Working With Gifted Children...Strong hereditary component Parents are often gifted themselves....

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STAR Seminar, Semel Institute, LA 2019 drvula.com

Common Characteristics and Treatment Considerations

Vula Baliotis, Ph.D.Clinical Psychologist in Private PracticeSanta Monica and Torrance

Working With Gifted Children:


What is “Gifted?”

A loaded word:

Not about being “special.”

Not related to one’s worth as a human being.

There is disagreement in the field as to what the term “gifted” refers to and what areas giftedness covers.

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Federal Definition of Gifted & Talented

“...by virtue of outstanding abilities are

capable of high performance.”

Necessitate “differentiated educational programs

and/or services beyond those normally provided by the regular school program

in order to realize their contribution to self and

society.”


Tsien’s Definition of Intelligence

“...the central mission of intelligence is to solve various problems in their natural and

social environments in order to survive and thrive. This means

that intelligence is ultimately about the ability to self-discover knowledge and patterns from

a world full of uncertainties and infinite possibilities.”

(2016, p. 2)

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Giftedness and IQ

• Average IQ is 90-110– 25th-75th percentile

– Mean=100, SD=15

– 68% of the population

• “Giftedness” starts at 130– 98th percentile and above

– Very Superior range

– 2.2% of the population

To compare:

• Average IQ of people graduating college is 120 (Superior/High Average)

• Average IQ of executives, attorneys, scientists, and physicians is 125 (Superior)


Classifications of Giftedness

Classification Standard Score Percentile Rank

Gifted (Very Superior) 130-137 98-99

Highly Gifted 138-144 99-99.8

Exceptionally Gifted 145-151 99.9->99.9

Profoundly Gifted 152 and above >99.9

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Common Myths

Only good at

one thing

Can’t have a learning disability

Are Are organized/ have good

study skills

Don’t experience difficulties in school

Don’t experience difficulties in school

Will become

successful adults

Will become

successful adults

Are as

advanced

Are as emotionally

as intellectually advanced

Are show-offs about

their abilities

Are show-offs about

their abilities


Common Myths

Good at everything

Born that way—it’s all genetic

Born that way—it’s all genetic

Don’t have to try hard

Are weird nerds

Are weird nerds

Are proud and

arrogant

Are typically valued for

their abilities

Are typically valued for

their abilities

Don’t have special educational needs

Don’t have special educational needs

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Hereditary or Environmental?

Strong hereditary componentParents are often gifted themselves.

Siblings also tend to be gifted.(Not always the case)

Most likely to flourish in a

supportive environment

Abilities are developed & evolve through:Exposure

Practice/use

OpportunityAn emerging experience


Cognitive Characteristics

Strong Verbal Abilities

• Start speaking earlier than other children

• Have unusually large vocabularies

• Speak in complex sentences

• Read early and avidly– Often teach themselves to

read

Abstract and Applied Thinking

• Understand abstract concepts

• Can compare & contrast, find similarities & differences

• Understand connotations & nuances of words

• Utilize metacognition

• Can apply knowledge to work out problems

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Complex Thinking

• Seek cognitive stimulation

• Go toward difficult problems

• Understand complex connections between systems and structures

• Like problems with multiple answers, possibilities, or solutions

• Can become bored if tasks are too simple or mundane



Divergent & Synergistic Thinking

• Seek new perspectives and novel ideas.

• Strong in divergent (breaking apart) and synergistic (putting together to create something new) thinking.

• Question conventional ways of thinking, think “outside the box.”

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Intense Curiosity and Passion

• Curious and inquisitive– Favorite question is “Why?”

• Restless and impulsive

• Self-motivated, driven to learn and to be challenged

• Passionate about beliefs/ideas in debates and conversations

• Some of their questions can seem inappropriate



• Resist following a direction without first receiving an adequate explanation

• Tend to be leaders

• Don’t conform– “Because that’s our religion/tradition”

• Defy rules or authority

• Experience power struggles with authority

• Can seem oppositional, bossy, disrespectful, and difficult to work with

Independent Thinking

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Broad Interests & Multitalented

• Intensely interested in many things at the same time.

• Shift from one interest to the next.

• Can work on multiple things at the same time.

• Have difficulty choosing between competing interests and talents.

