Womens Era Second) 09

JULY (SECOND) 2009 ● Rs 30

WO

MA

N’S

ER

AJU

LY (S

EC

ON

D) 2009

WHY COUPLESARE SHYING AWAY FROM

PARENTHOOD?KEEPING

TREND WITH MOD

GADGETS: TIPSDOES SEX GIVE

POSITIVE LIFE

FEEDBACK?THE PLACE

WHICH HOUSESMONUMENTAL

MARVELSWHAT COMPRISES

A SIZE ‘0’ BODYTHE GOODNESS

OF LEISURE TRAVELTHE MAN

WHO MOBILISED

ENGLISH LANGUAGEAND SENT IT INTO BATTLE

JULY (SECOND) 2009Vol 36, Issue No. 855 BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

wom

ansera.com

ARTICLES

CONTENTSFounder: Vishwa Nath

(1917-2002)

7 14DOUBLE INCOME, NOKIDS THE NEW MANTRA?Sudha Chandrasekaran

● Mango Pickle● Tamatar Chutney

with Green Mangoes● Mango Pickle with

Asafoetida● Chillies and Ginger in

Vinegar● Chillies with Jaggery● Corn and Crushed

Chillies● Green Chillies with

Mustard and Mint● Amra Pickle● Black Jamuns Stewed● Stewed Fresh Cherries● Mango Pickle with

Jaggery

pieces of mango at one time

using a clean spoon. Put back the

lid and keep it in the sun from

time to time. This aachar goes

well with pulao or vegetable

biryani.

TAMATARCHUTNEYWITH GREENMANGOESINGREDIENTS:

2 tsp of haldi powder

11/2 tsp of asafoetida powder - hing

2 tsp of saunf powder – aniseed

powder

2 tsp of amchur powder

2 tsp of red chilli powder

5-6 tsp of salt

METHODChoose raw green mangoes

which are absolutely raw and

have not started to ripen even a

little. Choose hard and dark green

mangoes. Wash these well and

cut into quarter-inch pieces.

Sprinkle salt and haldi powder

and keep in a clean steel

container. Cover with a muslin

cloth and allow the mangoes to

dry in the sun or even at room

temperature for 2 days so that

most of the moisture is

evaporated.

Crush the hing to obtain a

powder. Also dry-grind the saunf

to obtain a powder.

Heat half the quantity of the

mustard oil and add the hing

powder and allow to splutter for

30 seconds. Now, add the saunf


30 seconds. Mix in the mango

pieces and stir gently. Put off the

heat, mix in the remaining spices.

In another pan heat the remaining

mustard oil and pour over the

spiced mango pieces.

Allow to cool to

46

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

MANGOPICKLEINGREDIENTS:

1 kg of raw green mangoes

1 litre of mustard oil

2 tsp of haldi powder

1/2 tsp of asafoetida powder –

hing5-6 tsp of salt

For the spice powder:

2 tsp of saunf powder – aniseed

powder

2 tsp of amchur powder

20-25 dried red chillies

1 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds

1/2 tsp of methi seeds –

fenugreek

2 cloves

2 tsp of mustard seeds

METHODThis aachar is spicy. You could

reduce the amount of red chillies

if you want it less firy.

Dry-roast all the ingredients for

the spice powder. Cool to room

temperature and grind to a

powder in a mixer. Keep aside.

room temperature. Pour into glass

bottles and put the lid on the jar.

Keep in the sun for 8-10 days.

Stays good for even a year if care

is taken to keep it clean. Take out

only a few pieces of mango at one

time using a clean spoon. Put

back the lid and keep it in the sun

from time to time. This aachar is

not very spicy but has a fine

aroma of hing and saunf . Tastes

good with patties.

CHILLIES ANDGINGER INVINEGARINGREDIENTS:

200 gm of very small green

chillies called Thai chillies

1 cup of ginger cut into julienne

pieces

4 cups of vinegar or

enough to

cover the

chillies and

ginger

2 tsp of salt

METHODRemove the stems only

from the chillies and leave

these whole. Peel the ginger and

cut into thin julienne pieces. Wash

well and pat-dry all the moisture.

Place the ginger and chillies into a

glass jar. Pour the vinegar and 1

Choose raw green mangoes

which are absolutely raw and

have not started to ripen even a

little. Choose hard and dark green

mangoes. Wash these well and

cut into quarter-inch pieces.

Sprinkle salt and haldi powder

and keep in a clean steel

container. Cover with a muslin

cloth and allow the mangoes to

dry in the sun or even at room

temperature for 2 days so that

most of the moisture is

evaporated.

Heat half the quantity of the

mustard oil and add the hing


30 seconds. Mix in the mango

pieces and stir gently. Put off the

heat, mix in the spice powder. Mix

well. In another pan heat the

remaining mustard oil and pour

over the spiced mango pieces.

Allow to cool to room

temperature. Put into glass bottles

and put the lid on the jar. Keep in

the sun for 8-10 days. Stays good

for even a year if care is taken to

keep it clean. Take out only a few

1 kg tomatoes

1 green mango weighing around

300 gm1/2 tsp of haldi powder

3-4 tsp of ginger-garlic paste

3 tsp of tamarind paste

2 tsp of green chilli paste

1 cup of mustard oil

salt to taste

METHODWash the tomatoes. Cut into

halves and remove the eyes of

the tomatoes and then cut into

quarters. Remove all the seeds.

Peel the mango, remove the

kernel and cut into very small

pieces. Run these pieces in a

mixture to obtain a paste.

Heat half the quantity of the oil

in a kadhai. Add the ginger-garlic

paste and stir-fry for a minute. Mix

in the tomato pieces and add salt

to taste. Cover with a lid and cook

on medium heat till most of the

moisture from the tomatoes have

evaporated. Mix in the mango

paste at this stage. Stir-fry for 2

minutes and mix in the green chilli

paste and haldi powder and more

salt. Keep stirring and cooking on

low fire for another 3-4 minutes,

adding the oil a little at a time at

short intervals. Once all the oil has

been used up and the aachar is

more or less dry, put off the heat.

Cool to room temperature. Put into

bottles. The aachar is ready for

use and will stay good for 2 weeks

without keeping in the fridge.

Serve with kachories or pakoras.

MANGOPICKLE WITHASAFOETIDAINGREDIENTS:

1 kg of raw green

mangoes

1 litre of mustard oil

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

47

It is pickling time.

Put creativity

into your pickles

and enjoy these

throughout

the year.

By Roma Ghosh

FOR YOUR

TASTE BUDSMango pickle

Tamatar chutney with

green mangoes

Mango pickle with

asafoetida

Chillies and ginger in vinegar

26 A WOMAN LIKE NANDITAKasturi Rangachari

38 THE PECULIAR MANLeena Raj

A QUESTION OF PURITYGayatri T Rao

LOST YOUR LIBIDO?GET IT BACKVikas Kumar Jain

LOST YOUR LIBIDO?GET IT BACKVikas Kumar Jain

HEALTH DIET FOODFOR THOUGHTK. V. Venugopal

88LAC ORNAMENTS ARE AGAINBECOMING POPULARKusum Mehta

CHURICHILL’S WITSmita Shenoy

8268 MOTHER-LOVE WHENDOES IT FIRST STRIKEKasturi Rangachari

MOTHER-LOVE WHENDOES IT FIRST STRIKEKasturi Rangachari

● Jackfruit Pickle● Mixed Pickle● Lotus Stem Pickle● Bitter Gourd Stuffed

Pickle● Chole Pickle

46 A VEG-NON-VEG MIX48 FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS

71 MONSOONNECESSITATES REMOVAL OFMOULD FROM HOMESNK Pant

74 A LIFT IN THE HOUSEK. M. Sharma

92 IN PURSUIT OFEXCELLENCESubhra

96 THIS IS THE WAY IT WASLIKE!Sonam Agrawal

GET AWAY, RECHARGEAND CREATE MEMORIES!

Kasturi Rangachari

COOKERY

LATEST GADGETSFOR YOUAnoop Verma

FICTION

78BOMBAY FILMDOM

ETERNAL ELLORA Rajib Sen

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41 HOW I MET MY HUSBAND

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146 AS YOU SAY

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58ACCENTUATING FEMININITY

THE WAYS YOU CAN WEARYOUR HAIR

NEWS INPICTURES

22

24 BEAUTY QUERIES44 CHILD CHALLENGES95 YOUR BODYMY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...131 PERSONALPROBLEMS138 MONEY MATTERS140 CLASSIFIEDS

36

42EMBELLISHMENTTO BEAUTY

HOMOSEXUALITY COMMOTION

It is believed that Adam and Eve were living happilyin the Garden of Eden until Adam, prompted by theSerpent, took a bite from the forbidden apple. And

thus began sexual relationship between them markingthe commencement of sexual reproduction amonghuman race.

But no one knows when and how sexual relationsbetween the members of same sex began. It is,however, certain that homosexuality and lesbianismare as old as the human civilisation. And the gays andlesbians, as the men and women having carnalrelations are known respectively, had never taken abite from any forbidden apple. But as a socialperversion, the phenomenon existed since timeimmemorial. No one is sure what made the Britishrulers to bring a law (Section 377 of IPC) againsthomosexuality in circa 1860, that is,during the period when the British-Indian forces were on an annexationdrive.

Perhaps they might have seenthat the soldiers, who were longaway from their homes and families,were making relations with oneanother. So they (the British)enacted Section 377 of IPC makinghomosexuality a cognisable crime.

In independent India, Section 377 of IPC wasretained in our Constitution as it is and homosexualitycontinued to be treated as an outlawed behaviour ifnot as a crime. But there is hardly any incidence, whenany person, man or woman, has been punished forhaving homosexual relations.

Recent ruling of Justices A.P. Shah and S.Muralidharan of Delhi High Court in favour ofhomosexuality puts a big question mark on the validityof the said law. The justices have observed that thisSection violates the fundamental right to freedom andequality of an individual granted to him or her under thevarious sections and sub-sections of our Constitution.

Meanwhile, the ruling that has come at a juncturewhen a debate was about to start in Parliament overthe issue has sent a wave of cheer among the gaysand lesbians. At the same time, it has shocked varioussections of society. Although, many nations, includingthe USA, the UK, and many western European andSoutheast Asian countries have now grantedhomosexuality a legal status, but it has not done anygood to the respective societies. On the contrary, ithas emboldened the sexually perverted men andwomen to observe and celebrate a number of awkward

EDITORIAL

events like gay day and lesbian day, etc. Their actionsseem to be directed at making mockery of the socialnorms including the pious institution of marriage.

Proponents of the gay rights hail Delhi High Court’sruling declaring it a victory of their prolonged struggle.They argue that why should India still cling to the Britishperiod law while even our old masters have alreadyscrapped it in England according homosexuality socialas well as legal acceptance. Our Parliament is exactlygoing to discuss this point. In the light of this, DelhiHigh Court’s ruling has come somewhat in haste. Itsmotive is also rather obscure.

Now something about the social implications ofhomosexuality. Without doubt, it is an outcome ofperverted minds. The phenomenon perhaps is anoutcome of too many taboos put on boys and girls in asociety. Psychologists maintain that homosexualbehaviour takes its roots during the childhood years.

Earlier, it is out of curiosity. But withtime, it is corrected by itself. But if itcontinues among the adults then it isnothing but perversion. Sometimes,it arises out of frustration amongadult men and women.

But it is by no means an excuseto seek social and legal acceptancefor this perversion. There are manyother creative ways to give vent tothis frustration. Homos and lesbians

must explore them. The society too ought to take a lookat various taboos inflicting growing minds of youngchildren and make sure that they grow with healthysexual outlook without facing any sexual risk.

Moreover, at least male and female union is requiredfor the continuation of progeny. Any diversion from thisnatural requirement would lead to social disorder. Eventhe sexually reproducing animals don’t indulge in suchperversion as homosexuality. Therefore, homosexualityand lesbianism have no room in the society becausetheir acts are against the natural laws though they talkabout the human rights.

In such a situation, sex education becomes all themore important. It is high time to start a fresh debateabout including it in school curriculum.

Further, it must be asked if by legalisinghomosexuality will it lead to decline in sexual crimesagainst women and minor girls. No such decline is seenin societies where homosexuality is legalised. So whatpurpose would it serve in India to legalisehomosexuality? Perhaps nothing except some groupsof gays and lesbians holding rallies, displaying placardsand rejoicing over their so-called victory.

Wewrite to: [email protected]

6 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

Are you a successful couplewith steadily rising bankbalance? Are you one ofthose pairs who love totake off to a late-nightmovie without having worryabout kids? Do you getjitters when you think ofhaving kids and prefer thislife instead? Then you are

one of those, leading a DINK lifestyle.This acronym appeared for the firsttime in Pat Buchanan’s best-sellingbook The Death of the West. Shortfor “Double Income, No Kids,” itrefers to thousands of couples inurban centres leading such alifestyle. It is a growing phenomenon.Society is facing a culture shockthese days. Earlier, a couple wasexpected to have a baby withinalmost a year of marriage. Thesedays, with higher pay packets andboth husband and wife working,success is coming easily and theycan afford a pretty lavish lifestyle.They get so used to leading an easylife that they forget the joy thatchildren bring. Though a DINKlifestyle is enjoyable, it is not soforever. After a point, you will startfeeling shallow yourself and wouldwant something more than justmoney and comfort.

DOUBLE INCOME,NO KIDS

In today’s high-pressure lifestyle, does having children have a place? By Sudha Chandrasekaran

?THE NEW MANTRATHE NEW MANTRA

More and more young marriedcouples are hitting the pay dirt,thanks to double incomes. But theirdeepening pockets do not mean afuller familial life, as they aren’tblinking before going the DINK way.DINK couples have found alternativepleasures to procreation. They areimpulsive shoppers, eat outfrequently and take dream vacations.This, they say, gives more joy thana child would. Daring to go againstthe tide, defying accepted modes oftradition, they have chosen theirpassions, be it travel, music, danceor cooking. Children, they feel, are ahindrance in their path.

“We believe that parenting is like acareer. I don’t believe in multi-taskingof any kind when it comes to children.If I have a child, I would want to stayat home, enjoy his or her growing upand contribute to the child’scharacter. At this stage of my life,neither my husband nor I are ready todo that,” says Preethi. Rahul andPreethi hope to retire from theirrespective jobs by the time they turn45 and invest their time and money intravelling the world together withbackpacks. Rakhee and Nikhil saythey’re dedicated to their passion —dance — and they trot across theglobe giving performances. “Dance— that’s our baby. We’re exploringour creative passion and I don’t thinkanything satisfies us more than this.We’re attached to each other, we’relike two bodies and one soul and donot see the need for an anotherperson,” says Rakhee.

TREND GROWINGDINK is a growing trend in every

metropolis, thinks Dr Kamini Rao,founder of Bangalore ConceptionAssisted Centre. From one child it’sheading to a no-child scenario. Evenwomen have no issues pooh-poohingthe concept of having children andmotherhood. “Economic indepen -dence, greed and odd timings areprime reason for DINK. Which ITcouple will want to be tied down witha child and family given their everysecond’s worth? They would ratherretire with a good bank balance and

live the rest of their lives hassle-free,”observes Dr Rao. Also, the fear oftaking on the huge responsibility ofbringing up kids which involves a lotof sacrifice, patience andadjustments looms large in the mindsof DINK.

Time rather than money is aconstraint for these couples when itcomes to planning for a long holiday.They try to squeeze in a couple ofshort breaks each year. Rajath andShailaja have just returned from theirUK trip, which cost them about Rstwo lakh. “We have my sister there,so our expenses were much less,”says Rajath.

CONSUMPTIONPATTERNS

Couples enjoy a fairly long holidayonce in a year or once in every twoyears. They spend around Rs 15,000on each of the short trips. “A majorpart of our expenses goes towardsbuying souvenirs or small gifts forrelatives and friends. For instance,we picked up tea bags andeucalyptus oil from Ooty, and home-made chocolates from Kodaikanal,during our vacation there last year,”add the Guptas.

Consumption patterns in metroshave undergone metamorphicchanges in the last five years fromeducation, health and basic

essentials to entertainment, fitnesscentre, eating out and personal careetc, due to the rise in the disposableincome of individuals, availability ofcredit and increasing number of dual-income nuclear families. In a surveydone by the Associated Chamber ofCommerce and Industry of India(ASSOCHAM) on ChangingConsumption Pattern of a city likeDelhi, as a result of rising incomelevels, nearly 75 per cent couplesfalling in the DINK category withabout Rs 6-8 lakh income per annum,roughly spend Rs 15,000-20,000 onentertainment, shopping, fitnesscentres, eating out and branded weararticles, almost every month. 45 per

THE FEAR OF TAKINGON THE HUGE

RESPONSIBILITY OFBRINGING UP KIDS WHICH

INVOLVES A LOT OF SACRIFICE,

PATIENCE ANDADJUSTMENTS LOOMS

LARGE IN THE MINDS OF DINK.


cent of other DINK couples who donot have any budget but use asubstantial part of their income forloan repayment like EMIs add up toover Rs 20,000 a month formortgages, and spend about Rs5,000-10,000 on non-essential items.The ASSOCHAM finding stated thatall the working couples with no kidsappear to have one expense incommon — i.e. eating out. Thereason is that with the toughschedules and late work hours thattheir jobs demand, couples,especially those who are into MNCs,computer professionals, sales andmarketing et al, feel that it is practical

to eat out rather than return homeand cook.

For most DINK couples, shoppingis a weekly affair whether it’s for theessentials or otherwise. WhileNamrata is an impulsive buyer — “If Iset my heart on something, I need toget it then and there” — Sundaresanhas more control over himself. “Hesplurges too, but after giving it athought, unlike me,” says Namrata.They spend mostly on clothes,accessories and occasionally onelectronic gadgets.

BALANCING ACTAmrit, an impulsive shopper, says

his wife, Akila, “knows the finebalance between spending andsplurging, and makes sure she hassaved for a rainy day.” They alwayshave a friendly fight over what hasbeen bought and how to put it togood use. Akila’s impulses are limitedto trinkets and cosmetics, while

Amrit’s include a home-theatresystem, iPod and laptop among otherthings.

All the couples agree that theabsence of kids in their lives givesthem room to splurge. “This is aperiod in our lives where we aremaking the best of our reasonablefinancial freedom as well as lack ofthe responsibility of rearing children.When we were married four yearsago, neither of us had the resourcesto spend impulsively, so we aremaking up for it with a vengeancenow,” says Vandana.

Why do more and more coupleschoose not to have children? Severalolder generation people think that it isto have more freedom. They regardthis as an irresponsible choice. “Iknow they have free choice, but ifevery family does not bear children,the human race would becomeextinct,” argued Mangesh, a retiredmiddle schoolteacher. “Most adultsreceived love and care from their

parents. I think it is rather selfish ifthey do not then bear children andpay out the same love and caretheir parents gave them.”

However, couples have theirown reasons for having DINKfamilies

Says Nanditha, a woman in herlate 20s, married for nearly fiveyears now, “Life for my husbandand me is easy and romantic. If wehad a child it would spoileverything. We enjoy travelling,taking photos, reading books,

exercising and enjoying all thedelicious foods — so having a babyis not in our plans. Life is short, we’dlike to use all our money and time toenjoy life itself.”

But not all DINK families havesuch hedonistic attitudes. TheBanerjees, who live in Delhi and havebeen married for three years, alsobelieve that a child might ruin theirmarital harmony, but in a differentway. “My wife and I often overhearour neighbours quarreling with eachother on issues related to theupbringing of their only daughter.Therefore, we worry that, if we hada child, the same thing would

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009 11

MOST ADULTSRECEIVED LOVE

AND CARE FROMTHEIR PARENTS.

I THINK IT ISRATHER SELFISH IF

THEY DO NOTTHEN BEAR

CHILDREN ANDPAY OUT THE SAME

LOVE AND CARETHEIR PARENTSGAVE THEM.

happen. The idea of day care doesnot appeal to us because of thehorrible stories we hear about thecaregivers’ treatment of the childrenthere and we believe in bringing upthe child ourselves rather than by anyother person.” Many women worryabout the course of gestation andgiving birth. “It must be painful,” saidLeena, a young college lecturer,“though medicine has developedgreatly. I know women still die duringchildbirth. Besides, giving birth willdamage a woman’s figure.”

Pressures and competition at workare other factors. Shahnaz, agovernment official has been marriedfor four years to a company manager.She said that she loved children verymuch, but that she and her husbandwere so busy that they were unable totake the idea into consideration.“Also, the competition in our companyis intense. If I have a child and leavemy position temporarily, someoneelse is sure to take my place.”

Many couples also worry that theycannot afford to have a child.Besides, books, clothes and toys,children are becoming more andmore expensive. Seeing otherchildren possessing those luxuries,children of parents who cannot affordthem, might tend to develop aninferiority complex and might evenresent their parents. The difficultiesof life, and the troubles all children

must face, also scare many couples.Every year they see collegegraduates fighting so hard to land ajob. In the future, this kind ofcompetition will only get tougher.They feel that they have had enoughof all this and do not want to bring alife into the world just for the baby tosuffer like they did. And there againare some couples who do not haveenough confidence in their marriage.

RIGHT OF CHOICE“I do not believe in romantic love

and pledges,” says a softwareengineer in TCS, Chennai. “If Idivorced my husband, the child wouldbe hurt. We do not have the right toheap our faults on an innocent child.”

However, the cost of freedom forDINK families is another set ofpressures and worries. Many thinkthat the DINK idea is bad for thestability of a marriage. “I was marriedfor six years, but it all came tonothing in the end,” said Rekha. “Iused to think that marriage without achild was free and easy, but I neverthought that it would lead mymarriage into a tomb.”

At the beginning, after gettingmarried, Rekha was afraid thathaving a baby would change herfigure and bring a premature end toher sweet married life, so having achild was put off. Her mother-in-law

was unhappy about it. Rekhaconceived twice by accident but bothtimes, the couple decided on anabortion. Time passed and eventuallythe couple decided they were readyto have a child. However, the medicalexamination found that the twoabortions had damaged Rekha’sreproductive system, and there wasno hope of a pregnancy. Herhusband and her mother-in-law couldnot accept it and blamed her for herselfishness. The quarrel in the familywent on and Rekha’s husbanddivorced her in the end.

In real life, many families withoutlove are saved by their children.Though a child cannot guarantee astable marriage, families withoutchildren face more serious tests.

Despite the fact that DINK couplesface troubles and social pressure,these couples are getting moreunderstanding from society thesedays. “Perhaps who choose not tohave children pay more attention topresent happiness. They cherish theirrelationship with their spouses morethan parenthood.

Many think that DINK couples arenot responsible or kind-hearted, but Ido not think so,” says Professor Mathur,a leading sociologist. “Everyone hasthe right to choose their way of life.Others may not agree with theirchoices, but the right of choiceshould be respected. A civilised andmature society should tolerate andunderstand diversifi cation.”


We

THEY FEEL THAT THEYHAVE HAD ENOUGHOF ALL THIS AND DO

NOT WANT TO BRINGA LIFE INTO THE

WORLD JUST FOR THEBABY TO SUFFER LIKETHEY DID. AND THERE

AGAIN ARE SOMECOUPLES WHO DO

NOT HAVE ENOUGHCONFIDENCE INTHEIR MARRIAGE.

Even a couple of decadesago, Indians weren’t muchinto leisure travelling. Poortransport and communicationfacilities, discomfort with newand strange surroundings,uneasiness with unfamiliarcuisines, guilt arising fromthe conviction that trips,unless essential, were self-

indulgent and that the money spenton them was better saved – theseand a host of other reasons keptIndians at home. But all that haschanged, and today Indians, old andyoung,are all too ready to pack theirbags and take off the minute theyhave the time and the money!

And why has this change inthinking taken place? For manyreasons. Economic reforms haveopened up the country and let theworld in – and Indians out. Foreignexchange restrictions have beeneased, liberalisation has created anew and large class of entrepreneursand lots of people have lots ofmoney. And so leisure travel hastaken off!

Everyone can travel: Today mostpeople love to travel – and not justthe young, adventurous and restless.Practically everyone has realised theadvantages of travelling – of gettingaway from it all, of taking a break, of

Why leisure travel is good for you. By Kasturi Rangachari

GET AWAY,RECHARGE

AND CREATEMEMORIES!

disconnecting and taking time off tosmell the roses along the path of life.In fact, leisure travel has become partof the routine lifestyle of manypeople. And all of them benefit fromit.

Leisure travel is the greateststress buster possible. Yes, even justa two-day weekend away from ahectic work schedule (and whodoesn’t have one now, even if one isa stay-at-home “unemp loyed” mum?)

is refreshing and revitalising. Today’sjobs are high-pressure, stressful onesand getting away for a completechange has become a psychologicalnecessity.

If you spend a weekend at home,you tend to brood about workproblems and even if you don’t, yousleep or eat too much as you try toget the energy to tackle postponedchores or to play with the kids. Youthen start the next week feeling stale,exhausted and low-spirited.

But if you leave home and take offfor some getaway –- without takingyour laptop with you! – everythingchanges. You find yourself in arefreshingly unfamiliar place with newthings to see and do. The very air,the ambience itself, is different. Youcannot follow your usual routine, andhave to think out what you want todo, see, eat, etc.

And you have choices. You candecide to lie in the open in a loungerstaring up at the sky, to go trekking,to teach your five-year-old swimming– your time, the commodity that is insuch short supply these days – isyour own to spend as you like! And ifyou decide just to eat and sleep, forsome reason, this doesn’t make youfeel heavy and drugged – it refreshesyou!

Experience the change: And – boy– do you enjoy being in control evenif it is only for a couple of days! Yourbatteries get recharged and youcome back full of energy and vitality.It has even been proved that regularbreaks prevent early burnout intaxing jobs.

A getaway also gives you theperfect opportunity to disconnectfrom your regular life. And when youdo this, you get a new perspective onthings.

An ex-student of mine told me thathe had decided to give up hisexcellent job in Switzerland, moveback to India and start a micro-banking organisation while on amuch-needed holiday. “I suddenlyrealised that I did not want to spendmy life as I was spending it – movingfrom country to country, earning potsof money but being away from my

aging parents. No, I wanted to comeback to India and do something thatwould make a difference to people,”he told me.

Tour operators often keep theirage in mind when planning trips forsenior citizens. But not all their clientslike being told that they are too oldto do it all! I remember my motherspeaking to a tour planner who hadtold her that she would have just oneouting a day while in Bali.

“We don’t want to overdo thingsnow, do we?” he asked coyly with abenign smile.

My mother glared at him. “Youmay not want to, but put everythingback into my programme!” sheordered tartly. “I’m not going to Bali tocount the clouds! I want to see it all,do it all!”

My mother, unfortunately like toofew oldies, was determined to doeverything that she had alwayswanted to while she could still do it.So, till illness made it impossible, shetook off once a year, with two like-minded friends, for regions unknown.The threesome would go with a tourcompany which specialised inorganising tours for pensioners. Shefrequently told me that she wasgrateful for the fact that I never toldher that she was too old to go off likethat and that I would worry myself todeath if she did so.

But how could I do anything otherthan check out her tour thoroughly,make sure that I had the phonenumber and address of every hotelthat she’d be staying in and get herinternational phone cards for thecountries she would be travelling to,when she came back each timelooking exhilarated and happy and 10years younger?

Broadening out: Travelling givesone tremendous opportunities fornovelty, fun, adventure anddiscovery. In fact, one cannot be acomplete human being who has a fulllife unless one has travelled andseen the world. Travelling completesone’s education and this was why, inthe past, British aristocrats sent theirchildren for the “Grand Tour” afterthey completed their studies. This


TOUR OPERATORSOFTEN KEEP THEIR

AGE IN MIND WHENPLANNING TRIPS FORSENIOR CITIZENS. BUT

NOT ALL THEIRCLIENTS LIKE BEINGTOLD THAT THEY ARE

TOO OLD TO DO IT ALL!

was mainly a tour of the culturalcentres of Europe.

Today too, youngsters in thedeveloped world often take a gapyear and either backpack their waythrough countries that interest them,join the Peace Corps or an NGO in athird world country to work in an areathey consider interesting andimportant or do something else that’snot similar. The reason why they dothis is that they want to experience adifferent kind of life to the one thatthey grew up leading.

Travelling to a previously unknownregion or country helps youunderstand people who are differentfrom you. You see their way of lifeand their culture first hand. You learna little about their history, theirarchitecture, their arts and crafts,their cuisine and other aspects oftheir life. You appreciate thesimilarities and differences betweenyou and them.

All this widens your mind. A veryconservative home-bird cousin ofmine who had hardly ever travelledoutside her home state of Tamil Naduwas, a couple of years ago, forcedby circumstances to go to Rajkot inGujarat to see her sister-in-lawthrough the last stages of atroublesome pregnancy.

My cousin went, dreading the twomonths which she would have tospend there. But when I met her afterher return, she talked non-stop aboutthe wonderful friends she had madein Rajkot, the wonders of Gujaraticuisine, Gujarati customs and theirsimilarity to Tamil customs and thelike.

That single visit had opened hermind and made her realise thatdifferent didn’t mean frightening orunacceptable. It had made her readyto embrace change.

Perhaps she then understoodwhat Hellen Keller meant when shesaid, “Life is either a daringadventure or nothing.” Or MarkTwain’s words, “Twenty years fromnow, you will be more disappointedby the things you didn’t do than bythe things you did do.”

Travel increases our knowledgeand widens our perspectives. Forinstance, I knew that medieval Italyhad witnessed the Renaissance, butit took a trip to Rome and Florence

for me – not at all the artistic sort –-to understand what that actuallymeant.

As I stared dazed at the ceiling ofthe Sistine Chapel, as I wanderedthrough the Uffizi Gallery and gazedat the works of Da Vinci, Donatello,Titian (and understood why brightgolden auburn hair was called titian!),Botticelli, Raphael and many otherartists, as I was rendered speechlessby Michelangelo’s David in theGalleria del Academia, I began tovaguely comprehend what art was allabout and also developed a gooddeal of respect for a civilisation thatproduced such stupendous art.

I also began to think seriouslyabout how we Indians should do abetter job of preserving our owncultural legacy. When I came back, Itook an online course in artappreciation and began to contributeto organisations involved inpreserving our cultural heritage.Travel had opened my eyes andmade my mind grow. As MiriamBeard wrote, “Travel is more than theseeing of sights; it is a change that ismade, deep and permanent, on aperson’s ideas of living.”

Travel options: Today there areorganisations that can customise atour for you. A friend of mine actuallywanted to study Tuscan cuisine andgot a trip tailor-made for her. Shethen went to Tuscany where sheinteracted, first, with a woman whohad specialised in traditional Tuscancuisine and taught it in a cateringcollege, and then moved through theregion meeting housewives, chefs,etc. She didn’t open a restaurantserving Tuscan cuisine when shereturned to Mumbai, but she didserve it to friends at home! Moreimportant, she had done somethingshe had wanted to do for a long timeand enjoyed herself immensely whiledoing it.

Another young couple I knewwanted to find another coupleinterested in touring Europe for twomonths on the Eurostar train, on ashoestring budget. They found sucha couple on the Internet and then thefour of them had a memorable


holiday. They bought some sort ofseason ticket for the train andhopped on and off it whenever a townthey were passing seemedinteresting.

They knew Europe backwards bythe time they got back! Not only that,they had done something unusualand adventurous that not manypeople do and this gave them a greatdeal of self-confi dence. And since thecouple they had travelled with wasfrom Thailand, they learnt a lot aboutthat country, its cuisine, its customsand practices and its language.

INDIA’S WONDERSBut one needn’t go abroad to

learn things or see them in a newlight. Our country is so diverse thatwe can learn an immense amount bytravelling within it. A neighbour ofmine decided to go on a tour ofKarnataka with his son after the boyhad finished his tenth standardBoards. They had the time of theirlives and when they came back theboy remarked thoughtfully,“Kannadigas are so great. It’s a pitythat we Tamilians fight so much withthem over water.”

That boy was definitely looking atthe ongoing problem Tamil Nadu hasover sharing the water of the Kaveri

with Karnataka, in a new andmore mature way. Thisunderstanding of others, thisability to see things from anew perspective, is, I feel,the greatest benefit of leisuretravel.

We all find the strangeand unfamiliar, threateningand scary and we tend toavoid it. People with skin of adifferent colour, with features distinctfrom ours, who perhaps talk thesame language, but do so with a anaccent so unfamiliar that we canbarely understand them, are allstrange and even frightening and weoften don’t know how to interact withthem and so often avoid them.

And in the same way we areavoided by them. I have experiencedthis several times during trips abroadwhen my husband and I have beenthe only Indians in the group and theothers have all been whiteWesterners. Everyone smiled politelyat us, but left us severely alone.Perhaps they thought that wecouldn’t understand English. Perhapsthey couldn’t get beyond theprominent red bindi on my foreheadand see me as a person.

But things invariably changed assoon as we struck up a conversationand made it clear that not only did we

both know English, but that we wereinterested in and could talk about thesame topics as they. Suddenly, wewere part of the group and wereincluded in the conversation, thejokes and the camaraderie.

And when you talk, joke and shareexperiences with others, you realiseone important thing. All humanbeings are the same under the skin.All human beings laugh and cry atthe same things, we all want thesame things from life, relationshipsare important to all of us, we allsearch for love and approval and thesame things hurt us. And once yousee people as exactly like you, youunderstand them and understandingis the first step to striking upfriendships or, going into moreserious territory, even to resolvingdisagreements.

Plan ahead: Don’t make excuses.


ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE THE SAME UNDERTHE SKIN. ALL HUMAN

BEINGS LAUGH AND CRY AT THE

SAME THINGS, WE ALLWANT THE SAME

THINGS FROM LIFE.

