8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

1/10

Working it out byGary Lachman

I first came across the names Gurdjieff and Ouspensky in1975, through reading Colin Wilsons The Occult! I "as 19 andli#ing in $e" %ork City, playing &ass guitar "ith the thenunkno"n pop group 'londie! I "as just getting interested in&ooks a&out magic, the occult and esotericism, and I ha#e toadmit that in my first encounter "ith Gurdjieff, I "as moreinterested in the reports of his remarka&le po"ers than in hisaustere doctrine! (e "as as fascinating as the many otherfigures in Wilsons &ook, like )leister Cro"ley, *asputin and+adame 'la#atsky, &ut I "asnt dra"n to his teaching! "oyears and many more &ooks later, I had changed my mind! Ihad read Ouspenskys early "ork Tertium Organum as "ellasA New Model of the Universe and "as impressed &y &oth! Ithen read his account of his time "ith Gurdjieff, In Search ofthe Miraculous! It had a seriousness and urgency unlike mostof the occult literature I "as de#ouring! Gurdjieffs doctrine -that human &eings ha#e enormous po"ers of consciousness,"hich are o&scured &y a mechanical ha&it of .sleep. - struckme as self-e#ident! I &elie#ed that "e e/perience only afraction of "hat our consciousness is capa&le of, and that theaim of all occult or spiritual practice is to tap this hiddenreser#oir of po"er! I had made some attempts to do this onmy o"n, and had interesting results! 'ut after co#ering a lotof fascinating ground, in the long run I "ondered if I "asreally getting any"here! )fter a "hile, I had to admit I"asnt!

It "as then that I "ondered a&out Gurdjieff! I still had someresistance! Im not much of a .joiner,. and Gurdjieffs .fourth"ay. "as &ased on the idea that one can do nothing on oneso"n0 according to him, &eing in a group "as a&solutelynecessary! his made me hesitate! Other elements put me offtoo! or e/ample, I lo#e &ooks and music, and it "as difficult

http://www.nthposition.com/author.php?authid=251http://www.nthposition.com/author.php?authid=251http://www.nthposition.com/author.php?authid=251

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

2/10

for me to accept Gurdjieffs assertion that my fa#ourite poetsand composers "ere just as .asleep. as e#ery&ody else! 'utthere "as ne#ertheless something a&out his teaching thatattracted me! It certainly stuck me as the most demanding

and rigorous I had come across! )s presented &y Ouspenskyit "as lucid and almost scientifically precise, although I2uickly disco#ered this "as not the case "ith Gurdjieffs o"n&ooks! 'ut most important, it "as &ased on e/perience andkno"ledge, and this meant that it "as honest! In a realm"here "ishful thinking and self-deception "ere commonplace,this seemed important!

'y the early 1934s, Gurdjieff, "ho had died in aris in 1969,"as e/periencing a kind of re#i#al! +any &ooks a&out him"ere pu&lished! $e" memoirs and accounts &y his studentsseemed to appear o#ernight! ames We&&s definiti#estudy, The Harmonious Circle, appeared then too! Gurdjieffsname "as .in the air!. %et unlike today, it "as difficult then toactually find a .school. practicing his teaching! When you pickup a .fourth "ay. &ook at a &ookshop today, youll more thanlikely find a &ookmark inside ad#ertising a .Gurdjieff andOuspensky Center!. here are do8ens of "e&sites dedicated to.the "ork,. the homely name gi#en to Gurdjieffs .system!.+any of these are &ogus, ha#ing no connection "ithGurdjieffs original groups in *ussia! $e#ertheless, they sho"that Gurdjieff and his teaching ha#e a much greater pu&licprofile today than "as true "hen I first &ecame in#ol#ed in his."ork!.

+y first encounter "ith people actually practicing the.system. "as at a pu&lic lecture at the 'ar&i8on (otel on :rd;treet! I "as surprised at the num&er of people "ho

attended0 apparently, I "asnt the only person in $e" %ork"ho "anted to ."ake up!. One speaker made a point ofemphasi8ing the difference &et"een .I. and .it0. he repeateda phrase se#eral times throughout his talk< .=ike "hat it doesnot like!. .It. "as our mechanical, ha&it-ridden self, that "emistakenly &elie#e is .a"ake!. .I. "as our true self,

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

3/10

su&merged &eneath layers of sleep and automatism! )tpresent .it. dominates us, and a &rief period of self-o&ser#ation sho"s ho" little free "ill "e really possess! heaim of the ."ork. "as to study .it,. to learn its ha&its and

character, "hile at the same time, gradually making .I.stronger!

