April 2011

Content:____________Page 1___________What’s NewCambridge Day Ukraine 2011IELTS Training SeminarA New Contract with Donbass PalaceWhat’s OnIIntensive English Summer Courses

____________Page 2___________Special IssueFun Is in the AirEducational Humour

____________Page 3___________Creative writingWitty Quotes by Famous PeopleWitty Quotes by Famous People

____________Page 4___________Kid’s pageAmusing poemsReady, steady, guess!

____________Page 5___________IdiomsFFunny Idioms Test

____________Page 6___________Business Successful Business StoriesExamsCambridge ESOL's exam - IELTS

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Intensive English Summer CoursesWorldCenter has announced an exceptionally attractive offer for Intensive English Summer Courses. WorldCenter cares about its customers and thus presents 30% discount, free course books and a bonus certicate for one month English language training in in September 2011 provided students prepay for the Intensive English Summer Course before May 30, 2011. Intensive English Summer Courses start on Jun. 1, 2011. Do not hesitate and seize this opportunity with both hands!

Cambridge Day Ukraine 2011Marina Cherkez the Head Teacher for Young Learners attended the Second Cambridge Conference in Kiev on Mar. 29. The event was organized by Cambridge University Press, British Council, University of Cambridge ESOL Examinations, and Linguist Linguist Ltd. Two outstanding personalities Dr. Herbert Puchta a writer, an international teacher trainer, and the current president of the International Association of Teachers of English as a Foreign Language and Jane Allemano a teacher educator at the Institute of Education and University of London shared their knowledge and rsand rst-hand teaching experience with the participants. The speakers discussed effective teaching of young learners and teens as well as preparation and passing of Cambridge ESOL Examinations (Starters, Movers, Flyers, KET, PET, FCE for Schools). Every participant was presented with Dr. Herbert Puchta’s new book ‘English in Mind’. Marina CherMarina Cherkez is eager to introduce new teaching methods into her classroom for the benet of every student.

Dr. Herbert Puchta

IELTS Training SeminarWorldCenter Executive Manager Iryna Yeromenko took part in a training seminar IELTS: Methodology of Exam Preparation and Assessment conducted in Kiev on Mar. 29-30, 2011 by Mr. Andrew Thomas – IELTS Principal Examiner, IELTS Examiner Trainer. TThe program thoroughly covered and provided intensive training in the following areas:- methodology of preparation for Listening section,- methodology of preparation for Reading section,- methodology of preparation for Writing section,- methodology of preparation for Speaking section,

- exam structure,- typical mistakes among candidates form Russia and Ukraine,- prediction and elimination of weaknesses,- most effective resources for IELTS preparation.

We are honored to be among as few as only 30 English Language t30 English Language trainers in Ukraine to be able to acquire “secrets” of IELTS preparation form Mr. Andrew Thomas, one of the very people who develop the exam tasks. Be sure to sign for the EILTS preparation course at WorldCenter and you will denitely ace the exam!

A New Contract with Donbass PalaceDonbass Palace has signed a new contract with WorldCenter to continue its employees’ English language training. WorldCenter is always at the service of its customers and partners. And we are happy to establish long-term cooperation with with Donbass Palace and are honored to be highly appreciated and esteemed.

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Teacher: You weren't at school last Friday, Andrew. I heard you were at the cinema.Student: That's not true. And I've got the tickets from the football game to prove it.

The most famous jokes are classied as The top 100 April Fool's Day hoaxes of all time, among them are changing the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0, footage of Adélie penguins taking to the air, letdown the UFO in London, moving the Eiffel Tower, selling of the leleft-handed whopper.

Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?Class: At once!

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."The little girl replied, "My homework."

The child comes home from his rst day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

The more we study, the more we know.The more we know, the more we forget.The more we forget, the less we know.The less we know, the less we forget.The less we forget, the more we know.Why study?

Educational Humour

Fun Is in the AirApril 1 stands out as the only holiday that celebrates foolishness. April Fools' Day, or All Fools Day, is an odd celebration with a strange history. What other holiday asks us to play tricks and dupe our unsuspecting friends and acquaintances?TThere is some uncertainty about when and where this bizarre tradition began, but the most accepted explanation traces April Fools' Day back to the16th century France. Up until 1564, the accepted calendar was the Julian calendar, which observed the beginning of the New Year around April. According to "The Oxford Companion to the Year," KKing Charles IX then declared that France would begin using the Gregorian calendar, which shifted New Year's Day to January 1. Not everyone accepted this shifting of dates at the same timsame time. Some believed that the dates should not be shifted, and it was these people who became the butt of some of some April jokes and were mocked as fools. People sent gifts and invited them to bogus parties. Citizens in the rural parts of France were also victims of these jokes. In those days, news traveled slowly and they might not have known about the shifting of dates for months or years. These people also endured being made fun of for celebrating the New New Year on the wrong day. There are lots of hoaxes in our time. The hoax of the century was in 1957, when the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announthis announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

