WISCONSIN STA'rE PATROL

VOLUME 6 JULY, 1973 :: . : : ~

NO. 1

'The Safety of Wisconsin's travelers is in the CU$tody of these guardians of the,highways. Named below are some of the Safest Drivers in Wisconsin:

16 yr. - Sgt. Francis J. Honish Tpr. Samuel c. Young

15 yr. - Capt. Howard N. Goetsch Capt. Charles N. Okonek Lt. Jack w. Jorgensen Tpr. Wallace J. Knutson Tpr. David R. Wrecke

10 yr. - Lt. James P. Jeatran

D R I V E R A C C I D E N T

As we begin a new publication year it seems appropriate that we pegin a new feature which will entice you to think about safety behind the wheel of your cruiser, station wagon, sedan or whatever. The purpose behind our procurement of the DAP series is to strengthen our belief~-by enlisting your support--in the proposition that you can better be prepared to cope with an emergency situat~on by having a plan of action in your mind ready for use BEFORE the situation ever arises. By thinking about all of these possibilities, you will have a ready reaction, should an emergency arise. This, we believe, is what defensive driving and accident pre­vention is all apout. You may never need an emergency action plan, but then neither may you ever need catas• trophic insurance! Both a~e a good idea •••••

The first in this series deals with

4 yr. - Tpr. Richard D. Abrahamson Tpr. Rich~rd E. Blood Tpr. James L. Genrich Insp. Robert E. Barnett, Jr.

2 yr. - Tpr. Franklin H. Patterson 1 yr. - Tpr. Floyd T. Branchfield

Tpr. Lee G. Halverson Tpr. William G. Lauder

P R E V E N T I 0 N

an all too common emergency situa­tion, no brakes-suddenly and without warning. It's never happened to me, but it has to a close friend of mine. He told me that there is no other experience like it.

Study this and make it a part of your thinking. We will give you a month to mull the possibilities, talk it over with your friends and associates, then select the correct alternatives. The answers will be published next month. There will be eleven more emergency situations to follow.

HAVE FUN.--Editor. (See Page 4)

(This is a copyrighted feature)

Lt. Tom Price: "These days even the 'yes' men aren't sure!"

NATIONAL FLEET SAFETY CONTEST

Figures released by the National Safety Council this month show that' our fleet is in First ~lace at the end of four months. We rank 1 of the 7 fleets with 3.20 rate with the average rate for our group be-ing 5.45.

AIR-CONDITIONING

Carbon monoxide and other fumes from faulty exhaust or heavy smok-ing in a tightly closed car can · bring on deadly dullness. Have your car's exhaust system checked regularly. Keep a window open, ~t least partially, while engine is running.

INTER-DISTRICT FLEET SAFETY PROGRAM

It seems to be dogged determination that's keeping "Kennelly's Kids" in First Place in the Inter-District Fleet Safety Contest! District #2 is really showing its teeth and fighting for top spot.

Sergeant to Lieutenant:

"How did you know we got that cruiser from District #8, without looking at the Fleet Number?"

2

1973 FLEET ACCIDENTS

JAN FE a MAR APR MAY TOTALS

Hdqrs. 1 0 1 0 0 2 Academy 0 0 0 1 1 2 Dist. 1 4 2 1 3 0 10 Dist. 2 0 0 0 0 1 1 Dist. 3 3 1 2 1 0 7 Dist. 4 0 1 2 2 0 5 Dist. 5 1 0 1 0 0 2 Dist. 6 0 0 1 1 1 3 Dist. 8 2 1 2 1 1 7

TOTALS 11 5 IO 9 4 39 Insp. Tpr. Sgt. Lieut. Capt. Radio Chern. Other

1 1 0 1 0 3 8 4 8 8 2 30 1 0 1 0 1 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Tech. 0 0 0 0 1 1 Tech. 1 0 1 0 0 2

0 0 0 0 0 0

Van Sez: "Make sure you don't let your mouth write a check that the rest of your body can't cash."

R 0 A D R U N N E R Published by the Wisconsin State Patrol

LEWIS V. VERSNIK, Colonel Director, Enforcement Bureau of the

Division of Motor Vehicles

Captain Corwin F. Holmquist EDITOR

Mrs. F'rieda ~1. May COMPOSITOR

Robert White ARTIST

PCO Al Sanders • PCO Harold Skyrud PCO Al Williston. Sgt. VandeZande • Tpr. Robert Zukas Sgt. John Briggs •. PCO Rich Schro.eder. Tpr. Ron Walheim •• Irene Kraut Ellie Lipske' • REPORTERS

District No, 1 District No. 2 District No. 3 District No. 4 District No. 5 District No. G District No. 8 Academy

State Headquarter

THE STEERING COLUMN

After putting mqny hours, day after day for many months on your job, you are ready for a well­earned vacation. '' I hope you make the most of it, find fun

Col. Lew. v. and relaxation for Versnik yourself arid your

family and come back refreshed--and safe. Just to be sure no unpleasant mishap spoils your fun, plan carefully ahead of time, remember all you've learned about finding and eliminating haz­ards, and be as safe-minded on va­cation as you are at work. Make a list of everything you and the fam­ily will need on the trip, including car tools and equipment for the com­mon travel emergencies, flashlight and flares, and a well-stocked First Aid Kit. Have the car serviced pro­perly beforehand. Check the tires, oil change and lube. Don't forget windshield wipers, washers and de­frosters. Check brakes and have them adjusted. Don't overlook all lights and mirrors.

study your maps ahead of time and make special note of the places where you'll change course. It's best not to try reading a map while you're at the wheel, rather than

3

TRAFFIC II D IE-GES'l' II

Facts you can use, from 11 Traffic Safety .. , A National Safety Council Publication.

M OTOR-VEHICl.E deaths in March . 1973 totaled 4,300, an increase of 4 per cent over the March 1972 total of 4,140. This is the highest ever recorded for the month of March.

Deaths for the first three months of 1973 totaled 11,860, no change from the three-month total for 1972 which was the highest · total ever , recorded. Deaths for the 12-month period ending March 1973 totaled 56,300.

Disabling injuries for the first three months of this year are esti­mated at about 420,000. These are injuries resulting in disability beyond the day of the accident, and do not include minor injuries which probably totaled as many more.

The cost of motor-vehicle acci­dents for the first three months of 1973 is estimated at slightly more than $3.3 billion.

that, have a co-pilot check your progress and watch for your turn-off points. Stop driving early each day and get a good rest. Don't overdo it!

Preliminary vehicle mileage esti­mates for 1973 are not yet avail­able. Therefore, no mileage death rates have been calculated for this year.

Leading at the End of March (States a. Ill s with three-month death reduction, 1972 t>s. 1978)

Maine ........ . -45% New Hampshire . . . . . -34% West Virginia . . .. .. . .. .. -26% Hawaii ..................... -23% Utah . . .............. . . . . . . . .. .. -20% Wyoming .................... -19% Colorado .. .. . .. .. . .. . .. .. . ~18% Oklahoma . . ............... -15% Oregon . . . . .... -1!5% Louisiana .. . . .. .. . -13% Washinston .. .. . -12%

Arkansas ........ .. -12% Mississippi .. . . .. . . . . . . . -11% California .. . .. . . . - 9% Georgia . .. .. . . . . . . .. . - 8%

South Carolina ..... ,.. . - 8% ~entucky .. . . .. .. . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . - 7% North Carolina . . . . - 6% Virglnla . .. . . . - 5% Alabama . . . .. .. . .. . . . . .. - 5% Kansas ......................... -'- 5% Ohio ........................ - 3%

DRIVER ACCIDENT PREVENTION

(From Page 1)

Driver Accident Prevention @

PEDAL GOES TO FLOOR •••• NO BRAKES ! If the driver were you .... I think I

what would you do?

With your hands?

4. r (~ ~\ lilA fiA STEER LEFT STEER RIGHT GRIP FIRMLY HOLD LOOSELY

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _jHIFT HEUIR}l -f--· SHIFT LOW SHIFT REVIRSE SHIFT PARK

~ ~~ ) ) '\. . ·~·-

5

6

/fiW SWIRVE

fP/0 SHIFT DRIVE

ki U 1 I U ~ •. L.I ll U LJ

• _ _5lG~AL_RIG~T • _S!_GNAL~E_f!_ ~!!>_P-~!_DN&OfF '--'-·BLOWHORH

"·' 1961 by Vllval Oynamlcs,'lne., Brightwaters, Haw York. DA.P SERIU No. 2~1;1 1

ID!

4

Major Charles Litkey

BEHIND THE WHEEL

It's only natural for a person to try to pack as much fun as possible into the seemingly short weeks of vacation, but the soundest advice I can offer all of you, as the vacation season approaches, is this: "Don't overdo it."

