Why Does My Child Behave Like That?

Practical Strategies for Parents of Kids on the Asperger/Autism

Spectrum

Our Kids

Flexible Thinking

GeneralizationMain Idea

OrganizationProblem-solving

PerspectiveTaking

UnwrittenSocial Rules

SocialCommunication

Self AwarenessSelf Advocacy

AttentionImpulse Control

Regulation of Emotions and Anxiety

SensoryRegulation

Looking through an Asperger’s/Autism

Lens

© Asperger/Autism Network www.aane.org

Ever feel this way?

Building Positive InteractionsAvoid “Four Cardinal Sins”

Thomas Phelan (2004)

• Nagging

• Lecturing

• Arguing

• Offering unscheduled, spontaneous advice

Building Positive InteractionsWhat to do Instead

• Talk less or keep silent

• Make an appointment to discuss the issue

• Seek to understand their point of view

• Car

• Use humor

• Enjoy each other!

Learning About EmotionsMeltdown Cycle

Teachable

Moment

Rumbling Meltdown Recovery Teachable Moment

Learn early signs of stress

Nothing is worth the explosion!

Brenda Smith Myles

Learning About Emotions

• Pictures in books• Special interests• Cartoons/Comics• TV/Movies• Apps • Video-replay• Charades/Drama• “Talking out loud”• Hi-Low

Self-RegulationThe Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis

Level Person, Place or Thing

Makes me feel like this

5 This could make me lose control!

4 (Find a quiet place)

This can really upset me!

3 This can make me feel nervous

2 (Use calming sequence)

This sometimes bothers me

1 This never bothers me

Self-Regulation Strategies The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis

Rating Size of Problem Responses

5 Catastrophe

(Fire)

“I have to follow directions and move fast.”

4 Big

(Mom in Hospital)

“Lots of people can help us.”

3 Medium

(Friend can’t play today)

“I can call someone else.”

2 Small

(Lost homework)

“I can talk to the teacher.”

1 Glitch

(Don’t like my lunch)

“Maybe dinner will be better.”

Self-Regulation StrategiesThe Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis

Rating Type of Word Example What will happen

5 Threatening Swearing at teacher

Get in trouble

Detention

4 Angry “Get out of my face”

Detention and stern lecture

3 Hurtful “I don’t care what you think”

Nobody wants to be with you.

2 Just fine “Could I take a break?”

You might get what you need!

1 Sweet “Thanks for your help.”

People want to be with and help you.

Fostering FlexibilityCleaning Your Room

Not Necessary

Not Allowed

Great OK

Cleaning every day

10 minutes every other day

Dirty laundry in basket

Never cleaning

Fostering FlexibilityI’m frustrated—what will help?

Doesn’t Last

Lasts a long time

Helps a little

Eating Treats Board or Card Games

Library

iPod

Video Games

Reading

Friend

Bike

Walk

Dog

Talking about it

Helps more

Feel much better

© Asperger/Autism Network www.aane.org

Fostering Flexibility: Solving Problems

Option 1 Option 2 Option 3

Difficulty Concern

Fighting

Playing

Helping

Plotting against parents

Perspective TakingWhat Siblings Do

Executive FunctioningVisual Schedules

3:30 Snack and Screen Time

4:30 Piano

5:30 Homework

6:00 Set Table and Dinner

6:30 Free Time

8:00 Get Ready for Bed and Read

Executive FunctioningWaiting Plan

• Brainstorm list

• Visual

• Timer

• Point

Executive FunctioningRoutines

Sarah Ward

What does the future hold?

Recommended Resources

• Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments, Brenda Smith Myles/Jack Southwick.

• The Incredible 5-Point Scale, Kari Dunn Buron/Mitzi Curtis.

• The Hidden Curriculum, Brenda Smith Myles, et.al.

• Navigating the Social World, Jeanette McAfee.• The Explosive Child, Ross Greene.• ADHD: Living Without Brakes, Martin Kutscher.• www.aane.org• www.cognitveconnections.com

• www.brendadater.com• Parenting without Panic Facebook Page• AANE Facebook Page

• Contact AANE (617) 393-3824 or info@aane.org