Win More Referrals by Knowing When to Ask!

8/13/2019 Win More Referrals by Knowing When to Ask!

1/11

REFERRALSTe 22 Best and 22 Worst

Critical Moments Of ruth

to Ask People for Referrals,Introductions andRecommendations!

N E T W O R K I N G C H E C K L I S T # 4

by Rob Brown

www.TeRobBrown.com


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Page 3 of 11 Rob Brown 2013 www.therobbrown.com

Robs Networking Checklists #4 - The 22 Best and Worst Times to Ask

for Referrals, Recommendations and Introductions

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You must develop a good sense of timing, notjust for referrals but for life in general. Greatrelationship builders, referral generators andsuccessful people discern the right time to:

When youre building your business by referral,you can undo all of your great positioning andrelationship building work by asking at the

wrong time.

So when are the right and wrong times to askyour 3Cs (clients, customers and contacts) for areferral? Here is your definitive list.

THE 22 BEST TIMES TO ASK FOR AREFERRAL

After Youve Given Them a Lead or1.Referral. Be constantly thinking aboutwhat kind of introductions they want. Askwho would make a good customer, clientor introduction for them. When you canpass business their way, you obligate themsubconsciously into reciprocating.

When They Have Been Particularly2.Demanding. If they have been over thetop, make sure you leave them under noillusions that youre putting yourself out.You can do this in a nice and professionalway, as long as you do it.

After Theyve Moved the Goal Posts.3.When they change their minds, changecriteria, change deals or change moods,you are in a good position to ask forsomething in return. They may well befeeling a little sheepish or bad for messingyou around or making those changes. Itgives you the leverage to ask.

After a Meeting.4. Sometimes, as youare packing up your things after a goodmeeting, drop in a simple By the way, Iwas meaning to ask you about a businessdevelopment issue. You can then go intoone of the neutral referral scripts in myReferral Script Bible, which usually startwith, Who do you know who...?

After You Resolve a Complaint or5.Mistake.When you put things right thathave gone wrong, you often emergewith more credibility than before ithappened. When theyre thanking you forstraightening your mistake out, theyrerelieved, happy and disposed to help you.So ask!

Say sorry Say thank you

Ask for more Ask for a referral

Ask for help Offer advice

Offer help Offer solutions

Chastise and Encourage

Compliment and Open your mouth

Shut your mouth Spring into action

Do nothing Make a decision

Delay making a Play

Work Take a risk

Life is all about timing... the unreachablebecomes reachable, the unavailablebecome available, the unattainable...

attainable. Have the patience, wait it outIts all about timing.

STACEY CHARTER


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When You See Them Accidentally.6. Theyrenot expecting to see you, you catch themoff guard, you pop the question and pluck

the answer from thin air. Because theres noagenda, people are often more relaxed. Aphrase such as: Fancy seeing you here! I wasthinking of you this week, and wanted to askif you could help me with something...

When You Pull Off Something Good and7.Unexpected. Making your 3Cs squeal withdelight is the sign of excellent service andstrong experiences that turn them into fansand evangelists. Youve heard of under-

promising and over-delivering. When youmanage peoples expectations correctly andthen make it happen, you wow them andcreate that moment of truth to leveragethat value.

When Youve Not Won Business for Good8.Reasons. You go to pitch for a particularslice of their business and you dont get it.You have a great relationship with them andthey feel bad. They wanted to give it to you

but perhaps you lost out on price. Maybethey wanted you to get it but one of theirfellow decision makers went for someoneelse. They want to make it up to you. You canleverage this situation with clever scriptingby giving them an opportunity to redressthe balance. How? By asking for a referral.

When They Ask If/How They Can Help9.You.This is a gilt-edged opportunity to askfor exactly what you want. Theyre pointblank asking you if you want more business.If you dont ask now, you undermine all theopportunities to ask because you probablywont get a better chance than this. Its youropen goal, so take the shot!

During Corporate Hospitality.10. Peoplearent stupid! They know why you winethem and dine them and entertain them.You should not be scared of bringingbusiness talk to the dinner table in suchsituations, although not necessarilytoo early. Its a natural return on yourinvestment to enquire as to who they knowthat they could introduce you to. Ask them!

When Theyre Relaxed.11. If the banter isgood, the feel-good is free-flowing andeverything is right with the world, itsan easy time to invite them to considerintroducing you to one or two people theyknow that you should be developing arelationship with.

After a Deal Is Satisfactorily Concluded.12.When the ink is dried or drying andeveryone is patting themselves on the backfor a job well done, then consider that yourwork may not be complete until youvepositioned some kind of referral question.These so-called moments of truth are whenyour emotional bank account is highest.If you dont feel you can leverage theseprecious occasions, you will not get all ofthe referrals you deserve.