I returned to my apartment e/cited &y "hat I had heard,"ondering if I should call the telephone num&er on the flyerhanded out at the lecture! he irony "as that my entry intothe .the "ork. "as much closer than I kne"! ) friend "ho"as interested in spiritual ideas kne" I "as reading a lota&out Gurdjieff! We had talked a&out a #ariety of thingsa&&alah, (induism, 'uddhism, and "hen I mentionedthe lecture to him, he sho"ed a great interest! ) fe" dayslater he asked if I "as really interested in getting in#ol#ed in.the "ork!. I said yes! .In that case,. he said, .call thisnum&er,. and he handed me a piece of paper! On it "as atelephone num&er, &ut it "asnt the one on the flyer! .Its myteacher! I mentioned you to him, . he said! .(es e/pectingyou to call! I#e &een "orking "ith him for a&out a year, &ut I"anted to see ho" serious you "ere &efore telling you a&outit! If you are serious Id call soon!.

I did! he mans #oice on the other end "as steady, deep, andto the point! Would I like to come ne/t "eek and ha#e a chat?hen he ga#e me the address!

he &uilding "as on the upper @ast ;ide, the meeting place asmall apartment on the second floor! ) "oman ans"ered thedoor and I "as ushered into a small room and asked to sitdo"n! he apartment "as decorated in an .eastern. fashion!

here "ere ersian carpets and "all hangings, Orientalornaments and object dart! here "ere also many paintings0these, I later found, "ere the "ork of my host! )fter a fe"minutes the man I had spoken "ith came in and introducedhimself! (is name "as aul, and I later disco#ered that he"as one of the principal teachers of the Gurdjieff.mo#ements,. the e/tremely difficult .sacred dances. that

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

4/10

Gurdjieff claimed he had learned at the mysterious monasteryof the ;armoung 'rotherhood! Whether this "as true or notremains an open 2uestion, &ut a fe" years later, "hen I&egan practicing the .mo#ements. myself, "here they came

from seemed irrele#ant! What "as clear "as their a&ility toe#oke unusual states of consciousness!

aul "as the most composed person I had e#er met! I "asimpressed &y his mo#ements0 he seemed rela/ed yet alert,and carried himself "ith an economy of action! (e had.presence!. )fter introducing himself, he sat there for a fe"moments, untrou&led &y the ner#ousness most people feel inthese situations and "hich they usually relie#e through talk!hen he asked me a&out myself, "hat I did and "hy I "asinterested in .the "ork!. )lthough I "as only t"enty-four, Ialready had a fe" achie#ements under my &elt! 'y that time Ihad left 'londie and started my o"n group! One of my songshad &een a top ten hit! I had &een on tele#ision and radio andhad &een inter#ie"ed for maga8ines and ne"spapers! I "asplaying to large cro"ds and making a comforta&le li#ing! )llthis meant #ery little to aul! I could ha#e said I "as recentlyelected resident of the Anited ;tates for all myaccomplishments had impressed him! (e took it all in,nodded, and then asked "hy I "as interested in joining hisgroup! It "as an une/pectedly difficult 2uestion! In the end Ifum&led and lamely said that I "anted to ."ake up!. .%es,.aul remarked! .'ut that "ill take time!. (e told me ho" the."ork. re2uired seriousness and commitment, and he"ondered if I could make that kind of commitment! I said Icould! .Well,. he said, .I ha#e a group for &eginners thatmeets once a "eek! %ou can come to that and "e "ill see!.

