Wiriting Email

INCLUDING

MODEL LETTERS

FOR EVERY

SITUATION

BY

Dawn-Michelle Baude, Ph.D.

Franklin Lakes, NJ

THE

ExecutiveGUIDE TO

E-MAILCorrespondence

Copyright 2007 by Dawn-Michelle Baude, Ph.D.

All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International CopyrightConventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in anyform or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known orhereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The CareerPress.

The e-mail documents in this book are based on actual e-mail the author hasread and collected. Identifying details have been altered prior to publication.Any resemblence to actual businesses and employees is purely coincidental.

THE EXECUTIVE GUIDE TO E-MAIL CORRESPONDENCEEDITED AND TYPESET BY ASTRID DERIDDER

Cover design by Howard Grossman/12E DesignPrinted in the U.S.A. by Book-mart Press

To order this title, please call toll-free 1-800-CAREER-1 (NJ and Canada:201-848-0310) to order using VISA or MasterCard, or for further informationon books from Career Press.

The Career Press, Inc., 3 Tice Road, PO Box 687,Franklin Lakes, NJ 07417www.careerpress.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Baude, Dawn Michelle, 1959-The Executive guide to e-mail correspondence : including model letters

for every situation / by Dawn-Michelle Baude.p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.ISBN-13: 978-1-56414-910-7ISBN-10: 1-56414-910-2

1. Electronic mail messages. 2. Letter writing. I. Title.

HE7551.B38 2006651.79--dc22 2006023656
www.careerpress.com

Over the years, Ive had the opportunity to coach writers whose e-maildocuments were a career liability. Their e-mails were either heavily revisedbefore being sent through the chain of command, or they were bouncedback for more and more rewriting. These poor writers were extremelyintelligent, highly motivated people who excelled in other aspects of theirjobs. Only their writing held them back.

After learning a few e-mail writing techniques and how to apply them,these writers went on to succeed and, in some cases, receive company-wide commendation for their written documents. In other words, workerssingled out for poor communication skills became writers praised for thehigh quality of their e-mail.

I dedicate this book to them.

I owe my gratitude to colleagues, friends, and students who havecontributed their advice and insight to this project. Special recognitionis extended to the IBM EMEA Legal Team, including Carl Belding,Dan Schenck, Fabio Moretti, Eva Salzmann, and Paloma Valor, forintroducing me to the issues that this book addresses.

I would also like to thank the INSEAD and Harvard Alumni Groups,Michael Herlihy at International Chemical Corporation, and VictorSonsino at the European Counsels Group, for providing ideas andperspective.

My appreciation goes to Dr. George Lakoff, Kathleen Frumkin, and Dr.Kyoko Inoue, for encouraging me to rethink English grammar for myself.I also want to thank Tanis Kmetyk, who is an ongoing source of editinginsight and advice.

And finally, I extend my gratitude to Gina Panettieri at Talcott & NotchLiterary Agency, and the top-flight crew at Career Press, for their cheerfulsuggestions, encouragement, and feedback.

Dedication and Acknowledgments

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How to Use This Book 7

Introduction 9

Chapter One 17The Basics

Chapter Two 33Sharing Information

Chapter Three 55Delicate Situations

Chapter Four 77Vendors and Suppliers

Chapter Five 103Sales and Marketing

Chapter Six 127Working as a Team

Chapter Seven 149Employee Issues

Chapter Eight 171Leadership

Contents

Chapter Nine 195Deals and Contracts

Chapter Ten 209Run It Past Legal

Chapter Eleven 229On a Personal Note

Briefings 247

Bibliography 265

Index 267

About the Author 271

Look no further: everything you need to write clear and efficient e-mails isbetween the covers of this book!

Models show you how its done.

Maps provide flexible document outlines for every e-mail task.

Tools explains the why and how of e-mail English.

Netiquette describes e-mail trends.

Options illustrates how to swap words and phrases.

Inbox helps control the impression your e-mail makes.

Edit shows you how to revise your e-mail.

Advice supplies practical guidance on essential writing issues.

How to Use This Book

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How to Use This Book 7

Introduction

E-mail is not hard copyDont make the mistake of thinking that an e-mail is just a document youread on a computer screen. Because its not. E-mail is designed to move ortransact information as rapidly as possible from writer to reader. E-mailusually produces immediate action, often in the form of another e-mail.

Hard copy is designed for contemplation over time. Hard copy does notnecessarily move the reader to act. Readers dont immediately respond tohard copy with more hard copy, if ever. E-mail is a transaction; hard copyis a reflection.

E-mail is more than rectangularE-mail appears in a window, with clearly defined edges. The window is ona screen, and the edges of the screen are reinforced. The edges of thecomputer conceal armatures that hold the screen in place. These edgesand frameswindows and screensfocus reading in a way that is verydifferent from the way we read hard copy. The edge of the piece of paper,of the book or booklet, is not so insistent. Its easier for the eye to lift, towander, to reflect.

Boxed-inIn e-mail, multiple frames relentlessly focus the eye on the text. Rigidborders confine our gaze, keep it on the words. The trapped-in quality ofthe text affects our expectations about the purpose and intent of reading.When we look at an e-mail, we expect to receive informationright away.And we get frustrated when we dont get it.

E-mail in the boxThe frame pops open; the e-mail appears. In a click, the window closesand its gone. The ephemeral character of e-mail means it cant wastetime. It either rapidly communicates, or it doesnt communicate at all.

E-mail is not quaintSince e-mail and hard copy dont deliver information in the same way,theyre not written in the same way either. Everything from layout tosentence patterns to vocabulary changes. For example: long, ponderousparagraphs dont work well in business e-mailits better to divvy the text

Introduction 9

up into smaller units. And standard hard copy letter formulas, such asYours very truly, sound quaint in e-mail. Its better to go with Regards.In business e-mail, efficiency of communication takes precedence overliterary style and social conventions.

Do-it-yourself readingTo communicate information rapidly, let the reader direct his or her ownreading. Map the document so that the reader intuitively knows where tolook for specific information. Simplicity gives the reader freedom tonavigate the e-mail without wasting time.

To skim and scanSkimming means that the reader gives different levels of attention todifferent parts of an e-mail. Some sentences receive a close, word-by-word, focusother sentences arent read at all. Scanning means the readeris looking for specific information and ignoring the rest. For example, areader may skim an itinerary in an e-mail from a travel agent and scan forthe price of airfare. Knowing how to set-up a business e-mail for skimmingand scanning is a highly sought after skill.

More white space, pleaseIn order to skim and scan, the eyes need to be able to move around thetext. The eyes want to focus in some places, rest in others.

A dense block of print on the screen does not encourage rapid eyemovement. Its impossible to jump around, because theres nowhere tojump to. The reader has no choice but to continue, sentence by sentence,word by word. It plods. It takes time.

Contrast speeds things up. Alternating print with empty white space givesthe reader wings. In the rhythm of black text and white space, attentioncan vary with curiosity. The eye has freedom to alight here and there inthe text, instead of just dutifully soldiering on.

White space is meaningfulWhite space is not empty. Its full of meaning. White space tells thereader that theres a change in idea, a shift in the argument, an exampleon the way, a contrast coming, or an objection being raised. Readers usewhite space to navigate information in an e-mail as much as they useprinted words on the screen.

First things firstYears of reading practice have taught us to emphasize first-things in atext. In business e-mail, the first sentence of the text is more importantthan the fourth sentence in the third paragraph. And the first sentence in

10 The Executive Guide to E-mail Correspondence

any paragraph is usually more important than any other sentence in thesame paragraph.

Readers skim first sentences in paragraphs to decide if they need to takemore time to read the paragraph slowly in its entirety. And readers willalso decide to read an e-mail immediately or save it for later based on thefirst sentence.

The paragraph ruleThe business e-mail paragraph often moves from a general idea to specificideas, or from the most important idea to least important. The most generalor important sentence goes first. The other sentences amplify the idea,extend the idea, compare or contrast the idea, or support the idea.

Of course, not every single e-mail paragraph follows the general-to-specific,or most-to-least important pattern. But that doesnt mean the readerdoesnt pay attention to the first sentence of each paragraph anyway. Infact, its very hard not to. Ever since we learned to read, weve been taughtto pay close attention to the first sentence. And we do!

Readers are creatures of habitWant a reader to notice a particular point? Put it at the top of the e-mailor in the first sentence of a paragraph. Want to hide a point you still haveto make? Bury it in the fourth sentence of the third paragraph.

Announce your subjectThe most important sentence in an e-mail is the first one. It often decideswhether your reader will read on grudgingly or with interest. In fact, itdecides if your reader will read on at all! For that reason, the first sentenceannounces the main point of the e-mail. Readers want to cut right to thechase. Occasionally, the subject announcement may extend to twosentences, but one sentence is preferable.

