Women of Women of Strength and Strength and

ResilienceResilienceNational Women’s National Women’s

ConferenceConference

May 2010May 2010

What is resilience?What is resilience?• The capacity to bounce back in the face of adversity• The human capacity to face, overcome, and even to be

strengthened by experiences of adversity (Grotberg, 1999) • Elasticity – ability to bend and rise • Ability to start again

Why is this topic important?Why is this topic important?

• Increase in Mental health problems – Australia and worldwide

• The W.H.O. - depression will the be the number one health issue in the world by 2020. (Depression and Anxiety are linked)

• Need more strategies which focus on wellness, flourishing, resilience, strengths based focus(Mental Health Foundation Centre 2007)

Focuses on Strengths – Focuses on Strengths –

• A shift from focusing on deficits, problems, to

• Believing that people have strengths, competencies, internal and external resources –

*what was helpful in the past – *what resources can be tapped into now?

• Drucker: “Aligning of strengths so that weaknesses become

irrelevant”

Internal & External AssetsInternal & External Assets• 1. Intra-personal – Faith & belief, values,

coping skills, thinking skills, coping strategies, adaptability

• 2. Inter-personal – Positive social skills,family relationships, ability to make friends, belonging, problem solving skills

3. Macro skills - Building connections in the community, utilising community resources. Having a valued role in society – helping, contributing and giving back to the community

3 key skills in building 3 key skills in building resilienceresilience

• Creating a mindset of positivity

• Challenging negative self-talk

• Using the 3:1 Positivity ratio

Mindset of PositivityMindset of PositivityDr Barbara Fredrickson:• Resilient people are able to tap into

positive emotions.• Survival mode of Flight-Fight-Freeze is a

stress response. But staying there with excessive fear/anxiety = narrow vision.

• Mindset of positivity – open, appreciative, kind, curious, being real, self-generating gratitude (Apostle Paul suffered beatings, shipwreck, hunger, chains – but was content – pray with thanksgiving)

Challenge & interrupt Challenge & interrupt negative self talknegative self talk

• Identify the link between self-talk— and feelings and behaviours. We all play "internal radios”

• Negative self-talk can create self-fulfilling prophecies. • Interrupt that process - challenge negative self-talk

and see disappointments from other angles.

A child fails an Algebra exam.

How would you interrupt the negative thought processes?

Ref: The Penn Resiliency Program, University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Center.

Negative self talk “I can’t do maths.”

Feelings: Discouraged

Sad

Behaviour Stops studying maths –

does poorly next exam

Interrupting negative thought Interrupting negative thought processes…processes…

• “Let’s see the answers where you went well…”

• “We just need to do a bit of work on these others…”

• “What would help for the next exam?”

• Emphasis is on the correct answers and positive action plan

3:1 Positivity Ratio3:1 Positivity RatioDr. Barbara Fredrickson:

• The 3:1 Positivity Ratio. "We need three positive emotions to lift us up for every negative emotion that drags us down," Fredrickson.

• Respectful, kind, encouraging words can stop a downward spiral and activate an upward spiral, with increasing satisfaction and happiness.

• This 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions is necessary to generate the uplifting and expanding growth of the "Broaden-and-Build" theory(Frederickson)

……why positive emotions are why positive emotions are important: important:

•opens people’s awareness and creativity•expansive •flexible•become healthier – biochemical changes•better relationships•hope inspires change

Resilience In your familyResilience In your family• Introduce and maintain plenty of

positive activities - comfort, support, encouragement, and play.

• Feeling bad – impatient with kids? - use the 3:1 ratio. Consciously give them three positive messages or actions.

• “I like the way you…”• “Thank you for doing the dishes…”• “Let’s read a page before bed...”Ref: Help Kids Flourish With This 3-1 Ratio by Louise Heart

Is it Biblical?Is it Biblical?

  Paul from his prison and chains said:Phil. 4:6

Do not worry about anything – but in everything by Prayer – contact with Sovereign God

Supplication – humbly petition needs

Thanksgiving - Gratitude

Let your requests by made known to God.