Military authorities upon analyzing the record of traffic accidents in­volving their enlisted men, found that the greatest number of fatali­ties and· serious injuries occurred when they were returning to their bases from annual leave.

We have often jokingly referred to our return to work following vacation as "coming back to work to rest up". Well, it is my fervent hope that each of you will not hang up your safety consciousness in the closet with your regular work clothes. Come back ref+eshed--and safe.

John Horak: "Most of us know how to say nothing Few of us know when."

One of 50 drivers approaching you is drunk. One of eight drivers has a blood-alcohol count in varying amounts. A drinking driver is a dangerous driver.

SO YOU KNOW WISCONSIN?

All right, no "cheati11g" now, tell me in what county this location is, and what are the predominant high­ways" (Answer next month)

(Last month you probably recognized ·right off the bat Highways 78, 81 and 176 in LaFayette County).

BRAINBUSTER

The answer to June's problem goes as follows:

"Willie must have worked 16-2/3 days and idled 13-1/3 days. Thus, the former time at $8 per day amounts to

exactly the same as the latter at $10 per day." (We got one response from Dist. #4, but it was unsigned).

Gateway's Employees' Newsletter was the source for July's feature, and we present it with somewhat tongue-in­cheek.

5

GET INTO THE P/CTU~C I

i'RIPAR£0 AV Tilt INifRNATIONAl A$SIICIATION Of IIUSINISS COMMIINIGA!IliiS IN Clllll'fRATION Wllll111t HIOHWAY UsrRS FfDtRATION

Exactly . how smart do you think you are? (Editor's note: Here·.~ a would you light first?

u•hiz quiz .fiJI' all Gatell'ay 5. Some months have emploiJes to fest fhemse(f'on. thirty days, some have 31. Answe/'8 appear· on paue :J.) How many have 28?

1. If you want to go to 6. A man builds a house bed at 8:00 and set the alarm with four sides to it and it is to get up at 9:00 in the morn- rectangular in shape. Each ing, how many hours of sleep side has a southet·n exposure. would this permit you to A big bear comes wandering have'? by. What color is the bear?

2. Do they have a 4th of 7. I have in my hand two July in ~ngland? U. S. coins which total 55

:t Why can't a man liv- cents in value. One is not a ing in Winston-Sal('m, N.C., nickel. Please hear this in be buried west of the Mis- mind. What arc the two siHsippi? coins?

4. If you had only one 8. A farmer had 17 sheep match, and entered a room in All but nine died. How many which there was a kerosene were left? lamp, an oil heater, and a 9. Take two apples from l v,.~ood burning stove, which- three apples ann what do you

have? 10. Divide 30 by '12, add 10.

What is the answer? 11. An archeologist claims

he found some gold coins dated 46 B. C. Do ~·ou think he did? Why?

12. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the Ark with him?

13. Is it legal for a man to marrv his widow's sistl'r?

14.' If Bah~· Bull misbe­hav(~M, does he go to Papa Bull or Mama Bull for Pun­ishment?

15. A plane crashes on the border bet\veen the

· U. S. and Mexico. In what country must the survivors he buried?

(Answers on Page 7)

GO TO ACCIDENT SCENE ON STATE ROAD H, J MilE$ EAST

OF HIGHWAY 62 JUNCTION.

How close is too close? ---This is too close:

ATTEMPT ON TROOPER'S LIFE FOILED BY MISFIRE

6

Trooper RICHARD J. JOZWIAK (lafayette) stopped a speeding car on 1-65 near lafayette that he had clocked at 115 mph. While the trooper was seated in tho patrol car writing the citation, the driver walked to the side of the patrolcar and placed a .25 caliber auto· matic against the left side of Jozwiak's head. The accused ordered him to remove his service revolver and hand it to him. As Jozwiak handed the gun to the accused he grabbed the gun hand of the accused and a struggle ensued. The accused backed up one step and pulled the trigger. The weapon misfired and Trooper Jozwiak fired one shot striking the accused. The accused stepped back about two more steps and, with both hands attempted to fire again, twice more it failed. The trooper then fired again fatally wounding the accused. No reason could be established for the attempt on the trooper's life. The accused was a soldier stationed at Ft. Knox, Kentucky with a home address in Pittsboro, Ind. The car was registered to him and he was on authorized leave, however he had been drinking.

Indiana S.P. Newsletter

Unless Trooper Al Asp contacts his foreign correspondent over there in the Black Forest, we've seen the last of our German cartoons, becuz this month's QUICK cartoon runs out the series. If you can't imagine what the punch line says, turn to Page 7 for Trooper Asp's clever (if not accurate) and contempor­ary translation.

,Brlngt entschleden mehr eln als die ewige Herumfahrerei"

CHILDREN OF THE 20TH CENTURY

PREPARED BY THE INTERNATIONAl ASSOCIATION OF BUSINESS COMMUNICATORS IN COOPERATION WITH THE HIGHWAY USERS FEDERATION

Dockendorf: "What did the elephant do when he broke his big toe? 11

Gunderson: "I dunno, what? 11

Dockendorf: "He called the big tow truck!"

Old Sol makes wrinkles The American Medical Association says that the deep suntan you worked so hard to acquire last sum­mer probably didn't do you much good and may in fact have been harmful.

Aside from the psychological lift of sporting a fancy tan, your only benefit was the formation of vitamin D, already amply supplied in the American diet, says the AMA.

But continued tanning brings gradual changes in the blood vessels, the connective skin tissue degener­ates, wrinkles form and the skin tex­ture coarsens. Freckle-like dark spots appear and these can sometimes be the start of skin cancer, say medical experts.

Steve Rosenbalm: "Stay awake! You might get something for nodding."

Wings safer than hoofs You've heard that, on the basis 'of. fatalities per 100,000,000 miles of travel, motorcycles are more danger­ous than automobiles and travel by auto is not as safe as on a scheduled airliner.

By digging up some figures on horse travel back in 1909 and the number of fatal accidents involving horses or horse-drawn vehicles that year, then comparing his numbers with those referring to modem air­liner travel, a statistician has re­cently concluded that an airline passenger is at least 60 times safer than was the guy on horseback or in the horsedrawn vehicle.

Just thought you'd like, to know.

German Cartoon: brings in mqre than driving".

11 This money

WHY DO ELEPHANTS

GROW so Bl6?

7

YOUR UNIFORM AND APPEARANCE

CREATE, AN IMAGE

WHAT YOU SAY AND HOW YOU SAY IT

ALSO CREATES AN IMAGE.

Jan thought you'd like this:

SAFETY ROPE- WHEN OTHER SYSTEMS FAIL·

AUTOMATIC HIGH-VOLUME "WHOA"-

BIRD·C/IGE MASK & -.- __ SAFETY GOGGLES

HEAD LIGHTS

PRESCRIPTION SAFETY ---""'<('' GOGGlES TO INSURE HORSES GOOD VISION.

GRAB-RAIL -------~ SAFETY SWITCHES &-''HOT

TO INSURANCE COMPANY

4 WHEELS ----­TO KEEP llORSE

·UPRIGHT IN CASE HE SLIPS--'

· HENCE NOT ENDANGERING THE RIDE'Ri

HARO HAT WITH WID~ BRIM /&-EAR PROHGWK:;

."PAVDI.O IJ/ICK ~I Ill

. &HEAD RESTRAINT

F..PA ~MI5~10Nti

CONTROl SY~TI M

Cowboy after O.S.H.A.

EXACTLY HOW SMART DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Answers to Gateway whiz ·quiz · Answers to whiz quiz

that appeared on page 5:

(1) one hour. (2) Yes. (:~) Be­-~ause he isn't dead. (4) The match. (5) All of thPm. '(6) White-it's on thiJ North Pole. (7) A fifty _cent piece and a nickel-one isn't a nickel but ~he other one is. (8) Nine. (9)

Two apples. (10) 70. (lll No. Nothing dated B. C. until aft­er Christ died. (12) None. It was Noah. (13) No. H" is dead. (14) Papa Bull - there is no Mama Bull. (15) Sur­vivors aren't dead.

Scoring. 13 correct, genius; 11 excellent; 8 normal; 5 sub­normal; 3, idiot.

8

One of the latest immigrants may not be too welcome be­fore long! The u.s. Dept. of the Interior describes the colorful Mon~ P~rrot--a resident from Bolivia, Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina--as a destroyer and

damager of corn sorghum, sunflower, cit­rus and other fruits. Imported as a cage bird, this species was inadvertently released to our northern climates when an entire crate broke open at Kennedy Airport. In 1971 the breeding cycle haq changed and the bird began propagating in it's new environment. The birds have been seen in New York, Michigan, North Dakota and Virginia.