Make sure the intent is clearBegin with your conclusion, then explain.

For replies, give your answer in the first sentence and explain yourreasoning below.

For requests, telling the reader straight out what you want saves everyonetime.

For updates, summarize the situation in the first sentence and thendetail it in the rest of the e-mail.

If you have a question to ask, do so right away.

If the reader has asked you to reply, remind him or her at the start.

Introduction 11

Attention diminishes with lengthThe longer you carry on, the less likely the reader is paying attention.

Headers can helpUsing headersor subtitlesenhances skimming. Headers give readersclues about e-mail content so that they can make decisions about whatthey want to read, the order in which to read, and the material they dontneed to bother with.

For example, you could label paragraphs with headers describing stages ina process, such as Problem, Analysis, and Solution. Or you coulduse paired headers, such as Assets and Liabilities, or even Action andOutcome. Dates, or steps in a sequence, also work well.

E-mails odd relationship with printBusiness e-mail has, in fact, spawned its own writing conventions, such assignature lines with the information that once appeared at the top of hardcopy, such as snail-mail addresses and phone numbers. Semicolons, alreadyon the wane in hard copy correspondence, are rare in e-mail, while thedash is rapidly gaining ground. As generations who have never known aworld without the Internet hit the marketplace, theyll continue to shapelanguage to our evolving digital needs.

A little less formalE-mail is more like sticking your head through a colleagues office doorthan introducing yourself at a conference table. It remains polite anddignified, but it often loses many of the trappings of hard copycorrespondence. One-word sentences or paragraphs, for example, are okay.Roman numerals (I. II. III.) look fussy in e-mail, while Arabic numbers(1. 2. 3.) work just fine. Or, better yet, drop the numeric system altogetherand go with a simple bullet point (l).

Simplify, simplify, simplifyAn excellent test of a writers skills is the ability to translate complexsubjects into straightforward prose. In business e-mail, the smartest writersuse short sentences and common vocabulary whenever possible.

Short = fastShort sentences keep ideas on trackfor the writer as much as for thereader. Theyre a quick remedy against grammatical issues clogging long,convoluted sentence structures. Short sentences dont usually have as manygrammar issues, if any at all. They speed along, unencumbered bypretentiousor misguidedmass.


Length matters!Because e-mail is designed to be skimmed, screen-size document length ispreferred. Long e-mails should be divided up into short, concise e-mailswhenever possible. Supporting information, the backstory, and contextualdocuments should be relegated to attachmentsthey stay off the centerstage (or in this case, out of the active window). A short e-mail targets itssubject, allowing the reader to hit the reply button right away. No scrollingnecessary.

Hold the fancy vocabularyPerspicacious is a great word, but sharp is better in a business e-mailcontext. The idea isnt to impress the reader with semantic subtlety andtexturethe idea is to get the message across, right away. Longer wordstake more time to process than short words. We dont have to spend asliver of neural time to observe, Wowhavent seen that word in a while!We just keep right on going.

Keep the tense simpleThe trend toward simplicity in e-mail English extends to verb tense. Whoneeds He would have been phoning when He phoned will do? Simplepresent and past tenses can do a lot of the tense work in English. Theyreshorter, quicker, and less apt to fall victim to grammatical error. Theirauthority shines through.

Whats with indents?The indent at the beginning of the hard copy paragraph has gone the wayof envelope. Its a relic of how we used to communicate in the past, notthe way well communicate in the futureat least as far as e-mail isconcerned. Why? Because the eye needs a full empty line betweenparagraphs to skim.

Dear ReaderThe elaborate salutations of hard copy correspondence are disappearing.For example, instead of Dear Mrs. Notley, or even Dear Alma, in abusiness e-mail, just Alma will do, even when the correspondents dontknow each other personally. Most business e-mail favors a comma afterthe name, unless the writer is trying to send a signal of high formalitythen the colon comes into play. Alma: tells the reader that somethingvery important is about to follow, while Alma, signals business-as-usual.

More e-mail, fewer windowsBecause one e-mail leads to another e-mail, back-and-forth e-mail iscommon. In an e-mail thread, a record of the previous installment is

Introduction 13

pasted in below the most recent e-mail. That way, you can trace thedevelopment of ideas without having to click open each e-mail individually.

More e-mail, less formalityAs the e-mail thread lengthens, a curious thing happensthe e-mailinstallments tend to shrink. New installments in a thread dont functionas new e-mails. They operate as extensions of the original mail.

First to go are the names. Sometimes the writer will use initials, butoften markers of identity disappear altogether from the active frame.Sentences simplify, reduce. Markers of context, such dates and times, areoften omitted. Theres no need to identify or reinforce the parameters ofthe initial e-mail over and over again. If the readers lose the thread, theycan check the previous e-mails.

Intertextual and hypertextualAn e-mail usually doesnt exist in literal isolation, as hard copy does. It isexplicitly intertextual, in the sense that it links to previous e-mail in thesame window. It is explicitly hypertextual, in the sense that its apt toinclude attachments or links to Websites. Because e-mail is bothintertextual and hypertextual, content often does not have to be continuallyreiterated, because the reader already has access to all the information inthe current window.

Cut the threadLong e-mail threads take on historic value. But they can quickly becomeheavy. Theres a point at which the back-and-forth of correspondence hasonly a residual value. No one is going to scroll through it all, even whenthe issue is of primary concern. To avoid dragging a useless tail around,cut the e-mail thread now and then. Begin a fresh, new e-mail. That way,when readers need to sift through the sand, theyll be more likely to findthe true value.

What about the subject field?Subject fields in e-mail function like titles in hard copy. Most often, thesubject field summarizes the topic of the e-mail (May 14 CommitteeMeeting). It can also pique the readers curiosity by asking a question(Lumina Going Public?), comment on an aspect of the content(Yesterdays Security Breach), quote directly from the content (5-StepBackground Checklist), or demand the readers attention by announcingurgency (Urgent M&A Update).

Sometimes writers want to draw attention to the personal nature of theirmail. In this case, they often use their names (From Pres. Wilkins);titles (From the VPs Office); or coded, personalized references (About


Our Project). Other times, the readers dont bother to type in a subjectfield, so the computer does it for them, Re: From the VPs Office.

The problem with subject linesThe busy reader doesnt always read them.

Playing the style gameVocabulary, sentences, punctuation, and layout can all be modulated forstyle. The closer the conventions are to hard copy, the more formal the e-mail. Add a semicolon, and it veers toward formality. Sign your e-mailwith initials, and youve opted for informality. Use italics instead of capitalletters for emphasis, and you look very formal. Put in a lot of dashes andyoure informal. Having a feel for the signals words, sentence structure,punctuation, and layout give allows you to have more control over theimpression your e-mail makes.

Errors in email?The speed with which e-mail is written, sent, and read seems to inviteerror. Even the most scrupulous writers can press the send button beforethey correct the grammatical error in the fourth sentence. The grammarcheck missed it, too. Occasional errors, while undesirable, are notuncommon. Continual errors, however, are worrisome and suggest thewriter needs serious writing help.

Can you see what youre writing?The quickest way to find errors in your e-mail is to consult the copy of thee-mail youve already sent. Once the pressure is off to send, you see the e-mail baldly, for what its worth, in all its shame and glory.

When were trying to bang out an e-mail to send, a different situationinheres. We type too fast. We read too fast. We proof too fast. Our dyslexia,corrective lenses, eye strain, overindulgence from the night before, andlack of sleep get the better of us. Oh no! Its too late. Not even thegrammar and spellchecks can save us. Its gone.

Perhaps one day our e-mail programs will psychological delays tagged tothe stress or sleepiness of the writer. Until then, we have to help ourselvesby:

changing the typeface of the e-mail to see the contents afresh whenwe edit and revise

changing the type size for the same reason

printing out a hard copy

reading the e-mail aloud so that the ear can hear errors that the eyecant see

Introduction 15

Put out the fireFlaming is a no-no. No matter how angry, insulted, and indignant youare at the e-mail you just received, fight the temptation to let off steam.Mean and angry e-mails are easily dismissedits the cool, calm ones thatget revenge. And sometimes, a pleasant, understanding e-mail catchesyour adversary off guard. The last thing you need at work is a reputation asa flamer. Coworkers will sift through the ashes and gossip.

Frames magnifyEmotion comes across in e-mail with more force than we often imagine.Its almost as if the focused reading produced by framing in screens andwindows intensifies emotion rather than diminishes it. What may haveseemed like an aloof observation could strike the reader as downright rude.The off-hand complaint could come across as aggressive. A little bit ofemotion goes a long way in business e-mail.

When to pick up the phoneWhen you need to communicate how you feel.