• Can seem disorganized or scattered.(Some have tunnel vision—intense focus on one or a couple of interests)

May have difficulty completing tasks because they are interested in too

many things and need constant novelty.



• Creative problem-solvers; imaginative and fluid

• Have vivid visualizations and dreams– Create elaborate stories

– Often have imaginary playmates or pets

– May combine truth & fiction

– Movies, stories, and dreams can be felt as real

Imaginative and Creative

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Sense of Humor

May invent riddles and puns.

Delight in word-play.“Why are dinos sore?” (dinosaur)

Humor might seem unusual to others.



Seek Knowledge and Understanding

Search for truth and meaning to existential questions.

Seek answers to questions.“Why is the sky blue?”

“Why does God get to be so bossy but I am not allowed to?”

Aren’t satisfied with superficial answers.“That’s just how it’s done.”

“Because I said so.”

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• Can focus on many things at the same time

• Become all-consumed in what they’re doing, when interested

• Notice details others miss

• Strong attention/focus over a long timespan

• Can't switch off thinking

Intense Focus & Concentration



Interest in Experimenting

• Take things apart to learn how they are made, then put them back together.

• Mix things together to see what they become or how they taste.

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Perfectionism

• High self-expectations and standards for their endeavors

• Low tolerance for mediocrity

• Allow little room for mistakes, failure, or inadequacies

• Expect themselves to already know

• Self-critical, can feel inadequate, like an imposter/fraud

• Have difficulty taking credit for their accomplishments

• Can become frustrated with and disappointed by others’ failings too

Tyranny of the Superior One


Underachievement

• More aware than peers of what is possible to achieve

• Might feel beaten down and give up before they even try

• Feel unable to meet their or others’ expectations

• Low self-esteem may lead them to

– Perform below their gifted potential

– Avoid or rebel against tasks

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Emotional Characteristics

Experience depth of intensity, regardless of the feeling.

Feelings and beliefs are passionate.

May feel “at one” with the universe or “all alone in this world.”

Stronger emotions may lead to depression (instead of sadness) and outbursts (instead of being

upset).

Intensity



• Intensity can be externalized (e.g., temper tantrums) or internalized (e.g., beating up on themselves)

• Intensities can overwhelm them and others

• Can blame themselves for these characteristics

Intensity

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• Highly emotional/reactive

• Acutely aware of their feelings and differentness

• More aware of adult conversations and adult concerns than typical kids– E.g., current events

• Aware of sensual aspects of their environment

Sensitivity



Sensitivity

• Sensitive to others’ feelings

• Pick up on the “feeling tone” of situations

• Experience a strong identification with others

• Develop deep attachments

• Need authenticity

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• Burdened by more to process (as compared to other children)

• Feel angst or excessive worries that they do not have the tools to deal with

• May have difficulty self-regulating

• Can feel alienated, lonely, ashamed, and decreased self-esteem

• May lead to depression/anxiety

Sensitivity

Hurt easily, can feel pain and conflict deeply.


Highly responsive to others’ needs and expectations

(May help, even at a cost to themselves)


Can pick up on complexity of personalities and social dynamics.

Can simultaneously consider multiple

aspects and layers of situations.

Perceptiveness

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Can see the “underneath meaning,” which often is missed by other children.

Pick up on social facades, disingenuousness, and

hypocrisy.

Recognize underlying motivations and dynamics.

Perceptiveness



Intuitive

Aware of even small changes in their environment

Feedback they often receive: “It’s all in your head.”

“You’re just being sensitive.”

May lead gifted children to question their perceptions and to feel badly

about themselves because they see themselves as different.

Perceptiveness

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•Strong Strong Moral Conviction and a Global View

• Idealistic, passionate about fairness and truth

• Focused on the rules of life

• Can’t tolerate hypocrisy or understand why others can

• May break down in tears or exhibit righteous indignation at an injustice toward themselves or others.

• Deeply committed to others and to social or political concerns

• Compassionate toward humanity and the wellbeing of other living creatures– Great capacity for empathy,

especially for vulnerable ones


Twice Exceptionality (2e)

Disabilities may include:• Specific learning disability

• Speech and language disorder

• Emotional/behavioral disorder

• Physical disability

• A mental disorder, such as– Autism spectrum disorder

– Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (AD/HD)

– Executive functioning difficulties

– Anxiety or depression

Intellectually gifted individuals who also have one or more special needs or disabilities, as

defined by federal or state eligibility

criteria.