Platform shoes worn by women are a hazard to their wearers when driving, accorQ.ing to safety experts. The thick soles on the shoes create an unnatural situation when moving the foot from the accelerator to the brake in an emergency situation-­or, one in which quick action may be re­quired--the foot can get hung up causing delay in braking action which well coulq lead to unpleasantness •• ,.

In some small northwest Iowa communities, the city fathers have pqssed ordinances against the practice of "Milling" and posted official traffic signs stating, "No Milling". Why? Well, the younger set would drive up and down the streets so close together that no other drivers could get into the traffic pattern or cross the street. So, now, three times up and down the street and they nail you for "milling", and let that be a lesson to you! (Thanks, Iowa State Tpr. Jim Bonnstetter for the scoop on this--Eo.)

In Brighton, England a motorist was charged with driving his car at a traffic policeman. "He was standing there with a smirk on his face and it al;'oused me," said the motorist. He was fined $75. (It's not a deadly weapon unless some~ one's dead?)

Secretaries abolished in Montgomery County, Maryland! To combat what ne calls sex discrimination, the county executive has ruled that from tnis day forward, they shall be called ''administrative aides" and they will be given added responsibilities to go .along with a tidy pay increase of from $992 to $1,443 per year! (Now if those women could just figure out some way to force their hubbies to b~ar the children •••• )

A 75-year old gentleman from Chicago claims he has the hottest car in the city. He's owned the '65 chevy two years and it has been stolen 4 times already. According to the police report, he was "careless", and the last time it was taken was just 2 days after recovery from the third theft. (Is there a difference be­tween Careless and Stupid?)

Captain Jerry Lacke calls our atten­tion to the sage words of Dr. Keith Davis, Professor of Management at Arizona State University, who has made an extensive study of office grapevines and who says that there is "high truth coptent" in the grape­vine. The professor goes on to state that well over three-fourths of grapevine information is accurate. And, not only that, the thing is amazingly fast, too. Dr. Davis noted that smart managers monitor the grapevine and feed it information they want distributed.

FITCHBURG FROLICS

• •• or, what Major got a ·'n~W11

hammock :for his guestw ••• ----

TROOP TALK

FROM TH~ "JUNEAU COUNTY CHRONICLE OF MAUSToN:

"TAKE THAT GERVASE--STAT TROOPER GERVASE THOMPSON SAT DOWN WITH US TO HAVE LUNCH AT A LOCAL EATING ESTABLISHMENT THE OTHER DAY. WHEN ORDERING A CHEF 1S SALAD, HE ADDEO: 1tEAVE OUT THE TOMATOES, EGGS AND CUCUMBERS,' WHICH PRETTY MUCH LEFT JUST LET~ TUCE AND HAM.

THE WAITRESS TOOK THE ORDER TO THE KITCHEN AND MOMENTS LATER CAME BACK AND SAID, 1THE COOK WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WANT ANY LETTUCE WITH THAT' •"

ARLENE Kl RCHESH, WHO CLAIMS THAT SHE IS AN OLD­FASHIONED GIRL, SAYS THAT THE MODERN GIRL IS ONE WHO DRESSES TO KI\L--ANO COOKS THAT WAY, TOO •••••••

LIEUT. JERRY BLIED GAVE THIS TO US WITH THE COM­MENT THAT IT "LOOKS LIKE THEY HAVE A UNIQUE STEP 4 GRIEVANCE:

f. Poli~': Officer Shoots .Jiis Chief

-9-

TPRo TOM ENOS AND HIS DA WENT FISHING ON THE MISSISS

1PPI ·NEAR ONALASKA ON JUNE 8TH, BUT ClOSE TO NOON HAD

TO BEACH THEIR BOAT AND TAK COVER UNDER IT TO AVOID A 2-HOUR HEAVY RA·I N • HOW DID TH~ BITE UNDER THIE BOAT, TOM. • " • • •

AN OLD RECURRING BACK PROBLEM FINALLY GOT TO LT. JIM JEATRAN AND HE HAD TO UNDERGO CORRECTIVE SURGERY.

SIX DAYS AFTER HAVING TWO DISCS DISSOLVED BY EN­ZYME SURGERY AT MADISON GENERAL HOSPITAL,· HE WAS BACK HOME AGAIN. THEY TELL US THAT THE PAIN 'IS EXCRU­CIATING. HOW YOU OOING 11 JIM?•••••••

CAR 800, ALIAS OLD BENT ANTE~NA 11 MADE FRONT PAGE OF THE 'SPOONER ADVOCATE" WITH A PICTURE STORY ABOUT THE NEW MICRO•WAVE DISH ATOP TH SPOONER RADIO TOWER:

. . niv 1Jp THERt: •· Two r,rien are .hardly .visible as they inatall a i.!u·ge micro~~ wave "dish" atop the 263 ·,foot State Patrol radio to.wer at the headqua~rs south of Spooner. They are· 1 M~lvin Ecklund and Glen Ogel of the o:~.,;Tower Service 9f l;>eri:Qns. The ~'disb',', 10, feet in dUnn4iter, is a new flnJc,in the micro· wave tfilJ~Smitter . network being ' in-· s~ll~ OJ\ over 30 towers in the s.w. gtving the '. P·atrol a ~ry . communications. ~y­s~J\\1ij) Madison. Norman Walk~ ei, ~-.,PQC>nrr, comtunica~!o~ .. ~ ~I) .w

1 t1j tl> . ._e.~ r.Ql, a$S{il k

':~ in msta ling lhe new equ P· anent. , ' ' ·

YOU WILL NOTE THAT THE CAPTION REFERS TO TWO MEN 0 THE TOWER--YEP! OLD 800 IS SMART- HE KEEPS BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND. ,. • •• •

THIS IS THE WAY THE TRUCKERS REFER TO US--ALL 0 us:

ArTER SEVERAL HOURS OF QUESTIONING, DICK BERGER ADMITTED TO CATCHING ABOUT 94.TROUT SO FAR THIS SEASON@

INSIDE JOKE: DONALD BLOEDOW, CHIEF'OF DOT rlEET ALWAYS INSISTS ON HAVING A REGISTERED NURSE APPLY THE BAND-AID TO HIS OWIE •• ®

DI~T. 11 1S EYE-IN-THE­SKY, HAROLD BURTON, BOASTS OF HAVING CAPTURED A 9k-LB. LAKE TROUT ON A RECENT SATURDAY FISHING EXCURSION WITH TPR. JIM AUSLOOS. THE YARN WENT ON TO SAY THAT THEY COMBINED FOR 7 ALTO­GETHER, OFF ALGOMA, ABOUT THREE.MILES OUT AND IN 90 TO 110 rEET OF WATER.

THIS WAS NOTICED, ON A BUMPER-STICKER DISPLAYED BY THE GUY. THAT TROOPER GARY SCHUMANN NAILED FOR SPEEDING:

"I MAY BE S\yOW, BUT I 1M AHEAD Or YOU •

INSP. CANTWELL CLIPPED IT FROM NATIONAL OBSERVER:

)

'C' moo, Marilynf . I

MARn.YN McElhany, a Nevada . ·HJ.ghway. . Patrol radio dis·

' · patcher In Reno tor five years, hop­ed to become the force's first woman patrolman. She and 60 men toOk a written exam for patrolmen, and she

. passed easlly. The 32-yea·r-old divorc­ed mother ot two also went 1 n to training tor the physical t e s t s. They Included a 44()-yard run, puah ups, sit ups, jump­Ing, and two pull­ups from a hanging start.

T h e pull-ups were her downfall.

"They gave me the same chance they gave the guys," she says, "but I just couldn't do lt. The boys were all very nice, alld while I was hang­ing there on that bar they were shouting, 'C'mon, Ma·rllyn, you can do lt.J'

"But I couldn't. I guess glrls just don't have muscles in the right

·places." . _:_PARRY D. SORENSEN

Salt Lake Olty

-10-

RECEIVED WELCOME NEWS FROM SGT. JOHN BRIGGS, DIST. VI, WHO INFORMED ME THAT • HE WILL BE BACK AT THE NEWS DESK AGAIN, PUMPING DIST. VI HAPPENINGS IN TO THE R-n· JOHN ALSO BRAGGED A BIT:

NOT REALLY WANTtNG TO QRAG ABOUT IT, BUT--SGT. JOHNSON ~JUNKER} & MYSELF RE­CEIVED NOTICE FROM CENTRAL MISSOURI

OVERHEARD AT THE BAIT SHOP:

SNAPPER GILBERTSON': 11 HOW MUCH IS THAT 'BAIT WoRTH?"