When you need to break bad news before you send the e-mail.

When youve been e-mailing someone back and forth for weeks.

Whats left in an e-mail once all the nonessential words havebeen taken away?

A clear message.

A startling observationA lot of the business e-mail circulating right this second through cyberspacecan be halved in length. Some business e-mail can even be reduced evenfurther, provided the writer knows what to look for.

If business e-mails were more concise, thered be less e-mail stuffing theinbox. All the time wasted with replying, with correctingmiscommunications, with complementing incomplete communications,and/or dithering in order to delay the Herculean task of communicationcould be invested in other activities.

E-mail is economicThe economy is based on transactions of goods and service. You want toget the most for your money. You want to spend as little as possible andmaximize the returns. The same thing is true in e-mail. You want to getmaximum returns on the fewest words possible. Thats just good business,and good communication.


The BasicsINCLUDING

Request for Approval

Reply to a Request for Approval

Request for Information

Reply to a Request for Information

CHAPTER ONE

17

The Basics 19

Bree,I need your urgent support on an issue regarding a nationwiderebate program. I dont believe we should approve additionalrebates for the southern region because of potential businesspartner issues.A nationwide 1% rebate program is scheduled to launch inFebruary 2008. Because of storm damage, the time frame inthe southern states has been extended. An additional 0.5%rebate is to be offered in March and April in the southernregion.Due to slack markets in disaster areas, the southern states wanta 1.5% rebate throughout the duration of the program. Business,including Sikibu, is behind it. In response to the pressure,Promotions and Discounts has come up with a region- andstate-only promotions policy.The extended 1.5% rebate for the southern region doesntmeet the region-specific promotions criteriavarious func-tions are fighting against it. Our business partners will notunderstand preferential treatment given to the southernregion. BP problems may impact the AWP deal.The attached notes provide full details and discussion. Pleaselet me know if you need additional information.Regards,Max JacovitchDirector, LAT UnitVector, [email protected]

Request for Approval

SubjectAnnouncement

Background

Problem

Analysis

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ToolsImmediately announce that you want approvalfor a particular course of action

Stating at the get-go what you want and why you want it gives the boss animportant option: He or she can reply without reading the rest of your e-mail. What? The boss reply without reading the reasons behind yourrequest? After youve taken all that time to figure it out? After youvenoted your reasons down in the hopes of dazzling him or her with thebrilliance of your analysis?

Yes, of course, the boss might scan your e-mail for specific information,decide to read the entire e-mail thoroughly, or even ask for moreinformation. But most of the time, the boss just wants to know quicklywhat you think. Thats why you were hired.

Use headers to map the documentHeaders allow readers to zoom in on relevant information. Theres noneed for the readers to waste time wading through an entire e-mail to finda particular point. Oftentimes, readers dont want to read the entiredocument. The boss, in particular, is looking for specific information inorder to make a decision.

Not every detail is as important as the others. Headers allow the reader topick and choose the parts of the document that should be skimmed andthe parts that need to be considered in detail. They allow readers to directtheir own reading of a document, rather than accepting one imposed onthem.

How to map a documentIf you dont have a model, you have to come up withthe map yourself. Mentally reduce your document toits main points and arrange them in a logical order.Identifying the main points is often the hard part. Forexample, in an e-mail to a colleague recapping a verbalagreement, you begin by dating the meeting in thefirst paragraph. Then assign one paragraph to eachpoint that you agreed to. Conclude on an upbeat note.Eventually, structuring a document will come sonaturally, you wont even have to think about it.

The Basics 21

Keep headers shortThe simplest kind of header summarizes information thats elaborated inthe following paragraph. But be carefula summary header directs reading,but it doesnt give the content away! If your headers get too long andcomplex, youre probably writing the lead sentence in a paragraph.

Make sure the headers stand outA header that blends into the rest of the text isnt functioning as a header.You can put the headers in bold. They can also be underlined, italicized,or capitalized. Headers are usually either anchored on the left-hand marginor centered.

Inbox

Imagine you get 100s of e-mails. You open a request for approval,but you dont know its a request for approval...until you get to thelast paragraph! What a waste of time! If the writer had made thepurpose clear, you could have already been on to the next e-mail.You wouldnt have had to wade through three paragraphs to figureout what the writer wanted. You wouldnt experience that familiarpang of frustrationwhy am I reading this e-mail?and could haveresponded right away.

@

Strong writing skills enhance confidenceYou dont have to worry about whether you communi-cated a particular point clearly. You know you did. Andthe boss noticed.


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Ray,I accept your recommendation regarding the new Vectortotal cap.In general, we never want to pay damages that exceed thepurchase price of product/service.The per claim language dates from the time when we soldmore products than services. The language is less risky forproducts, where multiple claims from the same product arerare. This is not the case with services, where multiple claimsare likely. In SO, SI and Consulting, we obviously have adifferent approach because of the nature of the engagement.The total cap is definitely the better way to go. Let me knowif you need more.Regards,Andrei SeligmannNegotiation AnalystVector, [email protected]

SubjectAnnouncement

Reasoning

Context

GoodwillClose

The Basics 23

ToolsGrant or decline approval right away

Someone whos asked for approval wants to know one thing: Has approvalbeen granted? Tell the reader at the get-go!

Reminding the reader specifically what you are agreeing to and why youreagreeing helps avoid any misunderstandings in the future.

Taking a moment to succinctly explain your decision fosters constructiverelationships as well as builds the knowledge base.

Keep paragraphs shortShort paragraphs allow for skimming and scanning. Short paragraphs fitbetter in screens and windows. Even more importantly, the short paragraphsuggests that youve taken the time to organize your document intodigestible content bytes.

A short paragraph can be as short as one sentence or one word. It can be aslong as three or four sentences. If your paragraph is longer than that, seeif you can break it into two or more separate, consecutive paragraphs.

Short paragraphs allow reader and writer to distinguishand literally focusonkey information. Short paragraphs are friendly, thrifty, and neat.

Arrange paragraphs in the order of importanceLook at it this way: Readers who spend a lot of time on the screen paymore attention to the opening of a document than they do to its close.For example, they may read the first sentence in its entirety. But by thetime they reach the end of a document, theyre probably just catching afew words here and there. All the more reason to prioritize your informationaccording to importance.

The essential point of the e-mail goes at the top. The rest of the informa-tion is often arranged in paragraphs according to a descending order ofimportance. Or as one VP told me, The first sentence is what counts.The rest is just details.

Humanize technical information by dividing it upThe jargonor technical vocabularyof business can put off even aninterested, knowing reader. Even when you know what the jargon means,it still has a tendency to repel. And if youre not certain what the jargonmeans, it can be downright alienating.


OptionsI accept. Youve got a green light toOK... Ill give you my approval onDo it Im alright with thatI agree You have my OK onI approve Proceed withI concur... Go ahead and

One way to avoid deterring the reader is to confine jargon in manageableunits. Small units help us feel in control of the information, instead ofthe other way around.

Even when readers arent familiar with the jargon, small paragraphs andshort sentences make them feel as if they could be.

Caught off guardMany professionals have been in the hot seat becauseof e-mail. Common mistakes include:

withholding the purpose of the e-mail until theconclusion

writing the e-mail too fast, so the result is sloppyand unclear

trying so hard to be clear that the message is lost inan avalanche of detail

lumping the e-mail into one text block instead ofdividing it up into paragraphs

omitting crucial information for fear of makingwriting mistakes

putting the right information in the wrong orderrepeating information needlessly or unconsciouslyusing an inappropriate tone or inappropriate languagepressing the send button without a quick edit and

spellcheck

The Basics 25

Request for Information

SubjectAnnouncement

PresentCircumstances

Conflict

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Etel, Adnan,I need to know the financial projections for out-sourcedproduction in the coming year.Right now, I believe a 125% increase is authorized, althoughthe previous projections held to 80%. The lower number isbased on FIFO. The higher is LST.I have no objection to 125% if Operations is comfortable.But I have just seen some correspondence suggesting that125% is too high for Business to approve.Please advise.Regards,Simone FathAssociate Information OfficerVector, [email protected]


ToolsUse the I pronoun whenever you can

Many writers are anxious about using the I pronoun. At some point intheir education, a teacher told them not to use it, and theyve been tryingto avoid the I pronoun ever since.

This is a big mistake! The I pronoun is standard in most business corre-spondence. Its use is encouraged.

The I pronoun usually speeds things upBecause the I pronoun puts you in the drivers seat, it often leads toclear, more vigorous sentence construction. Compare The orders arecurrently being processed to I am processing the orders.

The I pronoun allows you to take creditOften in business, its preferable to own your work by directly stating youraccomplishments. I am processing the orders gives you credit for thework youre doing. The orders are currently being processed certainlydoesnt.