(National Association

for Gifted Children)

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• Giftedness – May be “overshadowed” by their

disabilities.

– May help them to compensate, thereby “masking” their learning deficits.

• Special educational needs often are overlooked– Until adolescence or later.

– Or never identified throughout one’s lifetime.

(National Association for Gifted Children)

Like other gifted learners,

individuals who are 2e are very knowledgeable

and talented in at least one area.

BUT...



• Inconsistent academic performance

• Frustration, lack of motivation, giving up, and underachievement

• Loss of curiosity and love of learning

• Lowered self-esteem and self-efficacy, feeling like a fraud

• Confusion and frustration from parents and teachers

• Misinterpretation of behavior, including labels such as “lazy” or “defiant”

Students who are 2e often have difficulties with

their school environment and with academic

demands.

(National Association

for Gifted Children)

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Asynchronous Development

• Uneven development in cognitive, emotional, and physical abilities, skills, and talents

– Often seen as significant differences on cognitive ability or achievement tests

• Mismatched experience between a gifted child and a non-gifted peer

00.5

11.5

22.5

33.5

44.5

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Asynchrony is pervasive and often very

noticeable in gifted children

(and adults).

Asynchrony is pervasive and often very

noticeable in gifted children

(and adults).

Those with higher levels of giftedness tend to have more extreme

asynchronous development.

Those with higher levels of giftedness tend to have more extreme

asynchronous development.

Some experts believe that asynchronous development—not

ability—is the “defining characteristic” of

giftedness.

Some experts believe that asynchronous development—not

ability—is the “defining characteristic” of

giftedness.National Association

for Gifted Children

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Asynchronous development adds

additional “emotional charge” to intensities.

• Creates psychic conflict in self-definition

• Know enough to be aware of what they cannot yet do


Effects of Asynchronous Development

Creates:

• Intense internal pressure

• Impossible self-expectations and sense of powerlessness

• “Out-of-sync” feelings

• Feeling like an “alien”

• Confusion & frustration (child & others)

• Shame, disappointment, like a failure

• Giving up on oneself

“What’s wrong with me?”

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Overexcitabilities (OEs)

• Feel higher-than-average neuronal sensitivity to sensory stimuli.

• Demonstrate a “uniquely heightened way of experiencing and responding to their environment.” (Karpinskia & Borowskid, 2018)

• Life experiences are heightened.

• Sensitivity and intensity are found at all ends of the spectrum.


Types of Overexcitability

Intellectual Emotional

Imaginational Psychomotor

Sensual

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OEs, Giftedness, and Creativity

A relationship has been found between creativity/giftedness and

having OEs.

In adults and children

Especially intellectual, emotional, and imaginational OEs

(Ackerman, 1997; Bouchet & Falk, 2001; Dabrowski, 1972; Gallagher, 1986; Miller, Silverman, & Falk, 1994; Piechowski,

Sliverman, & Falk, 1985; Schiever, 1985; Silverman & Ellsworth, 1981)

OEs are not exclusive to gifted or creative individuals.

Giftedness/Creativity OEs


People often are overwhelmed by gifted children’s intensities and OEs, seeing them as “too much.”People often are overwhelmed by gifted children’s intensities and OEs, seeing them as “too much.”

Interpersonal (including familial) conflict and isolation can occur.

(Gallagher, 1958; Morawska & Sanders, 2009)

Interpersonal (including familial) conflict and isolation can occur.

(Gallagher, 1958; Morawska & Sanders, 2009)

Gifted children may have a “crisis of self, as they attempt to minimize their responses to better adapt and fit in with the vast statistical majority around them.” (Average IQ)

(Karpinskia & Borowskid, 2018)

Gifted children may have a “crisis of self, as they attempt to minimize their responses to better adapt and fit in with the vast statistical majority around them.” (Average IQ)


Impact of Intensities/OEs

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Blessing or Curse?


Blessing or Curse?