PUSHER! "ALL YOU WANT FOR ONE DOLLAR."

SNAPPER: "o.K., GIVE ME TWO DOLLARS WORTH.n

SGT. "suo" MILLER IS LOOKING LIKE HIS OLD SELF AGAIN. BUD HAD QUIT THE CIGARS FOR AWHILE, BUT AFTER HIS FIRST INITIA~ TION INTO REALM OF TROOPER EVALUATIONS

--------------------.HE GAINED A FEW GRAY HAIRS AND tfENT RIGH'!

BACK TO THE STOGIES! BUD SEZ, IT WAS

STATE UNIVERSITY THAT WE MADE THE DEAN's LIST FOR THE SPRING TERM, WITH 4.0 GRADE AVERAGES AT THE TRAFFIC ADMINisTRATION COURSE. WE EACH RECEJVED A LETTER OF COMMENDATION F.(ROM THE PRESIDENT OE T~E UNIVERSITY! --HOW SWEET IT IS--to.)

A RECENT LETTER TO DIST. NO. I COM­MENDED TPR. DON JACKSON S SENSE OF HUMOR AND ABILITY TO SELL:

NEVER LIKE THAT IN PRAIRIE DU CHEIN!"

ITEM FROM A RECENT OSHKOSH NEWSPAPER:

UNDER "MAIUfAGE LICENSES" WE SAW THIS PA I R OF NAMES,

L. E. ~EIER, OSHKOSH EVA G41 KNUDSEN, OSHKOSH

so, THE GRAPEVINE WAS CORRECT•••••

"AT THIS POINT STILL NOT GETTING EX• CITED AT ME, HE WANTED TO SEE MY DRIVER LICENSE TO FILL OUT THE WARNING TICKET. I POLITELY HANDED IT TO HIM AND HE LOOKED IT OVER AND STARTED TO LAUGH. MOST IRISH PEOPLE ARE FUNNY, BUT lAUGH­ING AT MY LICENSE RAISID A CONCERN. HE ASKED IF I RECENTLY HAD A BIRTHDAY AND t NOT TO BE OUT-DONE BY nAIR In, DIST. ANSWERED VES 1-•HE THEN SAID THAT I WAS IV'S EVE IN THE SKY, DENNIS SCHROEDER, DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSE SINCE MY BIRTH· SHOWED THAT HE HAS SUPER-SIGHT AND DAY. MY HEART STOPPED--NO LICENSE PLATE HEARING. NO DRIVER LICENSE--HERE I WAS HEADED FOR IN ONE DAY OF FLVING1 HIS MIXED BAG THE DANE COUNTY SLAMMER••••••" INCLUDED ONE ILLEGAL PASSING, TWO RECK-

WELL, THE UPSHOT OF IT WAS THAT DON LESS DRIVING, TWO IMPROPER LEFT TURN, JACKSON TOLD THE GUY TO GET HIS HOUSE IN ONE EXPIRED D/L, ONE I MPROPEf~ MUFFLER ORDER, THE'. GUY DID AND IS IN FULL COM- AND ONE ARTERIAL. MIGHT MENTION THAT HE PLIANCE. WHAT MORE COULD BE FAIRER? HAD HELP FROM KITTEL AND BRANCHFIELD!

I N MEMORIAM .... -------~

WITHIN ABOUT TWO WEEKS OF EACH OTHER, BOTH OF liEUTENANT ARNIE BUZA 1S PARENTS PASSED AWAY DURING THE MONTH OF MAY, IN MILWAUKEE.

HERMAN LARSON, FATHER OF TROOPER DON LARSO~ WAS LAID TO FINAL REST AT RIVER­SIDE CEMETERY BLACK RIVER FALLS ON MAY THE 29TH,.

OVER. IN DIST. VIII, DENNIS ALONG WITH ZACH AND ZIEMER, GOT FIVE ILLEGAl PASS ... ERS, AND ONE NO SPEEDOMETER IN ADDITION TO THE SEVEN SPEEDERS THEY LOGGED IN. WE'RE· NOT SUGGESTING COMPETITION, BUT THE AIR ARM IS WORKING--LETS HEAR IT

n n FOR THE MOTHS • • • • • • ·

HOW CAN A GUY PASS A DIFFiCULT SGT. EXAM AND THEN(RUN)OUT OF GAS? THE WORST PART FgR HIM 526 WAS THAT OUR ROAD RUNNE~ REPORTER UP THERE IN FIVE HAD TO BE TWE ONE TO COME TO THE RESCUE WITH THE PETROL•••••••••••• ·.

WORD RECEIVED IN MID-JUNE FROM DISTe THAT TROOPER JIM FRIEDEL 1S FATHER HAD PASSED AWAY. COMMUNICATIONS TECH ROYAL FRIEDLAND

HAS BEEN VERY ILL.t EXPECTS TO ·BE OFF WE OFFER OUR SYMPATHY TO THE FAMILIES. WORK FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.

THIS RELEASE FROM CAPTAIN KENNELLY OF' ANYONE INTERESTED IN IMPROVING THEIR DIST. 11: VOCABULARY SHOULD BE AROUND WHEN RDO.TECH

SERGEANT GARLAND SPRATZ AND INSPECTOR GLEN CARTIER HAS TO. REPLACE AN ANTENNA JEROME J. KARL BOTH RECEIVED ASSOCIATE TWICE CUTS HIS HAND AND BREAKS A FINGER-DEGREES IN POLICE SCIENCE FROM THE MIL- NAIL fN THE PROCESS. HE CAN REALLY CUT WAUKEE AREA TECHNICAL COLLEGE. THEY WERE THOSE .WORDS OF WISDOM •.• • •••• GRADUATED ON MAY 31, 1973 -·-·---------------

-11-

ALMOST LIKr A BIRTHDAY IT WAS WHEN INSP. BOB GOHRE GOT PROMOTED FROM JUST PLAIN OLD FIREMAN TO LIEUTENANT ON THE MC FARLAND FIRE DEPARTMENT--HE S SERVED WITH THE FIRE-EATERS FOUR YEARS ~NO THE ANNIVERSARY DATE IS JULY 2 ••••...

OFF THE GROUND AGAINt CARL ZUTZ WILL BE FLYING WEST TO REPRESENT THE BUREAU AT THE SECOND ANNUAl AUTO SAFETY CONGRESS IN FRISCO ON THE 16TH & 17TH OF JULY. ABOUT 400 OF THE WORLD 1S FOREMOST AUTHORITIES ON MOTOR VEHICLE SAF'E"fV HAVE BEEN INYITEO TO PARTICIPATE \INCLUDING CARL)o•••••••

GET A LOAD OF Fast on the Draw. THIS lITTLE GEM Florida Highway Patrolman Jim S N I P P E D 0 UT A NO Ivey dragged his bleeding leg to his M A ll ED 1 N BY 1 NS P patrol Q!lr and radioed for help. c A NTWELL • Three 1ol1ghairec.t motorcycle riders

I T 1 8 B"' D E N u~ had jumped him, Ivey said, kicked

,., r and beat him, stole his gun, shot BE 1 NG A ROTT!N hlm in the tl!lgh, and roared ,away. SHOT BUT A SELF- Eventually, however, xvey owned

' · up to hav~ been taking pOt shots at I NF ll CTE 0 SUS PEN- a 'l'abblt along the roadSide ·and oo S I ON IS GOING TOO have accidentally shot hitnself ln the F' .. R leg when he returned his pisool to

,., • • • • • • his bolster.lvey .was suspended from the patrol. He missed the rabbit.

. -C..RlCK EYERDAM

T.f\fln~~. F.ltJ. ' . : , . ,

. AGAIN, FOR THE ROC~ING CHAIR SET, WHO OON 1T GET THE SPECIAL ORDERS, HERE IS SOME OF THE LATEST SCOOP:

TPR. DoN AYERS,. TPR.II FROM D I ST VI IS RESIGNING TO ACCEPT A JOB IN DEALER SECT

JIM JACOBSON, TPR. II DIST. VIII HAS RESIGNED TO TRY ~RIVATE BUSINESS.

NORM WARNER, PCO Ill OF' OIST. IV HAS RESIGNED.

ELDON COLE, PCO II IS ON A MEDICAL LEAVE, HAQ SOM~ SURGERY ON ARTERIES ETC. . MERLIN \TOBY) ROSS, INSP 11, DISTIll

HAS EXTENDED HIS MEDICAL LEAVE TO THE END OF THE YEAR, 1973.

FREDDIE DASHNER, PCO II TRANSF'ERREO BACK TO DIST. 11.

