Writing an appropriate personal statement

Penny EdwardsStudent Recruitment Manager

Compact launch28 June 2013

The UCAS application form

• Name, gender, date of birth – age on entry to university

• Address and nationality - used to assess fee status, decision made separately to offer

• Contextual information – first generation, low participation neighbourhood, type of school and number progressing to HE

• Course choice – universities do not see student’s other choices

• Post 11 education

• Qualifications

• Special needs

• Any ‘paid’ employment

• Getting application in early may benefit students

Before submitting application

Students should check

• Minimum entry requirements

• Do predicted grades match typical offer?• Does student have right GCSE profile/equivalence, e.g.

Maths and English for Fashion Design?• Are there any subject specific requirements for A-level/IB

• Additional selection criteria

• Will course still be running in 2014?

Admissions tutors are looking for

• Applicants who understand the discipline and how it is taught at their chosen university.

• Applicants who show real interest in their subject.

• Applicants with potential to benefit and do well.

• Students who will contribute to the course, department and university.

• Students who will complete the programme.

• Graduates who will enhance the university’s reputation.

Personal statements and references

• Use varies between courses and universities.

• Admissions Staff will use all information on form to make judgements.

• The statement and reference could be key in determining whether applicant receives an offer/invitation to attend interview.

The personal statement

• 47 lines, 4,000 characters – approximately 500 words.

• The one aspect where students ‘control’ the content.

• The applicant’s chance to impress and stand out from the crowd – most disciplines do not interview.

• Must outline why a student has chosen to apply to a particular discipline and demonstrate aptitude, suitability and enthusiasm.

The personal statement

• Positive use of space – layout, headings, paragraphs

• Well structured• “show a good use of English, not just correct spelling and

grammar (essential) but a literate and logical style that flows convincingly”

• No spell check facility on Apply

• Analytical, not just descriptive

• Current and relevant

• Individual, but not too different

• Plagiarism – similarity detection software

Useful to include

• Reasons for choosing course

• Work experience

• Career aspirations

• Skills and abilities

• Positions of responsibility

• Interests and hobbies

• Deferred entry

Things to remember

• 75%–80% should focus on subject/profession

• Avoid:• Excessive use of the word I or “from a young age”• Demonstrating passion simply by using the word• Quotes – unless relevant to rest of personal statement

• Enthusiasm and commitment should be obvious from the content• Self-motivation: persistence in gaining relevant work experience; wider

reading – journals/non-curricula texts/broadsheets; contextual understanding

• Don’t just list achievements/activities – has student:• reflected on their experiences and explained what they’ve learnt/gained • Demonstrated skills pertinent to subject area/profession

• Personal statement will form basis for most interviews

Weak personal statements

• Omit to say why they want to study the subject/demonstrates no real insight into the chosen profession

• Have no evidence that an applicant has read the prospectus properly

• Not up-to-date and contains irrelevant material

• “Whilst I really find it interesting to see what well-rounded individuals get up to in their spare time, or via extra curricula school activities, their knowledge and interest in areas likely to apply to the degree is what makes the application stand out”

Primary school teaching is important as I see it as influencing a child from a very young age and giving them the knowledge, understanding and confidence to be able to move on into the bigger stages of life. I prefer working with younger children as I enjoy interacting with them and I have the energy to do so. But most importantly I have chosen this course so that I can carry out my dream of becoming a primary school teacher, something that I have been working towards for so long. For my A-levels I studied the social sciences; economics, business and sociology. Social sciences help me realise that I want to be able to interact and do something which involves others and since teaching has been a big preference of mine I decided that this is what I should do.

Introductory paragraph 1

Education is quite possibly one of the most important things in a person's life; within this teachers can be critical in shaping the lives of others and positively influencing their life chances. Quite simply I have wanted to be a Primary School teacher for as long as I can remember, and cannot see myself doing anything else. I am passionate about education, and how education can really change lives and society. We all want to be inspired and motivated, we all want to achieve our potential, and this for me is the role of the teacher; the one who lights the spark of imagination and creation, the one who brings out the best in their learners. I believe that every child is entitled to a good education; I would like to be the one who inspires children of all abilities, backgrounds and ethnicities to learn, to raise their skills and improve their life chances through encouragement and motivation.

Introductory paragraph 2

Introductory paragraph 3

Believable?

“For as long as I can remember, I have had an interest in the financial world. My interest was first sparked because my grandfather annually put money into stocks to save for my college degree. I wanted to understand what the stock market was and how it differed from a bank, so when I was around 5, I asked my father to explain the stock market to me. Since then I have taken a keen interest in both Business and Economics”.

Introductory paragraph 4

Controversial?