Its always about timing. If its toosoon, no one understands. If its too

late, everyones forgotten.

ANNA WINTOUR


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After You Turn Down the Opportunity to13.Do Business With Them. Sometimes a dealis declined for the right reasons. You/the

bank is exposed to too much risk. Sometimesa customer or client wants to go down aparticular road and you know its not rightfor their business. When and if you canarticulate a convincing argument that saysyou could sell them something but its notright for them, you put yourself on their side.You become a peer of the buyer. That buildstrust and credibility, and allows you to ask forsomething in return.

After They Receive Good Company News.14.Take a close interest in their business.Read the daily press and subscribe to theirnewsletters. Get feeds from their websites toknow when anything changes. When theywin a good new account, have a great monthor year end, turning excellent quarterlyfigures, theyre in a great mood and will bemore disposed to help you.

After They Receive Good Personal News.15.

When their son passes his exams, theirdaughter passes a driving test or theyve hadsome otherwise great personal news, theyrebound to be in a really good mood. You canleverage this goodwill if you know whatyoure doing!

When Holidays Come Up in the16.Conversation.Holidays make everyonefeel good. Whether its talking about a greatone theyve just been on, or raving about agreat one theyre going on, it puts peoplein a good mood and a positive, openframe of mind. This is ideal for winning

PTE (Permission To Explore) opportunitiesand introductions to help you build yourbusiness.

When They Become a New Customer17.or Client.A prime time to ask for anintroduction is within 90 days of youbringing a new customer on board. Theyare in a good position to compare to whathas gone on before and to judge thedifference. You should also be asking when

customers make that discernible leap intoclient status. The deal is simple. They getmore from you and so you should get morefrom them.

When Referrals Are on the Agenda.18.Notwithstanding the fact that you shouldNOT use the word referrals in an externalenvironment, you should always positionreferrals on meeting agendas and leverageits presence with a well-structured series of

questions that culminate in you asking forintroductions and recommendations.

When They Say Thank You.19. The majorityof your efforts should be aimed at gettingyour customers, clients and contacts tothank you. You do this by providing greatservice, exceeding their expectations andgoing deep with your relationships. Withcarefully scripted alternatives to yourewelcome, you are in a great position to

leverage this moment of truth.

If the timings right and the gods arewith you, something special happens.

RICK SPRINGFIELD


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When You Get Them Out of the Brown20.Stuff!Theres no way round it. Theyowe you big time! They know it and youknow it. If they dont know it, then makesure you tell them. This is no time tobe modest. You can leverage this guilt,obligation and emotional debt to createa strong impetus to return the favour andgive you a referral.

After Youve Introduced Them to a Good21.Contact. As a professional, you shouldhave or be developing great contacts.You should have or be building up anextensive network of providers, suppliers,advisers and professionals. Anytime youcan introduce these to your customers andclients, you bring about a situation similarto recommending a good restaurantor good movie. People like you for it,appreciate you helping and want to dosomething for you.

After Youve Sent Them Some Business.22.This is the ultimate! Its only natural that

when you give them a lead, a prospect,an introduction or recommendation, youcan expect something back. This mightnot happen immediately, but it creates animbalance in the relationship that they areall too aware of. You must make it easyfor them to refer you, educate them onexactly what youre looking for and ask thequestion.

THE 22 WORST TIMES TO ASK FOR AREFERRAL

When Theyre Clearly Busy.1. Just like theweekly mens magazine advert that warnswomen: Dont ask for help on a Thursday,its inadvisable to ask for referralswhenever you perceive people have alot on their minds. Its enough for peopleto consider their own business withouthaving to think about yours. When theyhave a lot on their plate, it is your job totake things off rather than pile things up.

After a Particularly Exhausting Meeting.2.When proceedings have been deep, heavyand business-critical, its probably notthe best time to ask for referrals. Its agood time to position referrals by sayingsomething like, Tim, there was one otherthing I wanted to ask your advice on todayregarding a couple of people you might beable to introduce me to. Thats been quitea heavy meeting, though can I suggestwe leave that until next time we talk?

Monday Mornings, Friday Afternoons.3.This is not critical, as I have asked for andwon referrals at these times. However,people tend to have one foot in theweekend, and their mind is not alwaysfocused on your needs and wants. If youare going to ask at these times, makesure you have their full and undividedattention. A test the water script suchas, TIm, I know its first thing Monday

morning, and many people are clearingtheir inbox, but I was wondering if Icould pick your brains on a businessdevelopment issue...

Your best work involves timing. If someonewrote the best hip hop song of all time in the

Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

SCOTT ADAMS


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After Youve Increased Charges, Rates4.or Fees.This one is logical. If youre

taking something away from them, youare withdrawing from the emotional bankaccount (EBA). Asking for something isbest done when the EBA is full and youvemade some good deposits. Check theirsensitivity to any fee increases and treadcarefully if you are thinking of asking forreferrals.