11 HEY, MA, LOO~ AT THE PRETTY FOREST RANGERs,". WAS WHAT ONE KID SAID WHEN HE SAW TPRS. RON IRISH, TERRY KNUTSON AND MIKE VAN KEUREN AT THE RECENT DIST. V DEDICATION--THE GUYS WERE ALL DOLLED UP IN THEIR CLASS ~'s. WEhL, AT LEAST HE DIDN'T CALLYOU SMOKIES •••••••

When a teenager mentions peanut butter and jelly these days, you are11't sure whether he's discussing food or a new singing group.

---------------------DENNIS FREDRICK, 17-YEAR OLD

SON OF SGT, BIll A NO SUE FRED­RICK, EARNED A SECOND PLACE TROP»V IN THE N1COLET AREA

COUNCIL EXPLORER ROAD RALLY FOR 1973. THERE WERE 20 ENTRIES IN THE RAlLY., THE COURSE WAS RUN AROUND THE GREEN BAY AREA TAKING IN SOME 120 MILES., •••••

AFTER VIEWING A DEMONSTRATION PUT ON BY MARV ZARLING, LEN CERNY AND RUSS SELBO OF THE ELECTRIC CO. DOWN THERE AT THE IRON RIDGE FIRE DEPARTMENT, TROOPER JIM AUSLOOS RECOMMENDS SUCH AN ORIENTA­TION FOR All OF OUR PEOPLE.

THE SHOW CONSISTED OF A VERY INFORMA­TIVE SET OF INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW WE, AS POLICE OFFICERS, SHOULD WORK WITH ELECTRIC liNES WHEN CALLED UPON TO DO SO IN EMERGENCY CASES.

THAT WALLY GOEPFERT DID IT AGAIN--HE

:~~~P~~~RN~~RP~NgR 1 ~l~ ~FR;~~ ~~~~ORO LOOK HERE!

W,H A T T H E Y ' R E S A y I N G With~n 20 years, w~ will all be stark

naked, The streets will oe ·climatized and ' if they are not, we' 11 wear something, a ·

belt or a necklace' which will cli~a tize our bqdy heat individually,"

Editor's Note: - PIERRE CARDIN .

Such prognostications have·been circulating for at least a hundred years - probably by geeks so obsessed with sex and bare bodies that they don '·t realize they are not talking pr6gress but retrogression. Man - over the ages- covered his body as·much for adornment as warmth. Nothing could be more horrible than to be forced to face a world of fat asses and protruding bellies - bony knees and sagging breasts. The small percentage of beautiful bodies of both sexes - just isn't large enough to make universal nudity attractive,

• INSIDE JOKEr THIS IS

WHAT CAPT. HOLMQUIST BlURTED OUT WHEN DICK RECHLICZ CALLED ON HIM TO ACCEPT A PLAQUE FOR THE PATROL 1S PAR­TICIPATION IN ROADEO!

. I. . ·.. . --RIGHT' GOOD INSP. CHAZ .. YAEGER'??

GRIEF!

PCO ELDON COLE HAS UNDERGONE EXTENSIVE VEIN SURGERY AND AT PRESENT IS RECUPERA­TING AT MADISON GENERAL HOSPITAL, ROOM NOo 807. ELDIE CLAIMS THAT IN A FEW DAYS HE SHOULD BE FEELING WELL ENUF TO CHAS/E THE NURSERS AROUND THE HOSPITAL AND OR SIGN UP NEW UNION MEMBERS•••••

THIS ONE IS rOR THE B I RDS--0 MAYBE WE HAVE A CANDIDATE rOR THE M~ANEST MAN IN WAUKESHA:

LT. JACK JORGENSEN HAS DIS­COVERED A NEW METHOD FOR PICKING UP NIGHT-CRAWLERS.

HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO COLLECT WORMS FOR FISHING AND DECIDED TO SPRINKLE HIS GRASS ONE EVENING.., HE NOTICED ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER THAT THE ROBINS WERE HAVING

HOW ABOUT OUR NEW PATROL BRATS!

THE TPR. JERRY HALBLEIBS HAVE A SON, ANDREW J .. , BORN APRIL 10TH AT SACRED HEART, WEIGHED IN AT 8LBS AND 5 oz.

THE BLACKS--TPRo JOE AND PHYL--ADDED A GIRL TO

THE BLACK rAMILY ON JUNE 16TH AT 6:54 A.M. ANN-MARIE WEIGHED 6LBS AND 9oz WHEN SHE ARRIVED AND MEASURED 20~ INCHES u

CONGRATULATIONS, MOMS AND DADS!

A HEYDAY PULLING THEM OUT. THEN CAME TH SOME VACATIONS IN PROGRESS: TPR. LIGHT! THE LIEUTENANT WOULD HIDE BEHIND MERLE NEUMAN WENT NORTH, IN EDMONTON, A BUSH WAITING rOR THE ROBINS TO PULL A ALBERTA, CANADA; CRAWLER FROM THE GROUND. JUST AS THE ----,-----WORM WAS OUT OF THE GROUND, HE WOULD RUN INSP. ED. ROBERTS TAKING THREE WEEKS OUT AND SCARE THE ROBIN AWAY, LEAVING rO.R A TRIP OUT TO THE STATE Or OREGON; THE WORM LAYING ON THE GRASS WHERE HE COULD EASILY PICK IT UPo JACK SAID IT WORKED REAL WELL UNTIL HIS KIDS SAID HE W4U~ BEING UNF"AIR TO THE BIRDS, AND THEY MADE HIM QUIT •••••

YOU CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING SECRE~ IN DIS 5. THE NEXT TIME STETSONS ARE RENOVATED SOMEBODY HAD BETTER PLEASn MARK ONE FOR TPR. BOB ZUKAS WHICH SEZ THIS END FOR­WARD"., ZUKE WAS SEEN MAKING A STOP ON A CLEAR SUNNY QAVt WITH HIS STETSON ON BACKWARD! {c'MoN, ~UKE, ~VEN SMOKEY THE BEAR WEARS HIS RIGHT.--EO.}

DISTRICT IV DID IT AGAIN--TPR. DON ENGEL, THIS TIME, WON THE SMITH & WESSON REVOLVER AT THE WlEOA CONVENTION AT APPLEToN .. N0 9 IT WAS NOT ON THE BASIS OF' HIS HAVING SHOT THE BEST SCORE--HE WON IT AS A DOOR PRIZE, IT WAS A DRAWING.,

A rAREWELL PARTY WAS HELD AT INSPECTOR WILLIE THOMAS' RESIDENCE FOR THE OIST .. IV PCO 111, NORM WARNER, WHO HAS RESIGNED ~ROM STATE SERVICE TO GO INTO PRIVATE BUSINESS.,

RETIRED CAPTAIN HOWARD ~UHRMANN HAS DEPARTED WAUSAU ~OR TWO MONTHS UP IN . THE 50TH STATE (ALASKA??)--OR IS IT THE 49TH? ANYWAY THAT 1S WHERE HE WENT.,

SGT., HAROLD SPURGIN SHOULD HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM! HE HAS TROUBLE WITH DEER FORAGING INTO HIS GARDEN. SO HAROLD MADE A SCARE-DEER SCARECROW, ~ELT IT WAS A MASTERPIECE, BECAUSE NO SOONER DID HE LET TH~ DO.G OUT THAN THE DOG TORE OFF A LEG. {AND WE TRAVEL 400 MILES FOR O~ER AND SOMETIMES DON'T EVEN SEE ONE--EO)

TPR~ BILL HARRIS GOING INTO THE HOSPITAL AT MARSHFIELD rOR TREATMENT OF AN ULCER, THEN HE EXPECTS TO UNDERGO SURGERY so 1s HE CAN JOIN THE PERFECT CIRCLE CLUB., • • • •

DON SENO RETURNED rROM AUTO THE~T CONF~RENCE INA RIZONA WITH A. BIG BLACK & Bt.UE SPOT--HE AND MAR I AN WERE OUT TAKING PHOTOS, WHEN "A CACTUS BfT HIM11

• HE WAS BEl NG CAREFUL TO WATCH FOR SNAKES .. CLAIMED HE KICKED A CACTUS WITH HIS RIGHl

FOOT AND SIX SPIKES HIT.HIM ON THE LE~T LEG JUST TO GET EVEN•••••

1-'\. NEW METtiOD OF TRAFFIC CONTROL is now being used su~cessfully in northern. THIS IS THE CAPTION FROM A ~ICTURE WHICH APPEARED IN THE 1DAILY PRESS" Or ASHLAND WIS., ON WEDNESDAY, MAY ~THe

Wisconsin by tho Sta~e High'N<lY Patrol that presents a new dimension for the apprehvnsion of traffic vioiiltors. lt h called aerial traffi<; law enforcement and is useful in spotting any tj.pc of traffic viol.1tion while ~cilnning several miles of highway from the air.