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A Former Teacher StoryThere's a town where there's a famous horse race once a year, one the Queen and other members of the royal family go to watch. Afterwards, they drive slowly out of the town, and people come out to wave to them. A former teacher told me that years ago, she worked at a school on the Queen's route out of the town, and at a school on the Queen's route out of the town, and she knew the Queen would be travelling past there

a couple of hours after the race, because she always did. It was held on a schoolday in those days. On the day of the race, she told her class of little children that if they came back to where the school was a couple of hours after school had nished with their parents, and looked out for a black car travelling slowly with owers on it, it would be the queen, andslowly with owers on it, it would be the queen, andthey could cheer as she went past. At breaktime, she went into the staffroom. The teachers in there heard a great cheering and yelling from outside. They went to see what was going on, and they saw all the children near the school railings, loudly cheering and waving while a hearse was going by.hearse was going by. Witty Quotes by Famous People

This story happened to me when I was 15. My friend Nastya and I were at the sea. One evening we were lying on a beach, with few people around us. I saw a handsome single guy. I wanted to get acquainted with him. Of course I could not just approach him and say “Hi! What’s up?”, because I was an unattainable and proud girl. So I came up with a devious plan how and proud girl. So I came up with a devious plan how to attract his attention. I went swimming. I tried to swim and dive to make him understand that I was awesome and beautiful. And I was on cloud nine when I saw him looking at me and smiling. I thought that I was a queen of beauty, since such a cute boy smiled at me. But then I noticed that Nastya showed me something on her head. I came up to her and… me something on her head. I came up to her and… Surprise! My hair was all covered with algae. So I looked ridiculous with such a hairstyle and that was exactly what attracted the handsome boy’s attention. It was not my heavenly beauty, just stupid algae.I didn’t meet the boy, but I laughed heartily.

Teachers and students share their embarrassing but hilarious experience to improve your mood.

The Beauty Queen

Hot Male I was teaching a class of students with computers and had shown them the differences between formal and informal writing styles. To put this into practice I asked the students to write an email to each other about what they did last weekend. The majority did not have what they did last weekend. The majority did not have email addresses so I suggested that the whole class logged on to Hotmail.com. Unfortunately, over half the class typed in HOTMALE.COM and were looking at...well I am sure you can imagine what they were looking at!

Little MissLittle Miss Muffet sat on a tuffetEating a Big Mac and friesAlong came a spider and sat down beside her'Yuck', it said, 'I prefer ies'.

A Knotty ProblemA scarf for a giraffe

Would be forty feet longBut how would a giraffeKnow how to put one on?

Radiator GuyRadiator guy won’t you come out tonight,My heart is cold, my head is light,Come let the water through my system,Heat my pipes, catalogue them, list them,Stoke my boiler, clank my chain,MMake my heating work again.

Dogged DeterminationIf a dog from Dalmatia,Is called a Dalmatian,

And one from The Alsace,Is called an AlsatianWhy does Li Wong,

WWho comes from Hong Kong,Call his dog

Char Sui Chow Mein?

Mars WalkAfter many years of tryingAnd years of deep space yingAfter journeying across the starsWe nally land a man on MarsHe begins his walk at sunriseAAnd then he nds to his surpriseAfter exploring near and farAn Irish pub and a burger bar.

1. A place where you can laugh a lot.2. It prolongs your life.3. An amusing story.4. All clowns in the world have it on their faces.5. A smile is impossible without them.6. Usually you are told to do so when someone takes a photakes a photo of you.7. A synonym of enjoyment.8. Your ……. is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you..9. This person works in a circus.

The answers will be published in the next

WorldScribbler issue.

Answers to the previous issue’s tasksRhyming Words Spring Word Search

1. RAKE, 2. RING, 3. WAWE, 4. PARROT, 5. SHEEP – SH+ SL (or – H + L), 6. MOON – M + SP, 7. JUG – J + B, 8. CLOWN – CL +T = TOWN, 8. CLOWN – CL +T = TOWN, 9. BALL / WALL, 10. SKY

Answers to the previous issue’s tasksIdioms 'Feelings': 1 H, 2 F, 3 B, 4 D, 5 A, 6 E, 7 G, 8 CBrain Teezers: 1. N for November; 2. N for Nine; 3. ONE WORD; 4. When its a Roman Numeral: F(IV)E; 5. Sponge; 6. Your mom is their aunt; 7. Noise; 8. Stop imagining; 9. A Friend in Need; 10. Short; 11. 11. For instance; 12. Dinosaurs laid eggs long before there were chickens.