Don’t, for instance, say that you’lltravel when the children are older.Who knows whether you’ll be able tothen? So, just plan a trip around yourkids and get started. Plan Disneylandand nature trails instead of theLouvre and archaeological sites!

You should grab the momentbecause it hasn’t been so cheap totravel for a long time. Low oil pricesmean low air fares and the recessionmeans that tour companies, airlinesand hotels are all fighting for yourcustom.

Within the given parameters, plana trip of the type and duration that isright for you. Are you a culture vultureor the water sports sort? Do you want

the regular package tour or one thattakes you off the beaten track? Atwo-day cruise or a trip around theworld? Do you want to travel with apack or independently? As for cost,you can spend different amounts onthe same trip. So plan according toyour budget. Cheap dormitories orfive-star luxury? First class or budgetairlines? There are an enormousvariety of options and anything andeverything is possible!

Once you’ve settled on the detailsof your trip, start doing yourhomework. You will enjoy the thingsand places you see more, if youknow something about them. So surfthe Internet. Blogs too will get you alot of pointers from people who havedone the same type of tour.

Definitely get yourself medical

insurance when you book your tour.Many countries have made itcompulsory and you can’t get a visa ifyou don’t have it. But it’s worthgetting it even if it is not compulsory.Heaven forbid you fall ill on your trip,you will certainly need it. But read thefine print on the policy document tomake sure that it covers mosteventualities.

Pack sensibly. It is better that youtravel as light as possible. Porters areoften not available or they cost a lotand most of the time, you will have tocarry your own stuff. Go to theInternet and you will find websitesthat tell you what you need to packand what you don’t need to. But don’tplan to buy necessities at yourdestination. You will find it difficult toget things at a reasonable price on

the tourist circuit and may also haveproblems getting the locals tounderstand your needs.

I remember that my husbanddecided not to take razors with himwhen we went to China, but foundthe free razors provided in our hotelrooms too light to use and wantedsturdier ones. We then spent all ourfree time searching shops and tryingto get shop assistants to understandwhat we needed! It took us a longtime to realise that as Chinese menhave light beards and therefore needless sharp razors, only that type isavailable in most Chinese shops!

A useful quotation from SusanHeller: “ When preparing to travel, layout all your clothes and all yourmoney. Then take half your clothesand twice the money.”

Hotel rooms sometimes havesmall packets of detergent in thebathrooms, but it is better to takesome with you – or a cake of washingsoap if you prefer that. Hotels chargea bomb to wash clothes, so plan towash at least your lighter clothes andyour undergarments yourself. But dothis only when you are staying morethan a day at a place or you may beleft with wet clothes to pack. So takethe plunge! Take time off andexperience what life has to offer. Don’tpostpone it or decide to wait. Theremay not be a better time or lowerprices. Venture forth and live life life-size! You’ll come back and startplanning your next trip right away!


We

Kidney specialist Danish doctor Arne Soerensen(L) and his wife Birte are seen at their

home in the northern Danish city of Aalborg. Thedoctor has written a book ‘Napoleon’s kidneys’

revealing that Napoleon died of a kidneyinfection and not of poisoning.

How Napoleon died

The “Gorch Fock” training tall ship of the German Navytakes part in tall ship parade at the Kiel Week sailing eventat the port of Kiel, northern Germany.

Tall

Ship

Par

ade

A model poseswith newlyunveiled Lenovoproducts in NewDelhi. Lenovolaunched severalnew productsincluding a single-unit desktop PC,Lenovo (300 andultra-thinnotebooks LenovoS10-2 with astarting price rangeof Rs 22,490.Le

novo

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s la

unch

ed

A worker whittleswood to make aviolin at a musicalinstrument factory inPinggu, on theoutskirts of Beijing.The district hasbecome one of theworld’s centres ofviolin production injust 20 years.

Centre of violin production


Brazilian computingengineering student makessome adjustments to anintelligent robot invented toplay football, ahead of the2009 RoboCup FEIengineering university in SaoBernardo do campo in Brazil.Some 400 robot teamsoriginating from 40 countriesare competing in the RoboCupin Austria.A

n in

telli

gent

robo

t

A television cameraman films nude images of USmusician Madonna displayed in a gallery in CentralLondon. Madonna posed for the black and whites atthe age of 20 when she was modelling in New Yorkto pay her way through dancing school.

Mad

onna

’s n

ude

imag

esAn artist draws a portrait of pop star Michael Jackson in the

street of Medellin, Colombia. A Malaysian fan writes amessage in tribute to Jackson on a white board during a vigil

organised to remember the pop legend in Kuala Lumpur.Jackson’s death has sent shockwaves across the world.

Trib

ute

to M

icha

el J

acks

on

A view of Spanish vintner Josep Maria Albet iNoya’s vineyard and processing plant in Sant Paud’Ordal near Barcelona. As a vegetarian and an

environmentalist, Josep decided in the late 1970sthat going organic matched his green principles.

Green principles


QA

How long does it take to recover fromBotox treatment and how do I find outif it is what I need? I am 32 and havedeep frown lines.

The Botox injection proceduredoes not take more than 10 minutesand officially there is no ‘recoverytime’. You can resume your normalactivities almost immediately afterwalking out of the therapists. Howeffective it would be in your individualcase only a practitioner can evaluateafter checking out the depth of thelines. Essentially, it freezes themuscle of the area, so you cannotfrown any more.

I want to know if there is a naturalway to bleach facial hair. I do notwant to use chemical marketbleaches on my face.

Natural bleach works slowly andthe results are not dramatic. You candry orange skin in winter and powderit, mix a teaspoon with milk and applyto your face for 20 minutes. This willalso help with skin-conditioning andlighten the hair.

While everybody is complainingabout oily skin in summer, I stillcombat a very dry skin and do notknow how to get rid of dry patchesaround my forehead.

Do check that it is dryness and notdandruff. You can use the heavycream that you get on milk and mixwith ripe papaya mash. Add oatmealpowder, so it stays on your face andapply it thrice a week. Wash off after20 minutes.

I am 21 and my problem is the tanthat summer invariably brings. I try toput sunblock but it wears off. Howcan I rid myself of this suntan on anyface and feet which is much worse?

Make a mix of egg white andhoney and apply it to your face andeven feet. Leave it there for a 20minutes before washing off. Youshould apply a thicker coat of sunscreen on your feet as they getterribly tanned, as at least for theface you have dark glasses, etc.

QA&


&

some oil also comes to the surface.However, to fight it, you just apply avery thin slice of apple to your oilyarea.

If you have access to real butter -milk from which all fat has beenremoved use that as a face wash.Egg white in a face pack is also goodto control oiliness.

With constant exposure to sun myblemishes tend to show more. Whatcan I do to make them lighten up?

You have not mentioned your age.However, you should take freshcarrot, grate it and use the liquid withcotton on your blemishes. Dab it andlet it dry naturally.

Regular use will affect theblemishes. Also, consult a dermatolo -gist to ensure there is no deep-setreason for these blemishes.

I want a quick-fix body exfoliatorwhich is soothing and effective insummer. What should I do which canbe ready in a short time?

Grind some almonds and keepthem ready – they should not bepowder but effective as exfoliationmaterial. Mix some fresh mint leavesand a teaspoon of honey. Apply onyour body and leave on for a fewminutes. Then rub it in with smallcircular movements and this will helpyou get rid of dead skin as also boostblood circulation.

My friends tell me that washing hairwith beer makes it good but nobodyin my home drinks beer and I don’twant to buy beer just for my hair.What do I do?

In beer it is the glycerine and hopscontent that is good for the hair. Youcan make an easy alternative withbarley water. Add some lemon juiceto it and use it as a last rinse. Or youcan make a mix of egg white, lemonjuice and some barley water andapply to your scalp.

Shampoo after half an hour andthen use barley water and lemonjuice for a last rinse. Do not put plainwater after that.

I had a patch of pink skin at thebase of my neck at the back. Thedoctor said it was Leucoderma. Hewas able to stop its spread but healso forbade me from going out insun. Will it get worse if I am in thesun?

Yes, the sun’s effect on skin whichin any case has less melanin canmake the problem worse. If you haveonly one affected spot, it would bebetter to take precautions than besorry later. You have obviously con -sulted the doctor well in time, andso might as well get the full benefitof that and take all the neededprecautions.

The skin on my knees and elbowsseems very rough and dry. What canI do?

We often ignore these areas ofour body and they get neglected andrough skin builds up. Make a paste ofone tsp milk powder, half an eggwhite and half tsp lemon juice. Applyto the area and leave for a fewminutes before washing off. Also, youcan massage olive oil at night tosoften the skin here.

I tend to get a film of oiliness on myface most of the time. I work fromhome and do not use much make-up,so I wonder how to combat this in themost natural way.

Well, oiliness in the morning asyou wake up or after a few hours isnot unhealthy as, when you sweat,

Should we have a shower before orafter the swim? What is better for thehair?

Your hair is porous and can takewater and retains it. So, if you washit only with water just before youenter the pool the damage causedby chlorine would be minimal. Andif you wash it with shampoo afteryour swim then your hair would berid of any chlorine you haveaccumulated.

Since we sweat so much duringsummer, is there still a need toexfoliate so regularly. What is thebest exfoliator in this season ofexcessive heat?

While we sweat we are alsobuilding dead cells that make our skinappear dull. Use milder forms ofexfoliation which you can tweak informulations at home. Mix almondmeal with yogurt, apply on your face

and neck and leave for half an hour.Moisten with warm water and rub offgently. If your skin is oilier you shoulddo this more often.

I love the smell of roses and want toknow how I can use it to make myhair smell of roses.

You can use either rose water oreven rose essential oil. Justremember to use the right proportionin your last rinse. If using theessential oil, just a drop or two in twomugs full of water is sufficient but ifusing rose water, you will need to useit almost in an equal quantity of waterso that the fragrance lingers.

I want to know how to make a lastrinse of tea for my hair which is ofwaist-length and can I just leave thisin the hair without washing it out?

Take two glasses of water and

when it is boiling add one teaspoon ofordinary tea leaves to it. Boil for twominutes. When it is cool just keep theliquid aside.

When you want to use it, add onebig teaspoon of lemon juice to it. Afteryour shampoo, and if you useconditioner, then after the conditionerslowly pour it over your hair and let thehair be covered in it. No need to putmore water to wash this off.

I have a good recipe of face packwith orange juice which is easy tomake in winter, but what do I do insummer?

You can take orange juice withoutadding sugar to it which is sold asdrink and use that. Alternatively youcan get orange essential oil and useliterally a drop of that. During nextwinter you can dry the orange peeland powder it to use in your facepack for similar results.

Geeta couldn’t understand how the voluptuous and tantalising danseuse who had been her businessman husband’s ex-fiancee, could remain his best friend and still be so generous to his wife. That’s till

she got to know Nandita properly. By Kasturi Rangachari

A woman Like Nandita

“Nandita called yesterday andcongratulated me,” Kumar said casuallyand I gave a slight start that he luckilydid not see. But he did see the surprisemixed with alarm that sprang into myeyes and he smiled in amusement. “Doyou find it strange that my ex-fiancee

should ring me up and congratulate me on myengagement to you?” he asked, a teasing note in hisvoice.

We were having dinner in an elite multi-cuisinerestaurant that was all the rage just then among thesophisticated crowd Kumar belonged to, and Istopped eating and stared at him nonplussed, notknowing what to say. Was I surprised? Yes, I was.Did I think it strange? Yes, I did. But could I tell himthat without him considering me immature andunsophisticated? No, I couldn’t!

“There is one thing that you must understand,Geeta,” he said, a little more seriously when itbecame obvious that I wasn’t going to reply to hisquestion. “Nandita and I split up, but we are stillgood friends. In fact, she is my best friend –someone to whom I can tell anything and everything– and I am probably her best friend too. Do youmind?”

Did I mind? Did I mind that a fascinating,beautiful, talented and captivating woman, awoman who was fast making a name for herself asa world-famous dancer was my husband’s bestfriend? Of course I did!

“Of course not,” I said as heartily as I could.“I understand.”

But the truth was that understanding the situationwas the last thing that I was capable of. For onething, I didn’t understand why any man in his rightsenses would be ready to give up a woman likeNandita. I thought of her statuesque figure, herrounded hips, her deep breasts, her heart-shaped

face, her bewitching smile, her beautiful eyes andher sweet voice – all of which were familiar to everyart-loving, newspaper-and-magazine-reading, TV-watching member of the public – and I glanced atKumar, wondering how he had been able to cometo terms with while losing all that.

But the sight of him made me ask myself anotherquestion. Why would someone as good-looking,urbane, successful, mature and wonderful as Kumar,want to marry a woman as prosaic and ordinary as Iwas? Marry a woman more than a dozen yearsyounger – he was 34 and I was 20 – and severallight years less mature and knowledgeable about

anything and everything, than he was? Even myname – Geeta – was one of the most common namesin the country!

But these were questions I had never dared askKumar, even in the moments we were close and hewas tender. Not only did I constantly feel the agedifference between us, but I was also incessantlyoverwhelmed by the thought of my ignorance aboutpractically everything and my general inadequacywhen compared to his experience, his sophisticationand the scintillating conversation he was capable ofon any topic under the sun.

“Nandita also told me that she’ll be in Mumbaifor a show tomorrow,” Kumar told me later, as hedropped me off at home. “I wonder how I missed theannouncement in the papers, but anyway I’mmeeting her after the performance for a late dinner.So I won’t be able to see you tomorrow.”

“That’s all right,” I mumbled, wondering why hewasn’t taking me along to meet his “best friend”. Asusual, he read my mind.

Ismiled weakly and, jumping out of thecar, shut the door behind me. Iremembered to turn and wave when I

reached the verandah of my home, but Iwas on the verge of tears as I went in.Nandita, the famous dancer who attractedeyes wherever she went, was going toattend my marriage to her ex-fiance whowas still her best friend! She and Kumarand their upper-crust, sophisticated friendsmight not find that strange, but my muchmore ordinary parents, already in a dazeabout the marriage their only daughter wasgoing to enter into, would. In fact, I didtoo!

And Nandita did attend my wedding. AtKumar’s insistence, we were having aregistered wedding attended only by close friendsand relatives and she swept in just as the clerkcalled us in. And, from that moment, I became anonentity at my own wedding!

Nandita was wearing a gorgeous designer sari,much more eye-catching than my own expensive, butsober Kancheepuram silk. Around her neck were anumber of long gold chains and she wore chunkybangles on her wrists. She had loads of mascara onher eyes, a big red bindi on her forehead and longstrings of jasmine in her hair.

She looked both dramatic and exquisite – justright for the dancer that she was. People havealways said that I am pretty, but my prettiness is aninsipid kind of prettiness. Next to her I was like asingle jasmine flower put beside a flaming crimsonrose!

Nandita brought lifeinto our rather staidgroup that day. She wasin high spirits and she laughed and jokedwith Kumar and his family and friends, all ofwhom she of course knew. But my relativesand friends had shell-shocked looks on theirfaces and my parents stood protectively oneither side of me, trying to smile but lookingwhat they were really feeling – outragedthat Nandita should have been soinsensitive as to attend Kumar’s weddingwhen they had been involved and had thenbroken up. Luckily, neither Nandita norKumar even noticed the tension thatsurrounded me.

Oddly enough, I understood. These peoplebelonged to a class of society that my family didn’tbelong to. We were definitely conservative middleclass, with all the usual middle-class hang-ups aboutnot wanting to make waves. But Kumar, Nanditaand their friends were part of the rich, to-the-manor-

born aristocracy and didn’t give a hootabout what people thought of them. I hadsomehow got involved with them and nowit was up to me to make myself acceptableto them.

We got through the formalities andKumar and I were married. My father anduncle signed as witnesses for me and, asKumar’s parents were no more, achildhood friend of his, Alok Mehta,signed for him first. I watched tensely tosee who would be his second witness. Hewas quite capable of asking his “bestfriend” Nandita to sign for him and shewould be quite capable of agreeing to. ButKumar asked an aunt who was the oldestmember of his family to be a witness and

she happily agreed and signed the register.

The start of my married life, my actual wedding,might not have been particularly pleasant, butlife after that was absolutely blissful. For some

reason I couldn’t really fathom, Kumar seemed tolove me very much and he was kind and tender and,above all, very patient with me. I blundered along,learning to run his palatial home as efficiently as hewanted, to manage his household help, to give goodparties, to entertain his friends and even to open mymouth without making a fool of myself.

Two years passed and we didn’t have a child, butneither of us minded too much. We were too happyto worry about anything and when the doctor told usthat nothing was wrong and that children wouldcome along when Nature decided that it was time


STORY

SHORT

I understood.These people

belonged to a classof society that my

family didn’tbelong to. Wewere definitelyconservative

middle class, withall the usualmiddle-class

hang-ups aboutnot wanting to

make waves.


for them, we accepted that and thoroughly enjoyedourselves in the interim.

“We must take Nandita to View from the Hill,”he’d say. “She loves Mexican food!” or “Thisboutique you’re getting your salwar suits from thesedays. You must take Nandita there.”

The jealousy I felt was not because I doubtedKumar. It was because I knew that though he lovedme, Nandita was special to him and that she washis friend in ways that I could never be.

The days that she was in town – never more thanthree or four – would be frantic. Though she wouldstay at either the Taj or the Le Meredien, she wouldspend all the time she could spare from rehearsalsand performances with us – either both of us or withjust me because Kumar often had work that he couldnot postpone.

When the three of us were together, I’d mostlyremain quiet because Kumar and Nandita would betalking their heads off. I’d stare at her as she talked– she always talked very animatedly, waving herhands about a great deal, various expressionsflitting, one after another, across her mobile face –and I’d wonder about their break-up. And, while Iwondered, the green-eyed monster would eat intome.

“My father teaches in a college and my mother ina school,” I told her. “We’re very ordinary people.The only thing special is that we have this ratherdilapidated and old, but large bungalow on theseafront in central Mumbai that my father inheritedfrom a distant relative. If it weren’t for thatbungalow, I would never have even met Kumar –there is no chance that our paths would ever havecrossed. But he bought a house near my home andhe liked going for walks along the seafront and I didtoo and we met...and I got lucky….”

Nandita leaned forward and stroked my cheek.“No, he got lucky,” she said softly.

I stared at her nonplussed. What sort of a womanwas this who could pay from-the-heartcompliments to the wife of a man she hadonce loved very much and whom she evennow loved very much as a friend? Was herlarge-heartedness the reason why Kumarwas so drawn to her?

One day, she spontaneously answered the question I had been dying to ask her.

“You wonder why Kumar and I brokeup, don’t you?” she asked while we werehaving lunch after a morning of hecticshopping on one of her visits. I gave a startand she laughed gaily and put herexquisitely manicured and bejewelled

hand on mine for a moment.“Kumar must have told you but I can guess how

he did it!” she said, a note of affectionate mockeryin her voice. “He gave you the bare bones. Told youthat I had fallen in love with someone else and thentold you that there was no need to ever talk aboutthe past again! But that bare-bones version didn’treally satisfy you, did it?”

“No, it didn’t,” I admitted ruefully.

She was silent for long minutes and sat gazinginto the distance as she went back to thosedays.

“I was an up-and-coming dancer in those days andKumar and I met in Delhi at a party given for thefamous dancer Veena Vasudevan. It was love at firstsight for both of us! We were a pair soon and weboth knew that some time in the future, when wewere both ready, when Kumar had establishedhimself and I had made a name for myself as aclassical dancer, we’d get married. But thereseemed no hurry for that to happen. We were fartoo happy living each exciting day to the full, tobother too much about the future!

“Those were the days that Kumar had first startedriding high, getting promotion after promotion and Ihad just joined Anandraj’s dance troupe. We wereboth doing well and we were both happy and busy.We spent our free time going for shows and spendinghours chatting with friends and with each other.

“Then Kumar began to think of branching out onhis own and, though I was all for it, it posed aproblem. He wanted to start business in Mumbai,but I was getting more and more involved withAnandraj’s troupe and didn’t want to leave Delhi.

“We discussed things and decided that, for thetime being, Kumar would move to Mumbai and Iwould stay on in Delhi. He’d test the waters inMumbai and I too would see if I could move there.

“Kumar went to Mumbai and set up hisconsultancy firm there. Business soonpicked up and he didn’t want to return toDelhi. But the dance troupe too began todo well. We began to give performancesall over the country and even abroad. Iwas given solos too in our performancesand I didn’t want to give all that up andmove to Mumbai and start afresh.

“We went on like that for two years. Wewere young, we loved each other and wewere filled with energy. We were sure thatwe could conquer the world – and that timeand distance could not destroy our love foreach other. We met for a few days everyfew months and we made those daysmemorable!

What sort of awoman was thiswho could payfrom-the-heartcompliments to

the wife of aman she had

once loved verymuch and whom

she even nowloved very much

as a friend?

“And then,” she paused, then looked at mesteadily and resumed speaking, “I became involvedwith Anandraj. It wasn’t that I fell out of love withKumar, it was just that Anandraj became more andmore a part of my life. Kumar was far away,Anandraj was always there – and perhaps for me,the immediate and the present are always moreimportant than the distant and the future. The factthat I had remained true to Kumar for two years,actually shows how much I had loved him!

“Besides, Anandraj and I had so much incommon! His exuberance and passions matchedmine and our great love for dance was anotherbond between us. He began to choreograph specialdances of me and, besides dancing as a part of thetroupe, I began to get invitations to give soloperformances. Fame, adulation and money were allcoming my way – and Kumar seemed very far awayfrom all that was happening in my life.”

Nandita sighed and put her hand on mine. “Iknow that you will wonder whatkind of woman I am to fall in and

out of love so easily. But Anandraj wasmy alter ego – he understood what I feltwithout my telling him – he lived todance, just as I did…and we bothrealised that we were fated to betogether.

“I hadn’t told Kumar about myfeelings till then – not because Iwanted to hide things from him, butbecause I was confused. But thenext time he came to Delhi I toldhim – with great trepidation! Helooked at me with so much pain inhis eyes that I felt as if my heart wasbreaking. Then he got up and walkedaway.

“I thought that he would never want to see meagain and I felt lost and lonely. I then realised that,though I needed Anandraj in one way, I neededKumar too, in another way and I was so unhappy.

“A few days later, to my great joy, Kumar cameto see me again. And he told me that he understood.That he realised that Anandraj and I were made foreach other in a way he and I weren’t, because ofour common love for dance. And he told me that heneeded me too – as a friend. I wept my heart outthat day and from then we have been best friends.Do you understand that?”

I couldn’t understand that. Surely, Kumar wouldhave felt betrayed and heartbroken? But I didn’t saythat and instead changed the subject.

“And then you married Anandraj? And heunderstood your friendship with Kumar?”

“Yes.”I didn’t understand that either. But then these

people belonged to a different world from the one Ihad grown up in and to which I still belonged!

I had one more question that I wanted to askNandita, but I didn’t dare ask it. Ours had been awhirlwind courtship and Kumar and I had gotmarried less than a year after he had broken up withNandita.

Nandita had been watching my face. Worldlywise as she was, it couldn’t have been difficult forher to read the thoughts going through my head.

“Are you happy, Geeta?” she asked.“I…suppose…so.”“You suppose so?” “I can be happy only if Kumar is and I don’t...

really see...how…he can be.”“What?” the surprise in Nandita’s voice was

unmistakable.“How can he be happy, really happy, with me,

when he has been involved with you? I must seemlike a glass of milk after a glass of champagne! Howcould he have forgotten you?”

“Oh my dear, are you blind?” Nandita asked.“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you see the passionate love inKumar’s eyes whenever he looks at

you?

I gaped ather as she wenton, “And, as formilk andchampagne, milk iswholesome andnourishing. Champagnemay be heady, but it leaves youwith a headache the next morning!”

I laughed then, laughed with her, feeling as if aweight off my mind.

“Now tell me, are you happy?” she asked meagain, this time with a smile and a teasing note inher voice.


“Blissfully happy! And I’d be ecstatic if I had achild.”

“A child!” Nandita’s voice became tender. “Yes.”“Mahima is four now, isn’t she?”“Four and a half.”“Doesn’t she miss you when you are away?”“I suppose she does. But she understands that

mummy has to go and dance wherever she’s askedto.”

From that day, I felt that I too had a friend inNandita. But I was still aware that she was Kumar’sfriend more than she could ever be mine.

Another two years passed and I still didn’tbecome pregnant. But, though I was disappointedabout that, I fulfilled a dream of mine by opening aboutique in which I sold clothes that I had designedmyself. Kumar funded that together with a smallworkshop in which four tailors and a fewapprentices made the clothes I designed. For somereason my boutique proved popular and I began tobe very busy and, when I was busy, I forgot aboutmy childless state.

She also seemed to be falling ill often. In fact,Anandraj too seemed to be falling ill frequently.Nandita and Kumar still seemed to need each

other and he made several trips to Delhi to see herduring this period. And then came another SOS, thistime because Anandraj was ill, and Kumar preparedto air-dash to Delhi again.

“Both Nandita and Anandraj seem to be falling illvery often,” I commented as I watched Kumarthrowing a few things into a bag, a frown of worryon his face. “What is it this time?”

“A bad cold that has gone to his chest andbecome pneumonia.” Kumar hesitated as if he werewondering whether to say anything further or not.He then seemed to decide not to, because he turnedaway.

“What is it?” I asked.“Nothing.”“No, there is something. Something

about Anandraj. About Nandita. Don’thide it from me.”

Kumar sat down and looked at me witheyes filled with pain. “You had better sitdown,” he said heavily and when I did so,he went on. “Both Anandraj and Nanditatested positive for HIV two years ago andnow both have full-blown AIDS.” As Istared at him stunned, he went on softly,“Anandraj picked up the infection througha blood transfusion. But he initially did notknow that he had the infection and he gaveit to Nandita.”

My mouth fell open as terror filled my

heart. “And Mahima?” I cried.“She’s all right, thank goodness.”“Why didn’t you tell me all this earlier? I’m sure

that Nandita told you right after she and Anandrajcame to know.”

“I didn’t want to upset you.”“Upset me? Well, you’ve upset me now all right!

And you are not going to visit them again!” “Geeta, control yourself! Be reasonable.”“I am being reasonable. If both Anandraj and

Nandita have full-blown AIDS, I don’t want you togo there and nurse them!”

“But there’s absolutely no danger in being withAIDS patients or in nursing them!”

“Then why are doctors and nurses said to be indanger from patients with AIDS? Why do nursinghomes turn them away and why do surgeons refuseto operate on them?”

“Well, surgeons are at some risk but...”“And so is anyone who nurses them during the

last stages!”“No! And anyway, I’m not going to nurse them!”“I know you! You will nurse Nandita if she needs

nursing. And you are not going to!”For the first time since I had known him, Kumar

became angry with me. “I am going to Delhi,Geeta,” he said, his voice cold. “Just accept that.”

“No, I won’t let you go!”As he watched me puzzled, I picked up the

phone and dialled Nandita’s number. When herealised what I was doing, he tried to grab thephone from me, but by that time Nandita had pickedthe receiver up.

“Nandita,” I said, “I’m Geeta speaking.”“Hi, Geeta! Is Kumar leaving today?” Nandita

sounded tired and weak.I hesitated and refused to meet Kumar’s eyes.

“Nandita,” I said. “Kumar has just told meabout…about your illness.”

“I see.”“I’m very sorry. More sorry than I can

say.”“Yes.”“But...I can’t let Kumar come there.”

Nandita was silent and I went on, “I maybe wrong, but I’m terrified that he will pickup the...the infection.”

“I understand!” Nandita’s voice wasfilled with affection. “It’s all right.”

“I’m sorry…”“Don’t be. I said I understand.”“Kumar is angry with me.”“Let me talk to him.”I silently handed the receiver to my

husband. He took it and listened for a longtime as Nandita spoke to him. “All right,”


“How can he be happy,really happy,

with me, whenhe has been

involved withyou? I mustseem like a

glass of milkafter a glass ofchampagne!”

he said finally. “I won’t come. And no, I’mnot angry with Geeta.”

“How are they?” I would ask every timeKumar and Nandita spoke to each other.Kumar would shake his head and tell meseriously that both were worse.

“Nandita is weakening faster thanAnandraj,” he told me one day.

I was thoroughly confused those days.Had I been right in preventing Kumar fromgoing and seeing Nandita? Was it partlyjealously that had made me so adamant?If it was so dangerous to go anywherenear AIDS patients, would there be somany educated and prominent peoplefighting for greater justice for them? Had Ibeen wrong, terribly wrong, in preventing Kumarfrom going to see his best friend?

And Nandita was such a wonderful person. Shewas a free spirit who lived life on her own terms, butshe was also warm and loving and giving, and shebrought laughter and joy wherever she went.

And what about little Mahima? What would thatchild be going through? Nandita had no closefamily, but Anandraj had two brothers. Would theybe looking after her now? Would one of them adoptthe little girl after ... after she was orphaned?

I began to talk to activists and to surf the Internetfor information on the transmission of AIDS. And as Ilearnt more and more about the disease, my heartsank and I was filled with guilt. I had been so wrongin keeping Kumar and Nandita apart!

And then one day, just around the time I hadbegun to wonder what to do, Anandraj rangup and told Kumar that Nandita was dying. I

flicked on the speaker-phone so that I too could hearAnandraj’s words. “She’s desperate to tell yousomething,” Anandraj told Kumar. “She’s writingyou a letter and I’ll send it as soon as she hasfinished it. Only she is so weak that she is not ableto write more than a few lines at a time...”

“Anandrajji,” I interrupted, my eyes on Kumar’spain-filled face, “Kumar will fly there and meetNandita. Please tell her that.”

“Geeta…”“Tell Nandita that I’m sorry my foolishness kept

her from seeing her best friend during the time sheprobably needed him the most,” I said. “She needn’twrite what she wants to tell him. She can tell himwhat she wants in person.”

“Then he should come quickly. I don’t know howmuch time she has.”

“He’ll be there this evening.”I turned and looked at Kumar. He smiled and held

his arms open and I walked into them.

Kumar left by a late afternoon flight. Hehad told me that he would phone as soonas he had spoken to Nandita and she hadtold him what was troubling her and Iwaited restlessly for his call. It came late atnight.

“She’s dying, Geeta,” said Kumar and Iknew that he was fighting to hold back histears. “It won’t be much longer...a coupleof days perhaps...perhaps less...andAnandraj won’t be with us much longereither. He’s better than she is now, but Iknow that he will not be able to takeNandita’s death.”

I did not know what to say. “Please staythere as long as you are needed,” I said

finally and then asked, “What was it that shewanted to tell you?”

There was a long silence. “Kumar,” I asked, “areyou all right?”

He cleared his throat. “Yes,” he said.“What did Nandita want to tell you? Anandraj

said that she was desperate.”There was another pause and then Kumar spoke.

“She wants you ...me... us...to take Mahima,” he said.“Bring her up as our own. And Anandraj says that ifthat is what Nandita wants, that is what he too wants.”

I sat down, my legs too weak to bear my weight.Nandita was generous even in death!

“Oh, Kumar!” I gasped, my voice filled withemotion. “We’ll have a daughter!”

“Are you sure, Geeta? It will mean a bigresponsibility. Mahima is nearly eight years old nowand, after the double tragedy that will hit her soon, itwon’t be easy to make her feel secure and loved.And she has been brought up in a very different way... There will be clashes, problems.”

“There are no problems that love cannot solve. Iwant her, Kumar!”

“Then…I will bring her back with me. But I willhave to stay here till…the end.”

“Of course.”“Nandita said something else, Geeta. She told

me to tell you to bring Mahima up to be like you.She said that there is nothing like a glass ofnourishing milk. What did she mean?”

“I’ll tell you later. But you tell her that I would likeMahima to grow up to be like her – a loving andgiving person who follows her heart and lives lifefully.”

“I’ll tell her that.”I put down the phone. Yes, I would do my best to

bring Mahima up to become a woman like Nandita.I was sad when I thought of what was happening inDelhi, but I was also filled with dreams – dreams formy daughter, Mahima.


Anandrajpicked up the

infectionthrough a

bloodtransfusion.

But he initiallydid not know

that he had theinfection andhe gave it to

Nandita.

We

Gautam Sarkar is the ChiefExecutive Officer of Gala of London.With a wealth of experience, he iskeeping the organisat ion’s f lagflying.

Face and hand care areuppermost in any woman’s mindas regards the total beautificationof her body. What parts need thespecial attention?

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Hand care is an important part ofdaily care routine. Do manicureregularly. During manicure applycuticle softener to remove undesiredcuticles. After that clean your nailswith Nail polish remover, then applybase coat, after that apply nail polishas per your choice, on top of thatapply top coat, which will provide anextra lustrous look and will ensurelong stay of your nail colour. Basecoat will prevent your nails fromstaining which can be caused by darkshades of nail colour and also it willhelp to provide a finished look to yournail paint.

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Remove nail colour, i f any isapplied before, apply Cuticle softeneron your nails with cotton, and leave itfor five minutes then remove the cuticle.

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Yes, it’s again the same brand –

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COSMETIC GALAThe delicate way to take care of your faceand hands. By Our Correspondent

We

Gautam Sarkar, CEO

your hairThe ways you can wear

Here are somedifferent hairstyles. You choosethe one best suitedto your personality.Surely, the hairdowill enhance yoursexuality.

Here are somedifferent hairstyles. You choosethe one best suitedto your personality.Surely, the hairdowill enhance yoursexuality.

A perfect regal look

Woman’s hairstyle changeswhenever the situation and

trend demand it. The style istruly a matter of personal

preference, and the intendedmood it wants to create.

Target in sight

Figure me out

Invitation to romance

The decisive move

Making upthe mind

It was my first day in office and I entered it withsome trepidation. Back at college, I wasboisterous and this apprehension was quitealien to me. But this wasn’t college and neitherwas I amongst my notorious gang. I glancedaround nervously. It was like any othercorporate office. Sophisticated, spick and span

with plush interiors, wooden cabins, glass partitionsand immaculately dressed young men at their desks.I looked around for ladies.There were quite a few ofthem dressed in elegant pant suits.