“The highly intelligent individual has a remarkable capacity for seeing and internalizing...vast

uncertainties, possibilities, and problems. This gift can either be a catalyst for empowerment and

self-actualization or it can be a predictor of dysregulation and debilitation....”


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Giftedness and Illness

Mood Disorders

Anxiety Disorders

Autism Spectrum Disorder

AD/HD

Compared to national averages, highly intelligent

individuals are at a significantly greater risk for:

…and for conditions involving inflammation and dysregulation

of the immune system, including:

AllergiesAllergies

AsthmaAsthma

Autoimmune DiseaseAutoimmune Disease



Problematic Mental Health Conceptualizations

• Mental health is viewed as:– Absence of mental illness– Being adjusted to environmental

and societal norms– Internal balance and equilibrium– Presence of wellbeing and life

satisfaction

• Mental health treatment – Focuses on reducing “problematic”

symptoms – Minimizes developmental work

(Mika, 2008)

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Dabrowski’s View of Mental Health

• Mental health is a process (not a state).

• Involves the development of an individual personality thorough and deep evaluation of one’s values.

• Many “pathological” mental states (inner conflict, sadness, anxiety) are necessary in order to reach personality growth.

– Pathological: Symptoms are stagnant or adevelopmental.

– Not pathological: Symptoms show potential for development (through positive disintegration).

(Mika, 2008)

“Prolonged periods or more permanent states of well-being

are characteristic for people with diminished sensitivity

toward themselves and others, and to the existential realities

of human life in general.”

(Mika, 2008, p. 149)


Entelechy

• An imperative toward self-determination and self-actualization

• An intense desire and deep need to be the most that one can be

• Achievement-oriented– Difference between perfectionism

found with entelechy and problematic perfectionism

• Strong leadership qualities– Inspire others toward growth

Inner strength and vitality to realize of one’s potential

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Treatment Considerations


The Columbus Group Definition of Giftedness

Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened

intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from

the norm. This asynchrony increases with the higher the intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable

and requires modifications in parenting, teaching, occupational therapy, and counseling in order for

them to develop optimally.

(1990)

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Sense of Self

• Know, understand, and accept one’s whole self

• Learn how to sustain identity, despite pressure to conform– Play into social facades or risk

being rejected?

– How to be authentic without alienating others

• Accept imperfections, limitations, and vulnerabilities– Mourn mortality and the limits of

time and space

• Set limits and time to rest

Listen to intuition and unique, creative voice.


Sense of Self

Address complex and tricky defenses:

Rationalization

Intellectualization

Sublimation

Appreciate assets of giftedness and the good that can come from them

• Can have impact in changing the world

• Willing to stand up for own ideas, what is fair and moral, etc.

• Sensitive, caring, and giving to others

• Have richness/depth of feelings and experiences

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Interpersonal

• May feel burdened by others’ needs and expectations.

• Set clear boundaries and limits on what they can give.

• “Connected but separate”

• Therapeutic relationship can be used as a model.

Find balance between focusing on

intrapersonal and interpersonal needs.

Me Others


Interpersonal

• May be more interested in one’s own mind than in “light” or meaningless relationships.

• May be socially awkward but really want connections.

• May differ from peers in interests.

• Needs like-minded people.

• May need a variety of friends, each who can provide something meaningful and reflect a certain aspect of her/himself.

Facilitate

Social Support(as needed)

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Interpersonal

• Empathize with others’ needs, even if they may seem “irrelevant.”

• Understand the impact their giftedness might have on others.

• Reduce unrealistic expectations of others.

• Understand that others may not experience the world as they do.

• Respect others’ level of thinking, feeling, and intensities.

Appreciate what relationships with

others can offer them.


Emotional

• Increase “feeling vocabulary” to address complex, nuanced feelings.

• Increase frustration tolerance, and improve self-regulation.

• Accept all feelings and their intensity.

– Even difficult ones are alright and tolerable

• Grieve the loneliness of being different and experiencing rarely-matched intensity.

• Help develop the capacity to “sit with the questions.”

– Especially when it comes to existential questions

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Coping

• Learn communication skills (listening and responding appropriately).

• Anticipate and prepare for physical and emotional responses.

• Find intellectual, emotional, and physical outlets for high levels of energy and overexcitabilities.