. Lnst Sund:~y, ~late troopers William Miller, Ladysmilh, left anrJ Maynard Teigen, Prentice, rig hi, tum:cd up with n. surveill::1ncc plane piloted by Dennis Schroeder, Wausau, center ;,nJ viu two-way radio communication to put the finger on tt,e suspect, effectively coHcclr:d .Jn assortnv~11t of tn:1 rfic violators on <.1 stretch of state highway 13 between Fifield ancl Phillips. Most ot ~be cit<Jtions v:ere for spe.:>ding or illegal passing but one motorist spotted driving errlllic.:~lly was ragged for be!ng under the influenc€! of liquor and another

·for (would you believe) littering.

THAT ONE LITTERING ARREST PROBABLY DID MORE TO PROMOTE THIS ACTIVITY THAN ALL THE CITATIONS WRITTEN THAT WEEK!

GUESS WE AREN 1T THE ONLY ONES HAVING PROBLEMS., THIS NOTICE APPEARED IN OUR NAMESAKE PAPER IN WYOMING:

Help! l>urin~ lht• pa~l fl'w nronllt~. t·oulrihulion~ frorn tli\'i~ion

n·porlt·r~ haw dt•diru•tl. \\ t• earurol pnnitlt> tli\ isiou llt'WS,

spt•eifie inlt'resliu~ eas.·s aud olllt'r inlt'rl'~liu~ loeal rnal!'l'ial without llu• lu·lp of division rqwrlt•rs arul all olht•r palrolnlt'n.

If )Oil wl'l't' im·olvt•tl in a t·ast• thai 111il-\hl Ill' inkn·sliu~ to mwlrtlllllt'r rt•adt•rs. or if ) 011 ha\'1' photographs or otlwr contributions, ph•as.· nrail tlwrn iu. Om addn•ss is:

Tlw Hoad nrnrlt'r \\ yomiug llil!:hway Patrol P.O. Bm. I i08 Chi') «'IIIII', w y ll:!OO I

CHIEF OF CHICAGO & NORTHWESTERN TRANSPORTATION CO. OF CHICAGO HAD THIS TO SAY:

"WE TAKE l!HIS OPPORTUNITY TO THANK THE WISCONSIN STATE PATROL FOR A JOB WELL DONE., YOUR DEPARTMENT SHOULD BE PROUD TO HAVE MEN OF TRORPER JAWORT 1S ,. CALIBRE WORKING FOR YOU.,'

WHY1 WELL, TOM ROUTINELY CHECKED OUT A TRUCK THAT LOOKED SUSPICOUSLY HEAVY, EARLY ONE MORNING., WHAT HE SAW MADE HIM WONDER., so, BY EVALUATING THE SITUATION, PRESSING HIS INTERROGATION, TOM EVENT­UALLY LED UP TO RECOVERY OF STOLEN RAIL­ROAD EQUIPMENT AND SUPPLIES.,. • • " "

"DEAR SIR: CONGRATULATIONS TO TROOPER DALE PERRY ON HIS FINE PRESENTATION OF THE DRIVING OVER 50 COURSE LAST WEEK IN EAGLE RIVER., I HAD BEEN UNABLE TO ATTEND WHEN HE HELD HIS FIRST-TWO SESSION, BUT HAD HEARD SUCH ENTHUSIASTIC COMMENTS ABOUT HIM AND THE COURSE, I WAS DETER• MINED TO 'CATCH' THIS ONE.,

IT WAS EVERYTHING I HAD ANTICIPATED., ALSO--I CAME AWAY WITH A NEW CONCEPT OF A POLICE OFFICER: A KINDLY HUMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR AND UNDERSTANDING--NOT A P./E~RSOME, FORMIDABLE FOE! S/ MRS., VERNON GOLDWORTHV"

A LETTER OF APPRECIATION RECENTLY WEN FROM FIELD FORCE COMMANDER TO INSP., WIL., THOMAS FOR PUTTING FORTH THAT LITTLE EX­TRA EFFORT IN SERVING ONE OF OUR GRATEFUL CITIZENS.

PUBLIC RELATIONS COSTS NOTHING, BUT ITS RETURNS ARE BEYOND THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR ANY COMMODITY., PUBLIC RELATIONS OR POSITIVE IM,GE, ITS THE SAME, AND HOW SWEET IT IS.

BOY, THE GUY WHO WROTE THIS ONE MUST SOME KINO OF CONTROL•••••

-·----~ ; -- ----., ,-,,- r· '""",----------------

R I G H T 0 R . -::-ii<t ,G li N G ? • • • ·That his,hw~y trav-~'11er 'who claims he's

found a s~ple way of testing restaurants and gas_ stations before eat~ng or buying. All you gotta do - he says ... is visit the restroom :first •. If"it's clean and neat­the food \fil~ 'b~ c;~ean and tasty - and gas stations w:l1J.: b~ ,_ll'cmest and efficient. But if dirty and if~&':t~C..te4. -.,get~ the hell out of there fast,

THE uHOW SWEET IT IS" DEPARTMENT RECOGNIZES INPS. KEITH DRUEGER OF DIST. NO., IV WHO IN APRIL OF 1973 FOLLOWED UP ON A SUSPICION HE HAD OVER A JEEP WHICH HE HAD CHECKED OUT AND WAS INFORMED THRU THE FBI ON MAY 25TH THAT THE VEHICLE WAS INDEED ON THE HOT SHEET., VOILA! ONE RECOVERY•••••

NEW LISBON WAS LAVISH IN ITS PRAISE OF TPR. GERVASE THOMPSON WHO ASSISTED IN "BICYCLE REGISTRATION DAY" PROGRAM THERE IN MAY.

t)(lar Editor, l had the pleasure of standinS

In line Saturday with some af our younger citlzeno t~ receive oor btcycle Ucenst>s. 1 was Vtf1 ltnPrP.:'lsrd with tbe ldnci w4 c<mt>lderate attenti·.J(I ii:!Vt>n to each ont> by our lm~ al and stat4D pol!c.e officers along with their' voluntl:!er 1\tllpers. A pold.UWI eXI-lE' rlencf! .such as thi.s cantl(d belli but lt-av~ Uwse young veo­ple wtth a. Vl)ry good lt•t>llDI tflward our law'enfor.cin« ~p!Go

Hats ott to our poltceinen t<lr a ttnc j'Jb In prornotlnr safety · and r~s(*ct tor 011r laws.

Sincerely, A I .ong Time Dl.ko Rtd-.

'·

THE ACCOLADES . INCLUDED THIS CLIPPING FROM THE LOCAL PAPER WHICH WAS SENT TO CAPT. GOETSCH BY CHIEF OF PO­LICE JOHN Re THOMPSON OF NEW LISBON.,

ALTHOUGH THIS ARTICLE REFLECTS THE THINKING OF ONLY' ONE PERSON THERE WERE MANY COMMENTS FROM THE PEOPLE IN AND ABOUT THE COMMUN lTV WHO COMPLfMENTED THE ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES FOR THEIR EFFORTS ON BEHALF OF .THE BIKE REGI­STRATION PROGRAM.

WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR TPR. CHUCK HOLL's REPORT ON HIS ~ICYCLE INSPECTION AND ROADEO. WELL, CHARLIE? ••••• .,

AMONG THE 89 POLfCE OFFICERS FROM DE­PARTMENTS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WHO WERE GRADUATED IN COMMENCEMENT EXERCISES AT NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY ON JUNE 16, WAS SERGEANT STERLING STANDIFORD OF THE WSP ACADEMY STAFF. THIS MARKED COMPLETION OF THE N.U.T.I. NIN[-MONTH POLICE ADM.IN­ISTRATION COURSE.

FRANK KREML, FOUNDER OF THE INSTITUTE, WAS PRINCIPAL SPEA~ER AT THE DINNER HELD IN HONOR OF THE GRADUATES ON JUNE 14. COL. WILSON E. SPEIER, DIRECTOR OF TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY ALSO SPOKE TO THE GRADUATES ON BEHALF OF THE IACP.

CLASS SPEAKER, CHOSEN BY HIS CLASS­MATES, WAS LIEUT. CHASe M. ROBINSON OF THE VIRGINIA STATE POLICE.

WE WISH TO CONGRATULATE SGT. STANDI­FORD FOR SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING THIS COURSE OF' STUDY.

f~f.b!l!AilQll

SOME PRETTY GOOD ARTICLES AND NEWS ITEMS COME IN FROM THE FIELD. UNFOR­TUNATELY, TOO OFTEN THEY ARE EITHER PHOTO-COPIED VERY POORLY OR SOMEONE HAS MADE NOTATIONS ON THE FACE. IT'S DARNED NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO USE THOSE.