(e "rote do"n the address and handed it to me, then said.lease come on time!.

auls group met in a &asement apartment on a side street&et"een =e/ington and ark )#enues! hat first meeting set apattern for the rest! he group sat on hard "ooden chairs in a&are room, the only other furnishing &eing a "ooden ta&le on

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

5/10

"hich rested a #ase of flo"ers, a pitcher of "ater and someglasses! aul sat in front of us0 occasionally there "as ananother chair &eside his, and another teacher "ould join him!here "as no lecture! We sat in an uncomforta&le silence until

someone found the courage to speak! General 2uestions "erefro"ned upon0 remarks had to &e focused on practicalmatters, relating to the e/ercises aul had gi#en! his is ho"things carried on for the ne/t se#eral months! he group had&een gi#en an e/ercise, and after that first meeting, aultaught it to me as "ell! It "as called .sensing your &ody!. ;itin a chair "ith your legs slightly apart and your hands on yourknees! hen .sense. your right arm, starting at the shoulderand "orking do"n to your fingers! Continue "ith the right leg,

then left leg, and left arm, and then start again, this time "iththe right leg, then left leg, and so on! )fter completing a cycleand returning to the &eginning, one "as to .sense. the top ofthe head, then the face, then neck! inally, you "ere to.sense. your "hole &ody! It "as difficult at first to understand"hat "as meant &y .sensing,. &ut after a time I e/perienceda curious tingling, as if I a slight dri88le "as falling on me!)fter some "eeks, I "as told to end the e/ercise &y standingup and taking a fe" steps, "hile maintaining my .sensation!.

)lthough aul tried to keep us focused on the e/ercise, people"ould in#aria&ly &ring up personal matters during thediscussions! One of the reasons Gurdjieff emphasi8ed theneed for groups is that he kne" different personalities "ouldgrate on each other, creating the .friction. he &elie#ed "asnecessary for ."ork!. I "as often impatient "hen people&rought up some personal crisis and su&jected the group to along monologue a&out it! I reali8e no" that this is pro&a&ly

"hy aul let them do it< it pro#ided an opportunity to seeyour o"n shortcomings! )fter one such meeting mydispleasure must ha#e &een #ery e#ident, &ecause aul tookme aside and in true Gurdjieffean fashion ga#e me a &risktalking to, informing me that I "ould ne#er get any"here aslong as I thought I kne" &etter than anyone else! ;adly, I#efailed to profit as much as I might from this ad#ice!

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

6/10

I practiced .sitting. in the morning, and .self-remem&ering.during the day, making .appointments. "ith myself "hen, nomatter "hat I "as doing, I "ould try to feel a full a"arenessof myself! his may sound easy, &ut it "asnt! Going a&out

your affairs, to suddenly pull yourself out of the stream ofe#ents and remem&er that .you. are .here. cost considera&leeffort! Gurdjieffs &asic idea "as that "e do not .remem&eroursel#es,. that "e are ha&itually sunk into a kind of .half-dream. state that "e mistakenly accept as consciousness!his &eing so, it "as difficult enough to remem&er my.appointments,. and e#en harder to "ork up a real sense ofmy &eing, especially if I "as "ith someone else at the time!

eople in .the "ork. cele&rate Gurdjieffs &irthday on anuary1:th, and for my first cele&ration I "as in#ited to a gatheringin a house outside the city! )long "ith a fe" other people, Idro#e out "ith my friend "ho had introduced me to aul! It"as a long dri#e, o#er an hour, and most of it "as in silence!When "e arri#ed I "as impressed at the house - it "as muchmore a mansion - and &y the num&er of people! It "as an oddgathering0 although there "ere many people, the atmosphere"asnt festi#e! $either "as it solemn, although there "ascertainly an air of seriousness! )fter someone took our coats,"e "ere in#ited to mo#e into a large room and to take a seat!hen I "as introduced to Gurdjieffs ritual of .toasts,.accomplished "ith some po"erful #odka! We "ere each gi#ena tum&ler, and after an appropriate .toast,. "ere o&liged toempty it! his happened se#eral times! I hadnt eaten yet andthe effects came on 2uickly! his added to the oddness of"hat happened ne/t! ;omeone announced that in honour ofthe occasion, "e "ould &e treated to a special performance of

the 'a&ylonian epic, !ilgamesh! hat in itself "as unusual,&ut no preparation for "hat follo"ed! I looked to the center ofthe room "here a small stage had &een erected andrecogni8ed the actor 'ill +urray, from Saturda" Night #ive! Ihad no idea that he, like myself, "as interested in .ideas,. northat he "as in#ol#ed in the same organi8ation that I "as! I

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

7/10

enjoyed the performance, &ut it "as difficult after my .toasts.to keep a straight face "hene#er I heard him say .@nkidu!.