Biblical model – personal messages with Biblical model – personal messages with positive affirmations: positive affirmations:

• Angel said to Daniel: “Don’t be frightened! God thinks highly of you, and he intends this for your good, so be brave and strong.” Dan 10:18-20

• And a voice from Heaven said: “You are my son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased…” Luke 3:22

• Angel to Mary: “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.” Luke 1:28

““the sinful woman…”the sinful woman…”

Case Study – Love & forgivenessCase Study – Love & forgivenessPositive affirmations for the Positive affirmations for the sinfulsinful woman woman

Luke 7:36-50• A Pharisee invited Jesus for dinner. A woman who

had lived a sinful life –brought an alabaster jar of perfume, weeping… Talking to Simon, Jesus said - I came into your house – you did not give me water, but…

• she bathed my feet with her tears• dried my feet with her hair• she has not stopped kissing my feet – poured

perfume on my feet (descriptive praise and affirmation)

• “…her sins have been forgiven – for she loves much..”

• “Your faith has saved you – go in peace.”

Forgiveness is a strengthForgiveness is a strength• Matt 5:23 - if your brother has something against you – reconcile

it before coming to the alter• Our lives are to be acts of worship to God.• Unforgiveness, bitterness can hinder our worship of God and block

other strengths – opposite of positivity (need to let go of negative emotional attachments)

• Pharisees wanted to tithe on mint and cummin – sometimes we

deal out forgiveness like that, measured & legalistic • Jesus said not to forget the weightier matters of the law –

referring back to Micah• Micah – what is it that God requires of us?• Micah 6:8 – to do justly – Love mercy – to walk humbly before God• Micah means – “who is like the Lord?”

Looking for strengthsLooking for strengths• By providing a safe environment for a

person to tell their story - allows their coping capacities & strengths to emerge

• Requires A_ _ _ _ _ listening – Notice their strengths – Encourages the person access new ways of

thinking – action plan

• Adversity leads you down different paths - offers very different opportunities

Build one another up…Build one another up…• We build people up by use of words and body language• What strengths do you see here?

Reframing Reframing Not helpful / Helpful ThinkingNot helpful / Helpful Thinking

Fix your problem Support you through it

Ruminating on the past - worry

Future oriented, letting go,

optimism

End… Beginning…

Deficits Strengths

Never… Not yet…

Always… Sometimes…

I’m a failure… (catastrophising)

Good at many things…

Anxiety Faith, inspiring hope

Shame & self-blame Seek help – linking with supports & resources

Judging Understanding & mercy

Discernment w/out condemning

Take for granted Express appreciation

Fear of unknown Opportunities for growth

Do it for you Do it with you

I don’t know how to help

ASK – would you like some help?

It’s too risky… Dignity of risk – highest learning points when challenged (consider safety)

She’s too slow… I can be patient, value little things.

Stand over Stand back

Disabled Capacity, developmental model – everyone grows

Force Invite, Creativity Adapted - Hoyt M.F. (1994)

Apostle Paul in prison & chainsApostle Paul in prison & chains• Yet uses the word JOY and REJOICING in various forms – 16

times – Study book of Philippians through strengths based eyes

• Looked for strengths in others: (Phil 4:17)• “”” Looking for things to credit to your account…”

Summary – learning from Summary – learning from Paul’s strenghtsPaul’s strenghts

Paul experienced countless floggings, imprisonment, 5 times 40-1 lashes, hunger, thirst, toil, hardship, sleepless nights…. (2 Cor 11:23-29) Yet Paul shows us:

• He had the spiritual strength in Christ to endure trials • We don’t face trials alone – we do so with the Holy Spirit

through Christ in us• Paul wrote incredible letters of encouragement to the

church despite his own hardships• Experienced spiritual joy and rejoicing in Christ• Found strength in Jesus Christ - in His power (II Cor 12:9-10)• Paul had reliance on God to see him through his trial (V.8)• No matter what adversity we face – God’s future for us is

not to be compared with this life

Sharing with partnerSharing with partner• Listen to partner’s story• Actively listen for strengths• Choose 2 – 3 strengths from the

handout