Does the law reflect the agreed values of society? Despite years of equality legislation, contemporary society still encompasses gender inequality and there are many who feel that the law is male. This notion is exemplified in the slow progression of domestic violence legislation and its effects. The fact that no prosecutor should proceed with a case of domestic violence unless there is a real chance of securing a conviction has led to a drop in the number of prosecutions where the female complainant has expressed an unwillingness to testify, troubled by the repercussions. It took until 2004 for the Domestic Violence, Crimes and Victims Act to pass, strengthening legal protection for victims and the powers of police and courts in cases of domestic violence. Reforms to the 2009 Coroners and Justice Act, set to be enforced on the 4 October 2010 may result in rules regarding homicide changing and will rebalance the law in response to changes in public opinion. Is the law adapting to changed social attitudes, or are there factors which prevent change such as the idea that the law reflects a male view? On the contrary, in legislation to prevent discrimination on the grounds of race, age or sexual orientation, the law has often been in advance of public opinion and I am keen to explore this fundamental link between the law and society. After all, the law is about more than just law. The law is of its nature thought-provoking; is it really possible or right to detach emotion from cases? Is upholding the law always the same as providing Justice? Can it ever be right to break laws? Studying law will give me some of the answers and enable me to develop mature and well-informed opinions.

Demonstrates insight, aptitude and enthusiasm

“It was when studying GCSE Psychology that I first began to appreciate the complexity behind human behaviour and the human mind. One of my favourite topics is cognitive development. When studying Piaget’s theory it came to my attention how amazing and meaningful the smallest actions can be. When playing peek-a-boo with my niece she laughs when I cover my eyes and as I cannot see her, she thinks I do not know that she is standing there. I can relate this experience to the pre-operational stage of development when children are egocentric. I also take great interest in Social Psychology, particularly Milgram’s work into obedience which tells us that in situations where there is a presence of an authority figure we are more likely to lose our sense of morals as well as self identify and engage in immoral acts. As someone whose sense of identity developed within the Jewish school I attended, learning Hebrew and Israeli dance, I find the connection between Milgram’s work and the Holocaust compelling and insightful. It is an example of the ways psychology can help us to understand and avoid repeating atrocities of the past.

“I am a resourceful and effective learner, gaining knowledge of all the rudiments of a topic and developing it with depth and substance; the minutiae of legal study will cater to my inquisitive and analytical nature. In a recent talk by a leading solicitor, some aspects of legal practice were described as “a jigsaw puzzle with words” and this analogy sums up perfectly one of the many reasons I wish to study law”.

Ends well

A different personal statement

He-man has always been a strong and charismatic person, but also one of my heroes. He thought for what is right, and battled on numerous occasions with his most hated enemy Skeletor. In some respects he has made me the person I am today. I have always felt very strongly about the bad in the world and in my everyday life, if there is an issue that I feel inflicts pain upon others I will not back away from it. He inspired me to help others when they are in trouble. Like He-man I am very strong-minded, and he has encouraged me to do the absolute best of my ability no matter what the cost.From a young age I have enjoyed art, and animation. My interest started from drawings of Dennis the Menace and Banana-man, to paintings of Edward Munch’s “Scream”. From this I have always been encouraged to pursue art by my family and friends.I also enjoy playing football with my friends, it is a very passionate sport that I follow religiously. I am a huge supporter of the sport and Newcastle United, and believe in five years time I will become the boss of the club and be hailed as the greatest manager of all time.

He-Man

Ambitious?But my one biggest passion in life is film, although I have only been studying the subject for a year I have fallen deeply in love with it. This is the career that I want to follow, this is my destiny. In a way film is a piece of art, and I feel that I can do amazing things when behind the camera. I would love to be one of the best directors in the world, placed in the same sentence as George Lucas and Stephen Speilberg. I dream of one of my films being on the silver screen, making such an impact on the audience. I want to make a film that can drive the emotions of the audience out of them, to make them laugh, think and cry. This is what I want my life to be, and will do anything to achieve it.

I have taken three subjects at the six form college that I believe will be of use to me in the future. Art was my first choice of subject, so far I am enjoying it. I enjoy art as I have one of the greatest teachers in the world. I have also taken Business Studies, I would eventually like to run my own business and feel that this subject has given me a lot of useful insight into the business world. But the one subject I enjoy the most is Media Studies. I like analysing all types of media texts. One aspect of the subject I loved doing was our coursework. We had to work in-groups and produce a trailer for a movie. It was a lot of fun as the group worked well together and we made an excellent trailer.

• I enjoy my time at the college as I can socialise with my friends, and the college has a great atmosphere with a lot of things to do. I have received great response from people about my ambitions, and have been encouraged to what I want to do.

• Next time you read something written about me, it will be in a magazine article. An article about the latest film I have made, and how amazing it is.

Or simply deluded?

The academic reference

• Assessment of applicant’s academic ability and approach to study and suitability for chosen programme of study/profession

• Predicted grades

• Admissions Tutors hope for:• Honesty

• Consistency

• Specific information

• Personal

Introduce school/college

“.... (school website address) is a leading British International School teaching (I)GCSE and the International Baccalaureate (IB). We use English as the language of instruction and 96% of our students attend universities worldwide. From an average cohort of 120 students, 20% consistently achieve 38 points or above for their IB diploma.