In 193B I left $e" %ork and mo#ed to =os )ngeles! 'eforelea#ing I asked aul if he could put me in touch "ith .the"ork. there! (e ga#e me a telephone num&er and said to sayhe had suggested I call! 'y this time a good friend "ho li#edin =) had got into .the "ork. as "ell, and "hen I #isited herrecently she introduced me to some other people she hadmet! he four of us &ecame a kind of ."ork. cli2ue, a circle offriends "ho, for a time at least, shared a common goal!

+y in#ol#ement "ith .the "ork. &ecame deeper and moreintense in =)! I joined a group and also started attending

.ideas meetings,. "hen sections of In Search of theMiraculousor Gurdjieffs ja"&reaker of a &ook, $eel%ebubsTales to His !randson, "ere read and discussed! +y friendsand I "ere reading as much ."ork. literature as "e couldfind< +aurice $icoll, G 'ennett, *odney Collin, and other.fourth "ay. "riters! I also started attending ."ork"eekends!. )t a large house in the alley - the area of =os)ngeles north of the (olly"ood (ills - people from differentgroups "ould gather for intensi#e ."ork days!. hese "ould

&egin "ith a morning talk, follo"ed &y a ne" e/ercise, "hich"e "ere asked to perform throughout the day! )s Gurdjieffhad at his rieure in ontain&leau, students "ere gi#enphysical tasks to perform< gardening, cleaning, preparingmeals, carpentry! he task itself and ho" "ell it "as done"asnt the aim of the e/ercise< the idea "as to remem&eroneself, to focus on the "ork at hand and to perform "hatGurdjieff called .conscious la&or!. ) famous story a&outGurdjieffs rieure in#ol#ed the editor )* Orage, "ho arri#ed

there in 19B:, e/pecting to recei#e "ords of "isdom from theesoteric master, and "as instead handed a sho#el and told todig! Orage dug until his &ack ached and he "as in tears, and"as then told to fill the hole in again! (e "ondered "hatmadness he had got himself into until one day he foundhimself enjoying the digging, and feeling no pain at all< he

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

8/10

had forced himself &eyond his artificial limits and &rokenthrough to his hidden reser#oirs of energy! I recei#ed a lighter#ersion of the .Orage treatment. "hen, after spending anafternoon painting a long "ooden fence, I "as informed that

it "asnt the right color and had to paint it all o#er again! I"as indignant, until I reali8ed that the painting "asnt thepoint, &ut the insights that I got "hile doing it! On anotheroccasion, "hile raking lea#es, I had "hat I &elie#e to &e anunalloyed moment of ."akefulness!. *eaching do"n to scoopa &atch of "et lea#es into a trash &ag, I found myself staringat them in ama8ement, as if I had ne#er really seen a leaf&efore! I remem&ered ho" fresh and clean the "orld seemedas a child and for a fe" moments I enjoyed that same clarity!

It "as then that the "hole idea of .sleep. and.mechanicalness. &ecame real to me, not just an idea! It "asalso around this time that I started practicing the.mo#ements!. )t first they "ere impossi&le< the old game oftrying to ru& your stomach "ith one hand "hile patting yourhead "ith the other gi#es some idea of "hats in#ol#ed, &utthat is a hundred times easier than the .mo#ements!. )&out ado8en students "ould line up in ro"s and, to theaccompaniment of a piano, "ould thro" themsel#es into

contortions, like puppets "ith their strings cut! Often I "oulddrop out in disgust "ith myself! 'ut on one e#ening Iperse#ered and after ignoring my dismay I found myself doingthe .mo#ements. "ith ease and confidence! I e/perienced asudden rush of po"er, and at the end I "as so full of energythat I "anted to get in my car and dri#e non-stop to ;anrancisco, an eight hour trip!

