Writing with Nina

A communal chapbook inspired by the music of Nina Simone

Published by Creo BooksLos Angeles, California

2011

Writing with Nina

Creo BooksLos Angeles, California

2011

Compiled and designed by Amy Shimshon-SantoCreative Commons Copyright 3.0

Dedication

This chapbook is dedicated to the vision and vitality

of Nina Simone.

Gratitude

Special thanks to the energy and perseverance of Amitis Motavelli, Shag, and all of the staff at the

William Grant Still Art Center, for their support, dedication, and enthusiasm.

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THE WRITING SPA

Spring 2011

Fanisha Muepo

Camey Wiseman

Scherrie Tate

Sonjia Robles

Leslie Rolison

Cynthia Peterson

withAmy Shimshon-Santo

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Preface Amy Shimshon-Santo

Introduction Fanisha Muepo

Call and Response Writing

I. Freedom

Nina Say “How it Feels to be Free”

We Say Reflections on Freedom

II. Self

Nina Say “Images” & “For Myself”

We Say Reflections on Self

III. Motherhood

Nina Say “Brown Baby”

We Say Reflections on Motherhood

PREFACE

This chapbook is an offering to the memory of Nina Simone. The work emerged in a creative writing class tied to an exhibition of Nina Simone’s life and memorabilia at the William Grant Still Art Center in South Los Angeles. The center allowed me try out a dream that had been simmering inside me for years - a writing group for mothers. It is easy for people who are caring for others to lose track of themselves. This is true for the service professions, but it is also true of parents. There were times when I was raising my own chil-dren that I forgot the sound of my own voice. I barely recognized myself in the mirror. Anything I wanted to accomplish had to fit within the needs and lives of my children. They came first. They still do. What I didn’t know at the time was that sometimes the best way for me to take care of my flock was to take a moment for myself to rejuvenate. No one ever told me that, and I didn’t know to ask. Parents in high-risk communities like Los Angeles have to do far more than love and educate our kids. We need to be attentive guides, educational advocates, and fearless warriors providing safe spaces for them to grow and reach. Strangely, society tends to denigrate the role of mothers. The term “single mother” is commonly used as a catch-all phrase that blames the present parent for larger social ills. What I have experienced in my own life, and what I have seen in the world, is quite the opposite. Attentive parents, whether single or married, are doing important work! They are raising the next generation of human beings in complex and challenging times. They deserve some dignity and respect. Maybe even a big “thank you!” I hoped that a writers’ group for parents would provide the healing that comes from creative expression and community build-ing. Amitis Motavelli, the Center’s Director, invited me to teach a Big Read class at WGSAC. Later, she suggested that I talk to parents enrolling their kids in the center’s wonderful music program. Sure enough, a group of mothers pulled me to the side and we quickly

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decided on a time and day to write. The wisdom in the group was phenomenal. We were con-tinuously moved and inspired by the knowledge, beauty, vision, and resiliency that each one of us possessed. We read, wrote, and talked about profound and valuable issues related to parenthood and personal growth. After the first session, Camey asked me to pinch her. She couldn’t believe that we had created such a healing circle. Leslie quickly suggested the group’s name, Spa. “This feels so good, like we are in a spa.” This is how the Writer’s Spa was born. I am grateful for the women in the group, their beautiful children, and the William Grant Still Art Center. It has been a healing experience that would have made Nina Simone smile.

- Amy Shimshon-Santo

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INTRODUCTION

Mothers, that’s who we are, joined together ten weeks ago by our creative writing intellects. All of us expressed a desire to join this creative writing workshop a.k.a. “Writing Spa” at the William Grant Still Arts Center. Every week we sipped on green tea brought to us by our amazing instructor Amy Shimshon-Santo.

Wives, mothers, divorcees, single parents, educated women who needed an outlet to express ourselves apart from our daily routines and responsibilities. Inspired by the lyrics of Nina Simone’s phe-nomenal music, she enabled us to view every aspect of our lives uncut, uncensored, creatively from our individual life experiences.

We’ve shared, laughed, and even cried together to heal what was inside of us so that we can pay it forward. We challenge and encour-age you mothers and fathers alike in the community, to find and tap into that creative imaginative spirit that you possess and open yourselves up to an outlet with like-minded people and explore the creative possibilities within you.

So many possibilities for the “Writing Spa” that the sky is not even the limit. International women writing together joined by a com-mon thread, motherhood.

