or dribbles the basketball.)

JuGHeaD: (Runs back IN LEFT.) you ought to see what’s going on across the street!

oTHerS: (Stand.) What?!

JuGHeaD: Little girl’s been working a Hula Hoop for over five hours. It’s like, uh, perpetual motion. She’s never going to stop!

DonaLD: This I got to see! Do you mind, Louise? Just for a sec?

LouISe: Go ahead. I’m sure any new customer we’d get is over there, too. (DONALD EXITS for street. So do JUGHEAD, ANN and JANE. MUFFIN pulls GEORGE away. LOUISE EXITS to kitchen. BOB creeps out from behind the counter and EXITS quickly DOWN RIGHT. As EVELYN and ROSE MARIE move LEFT, they notice GRACIE isn’t following. She stands DOWN CENTER, lost in her thoughts.)

eVeLyn: aren’t you coming, Gracie?

roSe marIe: She could be establishing a world record.

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GraCIe: you go along. (EVELYN and ROSE MARIE step to her.)

eVeLyn: I bet I know what you’re worrying about.

roSe marIe: me, too.

TrIo: Ziggy Springer.

eVeLyn: What are you going to do?

GraCIe: There’s only one thing I can do.

eVeLyn: Cancel the Hippity Hop?

GraCIe: of course not. I’d never do that.

roSe marIe: What are you going to do about Ziggy?

GraCIe: The only thing I can do. When Ziggy is in town for his concert at the auditorium Saturday night, I’ll be there.

eVeLyn: Blood is thicker than water.

GraCIe: Don’t say that. Blood makes me think of Sinbad Gallucci and my brother.

JuGHeaD: (Runs back IN.) you don’t know what you’re missing. What are you waiting for? She’s fantastic. (He runs OUT. GIRLS move LEFT.)

GraCIe: He’s thinking about Hula Hoops, and I’m thinking about Ziggy.

end of Scene Two

[noTe: The CurTaIn CLoSeS at this point. If you’re not using a curtain, then the luncheonette should be in DarkneSS for the next scene.]

aCT oneScene Three

In the darkness, we hear the SCreamInG of TeenaGe GIrLS.

LIGHTS uP on foreSTaGe: There’s a crowd of screaming TeenaGerS standing DoWn rIGHT. LennIe kInG, ZIGGy’S manager, enTerS foreSTaGe from DoWn LefT, waving his arms for silence.

LennIe: (To TEENS.) all right, all right. Calm down, calm down. one more encore and that’s it. (SOUND OF DISAPPOINTMENT.) you won’t be disappointed when you hear what it is. The song that makes the heart of every Teen Queen beat faster. (Gestures for ZIGGY to appear.) Let’s hear it, Ziggy. “oh, Baby!” (SCREAMS, APPLAUSE. If

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you are using a CURTAIN, a SPOTLIGHT HITS CENTER and ZIGGY STEPS THROUGH, microphone in hand. Flashy jacket. If there’s no curtain, ZIGGY BOUNCES onto FORESTAGE from OFFSTAGE, DOWN RIGHT. Immediately following ZIGGY, but not in spotlight, are optional BACKUP GIRLS. LENNIE EXITS DOWN LEFT. MUSIC CUE 4: “Oh, Baby!”)

ZIGGy: (Sings.) oh, baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!

BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!



ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) She rocks when she rolls, Wop! Doorolls when she rocks, Wop! Doom-m-m-m-my baby Wop!makes my heart go

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) Tick-tock!

ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) She’s lookin’ real good, ooo,Lookin’ real fine,Gives me itty bitty chills Wah-ooo,up ’n’ down my spine.She wiggles when she walks, Wop, wah-oooGiggles when she talks,I’m hopin’ and a-prayin’ Wah-ooo!That she’ll be mine.

ZIGGy: (Speaks in rhythm.) Ba-ba-baby!

Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (Speak, hopeful.) yes?!

ZIGGy: (Speaks in rhythm.) Ba-ba-ba-baby!

Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (Speak, ever hopeful.) yes?!

ZIGGy: (Sings.) Ba-ba-ba-baby, baby, baby!

Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (A scream, swooning.) aaaaa!




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ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.)She rocks when she rolls, Wop! Doorolls when she rocks, Wop! Doom-m-m-m-my baby Wop!makes my heart go


ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.)She’s lookin’ real nice, ooo,I’m tellin’ no lie,She’s my honey bunny, Wah-ooorama lama, cutie pie.She wiggles when she walks, Wop, wah-ooo,Giggles when she talks,my blood’s about to boil, Wah-ooo!now I gotta reply

ZIGGy: (Speaks in rhythm.) Ba-ba-baby!

Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (Speak, hopeful.) yes?!

ZIGGy: (Speaks in rhythm.) Ba-ba-ba-baby!

Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (Speak, ever hopeful.) yes?!

ZIGGy: (Sings.) Ba-ba-ba-baby, baby, baby!

Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (A scream, swooning.) aaaaa!(Dance interlude. ZIGGY and BACKUP GIRLS dance with members of the TEEN AUDIENCE. At the conclusion of the dance, ZIGGY and GIRLS return to the STAGE.)

ZIGGy: (Speaks.) all right, everybody help me out now. Put your hands together just one time. (ALL clap on beat two and four, ZIGGY encourages AUDIENCE to join in.) That’s it, that’s it. ah, you’re lookin’ good.

ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) my baby’s got me sweatin’ turnin’ Bop, bop!

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) Inside out!

ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) my mouth is hangin’ open but I Bop, bop!

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) Just can’t shout!

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ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) my body won’t move when the Bop, Bop!

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) Girl’s aroun’,

ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) Got me reelin’, got me feelin’ like Bop, bop!

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing. ZIGGY sings additional words in parentheses.) (I’m) upside down.(my) knees start shakin’.(I’m) sizzlin’ like bacon.(my) liver’s all a-quiver.(and I’m) meltin’ like butter!(my) nerves are a-hoppin’,eyes are a-poppin’Can’t hardly talk,(I just) stammer and a-stutter!

ZIGGy: (Speaks in rhythm.) Ba-ba-baby!Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (Speak, hopeful.) yes?!ZIGGy: (Speaks in rhythm.) Ba-ba-ba-baby!Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (Speak, ever hopeful.) yes?!ZIGGy: (Sings.) Ba-ba-ba-baby, baby, baby!Teen auDIenCe GIrLS: (A scream, swooning.) aaaaa!ZIGGy: (Sings.) oh, baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby! ZIGGy: (Sing.) oh, baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sings.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-

ba-baby!ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.)

She rocks when she rolls, Wop! Doorolls when she rocks, Wop! Doom-m-m-m-my baby Wop!makes my heart go

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.) Tick-tock!ZIGGy: (Sings.) Baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!ZIGGy: (Sings.) oh, baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!

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BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!

ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.) She rocks when she rolls, Wop! Doorolls when she rocks, Wop! Doom-m-m-m-my baby Wop!makes my heart go

ZIGGy/BaCkuP GIrLS/Teen auDIenCe: (Sing.) Tick-tock!

ZIGGy: (Speaks, a shout.) oh, yeah!!

BeVerLy’S VoICe: (At end of song, TEEN AUDIENCE screams and applauds. ZIGGY waves, runs OFF, DOWN RIGHT. OPTIONAL SPOTLIGHT OUT. APPLAUSE, SCREAMING FADE. VOICES from OFFSTAGE, DOWN LEFT.) I tell you, you can’t see him.

GraCIe’S VoICe: (From OFF LEFT.) I have to see him.

BeVerLy’S VoICe: (From OFF LEFT.) no way. Hey, come back here. (GRACIE runs IN from DOWN LEFT, nervously looks about for ZIGGY. BEHIND her is LENNIE’S secretary, BEVERLY GRIFFITH. Glasses, clipboard.)

GraCIe: Where is he?

BeVerLy: none of your business. How’d you get past security?

GraCIe: I’ve got to see him.

BeVerLy: you and a million other bobbysoxers. (Gestures LEFT.) The exit’s this way. Let’s not waste time arguing.

GraCIe: He’ll see me. I know he’ll see me.

BeVerLy: What makes you so sure?

GraCIe: We’re related.

BeVerLy: I’ve heard that before. Look, kid, I don’t want trouble, but if you don’t go quietly—

LennIe: (ENTERS, rubbing his hands together.) Sensational show tonight. We couldn’t have squeezed in another fan if we tried. (Notices GRACIE.) Who’s this?

BeVerLy: Says she’s related to Ziggy.

GraCIe: I am.

LennIe: How’d she get past security?

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BeVerLy: That’s what I’d like to know.

GraCIe: We’re cousins, sort of.

LennIe: Be a nice kid and get lost, and I’ll mail you an autographed photo of Ziggy. I’ve got influence. I’m his manager and this is my personal secretary, miss Griffith.

GraCIe: I don’t want an autographed photo of Ziggy.

LennIe: What are you saying?

BeVerLy: every bobbysoxer in america wants an autographed photo of Ziggy Springer.

GraCIe: If you’ll just let me talk to him.

BeVerLy: She must be a nut case.

LennIe: Could be dangerous. remember what happened in Chicago?

BeVerLy: Don’t remind me. Let’s get rid of her. (She and LENNIE each take one of GRACIE’S arms and begin to usher her out, LEFT.)

GraCIe: What are you doing?

LennIe: If you don’t go quietly, I’ll call security.

GraCIe: Let go of me. Let go! (Calls over her shoulder.) Ziggy! Ziggy! (ZIGGY ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. He’s wearing a bathrobe and wiping the back of his neck with a towel.)

ZIGGy: What’s going on?

BeVerLy: nothing to worry about.

LennIe: Beverly and I have everything under control.

ZIGGy: over-zealous fan?

GraCIe: I am not. Ziggy, I’m your cousin.

ZIGGy: Cousin?

GraCIe: (Breaks free and moves to ZIGGY.) my mother is your mother’s second cousin. That makes you my third cousin. I think. or maybe I’m your second cousin once removed.

ZIGGy: What’s your name?

GraCIe: Stanley. Gracie Stanley. from Livermore.

ZIGGy: Stanley. Hmmmmm. That does ring a bell.

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BeVerLy: That’s not surprising. This girl is obviously a ding-dong.

GraCIe: I’m no such thing.

ZIGGy: (Snaps his fingers.) Stanley. Livermore. Is your mother’s name alice?

GraCIe: yes! yes!

ZIGGy: Then we are related. nice to meet you, Gracie.

BeVerLy: How do you like that?

LennIe: I’m not sure I do.

ZIGGy: anything I can do for you, Gracie? Would you like an autographed picture?

GraCIe: It’s rather private. (Looks to BEVERLY and LENNIE.)

ZIGGy: Get lost.

BeVerLy: (To ZIGGY.) We’ll be close, in case you need us. (Reluctantly, they EXIT, DOWN LEFT.)

ZIGGy: (Drapes towel around his neck.) I’m listening.