I looked at myself. Since I was not sureabout the dress code I had to debate aboutwhat I should wear. I didn’t want to beeither too modern or too traditional. So Ifinally decided for a pair of jeans with adecent, well-fitting long top. Luckily, Iwasn’t looking out of place. Must get acouple of pant suits, I resolved.

I headed for the receptionist whodirected me to the CEO. Contrary to myexpectations, the CEO was a smart andsuave young man with a no-nonsenseattitude. With a brief “hi” and a warmsmile, he quickly glanced over myappointment letter and entrusted me to hispersonal assistant.

The PA escorted me to my cabin and introducedme to those around. Everyone seemed to beamicable. The PA briefed me on my job assignmentand asked me to get acquainted with the files andreports. My fears being assuaged, I settled downcomfortably in my chair.

I switched on the system and began to go throughthe files when I was scared out of my wits.

“Hi gorgeous! I am delighted at this new additionto the existing bevy of beauties.”

The voice sounded so near in my ear that I almost

jumped out of my chair.He must have been around 35 having a medium

height, medium complexion, a growing belly and areceding hairline. What was more striking abouthim was his dress. A dark green pants with adesigned rani pink shirt. (Goodness knows fromwhere he got the fabric!) My nose automaticallywrinkled up in distaste.

What a weird dress!“Dying to know more about me? Well, let me

have the pleasure of introducing myself. Iam Samuel, Sam in short – and sweet to allmy close ones, especially to you,” helooked into my eyes and grinned at me. Icould not utter a word, unable to come outof my shock.

“Well, we have countless days aheadand lots of fun to look forward to. Till then,bye, dear.”

He left me gaping after him. I watchedhim going around, exchanging a word ortwo with everyone, shaking hands withsome and patting the shoulders of others.He scampered around for a while anddisappeared into the CEO’s cabin.

I expected him to come out with a sullenface as he was a good half an hour late

and I have heard that in a corporate office, everyminute counts. He came out after a while but ascheerful as before and disappeared again.

What a strange man! I could not help but say thisto myself. Amongst these sophisticated and amiablepeople, he seemed to be a misfit.

It was lunchtime and I joined the others for lunch.There was only one common room for men andwomen. I look out my lunch box doubtfully. I had tocarry it to satisfy my mother. But I was relieved tosee that the others carried their lunch too. I opened

Appearances can often be deceptive. By Leena Raj


The Peculiar Man

I headed for thereceptionistwho directed

me to theCEO.

Contrary tomy

expectations,the CEO was a smart andsuave youngman with a no-nonsense

attitude.

my box and held it out to others.“Wow! Parathas! My favourite, What luck!”The strange man appeared out of the blue and

grabbed the tiffin box from my hand.“I’m sure you have made a study of my likes and

dislikes before you joined this office. Otherwise,how would you know that I love parathas? Anyway,thanks,” he began munching my parathas while Ifumed inside.

What a mannerless fellow! How shameless toeat my food without my offering it! And hisaudacity to say that I made a study of his

likes and dislikes! Why should I? To trap him? Whatdoes he think of himself? Prince Charming? Forgetabout falling for him, he doesn’t even deserve asecond look! While I boiled inside, he gobbled upmy parathas and disappeared within no time.

I thought the others would sympathise with me butnobody seemed to have noticed anything amiss.They all offered me their boxes oblivious of myanger. After some time, the attendant came with aplate of sandwiches and coffee and placed thembefore me. Seeing the questioning look on my facehe informed, “Sir has sent this for you.”

“Which sir?”“Oh, it must be Sam, in return for your parathas,”

said Divya.

Oh, the dumb headhad a fragment of sensein him! But I was in nomood to accept anything from him.

It was my birthday that day. It hadalways been my habit to treat my friends tochocolates and home-made cake for whichthey all craved. So mom packed a largebox full of cake slices which I offered to mycolleagues. They showered me with wishesand relished the delicious chocolate cake.

“Hey, what’s going on here?”Goodness! It was the pest, the last person

on earth whom I would wish to see, at leasttoday. I had no option but to offer him aslice.

“Happy birthday, dear,” he popped the slice intohis mouth. “Reminds me of my schooldays,” hechuckled.

“Why?” I frowned.“Birthday party, celebration, cake, chocolates are

all a part of schooldays, you know!” he said.“Why?” Don’t you celebrate your birthday?” I

countered.“If at all I have one. My illiterate parents were too

ignorant to note down my date of birth. And the onerecorded in my certificates is not the real one. Sowhy bother? Saves money, doesn’t it?”

“But, surely, you must be celebrating yourchildren’s birthdays,” I stressed the word ‘children’. Iwanted him to know that his age was conspicuous.

“Oh yes, I surely do with pomp and gaiety,” hestretched his arms wide.

Disgusting! It was not only impossible to talk tohim but also useless. And he spoilt my day. He wasgetting on my nerves far too much. How I wished hewould vanish into thin air!

It looked like a bad day for me. I prepared aproject with great care but the correctionssuggested by the project manager meant redoing

the whole thing. The deadline being the next day, Ihad no option but to stay back and redo it. Iprepared myself mentally. While all the others left bytheir usual time, I sat down with my work.

“No intention of going home? Had a fight withmom? Planning to run away from home?”

Oh, no! Not the odd man again to add to mywoes! “I have to complete my project,” I saidwithout taking my eyes off the computer.

“Need any help?”“No, thanks,” I said curtly.

“Okay, as you wish,” saying so hewalked away. The thick-skinned man! No

shame to talk to me time and again beingfully aware that I hated him like hell. Anyway, I


STORY

SHORT

had no time to waste on him. I concentrated on mywork.

I came out of the office with the satisfaction ofredoing the project perfectly. But my happinessevaporated as I saw the pest seated on his bike andchatting with the watchman. Why was he hangingaround here! I frowned.

“Come on, I’ll drop you home,” he offered.“Thanks, but no. I can go by myself,”“But finding a rickshaw at this time is next to

impossible.”I looked at him in disbelief.“Yes, madam, you cannot get an auto here. At

least sir can drop you at the rickshaw stand fromwhere you will be able to get a ride,” said thewatchman. I had to yield, though grudgingly.

Sleep eluded me that night. What could be theintention of the peculiar man? Why did he hangaround after everybody left? That too knowing

that I was the only one around. Why did he offer mea lift? To create an impression or with an evilintention? If I had not insisted on getting down at theauto stand where could he have taken me?

Our office was in the suburbs and there is nodearth of lonely roads and dark places. I onlythought of him as a foolish man but – who knows –he might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I had to becareful with him. I decided to voice my doubts toDivya.

“Yesterday, I was late in completing my projectand as I came outside, I saw Mr Samuel waiting.”

“Was he? Trust him for that. Whenever one of usgets late, he always stays back to escort us home.He feels that it is not safe for women to go alone atnight. So sweet of him.”

“But, isn’t he eccentric?”“Don’t bother Nisha,” Divya laughed. “You’ll get

used to his ways.”Well, the others may find him kind and sweet, but

not I. But why should I ruin my peace for his sake? Idecided to ignore him.

At around 11 o’clock that day, Ramnath, ourattendant, received a phone call. His 6-year-olddaughter fell from the steps while playing and wasrushed to the hospital. Her condition was critical.The poor man was devastated. The girl was his onlychild.

The news pricked our hearts. Ramnath was asimple man, honest, sincere and hard-working. Myheart went out to him and I wanted to help him insome way or other. I approached the personnelassistant and told him of my intention. I told him thatwe need to help Ramnath in his crisis.

“Why not? Sure, what do you think we shoulddo?”

“Sir, we can all make some contribution whichwill help him meet the hospital expenses.”

“Good idea! So you take the initiative and do theneedful.”

Iwent around asking for contributions. I was gladthat everyone contributed generously andwillingly. Now there’s only one person left, the

odd man. Should I ask him or not? This is no time forpersonal grudges, I reprimanded myself. I must domy part.

I approached him half-heartedly.“Mr Samuel, there is a tragedy in Ramnath’s

house and we have decided to help him financially.So, if you could kindly donate some money it wouldbe of great help to him.”

He was busily arranging the files in his cabin. Iwas not sure if he had followed what I said. “MrSamuel, what about your contribution?”

“Later,” he said, without as much glancing at me.He took his bike keys and rushed outside.

‘What a heartless man!’ No time to spare for anoble cause, for a moment! He rushed out as if the

world had caught fire. At other times he wouldbe grinning and talking nonsense, but now,when it came to money, he became silent.What a hypocrite!’ I felt hurt. I should nothave asked him, after all. Anyway, Icollected a good amount and I proceeded toreach it to Ramnath. Ramnath did not cometo office the next 2 days. He came on the

third day. There was relief on his face. Wesurrounded him asking about his daughter.“She is fine and recovering fast. She lost a

lot of blood and needed blood transfusion.Fortunately, Samuel sir was there in time. He

donated his blood. He visited us with hisfamily and they brought us dinner one day.He even offered to arrange money towardsthe hospital bill but there was no need forthat. You all have been so kind andgenerous that I was able to clear the billwithout any difficulty,” he folded his handswith tears in his eyes.

I was bewildered. ”Unbelievable!” theword came out of my mouth instantly.

“What?” it was Divya beside me.“That the peculiar man has a humane

side in him.”“The peculiar man? You mean. Sam? He

has always been like that. One can rely onhim for any help.”

“But, the way he talks and acts...” I could nolonger control my apprehensions.

“Oh! By nature he is an outgoing, humorousperson. He believes in making people happy andtension-free. He wants to enliven those around him.So it is just harmless talk that he indulges in. Why,he calls us dear and darling but he nevermisbehaves with us! So don’t take him seriously. Youknow, he has one son and he adopted a girl froman orphanage. And every year he celebrates hiskids’ birthdays with the children at the orphanage.

He is always dependable and trustworthy.”I was dumbfounded. I mused over the

past events. I tried to remember andrecollect if he had ever tried to flirt with me.No, never. Then why did I detest him somuch? Maybe because of his appearanceand his unusual behaviour and his uglydress sense. But not all people have agood sense of dress. And how did I forgetthat appearances are deceptive? No doubthis manners were queer but what’s theharm in that as long as there was nomalice in him? And, while I gloated overmy little act of charity, he concealed hismagnanimity.

“Dreaming about me, as usual?” It washe.

“Yes,” I looked him in the face.“And what am I in your dreams?”“A warm friend, an affectionate brother and a

compassionate human being.”“Enough, I’m flattered, I’m elated. If you don’t put

an end to your eloquent speech, I may burst like aballoon!”

For the first time, I joined in his laughterwholeheartedly. After all, the peculiar man hadhelped me in understanding him.


We

He was busily

arranging thefiles in his

cabin. I wasnot sure if hehad followedwhat I said.

“Mr Samuel,what

about yourcontribution?”

Jab we met

My family shifted to Kalyan in1995 when I was in the 8th standard.New place, new school, new friends.Sanchaita was one of my new friendsover there and later became one ofmy best friends. I used to go to herhome and from there we used to gotogether to school.

The scene at her place I vividlyremember is that of her elder brothersitting near the window, engrossed inhis books. We hardly spoke to eachother. Just an occasional ‘hi’ or‘hello’ and the conversation used tostop there.

It was in September ’07 (almostafter 12 years) that I got an SMSinquiring my office timings. Thiscame to me as very surprising as we

were hardly in touch. I replied. Thenext SMS was if I was interested inhaving a cup of coffee with him afterthe office hours. I denied his requesttactfully. This was followed by a seriesof SMs and e-mails cajoling me for ameeting and the reason being hewanted me to help him with a problem,which he could not discuss at home. Iagreed to meet him after much coaxingand giving due consideration to thefact that he is my best friend’s brother.

He was the first to come that day.Though we had not seen each other forthe last three-four years, I had noproblem in recognising him in thecrowded Dadar overbridge. We sat in arestauarant and after some casualconversation he came to his problem.He wanted me to help him in proposingto a girl he liked, but didn’t know howto go about it. He started jotting downpoints on a paper, like his expectations,likes, dislikes, qualifi cations, job, etc.Though, I felt this act of his funny, Ikept quiet. He handed over the paperto me and said, “Go through this, I willgive you time, let me know how to

propose to that girl:”Realisation dawned that the girl

was me and the paper was his marriagebio-data. I was in a dilemma for daysthat followed, whether to say yes orno, for he fitted into my definition of‘husband’, but the onlydisqualification being that he was of adifferent caste. After three days I wascalled again, as it was my turn to offera solution. He had planned it to be acasual meeting. However, as ourconversation started, he sensed that Iwas aware of the ‘girl’ in question andthere was no point in continuing withhis game. He didn’t waste any furthertime and just popped the question. Ididn’t say ‘Yes’ but neither did I say‘No’. This was the beginning of ourrelationship. Our families acepted ourrelationship. We got engaged afterthree months and got married on 3May, 2008 exactly seven months afterour first meeting. A lovely feelingcreeps in on thinking how twostrangers became sweethearts becauseof just one meeting.

– Resitha Vivek.

Since time immemorialwomen have beenadorning themselves withornaments to draw theirbeloveds closer.Naturally, gold and gemshave become theirsecond love.

beautyEmbellishment to

Beautifullylayered necklace

Glitteringdanglers

Enticing necklace

Trendy earrings

A necklace for special occasion

Crescent-shaped one

Danglers of a class

Wearing it you willbe conspicuous

Made for your slender neck

A picture of complete ornamentation

A drooping necklaceand diamond danglers

Diamonddanglers and

hangingnecklace

Jewellery: DTC Ltd.Bank Street, Karol Bagh, New Delhi.Wholesaler & RetailerPh: 011-45678333

Q44 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

Sit with them when they have notdone anything naughty and are in apositive state of mind. Tell them thatyou do not like beating them andwould definitely want to stop doing sobut you need their support. Tell themthat there are certain things they do,that provoke your anger and it wouldbe best for all if they were avoided. Ifthey forget to abide by the rules set,you can give sharp commands thatthey should obey. If this does notwork, you will have to tell them toforgo something they enjoy, forexample a cartoon programme, if theydisobey you. On the other hand,reward them with praise, hugs andkisses, if they have been good. Donot fall into the trap of rewarding themwith materialistic gains (likechocolates) for good behaviour, for itwill send the wrong signals.

I have recently delivered my firstchild and though I ambreastfeeding him I am worried ifhe is getting adequate amounts offeeds. Please tell me how to gaugethis. I have seen that even after afull feed he wants to suckle myfinger if I put it in his mouth. Is thisa sign of hunger? Please tell me if Ishould add bottle milk.

Sucking of the finger even aftera full feed is not an indicator ofhunger. This is called the rootingreflex that all babies have at birth.Crying alone doesn’t always

indicate hunger. The baby could bewet, sleepy or in pain. Weight gain isthe best parameter of an adequatefeed. It should be around 25gm/dayor about 750-1000gm in one month.

I have a six-month-old boy who wasborn prematurely at 30.5 weeks. Hehas a slight squint in the left eye. Is itbecause of prematurity? Can it berectified?

The squint may or may not be dueto prematurity. There is nothing thatcan be done about it at the momentthough it is good to remain in touchwith an ophthalmologist. The squintmay disappear on its own as the childgrows older. If this does not occur,the ophthalmologist will prescribesome eye exercises to overcome themuscle weakness for that is thecommonest cause of a squint. Theseexercises have to be done diligentlyto preserve binocular vision. Ifexercises fail, surgery might be ofhelp.

Children with a squint should beoperated upon early for delay intreatment could result in lifelongmonocular vision instead of thenormal binocular vision. This isbecause the brain will register onlythe images sent by the straight eyeand ignore those sent by thedefective eye. If untreated, the eyewith the squint is eventually left withno useful vision.

Any correction done later thaneight years of age will only be forcosmetic purposes. Yourophthalmologist is your best guide.

– Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.A&

My daughter is 10 months old andhas not yet developed a single tooth.Her gums however are hard and shebites hard on anything she lays herhands on. She also drools a lot thesedays. I am worried about this delaysince her elder brother, who is nowthree years old, erupted his first toothat six months of age. Please tell me ifI need to consult a doctor. What is theright age for the first tooth to erupt?

The first tooth usually eruptsaround the 6th month but there is awide variation. If all her othermilestones are normal, sooner orlater her teeth will erupt especiallynow that her gums have becomehard. Drooling could also signify theonset of teething.

On the other hand if her othermilestones like neck holding, sittingup etc. too are delayed she needs tobe checked up thoroughly. Take herto a paediatrician to confirm or ruleout any problematic conditions.

I have two children, a six-year-old girland a four-year-old boy. I love themboth a lot but they are so naughty thatI am not able to control my anger. Ibeat them and then feel badafterwards. Please give me tips onanger management and also tell mehow to discipline them without havingto resort to violence.

Whatever the provocation oneshould not beat one’s children. Eitherthey become rebellious andaggressive or become suppressedand develop a negative personality.

My six-year-olddaughter has finelaugh lines. VitaminE oil was suggested.How do I use it? DoI apply it on thelaugh lines only or

on the whole face?The laugh lines your little

daughter has got are not the laughlines people get as a result of theageing process. You do not haveto worry about them or think oferasing them. First of all they willnot go, secondly they need notreatment. Vitamin E oil is per segood for the skin. A few drops canbe applied on the whole face asroutine daily skin care.

mutton with this paste adding saltto taste. Keep the meat aside for2 hours. Heat a thick-bottomedpan and add the oil and allow thewhole spices to splutter. Lowerthe heat and add the marinatedmutton with the marinade andcook this on medium heat for 8-10minutes, stirring all the time. Cooktill most of the juices in the muttonhave been soaked into the muttonpieces. Now add the rice and stir-fry for 3-4 minutes. Add justenough water for the rice to cook.If there are any juices left from themarinade, then you will need toadd water accordingly. Cover witha lid and cook on low fire till therice is tender and all the water isevaporated. Serve with raita.

RICE MOULDSINGREDIENTS:2 cups of ricesalt to taste1 tsp of oil

For the first layer:1/2 cup of spinach pureesalt to taste1/2 tsp of roasted jeerapowder


RICE ANDFRANKFURTERSALADINGREDIENTS:1 cup of cooked, long-grainedrice3-4 frankfurters2 tsp of olive oil

For the salad dressing:3 tsp of olive oil1 tsp of coarsely crushed redchillies1/2 tsp of oregano powder1 tsp of vinegar2 tsp of sugar syrup1 tsp of spicy tomato sauce

METHODMix all the ingredients for the

salad dressing and prepare atangy dressing.

Heat the olive oil and fry thefrankfurters on medium heatturning once or twice so that allthe sides are cooked. Allow tocool slightly and then cut intohalf-inch pieces.

In a salad bowl mix the rice,frankfurters and pour thedressing over it and toss gently.Serve chilled as a salad.

Believe it, youwill not put theplate down,once you havethese items on it. By Roma Ghosh

A VEG-NON-VEG MIXMUTTONPULAOINGREDIENTS:700 gm of mutton1 cup of dahi3 tsp of ginger-garlic paste2 tbsp of onion paste2 tbsp of tomato paste3 tbsp of oil1 inch piece of cinnamon 3 cloves2 cardamoms2 dried red chillies2 cups of ricesalt to taste

METHODPrepare a marinade by mixing

the dahi, ginger, garlic, onion,tomato pastes. Marinate the

Rice andfrankfurter salad

Mutton pulao

RICE PAKORASINGREDIENTS:1 cup of cooked rice (you couldalso use leftover cooked rice)2 tsp of grated cheese3 tsp of rice flour1 tsp of corn floursalt to taste1/2 cup of coconut milk3 tsp of chopped corianderleaveschopped green chilliesoil for deep frying

METHODPlace all the ingredients in a

mixing bowl and mix with yourfingers mashing some of the rice.Prepare a batter which is dry andthe coconut milk is absorbed in it.You may need to add a few tspof water to ensure that the doughis of a binding consistency.

Heat oil for deep frying anddrop small portions of the batter inhot oil and fry small crispypakoras.

EATING RICETHE HEALTHYWAYINGREDIENTS:1 cup of rice1 cup of leafy vegetables – anysaag – spinach, sour spinach oreven red saagor any other saag available 1/2 cup of chopped and peeled

pumpkinsalt to taste1 tbsp of chana dalsoaked in water for 15minutes1 tbsp of oil1 red chilli

METHODWash the saag well.

Clean the rice and soak therice in water and leaveaside for 1 hour. Heat theoil in a pan and add the redchill ies and allow tosplutter. Add the soakedrice and dal and stir-fry for3 minutes. Lower the heatand add the leaves and thepumpkin and stir foranother 1-2 minutes. Add 2cups of water and add saltto taste. Cover with a lidand cook on low fire till allthe water has evaporated.Serve hot with aachar. We

Courtesy: India Gate Basmati RiceNew Delhi. Ph: 011-26548400

For the second layer:1/2 cup of tomato sauce

METHODSoak the rice in water for 2

hours. Drain out the water andkeep aside. Boil 4 and a quartercups of water and add salt totaste. Lower the heat and mix inthe soaked rice. Mix gently andalso add the oil at this stage.Cover with a lid and allow the riceto cook on low fire till all the wateris evaporated. The rice shouldremain slightly sticky.Remove from fire anddivide the rice into twoportions. In one portionmix in the spinach, saltand jeera powder andmix gently and keepaside. In the secondportion mix in thetomato sauce.

To assemble: take amould and cover halfthe mould with thespinach rice and top itwith another layer oftomato rice. Press themould tightly and thenremove the mouldgently so that you havea double-layered mould.Prepare all the mouldsin this way. These canbe used to serve asstarters or a side dish toa main meal.

Rice moulds

Rice pakoras

Eating rice the healthy way

pieces of mango at one timeusing a clean spoon. Put back thelid and keep it in the sun fromtime to time. This aachar goeswell with pulao or vegetablebiryani.

TAMATARCHUTNEYWITH GREENMANGOESINGREDIENTS:


MANGOPICKLEINGREDIENTS:1 kg of raw green mangoes1 litre of mustard oil2 tsp of haldi powder1/2 tsp of asafoetida powder –hing5-6 tsp of salt

For the spice powder:2 tsp of saunf powder – aniseedpowder2 tsp of amchur powder20-25 dried red chillies 1 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds1/2 tsp of methi seeds –fenugreek 2 cloves2 tsp of mustard seedsMETHOD

This aachar is spicy. You couldreduce the amount of red chilliesif you want it less firy.

Dry-roast all the ingredients forthe spice powder. Cool to roomtemperature and grind to apowder in a mixer. Keep aside.

Choose raw green mangoeswhich are absolutely raw andhave not started to ripen even alittle. Choose hard and dark greenmangoes. Wash these well andcut into quarter-inch pieces.Sprinkle salt and haldi powderand keep in a clean steelcontainer. Cover with a muslincloth and allow the mangoes todry in the sun or even at roomtemperature for 2 days so thatmost of the moisture isevaporated.

Heat half the quantity of themustard oil and add the hingpowder and allow to splutter for30 seconds. Mix in the mangopieces and stir gently. Put off theheat, mix in the spice powder. Mixwell. In another pan heat theremaining mustard oil and pourover the spiced mango pieces.Allow to cool to roomtemperature. Put into glass bottlesand put the lid on the jar. Keep inthe sun for 8-10 days. Stays goodfor even a year if care is taken tokeep it clean. Take out only a few

It is pickling time.Put creativity

into your picklesand enjoy these

throughout the year.

By Roma Ghosh

FOR YOUR

TASTE BUDSMango pickle

Tamatar chutney withgreen mangoes

2 tsp of haldi powder11/2 tsp of asafoetida powder - hing2 tsp of saunf powder – aniseedpowder2 tsp of amchur powder2 tsp of red chilli powder 5-6 tsp of salt

METHODChoose raw green mangoes

which are absolutely raw andhave not started to ripen even alittle. Choose hard and dark greenmangoes. Wash these well andcut into quarter-inch pieces.Sprinkle salt and haldi powderand keep in a clean steelcontainer. Cover with a muslincloth and allow the mangoes todry in the sun or even at roomtemperature for 2 days so thatmost of the moisture isevaporated.

Crush the hing to obtain apowder. Also dry-grind the saunfto obtain a powder.

Heat half the quantity of themustard oil and add the hingpowder and allow to splutter for30 seconds. Now, add the saunfpowder and allow to splutter for30 seconds. Mix in the mangopieces and stir gently. Put off theheat, mix in the remaining spices.In another pan heat the remainingmustard oil and pour over thespiced mango pieces.Allow to cool to

room temperature. Pour into glassbottles and put the lid on the jar.Keep in the sun for 8-10 days.Stays good for even a year if careis taken to keep it clean. Take outonly a few pieces of mango at onetime using a clean spoon. Putback the lid and keep it in the sunfrom time to time. This aachar isnot very spicy but has a finearoma of hing and saunf . Tastesgood with patties.

CHILLIES ANDGINGER INVINEGARINGREDIENTS:200 gm of very small greenchillies called Thai chillies1 cup of ginger cut into juliennepieces

4 cups of vinegar orenough tocover the

chillies andginger

2 tsp of salt

METHODRemove the stems only

from the chillies and leavethese whole. Peel the ginger and

cut into thin julienne pieces. Washwell and pat-dry all the moisture.Place the ginger and chillies into aglass jar. Pour the vinegar and 1

1 kg tomatoes1 green mango weighing around300 gm1/2 tsp of haldi powder3-4 tsp of ginger-garlic paste3 tsp of tamarind paste2 tsp of green chilli paste1 cup of mustard oilsalt to taste

METHODWash the tomatoes. Cut into

halves and remove the eyes ofthe tomatoes and then cut intoquarters. Remove all the seeds.Peel the mango, remove thekernel and cut into very smallpieces. Run these pieces in amixture to obtain a paste.

Heat half the quantity of the oilin a kadhai. Add the ginger-garlicpaste and stir-fry for a minute. Mixin the tomato pieces and add saltto taste. Cover with a lid and cookon medium heat till most of themoisture from the tomatoes haveevaporated. Mix in the mangopaste at this stage. Stir-fry for 2minutes and mix in the green chillipaste and haldi powder and moresalt. Keep stirring and cooking onlow fire for another 3-4 minutes,adding the oil a little at a time atshort intervals. Once all the oil hasbeen used up and the aachar ismore or less dry, put off the heat.Cool to room temperature. Put intobottles. The aachar is ready foruse and will stay good for 2 weekswithout keeping in the fridge.Serve with kachories or pakoras.

MANGOPICKLE WITHASAFOETIDAINGREDIENTS:1 kg of raw greenmangoes1 litre of mustard oil


Mango pickle withasafoetida

Chillies and ginger in vinegar

cup of water and salt to taste.Close the lid. Shake well andallow to remain for 2 days beforeusing. Use it with steamed rice.Pour a few tsp with the vinegarand the chillies and ginger overnoodles or fried rice or even haveit with momos. Stays good for 2-3weeks. Make small quantities sothat the freshness of the pickle isenjoyed. Serve over steamed riceor plain boiled noodles.

CHILLIES WITHJAGGERYINGREDIENTS:200 gm of green chillies 150 gm of gur-jaggery2 tbsp of vinegar 2 tbsp of sugar 3 tbsp of tamarind paste11/2 cups of mustard oil salt to taste

METHODUse thin long green

chillies. Wash these welland make a slit half waysin each of the greenchillies. Sprinkle salt andkeep aside for 2-3 hours.Heat all the mustard oil tillsmoky. Keep half aside.The other half, pour into a

11/2 cups of corn niblets2 cups of mustard oil 1 tsp of red chilli powder1 tsp of amchur powder3 tsp of vinegarsalt to taste

METHODHeat 3 tbsp of mustard oil and

saute the corn niblets for 2-3minutes. Mix in the crushedchillies and fry for another minute.Add the salt, amchur powder andred chilli powder and mix well. Putoff the heat. In another pan heatthe remaining mustard oil and addto the green chil l i and cornmixture. Allow the aachar to coolto room temperature. Pour intoglass bottles and put the lid on thejar. Keep in the sun for 2-3 days.Stays good for 2-3 months. Trythe aachar with sandwiches.

GREENCHILLIESWITHMUSTARDAND MINTINGREDIENTS:250 gm of thin green chillies3 tsp of dry mustard powder

3 tsp of dry mint powder4 tsp of lemon juice3 cups of mustard oil11/2 tsp of salt

METHODDivide the chil l ies into two

portion. One portion leave thechillies whole and only make a slitin each of the chillies and leaveaside. The other half of the chilliescrush coarsely and keep aside.Heat 3 tbsp of the mustard oil andfry both the crushed and thewhole chillies for 2 minutes. Putoff the heat and mix in the


Chillies with jaggery

Corn and crushed chillies

kadhai and heat it once again.Lower the heat and mix in thegreen chil l ies. Cook for 2-3minutes. Make a paste by mixingthe crushed jaggery, tamarindpaste, vinegar , sugar and a fewpinches of salt. Add this paste tothe green chillies and put off theheat. Mix gently. Allow to cool toroom temperature. Pour into glassbottles and put the lid on the jar.Keep in the sun for 2-3 days.Stays good for 2-3 months.Tastes best with kebabs or evensmall puris.

CORN ANDCRUSHEDCHILLIESINGREDIENTS:1 cup of crushed green chillies

powders, salt and lemon juice.Mix well. Allow the aachar to coolto room temperature. Pour intoglass bottles and put the lid on thejar. Keep in the sun for 2-3 days.Stays good for 4-5 months.

AMRA PICKLEINGREDIENTS:200 gm of fresh green amra3 cups of mustard oil1/2 tsp of turmeric powder2 tsp of salt

For the spice powder:1 tsp of cumin seeds – jeera1 tsp of mustard seeds – sarso1/4 tsp of ajwain2 dried red chillies

METHODDry-roast the spices for the

spice powder and then grind intoa powder in a mixer. Keep aside.

Wash the amras, l ightlyremove the skin and cut into fourquarters. Dry under the fan or inthe sun for a few hours so that all

the moisture is evaporated.Sprinkle salt and haldi powderand keep aside, covered with aclean muslin cloth for about 3-4hours. Mix in the spice powderand mix gently. Heat themustard oil in a kadhai ti l lsmoky. Put off the heat and addthe spiced amras. Mix gentlyand allow to cool to roomtemperature. Fil l into glassbottles and tighten the lid. Keepin the sun for 3-4 days for the

amras to ‘cook’ in the oil underthe heat of the sun. Stays goodfor at least 3-4 months. Tastesgood with plain rice.

BLACK JAMUNSSTEWEDINGREDIENTS:250 gm of kala jamun 150 gm of sugar50 gm of broken cashew pieces

METHODWash the jamuns and pat-dry

with a kitchen towel. Boil 300 mlof water and add the sugar. Stir tillthe sugar melt. Bring the sugarsyrup to boil and then lower theheat. Add the jamuns and allowthese to simmer in the sugarsyrup for 3-4 minutes. Mix in thecashew pieces and stir gently. Putoff the heat and allow to cool toroom temperature. Keep in a

bottle and leave in the fridge.Serve 2-3 tsp with a few jamunsand the sugar syrup on a scoop ofice cream. Looks good and tastesdifferent. Also try serving it on aslice of cheese cake.

STEWED FRESHCHERRIESINGREDIENTS:300 gm of fresh cherries3/4 tsp of cinnamon powder2 tsp of black pepper powder150 gm of sugar

METHODRemove the stalks from the

cherries and wash these well.Pat-dry with a towel. Boil 250 mlof water. Add the sugar and stirtill the sugar melts. Mix in thecinnamon powder. Bring the syrupto boil till it begins to thickenslightly – this should take around3-4 minutes. Add the pepperpowder. Drop the cherries and


Green chillies withmustard and mint

Amra pickle

Black jamuns stewed

For the paste:4 tsp of tamarind paste150 gm of jaggery2 tsp of sugar

2 tsp of vinegar

METHODWash the mangoes

and dry these with acloth. Do not peel. Cut the

mangoes into one inch-longpieces with the skin. Boil 300 mlof water and add the wholespices. First add the kernel andallow this to boil in the water withthe spices for 2 minutes. Lowerthe heat and mix in the mangopieces. Boil on low fire adding saltand chilli powder stirring from timeto time. Once the mango skinbegins to turn colour and themangoes are half tender add thepaste. Mix all the ingredients i.e.tamarind, jaggery, sugar, vinegarand blend well to obtain a paste.Add this to the mango mixtureand stir gently. Allow themangoes to simmer in thisjaggery mixture for further 3-4minutes. Stir from time to time.Once the syrup begins to thickenput off the heat and allow thechutney to cool to roomtemperature. Store in air tightbottles. Stays good for almost amonth. When kept in the fridge itcan stay good for even 5-6months. Enjoy it with puris orparanthans.

JACKFRUITPICKLEINGREDIENTS:1 kg raw green jackfruit800 ml of mustard oil 1 tsp of haldi powdersalt to taste

For the spice powder:1 tsp of saunf – aniseed2 dried red chillies2 cardamoms3 cloves1 tsp of mustard seeds1/2 tsp of onion seeds

METHODPeel the jackfruit, discard the

skin and the seeds and cut into 1inch pieces. Boil 300-400 ml ofwater and add salt to taste. Dropthe jackfruit pieces in boilingwater and allow to simmer for 3-4minutes. Drain out all the excesswater and dry under the fan sothat all the moisture isevaporated. Once dry sprinklemore salt and haldi powder andkeep aside covered with a muslincloth for 3-4 hours.