“The College is situated on the outskirts of XXX in N. Wales in a region characterised by relatively high unemployment. The College has a dedicated mission to widen participation. There are 24 students in the final year of the IB course at the college. Due to small numbers there has been a need to teach higher and standard students together in the same class. This may impact on the student’s learning experience.”

What to include

• Academic achievement and potential, including predicted results

•Extenuating circumstances

•Suitability for HE and chosen course

•Evidence of commitment to chosen profession

•Professional attributes

•Contribution to college - social as well as academic

•Personal qualities - what would student bring to university

•Other interests - if relevant

Different approaches

• Restricted to introduction to the school/college and individual subject tutors commenting on academic performance - often fails to give insight into personality of applicant and suitability for course and different styles can mean information isn’t easy to access – eg Predictions included within text

• Whole reference written by one subject tutor, who knows student well, but may not provide sufficient academic information on all subjects studies

• Individual subject tutors provide in-depth information, which is then inserted into reference written by one person

Personal insight and academic depth

“XXXX is a student of excellent academic potential who has won the respect of both staff and peers. He has consistently contributed to the academic, sporting and cultural life of the school and proved to be an outstanding Head Boy. He is mature, very hard working, self-motivated and well organised.

In Performing Arts the student is an enthusiastic and committed performer involved in all aspects of practical work. He offers originality and insight during the preparation stages, uses rehearsal time wisely and responds well to constructive criticism. He is admired for his support and encouragement to others and his ability to offer leadership and initiative to move the work forward. The student is prepared to experiment with technique, work independently or as part of an ensemble. He has natural talent, excellent stage presence, a calm and positive attitude and a fierce determination to perform at the highest level. All written work is completed to an exceptionally high standard. His Unit 6 exam paper scored the second highest in the country. The student writes clearly, showing evidence of good research and analytical skills. He is able to evaluate work and offer clear opinions with confidence. Altogether an incredibly impressive student”.

Good references

• Avoid bland statements or ‘production line’ approach

• Are honest about physical/mental health (“Fitness to Practice” for professional courses, eg. teaching and health professions)

• Mention challenges students may have faced – eg. dyslexia and whether they’ve adopted strategies to deal with it

• Demonstrate understanding of course applied for:• Sport Scientists not impressed by claims that applicant will make a great

PE teacher – they’d like to know about their ability to apply science to sport

• “Too many references tell me the applicant loves children, but fails to give any insight into their desire to teach or interest in early years education”

• However… Open references: Admissions Tutors likely to assume this has been written as positively as possible

Suitability for subject or profession

“The student is a very conscientious student with an excellent work ethic. She is a very good role model for other students, displaying a mature attitude to college and her studies. The student has always been very focussed on a career in midwifery and has undertaken relevant work experience at a local hospital. The student is an ideal candidate for the profession. She would bring a good deal of positive energy and enthusiasm to the degree course being someone who can handle work pressure well and remain calm in a crisis. The student would relish the theory element and applying it to the training. She would add value to any higher education institution and later to any employer. We recommend her very highly as an extremely suitable candidate for undergraduate study as a health practitioner”.

How tutors use the reference

Indicator of one aspect of student – Admissions Tutors learn to read between the lines of certain statements:

• “potentially very bright student” – does that indicate not fulfilling potential?

• “student works very hard” – maybe someone whose not naturally gifted, but achieves good results through sheer hard slog?

Looking for indication of whether student might do well at university - aiming to select students who can cope with working independently

Looking for key words – motivation, enthusiasm, punctuality, reliability, team player

Would love references to be more explicit!!

Ready for university

“As all of the student’s teachers will attest, she is a highly able and motivated student who will undoubtedly thrive at university. In all of her lessons she is able to work well both independently and in groups and is always willing to share her opinions and ideas with others. Her attendance is 100% and her punctuality record is excellent. We recommend her to you wholeheartedly”.

Picks up on aspects in personal statement

•Statement: “I did not think much about psychology while growing up in Brazil. At that time, my interest was focused around sports, which remains a passion of mine. Since moving to London at the age of 14, I have faced new challenges everyday, especially coming from a collectivist culture in Brazil to an individualistic culture in UK. I learned that the only way to learn English was to force myself to communicate. I went from being quiet and shy in year 10 to being able to say whatever came into my mind, and to enjoy taking part in conversations and discussions”.•Reference: “The student is a bright, engaged, vivacious student. Her teachers describe her as a real pleasure to teach: she is a positive influence on any situation, and an asset in the classroom.•The student was born in Brazil. She attended two primary schools there before a private Jewish school from the age of 9. Her family moved to the UK in stages, for economic reasons. In September 2006, with no English, the student began year 10 at (name of school) a mixed comprehensive whose 2009 GCSE results had 46% of students achieving 5 A*–C grades. She remembers the difficulties of making sense of classroom discourse in those early months; she had to learn quickly, and with little support. In this context, the student’s GCSE grades, particularly her C in English, represent a remarkable achievement”.

Any questions?