GraCIe: (Talking fast.) I’m in charge of the high school dance in Livermore and we’re holding it in a luncheonette because the gymnasium is being remodeled. (We see LENNIE’S and BEVERLY’S heads come INTO VIEW DOWN LEFT. They’re eavesdropping. Neither ZIGGY nor GRACIE sees them.)

ZIGGy: Slow down. you’ll run out of breath.

GraCIe: I, well...

ZIGGy: uh-huh?

GraCIe: muffin mansfield and some of the girls said the Hippity Hop would be a big flop, and I got carried away. I told them it would be a big success because you’d be there. I know I shouldn’t’ve done that, Ziggy, but I couldn’t help myself. (BEVERLY and LENNIE react.)

ZIGGy: Hey, hey, Gracie. I understand. either I show up or you’ll end up with egg on your face.

GraCIe: That’s about it.

ZIGGy: I’d like to see Livermore.

GraCIe: you mean you’ll do it?

ZIGGy: What are relatives for?

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GraCIe: oh, Ziggy! (Impulsively, she throws her arms around his neck and kisses him.) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

ZIGGy: Tell you what, cousin. Let’s have a hamburger across the street. The owner closes the place to the public just for me.

GraCIe: I can’t tell you what this means to me, Ziggy.

ZIGGy: I like to hear about relatives. It’s comforting. (GRACIE can hardly believe her good fortune. ZIGGY motions RIGHT and GRACIE EXITS.) family ties are important. (ZIGGY EXITS. BEVERLY and LENNIE come out INTO FULL VIEW.)

BeVerLy: Ziggy Springer performing in a luncheonette. for no pay. now I’ve heard everything. you’re not going to let him do it, are you?

LennIe: of course not. you’ll call his cousin and tell her Ziggy has laryngitis. Besides, you know how he is. By tomorrow he’ll have forgotten his promise.

BeVerLy: True. I want to have a word with security.

LennIe: That makes two of us. (They EXIT DOWN LEFT and, as they do, the CURTAINS OPEN or the LIGHTS COME UP FULL on Louise’s Luncheonette.)

end of Scene Three

aCT oneScene four

aT rISe: Louise’s Luncheonette. DonaLD is behind the counter, wiping glasses, as usual. eDna is wiping the DoWn LefT table. VIrGInIa is sweeping the floor.

VIrGInIa: Do you really think it’s true?

eDna: What?

VIrGInIa: Half the kids say Ziggy Springer will be at the Hippity Hop and half say he won’t.

DonaLD: I wonder if Ziggy really is Gracie’s cousin?

eDna: I don’t think Gracie would lie about something like that. She’s a good kid.

VIrGInIa: muffin mansfield is just waiting for her to flop.

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eDna: It would be a great memory to leave town with. Ziggy Springer at Louise’s Luncheonette.

DonaLD: oh, baby!

eDna: I thought you said we needed more chocolate syrup.

DonaLD: right. I’ll get it from the storeroom. Cover the counter if anyone comes in.

eDna: Sure. (DONALD EXITS DOWN RIGHT.)

VIrGInIa: maybe he’ll play a concert in Detroit.

eDna: It wouldn’t be the same as seeing him up close.

offICer moore: (ENTERS LEFT from street.) afternoon, girls.

eDna/VIrGInIa: Hi, officer moore.

offICer moore: Is Louise about?

VIrGInIa: She’s in the kitchen. Want me to get her?

offICer moore: Please. (VIRGINIA EXITS UP RIGHT to kitchen.)

eDna: Want a Coca-Cola?

offICer moore: no, thanks. makes me burp. I hear your father’s going to be working on something called the edsel.

eDna: That’s what he says.

offICer moore: maybe I’ll buy one. I need a new car.

LouISe: (ENTERS UP RIGHT from kitchen.) you wanted to see me, officer moore?

offICer moore: afternoon, Louise.

LouISe: Is something wrong?

offICer moore: nothing serious. I understand there was a bit of trouble in here the other day.

LouISe: Trouble? (EDNA stops to listen.)

offICer moore: Sinbad Gallucci.

LouISe: oh, that.

eDna: It was nothing much. George Bullock smoothed the waters.

offICer moore: I’m always interested in what Sinbad’s up to. He’s a bad customer.

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LouISe: In more ways than one. I let him know he’s not welcome in here if he behaves badly.

offICer moore: Sinbad Gallucci always behaves badly. He still hanging out with those beatniks?

eDna: riff and misty.

offICer moore: yeah.

eDna: I always see them together.

offICer moore: If they cause you any trouble, you let me know.

LouISe: oh, I will. I appreciate your concern.

offICer moore: It’s my job.

LouISe: How about a hamburger?

offICer moore: Hmmm. I might be tempted by a cheeseburger. But I’ll eat it in the kitchen. I don’t want to scare away any of your customers.

LouISe: I’m expecting mrs. nicholson any moment, edna.

eDna: Come along, officer moore. you’ll like the way I cook cheeseburgers. I flip them over twice. (EXITS to kitchen. OFFICER MOORE follows. At the same instant, the owner of the building, MRS. NICHOLSON, ENTERS LEFT. She wears a floral print dress and a fussy hat, carries a large handbag. No-nonsense type.)

LouISe: mrs. nicholson. I just this second said you’d be here any moment. How about a soda?

mrS. nICHoLSon: I never eat sweets. Bad for the complexion.

LouISe: Please. Sit down. (Indicates DOWN LEFT table. MRS. NICHOLSON sits.)

mrS. nICHoLSon: I have a couple of things to say, but I dislike talking on the telephone. Talking face to face is more personal.

LouISe: I agree.

mrS. nICHoLSon: you’re not going to like what I have to say.

LouISe: oh?

mrS. nICHoLSon: your lease is up in a few weeks, and I may not renew it.

LouISe: (Shocked.) mrs. nicholson!

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mrS. nICHoLSon: you pay a very modest rent. you’ll have to admit that.

LouISe: It’s all I can afford.

mrS. nICHoLSon: I’m a businesswoman and I have to think of my profit. There’s a dry cleaner who wants this location.

LouISe: a dry cleaner!

mrS. nICHoLSon: I thought I’d give you fair warning. The other thing...

LouISe: yes?

mrS. nICHoLSon: I understand the students from the high school are planning to hold a dance in here.

LouISe: a Hippity Hop.

mrS. nICHoLSon: They can forget it. I won’t allow it. noise, complaints from neighbors, possible damage to the floor.

LouISe: But I’ve already given my word.

mrS. nICHoLSon: you shouldn’t have.

LouISe: They can’t use the school gymnasium. It’s all torn up.

mrS. nICHoLSon: That’s none of my concern. I’ve said what I came to say. (Stands.) remember, no Hippity Hop. I’ll be on my way. (She EXITS LEFT. VIRGINIA ENTERS from kitchen.)

LouISe: (To herself.) What am I going to do?

VIrGInIa: Something wrong, Louise?

LouISe: mrs. nicholson said she might not renew my lease.

VIrGInIa: That’s terrible.

LouISe: It gets worse. She said the Hippity Hop can’t be held here.

VIrGInIa: But the kids are counting on it. What will Gracie say?

LouISe: Don’t say anything to her. I’ll break the news at the right moment. (SOUND OF APPROACHING STUDENT VOICES, excited, from OFFSTAGE LEFT.)

STuDenTS: (Ad lib.) Then it’s true?Imagine.It’s definite?Ziggy Springer.Wow.

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(STUDENTS ENTER, led by GRACIE. She carries a schoolbook. GRACIE appears quite self-assured and happy. LOUISE and VIRGINIA step to counter.)

GraCIe: I don’t know why everyone’s so excited. I told you Ziggy would do it. I’m his favorite cousin.

muffIn: Well, I, for one, still don’t believe it.

Jane: I don’t believe it, either.

ann: Same here.

BoB: Spoilsports.

GeorGe: I believe it and I didn’t even know who he was.

GraCIe: Thank you, George.

muffIn: I’ll believe it when I see Ziggy with my own eyes. (DONALD ENTERS FROM DOWN RIGHT with a can of syrup, steps behind counter.)

GraCIe: How’s this for proof? (She steps to DOWN LEFT table, puts down the book and takes out a glossy photograph, supposedly of ZIGGY.)

Jane: What is it?

GraCIe: a signed photograph with an inscription. read the inscription, George.

GeorGe: (Takes photograph, reads.) “for my Dear Cousin Gracie from Ziggy Springer. See you at the Hippity Hop.”

STuDenTS: Wow!

LouISe: (Puts her hand to her forehead.) I don’t feel so good.

muffIn: anyone could have written that.

ann: of course.

BoB: Give it a rest, muffin. (STUDENTS get more and more excited.)

roSe marIe: I know what we can do. We can put up a banner that says: “Welcome Ziggy Springer.” (With a moan, LOUISE EXITS DOWN RIGHT.)

eVeLyn: We can get our pictures taken with Ziggy!

GraCIe: It’s going to be the best dance party Livermore High ever had.

GeorGe: It certainly sounds like it, Gracie.

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GraCIe: Thank you, George. (To ALL in luncheonette.) Well, whaddaya say, gang?

aLL: Bop-a-lu-bop! (MUSIC CUE 5: “Bop-A-Lu-Bop Dance Party.” EVERYONE from the kitchen ENTERS and joins in. MUFFIN, ANN and JANE get caught up in the spirit of the song, join in. EDNA, even though she knows the Hippity Hop is doomed, joins in, too. A shout. ) rock and roll!(Sing.) Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, dance party,rock and roll is on its way!Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, dance party,rock and roll is here to stay!all the cats and the chicksGonna get their kicks tonight.Gonna rock and roll till next December,Gonna be a party to remember!Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, dance party,rock and roll is on its way!Gonna show my moves,Gotta groove till I get it right.I’m blastin’ off, the smoke’s a-risin’,ready for some crazy improvisin’!

(Speak in rhythm.) Be bop a lula, changity chang,rama lama lama, doodle lang doo lang,Gonna swing my baby all across that room.Sha na na na na na na na, boom, sh-boom,Shoo bee doo bee doo bee doo bee, doo dot dow,Ding-a ding-a ding-a dong, papa oo mau mau,Gonna party all night with the high school gang,oo-ee, ting tang, walla walla bing bang!

(Sing.) Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, bop,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, dance party,rock and roll is here to stay!

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CHoruS one: (Sings.) CHoruS TWo: (Sings.) Bop-a-lu-bop, Be bop a lula, Bop, bop, Changity chang Bop-a-lu-bop, rama lama lama, Bop, bop, Doodle lang doo lang. Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, Sha na na na na na na na, Dance party Boom sh-boom

aLL: (Sing.) rock and roll is on its way!