Dry-grind all the ingredientsfor the spice powder coarsely.Keep aside. Heat the mustard oiltill smoky. Put off the heat andcool slightly. Mix in the spicepowder and stir gently. Cool theoil to room temperature and thenmix in the jackfruit pieces and mixwith a wooden spoon. Put into

allow these to boil in thecinnamon sugar syrup for 4-6minutes on low fire. Once thesyrup begins to thicken put off theheat and allow the litchis to coolto room temperature. Store in anair-tight jar and keep in the fridge.Serve a few cherries with a fewteaspoons of the syrup withscoops of ice cream or a slice ofcheese cake or caramel puddingor even kheer.

MANGOPICKLE WITHJAGGERYINGREDIENTS:500 gm of raw green mango2 dried red chillies1 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds2 tsp of red chilli powder1 tsp of salt

Stewed fresh cherries

Mango pickle with jaggery

Jackfruit pickle

glass jars. Fasten the lid and keepin the sun for 4-5 days. Keep in acool dry place. This pickle staysgood for 4-5 months. Tastes goodwith plain rice.

MIXED PICKLEINGREDIENTS:100 gm carrots12-14 lemon100 gm of green chillies50 gm of ‘dera’ round smallgreen balls used in pickles200 gm of turnips – shalgamsalt to taste800 ml of mustard oil

For the spice powder:2 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds1/4 tsp of hing powder5 dried red chillies1 tsp of mustard seeds1 tsp of ajwain – carom seeds1 tsp of amchur powdersalt to taste

METHODDry-grind all the spices for the

spice powder. Keep aside in anairtight container till time of use.

Peel the turnips and cut intoquarters. Scrape the carrotslightly and cut into half-inchpieces. Make slit in the green

chillies. Cut the lime intoquarters. Heat 400 ml ofwater and add salt totaste. Add theshalgum pieces andsimmer in boil ingwater for 1 minute.Add the carrot piecesand the ‘dera’ andsimmer for a further 2minutes.

Put off the heat and passthe vegetables through a strainer.Dry under the fan or cover with amuslin cloth and keep in the sunfor all the moisture to evaporate.Heat 1 cup of mustard oil and addthe lemon pieces.

Add salt to taste and cover witha lid. Cook the lemon on very lowfire for only 2-3 minutes. Mix inthe spice powder and stir gentlyfor another 2 minutes. Put off theheat. Mix in the remainingvegetables and stir gently.

Allow the pickle to cool to roomtemperature and then place intoa glass bottle. Now heat theremaining oil till smoky. Cool toroom temperature and pour intothe glass bottle over the pickle. Ifthe aachar is covered with oil thechances of it spoiling are less.Add salt to taste and then closethe lid. Keep in the sun for 4-5days and consume it with anymeal. Stays good for as long as 5-6 months.

LOTUS STEMPICKLEINGREDIENTS:800 ml of mustard oil300 gm of lotus stem – bhey

For the spice powder:11/2 tsp of saunf - aniseed1/2 tsp of kala jeera – onionseeds2 tsp of red chilli powder

1/2 tsp of mustard seeds2 cloves

METHODDry-roast all the spices and

cool to room temperature. Dry-grind in a mixer to a coarsepowder.

Scrape the lotus stem gentlyand cut into quarter-inch thickpieces. Boil 300 ml of water andadd salt to taste. Put the lotusstem pieces into the boiling waterand allow to simmer for 2-3minutes. Put off the heat andpass the lotus stem through astrainer.

Dry under the fan or cover witha muslin cloth and keep in the sunfor all the moisture to evaporate.Heat 1 cup of mustard oil and addthe lotus stem pieces. Mix in thespice powder and stir gently foranother 2 minutes. Put off theheat.

Allow the pickle to cool to roomtemperature and then place intoa glass bottle. Now, heat theremaining oil till smoky. Cool toroom temperature and pour intothe glass bottle over the pickle. Ifthe aachar is covered with oil thechances of it spoiling are less.Add salt to taste and then closethe lid.

Keep in the sun for 4-5 daysand consume it with any meal.Stays good for as long as 5-6months.


Mixed pickle

Lotus stem pickle

BITTER GOURDSTUFFED PICKLEINGREDIENTS:12-14 small karela – bitter gourd300 ml of mustard oilsalt to taste

For the spice stuffing:1 tsp of aniseed1 tsp of carom seeds – ajwain1/2 tsp of kala jeera – onionseeds5-6 black pepper corns 1/4 tsp of mustard seeds50 gm piece of dried coconut –coprasalt to taste

METHODBreak the copra into small

pieces and together with the otherspices dry-roast in a pan till lightgolden in colour. Put off the heatand cool to room temperature.Dry-grind in a mixer to a coarsepowder.

Wash the karelas and make aslit into each of these and removeall the seeds. Soak the karelas insalted water for 1 hour and thendrain out all the water. Dry underthe fan or cover with a muslincloth and keep in the sun for allthe moisture to evaporate. Filleach of the karelas with theprepared spice powder.

Heat 1 cup of mustard oil andplace the karelas in these. Fryover medium heat turning once ortwice, and sprinkling a little moresalt on the karelas. Turn once ortwice and fry so that all the sidesof the karelas are light brown incolour. Place these stuffed friedkarelas in a glass jar. Now, heatthe remaining oil till smoky. Coolto room temperature and pour intothe glass bottle over the pickle.The pickle is ready forconsumption. Will stay good for aweek or two if it is covered withmustard oil. Turn it from time totime.

CHOLE PICKLE INGREDIENTS:

200 gm of kabuli chana600 ml of mustard oilsalt to tastespice powder3 dried red chillies1 tsp of amchur powder

1 tsp of jeera seeds1/4 tsp of hing powder

1/2 tsp of mustard seeds1/2 tsp of saunf – aniseed1 tsp of red chilli powder 2 cloves

METHODDry-roast all the ingredients for

the spice powder. Cool and grindcoarsely. Soak the chanas inwater overnight. In salted water,boil the chanas in a pressurecooker till only a little soft. Do notovercook.

The chanas should be hard totouch..Drain out all the water. Dryunder the fan or cover with amuslin cloth and keep in the sunfor all the moisture to evaporate.

Heat 1 cup of mustard oil andplace the boiled chanas in this.Fry over medium heat turningonce or twice, and sprinkling alittle more salt.

Turn once or twice and fry sothat all the sides of the chanasare light brown in colour. Mix inthe spice powder. Put off the heatand place these in a glass jar.Now, heat the remaining oil tillsmoky.

Cool to room temperature andpour into the glass bottle over thepickle.

The pickle is ready forconsumption. Will stay good for aweek or two if it is covered withmustard oil. Turn it from time totime. Serve with kulchas orbaturas.


Bitter gourd stuffed pickle

Chole pickle

We

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For ages, references to theAjanta-Ellora caves havebeen hyphenated. In fact, thehyphen between these twoWorld Heritage sites covers76 km. They have much incommon – and much morethat is different. The biggestsimilarity is that both setshave been hand-hewn out of

the volcanic basaltic formations of theSahyadri ranges of the Deccan trap –a Scandinavian-derived termreferring to the step-like formation ofthe volcanic deposits – and dated tothe Cretaceous era of the geologicaltime scale of some 65 million yearsago. One can actually glimpse thechannels near cave 32 through whichthe volcanic lava once flowed. Dueto overheating, these channels havea characteristic brownish-red colour.

ETERNAL ELLORAMonumental marvels carved into the Deccan.

By Rajib Sen

View of some Buddhist caves.

The basaltic formation of theDeccan is ideal for rock-hewing, thetechnique widely understood duringancient times. Depending upon thenature and mineralogical content ofthe lava flow, the rock formationsalso varied in character and texture,giving rise to various qualities likecoarse-grained and fine-grainedformations. The ancient builders atEllora particularly chose the fine-grained formations of the Deccantrap since it was ideal for theirpurpose. What’s more, they alsotraced the horizontal and verticaljoints in the rock formation tominimise their labour and time duringexcavation and rock splitting.

No less a similarity between thework at Ajanta and Ellora is the factthat the workers had nothing morethan rudimentary hammers andchisels to work with, and that theydelved into virgin hillsides from thetop down and from the outside, in.But there, the similarities end.

The biggest difference is thatthere are almost no paintings in theEllora caves. The second is the time-differential. While the 30-odd Ajantacaves date back to 2 BC, the 34Ellora caves were built between the

5th and 10th centuries when theChalukyas (553-753 AD) ruled theDeccan.

Besides, the ones at Ajanta were“lost” after the 7th century (till theirdiscovery in 1819), unlike those atEllora. That’s because, centuriesago, the site was situated on theancient north-south trade route or thedakshinapatha where the tinymountain village of Verul was a well-known stopover for traders, priestsand pilgrims who have plied the routeto the western ports till today. Littlewonder then that, even now, thecaves are locally known as Verul Leni– which was inevitably Anglicised toEllora.

However, in addition to thesculpture-friendliness if the basalticcharacter of the hillside, the ancientwayfarers’ familiarity with the regionof Verul influenced their decision tomake their presence there morelasting. That started with theexcavation of Buddhist chaityas orhalls of worship, and viharas ormonasteries. Soon, the area alsofound favour with missionaries ofother faiths, and over the next fivecenturies, Hindus and Jains alsocarved out their temples in the rocks

there. Thus, while the Ajanta workswere purely inspired by Buddhism, atEllora there are not only 12 Buddhistcaves (1-12), but also 17 of Hindu(caves 13-29) and five (30-34) of Jainorigin, built next to each other along aroughly straight, two-km stretch of flatland (unlike the hilly ravines ofAjanta), demonstrating the high levelof religious harmony prevalent at thetime.

Again, unlike the 105+km ride toAjanta from Aurangabad, Ellora isjust 28 km north of this districtheadquarters in the Marathwadaregion of Maharashtra.

The Buddhist caves: Createdbetween the fifth and seventhcenturies, these mostly consist ofmonasteries, some quite large, multi-storeyed buildings carved into themountain face, including separateliving and sleeping quarters, kitchensand other rooms.

Some of these monastery caveshave shrines including carvings of theBuddha, Bodhisatvas and saints. Inmany of these caves, the skilledsculptors had even tried to give thestone the look of wood as seen incave 10.


Graphic representation of the Ellora caves.

Cave 10, the best known of theBuddhist excavations at Ellora, is achaitya hall (chandrashala) orVishwakarma cave, popularly knownas the "Carpenter's Cave". That’sbecause, beyond its multi-storeyedentry is a cathedral-like stupa hallalso known as chaitya, whose ceilinghas been carved to give theimpression of wooden beams. At theheart of this cave is a 15 ft-highstatue of the Buddha seated in apreaching posture.

Amongst other Buddhist caves, allof the caves from 1 to 9 aremonasteries. The last two caves, dotal (cave 11) and tin tal (cave 12),have three storeys.

The Jain caves: The Jain caves,built somewhere around 800 AD to1000 AD, reveal specific dimensionsof Jain philosophy and tradition. Theyreflect a strict sense of asceticismand are not as large as the others.But they present exceptionallydetailed art works. The mostremarkable Jain shrines are theChhota Kailash (cave 30), the IndraSabha (cave 32) and the JagannathSabha (cave 33).

The Indra Sabha is a two-storeyedshrine with a very fine carving of thelotus flower on the ceiling. In anothercave, an imposing image of Ambikathe yakshi (dedicated attendant deity)of Neminatha is seated on her lion under a mango tree laden withfruits.

All other Jain caves are alsocharacterised by intricate detailing.Many of the structures had richpaintings on the ceilings – fragmentsof which are still visible.

The Hindu caves: The Hinducaves were constructed between 500and 1000 AD and represent adifferent style of creative vision andexecution skills. Some were of suchcomplexity that they required severalgenerations of planning andcoordination to complete.

The early caves (17-29) wereconstructed during the Kalachuriperiod, while the caves 15 and 16were constructed during theRashtrakuta period.

Two of the most noteworthy cavesare the Dashavatara (cave 15), whichdepicts the 10 avatars of Vishnu, andthe Ramesvara (21) which hasfigurines of river goddesses Gangaand Yamuna at the entrance, and theDhumar Lena (cave 29). On the backwall of the front mandapa of theDashavatara is an inscription of agrant of Dantidurga. Two othercaves, the Ravan ki Khai (14) and theNilkantha (22), also have severalsculptures.

But the one that is beyondcompare – and, indeed,comprehension till it is actually visited– is the stupendous Kailasha, ofwhich more in the next issue.

(To be continued)


THE JAIN CAVES,BUILT SOMEWHERE

AROUND 800 ADTO 1000 AD,

REVEAL SPECIFICDIMENSIONS OF

JAIN PHILOSOPHYAND TRADITION.THEY REFLECT A

STRICT SENSE OFASCETICISM AND

ARE NOT ASLARGE AS THE

OTHERS. BUT THEYPRESENT

EXCEPTIONALLYDETAILED ART

WORKS.

Close-ups of some Buddhist caves.

During rainy season oneshould be aware of theformation of mould in one’shome. Mould is the surfacegrowth of fungus on dampmatter. The knowledge anddetermination for its removalwill benefit your and yourfamily’s health, besidesgiving an earthy and humid

smell. Exposure to mould can causecold-like symptoms, respiratoryproblems at times leading to asthma,nasal and sinus congestion, wateryeyes, sore throats, coughing and skinirritations. Hence, it is not safe fromthe health point of view to live inhouses with high mould levels. Wemust therefore take urgent steps toeradicate mouldy conditions from ourhousehold premises.

The appearance of excessivemoisture can give way to mouldgrowth in our household premisesespecially during the rainy spell.Moisture seeping through walls and

floors is likely tocause this dampmalady on walls andcarpeted area in thehouse. It must beremembered thatmould conditionsmostly occur undercabinets and insidewalls. Also, there is alikelihood that mould mightbe growing unnoticed behindpieces of furniture, especially placednext to an outside wall.

PREVENT MOULDGROWTH

Since mould grows on moistmaterials, its growth is likely in areasmade soggy by water leaks, flooding,humidity levels above about 70 percent and condensation. Any water-logged area that was not completelydrained out and dried quickly is likelyto have mould.

Walls need to be scrubbed andrapidly dried to prevent mould. Anyarea that is stained from water shouldbe examined for mould problem.Peeling paint may be an indication ofwet walls.

For the sake of maintaining ahealthy environment in our homes,we must take steps to remove themould as a top priority. While doingso, we must put on eye-protection,

rubber gloves and clothingwhile on the cleaning job.

Mould can be removedfrom hard surfacessuch as plastic,glass, metal andcounter tops byscrubbing with adetergent. Some -times, it may not be

possible to completelyremove mould from

porous surfaces such aspaper and carpet padding,

in which case such items shouldbe discarded.

After removal of the mould, thearea should be disinfected using ableach and water solution or anotherdisinfectant. We must provide ade -quate ventilation during disinfecting.Use fans and dehumidifiers or naturalventilation that exchange inside airwith outside air. It may not bepossible to eliminate all moulds andmould spores in the indoorenvironment. However, mould growthcan be kept under check bycontrolling moisture indoors.


MONSOON NECESSITATES

REMOVAL OF MOULDFROM HOMES

Know the damage mould can do during therainy season. By NK Pant

We

The lift most dutifully upliftsyour body and in thatrhythmic movement andacceleration, the soul followssimultaneously. Don’t youfeel that ‘lift’ be renamed as‘shift’ in consonance with itsexact function? When thearchitects designedmultistory buildings for the

first time, they must have had in theirmind the limited scope of humanenergy levels to reach higher floors ofthe buildings which, of course, wereprovided with suitable staircases. Sothe idea of having a lift in the housecame into being as an alternative tothe staircase for convenience andcomfort.

But the nomenclature ‘lift’ given tosuch a new technological devicedoes not seem to be appropriate.Why the name ‘lift’? Lift literallymeans to carry people or goods

upward or to higher levels. In otherwords, there will be only anascending order and no descendingorder whatsoever. Yet we see that alift moves both upwards anddownward. In my humble opinion Ifeel that ‘lift’ should be renamed as‘shift’ which involves movements bothup and down, which appears to bemore appropriate.

Since its original design it hasseen various technological develop -ments in its manufacturing andalterations in design and perfor -mance. In modern times high-risebuildings – mostly commercialcomplexes and government offices –have more than 20 floors. In suchbuildings separate lifts are providedfloorwise – i.e., one lift up to the 3rdor 4th floor, a second lift up to the10th floor, a third lift up to the 20thfloor and so on. In such buildings‘dependence on a lift is a fait

accompliced. However strong andhealthy a man might be he or shecan’t venture to climb even up to the10th floor by the staircase. Therehave been many cases of peoplecollapsing on the stairs whenreaching the 7th or 8th floor unawareof the real strength of their hearts.The author of this article faced such aterrible situation while climbing thebuilding of The Hindustan Times andwas about to collapse when nearingthe 8th floor. Many times suchsituations result in fatality.

The British provided liftsextensively in almost all theirimposing buildings. In fact, theconcept of lift was invented duringthe industrial revolution and readilyaccepted universally by architectsand building contractors and becamethe hallmark of the British era.

Prior to it – i.e. in the Hindu andMuslim rule – no lift or any similar


A LIFT IN THE HOUSEA LIFT IN THE HOUSEHow about renaming the device “shift”? By K. M. Sharma

device was ever used in any high-rise building. Even high-rise buildingslike the Kutub Minar, BulundDarwaza, or Vijay Isthamb of Chittorand other such buildings wereprovided with straight and spiralstaircases and it was a faitaccompliced to use staircases for thepeople visiting such buildingscomprising more than 100 steps.

Lifts are of various sizes whichdiffer as per the requirements in eachparticular case. The lifts in hospitalsare sufficiently spacious to carry bigtrollies with lots of goods and visitorsand the stretchers to carry operatedand sick patients. Similarly, in high-rise buildings where there are a hugeconglomeration of various offices,government as well as corporate, thelifts are as big as a small room.

But the maintenance of such liftsis a big problem and seldom takenup seriously. In MCD lifts one has tothink twice to enter and you can seethe “Lift out of order” board up quiteoften. Still, Otis lifts are famous fortheir immaculate performance.

Breakdowns: This new technolo -gical development is proving a boonto mankind the world over. But, whena lift is stuck, the scene becomesmost troublesome for the users and,if it is summer and the electricity is offand the lift is full of people, itbecomes most traumatic. Thisnightmare shakes the confidence ofthe users and frightens them into notusing lifts as far as possible. Theimpact of such a terrible situation onsome individuals is so grave that theyusually develop a disease calledclaustrophobia.

I was also involved in such aterrible situations when the lift gotstuck and, on one occasion, I was allalone in the lift and did not knowmuch about handling the emergencysituation. These incidents dampenedmy spirits to such an extent that Iused to become horrified at theglimpse of a lift and would like totramp up the staircase.

When the lift suffers a breakdown,its repairs are equally dangerous andlife-threatening.

As regards the safety measures in

the lift, the following features shouldbe worked at:

● More persons than the allottedcapacity should not be allowedinside.

● As an alternative system topower failure, a battery-operatedsystem should be provided in the lift.

● Some standby measuresshould be readily available in anemergency like a rope, motor etc.

Case I: The lift in a multi-storeybuilding suffered a breakdown and itwas stuck in the shaft between thefloors. The lift mechanic managed toclimb the roof of the lift in the shaftand started checking the problem. Inthe meantime, the lift started movingup with speed and the mechanic gotcrushed between the roof of lift andthe ceiling the shaft. It was really avery horrifying death.

Case II: The lift got stuck in theshaft between the floors and themechanic had to get into the lowervacant portion of the shaft fornecessary repairs. The lift was up theshaft. As the mechanic started takingcorrective measures the lift suddenlystarted moving down where themechanic was working. The lift camedown with a thud, crushing themechanic’s body totally flat. Deathwas inescapable and instantaneous.

Case III: Two or three personswere coming down in a lift. Somehowthe lift got stuck and stopped nearthe exit gate. By pressing this andthat button as a trial and error theymanaged to bring the lift to the exitopening. Still the door did not openautomatically. They tried to forceopen the door.

As the door opened a little, oneman tried to rush out through thecramped opening and, in themeantime, his leg got caught in thedoor which closed abruptly and thelift started moving down, therebytearing the body and the fellow died amiserable death, and nobody couldextend any sort of assistance tosnatch him from the jaws of death.TV channels did telecast this horriblescene in all their news bulletins.


THEY ASSERT THATUP TO THE 4TH

FLOOR PEOPLE MUSTUSE THE STAIRCASEAS CLIMBING THESTAIRS PROVIDESA GOOD AND

ESSENTIAL EXERCISETO THE LEGS ANDKNEE JOINTS. THIS

EXERCISE OFCLIMBING THE

STAIRCASE PROVIDESFULL PROTECTION

FROM THEONSLAUGHT OFPAINFUL BONEDISEASES LIKE

OSTEOPOROSISAND ARTHRITIS.

Death due to suffocation in liftdue to breakdown has also beenreported several times. Theseare not mere stories but twoincidents that have actually beenwitnessed in dismay by me.

A software engineer living ina group housing society hadpushed the button of the lift onthe VI floor only to realise therewas no electricity supply. Hestarted climbing the staircase butwhen he reached the 3rd floorthe electricity supply resumedand the lift door at 3rd flooropened. He stepped insideassuming the lift to be there buthe fell through the shaft. The liftwas there but on some other floor.He plunged from the fourth floor tohis death.

Accidents in lifts are usually takingplace though with limited frequency.All investigations in lift accidentsinviable lead to a conclusion is thatthe lift was not fitted with theadditional features. Automatic safetydevice which is primarily the duty ofthe owner of the buildings to ask for it& next is the poor maintenance.Result Nishant Sharma (27) who wasto reach his office at 10th floor gotstuck up in his lift due to lower failure.On a hurry the occupants slid openthe lift door as the wanted to reachoffice in time. But while Nishant triedto come out the life got reactivaliedand doors were shut. His head wascaught in between the doors. As thelift moved upward, his head hit theconcrete frame and his bodyremained in the lift until the liftautomatically stopped. He sustainedserious head injuries resulting inextensive blood clotting whichhindered blood and oxygen supply inhis brain. According to Dr’s attendingon him the ICU of Antemies Hospitalhis chances of survival were black.This accident was a clear case ofnegligence on the part of DLF whoowns the building Investigations areon.

Pleasurable moments: But it isnot that every time a lift happens tobe a harbinger of death anddestruction. On the contrary, it

provides pleasurable moments aswell. Lovers when alone in the lift, geta good opportunity for embracing andkissing. Those who work in officesand who don’t get any privacy forlovemaking, immediately jump intothe lift and release their pent-upemotions. This happens very muchin multi-storey group housingsocieties as well.

Lifts are usually closed andprovide a complete privacy andstimulating opportunity and loversutilise this situation to the maximum.Lifts going up and down with arhythm resonate the vibes of loveseekers. In it there is nobody’s lossbut the lovebird’s clamour is suitablyrewarded. But this relief is notavailable in the transparent lifts usedin the outer portions of buildings. Suchlifts are mostly in use in malls andother big industrial establishments.

Lift operators: In most of the liftsin bigger establishments, a liftoperator is invariably provided tooperate the lift as he is specificallytrained for this purpose. It is seenthat many people suffer from liftphobia and will not use a lift whenthey are alone. So to such people areextended help by a lift operator.

But the life of a lift operator ingeneral is very humdrum, dull andmonotonous. The poor fellow has tosit on a stool or clumsy chairthroughout the day ferrying differenttypes of people up and down. Theoperators suffer from the monotony

syndrome. Sometimes, their feetget swollen. The wholepersonality of lift operators turnsthat of into introverts.

Their relaxation optionsremain restricted to listening tomusic, reading a book orthoroughly and repeatedlyreading the newspaper. But forhow long and how much? Mentalfatigue usually creeps in. But stillmany people are engaged in thisemployment braving the odds.

Medical advice: Except forthe people living in high-risebuildings, doctors seldom advisepeople to use lifts. They assert

that up to the 4th floor people mustuse the staircase as climbing thestairs provides a good and essentialexercise to the legs and knee joints.This exercise of climbing thestaircase provides full protection fromthe onslaught of painful bonediseases like osteoporosis andarthritis. People up to 45 years mustinvariably use the staircase up to the4th floor. It will provide the requiredstrength to their legs and thighmuscles.

Aged people and persons withweak hearts, of course, should avoidusing a staircase as it may createserious uncontrollable palpitation ofthe hearts leading to cardiac arrestor heart attack. My office was at the4th floor and I never used the lift toreach my chamber and always usedthe staircase with no inconvenienceat all. My action and style kept othersin good humour.

Legal position: An aggrievedcitizen or an NGO or a society canfile a criminal case against the liftcompany and also the builders anddevelopers and the owner of thebuilding in case of death or graveinjury or else a case of negligencecan be filed in accordance with theprovisions of consumer act and othercivil act and seek damages fordeficiency of service and using-sub-standard material in the lift.

Information can also be sought byinvoking the provisions of the right toInformation Act.


We

Reacting to racial attacks on Indianstudents in Australia, Amitabh

Bachchan did the minimal right thingin turning down the honour theQueensland University wanted toconfer on him.

It is gratifying that just 12 monthsafter Reliance Big Entertainment

announced its Hollywood foray at theCannes Festival last year, at least 20

BOOMMBBAAYY FFIILLMMDDOOM

B O M B A Y F I L M D O M

The great news is that the twomonth long stand-off between the

owners of multiplexes and the UnitedProducers and Distributors’ Forum(UPDF) has come to an end.Although the agreement is somewhatmore in favour of the Forum, theimportant thing is that the show bizwill go on, as it should.

After a few Hollywood starsshooting for Hindi films in

Bollywood, now two Hollywood stars— Amalia and Stephen have goneright upto Ludhiana (Punjab) and itsneighbouring villages to shoot for‘Heartland’.

Yet another proof that Bollywoodis catching the fancy of foreign

artists after shooting for an itemnumber with Akshay Kumar for Blue.Australian singer Kylie Minaque nowalso wants to act in Hindi films. Isn’tthat great?

projects are in various stages ofscript writing.

Emraan Hashmi (of Raaz — Themystery continues fame) is a

believer in doing different kind of roleto grow as an actor. He is also doingan action thriller: Once Upon A Timein Mumbai, a Gangsters’ story basedin Mumbai in the 1980s.

Bombay Filmdom can well beproud that the film Zor Lagga Ke

Haiya revolving around environmentand its protection produced by theTalrejas and directed by Girish GirijaJoshi has reaped a rich harvest ofinternational awards at various worldfilm festivals.

Dilating on her role in Paying Guests,Riya Sen says she plays Arpita, an

oversensitive and melodramatic girlwho’s quick to cry even if her boyfriend issomewhat late in arriving to meet her.

Akshay Kumar in ‘Blue’.

Amitabh - did the right thing.

Riya Sen plays the role of an oversensitive girl in ‘Paying Guests’.

Emraan Hashmi loves different roles.

Is Riya Senwearing cross

around herneck?

Reacting to racial attacks on Indianstudents in Australia, Amitabh

Bachchan did the minimal right thingin turning down the honour theQueensland University wanted toconfer on him.

Films vying with one another forearliest release include Kambakht

Ishq (starring Akshay Kumar and twoHollywood stars, Paying Guestsproduced by Subhash Ghai andEmraan Hashmi’s Raftaar and TumMile.

Ghai’s film Paying Guests is a funfilm revolving around a host of

actors and their sweet and sourexperiences as PGs (short form ofPaying Guests) in big cities. CelinaJaitley who has stayed as PG at 8places in Kolkata describes herexperiences as a mix of absurd tosweet.

Aamir Khan (whose aversion forawards is well known) and

Rekha received the Raj KapoorPratibha Puraskar Awards at the 46thMarathi Chitrapat State Awards at theShivaji Stadium in Pune. Anyparticular reason for this exception,Aamir?

Danny Boyle (yes, of SlumdogMillionaire fame) was again in

Mumbai recently to settle the housingissue for the film’s child stars. Healso attended a party at a 5-starhotel. A couple of children may get aroof over their head.

Turning up of quite a few playbacksingers to greet Lata Didi when

poet lyricist Javed Akhtar unveiledLata Mangeskar in her own voicewritten by Nasreen Munni Kabir washardly a surprise. The reason? Latais only one of the few living legends.

Some people have all the luck inthe world. Like film-maker

Aashwin Kumar, for instance hisdebut feature film The Forest waspremiered at Cannes. How manyfilm-makers can claim such adistinction?

Aamir Khan.

Celina Jaitly in‘Paying Guests’.

Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire fame.

children gives her another sign ofpeace. Good.

If Danny has given a convincingportrayal in Frozen (Hindi), there is

hardly any surprise, for, he has givensimilar performances in umpteenfilms in the last more than twodecades. In fact, Danny wanted to bea singer, but destiny had other plansfor him to make a niche of his own asan actor.

If Shruti Hassan (who is going togive music for Kamal Hassan’s re-

make of A wednesday) is reportedlyloaded with talent, we should betterbelieve it, for, she’s the daughter ofKamal Hassan, of Chachi 420 and EkDuje Ke Liye fame. And she’s prettytoo.

If Chandrachood Singh is making acomeback with Maruti Mera Dost,

he is indeed welcome, for he is adamn good-looking young man. Wewish him better luck this time.

Raj Kapoor was not called theoriginal showman for nothing.

Good sense of music was his forte.No wonder, all his films had greatmusic and made most of his films —Barsaat, Awara, Sangam and Bobbysuper duper hits. He did BombayFilmdom proud.

– Deepak Puri.

With some people duty comesfirst, as it should Sharmila

Tagore, a jury member at this year’sCannes Film Festival liked thegorgeous’ Brad Pitt but refrained frommeeting him. So what if Sharmila is62, she too has a heart.

Celina Jaitly may not have hit thebig leage yet, but she is not

wanting in dedication. Example?Hardly had she finished shooting forAccident on Hill Road at 5 a.m. whoshe was called by Subhash Ghai tobe with other artistes of PayingGuests at 6 a.m. And she made it.

Slumdog Millionaire star FreidaPinto overtook Sonam Kapoor in

being the latest celebrity from India to join the line up of cosmeticgiant L’oreal, Paris. Congrats, MissPinto.

The hit pair of Jodha Akbar andDoom 2 Aishwarya Rai and

Hrithik Roshan is all set to worktogether again in Sanjay LeelaBhansali’s next film Guzarish, the filmwith which Sanjay Leela Bhansali isturning a music director too! Wow.

All that glitters is not gold wasproved once again after Karan

Johar’s Dharma Productions wasslapped with a US $ 150,000 law suitin Philadelphia after it reportedlyfailed to pay the local workers andactors hired for its thriller JihaadRight, Mr Johar?

Film folks who don’t get sufficientinner peace in films, get it

elsewhere. Like Divya Dutta recentlyvisited the Bhram Kumari Centre,Mumbai, to find inner peace and thetruth of life. Working for street

SharmilaTagore

looking cuteat 62.

Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai - a hit pair.

Freida Pinto of Slumdog Millionaire isnow celebrity.

Divya Dutta is searching for inner peace.

You have gone through ninemonths of pregnancy andthe trauma of childbirth forthe first time. How did youfeel during it all? It iscommon for women to feelexcited, curious, apprehen -sive, worried and evenafraid during pregnancy.They remain involved with

themselves and what is happening intheir bodies. They are looked afterlovingly by their husbands, parents,in-laws and even neighbours andfriends.

As their delivery dates near, theirexcitement and apprehension grow.What will happen? Will they give birthto a son or a daughter? Will the pain


MOTHER-LOVEWHEN DOES IT

FIRST STRIKE?But…what do you feel? According

to Indian films and romantic books,the new mother at once feelsoverwhelmed by love for the mite shehad just brought into the world. Sheis changed for ever and the babybecomes the centre of her life. Sheloses her own identity as she takeson the mantle of a mother. But is thishow it actually happens? Let’s asksome women about how and whenthey were filled with mother-love!

A GRADUALDEVELOPMENT

“It happened very slowly for me!”confessed Kavya with a laugh. “Ididn’t feel love overwhelm me thefirst time I set eyes on my son!”

Kavya had an eventlesspregnancy and gave birth normallyand fairly easily. “I never feltnauseous and didn’t put on too muchweight,” she told me. “In fact, when Itold a friend that I was expectingwhen I was five months pregnant,she didn’t believe me because mystomach was absolutely flat!”

Kavya had gone to stay at hermother’s place – which was in thesame metropolis as her sasural –when she was about eight monthspregnant, she continued to work tilltwo days before giving birth. “I’d havegone to work the next day too, but Ibegan spotting and the doctor toldme to stay in bed,” she says a trifleboastfully!

This young 25-year-old was inlabour for only an hour and then herson popped out, weighing a healthy31/2 kilos! “The pain stopped somiraculously!” she remembers with a

Three womendivulge when theyfirst experiencedmother-love andwhen they first

realised that theirbond with their babywas stronger, morewonderful and moreenduring than anyother in their lives!An eye-opener for

all women. By Kasturi Rangachari

be unbearable? Childbirth issupposed to be a rebirth – will theysurvive it?

Labour starts, reaches acrescendo and the baby is born. It’s aboy! It’s a girl! Everyone waitinganxiously, explodes with joy! Youhave become a mother!

smile. “And everyone congratulatedme and I felt so good! It was as if Ihad completed a task I had beengiven, well and efficiently. I felt as Idid when my boss patted me on theback for successfully completing aproject! “The doctor held up my sonand showed him to me and I smiled,but I was more interested in closingmy eyes and letting go – going tosleep even as the nurses worked onme and cleaned me up!”

The feeling of well-beingcontinued over the next few dayswhile Kavya stayed in the upmarketnursing home where she had givenbirth to her baby. The baby was keptin the nursery and brought to Kavyaonly at feed times, so that she couldrest and recuperate after the traumaof childbirth.

“Feeding my baby…was…astrange experience! A bit of anordeal, actually, because I didn’tknow how to go about it!” recallsKavya with a laugh. “I felt…oh, I don’tknow! Strange?”