It’s Tea Time!

- Fanisha Muepo

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Nina sang about freedom

>

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How It Feels to Be Free

(The lyrics below are a transcript from a live performance in Montreal, Canada. 1976.)

I wish I knew how it would feel to be freeI wish I could break all the chains still binding me I wish I could say all the things that I can say when I relaxedI’d be starting anew

I wish I could be like a bird in the skyHow sweet it would be to find that I could flyI’d soar to the sun and look down at the seaThen I’d sing, ‘cause I knowHow it feels to be free

I wish I could share all the love that’s in my heartI wish I could break all the things that bind us apart

I wish you could know what it means to be meThen you’d see! You’d agree!Everybody should be free!Because if we ain’t, we’re murderous.

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky How sweet it would be and I’d flySoar to the sun look down at the sea

Oh yeah…Spirits moving now

I know I got news for youJonathan Livingston Seagull ain’t got nothing on me

Free! Free! Free! Free! I’m free!

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I know itI show itBelieve in meIt’s alrightAnd I Sing! Sing! Sing!

Because I know, I already know. I found out how it feels not to be chainedTo anythingTo any raceTo any faithTo anybodyTo any creedTo any hopesTo anything!

I know how it feels to be free!

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We wroteabout freedom

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Paid For

Our African American ancestors paid the price Forced from their homeland to a new landDispersedDispersedDispersedIt was all for a reasonBecause of this dispersion to North AmericaSouth America, the Islands and beyondWe have made a global impactby contributing so muchto the world in inventions, arts, music, and religion.

Everything they went through was not in vain. Today we have a responsibility to make an impact on others as well

What you go through is not for you!You are able to share with someone elseWho is going through a similar situation.

Encourage them and give them the hope that they can make itThey’re just going “through”and don’t have to be stuck there.

Question: What’s in you that can help somebody else?

- Fanisha Muepo

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Grandmother

My grandmother is working in the fieldsand taking care of other people’s familieswhile she had her own at home

She studied on her time off showing her children how important education wasFrom that, she has taught her children’s childrenthe importance of education

Knowing what she overcamemakes me know that I can!

- Scherrie Tate

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Relaxed

I am most relaxed when I’m standing on the beachand I’m looking at God’s creation. I can hear the waves rushing in and receding back. I wait anxiously each time. It’s like a cleansing feeling to me.

I love the smell and the ocean breeze. If I could share this moment with anyone, it would be with my children.

The ocean is mysterious to meIn my own way,I am mysterious to myself

The ocean allows me to imagine I can be anywhere I wanna be. like on an island, or another countryBut there are times when I feel sad to know that the ocean claimed so many lives.

- Leslie Rolison

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If

If she could dance naked…

Naked means freedomfreedom from clothesfreedom from restraints that keep us enslaved freedom from garments that control us and that should not define us

Dance!To dance nakedTo be freeTo have funTo express who we are

An African danceSome balletSome stompin’Some tappin’

Dancing is livingA time to express YOU and all your thoughts

The focus is not the bodybut the mind of a woman who is freeFree to do anything she wants. To move in waysthat satisfy her inner soul

- Camey Wiseman

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Listen to our soulcraving for flightinto a time of freedom to thinktastefeelmeditate and dream

Even when I sleep I normally never feel like I’m dreamingBut I am dreaming

Loving me.

Controlling me.

- Camey Wiseman

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Lost and Found

Lost my faithPlease help me find

Last seen in desperationWearing hope and fear

Needy

Unable to grab it in the crowded world of truthScience and liesFalse beliefsUnanswered questionsDisregarded inquiries

Nothing

Lost faith No faith

Return if found.

- S.R.

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Bird Song

My grandmother had 18 kids.She always told me that she washed clothes on the board.She had a rough time to have all the kids.She’d go to the river to have peace of mind.My Grand used to feel so much freedom then.She was a nurse in Jackson, Mississippi.

- Cynthia Peterson

The Beach

When I’m on the beach I feelI seean angel around me looking around

I see people, anda big angel around people.

I wish I could save the worldand the water,so much wave water,but they have to save their self.

- Cynthia Peterson

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Nina sang about self

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Images

She does not know

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her beauty,She thinks her brown bodyhas no glory.If she could dancenaked,under palm treesand see her image in the rivershe would know. But there are no palm treeson the street,and dishwater gives back no images.