CHoruS one: (Sings.) CHoruS TWo: (Sings.) Bop-a-lu-bop, Shoo bee doo bee doo bee doo beeBop, bop, Doo dot dow.Bop-a-lu-bop, Ding-a-ding-a ding-a dong,Bop, bop, Papa oo mau mau,Bop-a-lu-bop, bop, oo-ee, ting tang, Dance party, Walla walla bing bang!

aLL: (Sing.) rock and roll is here to stay!(Speak in rhythm.) Bop-a-lu! Bop-a-lu! (Sing.) Bop-a-lu-bop!

enD of aCT one

aCT TWoScene one

muSIC Cue 6: “entr’acte.”

LIGHTS uP on foreSTaGe: JuGHeaD and BoB enTer DoWn LefT.

JuGHeaD: (Unnerved.) yipes! I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

BoB: I’m only telling you because you’re my friend. What are friends for? (They cross CENTER on FORESTAGE.)

JuGHeaD: Does anyone else know?

BoB: Just my sister. Gracie won’t say anything.

JuGHeaD: you hope. I’m sorry you told me. (Incredulous.) Smashing up Sinbad Gallucci’s Harley-Davidson. man, you like to live dangerously.

BoB: Don’t tell anyone else. I don’t want the word to get around.

JuGHeaD: That’s understandable. Sinbad Gallucci takes no prisoners. (Shivers.) Just thinking about him gives me the jitters. I’ve got to get out of here. (He starts to EXIT RIGHT.)

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BoB: Where are you going?

JuGHeaD: What does it matter? I don’t think it’s such a good idea to be seen with you.

BoB: I thought you were my friend.

JuGHeaD: When it comes to Sinbad Gallucci, I don’t have any friends. (EXITS RIGHT.)

BoB: (Calls after him.) I won’t lend you any more comics! and I just got the latest issue of Spiderman! The cover isn’t even torn. (MUFFIN, ANN and JANE ENTER LEFT. They carry schoolbooks. They’ve heard BOB shout after JUGHEAD.)

muffIn: Bob Stanley, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

BoB: How come?

muffIn: a boy your age reading comic books.

ann: It’s so common.

Jane: Infantile.

BoB: you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve got the best comic book collection in town. It’ll be worth big money some day. (GIRLS laugh.)

muffIn: you ought to read something more uplifting.

BoB: Like what?

TrIo: William Shakespeare.

ann: We’re studying him in english class.

BoB: you’ve got to be kidding. William Shakespeare! Give me Spiderman and Captain marvel any day. Hey, Jughead. Wait up. (EXITS RIGHT. GIRLS move CENTER.)

muffIn: I pity the girl who marries Bob Stanley. She’ll want to go out dancing, and he’ll want to stay home and read stupid comic books.

Jane: any girl who marries him would probably want to stay home and read stupid comic books.

muffIn: I suppose.

ann: I heard Bob and Jughead are joining the service when they graduate. Doesn’t that give you a sense of security? (They giggle.)

muffIn: forget about Bob and Jughead. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens tonight.

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Jane: you mean at the Hippity Hop?

muffIn: I don’t mean at the Bijou. I can’t wait for that moment when Ziggy Springer doesn’t show up, and Gracie has to admit she lied.

ann: I wonder what George Bullock will think of her then?

muffIn: She’ll be the school laughingstock. (They laugh.)

SInBaD’S VoICe: (From OFF LEFT.) When I get my hands on that guy...!

rIff’S VoICe: (From OFF LEFT.) Justice will be done.

mISTy’S VoICe: (From OFF LEFT.) I don’t approve of violence. (SOUND OF TAMBOURINE. GIRLS react, look LEFT.)

Jane: Look. It’s Sinbad Gallucci and those awful beatniks.

ann: riff and misty.

TrIo: ugh.

Jane: I bet Sinbad is headed straight for the electric chair.

ann: Prison, even.

Jane: So young, so bad.

muffIn: Let’s get out of here before they see us.

ann: They’re nothing but juvenile delinquents. (GIRLS hurriedly EXIT DOWN RIGHT.)

SInBaD: (ENTERS LEFT, followed by RIFF and MISTY.) you sure you haven’t seen the guy yet?

rIff: Would I lie to you, Sinbad?

SInBaD: you might. I don’t trust nobody.

mISTy: you get too excited, Sinbad. Be cool. Go with the flow.

SInBaD: I got a right to get excited. my beautiful Harley, broken.

rIff: maybe that guy will be at the Hippity Hop tonight.

SInBaD: I’m counting on it. We’ll be there. and when I find him... pow!

mISTy: I’m worried about something else.

SInBaD/rIff: What?

mISTy: my mother’s been giving me a hard time. She wants me to get a job and stop being a beatnik.

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SInBaD: Stop being a beatnik? That’s cruel and unusual punishment.

rIff: (Horrified.) a job! That’s disgusting.

SInBaD: only squares work. Besides, we’re rebels. Why can’t people understand that?

mISTy: Because they’re squares, man. and squares just don’t get it. (MUSIC CUE 7: “Rebel With A Cause.”)

SInBaD: (Sings.) I’m a rebel with a cause, ain’t no doubt,James Dean eat your rebel heart out.I go where I want, just me and my bike,Do what I want any time I like.They call me a “wild one,” I’m hip to the jive,you won’t ever catch me doing nine-to-five.The beat generation is what I’m about.The whole wide world’s gonna hear me shout.I’m a rebel! a rebel with a cause.Gonna turn this country upside down.Spread the word all over town,I’ll be comin’ around, the rebel with a cause!oh, yeah.

mISTy: (Sings.) I’m a rebel with a cause, the beatnik type,an american Bohemian, it ain’t no hype.

rIff: (Sings.) Got my ax, a hot plate, it ain’t so bad,a few jazz records in a low-rent pad.Call me a bum, call me a slob,Don’t need no bread, don’t want no job.

mISTy: (Sings.) The beat generation is what I’m about,The whole wide world’s gonna hear me shout.

SInBaD/mISTy/rIff: (Sing.) I’m a rebel! a rebel with a cause.Gonna turn this country upside down.Spread the word all over town,I’ll be comin’ around, the rebel with a cause!oh, yeah. (ALL THREE begin snapping their fingers to the beat.)

SInBaD: (Speaks.) Dig it, man we’re the Beat Generation. Like... I ain’t The Great Pretender and I ain’t no square. and I’ll tell ya this, (Holding up his hand to AUDIENCE to show ring.) I wouldn’t be caught dead without my Captain midnight Decoder ring. I’m a rabble-rouser and proud of it.

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mISTy: (Speaks.) yeah, man. and like... we love everything... Dobie Gillis, The Big Ten, rock and roll, Zen, apple pie, eisenhower... even Beaver Cleaver, man... we dig it all!

rIff: (Speaks.) and like, sometimes when I’m feelin’ down... like “Cathy’s Clown,” I think, hey man, it’s okay, ’cause you got “a Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ on.” That’s right! I’m “Splishin’ ’n’ Splashin,” I’m “rockin’ With robin,” I’m “feelin’ real lose like a long-necked goose.” “yakkety yak,” I will talk back! and when it comes right down to it, I’m savin’ “The Last Dance for me!”

SInBaD/mISTy/rIff: (Sing.)I’m a rebel! a rebel with a cause.Gonna turn this country upside down.Spread the word all over town,I’ll be comin’ around, the rebel with a cause!Don’t need applause, hip, hip hoorahs,Broohahas, or oohs and ahs,I’ll be comin’ around,The rebel with a cause! oh, yeah.

aLL: (Speak in a monotone and snapping fingers to the beat.) freedom of speech we do defend. The end! (BLACKOUT.)

end of Scene one

aCT TWoScene Two

LIGHTS uP: Louise’s Luncheonette. Some decorative touches have been added during the InTermISSIon. Balloons, crepe paper and a big sign or banner reading: “WeLCome ZIGGy SPrInGer.” eXTra STuDenTS (CHoruS) fill back of luncheonette, remaining unobtrusively uPSTaGe. VIrGInIa and eDna are talking at the counter.

VIrGInIa: I feel so sorry for Louise. She’s afraid to come out of the kitchen. She’s been hiding in there all day. afraid to face Gracie and the kids.

eDna: She’ll have to tell them pretty soon. The Hippity Hop’s only a few hours away.

VIrGInIa: you can’t invite a big star like Ziggy Springer and then tell him, “Sorry, the dance has been cancelled.”

eDna: It would be a black mark on Livermore High. Gracie would never recover.

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VIrGInIa: If only mrs. nicholson were out of town.

eDna: What did you just say?

VIrGInIa: I said, if only mrs. nicholson were out of town.

eDna: That’s a great idea!

VIrGInIa: What is?

eDna: We could call up mrs. nicholson and say her brother is ill and to come fast.

VIrGInIa: Does she have a brother?

eDna: Lives over in Brewster.

VIrGInIa: That’s three hundred miles.

eDna: all the better. She’ll be gone until tomorrow morning, at the earliest.

VIrGInIa: What happens when she finds out she’s been tricked?

eDna: We can worry about that later.

VIrGInIa: What about Louise?

eDna: We’ll tell her mrs. nicholson called and said she changed her mind, and it’s okay to have the dance.

VIrGInIa: What if it doesn’t work?

eDna: It has to work. for Ziggy.

VIrGInIa: I hope Ziggy appreciates what we’re doing for him.

DonaLD: (ENTERS from DOWN RIGHT, steps behind the counter. To EDNA.) Hey, edna, I heard your father is helping to design a new car for ford motor Company.

eDna: That’s right.

DonaLD: yeah. I was reading about it in “automotive magazine.”

VIrGInIa: What did it say?

DonaLD: Said it’s going to be the best car ever released. everybody’s gonna want it. It’s going to be the car of the future.

eDna: Did you know it’s named after Henry ford’s son?

VIrGInIa: I bet it’s cool. (MUSIC CUE 8: “Edsel.” EXTRA STUDENTS from UPSTAGE move forward.)

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eDna: (Speaks.) It is and then some.

DonaLD: (Speaks.) Sure would be nice to own a car like that.

VIrGInIa: (Speaks. Wishful.) yeah.

eDna: (Speaks. Dreaming.) I can see me now... (The following TWO STANZAS are sung under dialogue.)

LunCHeoneTTe GIrLS: (Speak in rhythm.)Ssssslick! Honk! Honk!Sssssuper! Honk! Honk!Ssssstyle! Honk! Honk!Sssssassy! Honk! Honk!

LunCHeoneTTe GuyS: (Sing.) Varoom! Varoom!Got my ride and I’m drivin’ it home.Varoom! Varoom!Got my ride and I’m drivin’ it home.Varoom! Varoom!

eDna: (Speaks a la car salesperson.) elegance.

VIrGInIa: (Speaks.) originality.

DonaLD: (Speaks.) The most beautiful thing that ever happened to horsepower.

eDna: (Speaks.) Step out of the ordinary and into the car of the year.

VIrGInIa: (Speaks.) a car that clearly says “you’re going places.”