After Youve Decreased Service Levels.5.This puts you in a weak position because

the value you are bringing to the table isdiminished. Remember the formula forwealth? Wealth = Value x Leverage. Whenthe value is high, the referral question isan excellent way to leverage. When thevalue is low, it is advisable to hold backon the referral question is until you haveredressed the balance.

After Youve Moved the Goal Posts.6.People like to feel they are in control.When you take that feeling away fromthem, they are less inclined to favour your

cause. Generally speaking, people arenot comfortable with change. Peoplelike routine, reliability, predictability,uniformity and certainty. If you recentlychanged the game or the rules of thegame, they may be feeling too vulnerableor too disinclined to help you.

When Its a Critical Time in Their7.Business Cycle. Be perceptive of critical

times like a month, quarter and yearends and seasonally demanding periodsin their business cycle. Remember thetiming of your referral question has to beright for them as well as right for you. Iftheir mind is on the business, it is unlikelythey will be able to give your requeststhe consideration they deserve right now.Bide your time and keep sowing seeds.

After a Mistake.8. You messed up. Or your

company got it wrong. These thingshappen, and depending on whetherthe problem is major or minor, there isstill an imbalance that might need to beredressed. Even if it doesnt bother yourpotential referral source, they may havesome concerns that such a mistake mightundermine their credibility and upsetanyone they may introduce you to. Waitfor things to die down before pitching thecourageous question.

When They Have Contra Personal,9.Business or Financial Indicators.Haveyou ever been in a position where yourbody is in one place where your heartand mind is somewhere else? This iswhere going deep is priceless in gaugingwhether or not you have the green lightto ask. Whats happening in their life thatwould take their focus off helping you?

When they say youre ahead of your time,

its just a polite way of saying you have areal bad sense of timing.

GEORGE MCGOVERN


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After Youve Declined Them for Some10.Reason. They ask you for some moremoney. They asked you to bend the rules.You considered it to be too risky, or forwhatever reason, you felt unable to comply.There is a danger they may take thispersonally. They may not even understandyour thinking. It is for this reason that youshould be very wary of asking for their help

when you have denied them yours.

While Youre Resolving Complaints.11.Just because you are in the process ofrefuelling the relationship doesnt meanthat you are cleared for take-off withyour referral question. When everythingis resolved beyond their satisfaction, theEBA is restored and you are in a muchstronger position to ask for what you want.Youre looking for two landmarks after a

complaint. The first is getting them backto the level of trust and confidence they

had before, and the second is gettingthem beyond that. Anywhere inbetweenthat is a better time to ask.

When Youre Desperate.12. People cansmell fear. They know when you dontmean it, they know when you dontwant it and they know when you dontdeserve it. You must be confident,expectant and natural. Even if deepdown, it is absolutely critical that you

come out with a name, you must not letthem see this, because desperation ofteninduces resistance instead of openingdoors. Stay cool!

When Youve Just Met Them.13. You mightthink this is logical, but I have seen ithappen. Be prepared to give first anddemonstrate value. If your company hasalready invested value in this particularrelationship and you have recently taken

it on, you may be in a position to askon behalf of the company. Otherwise,moving through the knowing, liking andtrusting phases of a relationship will putyou in a much stronger position to getyou what youre looking for.

When Company PR or Reputation14.is Low. If your company has hit theheadlines for the wrong reasons(exorbitant profits, overseas call centres

or closing branches are possibleexamples), youre swimming upstreamwhen it comes to generating referrals.Even if they are not too concerned, it isthe person that they refer you to thatmight be unsettled. Consider waiting forit to blow over. This makes it easier foryou to ask and easier for people to feelcomfortable in referring you.

You cannot afford to wait for perfectconditions. Goal setting is often a matter

of balancing timing against availableresources. Opportunities are easily lost while

waiting for perfect conditions.

GARY RYAN BLAIR


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When Youve Just Done All the Talking.15.If its all been about you, then it mightseem a little rude to then go on and ask

them to indulge you even more. Thereare some meetings where you have toimpart a lot of information and give a lotof advice. While this might be good inadding value, just think how they mightbe feeling if they havent really been ableto talk much. When you do give thema chance, its to tell you which of theirfriends, contacts and colleagues youshould be doing business with. Just athought!

When the Meeting is Solely Their16.Agenda. Sometimes they call themeeting, and want to make it all aboutthem. Thats okay thats what yourethere for. Just remember that its possibly aform of hijacking to then use that agendato develop your own concerns. While thisisnt always the case (sometimes you canuse the fact that because its been theirissues, its fair to add one of your own),

be mindful of taking the initiative awayfrom them and undermining their ego,situation and needs.

