WoW 2016 - Bryan Stewart - Final - 08.10.16

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Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?Critical thinking about the

impacts of what you say and how you say it.

Wild on Wounds 2016Las Vegas, NV09.03.16Bryan J. Stewart #WOW16WTBC

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Learning Objectives

1. General understanding of the impacts of verbal and non-verbal communications.

2. Explore and share knowledge, tools and techniques to help you improve and optimize your communication effectiveness.

3. Have some fun together.

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Agenda

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What are we going to cover today?

Number I.The BasicsNumber II.Body Language & Non-Verbal CommunicationNumber III.ListeningNumber IV.The Power of WordsNumber V.Issue Clearing ModelNumber VI.Crucial Conversations Model

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My Disclaimer

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The Basics

PART I.❶

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Why it matters.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” - George Bernard Shaw

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Elements of Effective

Communication

• What You Say

~One Way vs Two Way~Words Matter

• How You Say It

~Four Communication Styles~Body Language (Yours and Theirs)

• How You Receive

~Active Listening~Empathy

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Verbal vs Non-Verbal

More than 65% of our communications are non-verbal…

> 35% of our communications come from the words that we speak

> 65%

“Communication consists of both verbal and non-verbal signals. As a result, humans are continuously communicating not just thoughts, ideas, and opinions but also feelings and emotions.” - Morreale, Spitzberg & Barge, 2001

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Listening

• Active

• Passive

• Empathy

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Communication is hard.

You can improve if you invest the time and effort.

Key Points

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Body Language &

Non-Verbal Communication

PART II.❶

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Why it matters.

Actions > Words

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The 5 Power Poses

The Standard

Flare

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The 5 Power Poses

The Lap

Cross Megaphon

e

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The 5 Power Poses

The Bro

Spread

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The 5 Power Poses

The Table Cross

Megaphone

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The 5 Power Poses

The Mr.

President

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Fake It Until You Make It

• Power Posing

~Mental~Physical

• Try It

~Before~During~After

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Common Poses and Gestures

“This and That”

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“Open Wide”

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“The Triangle”

aka “The Mr.

Wonderful”

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“Knife Hands”

“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody

you meet.”

U.S. Marine General James “Mad Dog”

Mattis#WOW16WTBC

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“All About Me”

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“Open and Up”#WOW16WTBC

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What do you see?#WOW16W

TBC

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Common Poses and GesturesThe Hand

Spectrum

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Hands Matter

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Hands Matter

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The Power of the Feet• Kicking

• Crossing

• Pointing

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Congruence

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Congruence

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Congruence

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Actions > Words

Find and use a “mirror”.

Key Points

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Potential Mistakes

• Negative Default

• No Context Consideration

• All in One

• No Know Baseline

• Blasting Biases#WOW16W

TBC

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What about you?

Examples

• Misunderstood

• Common Traps

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Listening

PART II.❶

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Active Listening

• Illusion of 1st Words

• Check Yourself

• Strive to Understand

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The Power of Words

PART IV.❶

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I am sorry. Three Little Words

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Please forgive me.Three Little Words

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How are you (really)? Three Little Words

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Words matter.

How they are delivered matters.

Key Points

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Issue Clearing Model

PART V.❶

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1. I have an issue I’d like to clear with you.

Is now a good time?

2. The specific facts are…..

3. I think….my judgment is….my opinion

is….

4. I feel….

5. My part in this is….

6. And what I specifically want is….

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Issue Clearing

Model

7. Let me see if I understand you….what I hear is….

8. Is that accurate…..am I on target?

9. Is there more?

10. Are we clean and clear about

this?#WOW16W

TBC

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• About being heard, not necessarily about resolving the issue.

• You can never negotiate with emotion.

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Crucial Conversations Model(CCM)

PART VI.❶

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The CCM

1. Definition

Discussion between two or more people.

2. Dialogue

The free flow of meaning between two or more people.

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The CCM

3. Purpose• Fill the pool• Better meaning =

better outcome

4. Start with yourself• What do you really

want and not want?

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The CCM

5. Notice when safety is at risk

6. Make it safe

7. Mastering stories

8. Dialogue to action

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The CCM

9. Tips and tricks

• Waiting doesn’t usually help

• Works in all directions

• Look for patterns

• Practice zooming out#WOW16WTBC

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Tools are onlygood if you use them.

Key Points

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Summary

Number I.The BasicsNumber II.Body LanguageNumber III.ListeningNumber IV.The Power of WordsNumber V.Issue Clearing ModelNumber VI.Crucial Conversations Model

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Three Challenges

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Find a “Mirror”

Ask someone to be your mirror, maybe at home and/or at work.

• Do an audit.

~What are you saying without talking?

~Are you congruent?

• Agree on a sign.

1. ChallengeHOW?

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Three Words

2. Challenge HOW?

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Think about people in your life that can benefit by the power of your three words.

• Try it.

~How did you feel?~How did they respond?

• Repeat as often as needed/possible.

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Clear One

3. ChallengeHOW?

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Think about someone that you need to get “clean and clear” with.

• Map it out.

~Use the framework to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it.

~ Just do it.

• Repeat as often as needed/possible.

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Bryan J. Stewart

[email protected]

904.416.6565 Let’s Connect

bryanjstewart

bjstewart

#WOW16WTBC

Clear OneStay wild and I hope to see you next year!

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WoW 2016 - Bryan Stewart - Final - 08.10.16

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