DonaLD: (Speaks.) yes, they’ll know you’ve arrived when they see what you drive.

aLL: (Sing.) Got my ride and I’m drivin’ it home.(The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a duet.)

eDna/ParT one: (Sings.)I drive an edsel, the car of the future.every parent’s gonna buy one.every daughter and sonWill wanna drive it, too.They got a ranger, a Pacer,The Citation’s a racer,a bargain just for you.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.

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LunCHeoneTTe GuyS/ParT TWo: (Sing.) Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm!I drive an edsel! Dm dm.Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm,I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Dm, dm.(The following FOUR STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

DonaLD/ParT one: (Sings.)I drive an edsel,The car of tomorrow.all the poor, the millionairesthe hip ’n’ the squaresWill wanna own one, too.

eDna anD DonaLD/ParT one ConTInueD: (Sing.)Come be the first on the block,To invest in some stock,Gonna make you rich, you’ll see.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.

LunCHeoneTTe GIrLS/ParT TWo: (Sing.)Sha la la la. Sha la la la.Sha la la la. Sha la la la.Sha la la la. Sha la la la.Sha la la la. Sha la la la.I drive an edsel, sha la,Sha la la la,Sha la la la. Sha la la.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.

LunCHeoneTTe GuyS/ParT THree: (Sing.)Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm!I drive an edsel! Dm dm.Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!

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Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm,I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Dm, dm.(The following TWO STANZAS are sung under dialogue.)

LunCHeoneTTe GIrLS: (Speak in rhythm.)Ssssslick! Honk! Honk!Ssssstunning! Honk! Honk!Ssssstately! Honk! Honk!Sssssassy! Honk! Honk!


VIrGInIa: (Speaks, a la car salesperson.) The power, the handling.

DonaLD: (Speaks.) 345 horsepower.

eDna: (Speaks.) automatic transmission with teletouch drive.

VIrGInIa: (Speaks.) and that classic vertical grill.

DonaLD: (Speaks.) Drivers will spot you coming from a block away.

eDna: (Speaks.) This is the way to travel.

VIrGInIa: (Speaks.) This is the way to look at the world.

aLL THree: (Speak.) yes, folks, the edsel will steal the show wherever you go!

aLL: (Sing.) Got my ride and I’m drivin’ it home!(The following FIVE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

VIrGInIa/ParT one: (Sings.)I drive an edsel,The car of the cent’ry,an economical deal.you may find it’s a steal,If you shop around.

eDna anD VIrGInIa/ParT one ConTInueD: (Sing.)yes, I’ll be drivin’ in styleCruisin’ mile after mile,Sittin’ low in the driver’s seat.

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eDna anD VIrGInIa anD DonaLD/ParT one ConTInueD: (Sing.)I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.

LunCHeoneTTe GIrLS/ParT TWo: (Sing.)Sha la la la. Sha la la la.Sha la la la. Sha la la la.Sha la la la. Sha la la la.Sha la la la. Sha la la la.I drive an edsel. Sha la,Sha la la la,Sha la la la. Sha la la.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Sha la la.

LunCHeoneTTe GuyS/ParT THree: (Sing.)Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm!I drive an edsel! Dm dm.Diggi dm, diggi dm, varoom!Dm, dm, dm. Diggi dm, diggi dm,I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Dm, dm, dm.(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

eDna anD DonaLD anD VIrGInIa/ParT one: (Sing.)I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.

LunCHeoneTTe GIrLS/ParT TWo: (Sing.)Sha la la.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Sha la la.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.

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LunCHeoneTTe GuyS/ParT THree: (Sing.)Dm, dm, dm.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Dm, dm, dm.I drive an edsel, you betcha,Gonna pull up an’ getcha in my daddy’s car.Dm, dm.(The following TWO STANZAS are sung under DIALOGUE.)

LunCHeoneTTe GIrLS: (Speak in rhythm.)Ssssslick! Honk! Honk!Sssssuper! Honk! Honk!Ssssstyle! Honk! Honk!Sssssassy! Honk! Honk!


DonaLD: (Speaks a la car salesperson.) economically speaking, the edsel that’s really new, is the lowest price, too.

eDna: (Speaks.) Starting at twenty-five hundred and nineteen dollars for a ranger two-door sedan.

VIrGInIa: (Speaks.) To thirty eight hundred and one dollars for a Citation convertible.

aLL THree: (Speak to audience.) yes, folks, you are the reason behind the edsel!”

aLL: (Sing.) Got my ride and I’m drivin’ it home! Honk! Honk!

GraCIe: (At end of song, EXTRA STUDENTS fade UPSTAGE. MUFFIN, ANN and JANE push IN from LEFT and immediately take the table UP CENTER. GRACIE, ROSE MARIE and EVELYN ENTER LEFT. ROSE MARIE and EVELYN sit DOWN LEFT. GRACIE moves CENTER to inspect the decorations.) What do you think about the decorations? I thought the simpler the better. That way there won’t be so much to clean up.

eDna: Good thinking.

muffIn: I think they look poverty stricken.

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Jane: Shabby.

ann: Pathetic.

roSe marIe: Who asked you?

Jane: Let’s ignore her.

roSe marIe: I wish you would.

muffIn: Perhaps we should go someplace else. especially since we’ll be here this evening. (Pointedly.) To say hello to Ziggy. (They giggle.)

DonaLD: Ziggy, Ziggy, Ziggy. That’s all I’m hearing.

eVeLyn: (To ROSE MARIE.) They still don’t believe Gracie.

roSe marIe: They will when Ziggy waltzes in.

Jane: If Ziggy Springer shows up, muffin will apologize. Won’t you, muffin?

muffIn: I said I would. But I won’t have to.

eDna: I’ll tell Louise the good news, Virginia. (Sotto.) you make that telephone call. use the pay phone across the street. Disguise your voice.

VIrGInIa: Good idea. (EXITS LEFT. EDNA EXITS to kitchen.)

GraCIe: Will you have enough ice cream, Donald?

DonaLD: you name it, I got it. any flavor you want.

ann: Do you have pistachio?

DonaLD: Who eats pistachio?

ann: I do.

DonaLD: figures.

muffIn: Who’s taking you to the Hippity Hop, Gracie?

GraCIe: muffin, you know perfectly well the Hippity Hop is an open dance. It’s not necessary to have an escort.

muffIn: I’d forgotten.

roSe marIe: no, you didn’t. you’re just trying to stir up trouble.

muffIn: Who’s talking to you, miss famiano?

eVeLyn: Don’t talk to rose marie like that.

muffIn: I’ll talk to rose marie any way I want. This is a free country.

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LouISe: (ENTERS UP RIGHT from kitchen. She’s greatly relieved.) Gracie, I’m so glad everything’s worked out. It’s a burden off my mind.

GraCIe: What are you talking about?

LouISe: The Hippity Hop.

eVeLyn: What about it?

LouISe: It hasn’t been cancelled after all. I feel so much better. (LOUISE EXITS back into kitchen. GIRLS and DONALD stare after her.)

aLL: Huh?

roSe marIe: What was that all about?

DonaLD: Beats me. Louise hasn’t been herself all day. She’s been hiding in the kitchen. I’ve been really worried about her.

eVeLyn: Doesn’t sound like Louise.

GraCIe: no, it doesn’t.

roSe marIe: I’m so excited about tonight.

muffIn: I still say tonight will be a big flop.

Jane: unquestionably.

ann: Without a doubt.

eVeLyn: If you don’t stop bad-mouthing the Hippity Hop, I’ll--

muffIn/ann/Jane: you’ll what?

roSe marIe: (Standing.) you’ll find out. (MUSIC CUE 9: “Teen Queen.”)

muffIn: (To ANN and JANE. Speaks.) Girls, girls. Whatever happened to composure? remember who and what we are. (From CHORUS of EXTRA STUDENTS UPSTAGE, several GIRLS who look more like they belong in MUFFIN’S group than GRACIE’S move forward and join in.)

muffIn/ann/Jane/eXTra Teen QueenS: (Sing with conceit, totally clueless.) Teen queen, teen queen,facing new challenges, day after day,I’m a teen queen, teen queen,nothing’s going to stand in my way.

ParT one: (Sings.) I’m lovely,

ParT TWo: (Sings.) I’m lovely,

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ParT one: (Sings.) oh, so lovely,

ParT TWo: (Sings.) I’m lovely.

aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing. Proudly, they just don’t get it.) Some people say we boggle the mind.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) I’m charming.

ParT one: (Sings.) I’m charming.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) oh, so charming.

ParT one: (Sings.) I’m charming.

aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing.) While others say, we’re one of a kind.I guarantee, I’m a pedigree.The bourgeoisie of the girls.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) an honoree.

ParT one: (Sings.) a V.I.P.

aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing.) most assuredly a member of the “royal We!”I’m a teen queen, teen queen,facing new challenges, day after day,I’m a teen queen, teen queen,nothing’s going to stand in my way.

ParT one: (Sings.) I’m graceful.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) I’m graceful.

ParT one: (Sings.) oh, so graceful.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) I’m graceful.

aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing.) What every girl aspires to be.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) I’m cultured.

ParT one: (Sings.) I’m cultured.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) oh, so cultured.

ParT one: (Sings.) I’m cultured.

aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing.) There’s nothing on earth finer than me.I’m pure gourmet, I’m a fine souffle,The creme brulee of the girls.

ParT TWo: (Sings.) a light paté.

ParT one: (Sings.) a peach flambé.

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aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing.) yes, let’s face it, as a leader I’m the main entree!I’ve got class, I’ve got poise, I’ve got style.always look my best each and every day.I am never without my fingernail file.

ParT one: (Sings.) my perfume,

ParT TWo: (Sings.) my makeup,

aLL Teen QueenS: (Sing.) a can of hairspray!What more can we say?I’m a teen queen, teen queen,facing new challenges, day after day,I’m a teen queen, teen queen,nothing’s going to stand in my,I will conquer, do or die,nothing’s going to stand in my way!amen!

muffIn: (At end of song.) Come on, ann, Jane. I’ve had enough of Louise’s Luncheonette.

Jane: until tonight.

ann: and Ziggy Springer. (They giggle. EXIT LEFT.)

roSe marIe: If I were you, Gracie, I wouldn’t introduce your cousin to that bunch. It would be sweet revenge.

eVeLyn: They’re so jealous. It’s a wonder their skin hasn’t turned green. (PHONE RINGS. Once, twice, three times.)

roSe marIe: answer the phone, Donald.

DonaLD: (Lost in his thoughts.) Huh?

TrIo: answer the telephone.

DonaLD: oh, yeah. right. (He picks up the telephone and, as he does, BEVERLY GRIFFITH ENTERS the FORESTAGE from DOWN LEFT, which suggests a different locale. She holds the receiver to her ear. A cord trails OFFSTAGE.) Louise’s Luncheonette. The best in malts, floats, shakes and egg salad sandwiches, with or without lettuce. (GRACIE and the OTHERS admire the ZIGGY banner.)