When Theyre a Customer Rather17.Than a Client. Remember customerswant transaction and clients want

relationships. Customers get service,clients get experiences. Customersget knowledge, clients get advice.Customers want a company, clients wantyou. Its much easier to get clients tohelp you than customers, for obviousreasons. If theyre not a client, do theyhave the potential to be? And whatwould it take? Theres a big differencebetween A List Clients and D ListCustomers and every level inbetween.You need to know!

When Its Too Stage-Managed.18.Sometimes you can contrive it toomuch. You can force it, you can pigeon-hole it and you can make it too obvious.Great referral generation is natural andeasy. If it seems anything less than that,youre not positioning it properly andyoure pressing too hard. Like a bar ofsoap, it will slip out of your hand!

When Your Mind is Elsewhere.19. Youvegot to be on top of your game. Youvegot to be in the moment. Youve got toget your scripts ready and your state ofmind conducive to results, mood andpositioning. If youre agitated, pre-occupied, stressed, worried or in anyway with your mind not on the job, thendont ask! Youll do more harm thangood.

When Youve Recently Asked.20. Goingback too soon is a common problemwith both weak and arrogant referralgenerators. Whether or not you gota name last time, you should leave areasonable period before going back tothe well. You should be able to gaugewhen is a reasonable time. If in doubt,position the referral question once moreand ask them when might be a goodtime to talk further.


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When Youve Not Changed Anything21.Since Failing Last Time.If you didnt get aname or otherwise struck out last time, thenthe chances of you turning it around areslim, unless you change something. Insanityis described as doing the same thing overand over and expecting a different result.Great referral generators are always lookingto improve, tweak their methods, refinetheir scripts and up their game. This willincrease your chances of success.

When Youre Not Rehearsed with Your22.Scripts. Asking for referrals is somethingfew people can wing. It needs carefulscripting, positioning and planning. It needsto be part of a referral marketing systemrather than a one-off event if you are tomaximise your opportunities. If youre notready with the right words, then anytimewill be the wrong time. You should write outwhat questions youre going to ask, rehearsethem and deliver them naturally. Then youllgenerate high quality referrals of the kindyoure really looking for.

You can now see that timing is everything whenit comes to asking for referrals. Its useful to notethat these are guidelines, and there are alwaystimes when someone will buck the trend andbe the exception to the norm.

You can ask at a good time and strike out.You can ask at a bad time and get lucky. Whatthese two lists do is maximise your potential

for success. The more you ask at the right time,the better will be your results, meaning morereferrals and more business!

BONUS SECTION

ROBS SEVEN RULES OF REFERRAL TIMING

Create opportunities to ask with good1.questions, good conversations andcareful planning. Opportunities will rarelyhappen by themselves! Rainmaker or not,you need to go out there, have the rightconversations and make them happen.Strong, proactive referral marketing isgoing to be your best source of highquality business from now on!

Create scripts for all kinds of situations,2.so that when the right time comes, yousay the right thing in the right way for theright result. Great salespeople, rainmakersand business developers use scripts.Whether they realise it or not, they say thesame things over and over again, becausethey know it brings the results they want.

If you feel the timing is right, ask the3.question you want to ask. Famous hockeyplayer Wayne Gretsky said. I miss 100% ofthe shots I dont take! Put another way, theanswer to every question you dont ask isno. So give people a chance to say yes byasking for their help. Remember DADG -Dont Ask, Dont Get!

Observe due measure, for right timingis in all things the most important

factor.

HESIOD


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If you have the open goal and you dont4.take the shot, thats your fault and yourloss. Every shot you dont take makes it

harder to take the next one. The longeryou leave it, the more difficult it will be togo back and ask. Miss a great opportunityto ask and you might never get anotherone like it. Take the shot!

If you cant ask the referral question, go5.half way by sowing a seed if at all possible.If you cant ask for an introduction, ask iftheyd be happy discussing the idea ofintroductions. Use hypotheticals like, How

would you feel about discussing one ortwo people you know who might be goodfor me to talk to about working with us?and Can we have a chat sometime about abusiness development challenge Ive got?Then its positioned and you earn valuablePTE at a future time.

Ask like its the most natural and normal6.thing in the world. Ask like you cantconceive of anything other than a positive

answer. Asking for help is an everydaything. Dont make it out to be anythingmore than that.

Its not all about you. Youve got to7.consider when its a good time for themas well as a good time for you. Thats why

you need to go deep and get to knowthem!

So youre armed and dangerous. Now goout there and ASK! Now, if I can help youwith any coaching on networking moreprofitably, selling yourself, raising your profileor winning more business, get in touch. Nowmake sure you get my other checklists andstay connected - I bring a new one out everymonth or so!

Win More Referrals by Knowing When to Ask!

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