But the strangeness disappearedwhen hubby Dhanush and othermembers of the family andfriends came during visitinghours. All of them oohedand aahed over the babyand Kavya again felt filledwith achievement andpride.

“But, you know, I hardlyfelt that the baby wasmine!” Kavya confessedthoughtfully. “I hardlythought of him after he wastaken away to the nursery.I thought more about theproblems of feeding himthan of him!

“But I suddenly feltterribly worried when thedoctor told my mother that we couldgo home the next day. This wasbecause it suddenly struck me thatfrom the next day I would beexpected to take care of that littlemite! Of course, my mother would bethere to help me but I was planning togo back home to my husband and in-laws in about a month! I couldn’t bedependent on my mother-in-lawthere!

“I at once got out of bed and toldthe nurses that I wanted to learn howto look after the baby and theyobligingly taught me how to bathe,soothe and change the baby; how tobundle him up and how to put him tosleep.

“From the day I went home, Ibegan to do everything for the baby. Ibegan to feel this tremendous senseof responsibility for the little mite. Thiswas because of something my doctortold me before I went home.‘Remember, Kavya,’ she said,‘everything that happens to this babywill be because of you. If he’s healthyand happy, it’ll be because of you, ifhe falls ill, doesn’t sleep at night, iscranky or if he doesn’t have a goodappetite, it’ll be because of you! Youare totally responsible for him!’

“Yes, I felt responsible for my sonwhom we named Shresht, but …love… mother-love? I don’t think I feltit then!”

The weeks passed and the dayKavya was to go back to her maritalhome arrived. Her in-laws came inthe evening to take her and their

grandson home. She waspacked and ready andbaby Shresht wassleeping in the bedroom.As Kavya’s parents andher in-laws laughed andchatted in the drawingroom, she went into thekitchen to make tea.

Suddenly she heard awhimper. Shresht had

got up, she realised, and she waitedfor someone to go and pick him up.The whimper was repeated and sheturned off the gas and went throughthe drawing room towards thebedroom where the baby lay.

“What’s the matter?” asked hermother-in-law.

“Where are you going?” asked hermother.

“To pick up Shresht,” she replied.“Let him sleep,” said her father.

“Don’t disturb him.”“He has got up,” Kavya replied. “I

heard him cry.”“None of us heard him,” said her

mother-in-law blankly. “I heard him,” Kavya replied. As she walked towards the door

she heard her father-in-law saysolemnly, “That’s mother-love foryou. A mother instinctively hears herchild even when others don’t!”

“That was the moment when Ireally felt like a mother! The momentwhen I was flooded with love for mybaby,” Kavya finished softly.

MOTIVATED BYREMORSE

“I was a self-centred, spoilt brat!”admitted Aparna when I asked herabout her experience of becoming amother. “My parents, especially mymother, always pampered me – I aman only child – and they continued todo so after I got married and during


“That wasthe momentwhen I really

felt like amother! The

momentwhen I wasflooded withlove for my

baby,” Kavyafinishedsoftly.

my pregnancy. I don’t think that Igave my baby a thought. It was allabout I, me, myself! Why, I came tomy mother’s place for my deliverywhen I was only in the fourth monthof my pregnancy – so that I could beindulged, coddled and cosseted! ”

Aunts, uncles and her in-laws,frowned and tut-tutted disapprovingly,but Aparna’s besotted parentscontinued to spoil and mollycoddletheir darling daughter. “I am lazy andso I didn’t want to go for the walksthe doctor said I should go for andmy parents didn’t force me to,”reminisced Aparna. “I hate greensand most vegetables, so they didn’tmake me eat them. I dislike milk, sothey didn’t insist that I drink it! I justsat around watching TV and gorgingon oily snacks and they watched mewith a smile! I don’t thinkthat they saw past me!

”My husband Nikhil didtry to talk to me about myresponsibilities towardsthe child I was going tobring into the world, but Ijust pouted and told himnot to be a bore!”

Aparna went into labournearly three weeks earlyand her parents rushedher to the nursing home.Labour was prolonged andbad. “I hadn’t imaginedthat it would be so painful!Even now when I think ofit...” she leaves hersentence incomplete andshudders at the recollection of thosehours. “My parents couldn’t bear tohear my cries and begged the doctorto do a Caesarean. The doctor at firsttold them that it wasn’t necessaryand that I would have a normaldelivery if only I would cooperate alittle, but later, when I just wouldn’tbear down and kept screaming, andmy parents kept begging, she gave inand did one, after giving meanaesthesia.”

Aparna’s baby – a girl – was bornvery under-weight and weak. “That’sbecause Aparna didn’t eat properlyand take exercises as she shouldhave during her pregnancy,” thedoctor told her parents sternly, but

they were just relieved that theirdarling daughter had come throughthe ordeal safely. As for the baby,well, they would look after her andshe would pick up!

But things didn’t work out thateasy. Aparna and the baby wenthome four days after the infant hadbeen born, but within a day, Aparna’smother suspected that the baby hadjaundice and took her to the doctor.Tests were conducted and jaundicewas confirmed. The doctor at oncehad the baby admitted to theneonatal ICU.

“Aparna must come and stay in aroom in the nursing home so that shecan feed the baby,” the doctor said.

“But, I was reluctant to go to thenursing home,” Aparna revealed.“Though I had enough milk, I found

nursing painful becauseof the discomfort of allthose Caesarean stitches!So I asked my mother if Ireally had to go and feedthe baby. Couldn’t she begiven a bottle?

“For the first time in mylife my mother glared atme! ‘No, she can’t begiven a bottle! Get up andcome with me!’ shegroaned out throughclenched teeth.

“I actually felt a little ashamed ofmyself and got up and quietly wentwith my mother and father to thenursing home. My in-laws and myhusband were already there. Theywere all staring through a glass intothe neonatal ICU. My mother-in-lawwas silently weeping and Nikhil hadclenched his jaws as if he were tryingto prevent his tears from escaping.

“I too went and stood by the glassand stared through it. A tiny infantwearing just a minuscule nappy layasleep on a sheet of some kind ofglass. The infant was blindfolded andher hands were lightly tied to postson either side of the bed. An IVneedle was taped into the back of theinfant’s tiny hand. A series offluorescent lights were placed bothabove, below and to the sides of thebaby. And that baby was mine!

“My father-in-law saw me andturned and hugged me. ‘She’ll be allright,’ he muttered. I gazed at mybaby, at the needle running into thehand that was like a doll’s hand andfelt…strange…

“Nikhil turned to me. ‘Let’s go andtalk to the doctor,’ he said quietly. Hedidn’t ask me how I was and,surprisingly, I did not mind.

“The doctor was still angry withme. She ignored me and addressedonly Nikhil. She told him that manynewborn babies develop jaundiceand that their skin then looks yellow.This happens within days of the birth,but the yellow tinge is usually slightand it disappears within a few days.No treatment is then needed.

“The jaundice with its yellow tingeis caused by excess bilirubin in thebaby’s skin,” she explained. “Smallamounts of bilirubin are found ineveryone’s blood. It is released intothe bloodstream when too much of itis produced and it is then stored intissues. The bilirubin is carried by thebloodstream to the liver where it iseventually excreted from the body.

“Bilirubin is produced andreleased into the bloodstream whenred blood cells are broken down.Newborn babies have a high numberof red blood cells so a lot of bilirubinis produced and this then enters thebloodstream. Since a newborn baby’s


Aparna’sbaby – a girl– was bornvery under-weight and

weak. “That’sbecause

Aparna didn’teat properly

and takeexercises asshe should

have.

liver is immature, it cannot processthe bilirubin quickly and so it remainsin the bloodstream. It is thendeposited in tissues and the skin ofthe baby becomes yellow.

“We don’t worry if the baby is afull-term baby and the levels ofbilirubin peak at five to 12 mg/dLwithin a few days of birth and thenstart to fall,” the doctor told Nikhil.“But your baby is slightly pre-bornand is definitely underweight. Herbilirubin level is 15 and it hasn’tstarted to fall even though she is fivedays old. In fact, I suspect that it isgoing to rise farther.”

Aparna heard Nikhil swallownervously. “Is the baby in any danger,doctor?” he asked.

“No. None of the other factors thatcan lead to complications seem to bepresent. But your baby is weak andthis will weaken her further.”

“What treatment is she receiving,doctor?” it was again Nikhil whospoke. Aparna couldn’t speak. Adeep sense of guilt had filled her. Itwas her selfishness and immaturestupidity that had led to her daughterbeing born weak and underweight!

“We have already placed bilirubinreduction lights over and below thebaby and to her sides,” the doctorexplained. “This light will help thebaby get rid of the bilirubin that is justunder the surface of the skin. Wehave placed a mask over the baby’seyes to prevent exposure to thebright light and are giving the babyan intravenous drip to ensurenourishment and also to preventdehydration.”

“I continued to be silent even afterwe went back to our vigil outside theneonatal ICU,” remembered Aparnain a brooding voice. “My stitchestroubled me but for once I didn’tcomplain or demand attention.Everyone there had almost forgottenme and no one fussed over me –and, for perhaps the first time in mylife, it didn’t upset me. I was calledin twice to feed the baby and it wasonly after that that a nurse came andtold my mother that I should be takento the room that had been booked forme so that I could rest. When thebaby needed to be fed, they would

send for me, she told us. “My mother blinked and looked at

me. I understood that she had reallyforgotten about me and that she hadbeen totally occupied with gazing ather granddaughter and worryingabout her. But I didn’t mind at all.

“That day, in spite of the bilirubinreduction lights, my daughter’s countwent up to 22. The doctor thendecided that she had to be given ablood transfusion. I could not stay inmy room and rest. I repeatedly gotup and somehow managed to walkto the lift and go down to the neonatalICU. There I would join the rest of thefamily in their vigil. After some time,someone would notice me and insistthat I go back to my room. And aftersome time I would come downagain!”

Aparna gazed into the distance asshe told me all this. She was lost inher memories of that agonising day.“The doctors and the nurses drewback the curtains of the window aswe watched the baby through whenthey started the blood transfusion,but later they drew them and wecould not see her. She lay absolutelystill. Was she asleep or unconscious,I wondered. The transfusion wasbeing given through her navel, wherethe umbilical cord had just been cut afew days earlier. I suddenlyremembered that I hadn’t been calledto feed her for quite some time.

“I began to tremble. My baby mustbe in such pain and I couldn’t evenhold her and console her! And all herpain was because of me; because Ihadn’t taken care of her when shehad been in my womb! I bit my lipsbut I could not keep down my sobs.

They burst out of my mouth and Ibegan to wail!

“It was at that moment that Iunderstood what being a mother wasall about. At that moment I felt awave of love so intense that it left medazed, sweep into my heart!”

Aparna’s baby recovered and istoday, at the age of eight months, aroly-poly, active, smiling and gurglingbundle of mischief. “She’s my life!”says Aparna, but she adds moresoberly, “But I won’t let myself doteon her to such an extent that I do hermore harm than good!”

SOMEONE ELSE’STRAUMA

“I lost my husband in an accidentjust three weeks after we gotmarried,” said Tej softly. “I was just19 then and about a month and a halflater, the doctor told me that I waspregnant.”

Tej’s story is a strong argumentagainst astrology. When her parentshad set about trying to find a groomfor their only daughter, they hadinsisted on the matching ofhoroscopes. Several potentialbridegrooms were rejected becausetheir family astrologer told them thatthe boy’s horoscope didn’t matchtheir daughter’s. When he finally toldthem that Ved Prakash’s horoscopewas ideal for Tej, they had happilygone ahead and splurged heavily ontheir daughter’s wedding. Thentragedy struck.

Tej gave a twisted smile. “I initiallythought that my period waspostponed because of the trauma Ihad undergone, but mygrandmother’s experienced eyenoticed something different about meand she told my mother to take me tothe doctor. The doctor told me that Iwas pregnant and I understood hiswords. But I had no nausea and Ididn’t feel pregnant.”

Tej’s parents and two elderbrothers had brought Tej home afterVed Prakash’s funeral rites had beencompleted and the news of thepregnancy caused greatconsternation. “My family had alreadybegun to whisper amongst


themselves that I should haveanother chance for happiness… that Ishould remarry…and the news that Iwas pregnant was a bombshell!

“Both my elder brothers wantedme to have an abortion…but…mygrandmother wouldn’t hear of it. Vedhad been the only son of his parentsand she said that it would be a sin towipe out his family by killing his child.Finally, after a lot of discussioneveryone agreed that she was right.No one asked me what I wanted andeven if they had, I don’t think that Iwould have known what to say. I wasnumb, totally numb. My brain...myheart…were both numb.”

Tej hardly remembers how shegot through her pregnancy. Herbrothers insisted that she continuewith her education. She had leftcollege after her second year to getmarried and her brothers decidedthat she should finish her graduationprivately. Passively she agreed andtook out her books and began tostudy again.

Tej’s pregnancy continuednormally and eight monthsafter the death of herhusband, she gave birth toa baby girl.

“I was weak and hardlyhad any milk and the babywas put on baby foodwithin days of birth,”recalls Tej. “And…mysisters-in-law took over hercare. They looked after hercompletely and even kepther during the night. Ididn’t try to feed her, batheher, put her to sleep – didnothing for her! I didn’teven take an interest inchoosing her name. It was my motherwho named her Jalaja.”

Tej’s sisters-in-law had twochildren each and were experiencedcare-givers, while Tej was stilllistless, lost and grief-stricken. “Ididn’t feel like a mother at all,” sheadmits. “And that’s the way my familywanted it. They had not dropped theirplan to get me remarried.”

Tej graduated and then joinedregular college to do herpostgraduation. Her family

encouraged her to make friends andto take part in college activities andTej began to take part in debates andto be an active member of thecollege’s social service club.

By this time Jalaja was two yearsold. A cute, smiling and active child,she was doted on by the wholefamily. “I loved her too – as much as Iloved my niece and three nephews,”says Tej.

Tej’s brothers began to seriouslytalk about her remarriage and startedto look for a suitable bridegroom.“We’ve decided to put an ad in thepapers,” Tej heard her eldest brothertell her parents. “It’ll say that Tej is awidow with a child, but will make itclear that the child is not herresponsibility.”

“Yes,” chimed in her other brother.“It’ll say that she is a widow with onechild, but with no liabilities.”

So Jalaja was a liability, but nother liability! Tej turned and walkedaway. The tsunami which shockedthe world and devastated manycountries, struck a few weeks later.

As news poured in ofmany villages and coastalareas in Andhra Pradeshand Tamil Nadu beingravaged, the socialservice club of Tej’scollege swung into actioncollecting essentials andraising funds for thevictims. It was alsodecided that somemembers of the clubwould go to the

Nagapatinam district of Tamil Naduand help in the government camps towhich homeless and traumatisedvictims of the tsunami were flocking.Tej went with the group.

“We distributed what we hadbrought and tried to help the peoplein the camp we went to as much aswe could,” remembers Tej. “Plenty ofhelp was pouring in and food,clothing and shelter wasn’t really themain problem for those people. It wasdealing with the loss of familymembers, neighbours and friendsthat almost all of them faced.

“It was agonising for us to justhear their stories what must theyhave been feeling? What would awoman who had lost her husbandand three children be going through?Or a young child who was suddenlyan orphan? Or a girl who had lost allher siblings?

And what could we say to thesepeople to lessen their pain? Nothing!All we could do was to cry with themand share their agony. Listen to themand share their grief.

“Because I had had some trainingin counselling, I was attached to apsychiatrist who was counsellingtraumatised tsunami victims. I tooknotes as she counselled people, andeven talked to some people, myselfwhen she was busy.

“One day, a woman belonging tothe fishing community, a woman whohad lost her whole family, came andbegan pouring out her grief to me.‘Four of my children were playing onthe beach when the tsunami struck,’she told me.

‘They were swept far out to seaby the very first wave. But myhusband, myself and our youngestchild were at the shops on the otherside of the road bordering the beachand though we too were carriedalong by the retreating waves, wewere pushed against a tree andmanaged to hold on to it.

“‘Waves pounded us and wewatched men, women and childrenbeing swept past us. Suddenly, myyoungest child who was just seven,lost hold of the branch he wasclinging to and was pulled away bythe current. Both my husband and I


Because I had had

some trainingin counse -lling, I was

attached to apsychiatrist

who wascounsellingtraumatised

tsunamivictims.

at once jumped into the water to savehim – and all three of us weredragged under. I couldn’t breathe andlost consciousness. But when Irecovered consciousness, I foundmyself alive because I was wedgedagainst a rock. My husband and myyoungest boy had however beenswept away!’

“The woman began to weep wildlyas if she were mad. ‘Why did Isurvive to suffer like this?’ she wept.‘Why didn’t I die too?’

“I sat frozen, picturing the scene.Till the tsunami had struck, most ofus hadn’t even known what one was.Even fisher folk hadn’t. The hugewaves the tsunami brought musthave looked like the wrath of godfalling on mankind to them! And yet,both this woman and her husbandhad, without a second thought,jumped into that maelstrom to rescuetheir child!

“But…they hadn’t jumped in tosave other people or even otherchildren! Then the instinct for self-

preservation had kept them thinkingabout themselves, but when theirchild had been in danger they hadinstinctively jumped into what wasalmost certain death in a futileattempt to save him!

“Didn’t my child deserve suchinstinctive, unquestioning love?Shouldn’t she too have someone whowas prepared to sacrifice everything– even life – to keep her safe andhappy? And that person could onlybe me. As I sat listening to thatwoman weep, I felt like a mother forthe first time!”

When Tej came back she told herbrothers that she was not preparedto get married and go away leavingJalaja behind. “I dread to think whatsuch abandonment would do to heremotionally and psychologically,” shetold them. They listened quietly anddid not protest.

Tej finished her studies and got agood job. And slowly andpainstakingly she began to build aspecial relationship with her

daughter. When Jalaja, who calls heryounger aunt “mummy,” begancalling Tej ”ma,” she felt as if she hadwon a great victory.

The advertisement – for Tej’sremarriage was never inserted in thenewspapers. But there is today acolleague who is showing interest inTej. “I like him,” says Tej. “But I don’tknow whether it will lead anywhere.My daughter, who is nearly five now,comes first for me. Every childdeserves to come first for itsparents!”

WHAT ABOUTFATHER-LOVE?

As I spoke to a friend about thewomen I had talked to about mother-love, her husband leaned forward.“What about father-love?” he askedin an injured tone. “It’s every bit asstrong as mother-love. Doesn’t itdeserve to be written about too?”

Yes, it certainly does! But anothertime!


We

* * *A young man selected an engage ment

ring. When he was told the price he gavea long, low whistle. “And how much isthat?” he asked pointing to a second.

“That one sir is two whistles.”

* * *Nirmala: How is it your hair is

black while your sister’s is brown?Divya: Well, my sister was born

after my mother dyed her hair brown.

* * *Customer (In bookshop): Pardon

me, miss. I’m looking for a booknamed Man, the master of woman.

Shop owner: Sir, the fiction depart -ment is on the other side of the shop.

* * *A woman rang up her insurance

company and said she wanted tochange the terms of her policy. “I’vejust had twins,” she told the manager.

The manager had difficulty inhearing her and asked, “Will yourepeat that please?”

“Not if I can help it,” the womanshot back.

* * *Director: “Why did you engage that

man as cashier? He squints, has acrooked nose and outstanding ears.”

Manager: “Of course, he will be soeasy to identify if he ever absconds.”

* * *The nice old lady smiled at the little

girl who had been left in-charge of theconfectioner’s shop.

“Don’t you sometimes feel temptedto eat one of the nice cream chocolates,my dear?”

The little girl was quite shocked.“Of course not, that would be

stealing. I only lick them.”

* * *Lawyer: “Well, if you want my

honest opinion...”Client: “No, no. I want your

professional advice.”

* * *A film actress was applying for a

passport.“Unmarried?” asked the clerk.“Occasionally,” replied the actress.

— Ram Babu, Vijayawada.

Principal to a three-year-old boy whowas seeking admission in a convent:Well done, my child. Now what are thenames of your parents?

Boy: Mummy and daddy.

* * *Customer: I can’t eat such a rotton

fish. Call your manager.Waiter: It’s no use, sir, he won’t eat

it either.

* * *Teacher: Now, Gopi, tell me frankly,

do you say prayers before eating?Gopi: No, sir. I don’t have to. My

mother is a good cook.

* * *Politician: “Did your paper say I

was a liar and a scoundrel?”Editor: “It did not.”Politician: “Well, some paper in

this town said so.”Editor: “It may have been another

newspaper down the street. We neverprint stale news.”

JOKES

Jewellery is used in India on amagnitude that has perhapsfew parallels. It seems thatfor every part of the humanbody a special ornament hasto be provided. Primaryarticles like black beads,items from shell, lac, conchshells, iron or copperbangles, floral jewellery which

are essential and considered asymbol of good omen, appear asvestiges from a distant past .

Outside of metals, lac is mostprofusely and widely used for turningout attractive ornaments which arecoveted also for their alleged power


The time-honoured

glory of lacornaments is

making waves intoday’s world. By Kusum Mehta

LACORNAMENTS

ARE AGAIN BECOMING POPULAR

as a kind of charm to be worn. Lac isthe resinous substance which afemale lac insect produces in atranslucent reddish fluid when it isembedded in a kind of cylinder ofpipal, bel or bar tree wigs to lay itseggs.

Lac is used in the form of sticksin two ways, one as raw material forturning out various articles, largelyornaments like bracelets, beads andlittle trinkets, the other is for colouringobjects. The lac ornaments are usedby all classes of people and thevarieties seen are endless in designand colour.

Bengal has quite a number of lacornaments. The har or mala(necklace) is very long and gracefulwith about 200 ring-shaped pieces,all interlocked. It is usually made ingolden colour, but occasionally redand green are used to form a colourscheme.

A BANGLE IN BIGDEMAND

The bangle called ruli made fromlac dust, the waste leftover, has a flatsurface, and has the largest demand.It has a ritualistic significance and isusually a sign of marriage. In thisthere are various designs. One ismanchkana, fish bone, which isdesigned on the outer surface of thebangle with the aid of colours andcoloured threads, or coils preparedfrom varying pigments mixed with lac.Thin threads are drawn out from half-molten, sticky lac and fixed to a stick.

A single-coloured thread is calledtar, when two are intertwined into asingle, it is machra. Dhenkua jal hasdouble chains patterned on the outersurface of the bangle with the help ofdifferent colours and threads, or coilsmade from these colours. The rawbangle is first coloured yellow, thenon the base, red and yellow areadjusted with fingertips and the redthreads then fixed, all this settingbeing carefully done to produce theoverlapping zigzag effect.

Thapa deoa has round, coloureddrops and is called the drop design.Jal bandha is called the wired netdesign because of its resemblance

to a net. In sikri jal, the base colour isagain yellow and the red and yellowintertwined threads are adjusted, anda zigzag is formed on the bangle inred, with fingers. The design hereresembles a single chain drawn onthe outer surface by the use ofdifferent colours and threads.

Barphulia is distinguished by fourchains on the surface again made bythe use of various colours andthreads. The base is the same as inthe others, but here strings of red arefixed in parallel zigzag lines.

In all the above-mentionedbangles, the decorative motifsresemble curved coil patterns, but inthe mayurpankh the designs arepatterned as the name suggests, onthe peacock feathers, drafted on theouter surface of the bangle underpreparation, by the dextrous use ofred, yellow and black. Neither thesingle tar nor the intertwined machrais fixed on the surface of the bangle.The decorative motif in this is thecombination of two motifs, one aplait ornament or gulloche, of twolines, the other is zigzag lines. Thecolours are significant and supposedto have some protective influence.

Bala is a bangle with roundsurface. It is usually prepared fromthe rejected portions of finishedarticles and used only foradornment. Usually, two designs aremade on the outer surface with anengraved brass mould, called katharwhich is painted red or yellow andpressed to impress the design on thebangle. Lac work is done in a numberof places like the Burdwon district,and parts of Chota Nagpur, andPurulia in Mambhum district.

In Rajasthan,lac jewellery, generally

OUTSIDE OF METALS, LAC IS MOST PROFUSELYAND WIDELY USED FORTURNING OUTATTRACTIVE ORNAMENTSWHICH ARE COVETEDALSO FOR THEIR ALLEGED POWER.

bangles, is worn on allauspicious occasions as a signof good omen. Some banglesare plain, others are studdedwith glass pieces, bright stones,beads, etc, and are the mostgorgeous. The designs on theplain bangle are the traditionallahariya (wavy) or zigzag. Butin the ornamental ones thereare many varieties like palia andphooldar (wavy) or zigzag. Butin the ornamental ones there

are many varieties like patla andphoolar (floral). They are also set

with salma, patri, etc. Once, theseused to be studded with real stones.

Jaipur is a big centre for them.In Assam a composition of clay

and lacquer forms the body of thebangles, and the decoration is madeof pure lac, coloured and laid onnarrow strips of red, yellow or blue,which look very colourful.

Madhya Pradesh also makes lacjewellery, the best known being inRewa and Indore, where ornamentssuch as chokers, earrings, rings, hairornaments and large octagonal headchains are made in traditional style.Here lac is placed over tin foil andmelted, so the latter is fully coveredby lac. This is widely used forornaments which shine with a goldeneffect.

Lac and glass combine to form aspecial kind of jewellery in Delhi bydecorating it with spangles or beads.

Some are coated with ground tinpowder as paint, then covered with atinted transparent varnish to give ametallic glimmer.

To silver the bangles, tin foil ismixed with dry glue, then pounded,washed and boiled and left to standuntil a silvery glue gets formed whichis spread on the lac as varnish. Whendry it is rubbed with glass beads. Thebangles are sometimes furtherornamented with glass beads, bits oftin or copper foil stuck along theedge. Lac ornaments are also madein Ellickpur and Lalitpur.

CENTRE FOR LACBANGLES

Dohad in the Panch Mahalsdistrict of Gujarat is an importantcentre for lac bangles and theprocess here calls for observation.After they have been made singly,several of them are slipped over theconical head of a rice pounder,slightly oiled for the purpose, thenwarmed just enough to make themstick together to form a longish singlebangle. They are later rubbed withbrick powder, then polished withvermilion, blue or yellow colouredvarnish.

Meanwhile, cotton wool is woundround a bamboo piece and hardenedby wetting and pressing on which therequired design is then pressed by alarge iron needle. This stamp isdipped in a thin metallic paste madeof boiled iron and glue, then pressedon the cylinder of bracelets to printthe pattern on them. Then varnish isapplied for three days to transformthe white impressions into a lovelygolden.

The ornamen tation is completedby studding the bangles with dropsof tin water, coloured red or madewhite with chalk.

Today, there are certain distinctivetrends noticeable in the generalattitude towards lac jewellery. Ancientforms are being sported with a senseof pride and satisfaction and arebecoming popular. There is a definiteswing towards antique and traditionaljewellery. The old designs are invogue again.


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IN RAJASTHAN, LAC JEWELLERY,

GENERALLY BANGLES, ISWORN ON ALL

AUSPICIOUSOCCASIONS AS A SIGN

OF GOOD OMEN.

As a collegian, artistSharmishtha Duttapreferred to graduate inapplied arts from theCollege of Art, Delhi. A 10-year stint as a professionalin an advertising agencyestablished Sharmishthaas a promising executivedestined to reach

appreciable heights in her chosencareer graph. But all this while, aniggling urge to paint egged her on totake up the brush and put a fewstrokes on the canvas. And when shedid so – voila! – the transformationwas dramatic.

Before long, Sharmishtha hadembarked on a parallel career as acommitted artist, using her technicalexpertise to good use in satisfyingher creativity, as a fine-artspractitioner. Today, Sharmishtha hasmade waves in the art world and herworks have been used to illustratecoffee table books. She is currentlyabout to hold her first solo showing atone of Delhi’s prestigious galleries.

What were the factors that youconsidered when you decided tomake the switch from applied artto fine art?

First, of course, was the factor ofmy individual preference for fine artand painting. Then I realised that thesubject for both of them, that ispainting, was not so different. I had

learnt the technique of application ofcolours and the other details of artcreation already. Fine art was, inaddition, giving me a chance toexpress my creative side. It was thisemotional connect that weighedheavily on the side of fine art, andthat is why I took the plunge.

What did you miss when youdecided to take up painting as aserious option?

Though I was happy to be able to

She usestechnical expertise

to satisfy hercreativity.

By Subhra


IN PURSUIT OFEXCELLENCE

Looking ahead.


centric and the more I look at thefinished pieces the more I think thetitle given to the lot is apt. In theseworks, it is the woman and her manymoods and her joy in knowing herself that is paramount.

How have viewers reacted tothis sensitive theme?

Their comments have been veryencouraging. The majority of themhave remarked that my paintings areeasy to understand. That point is myyardstick of judging my work. I striveto make my message very simple.My art is trying to create somethingpleasing. There is no layering in mycommunication, so the viewer andartist are face to face in my work. Ithink I purposely stay away fromcreating a very convoluted message.

What other themes have youexplored in your art?

I have also painted landscapes.My latest works are in a black-and-white palette on this theme. I have

restricted my choice of colours toblack and white and shades andtones within it. Thus, for instance, thenight may be in black but there mightbe a touch of red, or a hint of green,as well. I don’t set out with a fixedframe of colours, but certain coloursbegin to appeal as the paintingprogresses and, gradually, a paletteof monochromes begins to takeshape on the canvas. Of course,brilliant contrasts are not me and Ipurposely stay away from it.

What is the predominant objectthat you like to place in yourlandscape paintings?

In almost all of the landscapepaintings, the invariable presence isthat of the sky. It might be the dark,looming clouds of a monsoon sky, orit might be the fleecy clouds of awinter morning sky. There might bebirds sitting across a line, but the skywill also be visible in that work.Objects such as a boat, a ship, mightintrude unconsciously into the paintingbut then, it will be set against a redsky and there might be white pigeonsflying across the crimson sky at twilight.

What thoughts are you trying toconvey through your depiction ofthe sky?

A silver lining that appears after adark, cloudy sky has covered one’slife. There is a message of hopecontained in the grimmest of skydepictions. They are uplifting workswith a message of hope.

What is your favourite mediumfor painting?

I like to use oils always and everytime. I find this medium full of fun. Itallows an artist maximum flexibility.One can paint a surface in it in oneway, and completely change it thenext time. No other medium gives anartist that freedom. Then, once thesurface is covered, one can use aknife and create textures on thesurface, create a splash, or subduesome part… the choices are endless.It suits my creative urges and that iswhat makes me go back to thecanvas whenever I have time, duringthe day or night.


satisfy my own persona by doing apainting, I was not in daily touch withan audience any more. I had alsoenjoyed the gimmicks of producingan advertisement with a tellingmessage and doing brilliant visualsto go with it, but then… paintingcompensated me in many ways. I nolonger regret my decision.

Since when did you realise thatyou were cut out to be an artist?

Now that I look back, I think I wasalways interested in art. As a child,every spare moment was spent indoodling, doing drawings and so on.It now seems that I had simply grownup with painting.

What are the subjects that youlike to paint?

I do mostly figurative works. It isthe feminine form that is my centraltheme. I think this form is veryexpressive through my worksbecause a lot of viewers have toldme that my woman looks verysensual and the face expresses somuch of her inner mood of joy. I liketo paint the figure not as a silentsufferer but as someone who relishesher own company and is given tointrospection but not to brooding.

Have you exhibited an exclusiveshowing of your feminine forms?

As a matter of fact, myforthcoming exhibition has thegeneric title of In the Company ofMyself. All the works are woman-

We

Q

QQ

Q

Q

Q

Q

Q

I am 30 years old and married for thelast four years. Of late, I find that thesex act with my husband has becomepainful. Please help.

There are two factors in yourcase. One is that your vagina hasbecome narrow. This could be as aresult of anatomical abnormality forany operation at that place or mostcommonly chronic pelvic infection. Insome women lack of vaginallubrication may be responsible.Emotional stress and use of drugslike antihistamines are also known toreduce the lubrication. You will haveto consult your doctor who afterexamining you will be able to locatethe real cause and treat you.

I am 30 years old and have repeatedmiscarriages. I am very muchworried. Please advise.

There are a number of causeswhy a woman suffers from repeatedmiscarriages. These range fromanatomical abnormalities of thegenitalia, chronic systemic diseases(diabetes, severe anemia, renaldisease) to STD, etc. In some womenemotional stress may be responsible.You should consult your doctor whocan rule out any operative cause. Ifno specific cause is found, do notlose heart and go on trying for asuccessful pregnancy. It is quite likelythat you will succeed.

I am the 40-year-old mother of twodaughters. Of late, I have noticed asense of anxiety and restlessness. Mymenstrual blood flow is also scantyand I am getting severe itching on myprivate parts. Please help.

What you have is the approachingmenopause. The scanty blood flow isa prelude to the complete stoppageof menses. Itching on your privateparts is the vasomotor manifestationof this period and so are emotionaldisturbances like anxiety and restless -ness. Some women get ‘hot flushes’which are quite distressing at times.Do not worry. This is a passing phaseof life. Your doctor can prescribe therequired medicines to tide over thedifficult period.A

&

I am 40 years old. Recently, I read in amagazine that every woman after theage of 40 should go for a pap smear torule out cervical cancer. Please advise.

Your report is correct. Pap smeartests can detect potentially trouble -some cells in the precancerous stageof cancer cervix. If positive, one cantake remedial measures and saveoneself from one of the deadliestcancers in women.

I am a 20-year-old student. First Iused to have rashes on my privateparts but they disappeared aftersome time. Now, I have developedfour-five boils at that area and theseare persisting. I have a boy friend andI do have sex with him. Please help.

It appears you have got yourselfin trouble. It is quite likely that youhave developed some form ofsexually transmitted disease. Isuggest you consult your doctor whoafter exami ning you can treat you.