BeVerLy: my name is Beverly Griffith. I’m trying to reach a girl named Gracie Stanley.

DonaLD: Gracie? She’s right here.

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BeVerLy: may I speak with her?

DonaLD: Gracie, it’s for you.

GraCIe: for me?

DonaLD: Some lady named Beverly Griffith.

GraCIe: Beverly Griffith? (To ROSE MARIE and EVELYN.) Do you know who she is?

roSe marIe/eVeLyn: no.

GraCIe: She’s the secretary to Ziggy’s manager.

eVeLyn: Wow.

roSe marIe: Don’t keep her waiting.

eVeLyn: She probably wants to tell you what time Ziggy will be here.

GraCIe: I guess. (Fussing with her hair.) How do I look?

roSe marIe: you’re not talking to her in person.

eVeLyn: you look fine.

DonaLD: I’m getting tired holding this thing. (GRACIE crosses to telephone, takes it. DONALD steps back. He and the OTHERS are most curious.)

GraCIe: Hello.

BeVerLy: I hope you remember me, miss Stanley.

GraCIe: Certainly I remember you, miss Griffith. nice to hear your voice. What time will Ziggy be here?

BeVerLy: That’s what I’m calling you about.

GraCIe: nothing’s happened to Ziggy, has it?

BeVerLy: I’m afraid so. He’s come down with a bad case of laryngitis.

GraCIe: Laryngitis! (OTHERS react.)

BeVerLy: His larynx is inflamed.

GraCIe: Inflamed! (OTHERS react.)

BeVerLy: nothing seems to help. under the circumstances, I’m sure you realize it would be impossible for him to attend your... what did you call the dance?

GraCIe: (Mournful.) Hippity Hop.

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BeVerLy: Hippity Hop. Curious name. Perhaps another time. Good-bye, miss Stanley. (Hangs up, EXITS LEFT.)

GraCIe: no, miss Griffith, don’t hang up. miss Griffith? miss Griffith? (Looking as if she might become ill, she hangs up.)

DonaLD: you don’t look so good, Gracie.

GraCIe: I don’t feel so good. I might just die. (She moves CENTER.)

roSe marIe: Who’s got laryngitis?

eVeLyn: Who’s inflamed?

GraCIe: (Grim.) Who do you think?

roSe marIe: oh, no!

GraCIe: oh, yes.

eVeLyn: not—

aLL: Ziggy Springer?! (ALL begin to bawl.)

roSe marIe: What are you going to do?

eVeLyn: muffin mansfield will never let you forget this.

roSe marIe: This is a tragedy.

DonaLD: What are the kids going to say?

roSe marIe: muffin will tell everyone she was right about you all along.

GraCIe: oh, this is going to be so embarrassing. my reputation will be ruined.

eVeLyn: you won’t be a teen queen anymore.

roSe marIe: The kids won’t speak to you anymore.

DonaLD: What’s the big deal? Just tell everyone the truth.

GraCIe: The truth? Who’s going to believe the truth? I promised Ziggy Springer and now I can’t deliver.

eVeLyn: We’ll have to cancel the Hippity Hop.

roSe marIe: That would only make things worse.

GraCIe: I’ve got to think of something to get out of this. (Slowly, the light bulb turns on.) maybe... it might work... it might... it might--

oTHerS: What?

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DonaLD: you got a funny look in your eye, Gracie.

GraCIe: Donald, would you show me your impersonation of Ziggy? you know, when he warbles “oh, Baby.”

DonaLD: my pleasure. (Without thinking, he comes from behind the counter, moves CENTER and, as in ACT ONE, Scene One, he does his impersonation of ZIGGY, singing a verse of “Oh, Baby” a cappella. He breaks off when he sees GRACIE staring at him like a hungry hawk.) Hey, ease up with the eyeballs, Gracie. you’re scaring me.

GraCIe: With any luck, we might get away with it.

roSe marIe: you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking?

GraCIe: yes, I am.

eVeLyn: you can’t substitute Donald for Ziggy.

DonaLD: That’s crazy.

roSe marIe: Besides, you’d never get away with it.

GraCIe: I’m that desperate.

DonaLD: are you nuts? The kids would tear me apart.

GraCIe: (Excited.) Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll tell everyone Ziggy’s running late. He’ll only have time for one number because he has to make a plane connection to his next concert.

roSe marIe: But they’ll see it’s Donald.

GraCIe: Just after I make the announcement that Ziggy’s going to sing, we shut off all the lights. The fuse box is inside the kitchen door. We’ll say it’s a power failure.

eVeLyn: I get you. Donald will come out.

roSe marIe: Sing in the dark.

GraCIe: and disappear fast. Very fast.

eVeLyn: (Dubious.) Do you really think it will work?

GraCIe: It’s worth a try. anything is worth a try.

eVeLyn: I suppose.

DonaLD: yakkety-yak. I won’t do it.

GraCIe: Donald, my life is in your hands. my reputation, my future.

DonaLD: I still won’t do it.

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roSe marIe: you always said you were as good as Ziggy Springer. This is your chance to prove it.

DonaLD: In a power failure?

GraCIe: What difference does that make?

DonaLD: I dunno. (Thinking it over.) I dunno. I’ve never sung before a real audience before. I’d be too nervous.

eVeLyn: It would be a noble act.

GraCIe: for one shining moment, you could be a pop idol.

DonaLD: me? a pop idol?

GraCIe: Why not?

roSe marIe: Girls will scream.

DonaLD: Girls will scream.

eVeLyn: Guys will envy you.

DonaLD: Guys will envy me. I like being envied. I like girls screaming over me. If only I didn’t have to be in the dark. It’s creepy. Let me give this some thought. (He taps his foot, making a face to indicate he’s thinking hard.) okay. I’ll do it.

GraCIe: Wonderful!

eVeLyn: Wonderful, wonderful.

roSe marIe: Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

DonaLD: What do you know? I’m beginning to like the idea.

GraCIe: Donald, I could kiss you.

roSe marIe: So could I.

eVeLyn: me, too.

DonaLD: I don’t kiss. (Backs to the counter as the GIRLS attempt to kiss him. He waves his arms to force them back.) Get away, get away. I hate that kissy stuff. (As the GIRLS try to kiss him and he attempts to ward them off, BLACKOUT.)

end of Scene Two

[noTe: again the CurTaInS CLoSe. or the luncheonette will remain in DarkneSS as the emphasis shifts to the foreSTaGe.]

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aCT TWoScene Three

LIGHTS uP on foreSTaGe: VIrGInIa and eDna enTer from DoWn LefT.

VIrGInIa: Worked like a charm. I put a handkerchief over the mouthpiece.

eDna: Did mrs. nicholson say when she’d be leaving? (They cross CENTER.)

VIrGInIa: She said right away.

eDna: Couldn’t be better.

VIrGInIa: Does Louise suspect anything?

eDna: nope. She’s so delighted the Hippity Hop is going on, she can’t think straight. She really likes the kids. It would have hurt her if the dance had to be cancelled.

VIrGInIa: you don’t think Louise will try to contact mrs. nicholson?

eDna: I’ve already thought of that. I told her mrs. nicholson was going out of town to visit a relative and couldn’t be reached.

VIrGInIa: We’re going to have a lot of explaining to do when this night’s over.

eDna: one thing at a time.

VIrGInIa: you’re right. one thing at a time.

eDna: I’m hoping to get a signed picture of Ziggy.

VIrGInIa: you and everyone at the Hippity Hop.

eDna: Come on. We’ve got a lot of work to do before Ziggy gets here. (EXITS RIGHT.)

VIrGInIa: Hippity Hop, Hippity Hop. (Hops a few steps, EXITS after EDNA. GRACIE and GEORGE ENTER DOWN LEFT. GEORGE carries basketball.)

GeorGe: I hope you’ll have time for a dance with me tonight, Gracie.

GraCIe: of course I will, George. more than one.

GeorGe: I mean you’ll be so busy with your cousin and all. If you don’t want to dance with me, I’ll understand.

GraCIe: What a thing to say. (They walk CENTER.) Besides, I thought muffin mansfield would be taking up all your time.

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GeorGe: Who told you something like that?

GraCIe: Word gets around.

GeorGe: I consider that a wild rumor.

GraCIe: (Pleased.) Do you, George?

GeorGe: I don’t want you to misunderstand, Gracie. I know I come across as kind of shy where girls are concerned. I suppose you noticed.

GraCIe: I never thought you were shy, George. Besides, a little shyness has to be expected with a transfer student.

GeorGe: (Holds up basketball.) I’m not shy about basketball. Some people think I could play in the big time.

GraCIe: I’m sure you will, George. If that’s what you want.

GeorGe: I don’t know what I want. I get confused sometimes.

GraCIe: I know the feeling. We’re a lot alike.

GeorGe: I can’t imagine you being confused about anything, Gracie. I was wondering, uh, uh...

GraCIe: yes, George?

GeorGe: Would you like to go to the drive-in with me Saturday night? I could borrow my uncle’s car.

GraCIe: (Thrilled.) The road Buick Skylark convertible?

GeorGe: yeah.

GraCIe: What’s the movie at the drive-in? never mind. It doesn’t matter.

GeorGe: I, uh, want, uh, you, uh, to know, uh...

GraCIe: know what, George?

GeorGe: oh, gee whiz... (MUSIC CUE 10: “It’s Tough To Be A Teenager In Love.” Speaks.) Gracie? That is, Gracie? (Flustered. Sings. [NOTE: CHORUS might be the same chorus members as ZIGGY’S BACKUP GIRLS. Or CHORUS could include male voices, as well. At any rate, the singers simply appear now with no explanation, then disappear just as quickly after the song.]) It’s tough to be a teenager in love.and each night I pray to the heavens above.yes, I pray,

CHoruS: (Sings.) yes, I pray!

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GeorGe: (Sings.) Hear me now,


GeorGe: (Sings.) Tell me, what

CHoruS: (Sings.) Hear me now...

GeorGe: (Sings.) Can I do?

CHoruS: (Sings.) Tell me, what can I do?

GeorGe: (Sings.) Guess I’m cursed,

CHoruS: (Sings.) Cursed!

GeorGe: (Sings.) Cursed to be

CHoruS: (Sings.) Cursed to be

GeorGe/CHoruS: (Sing.) a teenager in love!

GraCIe: (Sings.) It’s tough to be a teenager in love.and each night I pray to the heavens above.yes, I pray,


GraCIe: (Sings.) Hear me now,


GraCIe: (Sings.) Tell me, what

CHoruS: (Sings.) Hear me now,

GraCIe: (Sings.) Can I do?


GraCIe: (Sings.) Guess I’m cursed,


GraCIe: (Sings.) Cursed to be


GraCe/CHoruS: (Sing.) a teenager in love!

GeorGe: (Sings.) It hurts

CHoruS: (Sings.) How it hurts!