The I pronoun emphasizes the bond betweenthe writer and reader

If theres an I whos writing, there has to be a you whos reading. Thetwo pronouns go together. Emphasizing your business relationshipsthrough pronoun usage is a good way of reminding the reader that youreworking together.

The I pronoun doesnt mean youre egotisticalBilingual writers, or writers who have been educated outside of the UnitedStates, often feel as if using the I pronoun makes them look conceited.Nothing could be further from the truth.

The emphasis on individuality in the Anglophone world means that Englishlanguage readers expect credit to be given where credit is due. If you areworking on a particular project, say it straight out: I am working on

A direct statement is always valued over a coy disclaimer. Downplayingyour accomplishments in the hopes that someone else will recognize themusually doesnt work.

The Basics 27

NetiquetteKeep your e-mail tone informal and professional. Gone are the days whenwe elaborately greeted the reader using his or her title before getting tothe point. Formulas such as, In view of the following facts and Pleaseallow me to draw your attention to, are simply not efficient. In todaysclimate, straightforward communication is prized because it saves time.

For this reason, you want to use clear vocabulary, rather than loftyvocabulary. You dont want to show-off, insist on your intellectual prowess,or appear to be putting on airs. Neither do you want to adopt an adolescenttone, using inappropriate SMS abbreviations, such as u instead of you.Adolescents dont do businessprofessionals do, and they use a professionalvocabulary. Casual slang and swear words are to be avoided for the samereasons.

The goal is to be friendly and straightforward. The people you do businesswith usually take for granted that youre a nice person who knows whatyoure doing. You can maintain that opinion simply by ensuring that youre-mails are direct and to the point.

OptionsI need information about I need to knowPlease provide feedback on Do you know...Could you please tell me I want to knowWhats the status/update on Do you have details onYou might be able to help with Can I have your opinion

Use your time wiselyIts quicker to spend 5 extra minutes cleaning up asloppy e-mail than it is to take time correcting mis-conceptions triggered by confused writing. A poorlywritten e-mail usually requires additional correspon-dence to clarify and correct what should have been clearthe first time around.


Reply to a Requestfor Information

SubjectAnnouncement

First Option

SecondOption

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Andrew, Sandy,Heres the information you requested on the HSF alloyinvestment.If we buy:Optimistic figures on 7-year horizon suggest future cashinflows at about 78M. Low interest rates in Central Americalook stable, and the HR legislation that just passed givesmanagement more latitude than in the past. Its not anotherSoCorp scenario.If we dont buy:The chief risk is that Lumina will make a move that willpotentially increase competition in Central American mar-kets. We can postpone investment until Reichart is on theblock and then position for subsidiaries.Give me a call before the week is up and well discuss thedetails.Regards,Karen VormannFinancial AssociateVector, [email protected]

The Basics 29

ToolsFavor short e-mails over long ones whenever you can

Long e-mails take too much time to read. Theyre too hard on the eyes.They require more effort to get through. For these reasons, try to keepyour e-mail to a laptop screen size whenever you can. The reader willappreciate it. And youll have a better chance of zeroing in on the mostimportant points.

Dont make the reader scrollScrolling takes extra keystrokes and extra time. If the reader has to scroll,you better make sure its worthwhile.

For some e-mail, its necessary. But much of the time, writers put in toomuch information and make the reader scroll through ideas that are eitherunnecessary or which belong elsewhere, perhaps in an attachment.

Consider divvying up a long e-mail into separate short e-mailsA reader would rather open up several short e-mails dedicated to differentsubjects than open one long e-mail that includes everything. The mainpoints tend to get lost or blur in a long e-mail. In a short one, the odds arebetter that the information is clearly organized.

Dont put all the background info into an e-mailBecause e-mail lends itself to brevity, you should only put necessaryinformation in an e-mail. Put lengthy background information in anattachment.

Recognize the link between brevity and confidenceIn many firms, the more authority the writer has, the shorter his or here-mails become. You have to put in enough information to get your pointacross, of course. But many writers are inclined to put in way too much.Detailing a subject to death makes you look unsure of your own opinionsand authority.

Dont put everything in writingCareful! Business insiders know that sensitive information either passesthrough the Legal Department or its not written down!

Save the sensitive stuff for a phone call. Or, better yet, a face-to-facemeeting. After all, you cant control who reads your e-mail, or where andwhen it might be forwarded.


AdviceBusiness writers of every stripe often make the same mistake. They thinkthat long, convoluted sentences and lofty vocabulary demonstrate intel-lectual sophistication and professional achievement. After all, theyve spenta fortune on education. Theyve worked hard to expand their vocabulary.Theyve passed the SAT and maybe the GMAT. Maybe theyve had to goto school at night instead of relaxing with family and friends; or maybethey had to work two jobs. Theyve studied hard. And the books they readin school used big words and complex sentences.

Therefore, big words and long, complex sentences suggest intellectualaccomplishment.

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The boss says...

What is this person trying to say? l Cant they hire people who knowhow to write? l Why cant he use the spellchecker? l Its hard tofigure out how someone as sharp as Pablo can write so poorly. lHasnt anyone told her? l I though Elsa was the right one to fill thepost, but after reading this doc, Im not so sure. l We cant afford togive more authority to someone with poor writing skills. l Put thise-mail at the bottom of the pile, I dont have time to figure it outright now. l Cant any of them learn how to edit?

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The Basics 31

In business email, nothing could be further from the truth. Big wordsand complex sentences belong to textbooks or hardcopy. Theyre made forreflection. A business email is differentits a transaction. In one youreflect on information over time; in the other, you transact informationfrom writer to reader.

Using long, complex sentences and lofty vocabulary doesnt furtherinformation exchange. Instead of hastening the process along, it slows itdown or even stops it.

Consider, for a moment, writers who use words that theyre not completelysure of. Often they dont even bother to look up the meaningsthey justtry them out in an e-mail to a colleague and hope for the best. Or they lettheir sentences run on and on in order to communicate the complexity oftheir thoughts. These writers think by borrowing a literary styleevenone they dont fully understandthey show how smart they are.

Then there are the writers who have actually mastered a range of polysyllabicvocabulary and complex sentence structures. Often they use their knowledgeto prove how educated and well-read they are, even if they suspect thereader wont understand. These writers are trying to show off and getattention by parading knowledge.

Both approaches are doomed to failure. Words and sentence structurebelong to thought itselfyou cant try them on or use them to impressyour friends the way you do a platinum watch. Words must correctly fitthe context, or theyre of no use at all. In business e-mail, success ismeasured by clarity, not by literary pretension. Sometimes polysyllabicvocabulary and complex sentences might be desirable, but theyre morerare than common.

Similarly, higher value is placed on a straightforward paragraph than onethat resorts to literary affect. In a well-written paragraph, the first sentenceusually tells the reader what the paragraph is about, and every other sentencein the paragraph supports the first sentence.

Your boss is often your editorWhen e-mails are forwarded from one desk to anotherin a firm, they often have to be cleaned up. Worse yet,they have to be rewritten. Greater responsibilityandthe higher paycheck that goes with ithas more to dowith writing ability than is often acknowledged.


In the same way, the opening of an email immediately announces thesubject thats discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. The opening of anemail shouldnt mislead the reader, or try to dazzle him or her with suspense.

Business email is about transacting information as clearly, rapidly, andconcisely as possible. For this reason, a simple, direct statement is valuedover other forms of expression.

DoChoose clear and direct words.Keep sentences short whenever possible.Put the subject at the front of the sentence and follow it by the verb.Encourage the reader with short paragraphs.

DontStrive for vocabulary that is polysyllabic, lofty, inflated.Mistake long sentences for sophisticated prose.Put the subject and verb at the end of a sentence.Forget that long paragraphs turn readers off.Offload literary pretension into business e-mail.

A cautionary taleWhat do you want from me? snapped the VP of amajor international corporation on the phone. I wasin Chicago; he was in Paris.

I was flabbergasted. Well, I, uh, I.... All of a suddenit hit me: My e-mail hadnt been clear. He was obligedto call me to figure it out. I was wasting that mansprecious time. I was wasting my own. I was wastingthe companys. And from the tone in his voice, heknew it, too.

My survival instinct kicked in, and I quickly commu-nicated the major points I thought I had covered inthe e-mail. That experience taught me a key lessonabout e-mail communication: Get the message across,right away.