I am a 30-year-old housewife. When Iget up in the morning my eyes arepuffy and there are dark patchesunderneath. Please help.

Puffiness of the eyes could beeither due to nutritional deficiency orrenal pathology. Lack of sleep alsoproduces this. Poor blood circulationand anaemia further worsen it. Youshould be investigated on these lines.

I am 30 years old, unmarried andworking in a multinational. Myproblem is that my breasts becomevery painful a week or so before theonset of my periods. This is verydistressing. Please help.

Your problem is met commonly insome women, especially unmarriedwomen or sterile women. It hasnothing to do with inflammation of thebreasts but is due to hormonalimbalance (excess of oestrogen).Your discomfort will depend on yourthreshold of pain. Rest assured this isa normal aberration and drugs do nothelp. With passage of time you willget adjusted to it.

— Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.

I am 30 years old, and married forthe last five years. I have got myperiods regularly and though I am notusing contraceptive methods, I havefailed to conceive. Please help.

Having regular periods is noguarantee that you are fertile. Manysuch women are infertile. There maybe blockage of the fallopian tubes ortheir movements are restricted withthe result that ovulation does not takeplace. There are also other causeslike endometerosis and chronic pelvicinfections. You should consult yourdoctor who after examining andinvestigating you will be able tolocate the cause and do the needful.

I am 28-year-old single woman. Ihave developed vesicular eruption onmy private parts. Some time agowhile partying I had sex with agentleman. Please help.

What you have got is probablygenital herpes which develops aftercontact with an infected person. Yourdoctor will be able to take a swabfrom the blister and confirm thediagnosis. You have committed themistake of having unprotected sexand that too with a stranger. There isalways an increased risk of HIVinfection, the virus entering the bloodstream via these sores.


A painter who treats objects in such a way as if they have human qualities.

By Sonam Agrawal

About the artist

Dharmendra KumarBorn: 10.2.1984

Education: Bachelor of fine art(College of Art, Patna)

Participations:Sanskar Bharti (2000)

Bihar Voluntary coordinatingagency (2003)

Prativest East and WestParyavaranshiksha Kendra 2000Bihar state pollution control board

Patna 2004College of art Patna 2002-2007

PSK Laxmi Nagar New Delhi 2008Work shops

Hyderabad Varition (Painting workshop) 2006

Variation Exhibition and work shop2007 Patna

Variation Exhibition and work shop2007 (Lalit Kala Academy,

Chennai)Iocyata art gallery 2007

AwardsCollege Annual Awards (2003-

2007) PatnaContact No.: 09891916631

E-mail:[email protected]

THIS IS THE WAYIT WAS LIKE!

“This is the way it waslike” seems toDharmendra Kumar tobe the highest kind ofpraise for painting acanvas as he framessombre glories ofcontemporary art toreflect the increasingtrend of human life –

individuals turning into machines. The painter in his series

Reproduction system treats objectsin such a way as if they have humanqualities. His illustrious objects, nutsand bolts, are symbols of a quest forenergy which have them owndistinctive pain and passion anddifferent cycles of life.

In a life, when human beings areturning increasingly into machines, inDharmendra’s canvas it is noteworthyto appraise the nuts and bolts turninginto more of individuals. He evokesnuts and bolts in the form of a couplewho is fantasising squeezing, theirlove juices to perpetuate theirexistence into infinity.

Dharmendra, presently, hasshifted his mind to another interestingdevelopment – science, scientistsand a different scientific theory. Hepaints himself as an explorertravelling from medieval innocentabandon to a modern quest forknowledge, control and power.

In one of the paintings hesketches Aryabhatt inhabiting theworld with his concept of zero whilethe other canvas presents “the law ofNewton” capturing gravity in his samenut and bolt lifestyle.

Dharmendra devotes plenty oftime to each object to describe theseTitans in a very complimentary andgenerous terms. He attempts tooverturn all the accepted canons ofmodernism and totally immerseshimself in his paintings.

The artist uses oil colours tomaster his work of art and gives anideal edge to his compositions. Hischaracters are nor portrayed with anaim to armour fashion; on contrary,they assert an aesthetic judgment.

His observations are grounded in


Nut

s an

d B

olts

.

the local but his vision inunmistakably global. He is an artistto watch in future. He has avoidedthe limelight despite his reputation,and paints more out of necessity thana desire to reach an audience.

Excerpts from an interview:What does art mean to you?It seems to me as if it gives a

great deal of freedom to the actualmovement of emotion and mind inthe course of life. One of the things Ilike about painting is the assumptionthat one is flawed. You never doanything exactly right; you neverachieve what you aspire to.

Give a brief account of your life.My father Pashupati Sharma is a

businessman in the Shivang districtof Patna. My mother Adharmati Devitakes care of my house along withmy three brothers and as manysisters. In 2002, I got admission inthe College of Arts, Patna. It drew asketch of my future but when my firstexhibition Hyderabad Variation tookplace, it confirmed to me that I haveto make my path in the art only. I,therefore, moved from Bihar to Delhito observe things from inside.

What is the underlying theme ofyour art?

I do painting for myself, my self-satisfaction. My earlier worksdepicted the reproduction systemtheme in the figure of a rickshaw andnuts and bolts. It said the journey ofthe human being turning into amachine in the 21st century whenmost of the work done with the help

of these machines only. Currently, Ihave started to immerse myself onthe theme science, scientists andscientific theory.

The figure nuts and bolts, whatdo they represent?

In fact, a nut figures a man whilebolt is portrayed as his intimate soul.As I have already said that it showsan individual turning into a machine. Ithink that they can be more potentsymbols of mechanism trying tocolonise our lives and overthrow thesupremacy of humans the nut andbolt oozing the culls of life invariegated colours of life.

How do you fashion yourimagination?

For me, painting is such a private,solitary thing to rediscover yourself.In this form of art you actually dosomething that is meaningful for otherpeople, and it is extremely gratifyingfor an artist like me. At the end, I wishto become a great spirit of the age,and all the rest will fall into shadow.

Tell us about something yourexhibitions.

My first venture was held duringmy degree course. It was like aworkshop but instilled self confidencein me. I was frankly happy with thatas at the time I had never thought ofmyself as someone who could fetchsuch senior artists at his initial stageof career. From then onwards, Inever looked back.

What does a prize matter toyou?

I do think it sort ofaccelerates the pheno -menon of having artlovers in the first place,which are always aprivilege and a surprise.

Your next venture?If luck helps me, you

(art lovers) will definitelybe invited for a completeshow. Some preparationis left. It may take placein November of thisyear.


We

one of them has executedthemselves well and creditably too.Bharathwaj’s music is a plus point.The script written and directed byVaseegaran has a lot of twist andturns and is certain to sustain theinterest of the viewers. It is one morefeather in Prasanna’s cap whodespite being in the early stages ofhis career, never ceases toexperiment with characters.

AKINA Productions Raghavan is ariveting thriller in which new comerVijeeth depicts the title role that toowith natural ease. Another fresherRadhika Malhotra does provide theglamour quotient for the film, whichhas a lot of intimate scenes. Rightlyso, the film has been given an ‘A’certificate. The central theme focuseson the excessive and high-handedbehaviour of the I.T. professional whoallegedly crosses the limits ofdecency and culture when it comesto having relationship. Manoj KJayam as the dedicated anddisciplined cop is impressive.

Paranthaman who has handled thestory, screenplay, dialogue anddirection has done a fairly neat job.Gangai Amaran’s music is passable.

WRITER-director Madhumita, whotook off to a flying start with hermaiden venture Vallamai Thaarayo,

R. S

. Pra

kash

HAVING been under production forlong, Manjal Veyyil has at last hit thescreens. The film is an intriguing love– affair narrated through threecharacters but is not a triangular lovestory! Prasanna Bala (of Anbu andKadhal Kisukisu fame) and KadhalSandhya play the lead roles. Each

which proved a hit at the box office,has this time taken up a light-heartedventure for her second film thatboasts of a fun-filled title Kola KolayaMundirika. Mohan has assumed theresponsibility for the script andscreenplay and it is needless tomention that it would be a runawaycomedy. The film is being producedby Thirisakthi Sundarraman andNalini Sundarraman. The film hasKarthik Kumar and Shika in the leadroles with an able supporting castthat consists of Jayaram, Anandraj,Vasu Vikram, M.S. Bhaskar, T.M.Karthik, Kota Srinivasa Rao andDelhi Ganesh. It is a treasure huntkind of story and the full-lengthcomedy will aim at making theaudience laugh repeatedly in twohours!

FEATHER Touch Entertainment’sMalai Malai’ is a big budget bonanzawhich has Arun Vijay in the lead rolewith Vedika playing his love-interest.Prabhu and Prakashraj appear incameos and their characters aregoing to be highly talked about,opines a unit hand. Director, A.Venkatesh who has churned outseveral hits as Mahaprabhu,Chocklet, Bhagavathi, Dum, Kuthu,Yeh and Vathiyar, etc. has assumedresponsibility for the story anddirection. Kasthuri, former Miss

Naal Mudhal fame Mouli is alsoplaying an important role in the film.Sudhir Chaudhary is the cameraman.

SRI Periya Andavar Films ChithiraPoove is a spectacular venture, theaudio of which was released recentlyon a lavish scale. Newcomer RSKalaimurugan, who has been trying tostart a film for the past several yearswithout being anybody’s understudyhas handled the story, screenplay,dialogue, lyrics and music besidesdirecting the film. Newcomer Sandeepand Thamaraj play the lead roles.Sabitha Anand, Mumtaz, Saramanand many others are playing vital rolesin the film which has camera work byTamizhagaran.

Madras is also playing a vital role inthe film. The film is certain toresurrect Arun Vijay’s fortunes in thefilm industry.

WHILE the present trend is to makeaction flicks K.S. Rajan and V.S.Valsalarajan have teamed up tomake Aaru Maname which is a familytale. Sudhish Sankar has directed thefilm which has newcomer Deepakplaying the lead. Nicole Karthika whopaired opposite Sarath Kumar inNam Naadu is the film’s leading lady.Kanja Karuppu is appearing in a dualrole in this film. Rajesh, Sriman,Ponnambalam, Anand andThalaivasal Vijay are also in the cast.Sudhish Shankar has handled thestory and dialogue. Srikanth Deva isthe composer.

SIVAGIRI is the maiden venture ofIllusion Engineering which sketchesthe life and times of a dare-devil copnamed Sivagiri nearly 70 per cent ofthe film has been shot at Malaysiaand newcomer Sivagiri is getting hisbreak in the title role as Sivagiri.Rukshana, Chandni and Risha arehis three heroines. Guhan plays thevillain. Venniradai Moorthi, VasuVikram, Nennai Siva and Balu Anandare also appearing in important roles.Rajamani is handling the camera.Debutant scorer Arafin Yusuf hastuned five melodious songs. Thereare breathtaking stunt sequencesand Sivagiri has performed themwithout using doubles.

JAYAMATHI Pictures, BayamAriyaan has a different theme thathas not been ventured on the screenso far. The theme is centred around apair of lovers who intend to embarkupon their lives from the crematoriumand the mother who sacrifices herselffor their sake. Fresh face MaheshRaja is the hero of the film. Sanuja,Devi Krupa and Aswathi are the threeheroines. Kishore, Manikandan,Saranya and Ponnambalam are alsoin the cast. K. Sarganuraja hasproduced this flick which has beenhandled by Prathesh. Someimportant scenes of the film havebeen canned at a cremation ground

in Puduchery. The songs have beenshot at locations in Kulu-Manali.

DREAM Valley Corporation AayirathilOruvan, written and directed bySelvaraghavan has at last beenwrapped up after having been underproduction for long. It is a periodpotboiler with Karthi, Reema Sen,Andrea, Pratap Pothen, AlagamPerumal and Parthiban in the leadroles. G. V. Prakash Kumar is thescorer while Ramji is thecinematographer. The audio launchof the film was held on a lavish scalewhich had Kerala, “Singari Melam,Rope dance, Snake Dance, KalariFight, classical dance, MakossaDance from Nigeria and Dallu’sfashion show.

REAL Image andSatyam cinemahave come togetherto launch their firstfeature film ThiruThiru Thurudirected by thefresh director, J.S.Nandhini Ajmal andRupa play the leadroles in this flickwhich will have anall-digital release inIndia and abroad.Shot on Red oneCamera, post-production will be in$K resolution.Nandhini JS is aformer deputy ofPriya. V of Kanda

We


The launch of Sivaji Film’s Asal(which means original) wascertainly a celebration of sorts

as the muhurat has the originalflavour of a (film) carnival time. Whatwas supposed to be simple pujafunction at the residence of ThespianSivaji Ganesan at T. Nagar Chennai,turned out to be a grand gala openingceremony that had a lot of gloss andgrandeur. Ajith was obviously thecynosure of all eyes with a newhairdo and mustache with his actresswife Shalini at her side. Ajith wasquiet right through the functionkeeping a safe distance from all. Asalwill be a landmark film in my career,that’s what all he could say.

If is a known fact director Saranand actor Ajith, who have cometogether after a long gap, are sparingno efforts to making their ongoingproject Asal an impressive film.Sources close to the unit hint that thescreenplay is being shaped andstructured by Saran in such a waythat it will possess all the trappings ofa sure-fire winner.

Thespian Sivaji Ganesan’s home-banner, Sivaji Films, which is


Film-makers and film techniciansturning as heroes is no newphenomenon. Likewise film

lyricists turning as actors is alsosomething that cannot be termednew! Late poet laureate Kannadasanplayed the protagonist in KaruppuPanam years ago. Valee too playeda full-length character role in K.Balachander’s Poikkal Kudirai.Contemporary lyricist Vairamuthu too

has appeared before the camera.Well-known lyricist Pa-Vijay who

has established his credentials as aseasoned lyricist is now playing thelead role in Gnabagangal which issaid to be memorable tale of love,which is based on a real-life story.

In a touching short film that hasmade Pa Vijay speak about his latefriend Kanthiravan, with whom heshared a room during his early days

in the industry, and Kathiravan’s loveaffair with Meera, who was theirneighbour. Kanthiravan who believedin socialism, went back to his nativeplace with a broken heart after hewas arrested for a crime he did notcommit. After a few months, when Iwent to meet him, he was no more.However, I found a diary in my roomthat belonged to him. The incidentsthat he recorded in his diary havebeen made into this film. Added PaVijay, ‘This film will keep hismemories alive.’

TAMIL STARSTAMIL STARSR. Prakash

S P E A K !

now confirmed that Rajiv Krishnawho played the baddie in NewtoninMoondram Vidhi and coolly pulled therug under S.J. Suryah, the film’s leadman, is going to be playing the villainin Asal.

Much more interesting than all thefacts in the wake of the observationsof current Health Minister, which hada contributory effect on the aspect oflifting the ban on screen-smoking,Ajith will be sporting a Cuban Cigarbetween his lips during most of hisappearances in the film. From thepoint of view of the makers, it hasbeen devised and designed thus inorder to lend credibility to the leadcharacter. Ajith the lead man of thefilm has been offered the freedom tolight up the screen. According to theactor, his smoking mannerism iscertain to stand out in the film.

While it was already announcedthat Sameera Reddy is the film’sleading lady, Mamta Mohandas wasto play the other heroine, but it is nowbelieved that Mamta chose to walkout of the project as she did notprefer playing second fiddle toSameera Reddy. Nevertheless, thereare umpteen numbers of otherheroines who would come forwardwillingly to lap it up. Isn’t?

ASAL ROLLS ON!

currently managed by the veteran’ssons-actor Prabhu and his elderbrother Ramkumar, is producingAsal. Initially, they had planned toshoot the film in locations hithertonever tried at all, like – Scotland,Italy, Turkey, etc. But somehowthings did not work out as desired. Itis now learnt that Malaysia, thepreferred location of the filmfraternity, is likely to be the choicethat has been shortlisted.

Also, the unit which was anxiouslyhunting for a new face to play thepivotal role of a villain in the film has

FROM WRITING TO ACTING!


The national award-winning lyricisthas made his acting debut earlier butfor some reasons unknown, thatproject proved a non-starter! But herehe is now to take off as an actor. Theheroine of the film is Sreedevika andone can comfortably assume thatthere will be enough and more ofromantic scenes between the lyricist-turned actor and the leading lady.

The flick is being directed byJeevan, who had made his debutthrough Mayilu which is yet to bereleased.

‘Nizhalgal Ravi’ and Chandru are

But for a few exceptions,Kollywood has always sufferedfrom the setback of not having

sufficient script writers for filmsdespite the fact that Tamil literaturehas always had a veritable wealth ofstorytelling talent. Of course, screenwriting is an entirely different ballgame altogether and there is a sea ofdifference between writing a story asagainst translating the same on thescreen.

It has always been a case ofcause and concern that India beingthe largest film-making country in theworld, there has not been a full-fledged institute or college that cameforward to offer a programme inscreen – writing till recently.

For that matter there has not beena proper avenue to learn the principlesof craft until recently. In fact, it wasonly since 2004 or so, when screen –writing was looked at seriously by afew who were genuinely interested indeveloping the craft.

Well, the Chennai InternationalScreen Writing Workshop, which isthe brainchild of actor Kamal Hassanthat was unveiled recently, promisesa fair and fine deal for aspiringscreen writers.

The 250 participants for theworkshop were chosen from 1,500applications. ‘If we can get at least adozen to write passionately one newfilm in the next few years, we haveachieved a lot,’ remarked Hariharan,director, L.V. Prasad Film and TVAcademy.

Atul Tiwari, who did the Hindidialogue for Dashavatar and AnjumRajabali – both being acclaimedscreen writers and teachers havehandled the sessions.

In his address, Kamal declaredthat he would have the right of firstrefusal on those screen plays andhopes to pick at least one which hefeels will be worthy of turning into afilm.

Director Rakesysh Omprakash

Mehra who was exclusively flowndown from Mumbai to address thevalendictory function, was the guestof honour.

Mr Mehra went on to elaborate onhow he went about structuring thescript of Rang De Bansanti as wellas how he dealt with the screenplayof Dilli in an unstructured fashion byresorting to an unconventionalmethodology of film narration.

Kamal Hassan said thosescreenwriters need to be ready todeal with platforms which are palm-size. We have to take to platform likeYoutube. Just like how everyone isdifferent. The length of the film willchange; the length will get shorterbecause our attention spans will getshorter. Why should every film havesix songs? It’s not that I am againstsongs, I am against mono culture, headded. ‘We have to get talent fromthe small town and let them tell theirstories in the universal language.People are same everywhere in theworld’ observed Mehra.

Veteran Writer Jean ClaudeCarrier, K. Balachander, SriramRaghavan, Gollapudi Maruthi Rao,Balu Mehendra, French writer OlivierLorelle, Shekhar Kapur, RituparnoGhosh, Shyamprasad, Bharat Bala,Los-Angeles-based screen writerDavid Scrap and producer MichaelAndreen were other speakers whoaddressed the gathering.

Indeed, it was a commendableeffort on the part of Kamal Hassan,whose association with the filmindustry is about to complete 50glorious years!

also in the main cast.Says Vijay: The

underlying theme of thefilm is woven around theconcept that every humanbeing has some memories– good or bad that keephaunting him at every turnof life.

The music of the filmwas released recently atAVM Studio which was attended by agalaxy of film personalities, all ofwhom welcomed Vijay to face thecamera.

Pa Vijay has also assumedresponsibility for the story,screenplay dialogue andsongs besides producing thefilm under his home banner.

One more main aspect ofthe film is the musical score ofdebutant scorer James Vick,who is a former Keyboardplayer under the baton of twin-Oscar winner, A.R. Rahman.

Pa Vijay lyrics have alwaysexhibited a poetic quality. Hopefully,the same will be evident in hishandling of other portfolios too.

SCREEN WRITING GETS SERIOUS!

Well, female film-makersaren’t entirely new toKollywood. Amidst the new

breed of young female film-makers,Anitha Udeep seems to stand outhaving already ventured two films inEnglish- Knock, Knock, I am lookingto Marry, way back in 2003 andGulliver Travels, a 3 D animationfilm, that was made in 2006. Havingset a precedent of making a filmonce in three years, Anith has nowcome up with Kulir 100 Degree,which is her first feature film.

Anitha is obviously thrilled at herfirst feature flick assignment, ‘Mytarget audience is the urban youthand it is about a group of students ata boarding school. I have fashionedthe screenplay in such a manner thatit speaks of the laughter, pain, loveand anger of students belonging tothe contemporary generation. Newscorer Bebo Sashi is the son ofMurali of the famous Sabesh-Muraliteam. The film has been shot inSuper-35 mm by cinematographerVijay, a deputy of Aravind Krishna. Iparticularly liked the way he hasbrought in new sounds.

tell things their way.The pretty writer and director who

runs the ten-screen MayajaalMultiplex which is rated as one of themost successful multiplexes in thecountry, seems to have understoodthe pulse of today’s youth. The filmhas been shot at locations in Ooty,Kodaikanal and Munnar.

The film has good message too.It focuses on the relationshipbetween friends and one’s attitudetowards the system and life. All thesame, it is not preachy but has a nicesubtle message that has been told inan entertaining manner. Film-makerslike Anitha Udeep are certain to takeTamil films to further heights.

Also, we have giventhe film different tonesbased on the mood of thecharacters and reactionsbesides some good visualeffects, she exclaims.

Anitha has had theprivilege to work withDream Works (owned bySteven Spielberg) andhas been there for nearlya year and a half.

‘I have always, wanted to make afilm on teenagers most crucial yearsin their life. It was indeed anenjoyable task to capture the thoughtprocess of the urban youth, says she.Anitha explains the logic behind thetitle.’ It means cold and hot, reflectingthe state of minds of teens’

Anitha has also done a three-yearcourse in film-making in the USA. Imade a short film ‘Flowery Thorn’which pulled the attention of DreamWorks in my direction. I have evenworked with director Steven Spielbergand his crew on the science – fictionscenes titled ‘Taken’.

The film is a youth-oriented storyusing their lingo and it has tried to

BLOWING IT COLD AND HOT!

We

Have you experienced a sourand sometimes bitter tastein your mouth, or a burningsensation in the throat,chest or stomach? Well,what you're suffering from isacidity. Ignoring acidity canactually lead you to moreserious and complicatedproblems like peptic ulcers.

It is quite a simple problem when itbegins, but it can get out of handeasily if not taken seriously.

There are many names for aciditylike hyperacidity or acid dyspepsia oracid reflux or gastroesopohagealreflux disease, or urdhva gataamalpitta in Ayurveda. Acidity refersto a set of symptoms caused by aninequity. It is due to the excesssecretion of acid by the gastricglands of the stomach. The stomachsecretes hydrochloric acid that isresponsible for the proper functioningof the digestive system. This acidfurther secretes various digestive

enzymes like pepsin that break thefood particles down for easydigestion. A normal level of acid isrequired in the stomach for properdigestion of the complex foods. Whenthere is excess secretion of thisgastric acid, it gives rise to acondition known as acidity. It seemsto be very simple but the damage itcan cause in the body is hard toimagine.

Like its name, there are manycauses of this acidity:

● Stress is one of the maincauses.

● Smoking and excess of alcoholtends to weaken the nervous system,as a result the mucus membrane andthe stomach lining stops functioningproperly.

● High intakes of fatty and spicyfoods, refined and fibreless foods,overeating and eating hurriedly arefew causes that aggravate acidity.

● Excessive intake of caffeineand nicotine.

● Skipping meals/fasting.Other causes of acidity or

heartburn are pregnancy, ageing,anxiety and insomnia, obesity,posture, erratic meal timings and badeating habits.

Acidity is a problem that occursvery commonly; so going in formedications every time doesn't seemto be a very good thought. Some verysimple, natural home remedies canbe used to treat and prevent acidity.

● Chew a few basil (tulsi) leavesto get relief from burning, nausea andgas. It is an effective home-remedyfor acidity. You can also have one tspof tulsi juice every morning andbefore going to sleep at night.

● Keep a small piece of jaggery(gur) in your mouth and slowly suckit. Repeat it every hour till the aciditysubsides.

● Drink coconut water 3-4 timesa day. It is a common natural remedyfor acidity.

● Have plenty of milk and milk


ACIDITY THE SLOW AND SILENT

KILLER

How to tackle heartburn.By Dietician and Sports Nutritionist Deepshikha Agarwal

products – having curds andbuttermilk at regular intervals will helpto subside acidity. Have a glass ofcold milk or a cup of vanilla ice creamfor instant relief from heartburn.

● Daily intake of fresh mint juiceslowly after meals will help youprevent acid reflux.

● Boil cumin seeds in a glass ofwater and drink it with meals.

● The fruits like watermelon,banana and cucumber also reduceacidity.

● Herbal tea containing liquorice(mulethi) is also beneficial instead ofnormal tea, coffee and aerateddrinks.

● Drinking water in the earlymorning controls acidity, as water is agood neutraliser for acid. One canhave a glass of lukewarm water withone tsp of honey early in the morningand start day.

● Ginger is a spice well knownfor its gastrointestinal complaints.

● Kokum sherbet with cuminseeds (jeera) will help you to get ridof this problem.

Line of defence/lifestylechanges to prevent acidity

Stop smoking and binging on harddrinks. Smoking after mealsincreases the chance of heartburn.

Do not lie down immediately afteryour meals. Before going to bed,make sure you give your bodyenough time to digest the food youeat. Your stomach digests the foodwith the help of acid. Avoid lyingdown after meals to keep the acidwhere it should be. Eat your meal atleast three hours before going to bed.

Proper posture is another factorwhich should be taken care of. Whileeating, avoid slouching on the table.After the meal, keep your backstraight and upright. At night sleep inthe right posture and at the rightelevation as it will help in aciditycontrol, like keeping your head on ahigh pillow of up to six inches. Avoidsleeping on/over your stomach.

Wear comfortable underclothes.Tight belts should also be avoided.

Pregnant women should havesmall mid-meals at regular intervals.To minimise heartburn, womenshould have solid carbohydrate foodslike biscuits, rusks, khakras, bread ora fruit. At the same time avoid rich,fried, strongly-flavoured and highly-spiced foods. Eat liquid and solidfoods half an hour apart.

Frequent use of medicines likeaspirin or Disprin should be avoided.

Eat small meals at regularintervals, at least five – six meals perday. Avoid keeping long gaps. Makesure to eat little after every three –four hours.

Be fit. Try and maintain your idealbody weight. Overweight people are

more prone to heartburnattacks. Avoid very spicy,high sodium containing anddeep-fried foods – e.g.,papads, pickles, variouschilli sauces etc. Finally, eat

vegetables and fruits rich infibre.

Exercise helps

in controlling acidity. A morning andevening walk of at least 30 minutes isgood for your health and keeps theacidity disease under control. Yogicexercises and meditation keep youroverall internal system (like digestivesystems, nervous system) andexternal system in good condition.

Try to avoid chemically-preparedmedicines – though they suppressthe acid formation in the stomach,they badly affect the digestive systemand have many side effects. If youdon’t feel better even after variousprecautions, then go for the rightdiagnosis at the right time. Consultyour physician for proper medicationand treatment.

A simple and easy lifestyle cankeep you healthy and happy. Afterall, “Health is wealth” proverb was notmade in a day. Every disease has itscure, so live a balanced and stress-free life. We

EXERCISE HELPS INCONTROLLING

ACIDITY. A MORNINGAND EVENING WALKOF AT LEAST 30 MINSIS GOOD FOR YOURHEALTH AND KEEPS

THE ACIDITY DISEASEUNDER CONTROL.

Like any newly-married couple,the Luthras too were verymuch in love and started afamily. But they soon realisedthat their child was notlooking as healthy as otherchildren of his age. He did nothave much appetite andvomited often. He was notlooking like a healthy six-

month-old. A blood test showeddefective red cells. A repeat test froma premier institute confirmed that thechild had thalassemia major. It was ashock at first. They started thinkingof the prognosis of the disease. Thefirst transfusion for the child was anightmare. Then the second one andthe third one and it continuedregularly. Parents became more usedto the trauma and they tried their bestto get the pricks for the child from themost experienced medical personnel.

Thalassemia is a haemoglobin

world’s population is a carrierand 400,000 affected babiesare born each year. WHOpredicts doubling of thesestatistics within few decades.The rapid increase is largely

due to changingdemographics. While all

populations are at risk ofthalassemia, it is most common in

the South Asian community,particularly the Asian Indiancommunity.

INHERITED DISEASESBeta thalassemia major and

thalassemia intermedia are inheritedin an autosomal recessive pattern,which means two copies of the genesin each cell are altered. Most often,parents of an individual with anautosomal recessive disorder arecarriers of one copy of the alteredgenes but don’t show signs andsymptoms of the disorder. For thecouples affected with thalassemiamajor is one in four. This is one ofthe reasons for pre-marriagescreening programmes. If both thepartners have thalassemia minor, theoffspring can be born with featuresof thalassemia major.

The thalassemia trait is found inpeople whose ancestors came fromCyprus, Greece, Italy, Turkey, theArabian peninsula and Asia includingIndia, Pakistan, Southern China,


chain abnormality in which the redblood cells do not form properly andcannot carry sufficient oxygen. Thiscondition begins during childhoodand lasts throughout life. It is themost commonly inherited single genedisorder in the world. In this disease,lack of blood (anaemia) and retardedgrowth, decreases the survivalpossibilities of the patient. Thepatient needs frequent bloodtransfusion and costly treatment toavoid the side-effects of loaded ironin the body. Thalassemia major,which was considered a fataldisease, can now be effectivelytreated by regular blood transfusionsand iron chelation. Many patientswith this disease are now living in thefourth decade of life, are married andhave children.

Thalassemia is the world’s mostcommon genetic disorder and it israpidly rising. Seven per cent of the

Children withthalassemia causeanguish to theirparents. How todeal with theproblem? By Dr Kiran Bala

DEALING WITH

THALASSEMIA

Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam andLaos. It is also found in people fromAfrica and the West Indies. It isestimated that two million people inthe USA have the “Thalassemia trait.”

If one of the partners hasthalassemia minor it becomesessential to check the haemoglobinpattern by electrophoretic studies ofthe other partners.

Beta thalassemia in India rangesfrom 3.5 to 15 per cent in the generalpopulation. Every year, 10,000children are born in India, whichconstitute 10 per cent of the totalnumber in the world. The distributionof the beta thalassemia gene is notuniform in the Indian subcontinent.The highest frequency of the betathalassemia trait is reported inGujarat, followed by Sindh, Punjab,Tamil Nadu, rest of South India andMaharashtra (1.9 per cent). It ispossible to detect this prenatally byCVS and PCR techniques with a 99.5per cent reliability. Family study forlinkage analysis is preferable beforeor at the time of diagnosis.

What we can do to preventthalassemia: The majority ofchildren with thalassemia major indeveloping countries do not receiveproper treatment due to theexorbitant cost of therapy, shortsupply of blood for transfusion andthe risk of transfusion-associateddisorders. It is necessary, therefore,to reduce the burden of this diseaseby avoiding the birth of affectedchildren. Currently, this can only byachieved by antenatal diagnosis.

Universally, DNA-based

techniques are used for antenataldiagnosis although different centresin the world use different techniques– southern blotting/PCR andhybridisation to syntheticoligonucleotides, dot blot, reverse dotblot and PCR-based amplificationrefractory mutation system. Thepreferred obstetrical procedure forobtaining foetal DNA is chorionicvillus sampling, althoughamniocentesis and foetal bloodsampling can also be used.

In India, 100 million people arecarriers of this disorder, and at least10,000 babies are born every yearwith thalassemia. There is a shortageof treatment including transfusion formany of these patients. A specialblood test to diagnose the conditionis available free of charge in theseDelhi Government Hospitals:

Lok Nayak HospitalGTB HospitalDDU Hospital

Before marriage: Get the bloodtested for diagnosing thedisease/trait. If you are suffering fromthe trait and unmarried, avoid

marrying a person with the trait.If married: If both husband and

wife have the thalassemia trait,chances of the baby havingthalassemia major are 25 per cent.Get the pregnancy tested for thedisease early during pregnancy todecide whether to carry on with thepregnancy.

Parental diagnosis of betathalassemia major involves a seriesof steps.

Identification of couples at risk.Genetic counsellingFoetal testingLaboratory testsFollow-up counselling

Couple at risk: Couples at risk areidentified by simple blood tests or, alltoo often, after the birth of an affectedchild. Carriers of thalassemia can beeasily identified by the presence ofmicrocytic hypochromic anaemia inthe absence of iron deficiencyanaemia. Most carriers of betathalassemia also have higher thannormal haemoglobin A2.

Once the couples are identified tobe at risk of having a child affected


with thalassemia major, they shouldbe referred for genetic counsellingand laboratory testing foridentification of mutations either pre-conception or just after conception.

The ideal time for geneticcounselling is prior to conception oras early as possible after conception.After preparing the family pedigreerisk of occurrence or recurrenceshould be explained to the couples.They should be allowed to makeinformed decisions regarding foetaltesting.

With an affected child: All couples

who have an affected child should beoffered the option of prenataldiagnosis in the next pregnancy. Thisis widely accepted by the parents andthe limitation of this application is thesmall number of centres withadequate facilities for foetal samplingand laboratories which can carry outmolecular diagnostic studies. Thisapproach helps the affected coupleto have normal children and avoid theburden of another affected child.However, it has limited impact byitself for reducing the burden of thedisorder in the community. Forexample, if the final family size is twochildren per couple, birth of only 1/8of cases of thalassemia major wouldbe prevented by this approach.

Inductive screening: In order to bemore precise, some form ofprospective identification of couplesat risk is necessary. One approachis to extend carrier screening to allrelatives of the couple who havegiven birth to an affected child. Thisis called “inductive” screening and is

increasingly being resorted to by therelatives. For this there is a need foran educational campaign. For apreventive programme to have themaximum impact, prospectivescreening of all persons in thereproductive age group should beundertaken. This approach can beadopted initially by states with a highcarrier frequency of beta thalassemia(more than 2.5 per cent), such asMaharashtra, Gujarat, Rajasthan,Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Bengal,Bihar, Orissa and UP.