GeorGe: (Sings.) Just to see you

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CHoruS: (Sings.) How it hurts!

GeorGe: (Sings.) and not have a clue,

CHoruS: (Sings.) oh, it hurts! yes, it hurts!

GeorGe: (Sings.) How I should act, what I should say.

CHoruS: (Sings.) ow! ow! ow! ow!oh, the pain of it all, how it hurts!

GraCIe: (Sings.) Sometimes when I’m near you,

CHoruS: (Sings.) How it hurts! How it hurts!

GraCIe: (Sings.) I just look away.

CHoruS: (Sings.) oh, it hurts! yes, it hurts!

GeorGe: (Sings.) now, I can’t help but cry!

CHoruS: (Sings.) Boo, hoo, hoo!

GraCIe: (Sings.) no, I can’t help but cry!

CHoruS: (Sings.) Boo, hoo, hoo!

GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Someone, please tell my why,

CHoruS: (Sings.) oh, the pain of it! oh, the pain of it!Someone, please tell me why,

GeorGe/GraCIe/CHoruS: (Sing.) It’s tough to be a teenager in love.and each night I pray to the heavensfor my teen turtle dove.

GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) yes, I pray,


GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Hear me now,


GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Tell me what

CHoruS: (Sings.) Hear me now,

GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Can I do?


GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Guess I’m cursed,

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GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Cursed to be,


aLL: (Sing.) a teenager in love!

GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Guess I’m cursed,


GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Cursed to be,

CHoruS: (Sings.) Cursed to be,

aLL: (Sing.) a teenager in

GeorGe/GraCIe: (Sing.) Love!

CHoruS: (Sings.) It’s tough to be a teenager in love!

GraCIe anD/or a feW SoPranoS: (Sing. No vibrato.) ooo!

mrS. nICHoLSon: (At end of song, they [and CHORUS] turn and EXIT DOWN LEFT. MRS. NICHOLSON ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. OFFICER MOORE is behind her.) Something’s going on at the luncheonette, and I intend to see what it is. I have my suspicions.

offICer moore: What do you want me along for?

mrS. nICHoLSon: I may require the presence of the law. Besides, you’re my brother-in-law, aren’t you? Don’t forget that.

offICer moore: (Woeful.) How could I?

mrS. nICHoLSon: you may have to call for the wagon.

offICer moore: The wagon?!

mrS. nICHoLSon: you know how teenagers are. There could be a riot.

offICer moore: riot?!

mrS. nICHoLSon: Teenagers can get pretty wild.

offICer moore: Wild?!

mrS. nICHoLSon: Stop repeating everything I say.

offICer moore: I wish I knew what this is all about.

mrS. nICHoLSon: The Hippity Hop.

offICer moore: What do I look like, the easter Bunny? (They EXIT

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DOWN LEFT as SINBAD ENTERS DOWN RIGHT, followed by RIFF and MISTY.)

SInBaD: Look who’s up ahead. That cop.

rIff: officer moore.

mISTy: We don’t want anything to do with him. He doesn’t understand us.

SInBaD: I ain’t afraid of heat. (They move LEFT.) I got a strong feeling tonight I’m going to catch the crud who damaged my Harley.

rIff: I’m sure you’re right, Sinbad.

mISTy: The vibes never lie.

SInBaD: riff.

rIff: yeah, Sinbad?

SInBaD: keep your eyes peeled.

mISTy: Gosh, Sinbad, that sounds painful. (They cross DOWN LEFT and EXIT. As they do, the CURTAINS OPEN or the LIGHTS COME UP FULL on Louise’s Luncheonette.)

end of Scene Three

aCT TWoScene four

muSIC Cue 11: “Hippity Hop.”

LIGHTS uP: Louise’s Luncheonette. ComPany is onSTaGe singing and dancing, with the following exceptions: mrS. nICHoLSon, offICer moore, ZIGGy, LennIe, BeVerLy, SInBaD, rIff and mISTy.

GraCIe: (Sings.) Hey, everybody gonna make you jump,make you wiggle, make you thump.

eVeLyn: (Sings.) Get on your feet now, don’t be late.That hippity hop just won’t wait.

roSe marIe: (Sings.) It’s a brand new dance, you won’t wanna miss.

aLL THree: (Sing.) With a crazy little step a-that goes like this. (They demonstrate, placing the first two fingers of each hand behind their heads, pointing straight up and a little curved to simulate bunny ears.) one, two, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Three, four, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)

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five, six, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Seven, eight, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Dance to the music till you’re over the top. (Two steps, three hops.) rompin’ and a-stompin’ to the hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)

GraCIe: (Speaks.) Come on, now you try it. (NOTE: GUYS and GALS can form a line behind each other [as in “The Bunny Hop”], making a train winding around the stage or through the AUDIENCE. Or form several lines of DANCERS facing the AUDIENCE and hop back and forth first moving DOWNSTAGE, then back UPSTAGE.)

ALL: (Sing.)one, two, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Three, four, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)five, six, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Seven, eight, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Dance to the music till you’re over the top. (Two steps, three hops.) rompin’ and a-stompin’ to the hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops. ALL stop and swing and sway in place.)

GraCIe: (Speaks, a shout.) Is it the Jive?!

aLL: (Speak, a shout.) no!

roSe marIe: (Shouts.) Is it the Bop?

aLL: (Shout.) no!

roSe marIe: (Shouts.) Is it the Slop?

aLL: (Shout.) no!

GraCIe: (Shouts.) Is it the Jitterbug?

aLL: (Shout.) no!

aLL THree: (Sing.) What’s the name of this new be-bop?

aLL: (Speak in rhythm, a shout.) The hip, the hip, the Hippity Hop!! (ALL cheer.)

roSe marIe: (Sings.) Come on, everybody, now don’t be shy.Get up on the dance floor ‘n’ give it a try.

eVeLyn: (Sings.)Just feel that beat, let your body move,Before too long, you’ll be in the groove.

GraCIe/roSe marIe: (Sing.) Don’t be lazy ’n’ don’t you scoff.

aLL THree: (Sing.) Come on, everybody now, blastoff!

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aLL: one, two, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Three, four, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)five, six, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Seven, eight, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Dance to the music till you’re over the top. (Two steps, three hops.) rompin’ and a-stompin’ to the hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops. ALL stop and swing and sway in place.)

GraCIe: (Speaks, a shout.) Is it the Clam?

aLL: (Speak, a shout.) no!

eVeLyn: (Speaks, a shout.) Is it the Bug?

aLL: (Shout.) no!

roSe marIe: (Speaks, a shout.) Is it the Twist?

aLL: (Shout.) no!

GraCIe: (Speaks, a shout.) Is it the mashed Potatoes?

aLL: (Shout.) no!

aLL THree: (Sing.) What’s the name of this new be-bop?

aLL: (Speak in rhythm, a shout.) The hip, the hip, the Hippity Hop!! (ALL cheer. Sing.)one, two, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Three, four, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)five, six, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Seven, eight, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Dance to the music till you’re over the top. (Two steps, three hops.) rompin’ and a-stompin’ to the hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Hop, hop, hop across the room,(ALL stop in place. Speak in rhythm, a shout.)“Wop baba lu mop a-wop bam boom!”(Continue the dance.)one, two, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Three, four, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)five, six, hop hop hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Seven, eight, hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops.)Dance to the music till you’re over the top. (Two steps, three hops.) rompin’ and a-stompin’ to the hippity hop! (Two steps, three hops. Speak in rhythm, a chant starting soft and growing louder.) Hippity hop, hippity hop,Hippity hop, hippity hop,Hip, hip, hip, hip

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Hippity, hippity(Sing.)Hippity hop!!

LouISe: (At end of song, applause. DONALD EXITS UP RIGHT to kitchen.) It’s a lovely dance party, Gracie.

muffIn: I’ve been to better.

JuGHeaD: you don’t know what you’re talking about, muffin.

BoB: It’s the best Hippity Hop I’ve ever been to. I haven’t been to any before tonight.

ann: I’m surprised you’re here.

BoB: Why?

Jane: We thought you’d be home reading comic books.

ann: Spiderman and Captain marvel.

BoB: I can dance and read a comic at the same time.

GIrLS: ugh.

muffIn: (Steps forward.) I think we’ve danced enough, kids. after all, we all know why we’re really here.

STuDenTS: Ziggy! Ziggy! Ziggy!

muffIn: (Mean.) That’s right. Ziggy. Where is he?

GraCIe: Well, the truth is. I mean. uh...

ann: Quit stalling.

Jane: Is he coming or not?

GraCIe: relax. He’s here already. arrived a few minutes ago.

muffIn: Why didn’t you say so?

GraCIe: I wanted to build up suspense.

eVeLyn: He can’t stay.

muffIn: Why not?

roSe marIe: Has to catch a plane to his next concert.

eVeLyn: He’s a very busy guy.

GraCIe: He’ll only have time for one number. (Sighs of disappointment.) Isn’t some Ziggy Springer better than no Ziggy Springer?

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STuDenTS: (Ad lib.) yeah.I suppose.you’re right.I guess.Let’s hear him.

GraCIe: (Now assumes the role of emcee.) Stand back, give him room. (STUDENTS pull back. GRACIE, hoping for the best, announces...) Students of Livermore High, it gives me great pleasure to introduce that teen idol all america loves. The hippest and coolest, Ziggy Springer! (Wild cheers, applause. MUSIC CUE 11A: “Oh, Baby” Reprise. Suddenly, BLACKOUT.)

STuDenTS: (Speak. Ad lib.) Hey!The lights!What happened to the lights?

JuGHeaD: (Speaks.) I’m scared of the dark.

roSe marIe/eVeLyn: (Speak.) It must be a power failure.

STuDenTS: (Speak.) Power failure?! (Soon we hear the voice of DONALD coming from the kitchen. He moves OUT into the luncheonette singing. However, this is DONALD’S first public appearance. It soon becomes apparent that he is very nervous as he trips over the lyrics and rhythm. [NOTE: The actor should sing the song as humorously as possible.])

DonaLD: (Sings.)oh, baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!oh, baby, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!She rocks when she rolls,rolls when she rocks,m-m-m-m-my babymakes my heart goTick-tock!

muffIn: (At end of reprise.) Wait a minute. What is this?

Jane: Something’s wrong.

ann: That doesn’t sound like Ziggy.

JuGHeaD: Who is it, then? (LIGHTS FLASH UP. During the BLACKOUT, LOUISE has stepped into the kitchen to see what’s wrong. Not knowing what GRACIE has planned, she has flicked the LIGHTS BACK ON, and we see a bewildered, terrified DONALD wondering how he’s going to get out of this one. STUDENTS are amazed.)

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STuDenTS: Donald Spinney!

DonaLD: (To GRACIE.) Sorry, Gracie, I’ve never sung in front of a crowd before. Guess I got a little nervous.

eVeLyn: Who turned on the lights?

roSe marIe: must have been Louise.