In the summer of 193:, a ."ork. friend and I decided to set

out on our o"n mini .search for the miraculous,. taking a tripto @urope! )long "ith #isiting ;tonehenge, )#e&ury, ChartresCathedral and other sacred sites, "e #isited Gurdjieffs rieurein ontain&leau, then an a&andoned chateau! In aris "e alsotracked do"n Gurdjieffs apartment on the *ue des Colonels*enards, near the Dtoile, "here, during the Germanoccupation, he conducted his secret groups, and "here he

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

9/10

spent his last days! ) year or so later, on a trip to $e" %ork,my friend, "hose parents had &een in the ."ork., took meand a fe" other friends on a #isit to ranklin arms, in $e"ersey, "here Ouspensky had had his o"n #ersion of the

rieure during his years in the A;! +y friends parents had"orked "ith Ouspensky and, "alking on the grounds of thefarm, I "as fascinated to hear their stories a&out their time"ith him!

%et, it "as on my return from @urope that my dou&ts a&outmy place in the ."ork. &egan! I ha#e al"ays had an eclecticmind and "hile a&sor&ing all I could a&out Gurdjieffs ideas, I"as also taking in a great deal of other material! Comparison"as fro"ned upon, &ut I found it difficult not to put Gurdjieffsand Ouspenskys .system. in conte/t "ith other thinkers"ork! I sa" no point in denying that many of Gurdjieffs ideashad parallels in the "ork of other philosophers andpsychologists and that, although his presentation and practice"ere startling and #ery different, his &asic ideas "ere not asuni2ue as his more con#inced students &elie#ed! here "assomething a&out the superman in the "ay many people in the."ork. #ie"ed Gurdjieff, and although he "as "ithout dou&tone of the most remarka&le men to e#er li#e, he "as not, I&elie#ed, infalli&le! +ore to the point, it struck me asdangerous to consider an" teacher infalli&le, "hether it "asGurdjieff or anyone else! Other things too led me to feel lesseager to continue! or one thing, I found it difficult tounderstand "hy Gurdjieff treated Ouspensky, his &est pupil, inthe 2uestiona&le "ay he had0 in fact, the mystery a&out thisremained "ith me long after I dropped out of the ."ork,. andt"enty years later, I "rote a &ook a&out it! It "as difficult not

to &e impressed "ith Gurdjieff, &ut I &egan to "onder a&outhis moti#es! I "as also less than une2ui#ocal in myappreciation of his $eel%ebubs Tales, the &i&le of the ."ork!.I found it unreada&le and couldnt fathom "hy he "ould "antto make his ideas purposefully difficult to grasp! +y otherreading had raised many 2uestions0 although at first I "asscornful of any criticism a&out the ."ork,. I no" could see

8/21/2019 Working It Out by Gary Lachman

10/10

ho" many people that I considered intelligent and insightful"ould &e repelled &y it, and could understand "hy they "ouldfeel that "ay! )nd although I had had some results, I felt thatafter four years I "as pretty much "here I started! his

seemed to &e the case "ith other people too, although itstruck me that for many the ."ork. had &ecome something ofa .life-style,. more than, as it originally "as for me, a meansof achie#ing an end! )nd the teaching itself, for all its rigourand discipline, struck me as curiously lackinga&ositivecontent! he impetus &ehind ."orking. "as thenegati#e one of .escaping. from sleep! In other "riters Ifound more positi#e, optimistic goals, &ut "hen I &rought thisup during meetings, I "as ad#ised that these "ere only ideas,

simply another form of sleep!hese ideas, ho"e#er, "ere increasingly gi#ing me muchmore incenti#e than the no" routine ."ork. repertoire! heypro#ided a much needed carrot to complement theGurdjiffean stick and I "as not a&out to drop them! I stuck"ith it for a "hile and e/perienced some profound soul-searching, &ut in the end I thought it "as dishonest tocontinue "ith so many reser#ations! )fter some "eeks ofindecisi#eness, I announced to my teacher that I "ould &elea#ing! )t first I felt at something of a loose end, &ut soon afeeling of freshness and freedom surfaced and to this day Iconsider it the right decision! I had learned a lot from the."ork,. and I ha#e a lot of respect for its practitioners! 'ut inthe end it "as not for me! It "as not for Ouspensky either, atleast in the form it "as taught &y his master, and in my&ook, In Search of Ous&ens'"< !enius in the Shadow of!urdjieff EFuest 'ooks, B446, I ha#e tried to understand "hy

that "as so!