Match the following idioms (numbers) with their meanings (letters).

1 The entire evening was funny as a barrel of monkeys.2 The well-dressed lady slipped and fell in the gutter, which was funny as a crutch.3 The bank teller spotted the funny money in the man's deposit almost immedideposit almost immediately.4 That's enough monkey business. Now, settle down. Stop the funny business. This is serious!5 I knew I would crack up during the love scene

A counterfeit money; money that has been printed by criminals, or which has come from dishonest activitiesB to laughCC not funny at allD silliness; dishonest tricksE very funny

1. Do you want to know why I've got a bee in my bonnet?a) a headacheb) a y in my headc) a problem on my mindd) a difficulty with my hair

2. 2. Yes, tell me about it. I'm all ears.a) listening carefullyb) listening quietlyc) listening quicklyd) listening completely

3. You remember I told you about that car that cost me an arm and a leg?a) a fair amoua) a fair amount of moneyb) a small amount of moneyc) a good amount of moneyd) a huge amount of money

4. The one you bought from the man you called the big cheese?a) the man with big earsbb) the man with the important jobc) the man with the yellow teethd) the man with the big smile

5. Well, he's not that at all. He's a bird brain.a) a foolb) a criminalc) a conmand) an old mand) an old man

6. You mean he's a bad egg?a) a disgusting personb) a dirty personc) a stupid persond) a dishonest person

7. Yes, exactly because the car is rubbish and I went rround to his garage like a bull in a china shop in the show room.a) shouting at himb) knocking everything overc) running up to himd) hitting everybody

8. And when I reached his office I saw he was not really awake because he'd been having a cat nap.a) a deep sleepb) a long sleepc) a short sleepd) a big sleep

9. 9. And really the only reason you were there was because you had a bone to pick with him?a) you wanted to have a discussion with himb) you wanted to have a chat with himc) you wanted to have a ght with himd) you wanted to have an argument with him

10. Yes, that's right. I got my money back and as a result I oopened up a whole new can of worms because other people got their money back, too.a) made a complete mess of his officeb) exposed a lot of serious problemsc) discovered some creatures on the carpetd) revealed a lot of new paper work

IDIOMS

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BUSINESS EXAMS IELTS (International English Language Testing System) is Cambridge ESOL's (English for Speakers of Other languages) exam, designed to assess the language ability of candidates who want to study or work where English is the language of communication. IEIELTS is assessing English language skills at all levels. There are two modules to choose from – Academic and General Training. The Academic module is for candidates wishing to study at undergraduate or postgraduate levels , and for those seeking professional registration. Over 1.4 million candidates take the test each year to start their journeys into iinternational education and employment. IELTS is recognised by more than 6000 institutions in over 135 countries. IELTS is the test that sets the standard. The General Training module is for candidates wishing to migrate to an English speaking country (Australia, Canada, New Zealand, UK), and for those wishing to train or study at below degree level.

BBoth modules cover all four language skills - listening, reading, writing and speaking. Everyone takes the same Listening and Speaking tests. There are different Reading and Writing tests for the Academic and General Training modules.

There is no such thing as a pass or fail in IELTS. Results are reported as band scores on a scale from 1 (the l1 (the lowest) to 9 (the highest).

IELTS courses at WorldCenter will help you to pass the exam with ying colours. For more information visit http://www.ielts.org/default.aspx .

Editor-in-Chief: Svetlana Yaroshenko.

Contributors: Juliana Volodskaya, Anastasia Papush, Anastasia Starchenko,

Sergio Medgaus, Iryna Yeromenko, Kate Novodvorskaya, Marina Cherkez,

Daria Baevskaya.

WorldCenter, 29b Schorsa, Donetsk, Ukraine, 83055

+380 62 206 63 43

+380 62 206 63 44 Tel.Fax

Email: info@worldcenter.com.ua

www.worldcenter.com.ua WorldScribbler, 2011

Clever business at a young ageA policeman had a perfect hiding place to screen speeding drivers. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit. The officer investigated: a 9 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand-painted sign which said "SPEED CAMERA AHEAD."A little moA little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's partner in crime, another boy about 200 meters beyond the speed camera with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet full of coins.

A Well-Planned RetirementOutside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were $1.40 for cars, $7 for buses. Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a dday of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility. The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee. The City Council responded that the lot aattendant had never been on the City payroll. Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy.... is an enterprising man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per dday – for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million…and no one even knows his name.

Answers to the previous issue’s taskBusiness 'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' 1-3 habits refer to personal independence4-6 habits are dealing with interdependence 7 habit is about self-rejuvenation

Do you experience lack of ideas to start a business? Discover new ways of making a fortune with this month’s business stories.