SO, PLEASE, IF YOU SEND IN A ~OTO­COPY OR A PRESS ITEM, DO NOT WRITE ALL OVER IT AND TRY TO MAKE IT A CLEAR BLACK-AND-WHITE COPY. --EDITOR.

ONE EVENING DURING THE LATTER PART OF MAY, DIST- 5 COMMUNICATJONS TECH. GLEN CARTIER WAS RETURNING TO DIST. HQS. FROM RIDGEVILLE TOWER. JUST BEFOHE HE TURNED INTO THE LONG DRf.VEWAY LEADING UP TO HQS., HE OBSERVED A MAN WHO BAD P'ARKED ON THE SHOULDER OF HWV. 131 PULL AHEAD

======================================~oF HIM IN A SWERVING MANNER AND PROCEED - - T R A 0 I N G p 0 $ T - - TO WEAVE BACK AND FORTH FROM SHOULDER

FOR SALE! A PAIR OF AIRLIFT PNEUMATIC SPRING CONTROLS, MODEL B. CAN BE USED ON CARS HAVING LEAF TYPE REAR SPRINGS. THIS IS MODEL 8-61, CAN GIVE ADDED SUP­PORT TO CAR SPRINGS FOR OVERLOAD UP TO 1,000 POUNDS. TO THE HIGHEST OFFER; CONTACT SGT. GEO B• GUSS AT DIST. NO. 2 FOR DESCRIPTIVE LITERATURE ON THIS SET, AND TO MAKE HIM AN OFFER ••• • • • USED ONLY ONCE l

APPARENTLY TPR. DAVID SCHUMACHER IS USING A DIFFERENT APPROACH WHEN·HE ISSUES 5-DAY TICKETS. RECENTLY, DAVE WROTE ONE TO A YOUNG MAN FROM MINNESOTA FOR .AN INOPERATIVE HEADLAMP. ABOUT A WEEK LATER, CAPTAI~ GOETSCH. REC;IVED A COMPANY CHECK ,OR ~6.80 FROM THE FATHER OF THE YOUNG MAN, AND IT WAS CLIPPED TO THE CERTIFIED CORRECTION NOTICE1

THE MONEY HAS BEEN RETURNED••••••

FROM DIST. II! "we: HAVE A NEW PROCE­DURE IN DIST. NO 2 FOR RECOVERING STOLEN CARS, AND APPREHENDING THE THl!F--IT WORKS LIKE THIS!

THE CAR THIEF REMOVES THE PUBLIC VIN PLATE AND THEN BRINGS THE CAR TO VIN EX-

. PERTS INSPECTORS $METANA AND COX. THEY LOCATE THE TRUE NUMBER AND THEN QUtSTION THE BILL OF SALE THE GUY PRESENTS AS PROOF OF OWNERSHIP• .AN NCIC CHECK SHOWS THE CAR STOLEN I~ YEARS AGO FROM A MEN-

TO SHOULDER RIGHT UP THE HILL TO HEAD­QUARTERS IN FRONT OF HIM.

GLEN I MMED I ATEL Y NOTIFIED TPR • WALT DUNFORD WHO INTERCEPTED THE GUY AS HE WAS GOING BACK DOWN THE HILL--HE ALSO CHARGED THE DRIVER WITH AMVWI!

ONE MIGHT SAY THAT THIS INDIVIDUAL'S JUDGEMENT WAS IMPAIRED SIMPLY ON THE BASIS THAT HE MADE THE nDECfSIONtt TO DRIVE UP TO A STATE PATROL HEADQUARTERS IN AN INTOXICATED CONDITION! YEH!-YEH!

MAYBE YOU 1 ~L LIKE THIS ONE, I THOUGHT THAT IT SAID IT ALL VERY WELL:

:J A LOOSE . SCREW

Albe~ Jn. Aldrich says! "Whe~ I spoke to. 800 students in a State Uni­versity, I was informed that the Bible should not be mentioned in the school. . The same afternoon I was invited to ~tk to about 800. men in the ·State Pentientiaty, and the Warden asked me to give them th~ B'ible truth."

. One ·state has passedt.a law forbid-ding the Bible to be read in the schools, and the saine s te passed an­other law making it ma datory that a Bible be pl~ed in every, prison cell. . What reasoning I A fence at the top of the precipice is mach better than a hospital at the foot of the hill.

While men lfve, they damn and ridi· cute the preacher; when they are dyh1g they send for him, too late.

OMONEE FALLS DEALER. THE MENOM-PALLS ••••• AND WE ARE DOING THE SAME THING P.o. DETECTIVE ARRIVES AT DIST NO. 2 AND WITH AUTOMOBILES. INSTEAD Or GETTING AFTER 30 MINUTES 1 THERE IS A CONFESSION. THE CAN 1TS, THE WONtTe AND T~IE DONtTS THE JOKER PLEADED GU IL TV IN COURT NEXT OFF THE 'ROAD, WE ARE TRYING OUR DARNDEST DAY. ALL CAR THIEVES SHUD BE SO COOP- TO BUILD A CA!R THAT THOSE. NUTS CAN'T E_R_A_T_I_V_E_! __ -'-------------- KILL ANYONE. I!N ..... YOU FIGURE IT OUT.

b . .. SAW BARBARA AND

LT. JERRY KLUG ON CAPITOL SQUARE SAT URDAY THE 7TH,·THE

FIRST DAY OF' THE TWO-DAY ANNUAL·SIDEWALK ART FAIR~ BARB WAS DISPLAYING AND MARKETING FRAMED DRIED FLOWERS AND 8UTTERFl.£S.

THIS ARTICLE FROM THE 11 SPOONER ADVOCATE*' PROVES. INTERESTING, AND NO, RAY SCHWOCHERT D.l D NOT· SEND I IN •• • • • •

It could have: r.aiji;ned an)'' · place else, but right there in· front ., of the post office. Trqoper Ray · Schwochert, of the State Patr~l1 was. all se.t to ienj«)y, hl$·d~ ofa when he narked,:hiSilV~Jksw,agen "bug" in:t-ont onh& li,08t'.omce to get his mall. Unfot.tunately the car doors were lock~· when he slammed the door .on tbe ~river:s side and that rottenJ!ttle key;wa• still in the'lgnitio~.]t:-;ta~.lt~qt ~: a.m., a time whetr l tot of pE!dple were picking up their mail; Among them were te1tow'officers

· Trooper jy ar. r. e. n .< !JJ!Z. z) HoJde. t\ and Sgt. A~itllWI~f. <?.~~·;.AAl the scene ·,Were ·m;· ChaM·JI,l':· Rector, familiar With: Volks­wa e~ :w.hb off@~· s$'!$ta~;·.' an~ Editor Bill Stew~,\¥llo .tiQJ· I

t>E:en' known to J~Jt;;jds k~.s.)n the . car. AU . off~~ tec~i¢~1 adVlC~ and 8S.SlSU\OC<!, }leJm .. "'Jo comphcate the situatJon W.._J:he fact that it.was raitdng s~i:Hb•. Passing motorists .Mf~red sooh comments as "Otfi®t. ·U,!!Y,1J"e t~ing to steal that ciO' / 1

1,.1!jYeh­

ually "the 11afe was tracked' ~Uid Trooper Schw~h~rl drove: ott. We hope the res,t .~ his dAY otf was better- than the. ~glnnfhg.

IT WoULD BE UNFAIR IF WE FAiLED TO MENTION THAT 3.63 WAS THE FINAL GRADE OF' e!IGT. GUS SPRATZ, ltMO. GRADUATED WITH HONORS F'ROM M.A.T.c •••••••••

NOW THAT THEY 1RE 6N THE DOUSMAN RANCHO, THE DON KENNELLYS ARE PROUD OWNERS OF A RIDING HORSE •• eDON, IS IT TRU; THAT IT~S A PERCHERON.?.... .

"Why iR Farmer Brown pacing up and down?" ·

"H ' t 'bl · e.R erri y worrwd about his wife.''

"Why, what's she got" "The car!"

-15'-··

IF YOU HAVE A REGISTRATIO PROBLEM, LIEUT. JEATRAN IS THE MAN TO CONTACT! A GENT STOPPED··· AT THE ACADEMY IN EARLY MAY, COMPLAINED HE HA APPLIED FOR NEW LICENSE AND 'TITLE~ ~SAID·HE HAD THE LI­CENSE PLATES, BUT THE TITLE WAS·OVERDUE, HAD NOT COME.