DonaLD: It’s not what you think. It’s not me. I’m somebody else. I, uh, uh, uh... anybody want a fizz cola? (MUFFIN is delighted. GRACIE, ROSE MARIE and EVELYN groan.)

muffIn: (Steps to DONALD.) Does this look like Ziggy Springer?

STuDenTS: no.

muffIn: Did he sound like Ziggy Springer?

STuDenTS: no way.

muffIn: There you have it. Gracie isn’t related to Ziggy and she couldn’t deliver him. She lied.

BoB: Hey! Watch what you say about my sister.

GeorGe: really, muffin. I’m sure Gracie has a perfectly logical explanation, don’t you, Gracie?

GraCIe: Well, uh, that is, uh...

roSe marIe: The truth is he was coming, but he got laryngitis.

muffIn/Jane/ann: Ha!

eVeLyn: His larynx was inflamed.

muffIn/Jane/ann: Ha!

GraCIe: I knew everyone would be terribly disappointed, so I did what I did.

GeorGe: She was only thinking of us. I think Gracie showed a lot of imagination.

muffIn: Go bounce a basketball.

GraCIe: Don’t you dare talk to George like that!

muffIn: you’re a liar, Gracie Stanley. That’s what you are. admit it.

Jane/ann: Liar! Liar! (MUSIC CUE 11B: “Oh, Baby” Reprise. From OFFSTAGE LEFT, outside the luncheonette, we hear the VOICE OF ZIGGY, singing a bit of “Oh, Baby.”)

JuGHeaD: (Speaks.) Listen.

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eVeLyn: (Speaks.) What’s that?

GraCIe: (Speaks.) I don’t know.

muffIn: (Speaks. Sarcastic.) It’s “oh Baby.” (To GRACIE.) What kind of tricks are you up to, now?

GraCIe: (Speaks.) nothing, I swear. (From OFFSTAGE we hear more clearly the VOICES of ZIGGY and BACKUP GIRLS.)

ZIGGy’S VoICe: (From OFF LEFT. Sings.) oh, baby,

roSe marIe: (Speaks.) That voice.

ann: (Speaks.) It sounds like...

ZIGGy’S VoICe: (Still OFF LEFT, but very close. Sings.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!

BaCkuP GIrLS’ VoICeS: (OFF LEFT. Sing.) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!

JuGHeaD: (Speaks.) It is! Ziggy! (Applause. Cheers. ZIGGY and BACKUP GIRLS ENTER LEFT. ZIGGY waves. He wears the flashy jacket. During song, LENNIE and BEVERLY ENTER LEFT quietly.)



ZIGGy: (Sings.) BaCkuP GIrLS: (Sing.) She rocks when she rolls, Wop! Doorolls when she rocks, Wop! Doom-m-m-m-my baby Wop!makes my heart go


ZIGGy: (As the MUSIC ENDS, ZIGGY finishes his brief singing. He spots GRACIE and steps to her.) Hi, cousin Gracie. (EVERYONE is in awe of the appearance. MUFFIN is horrified.)

BoB: (Waving.) I’m Gracie’s brother, Bob. I’m your cousin, too.

ZIGGy: Hi, cousin Bob.

GraCIe: I don’t understand. miss Griffith said you were too ill to appear. Laryngitis.

ZIGGy: ah, that’s my manager’s doing. He doesn’t want me to sing without getting paid. Do you, Lennie? Had to have your secretary do the dirty work?

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LennIe: Pretend I’m not here.

BeVerLy: me neither.

ZIGGy: When I heard what he tried to pull, I said, “no way. I made a promise to visit my little cousin in Livermore.” So, here I am. (More applause, cheers.)

mrS. nICHoLSon: (ENTERS LEFT with OFFICER MOORE.) Just as I thought.

VIrGInIa: (To EDNA.) We’ve got trouble.

mrS. nICHoLSon: (Steps to LOUISE.) you called me up, didn’t you, Louise? Disguised your voice and told me my brother was taken ill.

LouISe: no, I didn’t. Honest.

VIrGInIa: I did it.

mrS. nICHoLSon: you did it? Why?

eDna: We didn’t want to let the kids down.

VIrGInIa: How did you find out?

mrS. nICHoLSon: I don’t have a brother. I have a sister.

eDna: oops. my mistake.

mrS. nICHoLSon: I want this dance to end right now. everybody out. out, out, out.

roSe marIe: Before Ziggy sings?

offICer moore: Ziggy who?

oTHerS: Ziggy Springer!

mrS. nICHoLSon: Ziggy Springer?! (Suddenly, she seems to fall apart. She starts to faint. OTHERS catch her.)

JuGHeaD: maybe she needs some air.

mrS. nICHoLSon: Ziggy Springer! Here! Is such a thing possible?

LouISe: (Points.) He’s right over there.

mrS. nICHoLSon: (Takes a deep breath, walks to ZIGGY in what seems to be a fog.) oh, Ziggy, I’m your number one fan.

oTHerS: Huh?

ZIGGy: I kiss your hand, madam. (He does and MRS. NICHOLSON starts to faint again, recovers. It’s obvious ZIGGY has a romantic effect on her.)

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offICer moore: (To ZIGGY.) That’s mrs. nicholson. She owns Louise’s Luncheonette. She’s my sister-in-law.

mrS. nICHoLSon: (Still can’t believe it.) Ziggy Springer in my building. In person. ooooooh.

ZIGGy: Lady, how would you like an autographed picture of yours truly?

mrS. nICHoLSon: I would, I would. Could you inscribe it to eunice? That’s my first name.

ZIGGy: no problem. Let’s have a glossy, Beverly. (BEVERLY steps to DOWN LEFT table, opens attaché case, takes out glossy and pen. ZIGGY sits, autographs his picture.) “To eunice of Louise’s Luncheonette. Love and kisses. Ziggy.”

mrS. nICHoLSon: Love and kisses! (APPLAUSE.)

ZIGGy: How’s that, eunice? (Holds out picture.)

mrS. nICHoLSon: I don’t know what to say.

LennIe: Say thank you.

mrS. nICHoLSon: Thank you, Ziggy. (She takes the picture and moves to counter.) Louise, I want you to display this picture over the soda fountain. I want the whole town to see it. I’m going to buy a beautiful frame. I’ll spare no expense.

LouISe: What about the dry cleaning establishment?

mrS. nICHoLSon: I think we can forget about that. Didn’t you hear what Ziggy wrote?

DonaLD: He wrote “Louise’s Luncheonette.”

mrS. nICHoLSon: exactly. (RIFF, SINBAD and MISTY ENTER quickly.)

rIff: I saw him come in, Sinbad.

SInBaD: Point him out, point him out. (RIFF looks about. BOB tries to duck.)

rIff: (Points to BOB.) That’s him. (EVERYONE steps back, leaving BOB by himself.)

BoB: oh-oh. This is not my day.

SInBaD: (Advancing.) Come here, you.

GraCIe: you leave my brother alone.

mISTy: Better stay out of it, girlie.

BoB: Let me explain, Sinbad.

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SInBaD: explain this. (Swings. BOB ducks, pops up. Swings again and BOB ducks again. Swing, duck. Swing, duck.)

GeorGe: (Advancing on SINBAD.) I warned you once before.

offICer moore: Let me handle this. (Moving in.) That’ll be enough of that, Sinbad.

SInBaD: you don’t understand. He took my Harley for a spin, and he smashed it up. There’s a law against smashing up private property, ain’t there?

offICer moore: about that motorcycle. are you sure it’s yours?

SInBaD: How can you say such a thing? of course it’s mine!

rIff: of course it’s Sinbad’s.

mISTy: Why are you asking?

offICer moore: Because we got a report of a stolen motorcycle. The description fits the one you’ve been riding, Sinbad. I think we ought to go down to the station and have a few words. unless, of course, you can show me your bill of sale.

SInBaD: (Frantic.) I didn’t steal it! (Points to RIFF and MISTY.) They did. They told me they were giving it to me for a birthday present.

rIff: Hey, man, that’s not true.

mISTy: It’s a big lie.

SInBaD: I can’t go to jail. I got a medical condition.

offICer moore: Let’s go, Sinbad. Call the station, will you, Louise? Tell them I need a squad car. We’ll be outside. (He shoves SINBAD LEFT.)

SInBaD: It’s all a mistake!

offICer moore: and you made it.

SInBaD: Is it my fault no one understands untamed youth? (He and OFFICER MOORE are OUT, LEFT. MISTY and RIFF follow. OTHERS laugh, wave them good-bye. LOUISE dials telephone.)

BoB: man, oh, man! Did I get lucky! my life’s just been handed back to me. I’ve sure learned my lesson. I’ll never touch another motorcycle again as long as I live. (With a grin.) at least until I get my own.

GeorGe: I’m glad everything worked out for you, Bob. you’re a good guy. and thanks to your sister, it’s a great party. one surprise after the other.

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GraCIe: (Steps to him.) Thank you, George.

Jane: (To MUFFIN.) muffin, you said you’d apologize to Gracie if Ziggy showed up.

ann: a genuine teen queen never goes back on her word. It’s an unwritten law. (MUFFIN doesn’t want to apologize, but she has little choice. ALL watch intently.)

muffIn: (Without enthusiasm.) I apologize.

GraCIe: I accept your apology, muffin.

oTHerS: Hooray!

GraCIe: Ziggy, I can’t tell you what your being here means to us.

ZIGGy: I’ll stay and sing as long as you want me to. Won’t I, Beverly, Lennie?

BeVerLy/LennIe: you’re the boss.

ZIGGy: What’s everyone standing around for? Let’s rock.

GraCIe: Isn’t it wonderful to be living in the nifty fifties?!

aLL: you said it, Gracie! (MUSIC CUE 12: “The Nifty Fifties” Reprise. ENTIRE CAST moves ONSTAGE during MUSIC INTRODUCTION. LIGHTS DIM. A SPOTLIGHT COMES UP on REBEL GUY and GIRL and PREPPIE GUY and GIRL. As singing begins, ALL FREEZE in wild, silhouetted dance positions.)

reBeL Guy: (Sings.) That’s our story, time to say good-bye.

PrePPIe GIrL: (Sings.) Glad you stopped in for a little while.

PrePPIe Guy: (Speaks.) and remember (Sings.), if you’re ever sad or feelin’ down,

reBeL GIrL: (Sings.) Close your eyes and sit back, take a ride

aLL SoLoISTS: (Speaks, a shout.) To the nifty fifties! (LIGHTS UP. COMPANY UNFREEZES.)

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo.yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Petticoats and a poodle skirt,

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Black boots and a motorcycle jacket.

aLL GIrLS: (Sing.) Saddle shoes and bobbysox,

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aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Dungarees and a cool white t-shirt.