Sharing InformationINCLUDING

For Your Information

Cover for Attached Document

Summary of a Conference Call

Announcement of a Meeting

Summary of a Meeting

Confirmation of an Oral Agreement

CHAPTER TWO

33

Sharing Information 35

For Your Information

SubjectAnnouncement

First Outcome

Second Outcome

GoodwillClose

Jenn,This is just to tell you that I sent the budget to Lumina.Sue signed off on it yesterday. In the cover letter we made itclear that we want written confirmation of the variance limits.If they dont send it, I will inform them in writing that ourprojections will be used in future negotiations.Based on our discussions, I think theyll send the variancereport. But well see.Ill keep you informed.Regards,Michelle NollebaumAssistant Budget AnalystVector, [email protected]

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ToolsAnnounce your FYI in the first sentence of the e-mailor bear the wrath!

While its good to try and keep everyone informed of developments, itsnot good to trick readers into reading an e-mail that doesnt requireimmediate attention. If you dont announce the FYI in the first sentence,odds are youre doing just thattricking the reader into reading. TheFYI subject line of the e-mail isnt enough. The busy reader may beopening mail in quick succession without even paying attention to thesubject line. You have to alert the reader to the FYI in the first line of thebody of the text.

Remember that e-mail is a synonym for actionBusiness professionals open e-mail to find out what action they have totake: make a decision, answer a question, right a situation, set up a face-to-face, review a draft, and so on. That means the reader is looking forwhat he or she has to do.

Because an FYI doesnt require action, it confuses readers if its not labeledboth in the subject line and in the first sentence of the e-mail. You dontwant readers to try and decide what theyre supposed to do when they readyour e-mail, especially if the answer is nothing.

Use your judgment carefully in an FYIAs with those egregious e-mail chain letters that threaten bad luck if youdont forward the letter to six people in the next 10 minutes, FYIs requirea judgment call. Sometimes, the information doesnt have to be forwardedat all.

The rapidity of e-mail encourages us to relay way too much information.Heaping your colleagues inboxes with nonessential e-mail literally sendsa message of immaturity. Seasoned colleagues use good judgment to drawthe line between what keeps the boss informed and what wastes the bossstime.

Recognize that your FYI might not even be readThe busy reader with 200 e-mails in the inbox might delete your FYIafter the first line, or file it to read later, if ever. An FYI is optional, notcompulsory.


OptionsFYI To make sure were on the same page...

Heads up This is just to tell you

This is to inform you For your information/files

Just so you know I wanted to let you know that

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How many times have I heard the following FYI complaints? Toomany!

Ive got enough work to do. If I want to know that information,Ill ask for it!

I spent all that time wading through the darn e-mail and then Ifind out its superfluous!

Nothing irritates me more than an FYI e-mail thats not prefacedas such. They waste time, energy, and disk space.

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Cover for Attached Document

SubjectAnnouncement

Summary ofDocument

Suggestions forDirectedReading

GoodwillClose

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Laura,I am pleased to attach the new HR final report, SparkCommitment: IT and Vector Employees.Authored by Lanten and Associates, the report explains howIT can strengthen the link between employee motivation andproductivity in every function. Information bonds, for ex-ample, are often overlooked in our business culture. Viewingthe employees intellectual property in emotive as well as ra-tional terms enhances dedication. And dedication to the com-pany leads to results.I would specifically like to draw your attention to the sectionon Vector E-mail Policy (VEP). As you know, policydiscussions are heating up in the next quarter. I will beinterested in hearing your thoughts about the reports findingsat the next VEP meeting.Please let me know what you think when you get a chance.Regards,Frances VentouxHR AssociateVector Affiliate Action [email protected]


ToolsTell the reader why the attached document is of interest

Please find attached doesnt always suffice! Sometimes the content ofthe attachment is enough to compel the reader to open the attachmentright awayif the reader is waiting for it. But in other situations, youneed to persuade the reader to actually skim the attachmentor to evenprint it out for slow and careful consideration.

Include a sentence or short paragraph highlightingthe relevance of the attachment

Readers want to know whywhy theyre reading the e-mail, why theyregoing to open the attachment, and why theyll find it worthwhile. Thetrick here is to appeal to the readers self-interest. Take a moment toquickly explain to him or her how, exactly, theyll profit from readingyour document. If you can phrase your sentence(s) so that it looks as ifyoure doing the reader a favorif you read this attachment thoroughly,youll look good at the meetingall the better.

Suggest that the reader is accountable for feedbackPolitely telling the readers that youre looking forward to their feedbackon a particular attachment is a good way to emphasize accountability. Ifyou can pinpoint a deadline for the feedback, say, at the next meeting,your request looks even more serious. That way, youre not simplyforwarding an attachment to an inboxthe reader is expected to look atthe attachment and have something to say. Busy readers who cant get toit will honestly tell you so, while the foot-draggers will either have comeup with an excuse to save face or actually do the reading.

An education doesnt mean you can writeBusiness professionals with impressive educationalcredentials can still have trouble communicating.Business professionals with a modest educationalbackground can sometimes communicate very well. Itsmore or less the luck of the draw if you had a writingteacher who pushed you in the right direction, or onewho cramped your abilities for years on end.


NetiquetteAlways remember that your e-mail has unseen readers. Once informationis digital, its durableand you have no real control over where it goes orwho sees it. Your e-mail may be forwarded immediatelyor in the futureto people you dont know or whom youll never meet. The forwards maybe accidental, intentional, or the result of subterfuge. But it all adds up toone thing: Privacy is not assured, and confidentiality is always at risk. Ifyoure not comfortable with others reading your e-mail, think twice aboutsending it.

Good writers work their languageA strong writer knows the difference between tellinga subordinate that he or she is wrong and sayingthat he or she is mistaken. A strong writer willconsciously chooses his or her words with a specificpurpose in mind.

A weak writer will often inadvertently insult the readerthrough poor word choice. In this case, its not thatthe writer doesnt grasp the difference between sayingsomeone is wrong and saying that someone ismistaken. Its that he or she isnt paying attention.

The difference between strong writers and weakwriters often amounts to a difference in consciousattention to the writing process. One writer carefullyconcentrates when writing an e-mailthe other justgets it off the desk as fast as possible. And it shows.

Suggest a specific part of the document for the readerto focus on and explain why

You can take some of the pressure off the reader by offering a directedreading. He or she doesnt have to trudge through the whole thing, onlythe bits that are the most relevant. Making a directed-reading move in acover letter suggests you recognize how valuable the readers time is, andthat you dont want to waste it.


Summary of a Conference Call

Zara, Norm, Carla,The April 18, 2007 conference call on the LITE deal included:one Lumina partner, one Rawls partner, and the Vector team(Langston from Corporate Tax, Duncan from OperationsManagement and myself).We agreed to the following:Corporate Structure1. Vector will sell its shares in LITE Consulting directly toLumina on the day of closing.2. Audit partners will receive their consideration in cash.3. Consulting Partners will receive deferred considerationconsisting of three yearly installments paid in Lumina shares.Further Observations1. Because Lumina owns the shares upon closing, the newcompany can integrate immediately.2. Although state law prohibits acquisition of the parentcompanys shares, in this case, were not infringing on restric-tions since shares will be used as a payment for the transaction.We have another phone call scheduled with LITE tomorrow.Let me know if I can supply additional information.Regards,Ron KocikMergers and Acquisitions AssociateVector, [email protected]

SubjectAnnouncement

Declaration

Subject Area

Facts

Subject Area

Facts

GoodwillClose

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ToolsDont clutter your e-mail with an elaborate outline system

Nobody wants to confront a list of I, A, 2, c, or iv in an e-mail. A systemthat combines Roman and Arabic numbers, and upper and lower casefigures and letters is too visually complicated and too cumbersome on ascreen. These old-fashioned outline systems are often confined to attachedcontracts, policies, and other legal documents. But even here, the trendin attachments is to simplify the numeric system whenever possible.

Choose simple, sequential numbers to organize your pointsNumeric systems are meant to order information, not steal the show. Itsbetter to opt for a straightforward numbering system that providesstructure, rather than using a more complicated system that draws attentionto itself.

Follow the number by a right parenthesis, such as 1), 2), and so on. Oruse the number followed by a period, such as 1., 2., and 3. Avoid morefussy or complicated methods, such as: 1/, 1) -, or (1.).

Arabic numbers are favored in business; Roman numerals are usuallyreserved for more formal content. In an everyday business e-mail, Romannumerals risk appearing conservative or old-fashioned.

Decide the sequenceSometime the most important point goes first. Other times, you maywant to simply list the points chronologically in the order that they weremade. If you are recounting events that took place at a meeting, chronologyis the logical method to use. But if youre summarizing what happened ata meeting, prioritizing the points in terms of importance1 being themost importantis the best option.