Routine thalassemia minorscreening: We know that thalassemiacan be prevented by marriagecounselling and by antenataldiagnosis. But, in view of poor healtheducation, the arranged marriagesystem and social customs in ourcountry, marriage counselling maynot be a very practical solution atpresent. Routine thalassemia minorscreening of all early pregnanciesand the antenatal diagnosis whereverrequired should be performed. We

Oh no, not again Sumanscreamed in her mind asGaurav stumbled in drunk.I can’t take this anymore.Suman’s heart beat fasteras the anger inside herbubbled up reaching thepoint of explosion.Grabbing his white button-down shirt, Suman ripped

it open and began beating on hischest with both fists screaming athim, “Who do you think you aretreating me like this! You’re not theman I married.”

They married young and had2 children. During this time Gauravstarted a business, worked hard andnow had an extremely successfulbusiness. But this success came at ahigh price. Through the years Gauravhad developed the habit of drinkingtoo much. Now, he spent more timewith his friends nursing a drink thanbeing with his family. Alcoholcontrolled him.

Gaurav, so intoxicated, couldn’teven react to her outrage. Hemumbled something about beingsorry.

“Sorry isn’t enough.” Sumanrailed. The smell of alcoholemanating from his poresnauseated her.

Gaurav fell onto their bed,without even changing hisclothes and lapsed into a deepdrunken sleep. Suman criedherself to sleep again.

Often, marriage can be adifficult road. While most of us don'texpect it to be perfect all the time,there are times when it is downrightpainful. For instance, if you're dealingwith an alcoholic spouse – it can beone of the hardest things you've everhad to deal with.

When dealing with an alcoholic,the problem is often kept a secret.The alcoholic tries to hide the extentof his drinking problem, and thoseclose to him or her often assist withthat process. Bringing the problemout into the open is helpful for allconcerned. It does not mean,however, that the alcoholic is going toagree that there is a problem.

One of the worst things we can dois make excuses for our spousesbecause we don't want to accept the


Dealing with an alcoholicspouse can be tough,

though it may not be thatdifficult to help him on the way

to recovery. By Shailja Mehta

– including you, children and yourmarriage. If you have children, it'seven worse. In fact, you could beallowing your children to live indanger. No one wants to hurt theirspouse or alienate them, but enablingthem could be tragic. Step back andtake a hard look at the situation.Refuse to make excuses for yourspouse any longer.

The second step is to get help.Chances are that you're not going tobe able to help your spouse alone.There are many, many resources forindividuals who are suffering from

addictions as well as their spouses.Bringing around

others who

have overcome addictions or who areworking on it can really help yourhusband find the inspiration to getthrough this. You may want toconvince your spouse to start a

programme. If you're unable toconvince your spouse to get

help, force him to get help.By issuing an ultimatumlike you would leave him,you could be saving yourspouse's life.

It may be helpful forthe alcoholic to hear

how his or herbehaviour has

IS YOUR HUSBANDAN ALCOHOLIC

real truth. You might say, “He'sstressed out right now and thealcohol allows him to relax and calmdown.” You might even go as far assaying, “He's not hurting anyone withhis alcohol usage, so what's the bigdeal?” The truth is that spouses dothis all too often. If you're makingexcuses for your addicted husband,stop now.

The truth is that your addictedspouse probably is hurting someone

WHEN DEALINGWITH AN

ALCOHOLIC, THEPROBLEM IS OFTENKEPT A SECRET. THE

ALCOHOLIC TRIES TOHIDE THE EXTENT OF

HIS DRINKINGPROBLEM, AND

THOSE CLOSE TO HIMOR HER OFTEN ASSISTWITH THAT PROCESS.

affected others, but the alcoholic isoften not in the right frame of mindto take that information in during thealcoholism intervention. He or she isoften too busy denying that there is aproblem. It is also useful for familyand friends to be clear about how thealcoholic’s behaviour has affectedthem, because it can guide theirfuture behaviour. For instance, if thewife has been calling in sick for herhusband and she feels guilty aboutlying to his boss, acknowledging thatis the first step toward changing thatbehaviour.

Sometimes just having theopportunity to state how they feelabout things can be therapeutic forfamily and friends. They should focuson using “I statements” and takingresponsibility for their own feelingsand behaviour, though.

When dealing with an alcoholic, itis easy to get sucked into their

behaviour. It is important for familyand friends to take responsibility fortheir own behaviour and reactions tothe alcoholic’s behaviour. When theytell the alcoholic that they will nolonger support his or her drinkingbehaviour, the alcoholic will oftenrespond defensively.

This step can be difficult for familyand friends, as well. While it is criticalthat they stop supporting thealcoholic’s behaviour for their ownmental health, they may find it hard todo so. For instance, the wife whocalls in sick for her husband may feelguilty if she refuses to do so. Shemay feel she is abandoning herhusband when he needs her help.She may even feel responsible if heloses his job.

SUPPORT YOUR SPOUSEAlthough sometimes this kind of

situation requires a lot of tough love,it's essential for you to support yourspouse at this time. Overcoming analcohol addiction is not easy at all.Without your support, your spousecould easily relapse, wonder whythey should even try or becomediscouraged. Remind them of the

great things in your life and howmuch you love them. This will be thefuel they need to get through this andcome out the other side as a cleanand sober person.

This is one of the most difficultparts of dealing with an alcoholic.The alcoholic is almost certainlygoing to resist getting treatment.While this is the point of thealcoholism intervention, unfortunatelymost interventions do not convincethe alcoholics that they needtreatment. However, some will agreeto get help just to satisfy their familyand friends. Treatment is mosteffective when the alcoholic goesbecause he or she wants to, notbecause he or she feels forced.However, when dealing with analcoholic, sometimes you have totake what you can get. Once intreatment, the alcoholic may realisehe or she does indeed have aproblem and treatment may besuccessful.

Dealing with an alcoholic spouseis very painful and difficult. Don'tneglect yourself at this time! Findsupport so that you can stay strongenough to help your spouse getthrough this.


IT IS ALSO USEFUL FORFAMILY AND FRIENDSTO BE CLEAR ABOUT

HOW THEALCOHOLIC’S

BEHAVIOUR HASAFFECTED THEM,BECAUSE IT CAN

GUIDE THEIR FUTUREBEHAVIOUR. FOR

INSTANCE, IF THE WIFEHAS BEEN CALLING

IN SICK FOR HERHUSBAND AND SHEFEELS GUILTY ABOUTLYING TO HIS BOSS,ACKNOWLEDGING

THAT IS THE FIRST STEPTOWARD CHANGING

THAT BEHAVIOUR.

We

Sir Winston Churchill wasa great statesman,Nobel Prize winner andan artist. His speechesare world famous andhave played a great rolein immortalising him inthe annals of history. Asthe late US PresidentJohn F. Kennedy said in

1963, while conferring upon him anhonorary citizenship of the UnitedStates, "He mobilised the Englishlanguage and sent it into battle."

One of the greatest qualitiesChurchill had in abundance was theability to laugh at himself. One day,during World War II, he visited anaval base to observe the Asdik anti-submarine defence system in action.As Churchill watched, the systemlocated a wreckage site and after ahuge underwater explosion, severalpieces of wreckage were fished out.Among them was a door emblazonedwith the letters “W C” (abbreviationfor water closet which is how theEnglish term their lavatory). "Thenavy always knew," Churchill later

quipped, "how to pay propercompliments." After all, WC alsostands for Winston Churchill, hencethe jesting comment by him.

To any sarcastic comment orquestion thrown at him he alwayshad an equally cutting responseready. One of the most famousanecdotes where he demonstratesthis quality involves George BernardShaw. Shaw once sent WinstonChurchill a note inviting him to thedebut performance of his play SaintJoan: "One for yourself and one for afriend – if you have one." Heenclosed two tickets: Unable toattend, Churchill replied to expresshis regrets and to ask whether hemight have tickets for the secondnight – "if there is one."

Churchill also knew how to deliversarcastic comments with a straightface as if it was the most seriousthing in the world to say. His rivalrywith fellow British Prime MinisterStanley Baldwin is well known. Onone occasion Churchill said aboutBaldwin with perfect seriousness, “Heoccasionally stumbled over the truth

but hastily picked himself up andhurried on as if nothing hadhappened."

His rivalry with Clement Atlee wasalso quite famous and Churchillnever missed an opportunity to payAtlee a back-handed compliment. Heonce called Atlee "a sheep in sheep'sclothing" – and, on another occasion,"a modest man, who has much to bemodest about."

STRAIGHT FORWARDChurchill was equally straight-

forward with members of the oppositesex and loved to get the last word inany argument. One day, Nancy Astorwas discussing women's rights withWinston Churchill, a man not notedfor his fondness for the subject. Atthe height of their disagreement,Lady Astor finally exclaimed,"Winston, if I were married to you, Iwould put poison in your coffee!"

"And if you were my wife," he drylyreplied, "I'd drink it."

On another occasion, WinstonChurchill exchanged heated remarks

CHURCHILL’S WITThe funny side of Britain’s World War IIPrime Minister. By Smita Shenoy

with a female MP at a dinner partyone evening. "Mr Churchill," the ladyfinally snapped, "you are drunk.""And you, madam, are ugly,"Churchill responded. "But I shall besober tomorrow."

He was also gracious in hiscompliments to the fair sex. On a visitto the USA one year, WinstonChurchill attended a buffet luncheonat which cold fried chicken wasamong the dishes served. Churchill,delighted, returned for a secondhelping.

"May I have some breast?" heasked politely. "Mr Churchill," hishostess replied, "in this country weask for white meat or dark meat."Churchill apologised profusely and,the following morning, sent thewoman a magnificent orchid with anaccompanying note. "I would be mostobliged," it read, "if you would pin thison your white meat."

Winston’s ready wit never

deserted him even in moments ofsadness or dejection.

His capacity to see humour evenin the gravest situation earned himmany fans. Once he was defeated inhis bid for re-election as primeminister. His wife tried to console himby saying that the defeat was really ablessing in disguise. "If so," Churchillreplied, "it (the blessing) is veryeffectively disguised."

Advancing age could not witherhis repartee. Once, a photographerpresent at Churchill's 80th birthdayexpressed the hope that he mightalso photograph the great man on his100th birthday 20 years later. "I don'tsee why not, young man," Churchillreplied. "You look reasonably fit tome."

Even when he was unwellWinston Churchill’s sense of humourwas at its peak. As he approachedhis 90th birthday, he was asked thesecret of longevity. "Sport," hereplied. As people thought he meantthat he had spent his entire lifeplaying hectic sports which led to hislong life, he stumped them by saying,“I never, ever got involved in sports.”

Upon his death in 1965, TheGuardian newspaper gave him afitting obituary. It wrote, “In WinstonChurchill has died the greatestEnglishman of his time, full of yearsand honour.”


We

Diverse views converge on what comprises a healthy diet.

By K. V. Venugopal

HEALTH DIETFOOD FOR THOUGHT

Shanthi Cauvery Prabhakar,a senior dietician with wideexperience in this professionand attached to a renownedhospital for the last twoyears, is crystal clear in herview that cucumber salad,green sprouted gram mixedvegetable, raw cabbage,spring salad and corn salads

are a must especially for people, whoare over 45. Without mincing words,Mrs Cauvery would suggest tomato,dal, mixed vegetable soup,mushroom and palak are the bestfive soups for vegetarians andcorianders chicken, chicken, mutton,sweet corn and palak chicken soupsare the five best for non-vegetarians.

As far as fruits are concerned, MrsPrabhakar would eat papaya salad,mixed fruit, apple, guava andpineapple.

When it comes to proteins,vegetarians without any hesitationcan take vegetarian dal, sproutedgrams, paneer, mushrooms andprotein, whereas the non-vegetariansaccording to her can opt for eggwhite, chicken and fish.

HEALTH DIETFOOD FOR THOUGHT

Everything is all right, but what isher suggestion for people who areabove 45? “Papaya is the best fruitfor elderly people and alternativelythey can take apple and guava,” shesays and further asserts that abalanced diet is important for peoplewho are above 45. Since life itself issedentary, exercise is a must for bothvegetarians and non-vegetarians. Itis wrongly perceived that one has totake heavy food after every exercise.Most importantly, the non-vegetarians must ensure that the skinis removed from the chicken.

What fish would she suggest fornon-vegetarians? “Undoubtedly smallfish is good and it is better to avoidfatty fish.” According to her, frieditems are not required and curry,steamed food, boiled vegetables andraw salads are good. She alsosuggests shunning carbonatedbeverages.

DIETARY TIPSWhat is her suggestion for juices?

“Always look for fresh juices,” shereminds the readers. Can she name,the best five? ”Carrot, pomegranate,apple, mixed fruit punch andmosumbi juice,” she answers readily.What are the five milkshakes shewould suggest for our readers?Coconut milk, pomegranate milk,banana milk, milk, apple and soyamilk. Soya milk contains rich proteins,which will suit people, who are over45.

Vanitha Shekhar, a dietician, whowas associated with NaturopathyHospital for two years, opines when itcomes to salads, vegetables andsprouted pulses are the best and itshould contain both green leaves andtube roots. Raw carrots and carrotcucumber are good but she wouldnot suggest carrots for diabeticpatients.

There are two categories ofvitamins: fat-soluble and water-soluble. “Fat-soluble vitamins reduceyour fat,” says Vanitha and adds thatwheat items are generally good forhealth. For instance, ragi can keep aperson healthy for 20 years. She is ofthe opinion that everything depends

on our preparation. For example,many people would prefer eatinguppama, a famous south Indian dishby preparing it in various ways likerice uppama, bread uppama and soon. “Raita and sooji items would suiteven people who are above 45,” saysshe.

As far as soups are concerned,Vanitha says she would suggest anysoup, but when asked to name thefive best soups, she said tomato,vegetable, sweetcorn, sweetcornchicken (for non-vegetarians), dalmahogani, green peas clear soup (forpatients) and carrot, but would notsuggest Maggie in the long run. Shealso rules out fast foods.

When it comes to proteins, animalfood would suit non-vegetarians. Canshe name a few?

Yes, she said and named fish andeggs. “But, of late, people startedtreating egg as a vegetarian item,”she laughs and went on to add thattwo types of fish, namely, preservedand fresh fish, would suit non-vegetarians and preserved fish,would ideally suit the people who areover 45. She would, however, adviseeggless cake for asthma patients.

Vanitha insists that people shouldopt for fresh food with an emphasison milk and milk products, as it

contains vitamins.Boiled vegetableaugurs well andkeeping items forhours together in thefridge and boiling themsuddenly hampers one’shealth. “Whether you like itor lump it, you need to take at leasteight glasses of water a day, but notbetween meals, including for peoplewho are over 45.

When it comes to fruits, Vanithawithout battling an eyelid wouldsuggest apple, banana, orange,jackfruit, dates, kismiss and mango.For mango, it is better if people takemangoshake than the fruit as itcontains more vitamins. Likewise,she would suggest the inside portionof jackfruit and the side portion oforange. These fruits would ideallysuit people who are over 45.

67-year-old Bhatnagar, who is

working in a couriercompany on a

retainership basis,said even at this age he

maintains a balanceddiet and his 61-year-old

wife Rohini, follows in hisfootsteps in leading a

healthy life. “I am a non-vegetarian, but my wife is a strictvegetarian, but, despite our age, wemanage to remain fit,” says the manwith a sense of humour and adds thatthe couple is fitness-savvy. He,however, maintains that one has tobe particular about the time factor.Could he describe his and his wife’seating schedules? “We manage toeat around the same but the onlydifference is that I take chicken soupand she opts for tomato soup.”

HEALTHY LIFE-STYLEHe went on to add that bread and

butter with salad for breakfast makesthem comfortable. What do they dofor lunch? “A mixture of rice andwheat, a typical lunch with whichMaharashtrians whet their appetite.”And what about their dinner? A roti-dal-vegetable combination settlesthem for a sound sleep.

Of course, they admit that for achange they go for idlis or dosas forbreakfast and a sumptuous lunchlaced with oily stuff. But in general,Bhatnagar said that they stick to theirnormal food. “Without fruits afterdinner, it looks like a ship without arudder for us,” he laughs.

Dr Parthasarathy cited theexample of the late C.Rajagopalachari, affectionately calledRajaji and the first governor-generalof India, whose brain America wantedto experiment with after his death.According to him, the elderlystatesman always cleaned the leavesafter having his rice items to ensurethat the subsequent sweet and fruititems did not get spoiled.

The genius also commented thatevery person has more or less thecapacity to choose the items whichhe or she could cherish, but most ofthem do not go according to theirpreferences.


We

“WE MANAGETO EAT AROUND

THE SAME BUTTHE ONLY

DIFFERENCE ISTHAT I TAKE

CHICKEN SOUPAND SHE OPTS

FOR TOMATOSOUP.”

Puneet looked at Pavithra and his eyes softened.Pavithra was his subordinate in the humanresources department of an MNC located inChennai. He had been trying to catch herattention for long, not as a boss, but in a verypersonal sort of way. Pavithra looked a typicalSouth Indian girl regularly wearing a sari. The

flower and garlands that she wore on her hairattracted him. However, Pavithra had not respondedlike any other girl would. Finally, he made his move.

“Pavithra, I would like to marry you.”To which Pavithra replied, “My mother is a

paralytic patient. My life is dedicated to taking careof her.”

“Will you stay unmarried all through your life foryour mother?”

She just smiled and left his cabin.Being the MD, Puneet Purushottaman had access

to Pavithra Jayakanthan’s CV. He found out heraddress and sent his parents with a marriageproposal. He was confident that her parents wouldaccept his proposal.

When his parents reached Pavithra’s home, theymet her parents.

Pavithra’s father, Jayakanthan, introduced them tohis wife, who was sitting on her bed.

“We bring our son’s marriage proposal for yourdaughter, Pavithra,” said Purushottaman. “My sonstudied from the 8th grade in the USA living with hisuncle. But he missed Indian culture and would notintermingle with the girls there. He did not liketheir having affairs with any and every boy.He liked Indian girls, so he got a transferback to Chennai.”

“Sir, if that is the case then you shouldknow a truth about Pavithra,”Jayakanthan said. “She is not our child.I met her when she was 14, about 10years ago, as she landed in ChennaiCentral Railway Station, without aticket with her eight-month-old brother,Kunal. She was scared and crying. I

felt pity for her and paid the fine myself. Then Ibrought them home. My wife had already had aparalytic attack. Pavithra was helpful in taking careof her, so we adopted her legally since we werechildless. I don’t know where she is from or whatcaste she belongs to. She requested me to put her ina good school since she had been studying in aconvent school before. Eventually, she did her MAand MBA and went to work in the MNC where your

A short story with an intriguing end.By Gayatri T Rao

A Question of Purity

son came to work recently. Now we canafford to have a nurse to take care of mywife only because of Pavithra.”

“She is not my daughter, she is mymother,” Mrs Jayakanthan, who wassitting on her bed, partly healed, put in.“We do not have any objection if your sonwants to marry her.”

Mrs Purushottaman happily startedarranging the shagun items on a plate.

“But I can’t marry your son,” this wasPavithra herself.

“Why, beta? You are getting a verygood life. Why are you throwing itaway?” Mrs Jayakanthan asked.

“There is one truth that nobodyincluding you both, know about me,” Pavithralooked at her mother. “The child you think mybrother is actually my son!”

Everybody looked at her shell-shocked.“When I was 13, I made a big mistake in life.

We were living in Delhi then. Without knowingabout the repercussions, I had an affair with a boyin my school. Kunal was the result. When I realisedthat I was pregnant, it was too late to abort. My

mother and Iwere thrownout of ourhouse since we belonged to aconservative South Indian family.We left Delhi and set off forMumbai. When we got down atMumbai Central, from the verylittle my mother knew aboutMumbai, we got into a local trainand went to Nalla Sopara. As wereached that station, we went tothe west side and walked aimlesslytowards a slum area there. An oldlady was selling bhajias there. Themoment we saw the bhajias, we

were hungry. We used whatever littlemoney we had to buy some of the eatables.

“Then my mother requested the old woman tohelp us with shelter. The old woman told us to staywith her since she lived alone. We would help herout with her business. There I gave birth to Kunal.The old lady may have been very sympathetic to ourcondition but not the other people in the slum. The

boys in the area would tease me and had acrooked eye on me. My mother died of aheartbreak since she could not give me asafe and protected place to stay. Beforedying, she asked the old woman topromise that she would give me and myson safety. But the old woman told me torun away from that place since she wasnot in a condition to protect me. She toldme to introduce my son as my brother formy safety.

“I caught a train and reached here.You know the rest of my story. Your son islooking for a pure girl. I am not worthy ofhim. And I can’t leave my son. I can’tsubject him to the torturous life I’ve had forno fault of his,” Pavithra finished hernarrative.

“Mr Purushottaman, this is a question ofpurity,” Jayakanthan said. “You canunderstand though Pavithra made amistake early in life, she has suffered alot. You cannot say that she is impure,either. Purity comes from the heart.”

“Now I do not know what to say. I amtongue-tied. But it is up to my son. We willabide by his decision,” Purushottamanreplied, as the guests got up.

When the Purushottaman couple hadturned around and were going towardsthe gate, Jayakanthan could see a coupleof question marks behind them.

STORY

SHORTBeing the MD,

PuneetPurushottaman

had access toPavithra

Jayakanthan’sCV. He found

out her addressand sent his

parents with amarriageproposal.

We

LG KS360: The good news is thatyou are never going to miss your PCor laptop again. Enter LG KS360!This full QWERTY slider phoneweighs just 108 grams, and yet itoffers a screen that is quitecomfortable to watch. You don’t evenhave to open the keyboard in order tostart dialling, the front panel willtransmogrify into a 2.4-inch touchscreen whenever you need it. A 2 MPCamera proves great for videorecording, and there are the MP3players and FM radios to dish outyour favorite tunes in stereophonicquality. Compatible with Edge andGPRS networks, the phone is quitefast on the Internet, and you aregoing to enjoy it for instantmessaging and email.


LATEST

GADGETSFOR YOUHi-Fi technology to fit in your life style. By Anoop Verma

Amazon Kindle: If you are abooklover, it is time to get yourselfequipped with this latest gizmo toemerge from the ensemble of theonline giant Amazon. With theAmazon Kindle you are going to haveaccess to thousands of books,newspapers or magazines. Thedevice is just 1/3 of an inch and itweighs merely 10.2 ounces, whichmakes it lighter than a typicalpaperback. It is outfitted with 3Gtechnology and that gives it the abilityto seamlessly download materialfrom www.amazon.com. Undernormal circumstances it might takeyou about 60 seconds to downloadthe latest bestseller or the latest hotmagazine. The best thing about theKindle is that it has enough space tohold 1500 books. That must soundlike a hefty library, but it is a librarythat you can carry with you whereveryou go! And if you don’t want to strainyour eyes, the Kindle offers you away to start using your ears for thereading purpose. It is incorporatedwith a new text-to-speech feature thatwill read out every page to you. Thebottom line is that if you are a readingbuff, you simply can’t do without theKindle.

Sony Series T - DSC-T90/T:Honey, I shrunk the camera! Sonyhas done it yet again, the lateststylish camera to emerge from theensemble of this tech-behemoth, theSeries T - DSC-T90/T, turns out tobe ultra-slim, at a mere 5/8 inches. Itis a perfect fit for your pocket or asmall ladies’ handbag. In its petiteframe, all sorts of powerful features

are incorporated that make it so easyto snap professional-quality pictures.But that is just what you shouldexpect from this power-packed 12.1-megapixel system. There is theIntelligent Auto Mode, called iAutothat will automatically enable you topick up the mode that will yield bestphoto quality. Then there are featureslike Smile Shutter, Face Detection

and Optical SteadyShot that makethe rigmarole of capturing the perfectshot seem so easy. And once youhave clicked the perfect shot, thewide 3.0 (7.6 cm) LCD touchscreenposes as an ideal place to view it.

Sony Ericsson W705: This sleekand stylish phone from Sony is totallygeared to jazz up the mobileentertainment experience for itsusers. The W705 is an out and outmusic-centric phone whosetechnological zeitgeist lies indelivering ultra-lucid audio quality.Your favorite songs are available atthe touch of a button. And if you wanthave a peek at popular clips onYouTube™ and video podcasts thenthat too turns out to be absurdly

simple – just one click in standby andyou are online. The phone supportsWi-Fi and 3G networks. If anything,the 320×240 pixel 262K TFT QVGAdisplay is good enough to watchmusic videos in most vibrant colours.In situations where you want to shootpictures and videos, the phone’s 3.2-megapixel camera poses as a good

option. The internal memory is of 120MB, which can be expanded up to4GB.

ITouch: When the iPod and theiPhone come together, what do youget? It’s an iTouch. The innovativenew gizmo from the ensemble ofApple features a multi-touchinterface, a large 3.5-inch display,that lets you control everything usingonly your fingers. Gliding throughalbums with Cover Flow has neverbeen so easy; you can flick throughphotos and enlarge them with apinch. A touch-screen QWERTYkeyboard is perfect for browsing theweb. Search for videos, find musicon the iTunes music store or add newcontacts.

Nokia 5700 Xpressmusic: Soyou wish to turn your mobile phone


into a MP3 music player or acamera? Just twist the lower half ofthe phone’s body. But that’s not theonly way by which the Nokia 5700makes life easy for its users. It is alsoblessed with a 2.2 inch 240 x 320pixel QVGA TFT screen, which turnsout to be a real eye candy to watchvideos on. A set of dual speakers anda 5-band equaliser with bass boostpromise crystal-clear sound. So nexttime you are travelling and a whiff ofboredom catches up with you, just flipthe phone and start watching yourfavourite music video.

Dell Latitude E6400 XFRLaptop: Spare a tought for thosethough women serving in the defenseforces. Think of Latitude E6400 XFR,the new tough woman’s laptop toemerge from the ensemble of Dell.Embellished with an innovativeBallistic Armor Protection System,the XFR easily meets and evenexceeds the toughest militarystandards. It has twice the impactstrength of magnesium alloy and ahigher drop-tolerance than any othercomputer in its class. It also turns outto be 90% faster than any othercomputer in its class. Clearly, whenDell does something, it does it in away that will leave competition farbehind. You can use the XFR in themiddle of a raging hurricane and stillexpect to get away it. The state-of-the-art PrimoSeal™ technologymakes this beast totally imperviousto minor annoyances like dirt, wind,snow and water. But the best thingabout the XFR is that it is as smart asit is tough. It runs on latest Intel®Core™2 Duo Processors, it has a

Operating System and itstouchscreen functions might seem alot like what it is in the iPhone. But inXperia X1, you have to use a stylusto enter your touchscreencommands, as the Windows iconsare really small. The Office appsinclude Word, PowerPoint, OneNotemobile, Excel mobile, and WindowsLive Messenger.

The system can also have directpush for emails using Microsoft DirectPush, which is built into WindowsMobile. Then there is the state-of-the-art music system, a 3.2 megapixelcamera and enough storage spaceto store all the pictures and musicthat you treasure. The phone evenboasts of a video call camera so thatyou can see the other party while youare calling them. That should seemlike a good way to keep in touch withyour family and friends while you areon the move.

Sony Walkman: Sony’s slim andstylish NWZ-S618FBLK Walkmanpacks just about everything that youmay need to take your favouriteentertainment with you. It has apowerful digital music player and aspectacular 1.8” LCD screen thatpromises hours of nonstop viewingpleasure. Its eight GB drive can storeup to 5000 songs and 8 hours ofvideo. An added plus is theWalkman’s versatile FM tuner that can be preset for up to 30channels.


fast-charging battery and the 14.1”LCD screen is impact-resistant.

Microsoft Arc Mouse: Themouse has evolved. It is now muchmore versatile and feature-packedthan ever before. Equipped with a 2.4GHz wireless USB micro-transceiver,it has a range of up to 30 feet. Soyou can even lounge on the bed anduse this mouse to operate the screenfrom a distance. The much-admiredscroll wheel is there, and so is thebattery-status indicator. The bestthing about the Arc Mouse is that it iscapable of folding to 60% of itsexpanded size, in order to sparevaluable space. You hardly need tofind an extra pocket to bag it; thismouse is so small in its folded avatarthat you could even stuff it in yourjacket pocket. The superlativeergonomic design and a one-touchaccess to Windows Flip 3D are likean icing on the cake.

Sony Ericsson Xperia X1: Theslim and easy-to-navigate SonyEricsson Xperia X1 comes packedwith features that make it asdesirable to music and gadget lovers,as it is to the enterprise users. Thephone is run on a Windows We

The last time, you were hot inbed was when there was aheat wave. And the onlything that gets turned ononce the lights go out is thealarm clock buzzer. Maybeyour spouse pesters you todo the mattress dance morethan you want to. You mayeven oblige, but you don’t

really want to and don’t really enjoy it.Is there something wrong with you?Sex therapists don’t like to play anumbers game when talking aboutfrequency of intercourse and what’sconsidered normal. They’re moreconcerned with determining what’sright for a couple to maintain ahealthy relationship.

If you’re in a relationship and youmake love one or two times a monthor less, that might be considered low.But who’s to say what level of desireis “more desirable”? Low libidobecomes a problem that should be

addressed only when it is perceivedas problem. Sex therapists say,

“It’s usually only in the

framework of a relationship that itbecomes an issue.”

It’s when there is a discrepancy indesire between the person and thepartner, or when people feel there’ssomething wrong with them becausethey have a low level of desire.Everyone experiences peaks andtroughs in sexual desire, an ebb andflow in libido, that could be causedby any number of factors, from a badchildhood to a bad day to a badillness, from too much stress to toolittle time. Occasionally, a hormonalimbalance or prescription drug willhelp to sap your sex drive.

And, of course, there’s adifference between sexual drive andsexual function. You may be able tobecome aroused and experienceorgasms yet have little or no interestin doing so. (That’s why seekingprofessional advice from your doctoror a qualified sex therapist is not abad idea if your problem persists). Ifyour lowered libido persists and youperceive that you have a problem,what can you do about it?

Symptom relief: Libido is anappetite and it often can be verydifficult to help someone acquire thetaste for something or toacknowledge to themselves that theyreally do have a craving for some -thing delightful. You can presenttempting foods like a luscious dessertbut that won’t necessarily helpsomeone who doesn’t feel like eatingor who denies himself or herself thepleasure of eating sweets. Here’swhat therapists might suggest tocultivate a sexy sweet tooth and put alilt into your libido.

Sample from the sexual spicerack: For many couples, sexbecomes as exciting as doping thedishes because they do the samething all the time. Reading a sexualmanual and trying new positionsor new techniques may adda renewed dash ofzest to makinglove.

LOST YOUR LIBIDO?GET IT BACK

If you are feeling low because of your libido here is how to get high again. By Vikas Kumar Jain

Don’t forget to touch: Peoplewith low libidos are often reluctant toexpress any sort of affection towardstheir mates. They may believe theirgestures amount to teasing or willspark a debate over making love, butthe loss of touch makes their partnersfeel unwanted and unloved. Coupleshould maintain or resumeexpressions of affection — a kiss onthe cheek or lips, casual touches onthe arm or shoulder, a brush of theirhair. Both partners need todemonstrate that they care, but withthe understanding that the display ofaffection is not a signal for sex.

Read something risque: Youdon’t have to don sunglasses and araincoat and creep into an adult bookshop, but you could read someromance novels, love poems or eroticliterature to try to nurture or enhanceyour own sensuality.

Spend an hour in the shower:Don’t treat bath time as just a three-minute clean-up before you dash outof the door to work. Avail yourself ofall the sensual experiences in theshower or bath. Feel the pleasure ofthe water as it dances on your skin.Lather yourself sensually, perhapswith a loofah sponge rather than aflannel. Use bath salts and slightly-scented candles.

Mind over sexual matters: Inconjunction with sexual-enhancementtechniques, there are other kinds ofstrategies to heighten a low libido.You can deal with the immediateproblem of techniques, but that mightnot help for ever or save arelationship.

MORE APPROACHESDig yourself out of the dumps:

Depression can produce some veryphysical symptoms and is one of themost common causes of an inhibitedsex drive. When you’re depressed,you have an interest in practically

Let your fingers do the talking:Take the time and pleasure to knowyour own body and your partner’swithout any pressure to haveintercourse and orgasm. Focus onthe leisurely exploration of eachother’s bodies and share the joy andintimacy of that alone. Touch eachother, feel and caress each other’sgenitals, notice the sensations ofyour two bodies as they move about.Tell each other what feels good.

Don’t hesitate to help yourself:Sexual self-gratification is not dirty orwrong. In fact, a person with lowlibido can use masturbation to learnwhat feels good to his or her body, sothat sex provides a positive instead ofa negative feedback. Practise first inprivate where you won’t be self-conscious, then broach the topic ofmutual masturbation with yourpartner.

nothing. Certainly your libido will bedecreased too. It just flies out thewindow.

Look in your medicine chest: Anumber of prescription and over-the-counter drugs, especially certaintypes of psychiatric and anti -depressant medications and somepills to lower high blood pressure,could dampen libido for both menand women. Some drugs alsointerfere with your ability to bearoused. If you’re using medicationsthat you think are responsible fordecreasing your sex drive, stoptaking them. Speak to your doctorand ask for alternative drugs.

Ask for help: From your spouse,that is. At least, at first. He or shemay, after all, have been the first tonote the low libido. Whether it’sexploring each other’s sensuality,experimenting with new positions ortrying to get in the mood more often,explain to your spouse that you mayfeel awkward, self-conscious and abit stressed in attempting to change,but that you want to do it for the sakeof the relationship. Tell him or herthat you need him or her help andunderstanding.