ComPany: (Sings.) Take me right back to the nifty fifties,I long to be there every now and then.I’m cruisin’ back to the nifty fifties,I’m gonna live it all again!

aLL GuyS: (Sing.) Come-a, come-a, come on along.Come-a, come-a, to the nifty fifties!

ComPany: (Sings.) Come-a, come-a, come on along.Come-a, come-a, to the nifty fifties!Come-a, come-a, come on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!(COMPANY divides into CHORUS ONE and TWO. The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a duet.)

CHoruS one: (Sings.)Come-a, come-a, come on along.Come-a, come-a, to the nifty fifties!Come-a, come-a, come on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!

CHoruS TWo: (Sings.)Petticoats and a poodle skirt,black boots and a motorcycle jacket.Saddle shoes and bobbysox,Dungarees and a cool white t-shirt.(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)

CHoruS one: (Sings.) Come-a, come-a, come on along.Come-a, come-a, to the nifty fifties!Come-a, come-a, come on along.Goin’ back-a to the nifty fifties!

SoLoISTS/CHoruS TWo: (Sing.) french twist, with a little curl,Ducktails ’n’ long thick sideburns.Cute bangs and a ponytail,a slick D.a.’s gonna get that dream girl.

a feW SoPranoS: (Sing.) ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo!(The COMPANY slowly begins to EXIT as they SING to FADE. The

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FOUR SOLOISTS are the last to EXIT behind the COMPANY. The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)


SoLoISTS/CHoruS TWo: (Sing.)Petticoats and a poodle skirt,black boots and a motorcycle jacket.Saddle shoes and bobbysox,Dungarees and a cool white t-shirt.

a feW SoPranoS: (Sing.) ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo!(The following THREE STANZAS are sung as a trio.)


SoLoISTS/CHoruS TWo: (Sing.)french twist, with a little curl,Ducktails ’n’ long thick sideburns.Cute bangs and a ponytail,a slick D.a.’s gonna get that dream girl.

a feW SoPranoS: (Sing.) ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo!(As before, PREPPIE COUPLE EXITS arm in arm. REBEL GUY EXITS combing his hair, while REBEL GIRL is holding a small pocket mirror and applying lipstick. LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.)

enD of muSICaL

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production notes

ProPerTIeS

onSTaGe: Three tables, nine chairs, soda counter with three stools, optional cash register, telephone, glasses. on each table: sugar bowl, menu, glass with straws, paper napkins, salt and pepper shakers. Sign reading: “LouISe’S LunCHeoneTTe.” optional trademark signs: CoCa-CoLa, HerSHey’S CHoCoLaTe, etc. Jukebox, record platters.

BrouGHT on, aCT one, Scene Two: Dish towel, soda jerk hat, white jacket or apron, metal ice cream shaker (DonaLD); wristwatch, apron, chef’s hat, frying pan (LouISe); apron, cap, pad and pencil, tray (VIrGInIa, eDna); coat (eDna); schoolbooks or bookbag (GraCIe, roSe marIe, eVeLyn, muffIn, ann, Jane); varsity jacket, comic book (JuGHeaD); basketball, varsity jacket (GeorGe); guitar with ribbons (rIff); tambourine (mISTy).

BrouGHT on, aCT one, Scene Three: microphone, flashy jacket, bathrobe, towel (ZIGGy); eyeglasses, clipboard with papers (BeVerLy).

BrouGHT on, aCT one, Scene four: Broom (VIrGInIa); handbag, hat (mrS. nICHoLSon); syrup can (DonaLD); glossy photograph, book (GraCIe).

BrouGHT on, aCT TWo, Scene one: Schoolbooks (muffIn, ann, Jane).

BrouGHT on, aCT TWo, Scene Two: Decorations added during intermission: Balloons, crepe paper, etc. Banner reading “WeLCome ZIGGy SPrInGer”; telephone (BeVerLy).

BrouGHT on, aCT TWo, Scene Three: Basketball (GeorGe).

BrouGHT on, aCT TWo, Scene four: attaché/briefcase with photograph and pen (BeVerLy).

CoSTumeS

as described in the text and in the “1950s yearbook” below. remember it’s the 1950s, so anything that reinforces the concept will look good. Varsity jackets, Levi’s with a cuff, saddle shoes, poodle skirts, ponytails, cashmere blouses, white t-shirts. Sweaters over the shoulders for some of the GIrLS. SInBaD should look really wild and the BeaTnIkS should be costumed so they’ll get a laugh. Since the Hippity Hop is not a formal dance, the aCTorS can wear everyday clothing, or you might want to have a few STuDenTS dressed for a party.

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reBeL maLe and femaLe CoSTumeS: He is dressed a la JameS Dean, in jeans, white t-shirt, black boots and a black leather jacket. She is dressed in tight black pedal pushers, white blouse, neckerchief and flat-heeled shoes. They should portray a “tough” image.

PrePPIe maLe and femaLe CoSTumeS: They are dressed in more Ivy League attire. He in jeans or pressed slacks, a white shirt and tie, a letterman’s sweater or sports blazer and black and white saddle oxfords or penny-loafers. She in a poodle skirt or tweed skirt, with tight fitting blouse, tucked in, bobby sox and either saddle shoes or flat-heeled shoes. a ponytail or french twist is a must.

BeaTnIkS: “The men favored beards but wore their hair short, and their clothing-usually khaki pants, a sweater and sandals, carefully avoiding any hint of flamboyance. The girls wore black leotards and no lipstick, but so much eye shadow that people joked about their ‘racoon eyes.’” (Taken from This Fabulous Century, 1950-60 Edition, Time-Life Publications, page 84.)

fLeXIBLe CaSTInG

LouISe could be played male (LouIe), rIff could be played female (roXanne). eXTra STuDenTS and BeaTnIkS can be male, female or mixed.

add more STuDenTS for eXTraS. They could be part of the action and act as CHoruS. add an extra table or two if your stage allows. also, SInBaD could travel with some added BIkerS and/or HIPPIeS.

noTe: The singing characters of reBeL Guy and GIrL and PrePPIe Guy and GIrL can be portrayed by actors playing SInBaD, mISTy, GeorGe and GraCIe, respectively, or by completely different actors than the musical’s leads.

mISCeLLaneouS

ZIGGy’S ConCerT: you can elaborate on the concert scene if you wish. you could have several GIrLS run down the theatre aisle when ZIGGy is introduced, and then have a couple of SeCurITy GuarDS push them back up the aisle.

JukeBoX: The 1950s were big on jukeboxes, particularly the classic Wurlitzer. If you can’t come up with one, use a brightly-colored cartoon facade. or get along without the jukebox. If you do use one, have a CHaraCTer or two check the records listed at some point.

CaSH reGISTer: you really don’t need one, but it makes a great effect if DonaLD can ring up a couple of sales.

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1950s yearbook

1955

faDS: Davy Crockett paraphernalia such as coon skin hats.

neW WorDS/PHraSeS: automated, certified mail, church key (a bottle opener), cue card, demolition derby, fish sticks, junk mail.

CLoTHeS: every teenage girl wants a full-circled poodle skirt with an appliqued cutout (a poodle with a furry tail and rhinestone eyes and collar, or maybe a hot rod) near the hemline. Lots of petticoats underneath, and saddle shoes with bobby sox complete the outfit. as well, teens favor sweater sets, Peter Pan collars and tweed skirts or jumpers. Some teenage boys and young men emulate marlon Brando’s movie attire with black boots, leather belt with outsized metal buckle, black leather motorcycle jacket. others copy James Dean’s haircut and a pack of cigarettes rolled up in a t-shirt sleeve.

TV: Captain kangaroo, Howdy Doody, mickey mouse Club, “The $64,000 Dollar Question,” The Buster Brown Gang (Buster Brown Shoes were the first ever merchandise spinoff from a TV show), “Sergeant Preston of The yukon,” “Dragnet.”

reBeL moVIeS: James Dean: “east of eden,” “rebel Without a Cause;” marlon Brando: “on The Waterfront.”

THeaTre: mary martin in “Peter Pan.”

1956

faDS: Captain midnight decoder rings, teenage girls put their boyfriend’s high school rings on a gold chain around their necks.

neW WorDS/PHraSeS: Brainstorming, head-shrinker, hero sandwich, tranquilizer.

CLoTHeS: Teenage girls team dad’s shirt with rolled-up jeans while boys try for the Ivy League look of sports blazer and peaked cap. Both wear jeans with either black and white saddle shoes or penny-loafers, although some guys opt for bucks.

HaIr: Teenage girls wear their hair in a ponytail while guys go for elvis Presley’s oily ducktail and sideburns (some painted them on).

TV: elvis appears on ed Sullivan’s show, “The Honeymooners,” “Lassie,” “I Love Lucy.”

moVIeS: Dean martin and Jerry Lewis, “Giant” (James Dean’s last movie).

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1957

faDS: elvis Presley paraphernalia.

neW WorDS/PHraSeS: asian flu, babysitter, blast-down, escape route, moonlighter, moonlighting, special (a TV spectacular), teacher’s aide.

CLoTHeS: Teenage girls love heavy and baggy sweaters or a regular cardigan buttoned up the back.

HaIr: “Is it true, blondes have more fun?” is added to american vocabulary. under the impact of elvis Presley, the very short sideburns of the early 1950s now extend another one and a half inches to form a rectangle of longer, thicker hair in front of each ear.

TV: “american Bandstand.”

THeaTre: “West Side Story.”

muSIC: West Indian music, Calypso becomes the rage: “The Banana Boat Song” (Day-O), “The Stroll” is introduced.

1958

faDS: Hula hoop.

neW WorDS/PHraSeS: Beat, beat generation, beatnik, hot dog (a race driver), overkill, parenting, sick joke, wilderness park, alaskaphobia (a Texan’s fear of something bigger than their state.)

CLoTHeS/faSHIon: The sack dress; a gold chain and heart worn on a girl’s left ankle signifies a steady boyfriend, on the right, a replaceable boyfriend; teenagers switch from lipstick to eye shadow and false eyelashes.

1959

faDS: The edsel ($450 million invested, only 11,000 sold), goofy stunts such as telephone booth stuffing.

neW WorDS/PHraSeS: Backup (a substitute), beer-b-q (a barbecue with beer as the main beverage), bubble bug (a helicopter), go-karting, valet parking.

CLoTHeS/faSHIon: The bikini, below the knee hemlines, three-quarter length sleeves, bright-colored sports jackets, stiletto shoes, wide leather belts, wigs, white lipstick.

TV: “Bonanza,” “rawhide,” “Dennis the menace,” “The many Loves of Dobie Gillis,” “The Twilight Zone,” “The untouchables,” “Laramie.”

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Written By TIm keLLy Lyrics & music By BILL franCoeurCHoruS one: (Sings.) Petticoats and a poodle...

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Transcript of Written By TIm keLLy Lyrics & music By BILL franCoeurCHoruS one: (Sings.) Petticoats and a poodle...