Announcement of a Meeting

SubjectAnnouncement

Meeting Content

ProposedOutcome

GoodwillClose

Derik, Vaughne, Margie,Im setting up a meeting at 10h00 on Feb. 3, 2007, in theMarketing Management Center to discuss progress on Poetics5.9. Ranya Perkins from R&D will be joining us, along withStan Hicks, our new Product Development Analyst.We will be reviewingand evaluatingthe performance ofthe brand against Sillicon Valley/Alley competitors. Towardthat end, please be prepared to discuss the Q3 results in termsof our Q4 projections. And Derik, please prepare the revisedVivek 12 adoption graph.Well use this meeting as preparation for the second analysthire next month.Please be in touch with your questions and concerns.Regards,Alfred BonnefoyChief Brand AnalystVector, [email protected]

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ToolsDont forget the logistics!

Although it sounds too obvious to mention, many writers neglect one ormore of the who, when, where, what, and why details when announcing ameeting. The reader has to request more information via e-mail,and thewriter has to write one or more e-mails to clarify information that shouldhave been clear in the first place.

A pattern of neglecting simple, straightforward information is a sure wayof supplying proof that youre disorganized. Or that youre too distractedto pay attention to the task thats in front of you. Or that you dontreview and revise your own e-mail!

Put logistic details in the order of importanceIf everyone has to travel to a distant city, the where of the meetingmight take precidence. If the participants frequently work off-site, thewhen might be more important. If its more or less sure everyone isgoing to be at the home office, then the time of the meeting might bethe primary concern.

Because the sequence of information often determines emphasis inEnglish, lead with the most important detail for your audience.

Choose the time abbreviation suited to your firm and contextIs it a ten oclock meeting? (No, its old-fashioned.)

10 am? (No, am looks like a verb.)

Ten? (No, because we routinely use Roman numbers, not English words,for time.)

10 a.m.? (This is acceptable.)

10? (Maybe, but it might be too casual for some firms or positions.)

10h00 GMT? (Maybe, but you only use time-zone abbreviations forappointments in which time zones matter.)

10:00? (This is acceptable if theres no risk of a.m./p.m. confusion.)

10h00? (This is acceptable if the firm uses a 24-hour clock.)


Choose the date abbreviation suited to your firm and contextIs it 3 Feb. 2006? (Yes, if youre not based in the United States or if youdont work for a U.S. company.)

February 3, 2006? (Doubtful, because long months are routinely abbre-viated unless the document is formal.)

2/3/06? (Yes, assuming the order of the day and the month is clear.)

Feb. 3? (This is good, but firms or writing contexts that insist on formalitywill also insist on including the year.)

To be safe, choose the time and date abbreviations usedby the firm in official correspondence

Oftentimes, writing decisions youre mulling over are already made foryou. All it takes is one look at the annual report, a recent statement by theBig Boss, or a quick check of edited documents on the intranet, and itsfigured out. If the boss uses the 24-hour clock, you should, too.

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The participants want to know what theyre going to get out of ameeting! They dont want to feel as if its just another obligationor that its going to be a huge bore. To foster a go-team-go atmo-sphere, ask the participants to specifically prepare for the meeting.Then include a quick sentence or two describing what the outcomeof the meeting is going to be, and if possible, how it relates to theparticipants future. By focusing on the outcome, you strengthenthe participants motivation and channel their productivity.

Taking the time to explain the relevance of a meeting paves the wayfor face-to-face success.

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Summary of a Meeting

SubjectAnnouncement

Topic 1

Topic 2

Topic 3

Topic 4

Topic 5

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George,Here are the notes from the March 8, 2007 Business Unitmeeting at Vector HQ with Roberto, Kathy, Mateo, Mei andAna.1) Mateo questioned the date when the 35/45 arrangementwill expire. Vector needs to clarify. Action: Roberto.2) Mateo also asked whether Vector has any other clients inthe same boat. If so, what plans are in place for them? Action:Roberto.3) Lumina needs to confirm plans/progress on the Poeticsupgrade at de Bracy. Action: Mei.4) M&G Corp will propose dates for Rony and Anders to visitthe Steiner Center. Action: Ana to contact.5) We all agreed that the technical issues associated with mi-gration from BJH suggested a disruption risk to Vector busi-ness. The migration timeline could exacerbate the situation.Action: All will investigate minimizing risk.Regards,Michael PalterBusiness Unit AssistantVector, [email protected]


ToolsInclude the date in the message summarizing a call or a meeting

You may be tempted to say yesterdays call, todays call, or last weeksmeeting. After all, theres a date stamp on the e-mailthats enough,right? No, its not. The reader might not pay attention to the date stampin the e-mail, and have to click back to find it.

Even more importantly, if the e-mail is forwarded, copied, and/or printed,the date stamp risks being altered. This can lead to disaster if, in thefuture, the e-mail turns out to be important in establishing a chronologyof events. Having the date in the body of the e-mail is just a little extrainsurance that the meeting is properly contextualized.

List the people taking part in a call or in a meetingWriting Finance Department doesnt sufficenot everyone might bethere, and the members of the department change over time. You can listthe attendees by name. If your firm maintains a more formal e-mail style,you may want to list their titles, too.

Time often plays funny tricks on us, so that we think well rememberinformation that we dont. Memory dims quickly. All the more reason toquickly jot down the players so that youor someone elsedoesnt getcaught out.

Add an action point to each topic of your meeting memoAction points ensure that a job is done. Or at least, they provide a recordof who didnt follow through!

Use the action point to close each topic, designate responsibility, describea course of action, or promote progress. Visually emphasize the actionpoint with italics, bold, or underlining.

Consider action points as motivational toolsThe employee who sees his or her name assigned to a particular task in ane-mail circulated among colleagues is apt to complete the task. Theemployee who is told verbally to complete a task in a group setting canalways maintain that he or she misunderstood.

Putting names and assignments in writing increases their formality. Why?Because the mere fact of writing something down makes it official.Although not all written records have the full force of the law behindthem, the existence of documentation lends weight and creditability tothe contents.


OptionsHere are my notes

Please find below the notes

I hope youll take time to review the notes

Please take time to consider the notes

Would you take a moment to look over the notes

The notes from the March 8 Business Unit meeting include

I wanted to get the March 8 Business Unit notes to you as soon aspossible

Whats a professional writer?Journalists are usually thought of as professionalwriters. So are novelists and screenwriters. And thetechnical writers who pen the directions for our cakemixes and write the brochures for our hotels are pros,too. But there is another kind of professional writerthe one in business who has to write at work, the onewith 50, 150, or 500 e-mails in the inbox every day.

If we define a professional writer by the number ofhours spent reading and writing per day, then manybusiness workers across all sectors can claim to be pro-fessional writers. These in-house writers should knowthe shortcuts, just like other writing professionals.Instead of trying to wing it, they should have a clearunderstanding of the goals of effective e-mail com-munication. They should have a range of simplewriting strategies that work.


Confirmation of anOral Agreement

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SubjectAnnouncement

Fact

Opinion

GoodwillClose

Jo, Don,This is to confirm that I have understood our Sept. 8, 2007conversation.Due to uptake problems in the forward quadrants, the rolloutschedule for Poetics 5.9 has been revised. Follow-up testingis scheduled at weekly intervals throughout the fall. R&D isworking with the Poetics team to resolve manufacturingproblems, but there wont be a hard update until all the datais in.In my opinion, we need to contact C&N about renegotiatingoutsourcing in the event of further delay.Let me know if this is right, and Ill organize a meeting forthe week of Sept. 12.Regards,Kitty OkamurraAssistant Director of ManufacturingVector, [email protected]


ToolsConfirm oral information whenever its appropriate

In busy offices, important information is as likely to be exchanged in anelevator as in a conference room. Dont make the mistake of thinkingyour interlocutors will remember your conversationoftentimes, theydont! You may forget the details, too. Keeping records of an oral exchangeis vital in terms of protecting your position. In the casual business idiom,this strategy is called Cover Your Ass or CYA.

Emphasize the factsWhenever you confirm oral information, think of the document yourewriting as a kind of transcript. You dont have to catch every nuance of aconversational exchange, but you do have to summarize in your own wordswhat you heard and said. Note who was present, mention specific dateswhenever possible, list any requests for action, and any agreements. If anissue has been left hanging or is undecided, mention that, too.

Divide facts from opinionsObjectivity is comforting in the business world! If you follow up a para-graph of facts with a paragraph of opinion, the reader will be inclined tolisten to your point of view.

But if you mix facts and opinions, you may be headed for trouble. Bouncingback and forth between the two puts stress on your transitions so that thewriting is more difficult to control. You may be tempted to compromiseclarity. Worse yet, you may also send the message that you cant draw theline between what is happening in the business and how you feel about it.

Dont write anything down youre not supposed toSensitive information is confined to oral communications in a firm.Because of potential legal risks, some information never makes it to thehard drive. If youre ever in doubt about the nature of the informationyoure documenting, ask before you put it down.