For Myself

For myselfI must learn for myselfNot from what someone elseHas said or done

And so I live my life from day to dayAnd try to smileWhile feeling my wayJust like a child

For myselfI must learn for myselfThe future that someone elseMay say will come

May never beOh, whatever destiny holds for meLet me see for myself

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We wroteabout self

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Pretty vs. Smart

I have pretty to the “T”Can’t you see? That’s all I heard growing up. “Scherrie’s going to be pretty.” I barely remember anyone asking what I was going to be.Not fully thought out, I would have just claimed what most children did, to be a teacher.

I heard Pretty Pretty Pretty as if that would get me somewhere. Well, it’s gotten me somewhere alright! So far in a hole that only Smart can get me out.

My dream at age 33 is to be Smart First then Pretty.

It was their responsibility but now it’s mine.

- Scherrie Tate

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Fathers

I was raised in a home with three womenMy grandmotherMy motherand Aunt Kathy

All I saw was women who had childrenBut no fathers

No one spoke of marriageor what was to come in the futurefor us children

Now I have children of my ownand fathers, but not in my home

I’m trying to overcome this imageBut accept it at the same time.

- Scherrie Tate

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My Reflection

What images are portrayed by Fanisha Michelle Muepo?Woman of GodWifeMotherEducatorMinistry leaderLoyal friendEntrepreneur

Does all of this matter? Yes, to an extent, but not so much if Fanisha Michelle Muepoisn’t true to herself, if she doesn’t realize her potential,to be what God has destined her to be

Do I see the image I want to seewhen I see my reflection in the river?The river connects me to people and places.- Fanisha Muepo

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For the Writing Spa

Beauty surrounds meParalyzed, not by what I see, but what I feelOverwhelmed with unseen beautyBy words so real that I think they are my own

Paralyzed by beauty that cannot be seenImmeasurable to any tangible thing

Words spokenSoft and fierceWords sharedBold and trueWords written and heard in silenceBeauty surrounds mewith all of you

- S. R.

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My Fears

Cancer is one of my biggest fears. Why? Because my mother, grandmother and favorite uncle passed away from it.

My second biggest fear is becoming homeless. I’ve never been homeless but I’ve come across many friends and family members who have been.

Just hearing the word homeless gives me anxiety.

The word itself takes me there.

- Scherrie Tate

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Age

At the age of 40 I want to be carefree. I want to be satisfied with my life thus far. In my teenage years I was like a caterpillar moving slowly no real direction in life. I was just livingEach day was whatever to me. Sometimes I felt loved, other times I felt alone. Who really pays attention to a caterpillar?

Now, I’m more mature I feel like I’m in a cocoon just waiting for my turn. I know what I want, and who I want to be, but it’s a process to get there so I can’t rush life.

One day I will break free and be that woman people look at and say, Yea, she got it going on. This is her time. Watch! You’ll see When I turn 40 I’ll be like a butterfly. Carefree.

- Leslie Rolison

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Lifestyle

I am 39 years beautiful. I think I play more at this age than I have my entire life. I’m just saying. I ride my bike, I skate. I run. I chase my three year old son, and he chases me. We play soccer.

I am my own child. My son and I play video games. We visit the arcade. We play air hockey, and go to the movies. We play karate and battle each other. We sing, we dance, and we rap!

All of these things we do weekly. We read and learn together. We fly kites. We take swim lessons twice a week together. We travel on a vacation once a month. When I was a child we took a huge family vacation once every summer.

I joke and say that we are living the vacation lifestyle, but it’s actually the truth! It is part of the goal for my life, which is to be a business owner and also enjoy this life to its fullest capacity. I know my heart is healthy because it has so much fun playing every day!

- Camey Wiseman

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Nina wroteabout motherhood

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Brown Baby(Lyrics by Oscar Brown Jr.)

Brown Baby Brown BabyAs you grow up I want you to drink from the plenty cupI want you to stand up tall and proudAnd I want you to speak up clear and loudBrown Baby Brown Baby Brown Baby

As years go by I want you to go with your head up highI want you to live by the justice codeAnd I want you to walk down freedom’s roadYou, little Brown Baby

Lie away sleeping lie away safe in my armsYour daddy and your mama protect youand keep you safe from harmBrown Baby

It makes me glad You gonna have things that I never hadWhen out of men’s heart all hate is hurledSweetie, you gonna live in a better world. Brown Baby Brown Baby Brown Baby

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We wroteabout motherhood

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The Plenty Cup

“As you grow up I want you to drink from the plenty cup.”