LT~ J~ PlACED A CALL TO MADISON. AFTER THE CALL, JIM CALLED THE GUY AND TOLD HIM THE 'TITLE WOULD .ARRIVE SHORTLY e 1' ..

. THAt"AFTERNOON, ·THIS SAME GENTLEMAN CALLED TO PRO­F'USELY THANK THE LIEUTENANT

~~RD~~'TA::~~T~~gE?o~A~!~~~ BUT IT SURE GOT SOME ACTION BECUZ THE .Trn1E CAME JN TODAY 1 S · MA I L l

C1MON, JIM, TELL US HOW YOU FANAGLED THAT ONE••••••

INSP. BILL MUSCHINSKI CUT OUT A. PIECE FOR THE "PLYM­OUTH REVIEW" WHICH CONCERNS THE SCHOOL BUS BUS~NESS AND SOME VIEW~ OF' THE 1 0RIOLE BUS LINES' OF ELKHART LAKE, WIS.

ONE OF THE QUOTES OF THE BUS LINES 1 OWNER GOES, LIKE THis: HE CALLED DRIVING IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS ttNOT TOO BAD" BUT SAID IT IS GETTING WORS~ TODAY BECAUSE "THE 8TIT! INSPECTORS ARE A LITTLE NUTS •"

COMPLAINING BECAUSE SEV­ERAL OF HIS BUSES WERE NOT APPROVED BECAUSE THE SEATS WERE MOUNTED THREE-F"OURTHS OF AN INCH TOO CLOSE TO­GETHER, AUGIE FUMED ON, "ALL YOU NEED IS A GOOD DRIVER, BUT HERE THESE IN­SPECTORS COME WITH THEIR M M

.,, I CRO ETERS. • .... •

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THA GUY, BILL??? ••••••

ANOTHER CHUCKLE F"ROM THE OXFORD PRESS:

. -~BOI'TIE GAS RANGB roR· sALE: Qv'en door won't stay shut. Other­wise dang. thing works a5 good as any. $5 • .

~ - - . - -· .....

IN THE TRUEST TRADITION OF SEAGOING MEN, JOHN SCHOENICK GOES DOWN WITH THE SHIP .......

MR. SCHOENICK 9 ALONG WITH HIS YOUNGEST SON 9 TOOK THEIR ALUMACRAFT BOAT OVER AND DROPPED.· IT· IN ON LAKE MENDOTA •

WHILE MAKING PREPARATION TO START THE MOTOR, JOHN SUDDENLY REALIZED HE WAS INEXPLICABLY ANKLE-DEEP IN WATER--HE THEN REALIZED THAT HE 9D F"OR~OTTEN TO IN­SERT THE DRAINPLUG!

HURRIEDLY, HE TURNED Td GETT I NG THE MOTOR GO i NG ·· . BECUZ HE KNEW THAT ONCE THE MOTOR WAS GOING, THE AUTOMATIC BAILER WOULD Do' THE REST • • • ... BUT 9 ·THE BATTERY WAS LOW AND THE MOTOR WOULD NOT START! AND THE BOAT· SETTLED DOWN I NTO THE WA TE: R.. • • • • •'

-B~n Wicks .

"How come you're never on strike?" ·

COL. LIW VERSNIK WAS PRESENTED WITH A SMALL LOVING CUP AT THE SCHOOL BUS CONTRACTOR 1S CONVENTION AT TELEMARK. DICK RECHLICZ DESCRIBED THE DIRECTOR AS A MIGHTY POOR POKER PLAYER.

The Interstate H i g h way Sybtem, when completed, will represent less than two per cent of nation's highway mileage, but will carry 20 per cent of the nation's traffic.

-16-

In the Editor's Mail

HAVE A NEW ADQ~tss:

n ALGOMA A W 1 S • JUNE 1~, 973 DEAR CORKY:

JUST A NOTE TO LET YOU KNOW I

117 STASSEN ST., ALGOMA, WISe 54201.

SURE WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THE ROAD RUNNER. READ IT FROM END TO END AND ENJOY IT VERY MUCH EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW A LOT OF THE NEWCOMERS TO THE PATROL. WA~ED TO ATTEND THE VARIOUS RETIRE­

MENT PARTIES BUT WAS UNABLE TO DO SO BE­CAUSE OF MAJOR SURGERIES I HAVE BEEN HAVING THE LAST TWO YEARS. FIRST IT WAS SURGERY FOR REMOVAL OF A. KIDNEY STONE, THEN I WENT Oolo UNTIL IN FEBRUARY WHEN HAD ABOUT t OF STOMACH REMOVED BECAUSE OF ULCERS. WHEN I HAD THAT OPERATION

M E M 0 R 8 A L D A Y

MEMBERS O:F' TROOP Ito" t DISTRICT NO"' I I ':1

BOUGHT A WREATH OF REO AND WHITE CARNA­TIONS FOR TROOPER DONALD PEOERSQN 1S GRAY! FOR MtMORIAL DAY. SERGEANT JOHN MORIEARTY AND T"OOPEft JOEL BRANDAU DID THE HONORS OF lltACING THE WREATH ON THE GRAVE AT GREEN LAKE, WIS. ON SATURDAY, MAY 26, 1973.

THE GRAVE STONE AND VETS. MARKER ARE NOW UP AND THE STONE 1$ VERY BEAUTIFUL.

MEDAL OF HONOR IS PLACED IN THE STONE JUST ABOVE HIS NAME. IRROP~R PEDERSON WAS A MtMBER OF TROOP 'D WHEN KI~LEO I N l, I NE OF" DUTY •

TH(V DISCOVERED I HAD AN ANEURISM OF THE AORTA. SO THEN NOW IN MAY I HAD SURGERY FOR THAT. THE OPERATION TURNED OUT OoKo BUT NOW I HAVE HAD AN INFECTION THAT HAS REALLY PUT ME DOWN. CAME HOME ON SATURD Y JUNE 9TH. AM HAVING A VERY SLOW RECOVER SO FAR. MAY HAVE TO HAVE SOME BLOOD TRA NSFUSIONS TO PEP ME UP A BIT.

CALL ME By Harry Kach

Call me a 'cop', the 'fuzz', or 'the heat', Call me whatever you will.

But call me when there is work to be done,

And I'll do it with courage and skill. .

Call me oa 'pig', a 'bull', or 'The Man', GUESS THAT's ABOUT All THE NEWS FROM

HERE FOR THIS TtME •• AGAIN, THANK.YOU FOR SENDING THE ROAD RUNNER.

BEST REGARDS, PAUL ROBLE"

---·--- - - - - -NICE H~ARING F~OM YOU, TROOPER PAUL ROBLE \RETIRED), SORRY ABOUT YOUR HEALTH PROBLEMS. EXTREMELY PhEASto THAT Y'OU ENJOY THE "ROAD RUNNER • --EDITOR.

THERE WAS A POST SCRIPT TO THAT STORY OF HOW PCO BOB BARNETT RAN OUT OF GAS. IT WAS ON THE "1" NEAR 51, AND TPR. BRUNS WA8 NORTH-BOUND. JOHN HAILED BOB TO SAY TNIT HE "WOULD BE RIGHT BACKn SOON AS HE GOT TO A TURN-AROUND. HE FORGOT TO TELL BOB HE WAS GOING TO WISCONSIN OELLS TO TURN AROUND! ••••••

TPR. WALT DUNFORD WAS LIMPING AROUND AT A TROOP MEETING. HE WAS RELUCTANT TO EXPLAIN WHY, BUT THE GUYS FINALLY GOT IT OUT OF HIM: HIS PONY THREW THEIR

18-VEAR OLD ~ON, SO WALT WAS GOING TO ttSHOW HI MHO\/ IT WAS SUP!OSEO TO BE · DONE ••• THAT 1S WHAT YOU GET, WALT, FOR TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH TH£ YOUNGER SET ••

Call me whatever you may~ Call me when you're facing dangel;", my friend, And I hope that I'm headed your way,

Oall me and threaten my wife and my kids.

I'U take it $11 into stride, Spit on my clothing· and pelt me with rocks

I'il .still serve with honor and pride.

. .Call if you've got a child that is lost, Or one that you've caught using dope,

Call me to rescue your tot from a pool, Stand by me with prayer and with

hope. .

Call me il. burglars brl$k into your bo~ •.

I'll face their guns or $ knife, Call me w)len <ira~-racing autos collid~,

My training migr.t well save a life,

Call me whenever your problems arise, ·

No matter what hour of the day. And I'll show you t)lere's more to being a cop, · · Th~ the uniform, badge, and .the

pay.

A 'i*enager pointing. to a crumpled fender on the family car: "Great news, Dad! You haven't been pouring those insur•nce payments down the drain."