NetiquetteBusiness e-mail frowns on emotional frills. No more Hello, how are youtoday? or I really hope this e-mail finds you well and thriving. Thesekinds of friendly markers may still appear in personal e-mail, but theyreusually a waste of time in the business world.

Interestingly enough, the suppression of friendly markerseverythingfrom the Hi there in the opening to the Lets get together in thecloseisnt perceived as rude, cold, or even unfriendly.

The emphasis in business e-mail is on the facts, not on warm-and-fuzzyrelationships between colleagues. Because team spirit, mutual respect, andgood working relationships are usually required, they arent continuallyreinforced in writing. The Goodwill Close is enough to ensure camara-derie. A straightforward, factual tone sends the message that youre areliable employee, while too many emotional words and phrases mightbring your work, as well as your character, into question.

OptionsThis is to confirm... If you ask me...

In my opinion... Instinct tells me that...

It seems to me that... Similar situations have shown...

In my view... It makes sense to me that...

My thoughts about this... I wonder if...

My position is that... It occurs to me that...

From my perspective... My experience suggests...

Perhaps we should... I believe that...

The history suggests... My stand is...


AdviceTo jargon or not to jargon

Every sector, business, firm, function, department, and even some cohortteams have a specific vocabulary used on the job. This specialized vocabularyis called jargon and includes slang, abbreviations, acronyms, and technicalterms.

For example, M&A (Mergers and Acquisitions) is a common abbreviationused by business professionals around the world. But the acronym EMEA(Europe, Middle East, Asia) might be arcane for an employee in Brazil.Similarly, GNP (Gross National Product) is common, LIFO (Last In,First Out) less so, and D2E (debt to equity ratio) is mostly confined tothe accounting department.

For years, business communication specialists argued against jargon inany form. Why? Because if the reader doesnt share the jargon, youre notcommunicating. When this happens, you have to write a second (andperhaps even a third) e-mail, saying what you could have said clearly thefirst time aroundif only youd dropped the jargon and used commonwords.

More recently, the wholesale dismissal of jargon has yielded to a kinder,gentler position toward insider vocabulary. Heres why: it saves time. If Ican write SG&A in an e-mail instead of Selling, General, and Admin-istrative Expense and still get the same concept across, Im communicat-ing more rapidly and efficiently. And if I can use several acronyms in ane-mail, Ive saved a lot of time.

Written communication skills get noticedMany writers over the years have proudly told me howtheyve been complimented at work on their e-maildocuments. These same writers were once singled outfor their poor communication skills. Not anymore.Writers who sharpen their skills are often recognizedby management. They prove that effort does, indeed,lead to improvement in writing, as well as in otherareas.


But concision is not the only reason why communication professionalshave relaxed their stand on jargon. Another reason is that it continues tomultiply. Rather than going awayas some writers had hopedjargonhas become an essential part of our intellectual property. It takes a longtime to learn it, and even longer to feel comfortable with it. Instead ofconfusing readers, jargon can have the opposite effect; it can reinforceprofessional know-how and relationships.

Jargon is the marker of selective inclusion. If you think of it as a kind ofsecret language, known only to the initiated, jargon sets a standard, dividingwhos in from whos out. Those who know the jargon belong to the club,those who dont remain outside.

Sharing a secret language has a long history in human relationships.Mothers and children, for example, often have pet names, families usespecial made-up terms, and even corporate firms have their own insiderendearments. In every case, secret language reinforces human bonds. Usingjargon appropriately on the job underscores the fact that youre a player.But deciding if and when to use business jargon is tricky.

For example, I recently received an e-mail from a large internationalcorporation that told me to upload the WP at W3 with the IA. Worseyet, I was told to do it right away! Because I had no idea what a WP was,let alone a W3 or an IA, I had to write back saying that I didntunderstand. This led to further complications. Eventuallyseveral e-mailslaterI was able to execute the task.

This experience underscores the problem: Jargon isnt the issue; theaudience is. Other correspondents would have immediately understoodwhat the jargon in my e-mail meant. In other words, the main issue withjargon is not the growing number of acronyms and abbreviationsitschoosing the reader.

Insider words, used inappropriately, can arouse feelings of frustration,inadequacy, and even anger. In the worse case scenario, jargon can be usedon purpose to alienate readers. A seasoned employee, passed up for apromotion, might deluge the new hire with jargon in a doomed bid toassert his or her authority. Or a supervisor may use jargon unfamiliar toemployees in order to emphasize that they should do their homework.

Some companies place jargon dictionaries on their intranets to help newemployees get up to speed. Often colleagues will also help fill in the blanks.Using jargon wisely and correctly reinforces self-confidence and member-ship in the group. Just keep in mind who youre writing to.


DoUse jargon with other professionalsthose with whom you work closely.

Remember that using jargon appropriately will save you time.

DontUse jargon with those outside the inner circle of colleagues.

Confuse jargon with inflated vocabulary or wordiness. No one likes that.

Writing your way up the ladderThe ability to write crisp, clear, and clean e-mail canresult in raises and promotions. But lack of writingability can stall out a career. Or even end it.

Delicate SituationsINCLUDING

Request for Special Treatment

Problem-Solving Suggestion

Reassigning Fault

Retroactive Correction

Misplaced Document

Refusal to Participate

Apology for Inappropriate Behavior

CHAPTER THREE

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Delicate Situations 57

Request for Special Treatment

SubjectAnnouncement

Request forSpecial Treatment

Reason 1

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Mira,I am writing with regard to the Vector Audit Team visit toIndustrial Sales, scheduled on June 14 at 8:00 a.m.I know from the advance schedule that Audit has a tightprogram. I also know that the time slots for variousdepartments were confirmed weeks ago. But if we can pushback the date, it would be to our mutual advantage.Heres why: I have just received word that two of our SalesDirectors will be negotiating an important cross-sell dealduring the same window.We can go ahead with the meeting if there is no other option.But I feel certain that productivity will be enhanced if wehave a 100% attendance rate. We can reduce the workload ofpost-meeting follow-up if our top directors are included.I thought it was worthwhile to run the idea past you.I look forward to hearing from you soon.Regards,Forrester EvansApplied Industrial SalesVector, [email protected]


ToolsWhen making a preferential request,acknowledge the readers resistance

Generally speaking, people dont like to make plans and then change thembecause of someone elses needs. It makes more work. Besides, you shouldhave spoken up earlier, when things were in the planning stage.

Showing your reader that you know youre asking for special treatmentmay increase the readers beneficence. Some writers might even go so faras to express regretbut be careful! Its easier to reject someone who isgroveling, who knows that he or she is in the wrong, than it is someonewho looks you in the eye with a straightforward request.

Make the request right awayStalling the request or mincing words wont result in sympathy for yourposition. It will have the opposite effectfrustrating and irritating thereader. Say what you have to say straight out, without apology.

Insist on the benefits, not the inconveniencesDont dwell on the problems youre causingthat only adds fuel to thefire. Instead, try and draw attention to the positive outcomes you hope toachieve. Rephrase negative ideas in a positive way. Instead of Our SalesDirectors will be unable to attend the meeting, try Our Sales Directorswill be negotiating an important cross-sell deal.

Immediately explain the reasoning behind the requestThe more your reasoning benefits the reader, the more likely youll winyour case. Its to your advantage to show how both parties will profit fromthe change.

Notice the differencesGood writers can instantly judge whether an e-mail iseffective or a waste a time. Professional writers canactually tell you why one e-mail is better than another.But many poor writers dont notice differences inquality. Learning to recognize a successful e-mail isthe first step toward writing one.


Confine negative information to dependent clausesEnglish language readers unconsciously emphasize the main clause of asentencethats where the action is. The dependent clause is just the set-up, where contextualizing information goes. Consequently, you candownplay negative information just by shunting it off into a dependentclause. For example, put If we can push back the date in the dependentclause, and save the positive stuff for the main clause, it will be to ourmutual advantage.

Leave the ball in the readers courtYou never want to insist on special treatmentat least in the early rounds!Readers who feel that their authority is being recognized are generallysympathetic to requests. After all, it allows them to act with largesse. Butreaders who feel they are being pressured (or even forced) to make a changegenerally increase their resistance.

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You want to help your colleagues. At least, most people do. So whenthe request arrives for special treatment, you have to weigh yourresponse carefully. Is the request legitimate? Are the reasons clearlyarticulated? Will it be to your mutual advantage? Is the changefeasible?

While we cant fulfill every request, its often worthwhile to fulfillthose that we can. After all, one day you may need special treatmentin return.