On July 26, 2007, James Michael Bishop Jr. was born. My life is not only about me anymore. A child is a true blessing from God. He was given to me to love, protect, teach, and to coach into an awesome brown man.

My hope for my brown baby is to create a legacy that can be passed to him to help assist him into who he aspires to be - greatness.

I go out of my way to teach him diversity and how to conduct himself and be around all shades of the hu-man rainbow. Appreciate every type of person.

Today’s society and economic system is showing us daily that nothing is for certain when it comes to our future.

I beg to differ…

Brown baby, Mommy is here to help mold and sup-port you. Enjoy all the things that life has to offer.

- Camey Wiseman

Common Sense

When I was younger, my mom said I possessed the academic intelligence - always getting certificates and medals. But all of that would be in vain because, she said, I didn’t have any common sense.

My mom wanted to make sure I didn’t grow up naïve but used wisdom to guide me through life. I appreciate that gift from her.

Now, fast forward. We’re raising four black young men who I want to “live by the justice code.” Yes, they are intelligent boys academically, love sports, and learning music. But they need to be street smart as well. As young Black men, the world has targeted them just because.

I want to instill in them wisdom and responsibility. We’ve sheltered them from many things and didn’t want them exposed. But, reality is, those negative things and people are there anyways. We have to teach them to recognize it.

As a parent, I want to know that my sons can live by the justice code and possess integrity. Integrity is basically doing good even if nobody else is looking. I dedicate these lyrics to my sons Dontrel, Xavier, Savion, and Joel. They are my brown babies.

- Fanisha Muepo

Justice Code

My brown baby boyHow I love youand fear for you at the same time

I want you to live by the justice codeBut I don’t know what it is

What is right for some, maybe be wrong for youWhat is honestly yours, can be stolen again

Integrity is a road that is often crooked before it is straightYour journey through the justice code will be a challenge.

PerseveranceSelf ControlIndomitable SpiritWalk StrongStay focused

I promise to support you with all of meRemember your nameSanjay: invincible, unconquerable.Create your own justice code.

- S.R.

Sonora

Dear Daughter, my first bornMy introduction to motherhoodTo love as I have never knownTo life as I will always remember

Dear Daughter, my first bornMy exposure to fear unknownUnexplainable, and unable to escape You help me!

Dear Daughter, my first bornMy induction to pain penetrating all remediesYou cure me!

Dear Daughter, my first bornSmiles that overtake my heartUncontrollable laughter, until I begin to cryHugs that swallow me wholeKisses covering my soulYou bring me Joy!

Dear Daughter, my first bornMy launch to life as a MOTHERLife as I dream it Life as I live itLife as I know itLife as it is.

Dear Daughter, my first bornI love youI adore youI thank you

- S.R.

Brown Skin

Be proud of your dark skin, light skinwhatever shade of brown skin

Don’t let no one tell you, you cantbecause of your beautiful brown skin You deserve everything the world has to offerwith no limit at all - wealth, education, fame, and happinessNever should you feel shameful, useless, or undeserving

Your brown skin represents beauty, struggle, grace, pride, and determination.Let those things illuminate through your dark skin, light skinWhatever shade of brown skin

I love my skinIt’s one of a kindIt tells a story of a brown skinned womanWho lives a beautiful liferegardless of what you see on the outsideLook past my tattoos, stretch marks, and scars.

My brown skin tells you that I am a queenwhose life journeybrought me this far.

- Leslie Rolison

Message for the Children

Leslie: Your brown skin represents beauty, struggle, grace, pride, determination. So let those things illuminate through your dark skin, light skin, whatever shade of brown skin.

Scherrie: We have to be gentle with our brown babies. They are little flowers to us. It’s what we put into them that will grow.

Camey: A child is a true gift from God. They were given to us to love, protect, to teach, to coach them into an awesome brown man or woman.

Fanisha: As your community of parents, we want to know that you live by the justice code and possess integrity. Integrity is basically doing good even if nobody else is looking. We dedicate this to all of the children in our communities. They are out brown babies.

Sonjia: Perseverance. Self Control. Indomitable spirit. Walk strong. Stay focused. Remember we love you. Remember your name: Invincible!