Talk to yourself or perhaps afriend: Ask yourself why your sexdrive has taken a nosedive. Has italways been that way? What washappening in your life andrelationship when it veered? Mull itover in your head, and then talk toyour partner, a friend or a familymember who knows you well. Theymay help to spark some insight.

Take time to address yourstress: He works, she works. He’stired at the end of the day, shecomes home late several evenings aweek. The kids have homework thatneeds to be checked. The ambition toexcel professionally, the demands ofraising children, the need to maintainsocial connections — all thesestresses put the brakes on the sexdrive. That can out you in a state ofapathy when it comes to sex.

None of these everyday,

every-week worries leaves muchtime, ambition or emotional energyfor making love. You may need togive sex higher priority in theirrelation ship. Try making a date withyour partner. Not just to make love,but to talk to each other, hold eachother and share your feelings andconcerns about each other. That mayhelp to restore your sexual interest.

HELP FOR THOSEHORMONES

It’s also entirely possible that yourlibido is being K.O’d by a hormoneimbalance in the body. Here’s whatyou should consider:

Deal openly with the meno -pause: Some women may notice adeclining interest in sex duringmenopause. It’s a common side-effectwhile the body is trying to adjust.Oestrogen-replacement therapy canhelp return your libido to normal. Oncethe unpleasant symptoms of themenopause have stopped, the drivereturns and could even be enhanced.

If you are going through themenopause, ask your doctor abouthormone replacement therapy.

Wait out the pregnant pause:Hormonal changes during pregnancy,especially the last trimester andlactation often can dampen the drivefor sex. Hormones are present indifferent levels at these times. Lossof libido immediately after childbirthand during lactation is nature’s wayof spacing children.

Test your testosterone levels: Ifyou’re a man who seemingly has nopsychological reason for a lack ofdesire, you may want to ask yourdoctor about having a blood test tomeasure your body’s level oftestosterone. Low levels of the malehormone aren’t a common cause ofsapping your sexuality, but it alwaysmust be suspected. Depending onthe cause, a doctor could prescribeeither testosterone injections or amedication that counteracts otherhormones that are suppressingnaturally-occurring testosterone.


PEOPLE WITH LOWLIBIDOS ARE OFTEN

RELUCTANT TO EXPRESSANY SORT OF

AFFECTION TOWARDSTHEIR MATES. THEYMAY BELIEVE THEIR

GESTURES AMOUNT TOTEASING OR WILL

SPARK A DEBATE OVERMAKING LOVE, BUT

THE LOSS OF TOUCHMAKES THEIR PARTNERSFEEL UNWANTED AND

UNLOVED.

We

Qyour sister your concern andobservations but it is up to herjudgement as to the treatment she iswilling to tolerate from her husband.

I am 15 years old girl. Recently Ihave found that my boobs are not inproper shape. When I am lying downstraight my boobs fall on sides alsothey are tender and soft. Are thereany oil and cream massages to makethem firm?

At the age of 15 your body is stillgrowing but if you feel your breastsare loose you should exercise. Thereare no creams or oils to makebreasts firm and you really would bewasting time and money on that. Getyourself the right fit of the bra as wellto give ample support to yourbreasts.

I am 25 years old and I am in lovewith a Brahmin boy for the past 3years. His parents are not agreeingto our marriage and he won’t goagainst his family. My parents havenow got me engaged to a guy frommy caste.

As I have dosha in my kundali andit says I might never get married myparents have forced me into thisengagement. I never liked this guyfrom day one and finding it difficult toaccept him. I hate it when he callsme and can’t stand him. There is still5 months for our wedding. What shallI do?

Whatever you do, don’t marry aman you absolutely hate. You haveto face to the facts that your Brahminlove has definitely decided not tomarry you.

Don’t punish another man for that.Tell your parents that you cannot gothrough this marriage, you will regretit for the rest of your life.

Hopefully, you are a newgeneration girl and do not believe inkundalis, etc. Do you feel confident offinding somebody on your own later,if not, then see if you cancompromise with the man selectedby your parents. If you cannot standhim now, how will you make a familylife with him?A

&

When my younger brother declaredthat he was a homosexual ourhousehold underwent a lot of tension.Finally my parents accepted hisdeclaration and the fact that he willnever marry. He now lives in anothercity with his lover. My other sister isnow getting married and my brothersays he will attend only if my parentsallow his ‘partner’ as well. He expectsmy support but I don’t know what todo.

Yes, you have a valid pointbecause accepting your child’ssexually different behaviour is onething for old parents but to see himwith his male partner while the familymembers are there is quite another.Tell your brother that he should noteither be so rigid as he might have‘come out of closet’ this family gathe -ring is more about your youngestsister’s wedding and should be givendue sanctity.

My girlfriend is 10 years older to me.Can I marry her? We love each othervery much. Her parents know aboutus. But mine don't. How shall Iconvince them? Please let me know.

You have not mentioned your agebut if you are of legally marriageableage then you can marry her. As forconvincing your parents, it is notgoing to be easy as 10 yearsdifference is rather a lot for parents toignore. However, if you love the girland are sure of your maturity you canstill go ahead, get married and hopethat your parents will accept you.

QA&

I have 2 daughtersaged 5 and 21/2years. Please adviseme on the healthyfood that I could givethem. Is it okay for

them to eat chocolates (I am verystrict about eating chocolates andalso drinking cold water)? On thewhole they are active but myyounger one hasn't gained weightas per her age.

While it is good to be adisciplinarian there is nothing tobe gained by total denial. Let yourdaughters eat chocolate but inmoderation and always caring forthe teeth by brushing themafterwards. If your youngerdaughter seems too thin for herage, it is best to consult a childspecialist. Every child is differentin their metabolism and maybeshe is just built different to herelder sister, don’t worry about ittoo much.


I am a housewife but my elder sisteris working in a MNC at a very seniorpost. I visited her home for aweekend and was horrified how badlyher husband treats her and does nothelp out with any household choreand yet expects her to wait upon him.I don’t work and yet my husbandhelps me in house work and babycare. How do I make my sisterunderstand her husband is usingher?

You are lucky if you have anunderstanding husband who helpsyou out in your home duties eventhough you are at home and notworking. Your sister obviously issmart enough to hold down a job thatpays her well. You can mention to


Priya, Jeypore.Shashi Sharma, Noida.

Winners of Crossword - 155

WINUPTOWINUPTORs15,000I N C A S H P R I Z E S

Kalpana Shetty, Bangalore.

Preethi Balge, Ahmedabad.Geeta Anand Kulkarni, Kolhapur.

Nikita S. Mantri, Mumbai.

Jasbeer Sodhi, Secunderabad.Shahida Hasan, Gorakhpur. Nidhi Bakshi, Jaipur.

Simmi D’sa, Mumbai.

CA. Rekha Devanand, Udupi.

Balwant Singh, Patiala.



O158F A M I L Y P H O T

C O N T E S T

CrosswordCrossword

Renu Sethi, New Delhi.Lt. Pushplata, Faizabad.

Radha Dutt, Gurgaun.Sunayana Dalvi, Satara.

Rinki Panesar, Jabalpur.Kuldeep Kaur, Farldabad.

Dinesh M. Trikannad, Goa.Deepti Bahen P., Nandej.

Payal Kathuria, Raipur.

Sushma Behl, Jammu.

C. P. Sasikumar, Cochin.

Pradeep Kumar Sharma, Delhi.

Rules and Regulations

A prize of Rs 15,000 willbe given to the personsending an all-correctsolution. In case there aremore than one sender of anall-correct solution, the prizeamount wil l be dividedamong the first 30competitors chosen by lot.The decision of the manage -ment wil l be f inal andbinding. Entries must be onthe crossword printed here.Photocopies wil l not beaccepted.

Entries must be sent soas to reach Woman’s Eraby 31 August 2009, byordinary post. No corres -pon dence in this matter willbe entertained.

The contest is not opento the employees of DelhiPress. Every entry shouldbe accompanied by thesender’s family photo. If youare declared a winner, yourfamily picture may beprinted in the oncomingissue. Please send a signeddeclaration that you have no objection to printing your family picture.

Across: 1. Commission,6. Nought, 9. Pan, 11. Avert,12. Instil, 13. TM, 14. Clip,15. Tram, 16. Dot, 17. CN,

18. Mac, 21. TB, 22. Campaign,23. Due, 24. Tribe



WINUPTOWINUPTORs15,000I N C A S H P R I Z E S

Down: 1. Candidate, 2. Moussake,

3. Sit, 4. Nape, 5. Ointment,

7. Hair, 8. Parliament, 10. Art,

14. Candid, 16. DC, 19. Tat,

20. Ape, 21. Tub, 22. Bee, 23. Di

Win win win

on your word

power

Answers to Crossword-155

Sandra Dutt, Bangalore. Mirza Da Costa, Goa.

Dr G. Sirisha, Guntur.

S. C. Sharma, New Delhi.

Vidhi Kavdia, Udaipur.

Budhdeo Pd Singh, Ghaziabad.

QQ

Q

Q

Q

QQQ

Q

QA&

When we switch on iron, can onegarment alone be ironed?

Don’t use iron for one garmentonly. It consumes a lot of power. Whileironing, press some clothes always.

My TV had developed fault after afew months of use. How many dayswill it take for my complaint to beheard by the dealer?

Write to both the dealer andcompany and ask for after-salesservice or replacement of thetelevision. If they don’t take heed ofyour complaint in 15 days, aconsumer court can be approached.

I live near a multiplex. Theshopkeeper selling soft drinks in ourarea charges us higher, because hesays the multiplex also asks morefrom customers. Therefore, he asksus to pay Rs 20-30 extra. Is he right?

A multiplex, mall or airport isallowed to charge more for softdrinks, because the bottles carrywords like “select channels” and“retail,” on them. The localityshopkeeper sells soft drinks whichdon’t carry these printed words.Hence, he can’t charge Rs 20-30extra. If he persists, a fine of Rs2,000 can be imposed.

My daughter is to enter college. Wewant an education loan quickly. Howmany days would it take for loan tobe given?

You can get education loan in 30days.

I go on frequent business trips. Areair fares cheaper in evening? I wantto save money on flights.

Take afternoon flights – they aremost economical.

What does pure zari contain? According to the Bureau of Indian

Standards, pure zari has minimum50% silver, 0.5% gold and alsocopper, at permissible levels.

I have been wanting to purchase goldcoins, but there is one small query.Would the coins cost the same at allbanks?

No, there can be a differencebetween gold coins at differentbanks. For example, if you want topurchase a 5 gm gold coin at onebank, the coin may cost less thanRs.600-700 than at another bank. Itis advisable that prices at differentbanks are checked, before buying thesmallest gold coin, also.

Though my car has a warranty,somebody said that I have to becareful about parts like the clutch.What does it mean?

The car warranty covers parts,and generally excludes wear andtear. Therefore, if the clutch plate ispressed heavily many times, it maybreak. The car dealer can escapegiving compensation, on ground ofbad usage.

To avoid such situations, car partslike battery, tyres and oil filter mustbe delicately handled.

Do I have to show a lot ofdocumentary proof to open a simplesavings account?

You would be glad to know thataccording to new RBI rules, just anaffidavit and a photograph areessential for starting an ordinarysavings account.

Should I go in for fans with sixblades, to cool my rooms?

A fan with six blades does notcreate a cooling effect. As there areso many blades, the space constraintprevents the fan from circulating air.

Should I get valuation of myornaments done before putting themin a bank locker?

A valuation certificate ofornaments is always desirable. Forsafeguarding jewellery against banklocker theft and also for insurancepurposes, the valuation document isa great asset. You can also getpictures of jewellery taken beforeputting them in a bank locker.

Can light brightness be altered, toreduce the power bill?

Yes, you can use a light dimmer.For example, when bright light is notrequired, the dimmer cuts off extrashine. Thus, voltage is reduced,lowering the electricity bill. It isestimated, when a light dimmer isutilised for cutting off 50%brightness, as much as 40% of thepower bill comes down.

I want to sell products at Internetshopping sites. What kind of itemscan be considered? Is the investmentlarge?

One can sell apparel, jewellery,books at websites. The investment isvery low. Just Rs.1,000 may beenough.

Meenakshi Subramaniam is a former IRS officer, answering all

your money queries, right from incometax to supermarket shopping.

Mail your queries to:WOMAN'S ERA,

E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110055.

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CLASSIFIEDSWANTED BRIDE

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WHEATGRASS DEALERSHIPWHEATGRASS powder (food supplement)company wants dealers in all States. Startingcost 4500/- income 10,000+marketing fromhome/ shop. Wheatgrass helps cure Anemia,Thalassemia, Diabetes, Arthritis, Piles, Ulcers,Obesity. Sms your address 09822002042(Pune) for details by post.(www.girmeswheatgrass.com).

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IF you are having impotency because of ageingor diabetes, genital plastic surgery by penilesplinting can help you at Samadhan in Delhi,Bangalore and Ahmedabad dial 09311630223or e-mail: [email protected] for loose genitals in females, tummy tuck,breast surgery.

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CHOCOLATE MAKING

LEARN technical know-how to makechocolates, includes production / costcalculation / marketing / machinery fromprofessionals and set up your own profitableunit. Beside training, we accept orders forwedding, corporate and return gifts.Allchocolates material available. Please dial9871817711 e-mail:[email protected], http://chocolateclassessandmaterial.com.

CANDLE MAKINGLEARN candle making (wax, gel, decoration,carving)/ chocolate making/ giftpacking/trousseau packing/envelope making/basketmaking/ basket decoration/gift accessories/soap making/jewellery making/ cosmetology/nail art / potli and bags/bead work decoration.Mobile: 9871817722 Delhi e-mail:i n fo@cand lec la s sesandmate r i a l . com,http://candleclassesandmaterial.com.

LEARN CALLIGRAPHYWANNA learn calligraphy and beautifulhandwriting. By Anup Dass, Ramesh NagarNew Delhi. Mob: 9811563442, 9818428451,9811562556.

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COSMETOLOGYLEARN how to make shampoo, coldcream,facepack, gel, homemade soap and start yourown business. Certificate provided by KVIC,Government of India. For detail, plzdial 9811272138, e-mail:i n fo@cand lec la s sesandmate r i a l . com,http://candleclassesandmaterial.com.

PRIVATE LIFE/SEXUAL PROBLEMSCHILDHOOD experiences leave psycho -logical impacts affect sexual lives ofteachers-students-parents by strictdisciplinary methods (punishments). Shareideas, experiences, possible remedies.Bringing together like-minded persons forfulfilling happier life e-mail:[email protected] sms 09818710303confidentiality assured.

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ACCENTUATING FEMININITYDesigned by: Rohit Verma & Sanjeet AnandModel: Mansi TambadeMake-up: Meenakshi NamadePhotography: Hemant Kedar

EMBELLISHMENT TO BEAUTYJewellery: DTC Ltd.Bank Street, Karol Bagh,New Delhi.Wholesaler & Retailer of Loose DiamondSolitaire, Diamond Jewellery & KundanPolky Jewellery.Ph: 011-45678333

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YOGA THERAPYSPECIALIST

THERAPIES are provided by RenownedYoga Guru and corporate trainer Dr SandipKumar, course Director of Shivananda YogaSevashram, New Delhi. He is a Postgraduatein Yoga Psychology from Bihar YogaBharti/ Bihar School of Yoga, Munger andPost graduate in Preventive and PromotiveHealth Care from Apollo Hospitals Group,and again, he is a postgraduate in HolisticHealth Care from the same, Apollo HospitalGroup. (Teachers and Therapists are alsoavailable for Home visit). Shivananda YogaSevashram, 258, R. P. S. Colony, Khanpur,(Near Sainik Farms), New Delhi-62,Helpline: + 919811328067, e-mail:-www.yogayogini.com

ADVICEREADERS are advised to make approp -riate and thorough enquiries beforeacting upon any advertisement. Thismagazine does not vouch or subscribeto claim and representation made bythe adver tiser regarding the particularsof status, age, income of the bride/ -brideg room.


AS YOU SAY

E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.Womansera.com

Name:

Mobile:

E-mail:

invites readers’ opinions andreactions onarticles, short storiesand features publishedin Woman’s Era. The bestletter will be given a prize of Rs 500. Address your letters byE-mail to: [email protected] by post to:

WOMAN'S ERA

The prize is awarded to:Tharcius S. Fernando, Chennai.

LET TRUE LOVEPREVAIL

I refer to the article,STDs Spoilers in SexLives (June II). Isincerely feel theabsence of real love

and affection that has to be the sweetblender in the lives of married couple,to be one of the main reasons foreither of them going astray andacquiring such dreaded deceases.

A strong realisation that they aremade for each other and that tilldeath they have to be loyal to eachother in tune with the vow they havetaken at their holy matrimony woulddeter them from indulging inextramarital affairs. Let true love,which is eternal, prevail over carnalfeelings that are really short-lived.

– Tharcius S. Fernando, Chennai.

MEIRA KUMAR, AFITTING CHOICE

AS SPEAKERYour tribute to

Meira Kumar on herelevation as the firstSpeaker of the Lok

Sabha is very apt – First WomanSpeaker of Lok Sabha (June II,2009). This soft spoken former IFSofficer who has served the nation indifferent diplomatic assignments isendowed with many qualities whichhave encouraged the UPA Govern -ment to select her to adorn the mostcoveted seat in the Lok Sabha.

Apart from being the daughter ofBabu Jagjivan Ram, a prominentDalit leader from Bihar and one of thetallest leaders of the pre and post-Independence era, Meira has beenan MP for decades and has also

served as a minister at the Centre.There is no doubt Meira with her

rich parliamentary experiencecoupled with her pleasant manne -risms, would prove herself worthy ofthe august seat she occupies nowand thereby pave the way for her tobe the automatic choice of both theruling as well as the oppositionparties to succeed Pratibha Patil, theincumbent President when shecompletes her five year term of officein the Raisina Hills.

– Yvonne Fernando, Chennai.

WHY MARRIAGESSUCH EXPENSIVE

AFFAIR?I fully agree with the

views expressed by K.M. Sharma in thearticle (June I), What

goes into our MatrimonialExtravaganzas that marriage is apersonal affair that needs to becelebrated in a simple and dignifiedmanner. These days marriage hasbecome an expensive affair andpeople spend more than theircapacity.

It is really absurd that some peopleborrow money to spend on suchoccasion. Simple marriage with a fewguests can lead to a lot of saving.Money thus saved can be used for thefuture needs of the married couple.

– Harinder Kaur, Jalanadhar.

A SOCIETY ISJUDGED ON ITSTREATMENT OF

WOMENThe editorial, An

Eternal Problem onhuman trafficking,

together with Apt Recommendations(June I, 2009) about makingregistration of marriages with NRImandatory, in reality points towardsthe ever-lowering standard of living ofour countrymen. Be it the humantrafficking or exploitation of women inNRI marriages, not merely thenotorious elements but we all in thesociety are responsible.

The allurement of settling abroad

remains so powerful in our heart andsoul that we hardly bother to analysethe detailed characteristic of dupingelements. Instead of pointing fingersat any authority or sect, let’s evaluateas to how effectively can wecontribute to improve the scenario.

– M.P.S. Chadha, Mohali.

WOMEN WERE ATTHE RECEIVING

END OF LICA woman is never

allowed lower lifeinsurance premium.On the contrary until a

few years after nationalisation in1956, women insured had to payhigher premium than men, called ‘sexextra’. It was thought that the lives of“weaker sex” involved greater risk! Itis understood that a daughter of thetop executive of the LIC , in its earlydays, proposed her life for insurancewhich was accepted with the sexextra. She seems to havesuccessfully argued and convincedher father to see that the sex extrawas removed for all women.

Now life insurance premium for awoman is at par with man (at leastwith LIC if not with all other privateinsurers), but never at a lower rate.

– M. Radhakrishnan, Thrissur.

Let’s face it. Sex is a fact of

life. But today increasing

sexual liberation and

tolerance have resulted in

unconventional practices and

encouraged sexual orienta -

tions that were once

considered taboo to be

accepted by quite a number

of people.

Without passing judgement on

those who prefer to experiment in

their sexual affairs, this liberal

attitude and behaviour could lead to

serious consequences if parameters

to pleasurable and safe sexual

activities are not observed and met.

The same is also true with the

general public lacking proper

understanding and appreciation o

sexual health issues and standard

which could lead to neglect of the

partners’ sexual rights.

Every sexual encounter should b

coupled with a responsible attitud

The lack of it can result in unwant

pregnancy that may lead to emotio

and psychological complications,

only for the parents but also the ch

Unprotected sex also exposes se

partners to a high risk of contrac

chronic sexually transmitted dise

(STDs).Do not be deceived. Even

seemingly healthy person besid

can be afflicted with a se

transmitted disease without y

that person knowing it.

Though some STDs may p

obvious symptoms, most ST

asymptomatic infections that

show noticeable signs

symptoms. Thus, they can b

the “silent” infection. Thes

can only be diagnosed

STDsSPOILERS STDsSPOILERS

Many forms of the

disease make life

difficult for couples.

By Vikas Kumar Jain

LIVESLIVESIN SEX


HIGHER EDUCATION STILL AT CROSSROADS

Once again, admission process has begun in the

universities. Each year, millions of students

appear in school-leaving examination and

millions of them pass out with flying colours obtaining

more than 80 to 90 per cent marks. Over the years,

number of students securing more than 90 per cent

marks is growing. This has created a problem of

shortage of seats in well-reputed colleges. In Delhi

University, for example, more than 50 thousand

admission forms were sold in just two days. Obviously,

all these meritorious students seek admission in

reputed colleges. But the seats are limited. A big

question mark, therefore, hangs on the future of

students aspiring for the higher education.

New HRD Minister Kapil Sibal has very timely taken

over the charge of Human Resource Development

Ministry. Immediately after assuming office, he

outlined his priorities and declared that skill

development would be the main thrust area.

Secondly, he sought to review the foreign

university Bill, which was introduced in the last

Lok Sabha but could not be passed, due to

vigorous opposition by the Left Parties. This

time, the entire Left has dwindled in strength. It

seems almost certain that the foreign university

Bill will come to fruition. Kapil Sibal seems to be

in a hurry, for he wants to do what his

predecessor Arjun Singh could not do in his

entire five-year term. Leftist bent of Arjun Singh

is well known and Kapil Sibal is a strong

proponent of liberalising education sector.

Kapil Sibal’s eagerness is understood. There is

certainly a dearth of seats in Indian universities. Then,

all the meritorious students could not get admission

due to various reasons like reservation and all that.

Entry of foreign universities is likely to ease the

situation in favour of Indian students. But who will

ensure that these foreign universities don’t get indulged

in pick-pocketing only? Proper regulatory mechanism,

therefore, must be in place before any foreign

university is allowed to plant its feet on Indian soil.

Their credibility should also be checked beforehand.

One more thing, for a large number of people, higher

education still means conventional courses like BA,

B.Com, and B.Sc., etc. No doubt, these courses

produce experts in their fields. But their USP is

constantly declining. Otherwise, why is it so that a

doctor, an engineer, an MBA or a CA commands more

respect, and money, in our society? In fact, the entire

education system requires complete overhauling.

Hopefully, the new HRD Minister will be able to

complete this mission during his tenure.

EDITORIAL

FIRST WOMAN SPEAKER OF LOK SABHA

The unanimous election of Meira Kumar as the

first woman Speaker of the Lok Sabha is a

memorable event in the Indian Parliamentary

history. Daughter of former Deputy Prime Minister and

prominent Dalit leader, Babu Jagjivan Ram, Meira

Kumar will hopefully set new ideals for the post and

present a good role model for the Indian girls.

A non-partisan Speaker is something of a theoretical

construct in party-based parliamentary politics, whether

it may or may not hold in practice. In this regard,

addressing a press conference soon after her election

to Speaker, soft-spoken Meira Kumar promised to be

“entirely impartial” and give opportunities to every

Member of Parliament to have his or her say. She also

asked political parties to rise above party line while

taking part in discussion on issues of national

importance.

Although, mostly the Speaker has to

ensure smooth conduct of the House,

the office acquires special significance

when issues of defection and

disqualification crop up.

Such decision could even turn the

fate of a government also. Ms Kumar

will bring to the dignified office her

years of experience as a member of the

Lok Sabha and as a minister. She

seems to have the desired qualities of

amiability, patience, and a commitment

to fair play.

The election of the nation’s first

woman President two years ago and now the first

woman Speaker indicate a genuine desire towards

women empowerment. In this context, Women’s

Reservation Bill becomes crucial, which has been in

cold store for long.

Let’s pray it may see the light of day with Ms Kumar

in the Chair. Only then, we can proudly say that India is

a land where women are truly respected and held in

high esteem.

At the same time, other women-related issues

cannot be ignored. They are still being treated as a

commodity and often become target of violent crimes.

They should be educated, self-reliant and mentally

strong so that they can participate in nation-building in a

big way.

No doubt, the country has seen many women

excelling in their professional fields, but their number is

few and far between. Therefore, women empowerment

at mass scale is the need of the hour, which will be a

positive indication. We

write to: [email protected]

Woman’s Era ● June (Second) 2009

Matrimonial website

shadi.com’s recent survey

surprisingly revealed that

a very low percentage of

women (less than 30 per

cent) nowadays wish to

have lavish weddings —

otherwise, 70 per cent

women preferred a small

and simple ceremony with

a handful of close relatives and also

consented to court marriages.

As usual, the wedding season is

round the corner with all its

hullabaloo. The pattern of Indian

weddings, in fact, has gone through a

huge transition from the traditional

and simple to a noisy and showy

affair with greater emphasis on

financial allocations and a vulgar

Woman’s Era ● October (First) 2008

?WHAT GOES INTO OUR

MATRIMONIAL

EXTRAVAGANZASdisplay of wealth. Even middle-class

families have not remained

untouched by the uncalled-for

lavishness of the so-called wedding

paraphernalia.

Present-day weddings have

become planned affairs and

specialised wedding planners

manage everything from start to

finish. Their marriage projects include

honeymoon destinations – national

as well as international – venues of

the different ceremonies of marriage,

sumptuous menu — vegetarian and

non-vegetarian with Chinese,

Mexican and other intercontinental

dishes of different flavours —

wedding entertainment with

traditional nach-gana with the dholak

as the main instrument, police and

The multifarious

complexities

of a modern Hindu

marriage

highlighted.

By K. M. Sharma

QWoman’s Era ● June (First) 2009A

&

Does a woman have to pay a higher

premium while taking a life insurance

policy compared to a man?

A woman is always required to

pay a lower insurance premium than

a man. This applies to all insuring

companies.

I may have to give a loan to my sister.

Is cash allowed under the Income Tax

Act? Or, are only cheques allowed? If

cash can be given, how much money

can be extended?

Yes, you can give a cash loan.

But, the amount is restricted to Rs

20,000 only in one year. This is

stated under Sections 269S, 269T

and 269TT of the Income Tax Act.

I intend to take a car loan. But my

desire is to buy hi-fi equipment for

the car also. Would the car financier

provide a loan for the whole amount

including new electronic system?

A car loan is given for the vehicle,

alone. The financier would not extend

money for new equipment

installation.

Should a fixed deposit be opened in

my minor child’s name or must I go in

for a Public Provident Fund scheme?

I am a working woman.

You would be surprised, but a

PPF account is more profitable. If you

invest in a fixed deposit, the child’s

money would be added to your

income every year and taxed. But, in

a PPF option, there is no tax.

How should important financial

documents, like house registration,

car purchase and bank deals, be

preserved?

First, you should keep the original

papers safely and take printouts.

Secondly, have three photocopies

made. Give one copy to your

husband, another to your parents and

retain one for yourself.

What is the daily hospital cash plan,

which has been launched by

insurance companies?

Under a daily hospital cash plan,

you can pay an insurance premium

every month and get cover for each

day spent in a nursing home. For

example, if you buy a plan with Rs

2,000 limit per day and have to stay

10 days in hospital, you get Rs 2,000

x 10 = Rs.20,000, for the entire stay’s

expenses.

How can we find out whether water is

being added to milk?

The simple test is to put a drop of

milk on a polished slanting surface. If

the milk is impure, it would leave a

white trail behind. But, if pure, it won’t

leave a white colour behind.

On several occasions, I find that

though credit card bills were paid on

the last day, the bank charged me

Rs 100 extra. What can be done?

A credit card bill, when paid on the

last day, may invite charges because

the full transactions may have to be

checked. You should pay four days

early by cheque or make an online

payment.

Thus, penal charges of

Rs 100 every time can be avoided.

Is transfer allowance taxed? If some

money remains unspent, what

happens?

No, transfer allowance is not

taxed. But mention unspent amount

in your return.

I have two mobiles but want to use

one for the present. How can the

unused mobile be kept in fine order?

Store the unused mobile in a dry

and cool place. Before that, keep it

charged, not fully, but at 40 per cent.

What are green label gas stoves? Do

they save LPG and, if so, how much?

A green label gas stove is

available from leading oil companies.

Ask for it when you are taking a new

connection or wish to buy another

stove. The green label stove’s

thermal efficiency is 68 per cent,

compared to 64 per cent present in a

normal gas appliance. A Bureau of

Indian Standards certificate is

handed out by oil firms. The green

label gas stove carries a warranty of

three years, compared to one year of

an ordinary gas stove. The green

stove saves five per cent more LPG

than a normal one.

Are there jewellery advantages

which women’s credit cards bestow?

You can get discounts on

jewellery locker fees. There’s a

special discounted rate at which

loans would be given for buying gold.

I want to know whether deodorants

offered at a discount are genuine.

Where the deodorant costing Rs

150 is being given away for Rs 85,

don’t buy. A genuine deodorant is

never offered at such a cheap price.

MONEY MATTERS MONEY MATTERS

Meenakshi Subramaniam

is a former IRS officer, answering all

your money queries, right from income

tax to supermarket shopping.

Mail your queries to:

WOMAN'S ERA,

E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg,

New Delhi-110055.

E-mail your queries to:

[email protected]

AN ETERNAL PROBLEM

Much has been said and written about the

problem of human trafficking in India. Every

year, thousands of children and women

disappear from their homes. Fortunate ones from

among them are traced by the police, which has now

become an epitome of passivity, and restored to their

families. But the grim reality remains that most of these

missing persons are never traced back. And no one

seems to bother about their fate.

Recent disclosure by the CBI Director Ashwini

Kumar highlights another, rather shocking aspect of

this eternal problem. During a two-day seminar in New

Delhi, he disclosed that the holy places of pilgrimage

are also witnessing tremendous increase in the cases

of human trafficking. Among all states, southern coastal

states of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka are leading the

tally in terms of human trafficking and

child- and woman abuses. What is more,

according to the Director, about 85 per

cent of the victims are subjected to

various types of abuses within the

country. In other words, evils of human

trafficking and child- and woman abuse

have taken firm roots in our society and

our own people are indulging in this

heinous crime.

But the irony is that neither our system

nor we are able to identify such criminal

elements. Even if some people are

nabbed, most of them are acquitted for

want of solid proof, as the data of Home

Ministry for 2007 shows. In the year 2007,

total 9861 people were arrested on

charges of human trafficking. But only 3220 could be

convicted and rest were simply acquitted.

And now even religious and pilgrimage places are

turning into safe havens for the human traffickers. If a

report prepared by the Central Government along with

UNICEF is to be believed, these places will soon

become big dens for human traffickers if their activities

are not curbed in time.

Innocent people travel to these places in order to

find solace. But they are completely unaware that their

salvers are themselves need salvation. What else

recovery of empty liquor bottles and used condoms

from the guesthouse of trust managing Tirupati temple

in Andhra Pradesh shows? Who is going to check

these activities? It is generally seen that law

enforcement agencies shun carrying out raids at

religious places lest there could be riots.

But this general apathy on the part of the society,

administration and law-enforcing agencies seems to

embolden anti-social elements at the religious places.

EDITORIALIn light of this, disclosure by the CBI Director, and

also data released by the Home Ministry should act as

the guiding principles for the administration to nip this

evil in the bud. Otherwise, this problem may prove a big

headache for our country in future, when it may be put at

par with such countries where flesh tourism is rampant.

APT RECOMMENDATIONS

Recently, the Central Law Commission

recommended making marriages of NRI boys

with Indian girls mandatory. So far, it is not

statutorily required to get such marriages registered in

the country.

In Indian society, daughters are considered a big

liability in common households. Parents wish to marry

off their daughter as soon as she attains marriageable

age. All the parents want to see their daughters well

settled with their husbands.

Of late, the demand of NRI grooms has

increased many folds in the wedding

market. Boys carrying a tag of ‘settled

abroad’ are much sought after. But sadly,

many parents fail to make thorough

investigation about the prospective boys in

India and abroad due to many constraints.

Understandably, all the parents are not

financially strong to carry out such checks.

But when ultimately the grooms ditch their

wives midway, they find all their dreams

shattered.

The hapless girls find themselves

surrounded by lot of troubles in a foreign

country. In most cases, even the Indian

missions abroad are unable to help such

deserted girls because they have no legal proof that

they are married to so and so person. At the most,

these missions send such girls back to India to be

reunited with their families.

It is no secret how such cases are treated in our

society. People start babbling about such duped,

ditched and deserted girls often driving them to the

point of committing suicide.

New Government under Dr Manmohan Singh has

taken up the country’s reigns. He is a refined person.

Most of his cabinet members are also highly qualified.

Law Commission’s recommendations have come at an

opportune time. The new Government must take up

this issue on priority basis and frame such laws at once

making registration of NRIs’ marriages with Indian girls

mandatory. Only then, a number of girls could be saved

from falling into the clutches of unscrupulous men,

whose sole purpose is to ditch brides in India just to

fulfil their vested interests abroad. We

write to: [email protected]

Woman’s Era ● June (First) 2009

Womens Era Second) 09

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Transcript of Womens Era Second) 09