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Berri,Id like to suggest we solve the backlog of photocopying byWeb scheduling copy time until the new scanners arrive.I think you might agree that everyone in Assets & Liabilitiesis aware of the backlog problem. Weve nearly all had to waitto photocopy. Some of us get there early; some of us staylate. Weve even had to go back and forth between our desksand the machine, hoping for an opportunity.But its not simply a problem of logistics. The fact that wehave to interrupt work to position ourselves at the machineimpacts our productivity. Frankly, I believe that concern abouthow and when to photocopy documents takes on greaterimportance than it should.We could possibly alleviate the situation if we posted a virtualsign-up sheet on the site. Photocopying time could be sched-uled in half-hour increments. We could leave an open hourat the beginning and end of the day for emergencies or forunexpected tasks. That way, wed lose less time going backand forth between our desks and standing around waiting.Let me know if you think my suggestion could work.Regards,Kate KenningsAssistant Assets AnalystVector, [email protected]

Problem-Solving Suggestion

SubjectAnnouncement

Explicit Problem

Implicit Problem

Solution

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ToolsDont mistake giving an order with making a suggestion!

Sometimes enthusiasm or frustration gets the better of us. We soundbossy, when really we only want to be supportive. The difference betweenbossy language and suggestive language is often just a matter of degree.For example, replacing You will agree with You might agree is enoughto take the edge off.

Try to point out that the problem is a shared concernThe last thing you want to do is single yourself out as a complainer! Ifthe problem is yours, then its usually yours to deal with, too.

But if the problem affects others, explain how and why. Show concernfor the impact on the group. Better yet, identify a solution. In doing so,you reinforce your status as a good team player. Youre acting not only tosave yourself irritation and inconvenience, but youre also working tohelp your colleagues.

Emphasize that the reader understands the issuesYou score points by giving the reader credit for recognizing the problemeven when he or she is apparently oblivious to the issue! The bigger theboss, the more their eyes are on the big picture. The details arent alwaysin focusunless someone calls attention to them.

Flattery goes a long way. Dont ever assume the boss hasnt noticedsomething. On the contrary, always assume that he or she has. Yourconfidence in the bosss capabilities will get you at least a hearing. Itmight even help you solve the problem.

Use the we pronoun whenever possibleWe refers to the reader and writer, of course. A we cant be adversarial.It is, by nature, united. A deft use of we underscores that youre on thesame team and working together. Youre not a complainerheavenforbid!youre a proactive, self-starting, problem-solver. And using wehelps bring that message home.

Opt for tentative languageModal verbs, such as might and could, along with qualifiers such aspossibly and probably, put the ball in the readers court. You want toguide the reader to take a particular course of action, not force him or herinto a corner.


NetiquetteE-mail favors contractions. Because e-mail is direct and informal,contractions are encouraged. Ill, hes, were, and so on are par forthe course. Contractions emphasize, through their informality, thecamaraderie of good business colleagues. Moreover, contractions save time.A few nanoseconds of cognitive expenditure are saved when we read orwrite shed instead of she would. And in business, we need every neuralincrement we can get!

But there are, however, specific cases when writers opt for whole wordsrather than contractions. Official business documents, such as a reprimandfor an employees file, or most legal documents, require greater formality,using whole words instead of contractions. We also prefer to write outcontractions when we want to emphasize the negative thrust in a statement.He will not is more negative than he wont. Similarly, She wouldprefer is more emphatic than shed prefer.

Be careful, though, of the temptation of foregoing contractions altogether.Why? Because beginning writers, inexperienced writers, and nonnativespeakers of English routinely contract less in writing than experiencedEnglish language writers. Contractions are associated with fluency andstyle; a lack of contractions is associated with language difficulties.

One way of checking for contractions is to read the e-mail aloud. Writerswho speak in contractions, but dont write with them, can easily improvetheir e-mail style simply by listening to their own speech.

The writer you want to be is more importantthan the writer you are

Most people have had bad writing experiences at onetime or another. Some people are haunted by thoseexperiences. Some folks have even been traumatizedby them. The idea that I cant write well becomes aself-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking in this way will nothelp you advance in your career. Everyone of normalintelligence can learn to communicate effectively ine-mail.


Doug,Thank you for your e-mail supplying evidence that the GS6Factor Emollient is not binding in Fork 8 Upgrade testing.As GS6 Factor Supervisor, I personally verified the bindingdata before we shipped. It appears, however, that the Luminalab providing the base emulsion complex is experiencing data-corruption problems.The thickening agent is not consistently performing to stan-dards. Consequently, the base emulsion complex is subjectto rapid deterioration at temperatures inferior to 3C. OurGS6 lab, as you know, does not test in these conditions.Because our lab cannot be responsible for conditions we areunable to test for, I suggest you contact Joe Perkins, Directorof Quality Control at Lumina, to arrange this matter. His e-mail is [email protected] I can assist you further, please let me know.Regards,Maria HoutlingGS6 Factor SupervisorVector, [email protected]

Reassigning Fault

SubjectAnnouncement

Admission

Explanation

Reassignmentof Fault

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ToolsWhen dealing with a complaint, be thankful thatit was brought to your attention

Taking a defensive tack makes you look guilty and unsure. It also makesyou look like youre at fault. If your conscious is clear, you probably wontfeel insulted. Youll be grateful that someone has brought a problem toyour attention.

Therefore, thank your interlocutor right off the bat! You want to set thestage for effective communication, not shut it down. Toward that end,keep a polite, neutral tone. Dont wallow in guilt, but dont insist on yourinnocence, either.

When theres an error or a problem, admit itThe best way to neutralize a complaineror a potentially aggressiveinterlocutoris to admit theres at least a grain of truth in his or herpoint of view. It takes the wind right out of their sails. Readers will beinclined to listen if you seem to be sympathetic to their position.

If, on the other hand, youre too angry or irritated to acknowledge at leasta vestige of legitimacy in the complaint, prepare for another assault.Somebody who takes the time to complain is usually someone who wontgive up.

Provide a rational explanation for redirecting responsibilityIn order to get the reader off your back, you have to provide reasons whya particular problem is not your responsibility. The more specific andconcrete the reasons, the more convincing they are.

Include a suggestion for further actionThe person who has taken the time to complain to you about a problemdeserves something in return. Saying that the problem is not yourresponsibility isnt enoughits a letdown when the reader was hopingfor a climax.

To maintain good working relationships, you have to make a usefulsuggestion. Give the name and contact information of someone else whomight be able to help. You may want to forward the e-mail yourself. Ifyou dont know who is the right person to deal with the problem, offer amethod of finding out.


Taking a little extra time to show that you care about the outcome of theproblem earns you a lot of points. And in business, where personalrelationships count far more than is often recognized, having a few moregood points on your tally sheet may be important to your future. Younever know who is going to come back to haunt youor help youonyour way.

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If youre pointing out that youve been wronged, more than anythingelse you want to be understood! You want to be acknowledged. Youwant a sympathetic ear. You want clear signals that your idea,complaint, suggestion, or accusation has been heard.

Thats why conceding the legitimacy of the readers position is crucial,even when you would rather press the delete button and get on withyour life. Grit your teeth, thank the reader, and acknowledge his orher claim. Show you care. Then when you deny your responsibility,theres greater likelihood that youll be heard.

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Xavier,New information has come to light regarding the sale and useof Datamax.I was correct in stating that the Malaysian student may takethe Datamax course offered by Vectoras long as coursematerials are public domain.But it has come to my attention that:

l the student cannot have a current or prior associationwith the Malaysian government or with defensecontractors;

l European subsidiaries are not in a position to providetechnical support;

l the student is prohibited by law from U.S. support(including troubleshooting).

Therefore, the student will be in possession of products forwhich there is no available support whatsoever.Furthermore, Cheryl rightly pointed out that there might bedownstream policy reasons to retard the sale and use of Datamaxin Malaysia. Revelations of the availability of Datamax in thatcountry could cause negative publicity for the company,especially in the US.Although the student may fulfill the conditions required tomatriculate into the course, we want to steer clear of any futurecomplications. I regret I didnt have this information earlier.Ill let you know if the situation changes.Regards,Sharon FarmerCross-Border OversightVector, [email protected]

Retroactive Correction

SubjectAnnouncement

OriginalInformation

RevisedInformation

QuickRegret

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ToolsAdmit you made a mistake

You want to immediately alert the reader to the fact that youve got newer,better information. You dont want to emphasize that you didnt do yourjob properly or that you made a mistakeat least not right away!

Choose a phrase such as, It has come to my attention, or New infor-mation has come to light instead of Sorry, I have just realized that orOops! I made a mistake... By censuring the I, you depersonalize theadmission of error.

Emphasize what was right in your information beforecorrecting what was wrong

You want to remind the reader what you got right before you lay out thecorrected information. Use phrases such as I was justified in saying...,I was in the right when I..., or My understanding of...was correct.That way you contextualize the negative in th

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