• Come to accept that intensities are here to stay– Don’t try to get rid of them

– Learn how to pay attention to them, think about them (mentalize), and regulate them


Coping

• Find avenues to do something meaningful– To express ideas, emotions, insight,

and creativity

– To address sensitivities and existential angst

• Cultivate relationships with role models who “get” them.

• Use other famous gifted people as role models.

Utilize intellectual skills, creativity, and curiosity to address

emotional difficulties.

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Parents

• Feel discounted, mistrusted, and judged– “Who do you think you are to think your

child is gifted?”

• Feel isolated or alienated, as they try to figure out how to best parent their child

• Question their own judgment and assessment of their child

• Have to contend with society’s rejection of and negative reactions toward their gifted child– Society values conformity, and gifted

children often don’t conform to these standards

“Why is your child having all of these problems if she

is so smart?”

“Why don’t you do what I do with my child?”


Parents

Trauma or pain surrounding how others treated parents’ childhood intensities can

unconsciously affect how parents now deal with their child’s intensities.

They can become anxious and scared when they see their gifted child struggle.

“Is my child going to make it in this world?”

“Am I damaged goods, and did I create a child who is damaged goods?”

Their anxiety can escalate child’s feelings.

Parents can become especially triggered when their child is

emotionally intense.

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How Parents Can Help Their Gifted Child

• Support children’s need to seek knowledge, understanding, and truth, regardless of age.

• Provide opportunities for intellectual interests to be pursued– Will need to become a

strong advocate in academic settings

– May need an assessment

• Help find ways for child to address concerns, make an impact, and experience self-efficacy– Work in a soup kitchen

– Start up a group focusing on child’s interest

– Write a letter about a concern

• Must still set appropriate boundaries– May need to explain why.


How Parents Can Help Their Gifted Child

The most important aspects of gifted children’s development are

healthy parent-child and family relationships and strong parental

support.

Parents must show that they are genuinely listening with curiosity and that they can

understand their child’s perspective (even if they don’t agree with it).

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Therapists

• Become knowledgeable about literature on giftedness and creativity.

• Understand that the intellect might be the way in – But that intellectual understanding is

not enough for true change

• Be willing to say, “I don’t know.”

• Embrace the complexity of the patient’s feelings and thoughts.

Be intellectually curious, playful, and flexible.


Therapists

• Be authentic, genuine, and trustworthy.– Gifted children have a strong

radar for phoniness.

• Really listen and don’t infantalize.

• Don’t over-diagnose or misdiagnose– Especially overexcitabilities

• Take seriously their concerns, perspectives, & self-knowledge.

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Therapists

Be mindful of patients’ vulnerabilities and sensitivities.

• May be sharing very intimate parts of themselves that they have not felt safe sharing with anyone else.

• Likely to have felt alone with their feelings/thoughts.

• May have felt ashamed and disenfranchised (given others’ biases or lack of understanding).

Do not try to get rid of intense feelings.

Bear them with patient,instead of trying to fix them.


Therapists’ Countertransference

• Biases toward giftedness– Remember that gifted

patients are likely to be very perceptive.

• Feelings toward one’s own giftedness (or about not having been identified as gifted)– Feeling “less than” or

intimidated

• Understand projections without taking them personally.– “You don’t know anything.”

– “You’re smart, just like me.”

– “You must think I’m full of myself.”

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Resources

• Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page– hoagiesgifted.org

• Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG)– sengifted.org

• Genius Denied– geniusdenied.com

• National Association for Gifted Children– nagc.org

• About.com: Gifted Children– giftedkids.about.com

• Westside of LA Gifted– https://www.meetup.com/W

estside-of-Los-Angeles-Gifted/


Useful Readings for Clinicians

• A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children (Webb, Gore, Amend, & DeVries, 2007)

• Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults (2nd

Ed.) (Webb, Amend, Beljan, Webb, Kuzujanakis, Olenchak, & Goerss, 2016)

• Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults (Daniels & Piechowski, eds., 2008)

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Thank You!

Vula Baliotis, Ph.D.Clinical Psychologist

PsychotherapyAssessmentsConsultation

Parenting

Santa Monica Torrance

drvula.com310.963.2724

[email protected]

Working With Gifted Children...Strong hereditary component Parents are often gifted themselves....

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